Chapter Text
Aether and Xiao had spent more time in each other's company during this year's Lantern Rite, a welcome surprise to both of them. It would’ve been foolish of them to admit they hadn’t understood the significance of each small touch, every glance that lingered for slightly too long, every not-so-subtle attempt to make their conversions last just a little bit longer. They both knew, of course they did, but nothing’s ever that simple. It couldn't be, not for them; the traveler destined to leave, and the conqueror destined to fall. Both knew, though unspoken, what they shared, what they could share, but they willed themselves to leave it untouched, undamaged. For now, they could savor each time their fingers brushed, each smile, every soft stare that came their way. This was enough. But still, Lantern Rite brought people together as it always does, and naturally, they found themselves in each other's company more and more during the festivities. 'This is nice, if only for a short while' they'd both think, allowing themselves to indulge in the rite, be swept away by their emotions briefly. It felt safer knowing it would come to an end in a few days and they’d part their separate ways again, seeing each other only when their paths crossed in their distant, unyielding journeys.
But this year, Xiao had been a lot more social, even agreeing to attend Hu Tao’s dinner, much to everyone's surprise. Aether couldn’t hide the shock on his face when the door had opened and none other than The Conqueror of Demons had walked in, he’s sure he couldn’t hide the smile that had followed quickly after too. The dinner had gone smoothly, with all of them enjoying each other's company and Aether and Paimon giggling as the Archons put on their best acts to fool the four unsuspecting people sitting across from them. Though he'd never tell him to his face (Aether valued his life more than that) he found himself enjoying Xiao’s flustered, nervous demeanor more and more, wondering how he’d never seen this side of him before; he thanked the Archons he got a chance to see it, chuckling at the irony of the phrase.
It had been a lovely evening, but when it came to a close and everyone parted ways, he felt as though he were back at square one, grasping at straws to try and keep Xiao with him for just a little bit longer. What could he say? He knew he’d probably be itching to return to his room at Wangshu Inn and enjoy the peace and quiet after such a loud and social night. Xiao never was a talker, after all. So Aether made up his mind, deciding he'd leave it for tonight and return to his tea pot - Lantern Rite may have been a good excuse to spend time with him, but he couldn’t let himself get attached, couldn't let himself grow used to seeing Xiao whenever he pleased. Five days a year. That was all they had, all they could allow themselves. Best not to get carried away.
But of course, as Aether turned to leave, Xiao had let out a soft ‘wait’, gathering his words briefly before asking if he’d like to join him at the Inn for a while, claiming he’d been given far too much tofu and could never finish it all on his own. He may have been new to this world, but Aether knew all too well about the tales of lover’s moonlit rendezvous at Wangsu Inn, and couldn’t help the swell of warmth in his chest when Xiao had asked.
The evening was spent stargazing and talking, Xiao being especially curious and asking Aether all sorts of questions about his home world, his life before Teyvat, and his adventures since he got here. No one had ever listened to him reminisce about his home before, no one had even asked. He had gone from nation to nation, fixing their problems and helping the people, and of course he was glad he could help, but no one had ever seen him as anything more than ‘The Traveler’. They’d ask for his help, so he’d solve their issues, and in return he’d get a ‘thank you’ as they returned to the comfort of their home, and Aether was left reminded that he would never belong here. It had been so lonely. But that night felt different. They had been laying on the wooden floorboards of the Wangshu Inn balcony with their shoulders almost touching, and their arms extending up, exchanging stories of their favorite stars and ignoring the untouched plate of tofu that sat between them. For a fleeting moment, Aether had felt at home.
Before he knew it, the knowing tension between them felt unbearable, burning into him and tearing through every sensible thought he had about maintaining their distance. He wanted more. He wanted to close the space between their shoulders and ask Xiao to be selfish, to forget about his duty as a Yaksha for one night and consider what he wanted for once, not what he felt he had to do. He wanted Xiao to be selfish the way that Aether often was when he thought about him. Whether it was the guilt of thinking such things, or the sudden and blinding desperation that had overcome him, he didn't know, but he knew it was impossible. He doesn’t belong here, and he never will. An outlander could never demand such a thing.
Before he could do something stupid, he sat up and wished goodnight to Xiao, thanking him for the tofu they’d left untouched. They both knew what Aether was really thanking him for, there wasn’t a need to say it out loud. As he stood up to leave the balcony, he turned to take one last look at Xiao, who was now sitting upright, his legs crossed in front of him and head turned to watch as Aether left. He understood now why Wangshu Inn had been known as a haven for lovers. His heart leapt as he watched Xiao wave a small goodbye, the moon glowing perfectly above him, casting the most ethereal, soft white light on his usually harsh features. He wanted to capture this moment forever, live it over, and over again, enjoying it more each time. But he had to leave. There was only one more day of Lantern Rite. Aether paused as he thought about how beautiful the fifth day had been last year, he’d tried to persuade Xiao to come but he refused each time, his duty came first, after all, and Liyue Harbour was a terrifying place for someone so unsure about humans. He understood why Xiao had declined, so this year he hadn’t bothered him with it. But still, he couldn’t help but try one last time as he left that night, his desperate thoughts getting the best of him.
“Hey, Xiao?” His voice was soft and quiet, his hand resting on the doorway as he stood debating his next words.
“Hm?” Xiao hummed, just as soft.
“Tomorrow’s the last day of Lantern Rite” he gulped, his throat feeling dry and his words feeling heavy on his tongue, “It’s my favorite day out of the five.”
Xiao’s face looked up at him with what could only be described as endearment, happy to listen to whatever Aether had to say next.
“They remind me of home – the lanterns” Aether smiled softly to himself, averting his eyes to the moonlight on the floor as he continued, “My sister and I have always loved the stars. When we were young, we’d sneak out onto the roof each night to gaze at them” he chuckled softly to himself as he recalled the memories and rested his head against the doorway.
“Our mother found us one night and nearly fainted from fear, gave us both a very stern lecture on why we shouldn’t be climbing up onto the roof. She knew that nothing she said could stop us though, so the next night, after she’d tucked us into bed, she told us to close our eyes, that she had a surprise for us. When we opened our eyes, there was this handmade mobile hung above us, with small paper shapes tied at different lengths, all glowing orange and spinning slowly. It was beautiful, It was… like being given the stars. Neither of us wanted to sit on the roof after that.”
Aether laughed quietly, wiping his eyes before any tears could fall. It had been so long since he could talk so freely, so naturally he’d gotten carried away.
“It’s my fondest memory of home,” he continued, hoping Xiao wasn’t bothered by his sudden monologue, “The lanterns remind me of the sky above my homeworld, and of the mobile our mother made for us. That’s why the fifth day is my favorite. It’s special to me.” He paused for a moment to build his courage,
“So, Xiao,” Aether looked back up at him, noticing his expression was still fond and soft, but also somewhat sad this time too, and smiled, “Tomorrow I… I want to watch the Lanterns together. I want to show you my home in the only way I can, because you’re special to me too”
Xiao’s eyes widened slightly, mouth falling open, words stuck in his throat, refusing to budge. He had known their relationship was different to most, Aether was special to him in a way that no one else could be, but that didn’t lessen the surprise of hearing it said out loud. Speaking it made it real, and so they’d never even uttered a word until now. But Aether left no time for Xiao to reply, fearing that any words that were to come from his mouth, good or bad, would reduce his already crumbling willpower to ashes. His hand slowly fell from the doorway as he turned to leave.
“Goodnight, Xiao” he smiled, before disappearing through the doorway, leaving Xiao staring at where he’d once been.
How long could he keep telling himself that this was enough?