Chapter Text
[December 10, 2024]
“-breathe, Jaylad. Just breathe. Can you do that for me, son?”
Inhale.
Exhale.
Inhale.
Exhale.
“Jaylad, I need you to breathe, son-”
Inhale.
Exhale.
Inhale.
Exhale.
“Jaylad-”
Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.
Inhale exhale inhale exhale inhale exhale
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
“It’s the Ten Duel Commandments-”
Inhaleexhaleinhaleexhaleinhaleexhale-
“JAYLAD-”
(Some Time in the Past...)
Jason nearly died before. Many times.
Before the Joker killed him.
But this… this was different.
Somehow.
Somehow- out of every single horrible life-threatening experience in his life, this one was different.
This near-death was different.
Except he had already- already died.
His thoughts were slow, specific, choosy.
His thoughts should have been racing.
But they weren’t racing. They were barely moving at all.
He was barely moving at all.
He was floating.
In the water.
In the Pit.
In the Lazarus Pit.
That Talia-
That Talia dumped him in.
When he came back.
From-
From something.
Somewhere.
He couldn't exactly remember.
But he was angry.
Angry then.
Angry now.
He was angry.
At- at Joker for killing him. For killing- a- a lot of people.
At Batm- not at Batman, Batman was a symbol of Justice, like Superman was a symbol of Hope and Wonder Woman was a symbol of Peace.
No, he was wrong.
The Justice League were symbols of Justice.
Batman was a symbol of Faith.
How many times had he seen Bruce and Duck celebrate Hanukkah together? How many times had he seen Bruce sing in a language Jason couldn’t understand but it pulsed and thrummed and hummed in its melody that comforted him long enough to actually be able to sleep through the night without waking up terrified that Willis would come for him or Catherine would die again-
He hadn't seen those times.
He couldn't remember those times.
All he could remember was only green. Not Ivy’s green or Riddler’s green or Croc’s green.
But a rich, sickly, toxic yellowish-green that opened its vine-like lips with rotting yellow teeth that sank into his head, through his hair and skin and skull, directly into his brain, latched onto it like a vise and began to squeeze.
Jason nearly died before. Many times.
But this was different.
This wasn't the Joker killing him.
This wasn't an insane, horrible excuse for a human at all.
This was an entity that was hungry.
And it fed on the light of a person’s soul.
And as its teeth sank deeper into his head and as the bones began to crack, Jason realized that he wasn’t angry at Bruce at all.
Bruce was there.
At the door.
Screaming and crying and trying to break down the door.
But he couldn't.
He wasn't strong enough.
It wasn't Bruce’s fault at all.
He was just trying to be a dad.
…everyone was trying to be a dad. A mom. A parent. A sibling. A partner. A good family member that was worthy of love and care and affection and protection, like he was.
Bruce- like everyone, like almost every entity in this universe- was trying.
“But he failed.”
Jason’s eyes twitched.
…what?
“He failed to save you.”
Yeah? He did. But he was there for him, he had been there, Jason had heard him-
“Did you really hear him?”
He did.
Stop lying.
“I’m the liar? Really? You’re the one who’s lying to yourself-”
Stop. Lying.
His eyes twitched again.
“You’re just like Catherine. She lied to you, saying that she was your real mother, when she wasn't.”
Stop lying, he was not like Catherine-
“Like Willis. He left you on the streets and expected you to fall in line. And you call him a father.”
Stop lying, Willis was not his father-
“Like Bruce.
He adopted you claiming that he was saving your life, when in fact, he was just killing you faster-”
STOP LYING, BRUCE WAS HIS FATHER FOR GOD’S SAKE-
“Like you.
You say that you're capable of change, you’re capable of being a good person, and you’ve made sure that the entire world sees that you are a good person.
But there are those who don't see that.
There are those who see what I see- a monster. A pretender. A fake. Someone who is capable of hurting anyone he supposedly cared about, BECAUSE YOU WANT TO BE ALONE-”
“LIAR!!!” Jason screamed as loud as he could, only to gasp as yellow-greenish water poured into his mouth, down his throat, into his lungs and stomach and brain as he began to cough and gasp for air that wasn't coming through his nose and mouth because something had him now something was rifling through all the things he could remember and tossing out all the things they didn't like (problem was that those things they didn't like were all the good things he liked about himself and all the good things people liked about him) and there now was a growing darkness in his head and heart and body and mind and soul and it hurts it hurts it hurts stop hurting me please my body hurts because he couldn't breathe through the water and the pressure and the louder louder LOUDER doubting voice in his head and all he had to do was breathe, Jaylad, can you do that for me? Please Jaylad I need you to breathe please son please lad I need you to breathe for me please just like this inhale
Exhale
Inhale
Exhale
Inhale
Exhale
Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.
Inhale exhale inhale exhale inhale exhale
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
“It’s the Ten Duel Commandments-”
Inhaleexhaleinhaleexhaleinhaleexhale-
“JAYLAD-”