Chapter Text
My therapist recommended I start keeping a journal, some kind of written record of my feelings or something...
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Well then, first of all some ground rules:
1] NO RESPONDING TO ME!!! I mean it, this is a ONE WAY RELATIONSHIP.
2] NO TELLING OTHER DIARIES ABOUT ME!!
And FINALLY.
NEVER EVER ALLOW MY SON TO READ YOUR CONTENTS...
got it?
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Well now that that's out of the way.
I'm Lucifer (don't laugh), I'm 29 (I swear if you ask me how LONG I've been 29 I will rip you into tiny pieces and BURN YOU)
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I have a son named Michael whom I adore. He is the only reason I'm doing this. I need to get better, for his sake. He deserves a father who can get out of bed in the morning, and make him waffles for breakfast. A father who laughs and smiles everyday. A father who looks at him and sees light and joy, instead of a cruel reminder...
I love Michael, I do....
and that's why I get up every morning, a chuckle playing on a scratchy record. A tattered smile beginning to part at the seams. I make waffles with chocolate chips, and cool whip, drizzled with syrup. Hoping stupidly that maybe if it's sweet enough, he won't pay attention to the fact that I'm not eating with him. That he won't notice that I'm ripping myself to pieces. I barely have enough energy to apologize for leaving so early, giving a new shipment for the shop as an excuse.
I tarry out the door, purposely being clumsy to add the image of eagerness.
I made it to the car.
The tattered mask falls from my face, no longer necessary... here there is no Michael to convince. I drove to The Leaky Cauldron, and the bartender opens the brick wall for me as I make my way to Gabe and Luci's Joke Shop. I went through the front door locking it behind me. We don't open for another hour, and the shipment is scheduled to arrive this afternoon...
I went to my office in the back and locked that door too. I sat at the desk, opened the drawer and grabbed you.
The journal Dr.Tils gave me, and so here I am...
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How do I feel?
broken.
- Lucifer
