Archive of Our Own

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sweet mother, i cannot weave

slender aphrodite has overcome me

with longing for a girl

-

Kai’sa

-

Kai’sa was in trouble.

It had started slowly. Kai’sa, busy as always, had been tearing her hair out with stress over a case she was building with Yasuo, while her stomach rumbled and she made no plans to stop and eat. Yasuo had put his foot down and managed to make a compromise; she’d take a break for half an hour to eat something if she’d let him grab her something quick and easy from the new food truck stationed outside.

She’d gone outside with him, sullen and stressed sick, but as soon as she stepped foot onto the pavement, she was stopped in her tracks.

Oh, no.

The woman working in the truck was beautiful. Her hair, tied back and swept up in a wild, messy ponytail, had strands plastered to her brow beneath the headband she wore, and she worked with a grin which flashed her teeth as she chatted with her current customer.

Oh, no, Kai. No. Bad idea.

She had a simple tee shirt on, too large for her short frame, with sleeves baggy enough to reveal a sports bra underneath. Was that Ghibli print peeking through the gap? Kai’sa swore she could spot a tiny little Totoro.

No. Shut it down. Bad.

Kai’sa steeled herself to turn around and pull Yasuo inside, ready to insist that she really wasn’t hungry, honestly, and that she could get by with just a coffee, but -

- but then the woman in the truck finished with her current customers and turned to face them, and her eyes met Kai’sa’s, and Kai’sa was already a goner.

“Next, please?”

Her voice had a coarseness to it, not quite hoarse, but with a low rasp which Kai’sa wanted to hear read audiobooks.

The woman beamed at them as Yasuo dragged Kai’sa to the front of the truck. She had dimples dipping into both cheeks, and her smile fully met her eyes. Oh, this wasn’t good.

“Hi, thanks,” Yasuo nodded his greeting and browsed the menu hanging up in the back of the truck behind the woman. “I’ll take a pulled pork sub with fried onions, please.”

“Got it,” the woman nodded and grabbed a sub loaf from the side of the counter. She glanced over at Kai’sa. “And for you?”

“I, uh,” Kai’sa froze in place, her brain entirely too fixated on dimples and ponytail and pretty voice to even think about eating anything. The woman cocked her head to the side just a little, waiting for her, and Kai’sa scrambled to find her words. She forced her gaze to move to the chalk-written menu on the truck wall and picked off the first thing she could make out from the menu. “Just some mozzarella sticks, please.”

“You got it. Good choice.”

Yasuo paid with a simple tap of his card and sent the woman a friendly wave as he led Kai’sa back a few paces to wait for their food. Kai’sa’s brain still felt entirely scrambled, only loosely tied to the current moment as she came to terms with just how pretty a person could really be.

“You okay?” Yasuo asked, with a humorous lilt in his voice. He nudged her with an elbow. “I haven’t seen you this wound up since you worked your first case with Evelynn.”

“Oh, hush,” Kai’sa huffed and turned away from him, but her cheeks heated. He was right, really. Ahri and Evelynn were very entwined in each other, but they were open in their relationship and Kai’sa had found it extremely overwhelming to work with them. They’d found their rhythm eventually, but she was new to even accepting her sapphic identity, let alone exploring it.

They were great friends and fun to blow off steam with, but this woman was different. Kai’sa couldn’t quite put a finger on it; whether it was something to do with how Ahri and Evelynn were naturally flirtation by nature while this woman was blowing Kai’sa’s mind simply by standing there, or whether it was just because she was a total stranger, while she’d known Ahri for a few months before joining the firm and therefore had some time to prepare before working a case with them.

Whatever it was, Kai’sa felt hot and out of place, like she’d been shucked from her frame and left askew, and now was scrambling to find the right angle to be a functioning person again. She shook her head as if it could clear away her butterflies, and before she knew it, Yasuo was pressing a warm paper bag of deep-fried cheese sticks and a dipping pot of salsa into her hands.

“Come on. You survived, let’s get back to work.”

Kai’sa nodded, more than a little dazed. She waved a slightly trembling goodbye to the woman in the truck as they headed back into the building. The mozzarella angel waved them away with that lovely dimpled grin and an oil-shining spatula.

Kai’sa swore to forget about it and move on, but her plans were dashed as she took a bite of her first mozzarella stick and damn near came on the spot. It was piping hot, cheese melted instead of rubbery, with a delicious crunch in the crust.

There was no way in hell that Kai’sa wasn’t going to be going back to that truck for more of these. Which meant…

Oh, god. I’m doomed, aren’t I?

- - -

Akali made fantastic mozzarella sticks.

And oh, that name… Kai’sa had heard it when a man, looking just a little older than Akali, had grabbed her in a headlock one morning. He’d called her ‘Kali’ before their impromptu wrestling session, which Kai’sa had thought both dangerous to do in a food truck with a working grill and deep fryer, but extremely endearing nevertheless.

Kai’sa had tentatively tried the name that day at lunch, when Akali handed over her lunch - this time, a toasted goat’s cheese and ham ciabatta and a small bag of roasted carrots.

“Thanks, uh... Kali?” She cringed as she said it, already worrying if she was acting inappropriately by repeating what she’d heard.

Akali giggled, before shaking her head and gently correcting her.

“It’s Akali , actually. Missed a syllable, there. Heard my brother this morning, huh?”

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Kai’sa dipped her head, cheeks blazing. Her people–pleasing side began to spiral, but before it could go too far, Akali shook her head, grin wider than Kai’sa had ever seen it.

“No need. Kali’s just a nickname, is all - you still heard him right. Shen’s just not the most creative.”

Kai’sa nodded, relieved she’d not totally humiliated herself, even if her heart was still racing. She’d be lying if some small part of her wasn’t relieved to hear the word brother, too, but she soon scolded that part of her into a corner and covered it with a thick blanket. Firmly ignored.

She turned to head off, definitely walking faster than she needed to so she could disappear into the firm and hide. Akali’s voice stopped her in her tracks, though.

“Am I gonna get to hear your name sometime?” she called out. Kai’sa slowed to a stop and ran her thumb over the warm paper in her hands. She looked back over her shoulder and Akali’s face was, while petrifying, the only encouragement she needed to continue their dance.

“Do you ask all your customers’ names, or am I just special?”

“Ha, ha,” was Akali’s only response. Completely unreadable. Touché.

Kai’sa chewed on the inside of her cheek for a moment, looking down to study the suddenly fascinating ciabatta in her hands, before she steeled her nerves.

“It’s Kai’sa,” she glanced over her shoulder back at Akali, and saw her rolling the name over on her tongue, testing it out.

“Kai’sa… nice. It suits you.”

Kai’sa’s butterflies, which had apparently decided to reside permanently within her and Akali always managed to stir up, fluttered pleasantly.

If Kai’sa spent the rest of that day thinking about how pretty her name sounded when Akali was saying it, that was nobody’s business but hers.

- - -

Kai’sa had been mildly stewing in stress over how pretty she found Akali ever since she’d first seen her, but it was a few weeks before that stewing turned into full-on bubbling-over panic.

The food truck got there early, always before Kai’sa even got to work. Most days, Akali would be at the grill already by the time Kai’sa arrived, prepping the food which wasn’t defrosted or wiping the counters, and they’d exchange a friendly nod between them before Kai’sa ducked into the firm.

It wasn’t much, only simple pleasantries, but it was theirs, and it was a little fluttering burst of warmth in Kai’sa’s chest every morning. They never spoke on these mornings - at least, until one day when the heavens opened and decided to rain hellfire with the biggest downpour Nashramae had seen in years.

Kai’sa had been woefully unprepared. The sky had been clear with only a little drizzle when she’d left her apartment, so she’d figured she’d make do during the short walk with just her jacket’s hood. In the middle of her bus ride, however, the rain began to fall so hard it hammered, deafening, against the bus roof. She’d stood under the bus stop for a decent half-minute, lying in dread at the thought of running through the rain.

She’d brought a jacket, but it was far too thin to be an appropriate cover. Her best bet would be to simply run and pray she could get to the firm before she was soaked through.

“Clumsy girl,” she sighed, resigning herself to her fate.

She pulled her hood up over her ears, tucking her long braid inside her jacket, and began the sprint.

The rain slammed into her shoulders with a vengeance, like an angry neighbour protesting the noise in the next apartment over. It practically knocked the breath from her lungs, but she clenched her teeth and kept running.

Akali’s voice cut through her concentration and slowed her steps.

“Kai’sa! What the hell are you doing?”

The pavement was slippery, but with just enough grit that she didn’t go careening into the food truck as she skidded to a halt. The truck’s open side door was shield enough from the rain as Kai’sa pressed herself against the side of the vehicle, panting heavily.

“Hi,” was the best she could manage through the haze of her run. It wasn’t too far from the bus stop to the firm, but she’d been running her hardest, and the sharp stop was enough to make her burning lungs protest. She sagged a little against the truck, resting her arm on the counter and her chin on her arm.

Akali chuckled lowly and leaned forward to rest both elbows on her side of the counter.

“Rough morning?”

“You could say that,” Kai’sa moaned miserably. She glared out at the few paces remaining between the food truck and the firm’s revolving doors. “The one time I don’t take precautions…”

“Precautions?” Akali sounded delighted. She reached forward and brushed a stray lock of wet hair underneath Kai’sa’s hood. It was tender, but Kai’sa was in far too bad of a mood to find elation in the gentle touch.

“You’re laughing at me,” she pouted, but Akali only grinned and shook her head.

“I’m laughing at the absurdity. I didn’t think I’d ever see you this shaken up.”

She disappeared from the counter for a minute, heading into the front of the truck, and reappeared a little while later with an umbrella in her hand.

“Oh, Akali, I couldn’t,” Kai’sa protested, but Akali pushed the umbrella into her hands.

“Please. Give it back tomorrow, or something, but use it today.”

Kai’sa hesitated, glancing down at the umbrella in her hands. It was roughly tied shut, not like Kai’sa’s usual clean folding, and somehow, the messiness was extremely charming. She bit her lip and opened the umbrella.

Akali’s smile stretched wider and her eyes softened. Kai’sa nearly couldn’t bear how lovely it was that her smiles reached her eyes like they did. The thought made the cool metal of the umbrella burn in Kai’sa’s palm.

Quickly, too quickly, the warmth fluttering in her chest turned into something dark and twisted. She could feel herself hurtling towards something closer to fear than attraction, but really, the two were so closely mingled she could barely tell them apart.

To open your heart to someone is to leave yourself open to being hurt, and Kai’sa’s fragile heart wasn’t ready for what Akali might bring. The thought made her throat tighten and her forehead began to prickle with sweat, even as her damp clothes sent a chill down her spine.

She headed into the law firm with a racing mind and thumping heartbeat, and Akali’s umbrella burning viciously through the skin of her hand.

- - -

Kai’sa wouldn’t admit it, but she avoided Akali for a while after that. She returned her umbrella the next morning and offered a hundred thank-you’s, but she avoided the food truck when it hit her lunch break and she didn’t offer Akali more than their usual polite morning nod. The butterflies in her ribcage had interbred with her fear and created something much scarier. They were closer to bats now, digging their claws into the lining of her stomach and feeding on her anxiety.

Akali was far too dangerous.

Even admitting that was frightening. It meant admitting that she meant something to Kai’sa, that she’d reached cleanly through the cracks in her walls and ran her fingers lightly across the surface of her heart. After a lifetime of building those walls, protecting herself from the hell she’d faced growing up, it was a threat.

She was replastering the cracks in her defences as hastily as she could. She was being sloppy with it. Plaster was flying off her brush, splattering herself, ruining her clothes, but she was desperate in trying to hide any vulnerability she could.

Kai’sa could see Akali was confused by it. When she left the firm in the evenings she could see a flash of something unpleasant in her eyes, something puzzled and hurt. It killed Kai’sa to see, but she couldn’t open herself up again.

Every time she thought about it, pondered tearing down the plaster and reaching through the cracks to find Akali’s hand again, she thought back - to Ezreal, to heartbreak, to spending nights on her knees in her own shower, sobbing there because nobody could see her cry under the water. She thought of new fears, of unlocking a part of her she’d never been able to recognise for most of her life until it had hit her suddenly one night at an entire twenty-three years old.

It had wracked her to her core. It had explained so much, explained so many mixed feelings she’d had growing up. Every little idol she’d had which had turned out to be a crush, every pang of something she’d brushed off as jealousy when looking at her classmates. Noticing how the sunlight caught on the eyelashes of a girl she was friends with once and finding herself knocked breathless…

The realisation had shaken her so hard she’d locked it away in a box she determined never to open. She’d not had to face it directly until she met Ahri and Evelynn, and they were private enough that she felt safe to process it.

Akali was, for all intents and purposes, a stranger. Kai’sa admitting her attraction meant opening the door to someone who might take this part of her and use it to shatter her completely.

It was a weakness. It was too big of a danger. She locked the box in her mind and shelved it, before she clenched the key in one fist and hurled it as hard as she could. She couldn’t open it for Akali, no matter how much a deep part of her yearned to.

She was determined… that was, until she saw Akali outside the truck one morning, a strip of raw chicken in one hand, cooing gently to something hiding in a gutter. Kai’sa stopped in her tracks at the sight.

Akali was in a crop top, showing off the small of her back. Kai’sa could see the edge of a tattoo there, just peeking out. She couldn’t make out what it was, but it looked to have the same scaly pattern which ran down Akali’s arm. She guessed the two must be connected. She bit her lip and stepped closer, peering over Akali’s shoulder.

A little kitten sat huddled in the ditch, craning away from Akali’s outstretched hand.

“Oh, my god,” Kai’sa breathed, and Akali nodded, the movement slight but just noticeable.

“Yeah. Little guy’s been here since we arrived. I’m trying to get him in the truck to warm him up a bit.”

“Baby,” Kai’sa whispered and knelt by Akali’s side. The kitten eyed her, ears plastered back against its neck and its hackles raised. It was filthy and damp, with its fur in ratty clumps. Through the dirt, Kai’sa could see a deep grey tabby coat. Its eyes were a pale green.

It opened its tiny mouth and hissed. Akali gently shushed the kitten. She shifted to sit down and lowered her hand so she was resting it on the ground, and turned to look away from the kitten. She turned into Kai’sa, nosing into her shoulder.

Kai’sa knew she was only doing it to reassure the kitten that she wasn’t going to hurt it, but she still felt her heart rate pick up at the closeness between them. It was the closest they’d ever been; the first time they’d sat beside each other without the truck’s counter between them.

With the truck there, Kai’sa had felt some protection against how she felt, but now, without that barrier, she was open, and hollow, and Akali’s.

She followed Akali’s lead and looked away, towards Akali’s messy updo. She ended up with Akali’s hair just tickling her nose, and she closed her eyes to keep herself from trembling right back into panic mode.

They sat there for a while, quiet and calm, until eventually, Akali let out a soft exhale. Kai’sa opened her eyes and glanced down at her, before she looked over at the kitten.

It had crawled over, and was now on its belly, chewing at the strip of chicken. The end of it was still gripped in Akali’s hand, but she opened it to leave it on her palm and the kitten crept closer to take it from her completely.

“That’s it,” Akali murmured, her tone full of warmth. “Brave boy. Sweet boy.”

The kitten purred as it ate. It sprawled out on its belly, legs skewed behind it, and pinned the chicken to the ground with both front paws as it tore it apart with its sharp little baby teeth.

“Oh, wow,” Kai’sa couldn’t stop herself from grinning. Akali nudged her with her shoulder.

“He’s cute, huh?”

“So cute. This is unfair.”

“Ha. Yeah.” Akali glanced over at her. “It is.”

Kai’sa stilled a little. That comment felt pointed, and she couldn’t quite figure out what Akali was trying to say. Perhaps part of her knew, really, but would never admit it. Perhaps she was fooling herself. One day she’d look back and understand exactly, but for now, the emotions all built up too far in her head.

She stood up, rested a hand on Akali’s shoulder in a wordless goodbye, and almost ran into the firm.

- - -

“Darling, you’re being obtuse,” Evelynn complained. Ahri hushed her and reached out to lift Kai’sa’s chin with a finger.

“Kai, you like this girl. It’s obvious.”

“Is it?” Kai’sa moped. “I thought I was hiding it pretty well, aside from, well. Telling you.”

“Oh, sweetheart, we’ve known for weeks,” Ahri smiled, with a spark of humour in her eyes. “You’re always happy as anything when you come back from lunch.”

“You mention the truck at least once a day,” Evelynn added, and Ahri nodded.

“Yes, and you’ve been absolutely miserable these last couple of weeks when you’ve been going out for lunch instead.”

“Fuck me,” Kai’sa groaned and turned away, her face burning with embarrassment. In response, Ahri giggled and Evelynn only shifted her face into a smug smile. Kai’sa groaned louder and strode away from them. She tapped on the screen of the coffee maker and growled as it showed it was only about halfway through dribbling her drink into her mug.

“Okay, in all seriousness,” Ahri started again, her voice still tight from barely contained laughter. “What’s holding you back? You like her.”

“I do,” Kai’sa shuddered. Her coffee finished pouring and she snatched the mug out from the machine. Evelynn handed her the milk from where it sat on the counter and after Kai’sa had poured herself a decent splash until her drink turned that perfect mid-strength colour, she slipped it back into the fridge.

“And so? Ask her out!”

“I can’t,” Kai’sa said, her voice turning low as they touched on that fragile part of her heart. She took her drink in both hands and sagged into one of the communal area’s armchairs. It was stiffer than she’d like and not particularly kind to her spine, but she felt like curling up into a ball and disappearing forever, and this was close enough.

Ahri sat next to her on the end of a loveseat, and Evelynn walked over to stand in front of Kai’sa. She was imposing and somewhat scary, but her face was softer than usual. She cared deeply about those she took under her wing, that much Kai’sa knew, and she automatically fell into that category as Ahri’s friend.

“Tell us, love,” Evelynn murmured. Kai’sa looked down into her coffee and sipped it. It was too hot and she winced, but she spoke anyway.

“I just… I can’t. I’m terrified. I can’t even exactly pinpoint why I’m so scared, but I know it wouldn’t only affect me.”

She avoided looking at either of her friends’ faces and took another sip of scalding coffee. She cursed her own impatience.

“Look, I’m new to this. You both know that. I don’t know how I’m feeling about all of it, and hell, even if I was okay with it, I don’t even know if she’s into women. What if I put myself out there and tell her, and it makes her uncomfortable?

“This is where business is clearly good; they’ve been here for months. What if I make her feel like they need to move and it hurts their profits? It wouldn’t be fair.”

She sighed and sank further into the uncomfortable chair.

“It’s just… not fair.”

Neither of her friends responded to that for a while. Kai’sa didn’t look up at them, feeling at far too much risk of giving in to the lump in her throat and tearing up. She took another gulp of coffee, which was thankfully beginning to cool a little.

Eventually, Ahri reached out and rested a hand on her arm.

“All I know, Kai, is that she’d be lucky to have you. We’ll support you in whatever choice you make, but if you ask me, I think it’s worth a shot.”

Kai’sa glanced over at her, finally, and had to bite her tongue to fight back the hot sting of tears as they threatened to build up.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Ahri’s eyes were gentle. “I think you deserve to be brave.”

Kai’sa lost the fight, and tears began to fall.

-

-

you are, i think, an evening star,

the fairest of all stars

-

Akali

-

Akali didn’t realise, upon first seeing Kai’sa, that she was about to fall head over heels in love with her.

She was a bit of an old hand when it came to loving people. She’d loved and lost many over the course of her life - it would be impossible not to with her kind of childhood - but Kai’sa felt different.

In the past, Akali found it easy to love and be loved. As a child, even in a turbulent home she might lose at any moment, she smiled effortlessly and found it simple to make friends. She’d protect the kids who needed protecting. She was scrappy and feisty, and she would fight for justice in a world where kids didn’t get much of it.

She’d argue against teachers who punished students unfairly and was sent to the office for it more times than she could count. She was a handful, but it drew people to her. She was the one who stood up for what she believed, who would be your ride or die.

It turned out, though, that when she was pulled away from her home and moved to a different city, most of the kids she’d met weren’t quite as dedicated as her. They’d stop writing, they’d put off visiting until Akali learned not to even ask, and as she grew older, she learned not to expect friends to stick around for long.

It became an inevitability. She’d move somewhere, she’d make friends, and then she’d lose all she had and have to start over again. She grew so used to the cycle that it became normal. She grew territorial over what she knew was hers to keep - her bag, her clothes, her appearance.

As soon as she was old enough, she’d gotten herself a fake ID and gotten a tattoo - a dragon, curled up breathing fire on her back and coiling all the way down her right arm. It was big. It was a bold statement, and it was hers. She’d stolen the money for it from their foster parents at the time, and she was put through hell as punishment for it. To her, though, the statement was more than worth what she had to suffer for it.

She was used to it, now - getting to know people and being told, very effectively, that she was not worth the effort of knowing.

It was hard not to internalise that kind of consistency.

She put her feelings on the back burner growing up, and now she was used to it; to expecting disappointment and, time and time again, being right. She never knew what she’d done to push people away. All she knew, after a childhood of constant reinforcement of the idea, was that she was not worthy of people’s time. She could love people, and she did, but they would never love her back.

She’d long since made peace with it. There was no point in finding heartbreak in inevitability.

For a long time, she stayed with those who would never leave her. For even longer, that person was Shen. Her brother was just as ride-or-die as she was, and they’d stuck together through countless tumultuous homes and heartbreaks.

They understood each other, and until Kennan came along to foster and finally adopt them, they were the only constant either of them had in their lives. Akali had him, and now Kennan, and that was all she needed. She’d been hurt enough times to know that she would never be worthy of anyone else’s time, and she was at peace with never loving again.

It was fine.

Until Kai’sa.

- - -

The first time they met, Akali didn’t really notice Kai’sa as incredibly out of the ordinary. She was beautiful, but Akali had served so many beautiful customers she’d almost tuned them out. These people showed up for a quick meal on their way through the city, usually on some sightseeing tour or for a break as they left the morning silk markets in the upper quadrant of Nashmarae.

She’d enjoyed the brief eye candy, and moved on with her day.

She began to notice her, though, when Kai’sa kept coming back. She began to realise she saw her each morning; that she worked in the law firm they parked just nearby. She wasn’t just some tourist, and she was going to be a constant for as long as they continued to park there.

It was a good place to park. It was close by the trams to the market, it was just a street away from the harbour - sailors were hungry people, they’d found - and it was right on a main street of businesses, filled with people too busy to feed themselves properly. It was guaranteed constant cash flow, and it kept them in the green.

They weren’t the only truck on the street, of course, and they had some competition, but they were okay.

They had no reason to move, and that meant there was no reason Kai’sa was going to vanish from Akali’s life anytime soon. That thought alone made something stir inside her. She didn’t get her hopes up, of course; she’d had greater odds of staying in people’s life and lost them still in the past.

For now, she was just grateful. She didn’t know exactly what for - it wasn’t like she even knew this customer’s name yet - but there was warmth in sharing a nod with her each morning. It was comforting.

- - -

She began to realise she was in real danger of falling when one day, Kai’sa arrived at the food truck looking absolutely ragged. She had dark rings under her eyes and looked almost like she’d been crying. Her cheeks were scratched as if she’d vigorously wiped away tear-streaked mascara, and she was unusually quiet as she ordered her food - peppered eel and lemon panini.

Akali made her food in contemplative silence and as she handed Kai’sa the warm paper bag, she made up her mind to ask.

“Rough day?”

“Do I look that bad?” Kai’sa mumbled. She subconsciously wiped her cheek with one sleeve, and Akali rushed to correct her.

“Oh, sorry. Didn’t mean to be rude. I was just... Are you okay?”

Kai’sa chuckled, but the sound was fragmented with stale sobs. There was no doubt she’d broken down crying not long before, if her breathing was still stuttering. Akali hated that. She offered Kai’sa a few free clean napkins, and she took them with a grateful dip of her head.

“No,” Kai’sa answered her honestly. “I can’t talk about it much, either. I’ve just… got this client. He’s innocent, and there’s no way the courts are going to believe him.”

Akali straightened up a little.

“Well, shit.”

“He’s going to prison for a very long time, and there’s no way I’ll be able to protect him. Not really.” Kai’sa looked dissociated as she explained. She stared glassily down at her food. “He deserves better than anything I can do for him. I’ve failed him.”

Akali was floored. She had no response to that. In her childhood, lawyers were bad news. They meant another lost home, another family she wasn’t good enough for, another few months of awful heartbreak as they were shuffled between homes until they found their next proper fosters. She reached up to grip her tattooed arm. It only felt like skin, but it felt almost as if she could feel the dragon’s scales against her palm, and it was grounding.

“I’m sorry,” Kai’sa shook her head. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No, no, I…” Akali sighed. “I’m really sorry, Kai’sa. That sounds awful.”

“Yeah.” Kai’sa ran her thumb nervously over the paper of the sandwich. “The worst part of this job is when you can’t help the people who need it most.”

“The judicial system is… pretty broken,” Akali shrugged. Her tongue felt too large in her mouth as she said it. “Not in the lawyers sense, necessarily, but… I don’t know. There's no system of rehabilitation. You’re shoving people who need help into a box to rot. They come out of it on the other side shattered, if they make it out at all.”

Kai’sa nodded slowly, and her eyes began to shine again, welling with fresh tears. Akali winced as she realised she absolutely wasn’t helping.

“God, sorry. Again. I’m really not saying the right things here.”

Kai’sa chuckled wetly and sniffed. A tear fell down her cheek and Akali longed to reach out and swipe it away.

“Look. Is your guy in there with you?”

Kai’sa nodded, and Akali got to work making a fresh sandwich.

“Here. For him, on the house. If he can’t eat it, tell him to come out here and I’ll make him something fresh.”

“Akali…” Kai’sa sounded relevant as she looked down at the sandwich Akali was holding out. “At least let me pay for it.”

“Hey, fuck that, absolutely not.” Akali pushed the sandwich into Kai’sa’s hands. “Go. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. I know you’re doing the best you can for him.”

The look in Kai’sa’s eyes was more than worth the price for the sandwich out of Akali’s pocket.

- - -

After that, Akali began to notice things about Kai’sa.

It was small things, at first.

She carried a comb on her at all times in her purse, often even in her hand, but her hair was still always a little frizzy, with stray strands pulled loose from her ponytail.

She had a small gap between her front teeth which showed whenever she grinned or laughed, and Akali wanted to make her smile every day for the rest of her life just to see it.

She was so put together it was almost maddening, but one day she came out to lunch with smudged eyeliner. It was such a tiny, insignificant detail, but it was warming to Akali and it brought heat to her cheeks.

One day, when Kai’sa reached out with a few dollar bills in her hand, Akali spotted the hints of a tattoo just peeking out from the sleeve of her jacket. It was only barely showing, without nearly enough detail to be able to guess what it might be, but suddenly she was itching to know.

Akali noticed how coarsely Kai’sa laughed, as if she hadn’t done it often and wasn’t quite used to it, yet. She laughed hard when she did open up, and once had to wipe a tear from the corner of her eye afterwards. Something in Akali cried out at the sight of it, but she pointedly stamped it down, hard. This was an attraction she didn’t need. She was used to rejection, but she didn’t want to lose what she had with Kai’sa. It was small, barely more than acquaintances, but it was hers.

Akali was territorial over what was hers, and she wanted to hold what she had with Kai’sa close to her chest and keep her grip on it tight. The idea of anyone wrenching it away from her made something ache horribly in her chest.

She once thought about writing her number onto the side of Kai’sa’s sandwich bag, but her hand froze before the pen could touch the paper. It shook as a chill took hold in Akali’s chest at the thought of rejection; of waiting for Kai’sa to call and it never coming, of seeing her the next morning and facing discomfort or outright rejection. It gripped her stomach so hard she thought she was going to be sick.

She’d handed Kai’sa’s sandwich to her with its bag unmarked, with her hand trembling, and prayed that Kai’sa hadn’t noticed.

In the end, Akali never knew if she had seen it. Not long after that, Kai’sa pulled back. Her face was shuttered and closed off, hidden behind a mask as she returned Akali’s umbrella to her the day after the rainstorm. She spoke with a tightly controlled politeness and that day, she didn’t come out to the food truck for lunch.

Akali didn’t see her at lunchtime for a while after that. Kai’sa kept her distance, only offering Akali a tight-lipped smile and a nod as she passed the truck on her way into work, and Akali could only embrace that familiar heartache she’d felt too many times, and accept it.

She’d known this was coming. It always did, in the end.

It hurt considerably to lose what they’d had. It was something so small and seemingly insignificant, but it had Akali slumped onto her bed at home, not feeling much of an appetite and snarling at Shen whenever he dropped a bowl of steaming soup onto her bedside and stared at her until she ate something.

She kept on a brave face in the truck, but she could see Shen shooting her concerned glances when he thought she couldn’t see. She was sure he and Kennan were worrying themselves sick about her, but really, there was nothing to be worried about.

Kai’sa had only proven what Akali already knew. She wasn’t worth her time, and it was better to keep her distance.

- - -

Things changed after she found Rengar.

The little kitten had a nasty upper respiratory infection by the time she found him and scooped him up. Shen had been reluctant at first, but Akali fixed him with a hard-fast, pleading stare, and asked him outright.

“Shen, please. I need this. I need to take care of him.”

Shen searched her face for a moment, his eyes darting around as if he was scanning for a tell - a tell of what, Akali wasn’t sure. Eventually, though, he sighed and nodded. They closed up shop for the day and Akali spent that afternoon in the vet’s office with a very unhappy kitten in her arms.

He grew warmer towards her as the day progressed, finding the woman who fed him preferable to the stranger who wanted to prod him with needles and thermometers. Akali couldn’t complain; she’d rather take him home after he’d realised she was a safe space rather than before.

They got some fluids into him and Akali was handed a round of antibiotics, and before long they were taking home their newest family member.

He was given a bath - which he hated, but most definitely needed - and a full meal given to him in slow increments, lest he eat too fast and throw it all back up.

“We’re keeping him,” Akali said preemptively when Kennan emerged from his office. He gave his children and the cat a brief glance over. Akali’s nerves mounted, her instinct to curl around the cat and snap at anyone who dared take him away flickering to life in her chest, but Kennan only knelt and gave the wary kitten a scratch behind the ears.

“Does he have a name?” Kennan asked, and Akali shook her head.

“I haven’t thought of one yet.”

They discussed it over a late dinner and discovered that none of them were particularly creative. Akali tilted her head back and lowered a pizza slice into her mouth, cheese stretch and all, while Shen and Kennan argued.

“We are not naming him after your bloody grandfather,” Shen complained.

“I’ve yet to hear you come up with any suitable ideas,” Kennan huffed and dabbed his cheeks with a napkin to clear away some smeared sauce. “I’d argue one should provide something of substance to the conversation before he shuts others down like that.”

“He’s right,” Akali mumbled through a mouthful of pizza. “That’s a dumb idea.”

Kennan huffed and most definitely began to sulk, but he said nothing more.

It was Shen who eventually came up with the idea, later that night while they were watching a movie. It was a name based on an old black and white movie he and Akali used to watch, about a man being hunted by a tiger after being stranded in the jungle. The man had nicknamed the beast Rengar, and the idea was so funny to Akali that she agreed immediately.

They’d gotten a new collar for him made the next day, and after that, Rengar was officially part of the family.

He was a rambunctious and fiery little thing; hissing indignantly if she so much as petted him a little too long and swiping his little claws at any dangling hairs or bits of clothing he could find. They bought him a collection of toys, and he would very happily spend hours tearing around the house after a little clump of feathers on a stick, or a little stuffed mouse at the end of a string.

He was a little ray of sunshine, and it helped. Alkali’s dark cloud began to clear, even though she missed her lunchtime chats with Kai’sa deeply. Seeing her the day she’d rescued Rengar had been bittersweet; relieving and warm to talk to her again, but with an underlying, thumping pain which Akali refused to recognise as heartache.

She’d made a pointed comment about how she could tell Kai’sa was avoiding her without so much as communicating why, but as soon as the words had left her mouth, a bitter taste leapt to her tongue and she turned her face away. A horrible nausea tightened around her windpipe, but Kai’sa luckily didn’t seem too upset.

In fact, a few days after she found the little cat in the gutter, she appeared in front of the food truck again as the day reached noon.

She wasn’t alone, this time; she arrived with two friends. They had their hands clasped together, and one of them - taller, with near-white purple hair and false nails so long they may as well have been claws - had her arm slung around Kai’sa’s shoulder.

“You’re a worrier, Bokkie,” she spoke, her words only just coming into earshot. Akali blinked at the nickname. Bokkie? She didn’t dare ask, though, only grateful that Kai’sa was here again, even if she hadn’t had the courage to come alone.

After that comment you made, I don’t blame her, she growled to herself. A dark cloud settled in the back of her mind, but she pulled on her customer service smile and headed to the counter.

“Hey. What can I get for you?”

The woman who wasn’t holding Kai’sa stepped forward to peer at the menu. She appeared to be a gumiho - not the first Akali had seen, but definitely rare. She didn’t comment on it, but she admired how her tails caught the sunlight.

“I’ll take a pulled pork sub, please,” she smiled and leaned back into the taller woman’s side.

“Nothing for me, thanks,” the taller woman stated, her voice strict but somewhat sultry. Akali fought back a flush at the low heat this stranger’s voice had sparked inside her, and moved on to catch Kai’sa’s eye.

She looked vulnerable, almost terrified, and Akali wanted to step back and put her hands up, as if to say I promise, I’m not going to hurt you. She’d say she didn’t bite, although the more depraved part of her mind gleefully reminded her that that wasn’t quite true. She stood hard on that thought and ground it into the curb.

Kai’sa took her time, dragging her eyes over the menu as if they were glazed. She knew the menu off by heart by now, Akali knew, so she could tell Kai’sa was just buying time. She waited patiently, but under the counter, her thumbs fiddled with each other to counteract her nerves.

“I’ll just take the mozzarella sticks,” Kai’sa eventually managed. Akali couldn’t help the smile that tugged at the corner of her mouth.

- - -

Kai’sa began coming back on her own after that, once again Akali’s most regular customer. It was like their falling out hadn’t happened, but they could both remember. Akali could see a hesitance behind Kai’sa’s smile, and hear a slight tremble when she spoke. She wanted to brush away Kai’sa’s fear and assure her that it was okay, but as much as she longed to take that step, a chain around her heart held her back.

She wasn’t stupid. She could see that their attraction was mutual. Kai’sa was put together and charismatic, smooth in how she spoke, but Akali could see her hands shaking as she walked away, and had caught Kai’sa practically drinking her in with her eyes before. She’d said nothing about it.

Akali said nothing because Kai’sa said nothing.

She had been turned away so many times, by so many people she’d loved, that she was more than expecting it by now. She’d already prepared the bandages to wrap up her wounded heart when she eventually lost Kai’sa’s friendship again. It was inevitable. It always happened to her.

Akali didn’t know what she did wrong, but eventually, she made some irreparable mistake which turned her friends away from her. She wasn’t worth the time when she moved away, and if she so much as opened up her feelings about what she’d experienced in her childhood, she feared she’d be scorned and abandoned again for the sin of letting people know her.

She didn’t know if it was her lack of fear of authority, or if she was just too fucking broken to be worth the effort, but she knew that if she took that step, Kai’sa would eventually turn away again. At least if she waited with bated breath and kept her mouth shut, she might get to know her for just a little longer.

She was lonely, and hurting, and she yearned like a ship lurching towards the sunlight, but she kept her heart closed. Kai’sa was worth more.

-

-

because i prayed this word:

i want

-

Akali

-

After a month passed, Akali had begun to accept that her and Kai’sa’s lives were destined to be this painful middle ground - never quite apart, but always separate. They had their lunch meets and morning greetings, but Akali had made peace with the fact that she would never have anything more.

They were friendly again, thank god, and after weeks of not hearing it, Akali finally got to know that lovely laugh again.

“I’m just saying!” she grinned as Kai’sa bent over, clutching her side and leaning against the truck. “It’s bullshit.”

“Oh, it is,” Kai’sa grinned, breathless, with the corner of her eyes shimmering from her mirth. She wiped the tears away, smudging her eyeliner a little. “I didn’t know you felt so strongly about fruit.”

“Oh, very strongly,” Akali smirked. She chuckled and pulled Kai’sa’s chicken from the deep fryer. “It’s a goddamn delicacy but it shouldn’t be that expensive.”

“Yes, perhaps,” Kai’sa grinned. “But enough to overthrow the government?”

“Fuck yeah,” Akali shovelled some roasted vegetables into a paper bag and handed Kai’sa her order. “Screw capitalism. Embrace anarchy.”

“Okay, Kali,” Kai’sa took her food through more fits of giggles. Unusually, she didn’t walk away right away. She leaned against the side of the truck with her food and looked up at the sky.

“You good?” Akali leaned down on the counter and rested a chin on her hand. Kai’sa’s mouth pulled into a smile and she nodded. She turned her head to look at Akali - not in the eyes, not quite, but instead studying her face.

“Do you remember a while back, I had a client I was worried about?”

“I do,” Akali said, carefully. She had no idea where this was going. Kai’sa didn’t look upset, but perhaps contemplative. She was a little difficult to read when she hid her emotions like this, even if Akali was generally decent at reading people.

“Rakan. We got him out,” Kai’sa said, her smile still small. “He’s had a few months of hell, but… he’s cleared. All charges.”

“Oh, holy shit,” Akali dropped her spatula and bounced on the balls of her feet. “Kai, that’s fantastic!”

“It’s great news,” Kai’sa sighed and looked back up at the sky. “I’m really glad. You can’t save everyone on this job, and not everyone you’re saving is entirely deserving, but… well. It’s nice to be able to help those who deserve it.”

“I can imagine,” Akali answered honestly. “I’m really glad to hear it. Congratulations.”

“It wasn’t just my victory, don’t get me wrong,” Kai’sa lifted her free hand, the other still clutching her bags of chicken and vegetables. “There was a whole team of us - Yasuo, Evelynn, Karma. We all fought hard.”

“And you won,” Akali added. Her cheeks hurt from how hard she was grinning, and she noted with a flicker of warmth that she hadn’t even realised how much she’d been smiling. Kai’sa always made her smile, but seeing her happy was the best thing she could ask for.

“And we won,” Kai’sa nodded. She looked tired, but her face was settled in contentment. Akali could recognise it clearer now she knew what was happening. She glanced around the truck, suddenly deciding it was urgent they celebrate.

“What are you looking for?” Kai’sa asked, curiosity lining her voice.

“Tut tut,” Akali shushed her with a raised hand behind her as she hunted through cupboards. “Gimme a sec.”

Kai’sa didn’t respond, and Akali was free to dig through cabinets until she found something suitable.

“Ahah,” she triumphantly held it up, and Kai’sa burst out laughing.

“Is that..?”

“Damn straight. Motherfuckin mango slices.” They were dried, kept in a drawer for those days when Akali needed a pick-me-up.

“You really do love your fruit.”

“I meant what I said!”

Akali split open the bag and offered it to Kai’sa. She took a few strips and popped one in her mouth. She nodded with a small hum of contentment.

“Mm. You were right. This is good.”

“Told you,” Akali popped a small handful in her mouth. “You like mango, right? I’m not just… forcing you to eat mango out of polite up-butt stickiness.”

Kai’sa snorted at that description and lifted a hand to cover her mouth.

“Don’t worry, I like mango.”

“Oh yeah? Good.” Akali leaned back over the counter and offered the bag to Kai’sa again, who took more of the fruit. “What’s your favourite?”

“Fruit?” After Akali nodded, Kai’sa furrowed her brow, contemplating. After a while, she settled on an answer and her face turned satisfied. “Peaches.”

“Oh, good choice,” Akali nodded in approval.

“God, I had the best peaches down when I lived in the Sai. Merchants there had the best produce sometimes.”

“Damn,” Akali scratched her jaw. “Sounds incredible. But hey, I didn’t know you lived in the Sai.”

“Yeah,” Kai’sa nodded, but her expression turned distant. “Yeah, I’ve lived in a lot of places. Born in Shurima, though. I just… wanted some time here, after I gained the independence to choose.”

“Right,” Akali nodded. She knew of the bitterness which came with frequent moving. She glanced down at her hands. “I’m from Ionia, you know.”

“Oh?” Kai’sa cocked her head. “So is Ahri, actually. The gumiho, I came out here with her a while back.”

“I remember,” Akali nodded.

“Do you miss it? Pretty far from home, all the way out here.”

“Eh,” Akali shrugged. “I loved my home when I had it. Ionia, it’s… it has its problems. Shen and I saw some of the worst parts of it growing up. I miss it, yeah, but it didn't hurt too bad when we had to leave.”

“I see,” Kai’sa nodded. They ruminated there for a moment, neither of them speaking, but the silence wasn’t uncomfortable. Kai’sa patted the counter lightly.

“Well, I’ll see you around. Thanks for the talk, Kali. And the mango.”

“Always,” Akali grinned, and her heart panged as it was a little too honest to bear.

- - -

“Akali, we’ve got to go!” Shen called across the apartment. Akali rolled her eyes and shook her hair out from the towel she’d wrapped it in.

“Five minutes! God damn!”

She tucked her leg beneath her on her bed and switched on her hair dryer. She pulled her comb through her freshly dyed hair, teasing out the knots left over from her shower and pulling them flat under the hot air.

It didn’t take her long for her hair to dry; it never had. Her hair was wild, but it wasn’t particularly thick - more feathery than anything else, with a mind of its own which she had just about learned to work with.

She’d abused her hair for years, trying various colours from a faded blue to a fiery red, but in recent times she’d let it grow back into her natural black. Something about her meeting with Kai’sa, though, and that steady pang in her chest which still hadn’t quite gone away, had her fingers itching to do something drastic.

She couldn’t afford another tattoo and she definitely didn’t want to cut her hair, so dyeing it was her best remaining option. It looked nice, too, she thought to herself as she turned her head this way and that in the mirror. The blonde streaks accentuated her eyes.

She pulled her hair back into its usual ponytail and hopped up to get into her nicer clothes.

It wasn’t a particularly special occasion, but on Fridays, their little family went out for ramen. Ramen at Jericho’s was the first meal they’d shared when they’d moved to Nashramae, and it was so good that they’d never even thought about trying it someplace else.

It was special to them, and they hadn’t missed it once. A soft smile spread across her face at the memories of how it all started, but Shen banged on her door, shaking her firmly out of her nostalgia.

“Kali! Come on!”

“Patience, fucker!” Akali snapped back at him and pulled on a dark cropped jacket. It wasn’t the most practical, but she liked it well enough. She opened the door, pushing it right into Shen and shoving him backwards. “I told you I’d be five minutes.”

“Right,” Shen eyed Akali’s new hair. “Something you wanna tell me? New developments, breakups I didn’t know about?”

“No,” Akali rolled her eyes and, after giving one last chin scratch to Rengar, who was napping happily on the sofa, shoved her hands into her pockets. She stormed across the living room and followed Kennan into the apartment complex hallway.

“You sure? No one I need to beat up?”

“No,” Akali chuckled. “Drop it, Shen. I can dye my hair without having gone through some horrendous trauma.”

Shen was a pain in the ass, but he was still her brother. They’d been through enough, seen each other hurt enough times, that they could joke about these things.

“All right,” Shen followed her with reluctance in his voice. “Whatever you say.”

Akali smirked.

“Yes, exactly, whatever Akali says. And Akali says drop it.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Shen elbowed her in the ribs and Akali launched back at him, grabbing him in a headlock. They both began to struggle and shove each other back and forth across the hall. After a minute or so, though, a cleared throat from Kennan broke up their wrestle.

“If you’re done, we might want to go ahead and try to make our reservation,” he said with an unamused raised eyebrow. Akali snorted and gave Shen one last bump with her shoulder.

“Bozo here started it.”

“Did not!”

- - -

“For the last time, I’m not gonna talk about it,” Shen, shaking his head, mumbled through a mouthful of half-chewed pork belly.

“I’m only saying that if you did want to go for another year, I’d support you,” Kennan waved a hand in the air. “There’s no pressure in offering.”

“There’s a bit of pressure,” Shen pointed out. He swallowed his food and swilled his noodles around with his chopsticks. “The fact you even think to offer shows me you think that’s what I want.”

“Well,” Kennan furrowed his brow. “Isn’t it? I thought you loved college.”

“I did,” Shen sighed. “But it didn’t work out.”

“I’m only saying that it might work out if you gave it another shot,” Kennan leaned forwards and rested a hand on Shen’s wrist. “Coming back… it broke you a little, I think. You haven’t been the same since.”

Shen scoffed and shoved another mouthful of noodles and pork into his mouth. He didn’t respond to that otherwise, only chewing as passive-aggressively as he could manage.

Akali didn’t speak. She watched the two of them with a heavy heart.

Shen had thrived in his training. Physical therapy was a very well-suited role for him. He’d learned about his love of health during their culinary training, and it was a role which meshed well with his spiritualistic side. He was a passionate carer and he loved helping people.

Physical therapy helped him tangibly help people in a way he could see. It boosted his wounded self-esteem and had begun to mend scars from their childhood, where he faced much of the same rejection as Akali, but something had happened in the final quarter of his second year.

He hadn’t said much about it and had told Kennan nothing, but from what Akali could gather, he’d grown close to another student who had manipulated him and broken his trust in himself. He’d set Shen up to fail, and for Shen, failure was nothing but proof that he was a failure of a man.

It had broken him, truly, but without knowing the context, Kennan could only read it as Shen got cold feet. Akali met Shen’s eyes with her own silent reassurance - she understood, it was okay, and he didn’t have to talk about it if he didn’t want to - and Shen’s expression softened.

He swallowed his food and sighed.

“I can’t go back yet. Maybe I will someday in the future, and I appreciate the support - a lot. A hell of a lot. I just… can’t, yet. I’m not ready.”

They sat in the quiet for a moment after that. Akali slowly blinked at Shen with her bowl raised to her lips so she could sip her broth. She was proud of him. She understood how difficult it was for him to talk about it.

Kennan’s gaze flickered around the table for a moment as he thought about it, but he eventually nodded and patted Shen on the wrist.

“Very well, my boy. You let me know if anything changes.”

Shen sent Kennan a bittersweet smile. Akali could see how much it meant to him, but Zed’s betrayal was still raw. She decided she was going to surprise him with a new bag of crystals later that week. They always made him light up and talk for hours about each one; the geological facts about the minerals themselves, and the supposed benefits for one’s mental health.

Akali didn’t believe in any of that, but she was happy that it made him happy. If she ever came face to face with Zed, he’d find out exactly what happened to someone who messed with a Tethi’s sibling.

She took another sip of broth, and promptly almost spit it out.

A large group was filing into the restaurant and being led to a large empty table - reserved, clearly. She recognised a few faces; the scary tall lady with claws and eyes which seemed to glow in the dark, the gumiho, and of course, in the middle, there was Kai’sa.

She was wearing a rather stunning top; cropped short, with no sleeves, but it reached up to her throat. It was sheer around her neck and clavicle, while the material around her ribs was opaque, with a patterned shine. She had a jacket, but it was slung over one arm, leaving her arms bare and her shirt the only top she had on.

It showed off her tattoo in full; a beautiful leaf vine, twining down her arm and ending on the inside of her wrist. Akali didn’t know enough about plants to work out exactly what it was - creeping ivy? A generic leafy plant? Either way, Akali thought it was beautiful.

It was elegant and honest, with just a hint of thorns, just like the rest of Kai’sa. God, Akali wanted to fucking devour her.

She fought to keep herself from losing her mouthful of broth. She forced herself to swallow and devolved into a coughing fit. She smacked her fist to her chest to dislodge whatever broth had gone down the wrong way, and her cheeks burned as she saw eyes turn to face her from all over the restaurant.

Shen clapped a hand against her back.

“You good, Kali?”

“Yep,” Akali groaned, her voice hoarse. “Just… surprised.”

Shen furrowed his brow and glanced around the restaurant. Upon spotting the group, he turned a questioning eye back to Akali. She pointedly ignored him and shovelled a mouthful of noodles into her mouth.

Akali could feel Kai’sa’s eyes on her. The coughing would have made her presence clear even if Kai’sa had still been over at the door, let alone only a few tables away. She didn’t look back, staring with extreme fascination at her ramen.

“That, uh,” Shen nudged Akali with his elbow. “That girl is staring at you.”

“Yep.”

“Pretty intently.”

“Uhuh.” Akali speared a strip of beef and chewed it carefully. She was not about to have another coughing fit with Kai’sa sitting a few feet away from her.

“Wanna tell me about it?” Shen glanced down at her and Akali shook her head.

“No.”

Shen went quiet for a moment, and Akali chewed on her lip. She sighed and corrected herself.

“Not right now, I mean. Not while she’s here.”

Shen nodded, satisfied with that. He went back to his noodles, and Akali stared at her broth as if it might sprout eyes and tell her to grow a pair.

Akali pinched the bridge of her nose and steeled herself before looking up. Her stare met Kai’sa’s, and she offered Kai’sa a feeble smile.

Kai’sa, seemingly horrified to have gotten caught watching her, snapped her gaze to her menu, which she was suddenly browsing with extreme interest. Akali huffed and couldn’t keep the grin from her face.

She was standing up and walking over before she could talk some sense into herself. The panic set in about halfway from her table to Kai’sa’s, and by the time she had stopped by Kai’sa’s side, her thoughts were all made up of incoherent screaming.

“Akali,” Kai’sa looked up at her. She was blushing, so hard the red was spreading from her cheeks down her neck. It was unbearably cute. Akali slipped into her cool facade, very much trying to ignore the table of lawyers all watching her curiously.

“Bokkie. I’ve never seen you in here before.”

“Yes, well,” Kai’sa blushed even more furiously as Akali brought out the nickname she’d overheard. “We’re, uh. Celebrating.”

“I had guessed,” Akali nodded. “Congratulations again. I’m really happy for you.”

Some of the fear left Kai’sa’s face at that and was replaced with genuine pride. She dipped her head.

“Thanks, Kali. I appreciate that.”

A man sitting just to the left of Kai’sa sent her a curious look, which spread into a smirk. He nudged her with his arm and raised an eyebrow, and at that, Akali saw Kai’sa’s body lock up.

Her expression shuttered, the only thing left in her eyes being terror. She clammed up and went stiff, and her breathing went shallow.

Akali glanced around the table with narrowed eyes.

People were watching either her or Kai’sa, and the man seemed not to realise how frightened Kai’sa looked. Akali rather felt like punching his lights out. Luckily, she wasn’t the only one, as the frightening woman with the claws kicked him under the table and sent him a seething glare. Kai’sa didn’t even seem to notice, now caught up in whatever spiral must have been happening in her mind.

Akali yearned to reach out and comfort her, but she knew that the last thing Kai’sa needed was more people touching her unexpectedly. She backed off a few steps, hoping that if she removed herself from the situation, Kai’sa could collect herself a little.

The biggest part of Akali hollowly wished she could take away Kai’sa’s panic. Selfishly, though, more than anything, Kai’sa’s sudden panic suggested something to Akali.

Kai’sa’s rejection, her sudden withdrawal and her weeks-long distancing effort, might not have been anything to do with Akali herself.

For once in her life, maybe she wasn’t the problem.

She hovered for a moment, digesting that revelation, before she looked back down at Kai’sa.

“I’ll see you around. Congrats again.”

She headed off without waiting for Kai’sa to respond. She didn’t need to. She looked half dissociated, as if she’d been caught out, and Akali knew enough to recognise when someone needed space. The scary lady stepping in on Kai’sa’s behalf was enough for Akali to be comfortable walking away and leaving her like that. It was clear that even though something was going on, Kai’sa was among friends she could trust.

Akali sat back down at her own table, ignoring the curious looks her family sent her, and ate the rest of her ramen in quiet contentment. When Kai’sa had relaxed enough to meet Akali’s gaze again, Akali sent her a warm grin, and with colour returning to her cheeks, Kai’sa returned it. Akali’s chest burst with light.

She knew what she was going to do.

-

-

while no voices chanted

choruses without ours

no woodlot bloomed in spring without song

-

Kai’sa

-

Meeting Akali in the ramen restaurant shucked Kai’sa from her relaxed little tree branch.

Yasuo hadn’t meant anything by leaning over to tease her about it, but as soon as he touched her, her vision narrowed to a tiny pinhole of black and white. Her hearing was filled with white noise, and a crushing tightness in her chest meant it was suddenly extremely difficult to breathe. It came on quickly, like a flash flood, and there was nothing Kai’sa could do to stop it from taking over her.

Evelynn chewed Yasuo out the second Akali left, but the pressure remained around Kai’sa’s ribs and a lump stayed in her throat for the rest of the night. Ahri and Evelynn could see there was something wrong. They took her home and as soon as they closed the door behind them, Kai’sa collapsed in a fit of hyperventilating.

They held her until she’d calmed down, coaxed her to drink a full glass of water, and left with gentle kisses pressed to her forehead. She wasn’t in any state to talk about it, and she was grateful they didn’t press her to.

Evelynn hesitated in the doorway before leaving, looking like she was deliberating on whether to say anything, but in the end, all she did was send Kai’sa a rare, comforting smile, and drift away.

Kai’sa slept poorly, stuck tossing and turning with the memory of her panic lingering like a shadow just behind her eyes, and when morning came, she was exhausted. She was used to getting into bed early when she had the chance and even when she had a night out, she made sure she was in bed by at least two and had a solid six hours of sleep to get her ready for the day.

If she had to estimate that morning, she grumbled to herself as she roused herself and pulled on the nearest fresh outfit, she’d barely managed two hours.

Her temples were pounding and her eyes ached with heaviness as she tried not to nod off on the bus. She needed a goddamn coffee.

The walk seemed to stretch on for miles, even though it was only a short few minutes in reality. The ground seemed more solid than usual, rocking her up from below her feet, and her mouth felt dry and scratchy.

“You better not be getting sick,” she warned herself. She kicked the ground, annoyance bubbling over and simmering like nausea low in her stomach. She supposed it wouldn’t be unusual after the hellish few months they’d had trying to save Rakan. Even without feeling an obligation to help Xayah - she’d been completely shattered when her husband had been arrested in the first place - Kai’sa had known Rakan was innocent, and it killed her. Every second he spent incarcerated felt like an extra hot needle being laid down on her skin.

The adrenaline finally dissipating now, knowing he was free as he should be, certainly could have left her immune system looking a little worse for wear.

It was a stressful, horrible, heartbreaking job at times, Kai’sa had to admit it. Akali had been right those months ago - the judicial system was broken. There were far too many people wrongfully imprisoned, and far too many people who needed rehabilitation most walked free to torment others. It was tooth-grindingly frustrating a lot of the time, and some days, Kai’sa hated it.

Those other days, though, when she could help an innocent person to wrestle free from being scammed out of thousands, or she could advise a startup on how best to proceed with their dream business idea which actually had a chance of succeeding… It made it worth it. It was worth it to see things like Rakan finally getting to hold Xayah again after months of their separation. It was worth it to see Xayah, her face streaming and her cheeks stained with tears, kissing Rakan all over his face and promising him in a shaking voice that he was finally going to be okay.

Kai’sa sighed and rubbed her eyes. They were stinging more and more the longer she kept herself awake without caffeine. She needed to get inside to the firm’s blessed, miracle coffee machine as soon as she could.

She glanced over at the food truck as she strode towards the firm doors. It was there and open, as always, and she could see Akali inside. Instead of simply exchanging their usual smile and nod, however, Akali waved Kai’sa over and called out to her.

“Kai! C’mere.”

Kai’sa faltered in her steps and wandered over, unsure of what to expect and definitely a little bit anxious. Some invisible line had been crossed the night before, but she couldn’t quite put a finger on what it was. Akali looked off, her eyes wide and cheeks red, but she was still smiling.

“What’s up?” she asked. Her voice was hoarse and cracked a little, but she was too tired to give it much notice. Akali’s flush darkened at the sound of it, though, which Kai’sa immediately determined she was not going to over-analyse.

“Here,” Akali pushed a cup into Kai’sa’s hand. It was warm and when Kai’sa lifted it to give it a sniff, rich coffee wafted back at her. She groaned in relief.

“Oh, my god. My hero.”

“I figured you might have a hangover,” Akali chuckled. “Thought it might help.”

“I don’t, really,” Kai’sa admitted. “But oh my god. I am so tired. Thank you.”

She began to reach into her pockets to grab some money for Akali, but the food truck tender reached out to gently stop her arm.

“Hey. It’s on me.”

Kai’sa paused and glanced up at her. Maybe it was because she was exhausted, or emotionally wrecked from her panic attack the night before. Maybe it was the relief of getting Rakan free. Maybe it was a combination of all of it. Whatever it was, though, Akali’s small gesture made a comforting glow flicker to life in Kai’sa’s chest. Her eyes prickled and she blinked hard to fight back the wave of emotion which battered her.

“... Thank you.”

Akali smiled, some of the uncertainty leaving her face. Her eyes crinkled and she patted Kai’sa’s arm before leaning back.

“Take care of yourself, Kai.”

Kai’sa took a heavy swig of the drink and headed into the firm. It was freshly made - not boiling, but still hot. Akali must have judged when she was going to arrive, and she did a damn good job. It was just how Kai’sa liked it.

She’d ordered a coffee from the food truck a couple of times; not enough that Kai’sa would have expected Akali to remember how she took it, but apparently, her friend was more attentive than Kai’sa had anticipated. It only redoubled the warmth in her chest.

She sighed in contentment as the coffee breathed some life back into her weary bones, and took a fond look at the cup in her hand.

In a moment, she stopped dead in her tracks and almost dropped it.

On the label, Akali had written a phone number.

- - -

“Ahri!” Kai’sa nearly whined as she speed-walked over to her coworker’s desk. The gumiho cocked an ear in Kai’sa’s direction and looked up at her, eyebrow cocked with curiosity.

“Kai?”

Kai’sa collapsed into the chair on the other side of Ahri’s desk and pushed the coffee cup towards her.

“Help,” she pleaded pathetically. Ahri scanned the cup and her eyes widened a fraction at the writing on the label.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh! What do I do with this?”

Ahri hesitated for a moment and ran a thumb over the number inked on the coffee cup. She chewed on her lip for a moment and pulled a lock of her dyed-blonde hair behind her shoulder.

“Well… the way I see it, you have two options.”

“Yeah?” Kai’sa looked up at Ahri. Her heart pounded so hard it felt like it might reverberate clean out of her chest. The butterflies living inside her had swarmed to cling to it as soon as she saw the number on the cup, and their wings were beating like a thundering drum.

“Option one,” Ahri tapped a finger on the lid of the cup. “You ignore it. Pretend you didn’t see it, or tell her you’re not interested right now.”

That didn’t feel like a good option. Kai’sa could already see the crushed look in Akali’s eyes if she turned her down. It’s not like she wanted to, either, but fear clung to her as if it were long grass, wet after a storm, clutching any who tried to struggle through.

Ezreal, you really fucked me up, Kai’sa mourned. She hid her face in her arms, slumped over on Ahri’s desk, and Ahri chuckled.

“Yeah. Option two… you take it. You text her.”

Kai’sa whimpered, and Ahri’s chuckle redoubled.

“Oh, woe is you,” she cooed and patted the back of Kai’sa’s head. “This is a good thing, darling.”

“Oh, really?” Kai’sa sarcastically glowered up at Ahri. “I was fine the way things were. This complicates things.”

“Sweetie, you’d stay in limbo forever if you could,” Ahri scolded, her voice still gentle. “You need to take a step sometime. It’s been months. You need to decide what you want, and stop playing with this girl’s heart.”

Kai’sa paused and flicked her eyes down to the coffee cup still under Ahri’s fingertip. She chewed on the inside of her cheek and weighed the options in her mind.

God, she never wanted to hurt Akali. Every part of her wanted to see her light up and smile. It was her favourite sight.

The thought of trusting someone again, though, only made her remember flashes of a warm hand leaving hers, the echo of his voice as he stormed away saying “It’s just too much for me to handle, Kai’sa.”

The bastard. He’d wrung her heart out to dry and ground it into the dirt as he left. It still bore the scars, his bootprint firmly where her trust used to be. The memory brought weight to the centre of her chest and formed a lump in her throat.

Kai’sa bit down harder on her cheek and buried her face in her arms again. Ahri ran her fingers through Kai’sa’s ponytail, straightening it out.

“Think about it. Those are your choices.”

Kai’sa stayed there, wishing very much that the world could stop so she could get off it for a while and breathe. She cowered, ignoring how Ahri’s desk was far from a subtle hiding place. Ahri made it safe enough, for now.

“I’m so scared of getting hurt again,” she gasped. The lump in her throat was suffocating. Ahri gently shushed her, her hand now rubbing comforting circles into her back.

“I know.”

“If that does happen,” Evelynn’s voice emerged from where she’d been lurking a few feet behind Ahri’s desk. “We’ll end her.”

“Thanks, Eve.” The words weren’t much of a comfort. Even after all the pain he caused her, Kai’sa wished no harm on Ezreal - a sentiment not shared by Ahri and Evelynn. They wouldn’t really hurt him (at least, Ahri wouldn’t), but they certainly took the chance to threaten him whenever he came up in conversation.

He’d been her first love. She was freshly independent, new to law school and working hard, and he’d swept her off her feet. He was the sweetly handsome charmer of an archaeology student, passionate about his dreams, and kind-hearted.

He was warm, caring, and gentle when Kai’sa needed it. He gave the best hugs and he was there whenever she had a meltdown. When she realised her identity and broke down over it, though, his patience had reached its tether. Kai’sa hadn’t even known he was growing tired. He’d said nothing until it was too much for him to bear, and when he left, he left brutally. He left her a bloodied wreck of a broken heart on the pavement.

It had made a brutal realisation all the more difficult, and Kai’sa had never quite picked up all the pieces he’d shattered her into. If she questioned herself seriously, she didn’t think she could go through that kind of heartbreak again.

“Hey,” Evelynn murmured, closer now. She pulled up a chair beside Kai’sa and leaned over the table, resting her chin on her elbows next to Kai’sa’s miserably slumped form. “You can do this, you know. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for.”

“I don’t think that’s true,” Kai’sa whispered, her voice hoarse. Evelynn’s eyes softened and she shook her head, the movement minute but visible.

“Darling, you’ve come so far. You like this girl. Give her a chance to prove she’s worth trusting.”

Kai’sa shivered at the thought. She looked up at the coffee cup again. The sharpied number burned a hole in her retinas.

The fear was crushing, blinding. It formed a dark cloud behind Kai’sa’s eyelids and pressed the weight of a mountain into her back.

Akali was a light in that dark, however. Even as Kai’sa’s heart seized in terror at the thought, she decided that perhaps, trusting her would be worth it.

- - -

Kai’sa 18:52

Hey! It’s Kai’sa. I just wanted to reach out after this morning’s coffee. Here’s hoping I read the number right.

Unknown 19:02

hey kai. didnt think my handwriting was that bad ;)

Kai’sa 19:02

Oh shit

No no

Sorry I didn’t mean it like that

Akali <3 19:03

hey hey relax

only kidding

im glad you messaged

Kai’sa 19:04

That was MEAN

Akali <3 19:04

😂 do you even know me by now

Kai’sa 19:04

Fair enough.

So, how are you doing? How was work?

Akali <3 19:05

you were there for the most interesting parts

not a lot happens on a food truck on a random weekday tbh. lunch rush is the most action we see

Kai’sa 19:07

I’m sorry to hear that. I hope you weren’t too bored.

Akali <3 19:10

nah. was spending most of that time worried about how youd take my gift tbh 😂

Kai’sa 19:12

Aw, Kali, you were nervous about me? I’m almost tempted to think you like me.

Akali <3 19:20

careful, princess. i have a scary loner persona to uphold

Kai’sa 19:21

Ah, yes, you’re very frightening.

Akali <3 19:21

dont believe me?

Kai’sa 19:21

I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Akali <3 19:22

sure, sure. you working tomorrow?

Kai’sa 19:22

Of course.

Akali <3 19:25

good. ill see you at lunch :) 

Kai’sa 19:26

:) 

-

-

the moon has set

and the pleiades

midnight

i lie in bed alone

-

Kai’sa

-

Two months later

- - -

Ping!

Kai’sa jumped to answer her phone as she heard the text arrive. She fumbled, nearly dropping the phone in her rush to snatch it from the otherwise quiet cafe’s table. Ahri chuckled and shook her head.

“Useless gay.”

“Leave me alone,” Kai’sa mumbled, but she wasn’t offended as she swiped to open up her conversation with Akali. It was true, really. Even though her relationship with Akali hadn’t really progressed since they’d started texting - it was still painfully, frustratingly platonic - they were now texting more often than they weren’t.

As much as Kai’sa loved helping people, busy desk work could be horribly boring, and it was a nice little highlight to her day when the screen lit up with a selfie from Akali, in a bored slump over the food truck’s counter as she waited for their next customer.

In the evenings, Akali sometimes sent over videos of Rengar playing. Kai’sa played them over and over, definitely a little because the little cat was adorable, but mostly because she loved to listen to Akali’s soft giggles in the background. It felt soft, almost domestic. Kai’sa missed hearing her voice when Akali wasn’t around.

Neither of them could pluck up the courage to make a move, even though it was extremely obvious they both wanted to. Kai’sa was sure they’d get there; it was inevitable at this point, and maybe it always had been. For now, they were making do, and it was enough.

“What’s she saying now?” Yasuo asked with a raised eyebrow and a grin. He and Kai’sa hadn’t talked about how he’d set her off in the restaurant, but he’d seemed to understand nonetheless. Maybe Evelynn or Ahri had talked to him about why and how he’d set her off, so Kai’sa wouldn’t need to make the uncomfortable move to set those boundaries herself.

Yasuo had taken the initiative. He kept his teasing to private spaces, and never mentioned anything in front of Akali herself. Kai’sa was grateful for the effort he was putting in to make her more comfortable.

“Not much, honestly,” Kai’sa answered honestly, but she still couldn’t help her grin. It felt goofy, and almost definitely looked it, but she couldn’t help it. Hearing from Akali, even if it was something as mundane as needing to clean her washing machine because it was starting to smell a little, sent sparks to flicker around in her chest and dance with her near-permanent butterfly companions.

“God, you are a useless gay. Look at you.” Evelynn grinned from where she sat next to Ahri, one arm slung over the gumiho’s shoulders. Kai’sa didn’t have it in her to fight back. Ahri was right. Whether or not Kai’sa could say the word, she loved Akali. The tiniest things meant everything with them. They didn’t even need to talk.

Quite often during lunch breaks, now, if there was nobody else around, Kai’sa would just lean against the truck and eat her food. If it was a really quiet day, Akali could make herself something and join Kai’sa outside the truck. They’d eat in the sunshine, quietly enjoying each other’s company, and words weren’t necessary. They were just content in each other’s space.

Kai’sa’s hands itched to reach for her. She longed desperately to get to hold her, but she wasn’t quite there, yet. She wasn’t so naive to deny that her feelings were mutual at this point. Akali gave her her number and they’d been texting nearly non-stop since then.

Akali sent her reminders to drink water throughout the day - Kai’sa didn’t need them, as she always carried around a glass or bottle of water and drank it almost as a stim, but they were appreciated nonetheless.

Akali had once texted Kai’sa asking if she was free. She was clearly tense. When Kai’sa picked up the phone, Akali was on her way home from a night out, and paranoid that a man was following her. Without a moment’s hesitation and staying on the phone, Kai’sa left her apartment and went to meet her. There was a man behind Akali, indeed, several paces away, but he’d fallen back and disappeared shortly after Kai’sa arrived.

Kai’sa had walked Akali home, and Akali had called an Uber for Kai’sa to get back so she wouldn’t need to walk home by herself, either. It hadn’t hit her until later that Akali had called her, and not her brother.

Once, in an incident which still made Kai’sa’s eyes burn with the threat of tears, Akali had driven the food truck to pick Kai’sa up from the stop, when the city buses were delayed due to some sewage incident on the other side of town. She’d risked losing her precious truck space for the day just to make sure Kai’sa wasn’t late.

It was such a gentle gesture; so unnecessary, but endlessly kind. It was so easy for them to be kind to each other. It came as easily as breathing, even as Kai’sa’s skin bristled with nearly everyone else and she found herself more likely to snap or scowl at them to defend herself rather than open her barriers and accept affection. With Akali, she could take it like it was second nature, and if she ever struggled, Akali never judged her for it.

Her chest panged. Kai’sa couldn’t put a word on why, exactly. Her emotions were building up and overflowing, a little, but it wasn’t a bad thing. She began to jog her leg, shaking the table a little, but she needed to stim and her choices were shake the table or bite something, probably. She figured a little vibration would be less conspicuous.

The conversation moved on from Kai’sa from there, luckily. Yasuo had bought himself a larger apartment and was in the process of moving, and Ahri was trying to plan a day they could all go over and help him with the move. Kai’sa didn’t have a car and almost never had any plans in the evening, so she would be going along mostly as an extra pair of arms and she couldn’t contribute much to the conversation.

As such, she fell into texting Akali while idly listening to the plans being made.

Kai’sa 20:24

I miss you

Akali <3 20:24

damn, embarrassing for you

gayass

Kai’sa 20:25

Ha, ha.

I’ll refrain from any and all affection in the future, shall I?

Akali <3 20:25

no come back :(

why must i pay for my actions

Kai’sa stifled a giggle, and waved an apology as Ahri glanced over at her. The gumiho shrugged and got back to hammering out the specifics of the move, and Kai’sa went back to texting.

Kai’sa 20:26

I suppose I can forgive you, if it means that much to you

Akali <3 20:26

:)

hey btw

whens your birthday

it’s soon right?

Kai’sa bit her lip. She’d mentioned it once, weeks back, since she needed to get a head started on planning things. The law firm nearly always arranged something for people in the office and Kai’sa hated surprises. She much preferred private celebrations with her friends, but the downside to those is that they needed to be planned. She didn’t mind planning too much, but she had so much on her plate that by the time evenings rolled around, she tended to be too worn out to want to think about it.

Kai’sa 20:28

It’s next Friday, actually

Why do you ask?

Akali <3 20:28

>:0 so soon

you should have told me

Kai’sa 20:29

I just did! What are you planning? You’re acting suspicious

Akali <3 20:29

me, suspicious? never >:3

Kai’sa 20:30

You literally just used the “>:3” emote unironically

I’ll just keep asking

Akali <3 20:30

fiiiine

we should celebrate it! have you got anything planned?

Kai’sa 20:31

Not yet. To be honest, I’ve been dreading thinking about it.

Nothing against birthdays, I’m just tired lately

Akali <3 20:31

got it.

and uh

what about…….

if someone arranged it FOR you

no surprises or anything, i know you hate those

Kai’sa’s heart rate picked up a little and her breath caught.

Kai’sa 20:32

I couldn’t ask you to do that. I usually book a table at a bar or something for a small group - Ahri and her group like to come with

Akali <3 20:33

pff

easy as piss

Kai’sa 20:33

Charming.

Akali <3 20:33

you love it <3

now

which bar do you like and how many do you want there? i’ll sort it

i will NOT have your birthday come and go without celebration

Kai’sa swallowed hard. It felt scandalous to ask, like some massive inconvenience she was dropping on Akali, as if Akali wasn’t blatantly asking for it. She glanced up at her friends, who were still deeply absorbed in their discussions about how many cars they had and how much they could fit in each one. She looked back at her phone, heart buzzing in her chest as if it was screaming, and sent Akali the information.

After a few minutes, she received a screenshot of the booking confirmation email. She bit back a grin, and sent Akali a barrage of heart emojis, accompanied by a single bursting confetti cannon. She couldn’t find the words to thank her better right then. Akali only sent her a wink and a single heart in response.

Kai’sa had to fight herself not to squeal and clutch the phone to her chest.

God, she really was a useless gay. There was no denying it.

- - -

The days flowed by quickly, and before Kai’sa knew it, she was standing in front of a shop window with Ahri, trying on dresses for her party. They had exactly a day to pick something; work and Yasuo’s move had kept them busy, but Ahri was not about to let Kai’sa weasel out of picking something new. Kai’sa didn’t care particularly about reusing old formalwear, but Ahri had standards.

“That one does look gorgeous on you,” Ahri cocked her head. “The green one had more cleavage.”
“Thanks,” Kai’sa mumbled with her cheeks heating. She turned her body this way and that, examining herself in the mirror. This dress was red, tight in the upper body with a billowing skirt. She shook her head and craned back behind herself to unzip it. “Not this one.”

“Too much?”

“Too much.”

She shimmied out of it and got it back on the hanger, before flicking through the armful of other options they’d picked out.

They’d chosen Ahri’s dress first. In true Ahri fashion, it was gorgeous, glittery and iridescent, with a gradient into dark blue into near black down the sleeves. It was tight fitting, but had a gap in the back which let her tails spill out freely without needing a professional alteration. It suited her well. She always looked stunning at events like these, but Kai’sa… well, Kai’sa preferred something more low-key. Even when the event was technically about celebrating her, she didn’t want to stand out.

She took a look through her selection. In theory, these should all be something subtle but still sexy. She had absolutely no reason for wanting to accentuate her curves at this party, thank you very much, but they were definitely a step up from her past years’ choices.

She wasn’t sure how to pick between things which were all a little further out of her comfort zone, but she knew that it would pay off when she could find the right dress.

She wasn’t expecting anything, of course, but she was looking forward to showing off if only so she could see Akali’s face on the night.

She picked up a mustard yellow dress next, floor-length and flowing, like a summer dress meeting a more formal evening dress. It was beautiful, with bobbling lace running down the skirt and some ruffling in the front. Kai’sa ran her hands down her waist and squinted as she examined it.

“Thoughts?” she asked Ahri, tilting her head. Ahri walked up closer, brows furrowed.

“Hmm… It’s pretty.”

“There’s a but in there,” Kai’sa commented, and Ahri nodded.

“Mm. I’m not sure the colour’s quite right.”

“Yeah, I think I agree,” Kai’sa hummed. “I like the shape, but it doesn’t look quite right.”

“Onto the next, then.”

More options came and went just like that. A sage green shorter dress which showed off her legs but felt far too revealing and chilly. A white pantsuit which Kai’sa loved, but didn’t feel was quite right for this kind of party. A bicolour dress, deep scarlet with black jetting through it in sharp patterns - beautiful, but far too expressive when Kai’sa didn’t want to stand out. A black lace dress with windows, sexy but far too revealing.

In the end, Kai’sa knew her pick as soon as she put on the right dress. It was a deep navy blue, matching well with the teal streak in her hair and hugging her curves. Tiny silver sparkles littered down the dress, giving the illusion of a night sky. It hugged her curves, slim fitting at the top, but past her waist, it loosened into a looser, layered skirt. It wasn’t too loose, staying fairly tight-fitting the entire way down, but the layers of tulle beneath the main skirt’s fabric kept the skirt wrinkle-free and free while she moved.

The dress dipped low in the front, revealing some cleavage, but swooped up into sleeves which dipped to halfway down her forearms.

As soon as she put it on, Kai’sa and Ahri both made a low humming noise. They glanced at each other in the mirror and nodded.

“That’s stunning,” Ahri smiled, and Kai’sa chuckled as she ran a hand over her stomach.

“Yeah. Damn right, it is.”

“That’s the one.”

“Yeah,” Kai’sa was shameless as she cocked out her hip, pulling a sexy pose. Akali was going to lose her shit. Perfect. “This is the one.”

- - -

Kai’sa walked to the bar when it was time for her party. Her apartment was too close to justify getting a taxi; it was a ten-minute walk at most, and it was a nice evening. The sun was just setting and some stars were just blinking into visibility in the opposite side of the sky.

Kai’sa’s stomach was in knots, coiling itself tighter and tighter into an anxious rat king. She was lying to herself and claiming she had no idea why, but deep down, she knew it was because she wanted to make a good impression for Akali.

She pouted at herself as a lurking sense of cringe peered into the back of her mind. She forcefully shoved it aside. It was just her anxiety trying to convince her to turn around.

She was no idiot and it was clear now that their attraction was mutual. Sue her for wanting Akali to show it, for once.

Kai’sa looked damn good, and it was her birthday. She deserved to be appreciated a little.

Kai’sa gathered her things and pawed through her purse to find her ID so she could be let into the bar. Her hand was sweaty but she gripped her card with ferocity. It gave her something to focus on as her anxiety redoubled, the spark of her nerves catching and becoming a blazing forest fire.

She was nodded into the bar and slipped inside. It was darker in there even in the evening light outside; street lamps had kept it brightly illuminated, and Kai’sa had to squint until her eyes adjusted to the dimness.

She glanced around the room. She tried to be early to these events, but she’d been a little slower than usual since she’d been fighting against her own anxiety for most of the walk. Her heart hammered against her ribs. It felt like it was screaming and throwing itself against the bars of its cage, trying to convince Kai’sa to turn and flee, but she put her foot down. Akali had arranged this for her. She wasn’t going to let her down, no matter how much her stomach tightened with fear.

She spotted Ahri first. It was hard not to; the gumiho stood out in a crowd with her billowing, neatly combed tails and sparkling dress. She was standing with a small crowd; it looked like Kai’sa was nearly the last one there. Kai’sa could make out Ahri, Evelynn, Yasuo, and an old university friend of hers, Taliyah, but she couldn’t figure out anyone else in the murky bar lighting. Damn atmosphere. I’d rather be able to see properly.

The bar wasn’t too busy, but Kai’sa weaved around bodies to reach her group. She rested a hand on Ahri’s shoulder as she wriggled her way into the group, and a chorus of pleased greetings reverberated around the circle.

Kai’sa grinned at her friends and swept her eyes around the group, but she froze in her tracks as she spotted Akali.

She stood on the opposite side of the group - hidden from where Kai’sa had been standing earlier. She was in a suit, black, with sleeves pinned up so they ended around her elbow. She stood in a confident slouch, leaning back against a booth wall, with her hands shoved into her pockets. Her blazer hung open, revealing a form-fitting vest and a dress shirt with its top buttons left undone. Her pants were straight-legged but loose, and she had shining dress shoes on underneath. She looked ravishing.

Akali looked slack-jawed, looking Kai’sa up and down with a vivid hunger visible in her eyes, but Kai’sa was too preoccupied to take in the expression she’d been looking forward to so much.

She’d been so focused on making herself look good, making herself irresistible, that she’d completely overlooked the possibility that Akali might do the exact same damn thing.

The two’s eyes met after a silent moment, and an understanding passed between them. They understood what they’d done, and what they were going to get out of it. They’d both gone into it like it was a challenge, came head to head, and they were both competitive. From that moment on, it was game on. Touché.

Once the last stragglers had arrived - Rell, Quinn, and Sona, more university friends, and Sona’s partner, Ekko - they shuffled into their booth and ordered their first round of drinks.

“Should we get some nachos for the table?” Rell asked with a sparkle in her eye, and Kai’sa laughed.

“It would be a crime if we didn’t.”

It was a good idea. The bar’s cocktail selection was deceptive, and it didn’t take much for the fruity drinks to get you pissed drunk. The nachos would probably help soak some of it up and stagger the evening.

Kai’sa ordered a pornstar martini. She didn’t love the prosecco shot on its own - she wasn’t so much a fan of prosecco on its own and thought it tasted a little like nail polish - but the cocktail itself was delicious. She threw back the shot and chased it with a mouthful of the main drink, but she couldn’t keep herself from wincing, much to her friends’ amusement, as evident by the ripple of giggles which circled the table.

Kai’sa made eye contact with Akali as the taste faded and she could pull her face free from its grimace. Akali had ordered a Manhatten; not to Kai’sa’s taste, but she took a steady sip as she stared at Kai’sa through low-lidded eyes.

It was a brazen look, bolder than Kai’sa was used to seeing, and it made her cheeks burn. She cleared her throat and broke the eye contact. She needed another drink before she could handle that.

Another cocktail came and went - a piña colada this time - and soon, Kai’sa was thrumming with a pleasant buzz. Her cheeks burned now with gentle confidence, and as she lifted the glass to finish off the last of her second drink, she took the chance to look over at Akali again.

Akali’s arms rested on the table, one hand following the pattern of the wood’s knots and the other holding the edge of her own empty second glass. She’d stuck with a Manhatten for her second, and her cheeks were a little flushed, too.

Kai’sa met her eyes. Akali leaned back in the booth chair, cocked her head a little, and quirked the corner of her mouth into a wry grin. Kai’sa bit her lip and dragged her eyes down. Akali leaving her top buttons undone gave Kai’sa a little peek at her cleavage, and her pose was achingly confident, almost inviting. It was extremely tempting.

People were getting tipsy now - nothing too drunk, as nobody wanted a hangover, but just enough to let loose a little. Taliyah pulled Quinn up onto the dancefloor and soon, Sona followed with Ekko at her side.

The chatter fell from group laughs into little individual conversations between smaller groups. Ahri had fallen back into discussing Yasuo’s move - he’d been woefully unprepared for some things that came with a new place, and Ahri, unphased as always, was happy to take charge until they could sort it out.

It left Kai’sa and Akali to their own company. Kai’sa flicked her eyes back up to Akali’s face from where she’d still been ogling how fucking good she looked in her suit. Akali flicked her eyebrows up and gestured with her head towards the dancefloor.

“Honour me?”

“Why, Akali,” Kai’sa chuckled. “One might suggest you’re trying to proposition me.”

“We’ll see,” Akali shrugged. She got to her feet and offered Kai’sa her hand. “Dance with me, Kai’sa.”

Her name sounded so pretty coming from Akali’s lips. Kai’sa took Akali’s hand and ran her thumb over her knuckles before she stood and followed Akali onto the dancefloor.

It was a little more crowded up here; definitely warmer, and people were lost in their own dancing in every direction. Kai’sa didn’t care. They were faceless, nearly invisible to her. All she could focus on was the warm, calloused hand holding hers, and Akali’s poise as she led them into a decent spot.

She didn’t let go of Kai’sa’s hand. As soon as they found a reasonable spot, Akali turned and pulled her close, and rested her other hand on Kai’sa’s waist.

“Are you enjoying your birthday?” she asked in a low voice as she began to sway. It was subtle dancing, keeping up with the beat but not so energetic that her voice was thrown off. Kai’sa matched her sway, bouncing a little in time with the music. She flashed Akali a grin and nodded.

“This is perfect. Thank you for organising this.”

“Nothing to thank me for,” Akali gave Kai’sa’s waist a light squeeze. Kai’sa shivered, and rested her free arm on Akali’s shoulder, not quite wrapping it around, but holding her near at least in spirit.

“I beg to differ,” Kai’sa traced a circle on Akali’s hand with her thumb. “I was stressed about it. You took it out of my hands like it was nothing. It was kind of you.”

“Kind? No,” Akali stepped closer. “More like instinct. There was no question about it.”

“Kali…” Kai’sa breathed.

Akali said nothing. She glanced over Kai’sa’s face. Her eyes fixed on her lips, and Kai’sa’s heart rate jumped, even with the confidence her slight buzz was lending her.

“You give me so much,” she said with a cracking voice. “I’d hate for you to wake up one day tired of me.”

“That could never happen,” Akali murmured, her voice hoarse and barely audible over the music. “Not when it’s us. Not when it’s you.”

Kai’sa shivered. She leaned closer, and Akali moved her hand from Kai’sa’s waist to grab her shoulder. She made to pull Kai’sa down, to slam their lips together, but halfway through the movement she froze. Her eyes widened with panic, too fearful to finish what she’d started, and they were left with an inch of space between their lips.

She’d frozen, convincing herself that even now, she was overstepping.

Here, on the precipice with years of heartache behind her and only Akali in front of her, Kai’sa’s reservations fell away. She leaned in and pressed their lips together, finally, finally, finally.

Akali whimpered into her mouth and they melted together, moulding themselves to fit against the other’s body, or perhaps simply discovering how they’d fit this perfectly all along. They slotted together like two separate halves of a whole.

It was a soft kiss at first. It was a confession, it was both of their painful pasts being passed forward to balance between them. They were both handing off their batons and laying their hearts bare, and for the first time since Ezreal, Kai’sa believed that maybe love wouldn’t break her.

The kiss didn’t stay that innocent for long.

Akali’s tongue probed for an entry point, and Kai’sa opened her lips to let her in. It became heated, heavy with intent, and before long, a fire was bursting to life between her legs. It was probably rude to leave in the middle of her own party, but she was feeling about ready for Akali to fuck her senseless. Kai’sa didn’t love penetration, but if it was Akali, she’d be quite happy to bend over and let Akali rail her into oblivion.

Oh, fuck.

She broke off the kiss and looked into Akali’s lust-blackened eyes. She knew that hers would look just as dark.

“My place?” she asked with a coarse voice. Akali looked like she might shatter if Kai’sa ever let go of her. She nodded, chasing Kai’sa’s lips for another kiss.

“Jesus Christ, please .”

-

-

in the crooks of your body

i find my religion

-

Akali

-

They burst through the door to Kai’sa’s apartment like a tidal wave. They were a heaving, heated mess, moving as one. Kai’sa led her as Akali stumbled through the dark of the apartment; they were too worked up to even pause to flick on the lights.

“Nice place,”  Akali commented, saying it with every intention of genuinely complimenting Kai’sa, but her voice came out reedy and hoarse, thick with her desperate desire. Kai’sa chuckled in response, and the sound sent shock waves directly where the sun didn’t shine.

“Hm, I’m glad you think so. Hopefully, you think so when you can see it in the daylight, too.”

Kai’sa leaned down to kiss down Akali’s throat as she pulled her through the doorway into her bedroom. Sparks flew with every brush of Kai’sa’s lips against her skin, and Akali’s breath hitched as Kai’sa ran her tongue over her pulse point. She tilted her head back to give Kai’sa more access and reached up to thread her fingers through the other woman’s hair. Kai’sa made a noise which almost sounded like purring as Akali took hold of a handful of hair and gripped it tight.

“That’s it,” she mumbled, her voice muffled as her mouth was still very full of Akali’s throat. She lavished a spot on her collarbone, where her shoulder just connected with her neck, and Akali shuddered, tightening her grip on Kai’sa’s hair and snaking her other arm around Kai’sa’s waist to pull their lower bodies flush together.

Hazy from how good Kai’sa’s ravishing felt and panting as the stabs of an emerging hickey fueled the flames already burning in her abdomen, Akali focused on her breathing and took in the room around her. She didn’t want to fall apart too quickly, and if she didn’t distract herself, she was at very real risk of lasting no more than a minute after being properly touched.

The room was neat, somewhat bare, but well taken care of. Kai’sa’s bed was neatly made, and her desk was neat, with papers organised into three individual, perfectly squared piles. Kai’sa even had pens laid out on a small shelf organised above the desk, organised between a small potted succulent and a framed photo. It showed Kai’sa with two of her friends - Ahri and Evelynn, if Akali’s sex-melted brain was serving her true. Kai’sa was beaming at the camera, not showing her teeth, but her eyes crinkled up in that infuriatingly cute way they had a tendency to, and Akali squeezed the hand she had fisted in Kai’sa’s hair as her heart clenched with fondness.

Kai’sa groaned at the tug on her hair, and she stood up slowly, as if reluctant to give up her adoring attention to Akali’s newly bruised clavicle. She drew her hand up to take Akali’s chin gently between her fingers and guide her head up until their gazes locked.

“Is this okay?”

Her eyes were gentle but extremely serious, and Akali was already far too taken in by her desire to resist. She lifted her hand to caress Kai’sa’s waist, and then slid it back until she grasped her by the ass and pressed their hips together.

Kai’sa gasped, and a blush coloured her cheeks. Also infuriatingly cute. Damn her.

“You tell me, Bokkie,” Akali smirked, baring her teeth as she teased her. Kai’sa’s eyes flashed, and she pressed a thumb against Akali’s lips.

As if by instinct, Akali opened her mouth, and Kai’sa slid her thumb inside her mouth to lightly press her tongue down against her jaw.

“I could never quite place how you might act in the bedroom, you know,” she said, her voice low enough almost to be a growl. “I think I’ve worked it out.”

Akali had to fight back a whimper as Kai’sa pulled her thumb out of Akali’s mouth and traced its wetted pad against her lower lip.

“Yeah?” was all she could muster. The corner of Kai’sa’s mouth tilted upwards in a tiny smile, and she guided Akali backwards until her legs hit the edge of the bed, and she was buckled backwards to sprawl across the neatly made sheets.

“You,” Kai’sa crawled over Akali until she was straddling her hips, and lightly flicked her nose with a fingertip. “Are a brat .”

Akali giggled. She lifted her knees and pushed up her hips, pressing them against Kai’sa’s. Kai’sa let out a soft gasp, and Akali placed her hands on Kai’sa’s thighs, massaging her there.

“Are you surprised?” she purred, and Kai’sa chuckled. It was airy, more breath than laughter, and she was clearly fighting to keep herself in control. Cute again.

“You know? I’m not, really,” Kai’sa admitted. She leaned down, taking Akali’s wrists into her hands and pinning them above her head. She ghosted her lips over Akali’s neck, peppering kisses there. When Akali tilted her head away, giving Kai’sa more access, Kai’sa latched on to her pulse point and sucked.

Akali’s response was immediate and very out of her control. She arched off the bed, pressing into Kai’sa’s body, and whined. Kai’sa snorted, sounding a little smug. Akali would have taken the opportunity to backtalk and generally be a shit, but she figured Kai’sa was allowed that much. She’d earned her smugness, for now, and she wasn’t planning on pausing to let Akali be a shit, anyway. She sucked and nibbled on that spot on Akali’s throat until a nice clear mark had formed. Mine.

“Fuck,” Akali huffed. She wiggled her hips, impatiently pressing them against Kai’sa’s and rocking her. Kai’sa chuckled.

“Easy, Kali. You’ll get your chance.”

“Don’t tease me, Kai,” Akali pleaded, the heat pooling between her legs turning her brain to mush. “I want you.”

“I know you do,” Kai’sa kissed down Akali’s throat and over her collarbone. “You be patient for me, and I’ll reward you for it.”

“Fuck,” Akali grumbled again, her cheeks heating at the promise. She turned her face up, closing her eyes and letting Kai’sa relish her. She lost track of how long Kai’sa lingered there, sucking marks into her skin and sinking her teeth into the sensitive points, careful never to hurt her. Akali ended up squirming, releasing soft gasps with each little sting of Kai’sa’s teeth and clutching at Kai’sa as if she was her only lifeline. Kai’sa’s hands moved down her waist, caressing, gentle, infuriating. Clouds formed in Akali’s mind until she could barely think of anything besides getting fucking railed.

“Akali?” Kai’sa eventually murmured between her relentless torrent of collarbone kisses.

“Hm?” Akali’s breath was ragged. She ground her hips up again, desperate for any kind of friction, but Kai’sa remained frustratingly out of her range.

“Take your fucking clothes off.”

Oh, fuck yes.

Akali’s eyes snapped open and she began to help Kai’sa shimmy her clothes off of her. She looked damn good in skin-tight vests, but they were a bitch to take off, especially if you were already sweaty and worked up.

Her top was thrown somewhere across the room. Akali didn’t see where it landed, and she didn’t care. She was much more focused on Kai’sa shifting down Akali’s body to drag down her pants and get to where Akali wanted her most.

“Kai’sa, please,” Akali begged as Kai’sa took her time, pausing to admire the sizeable damp spot on Akali’s underwear.

“Aw, is this for me?” Kai’sa kissed the edge of Akali’s thigh, just a few inches from where Akali really needed her.

“Yes,” Akali begged, breathless. “Yeah. All for you. Now please…”

“So impatient,” Kai’sa tutted. “Brat.”

She pulled Akali’s underwear free and tossed them into the ether to join the rest of her clothes. Akali squeezed her eyes shut as Kai’sa peppered soft kisses along the inside of her thighs, and her fingers trailed down her stomach. Kai’sa’s breath hit her pussy, hot and tantalising, and Akali’s legs quivered with anticipation.

She dug her feet into the blankets as if she could clench them and anchor herself to reality. Kai’sa’s fingers finally slid between her folds, just running down her soaked core before spreading her apart. In a movement that nearly had Akali keening, Kai’sa leaned in and lapped a single broad stroke up Akali’s pussy, before she started to lavish attention on her clit.

Akali cried out, her chest convulsing with bursts of pleasure. Her stomach muscles locked up and she threw her head back into the sheets.

Kai’sa sealed her lips around Akali’s clit and flicked her tongue over the sensitive bud, not enough to be overstimulating, but just enough that each brush of contact sent lightning flashes straight into Akali’s brain.

She massaged Akali’s thighs,  keeping them spread apart around her while she worked, and Akali whimpered and writhed beneath her, turned to putty from her artistry.

After some time of this - of Akali coiling tighter and tighter, whining and turned helpless by Kai’sa’s ministrations - she reached down to gently stop Kai’sa.

Kai’sa gently kissed her thigh, waiting for instruction, and when Akali could form up the words, she gestured between her legs with a shaking hand.

“I need… inside. Please.”

Kai’sa nodded and prowled further up Akali’s body until she settled by her side, her head by Akali’s tits and her arm perfectly angled to fuck Akali senseless.

She slid her fingers between Akali’s folds, now absolutely soaked after Kai’sa had worked her with her mouth, and traced a circle around her entrance before one finger steadily slipped inside.

Akali couldn’t keep herself quiet anymore. She was tipsy and far too wound up. Kai’sa was tender, watching her carefully for any twinges of discomfort, but she moved swiftly, slipping in another finger, and then another.

Before long, she was bending over to kiss Akali’s stomach and fucking her deeply with her fingers. She didn’t hold back on her pace and she crooked her long fingers on each withdraw, dragging them against that lovely sensitive point on the front of Akali’s walls.

Akali came so fast that it was almost embarrassing. She yelled Kai’sa’s name and her entire body locked up, her spine arching up off the bed and her shoulders curling back behind her. Her vision went white and white-hot ecstasy coursed through her body with each pulsing beat of her heart.

She stayed there, kept tense by the rolling waves of pleasure until it steadily passed and she fell limp. Her breathing was shaking, and she opened her eyes a slit to watch Kai’sa pulling out her fingers and sucking Akali’s juices from them.

Fuck.

“Wow,” she huffed, and Kai’sa chuckled.

“Was that okay?”

“Okay? Shit, Kai. I needed that…” She trailed off, needing to catch her breath before she could finish her sentence. “...More than I knew.”

Kai’sa looked smug as hell, like a cat who’d stolen a plump fillet of tuna from her owner’s counter. Akali couldn’t give her shit for it, even if she usually would have. She was too scatterbrained from her recent orgasm.

Kai’sa gently kissed a line up Akali’s stomach and settled to rest on top of her, settling her chin between Akali’s breasts.

“Do you like straps?”

Akali, having only just started to gather her thoughts, immediately dropped them again like slippery prompt cards. Her brain blanked and she stared down at Kai’sa.

“Using them? Or, uh.” She licked her lips. “Receiving?”

“Receiving,” Kai’sa clarified. “Sorry if you were thinking the previous; I’m… I don’t do penetration often.”

She averted her eyes, and Akali immediately realised that this was a conversation they’d need to have in the future, and committed it to memory. She nodded.

“Uh, yeah. I like them a lot.”

“Good,” Kai’sa grinned, flashing her teeth, and Akali blushed as the taller woman lifted herself and slipped away to fetch something.

“Now?” Akali couldn’t find the words to be any more eloquent, still caught up in the soft haze after her orgasm. Kai’sa glanced at her, looking a little worried, and Akali rushed to clarify. “Not that I’m opposed. I’d like to. I just… Don’t you want something?”

Kai’sa’s expression softened and she quirked her mouth into a smile.

“You’re sweet. But if it’s all right with you, I’d just like to treat you tonight.”

Heat blossomed across Akali’s face and chest, and she nodded, settling back into the mattress. She wasn’t the kind of person who believed that both people needed to orgasm to define a successful sexual encounter, but it was their first time. Akali wanted to do it right, and she didn’t want to come across as some selfish lover happy to lie back and take it without reciprocating.

But, since Kai’sa was offering…

Kai’sa slipped into her harness with only a little fumbling. She held up a couple of toys for Akali to choose from, and she chose the smaller. She’d taken larger toys in the past, but it usually took significant work to prepare her for that, and she wasn’t in the mood for it. Kai’sa nodded and slid Akali’s choice into the O-ring.

Now prepared, she grabbed a bottle of lube and trotted back over to the bed. She crawled over Akali, settling between her spread thighs. Akali’s breathing quickened as she felt the steady weight of Kai’sa’s hips pressing her own legs further apart, and the cool slide of the toy’s silicone side against her dripping pussy.

“You okay?” Kai’sa checked in, reaching down to fasten her mouth around one of Akali’s nipples. She flicked it with her tongue, but maintained eye contact while Akali nodded.

“Yeah,” Akali softly gasped. “Please.”

Kai’sa’s mouth tugged into a smile, slightly awkward with Akali’s nipple still clamped between her lips. She pulled away so she could lube up the toy and positioned it at Akali’s entrance with one hand bunched around the shaft. She kept a close eye on Akali as she wriggled closer, pressing the blunt cockhead against Akali’s entrance.

“Fuck,” Akali cussed and closed her eyes. She nodded, urging Kai’sa to move, and Kai’sa began to push her hips down, sliding her toy inside of Akali.

If you asked Akali at that moment to form a single sentence - any coherent sentence - she would have failed. Her mind was emptied, focused only on Kai’sa’s comforting weight hovering above her, the slight tilt of the mattress as she settled comfortably on her elbows, and the delicious slide of the toy as their hips drew closer together.

After already fucking her open with her fingers, there was little resistance as Kai’sa bottomed out. Akali whined, her voice reedy and high-pitched. It felt like all the air had been pushed clear out of her chest. Heat gathered inside her skull. It felt like her brain, already mush from her arousal, was being steadily cooked inside her. As Kai’sa began to slide back and forth and fuck her with collected restraint, Akali was left only capable of softly crying out signals of her pleasure.

This round was slower, without the desperate intensity with which Kai’sa had fucked her with her fingers. Now, they took their time, just enjoying their shared breaths and the sultry slide of their hips as Kai’sa drew her cock in and out.

Eventually, as Akali’s mushy, well-cooked brain managed to form words, she mumbled out a request.

“Please, uh… Talk. You can be…. You can be mean.”

Kai’sa’s head jerked up in some surprise at that, but she softly chuckled and reached down to kiss Akali’s jaw.

“As you wish. Tell me if it gets too much, yeah?”

“Yeah. Please.”

Kai’sa shifted positions a little so she could fuck Akali harder. She reached up to cradle Akali’s jaw and began to softly murmur to her.

“There you go. Look at how pretty you are under me, listen to those lovely sounds of yours.”

Akali could only groan and roll her eyes back into her head as Kai’sa’s cock hit a particularly sensitive spot inside her.

“Look at you. Look how easily you came apart for me. Have you been wanting me that badly, darling? You’ve pretended to be so cool, so unphased by anything I could throw at you, and look at you now - putty in my hands, aren’t you?”

She didn’t get too mean. She continued to murmur into Akali’s ear, her words punctuated with fantastic shivers up Akali’s spine as she clapped their hips together. She commented on how lovely Akali looked, on how beautiful her sounds were, on how nice it felt to finally fuck her like this after wanting her for so long.

By the time Akali came, she was nearly weeping. It was all so much, after so long of waiting, and as she was sent over that edge into the abyss of pleasure once more, she pulled Kai’sa close to her and hugged her tightly.

She trembled, her breath coming in stuttered sobs as rapture wrecked her body again and again and again. She clutched Kai’sa as if it would stop this moment from ending; stop Kai’sa from ever walking away from her and leaving her alone, like almost everyone she loved ended up doing in the end.

She didn’t want to lose this.

She went limp and as Kai’sa moved to pull out, Akali reluctantly released her. She was completely fucked out, left feeling boneless and exhausted out of her mind. Kai’sa pattered around the flat, cleaning the toy and packing everything away neatly, before she returned with two glasses of water.

“Here,” she pushed one of the glasses into Akali’s hand. “Drink.”

Akali gratefully drained the glass and sagged back into the mattress with a sigh.

“I am… so tired.”

“Yeah?” Kai’sa’s voice sounded delighted. “I tired you out that much, huh?”

“Yeah,” Akali grumbled. “But I gotta piss.”

Kai’sa laughed and offered Akali a hand.

“Come on. You gotta get up. Sort that out and brush your teeth - I left you a spare toothbrush on the counter - and then we can sleep. Sound good?”

Akali pouted, but ultimately she couldn’t argue with that. She got to her feet and pressed a soft, slow kiss to Kai’sa’s lips, only grimacing a little as she tasted her own pussy on Kai’sa’s lips, before she headed out to get sorted.

They fell asleep that night curled up in each other’s arms, with their hearts beating in sync and gentle smiles etched so deep on their faces, they may well have been etched on their souls.

-

-

you came and i was longing for you

you cooled a heart that burned with desire

-

Kai’sa

-

Kai’sa woke first. It was well past her usual rising time, but it had been… an eventful night.

She woke to see Akali sleeping next to her, curled on her side, facing her. She’d let her hair down before they’d gone to sleep and it sprawled out behind her like a wild thing, bushy and untamed.

The new streak Akali had dyed into it was gorgeous, and it was just as sprawled as the rest of her hair. Kai’sa wanted to stroke it, but she restrained herself to avoid the risk of waking her.

As she lay there, with the sun streaming underneath her curtains to illuminate a thin line across her floor and the woman she loved lying next to her, Kai’sa expected to panic. She’d been treading this line for so long, terrified of what might happen if she dared to take that leap, but now she was here, she lay there calm and content.

Her heart didn’t race. Her hands didn’t twitch, anxious to stim. The dark clouds of her fear were there, but they resided in the back of her mind, and they were shone into near-insignificance by just how fucking happy she was.

She’d done it, and even though it was frightening beyond words, she’d made it here, with Akali by her side. They’d taken that leap together, and Akali didn’t leave her afterwards. She’d crawled into bed with her and gotten grumpy when Kai’sa needed to break apart their cuddle to avoid overheating during the night.

She lay there now, face completely smoothed out in sleep. Even after everything, she was there.

Kai’sa fired off a quick text to Ahri to update her on the situation, and added a quick “She’s still here, I will call you later” to avoid Ahri immediately ringing her and waking Akali. She muted her phone, then, and rested it back on her bedside table.

She’d drunk plenty of water the night before and she hadn’t been too crazily drunk - she certainly wouldn’t have slept with Akali if she had - so she didn’t feel too bad, but there was a slight turn in her stomach which suggested a hangover, so she reached over to take some painkillers and sip another glass of water.

She’d need to get up to go to the bathroom soon, but for now, she just enjoyed memorising the view of Akali asleep in her bed, with blossomed hickies just visible beneath the edge of the bedsheets.

She didn’t think she’d ever seen a prettier sight.

- - -

It didn’t take long for Akali to wake up.

By that point, Kai’sa was comfortably leaning back against the headboard with her nose in a book, but she glanced over as she heard Akali shifting with a soft groan.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” she murmured, reaching down to brush Akali’s fringe out of her eyes.

“Mmngh,” Akali mumbled in response. Sweet.

Kai’sa grinned down as Akali blinked up at her, still only half conscious. Without a word, she reached over to Kai’sa, wrapped her arms around her waist, and snuggled up into her side.

“Mnn.”

“Good morning to you too,” Kai’sa snickered.

She wasn’t surprised that she was the morning person between them. Akali was many things, but one of those things was vocal, and she complained most work mornings about how much she hated getting out of bed. Kai’sa found it violently cute.

She reached down to stroke through Akali’s hair, finally giving herself permission now she was already awake. It was soft, thicker than hers and a little more coarse, but it was lovely on her fingers as she lightly dug her fingers in to scratch at Akali’s scalp.

Akali nearly purred at the sensation and leaned into Kai’sa’s fingertips.

“Mm… keep doing that.”

“You like it?” Kai’sa beamed down at her, and Akali could only make a noise which sounded awfully similar to the ones she’d made while Kai’sa was actively making her cum. The thought made her chuckle, but it also reminded her of something important.

She ran her fingers down to lightly shake Akali’s shoulder.

“Hey. We should talk about last night, hm? Make sure we’re both okay?”

“Yeah,” Akali nuzzled into Kai’sa’s shoulder. “We should talk. Important stuff.”

They did not end up talking. Instead, they ended up fucking again, and then again - Akali bringing Kai’sa to a climax by grinding her thigh into Kai’sa’s core, and then burying her face between her legs to bring her to it a second time before Kai’sa had even stopped twitching from the first one.

Akali had jerked herself off while she ate Kai’sa out, and just the sight alone had driven her halfway nuts.

Afterwards, as they lay sprawled in bed, fucked out, for the second time in twelve hours, they began to giggle.

“That was not talking,” Kai’sa covered her face with her hands even as she giggled into them. “I take it we’re both happy, then. No problems?”

Akali laughed and leaned over to kiss Kai’sa’s neck.

“None from me.”

“Away with you,” Kai’sa grinned as she pushed Akali back. “If you get me started again we’ll never get up.”

She sat up and stretched, before sighing contentedly. There was no better way to wake up than after a nice couple of orgasms.

“I’ll make us breakfast,” she announced as she got to her feet. “What would you like?”

“What have you got?” Akali cocked her head. She had a curious glint in her eye, and Kai’sa could guess why - after months of Kai’sa eating Akali’s food on the daily, finally Akali was now getting to try hers.

The thought made her a little nervous, and she overshot.

“I, uh… I have eggs. You like eggs benedict?”

Akali chuckled, and Kai’sa shook her head.

“Sorry. Nervous. I have cereal, too, or I can make pancakes, or just… regular eggs.”

Akali’s eyes lit up.

“Pancakes sound good.”

Kai’sa grinned. It was so unfair that Akali got to be this cute. She reached out and mussed Akali’s hair, and she snorted as Akali squawked in protest.

“Pancakes it is.”

Kai’sa was a pretty decent cook. She was safe and didn’t tend to experiment often; her meals were carefully measured and she followed recipes to a T when she made something new.

She’d been an absolutely awful cook when she’d first left home; her father had never been around to teach her, so it was a very messy process of trial and error until she found a method that worked for her. She was good at following rules and instructions, after all, and over the years she’d narrowed down the recipes she was most fond of.

She didn’t go overboard, per se, but she still went above what she’d make for herself. She made each of them a small stack of pancakes and set them out with an array of butter, syrup, whipped cream, and fresh, washed berries.

Akali drifted out of the bedroom while Akali was setting the table.

“Damn, that smells good,” she trotted over to the table. “Look at all this - you didn’t need to do all this for me.”

“I wanted to,” Kai’sa shrugged. “Here, both plates are the same. You can pick whichever.”

She grabbed them some more water and slid into the chair left vacant after Akali made her choice.

They tucked in and ate quietly for a while. Pancakes were a good choice for slightly hungover stomachs, and they were good. Kai’sa didn’t like to compliment her own work often, but she had to admit that these were tasty.

Akali seemed to agree. She groaned softly as she finished off a mouthful.

“God, Kai, you never said you could cook.”

“I’ve literally only made you pancakes,” Kai’sa chuckled. “I can make nicer things than this. They did turn out well, though.”

“They’re delicious,” Akali tucked into another mouthful. “Damn.”

Kai’sa beamed, her heart warmed by seeing Akali enjoy her cooking. She couldn’t deny that she was a little insecure about her cooking abilities when it came to Akali. Akali was a chef. Her life revolved around good food. Kai’sa wanted to impress her.

“So,” Akali started. “We should actually talk a bit.”

“Yeah,” Kai’sa flushed and took a sip of water. “Probably. Are you okay with everything that happened?”

“More than okay if you are,” Akali nodded. “I guess I just… wanna know for sure some stuff. How long have you even been interested? It’s been a little hot and cold; I’ve had some difficulty reading you.”

“Sorry,” Kai’sa looked down at her plate. “I’ve had some bad experiences in the past. They make it… very hard for me to let people in. I didn’t intend for my struggles to affect you, but it’s inevitable it was going to.”

“Shit happens,” Akali shrugged. “You were interested all that time, then? Just struggling with that?”

“Pretty much, yeah.” Kai’sa sighed. “It was a quick thing for me, knowing that I was interested in you. It just took a very long time for me to be able to accept that I could allow it safely. Not that I think you’d ever harm me, but I’ve been burned before by trusting people.”

“I hear that,” Akali glanced down at her plate and pushed some pancake around with her fork. “I’m sorry to hear you went through that.”

“It’s okay, it’s in the past. I’m only sorry it affected you”

“Hey,” Akali looked up at her. “It’s okay. We’re okay. Like. Yeah, it sucked a bit, but it sucked because I wanted you and I didn’t know if you felt the same. And here you are.”

The corner of Kai’sa’s mouth twitched upwards, and Akali chuckled before continuing.

“We’re in a good spot, it feels like. But know that you can talk to me about these things, yeah?”

“Of course,” Kai’sa dipped her head. “I don’t think there’s much I’d be too scared to tell you, at this point.”

“Good to hear,” Akali smirked, clearly smug at hearing that. Kai’sa chuckled and finished off her food. Akali shoved the last of her own pancakes into her mouth, and they got up to wash the dishes together.

It was a nice, domestic morning. It was late by the time they’d woken up already, let alone the… activities they’d gotten up to before getting up to eat, so it was already nearly noon by the time everything was cleaned up.

They headed into the living room and slumped onto the sofa to cuddle up and watch TV, but as was becoming a habit of theirs, they didn’t end up watching much of it. They ended up fucking again; Kai’sa retrieving her strap and Akali riding her right there on her couch, before they turned around so Kai’sa could fuck her from behind. She even shyly asked Akali if she might try it on her, to which Akali recoiled in surprise.

“You sure? I thought you didn’t like this kind of thing.”

“I don’t do it often,” Kai’sa agreed. “It’s not the sort of thing I usually enjoy, but… I trust you. I’d like to try this.”

Akali made love to her gently, with Kai’sa on her back on the sofa, and it was tender. It wasn’t the sort of thing Kai’sa enjoyed much, but Akali was slow, and made sure to check in frequently in case Kai’sa was in any pain.

It was sweet.

They washed the toy and tiredly pulled their clothes back on before falling asleep on the couch, and when they woke up, it was already heading into the late afternoon.

They chuckled, amused by their own stamina.

Kai’sa leaned down to kiss the corner of Akali’s mouth. She was a little sore between her legs; it was so infrequent she had anything inside her that she was a little out of practice. She didn’t feel like getting up, but she could already hear Akali’s stomach growling and her own wasn’t far behind.

“You fancy takeout for dinner? I know a nice fusion place that does delivery.”

“Oh, fuck yes.”

They ate together on the couch. Kai’sa had ordered some cashew chicken with noodles, and Akali had wanted some classic sweet and sour chicken with rice, but they ended up sharing it between them anyway.

It was a nice day. Besides the sex, they were domestic; relaxing together, cuddling whenever they got the chance, and sleeping in each other’s arms as if they didn’t have a care in the world.

After months of fear, the claws fastened into Kai’sa’s heart had unfurled. If this was what trusting Akali felt like, it was a wonder why she hadn’t tried it sooner.

That night, though, Akali checked her phone and sighed.

“I have to head home. I’ve got work tomorrow and I need a clean uniform.”

Kai’sa’s heart sank, but before she could spiral into her treacherous thoughts, always trying to convince her that her loved ones wanted to leave her, Akali shuffled closer and rested her head on her shoulder.

“If you wanted, you could come over afterwards? You can meet my bastard cat properly.”

It was such simple reassurance, such a tiny thing which Akali probably didn’t think twice about, but to Kai’sa, it meant the world. It was a stitch working towards healing the raw, ragged wound Ezreal had left in her heart.

Kai’sa leaned down to kiss her forehead.

“I’d like to take you out on a proper date.”

Akali giggled and leaned in closer, snuggling Kai’sa. It never felt like they were close enough to each other, now they were finally touching.

“I think we’re a bit past that point, Kai. But still, I’d like that a lot. I’d like to date; it sounds nice.”

Kai’sa grinned and pressed more soft kisses to Akali’s head.

“Yeah. It really does.”