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The sound of Reigen’s Usually irritating Alarm clock going off Holds a different meaning this morning. A one of anticipation.
The long weekend Reigen spent rehearsing his confession for Serizawa is over. He went over his lines again and again. He wants Serizawa to know how much he means to him. That Serizawa’s support of him, his job, and the kids mean everything to him.
For the first time, Reigen can see himself spending the rest of his life with someone. Serizawa was kind and understanding. It didn't hurt that he was also good-looking.
Reigen even noticed his efforts in school life too. He has been out in study groups and making more friends. He admired his personal growth.
Reigen began his travels to work. It felt longer than usual. It must be the nerves.
Reigen arrives at work awaiting Serizawa’s appearance.
Before Serizawa Arrives, Reigen gives himself a pep talk. “You got this Arataka! You are a man of many talents. Even teenage girls can confess their feelings!” Reigen leans back in his chair folding his arms “yup! You got this!” Reigen exudes a ‘fake it till you make it’ attitude.
He quickly stops his pep talk upon hearing the door open. In walks Serizawa. Who appears to be in high spirits this morning. Serizawa Is blushing even! Reigen can’t help but stare at his rosy complexion.
“Good morning sir!” Serizawa's smile seems brighter than normal.
“Ah! Good morning Serizawa! You seem chipper today.” Seeing Serizawa in such a good mood put him in a good mood. If anyone deserves happiness. It's Serizawa.
“Well Reigen, I have something to tell you. I also need to say thank you.” Serizawa sounds apprehensive.
“A thank you for me? Well, I also have something to tell you so lay it on me!” Reigen is oddly excited for what's to come. Serizawa is in a good mood coming to work! Who even gets excited about coming to work? Serizawa also wants to thank him.
Maybe Reigen didn't need to rehearse all weekend, perhaps he was worried for nothing. A part of Reigen believes that Serizawa might even reciprocate his feelings!
Serizawa pulls out his phone hesitantly. He spends a few moments selecting something. Perhaps he typed something up to help him confess his feelings. Reigen thought it was cute how anxious he was.
Serizawa finally takes a deep breath and shows his phone screen. There was a woman. She looked around the same age as Serizawa. She had thick blonde eyelashes that matched her hair. Her brown eyes seemed to sparkle through the phone.
“Who is this Serizawa?” Reigen’s voice cracked. Surely it must be a cousin. They don't really look alike. Maybe a distant cousin.
“She is my girlfriend. I met her at night school. We are the same age.” Serizawa returned his attention to the photo breaking eye contact with Reigen.
“I wanted to thank you for helping me break out of my shell. I never even thought I would be able to have a girlfriend but then I met you! You helped with so many things including social skills. I appreciate you Reigen.” Serizawa smiled not realizing he just told Reigen the one thing he feared. His worst-case scenario.
Reigen felt his heart drop. He could feel the weight of his heart in his stomach. He tried to swallow back his spit but he only felt pain.
“I was also wondering If I could leave early today? I have plans with my girlfriend tonight! It's so crazy I even get to say that” Serizawa chuckled.
Reigen couldn't even look up. If he met Serizawa’s eyes He would instantly cry.
Reigen took a few seconds before Responding.
“Just take the whole day off. You aren't needed here today anyways.” Reigen sounded harsh. He would never speak to Serizawa like this but right now he doesn't have a choice. It's either that or cry.
Serizawa noticed a shift in his mood. Maybe it wasn't the best thing to gloat about his new girlfriend when Reigen is single. He will have to apologize later.
“Oh really? Then I'll take your offer!” Serizawa gathers his things trying not to think of how rude he was. Reigen deserved to find love too! Serizawa has never been a wing man before but he can try!
Serizawa remembered Reigen had to tell him something too. “So uh you had something to tell me too didn't you?”
Reigen eyes still focused on the ground. Tears welling up. Reigen gulps before he answers “it doesn't matter. It was meaningless anyways. Just enjoy your day off Serizawa.”
Reigen abruptly stands up walking to the bathroom. Slamming the door. Serizawa takes that as his cue to leave. Serizawa assumes Reigen must have an upset stomach. Which isn't unusual for him.
Reigen finally lifts his head up. Making eye contact in the mirror. His tears finally spilled over his pale skin.
Reigen looks over his features. He starts with his hair. It was a gross yellow shade. Nothing like that woman's nearly angelic blonde hair. His nose was wide and not delicate like hers. His lips were uneven with a thin upper lip and thick bottom lip. She had perfectly pink plush lips. His bottom teeth were crooked while hers were pristine. Reigen placed his hands on his chest. That's when it hit him.
Serizawa doesn't like men. Maybe if Reigen was born a woman he would have a chance but here he was, an ugly man.
Reigen dropped to his knees. Repeating a phrase over and over again.
“I'm so stupid. I'm so fucking stupid. I don't deserve anything” He bawls up his fist slamming it against the wall. Not enough to hurt himself or damage the wall. Just enough to feel something other than heartsickness.
Reigen hasn't gone to happy trails in a while but after work, he will return. For the rest of the day he can put on the act of pretending everything is fine. He has done it most of his life. So it shouldn't be too hard. He can drink his sorrows away later tonight.