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Kat Stratford has been back in Seattle for three days and the first day it doesn’t rain coincides with her twenty year high school reunion. Most people would be nervous about seeing their high school peers, but she’s not interested in any of them. There’s only one reason she’s attending.
"Did you know Patrick is coming to the reunion?" her sister Bianca says, almost like she’s been reading Kat’s mind. They’re at Bianca’s house, sitting in the kitchen and putting the final touches to their makeup. Apparently, this is the only room with decent lighting, but Kat reckons Bianca just wanted to pregame before they hit the Padua High gymnasium for a night of sickly, bright coloured punch and barely edible finger food. .
"Patrick Verona?" Kat didn’t know that. High school was barely his scene when he was legally required to attend, let alone voluntarily attending a night of nostalgia and has-beens.
"No, Patrick Swayze." Bianca reaches for the half-empty bottle of pinot and tops up her wine glass. “Do you think you’ll be okay? Seeing Patrick again.”
"Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, baby sister. And you know what? I will be okay. This is good news. He and I need to talk.”
Kat was hoping to swing by his place before her flight back to New York but him being at the reunion makes what she has to do easier.
The kitchen door swings open and her brother-in-law, Cameron appears, complete with Bianca’s shoes and purse. He’s always doted on her, loved her in a way Kat’s never seen before. If only her eighteen-year-old self could see him now. Turns out her sister picked a good one.
“Kat thinks that it’s good news that Patrick is coming to the reunion.”
Cameron’s youthful brown eyes swivel towards Kat. "I don't like the sound of that."
Cameron never likes the sound of anything. How the world hasn’t eaten him up and spit him out yet is a mystery to Kat. Even his dweeb friend Eckard (or is it Eckman?) is on his third wife.
Grinning at Cameron, she says, "Maybe he'll finally take his head out of his ass and sign the divorce papers."
It started off when Cameron proposed to Bianca and their father doubled down on his ridiculous dating policy. He would only give his consent if Kat was married first. Naturally, Kat and Patrick drove to Vegas, found a chapel to do the deed, and it was over in a matter of minutes. The marriage lasted a tad longer, with her leaving Seattle three years afterwards to head back to New York when it became clear Patrick was only interested in shooting pool and knocking back cheap beer.
Now, she's a New York Times bestselling author with a fiancé that makes Patrick look like the first half of an after-school special. All she needs is to get him to sign on the dotted line on the divorce papers and she will be free of her old life.
The trouble is that he keeps sending the papers back without his John Hancock.
"W-w-wait, you're still married?" Cameron's puppy dog eyes are wide with confusion - apparently, Patrick still isn't the caring and sharing type.
"Baby, don't," Bianca says, shooting a warning look at Cameron. While it’s touching that her sister is so protective, bringing up her marriage is no issue. Kat can talk about it without bursting into tears or running around screaming. It only took completely reinventing herself to get to this point. It’s no big deal.
"It's fine. Yes. Somehow, Patrick and I have been married longer than you."
"Aren't you engaged?" Cameron asks. "To some hot, rich guy? Does he know about this?"
"What's it to you?" Kat bristles, suddenly feeling bad that she hasn’t told her fiancé that she's still married. He doesn’t know much about her life pre-New York. Chances are he wouldn’t have put a ring on her finger if he did. Not that he put a ring on her finger. It was more of a friendly conversation before they went to bed.
He said they should get married and her reply was, ‘okay, sure.”
But nobody needs to know that.
"Patrick is my friend, Kat. He deserves to know. You know, he is not the same guy. He’s changed.”
Cameron has always been Team Patrick and Kat is not interested in yet another lecture. She knows who she married, and she’s ready to be free of him once and for all.
"You know, he's not a bad person," Cam continues. "I know he was rough around the edges way back when, but we all were!"
"Cam, you're about as rough as a marshmallow." Kat grins. "Bianca told me about Lisa and your lax punishment methods."
Lisa is Kat’s fourteen-year-old niece, a product of Cameron and Bianca deciding they didn’t need to sow their oats in their twenties. They got married and two years later, they suddenly had a wailing baby. It feels like it was yesterday and sometimes Kat’s envious. Bianca is happy with her life, with Cameron. The only minor blip is that she wants another child, and it hasn’t happened yet. Knowing her sister, though, she’ll get what she wants.
"I made her wear the belly!" Cameron says indignantly, cutting into Kat’s wayward thoughts. "That's punishment enough."
“You still have that thing?” Kat chuckles at the memory of her father forcing Bianca to wear it whenever she got any grand ideas about leading her own life.
“Oh, we have several.” Bianca shoots Cameron a dark look. “Did you know they come in different colours?”
“Like I said,” Cameron says. “I feel like it’s an adequate punishment.”
"As someone who was once a teenage girl, it really isn't. I suggest you find a tower, lock her up and throw away the key."
Cameron buries his head in his hands. "Oh God. Now I know how your dad felt all those years ago."
"Why do you get a kick out of torturing my husband?" Bianca asks her, although there's a mischievous glint in her eyes, like she’s enjoying watching Cameron squirm.
“He makes it so easy,” Kat says. “Besides, he is my fave brother-in-law.”
“Yeah, yeah, I love you, too,” Cameron mumbles, heading towards the door hastily. “I’ll be in the car. Don’t be too long ladies!”
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The Padua High School reunion is your typical affair. They’ve decked the gymnasium in multicoloured streamers and balloons and ‘Everybody’ by Backstreet Boys appears to be playing on a loop. A group of enthusiastic attendees have been doing a She’s All That-esque dance routine for twenty minutes and Kat wants to barf.
Taking a deep breath, she smooths down her simple yet elegant black midi dress, checking her appearance in her compact mirror one last time. Her hair is in an updo and she’s wearing the expensive pearl earrings that her fiancé, Derek, gave her. For a moment, she sees her reflection from twenty years ago, long flowing hair and wedge sandals, complete with guitar strapped around her.
Eventually, she goes back to scanning the room, spying Patrick by the bar where he’s sipping a green liquid from a plastic cup. He looks different. His hair is shorter and his clothes are less baggy. They haven't spoken since Kat left. No phone calls, no email, no texts - at least not on her end. She cut off all communication once she settled in New York. And looking at him now, she finds she doesn’t know what to say.
Part of her wants to tell him everything, confess to every thought she’s had over the years. The way she used to when they were a couple. Late, sleepless nights where they curled up on the roof and watched the stars, humbled by their simplistic beauty.
The other part wants to make it through this night as painlessly as possible.
“Let me guess.” Kat waits until she’s behind him before she speaks. “You spiked the punch?"
Patrick turns around slowly, assessing her with his eyes. No doubt he's cataloguing the designer dress, the highlights in her hair and the natural but visible makeup. It was all part of her career makeover. Apparently, grungy and authentic was out and sleek and professional was in. No matter how it felt on the inside.
"I'm surprised to see you here," Patrick says finally, his Australian twang still prominent despite his years in the US. "We're not exactly your scene, are we?"
"What is my scene?" Kat’s defences kick into gear, ready to match Patrick point for point if she needs to.
"Uppity. Snobbish. Elitist. Passive aggressive. I’m guessing there’s a lot of drinking wine around roundtables and talking about how clever you are."
"Wow. It's nice to see you too." Kat grits her teeth. “I see you haven’t changed.”
"Wish I could say the same." Patrick takes a long sip of punch. "How long has it been?"
It’s the faux casual tone that creeps under her skin - they both know exactly how long it’s been even if they’ll never admit it.
"Look, how about we make this as pain free as possible? I have a copy of the divorce papers you keep returning. Sign them now and it’ll all be over."
“That’s why you’re here?”
There’s genuine surprise in his eyes, and it catches her off guard. For a moment, she wants to reach out and touch his arm, do whatever she can to take his pain away.
"Hey, Patrick!" Joey Donner swings by and slaps him on the back before she can even ask what Patrick meant. "I heard that you're catering the reunion. Way to go, man!"
"Yeah, thanks," Patrick says.
“Uh, hi, Kat. You look well.” Joey clears his throat. “I’m sorry about what went down between us back in the day. It wasn’t cool. I'm a changed man, I promise!”
Kat’s lips barely curve when she attempts to smile. “I’m glad to hear that Joey.”
With a self-assured nod, Joey leaves them to it. Kat plays back the conversation, stopping on the part where Patrick has anything to do with providing services for the reunion.
Kat twists her face into a sneer. "You're a caterer now?"
Patrick could never hold down a job, let alone an entire business - she’ll believe it when she sees it.
"I own a bar. Three bars, actually. We provide catering services. Is that a problem?" Patrick raises his brow and Kat is caught off guard. For the first time, she can’t read him. He’s closed off and contained and it bothers her. And that she’s bothered bothers her even more.
"No, just..."
Patrick chuckles dryly when she doesn’t continue. "You assumed that I'd spend the rest of my life wallowing. Wondering when you'd come back."
She's only human. Maybe part of her hoped Patrick still felt something.
"All I wanted is for both of us to move on from what happened."
The breakup wasn’t messy, it just was. For two people that have spent almost a decade apart, they went out with a thud. Kat packed a bag, wrote a goodbye note and then ordered a cab to SeaTac Airport. Patrick sent her three text messages and left a voicemail she never listened to.
"Kat, you like to think you're this beacon of honesty, but I never blamed you for what happened. I blamed you for leaving. For not having faith in me. And it took a while, but I got over you."
Liar, the voice inside Kat’s head screams. You’re lying.
"Why didn't you sign the papers?" Kat asks instead of focusing on that. "If you're over it all, why not let me go?"
"I don't know. Maybe I thought you'd respect me enough to show up long before our twenty-year reunion."
There's hurt in his voice, an openness that he only ever let her see and if Kat didn’t feel like a heel before, she does now. She never imagined a scenario where she was the bad guy, but here they are.
"Patrick..." Kat swallows hard, unable to continue. Why did she think this would be easy?
"Do you have them on you?"
"What?"
Patrick gives her a sidelong glance. "The divorce papers."
"Uh, yeah, I-I have them.”
Fishing them out of her bag, she slides them across to him. Her cheeks heat and she prays that she’s not visibly flushed. Patrick pulls out a pen from his jacket pocket and signs all the marked spots without reading the document.
“Congratulations, babe. You got what you came for. I’d say don’t be a stranger, but… that’s basically your thing, isn’t it?”
“Patrick, I…”
“It’s okay. It’s time we both moved on.” Patrick drains the rest of his punch and stands up, murmuring, “Goodbye Katarina.”
He walks past, leaving her standing there by the bar. Kat exhales messily, feeling her breath fanning against her face. Pouring herself a glass of punch, she turns around to look at the gymnasium. Bianca and Cameron are on the dancefloor, twirling around with gentle smiles on their faces. The song sounds familiar, but it takes a minute for her to remember it.
“You're a little late. I'm already torn…”
“God, I hate this song,” Kat mutters under her breath before she knocks back the punch, grimacing when the sickly sweet liquid touches her tongue. “And great, he didn’t even spike the punch!”
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“You're just too good to be true. Can't take my eyes off of you…”
It’s chilly outside, but thankfully, it’s not raining. Kat is sitting in the bleachers, remembering the time Patrick serenaded her during PE. It was one thing that made her fall in love with him. Most guys were busy trying to look cool and here was this rugged, bad boy singing to her in front of the entire school. Is giving up that spontaneity for Derek’s composed and structured personality worth it? He’s safe, has money and the resources to give her everything she wants. Is that enough?
Footsteps sound next to her, snapping Kat out of her thoughts. To her surprise, it’s Patrick. He’s holding his jacket in his arms, an expensive-looking pea coat. It’s weird seeing him with anything but leather. After what happened inside, she thought he’d never want to be within two feet of her and here he is. Surprising her again.
Slipping his jacket around her bare shoulders, he takes a seat next to her. The coat is warm around her and she bites back the urge to inhale.
“Aren’t you cold?” Patrick asks.
“Not really.” Kat smiles at him. “Thanks, though. Thanks for looking out for me.”
“I’ll always look out for you.” Patrick ducks his head, clasping his arms in front of him and squeezing hard enough that his fingers turn white.
It’s clear he didn’t mean to say that, and yet Kat’s feeling things she shouldn’t. She’s remembering how loving he was, how he always had her back. How he always believed in her. How he loved her for who she was and not who he wanted her to be.
“You seem different. Wiser. More mature.”
“Yeah, well, we all have to grow up at some point, don’t we?” Patrick looks back up at her, a touch more relaxed than he was a moment ago. “Not all of us were born as fully formed opinionated adults like you.”
“Ha ha,” Kat says. “Seriously, though, growing up looks good on you.”
“And New York looks good on you.” Patrick smiles, sending a familiar tingle running down her spine. “I bought your books. They’re good.”
“Really?” Kat raises an eyebrow. “Have you actually read them?”
Patrick’s eyes gleam with amusement. “Hey, I read!”
“I don’t think the changing landscape of feminism in the twenty-first century is your thing.”
It’s hard to picture him reading one of her books, but she knows he’s telling the truth. Being supportive was never one of Patrick’s issues.
“What’s that old saying? Don’t judge a book by its cover?”
“How cliché,” Kat says, turning away while bursting out laughing. Patrick joins in briefly, gazing at her a touch too long before he stands.
"I'm heading out. That’s why I came out here. I thought I'd say goodbye properly this time. I don’t want to leave things on bad terms."
"You make it sound so final."
Kat can’t figure out why she has such a problem with that. This is what she wanted. It’s what she’s always wanted. To be free to start a new life without the shadow of the old one lurking behind.
"I signed the papers, darling. It is final."
"Just like that?"
"I wanted to look into your eyes and see for myself that it's over. And now I have. I wish you all the best, Kat. You deserve it."
Leaning in, he presses a chaste kiss to her forehead. “You can give Cameron my coat, okay?”
Her words get caught up in her throat and all she can do is watch him go. Tears spring free from her eyes, travelling further and further until they drop onto Patrick’s coat, like ungranted wishes fading into the night sky.
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"Why did Patrick leave so early, anyway?" Kat asks several hours later when they stumble through the threshold of Bianca’s house and head into the living room. Toeing off her peep toe heels and shrugging off Patrick's coat, she sinks down onto the couch. "He missed Eckard's rousing speech about how high school never ends."
“It’s Eckman, Michael Eckman. And he probably left to be with his daughter and-ow!"
Cameron is glaring at Bianca when Kat glances up. Daughter? Patrick has a daughter?
Don't freak out, don't freak out.
"His daughter?"
To her credit, her voice sounds normal. Like she's taking an interest in a friend and not being crushed by an invisible wrecking ball.
Bianca swats her husband on the arm. "Cameron, this is why Lisa and I don't take you anywhere."
“I'm sorry, okay?” Cameron says, sounding decidedly unapologetic. “But you've got to give me props for keeping it a secret for this long! I told you to tell her."
"And I told you why we couldn't. It's a sensitive issue. Why do you always do this?"
"Can you save this lover’s tiff for later and explain please?" Kat interjects, unable to maintain her façade any longer.
She's officially freaking out.
“He adopted her a few years ago,” Bianca says. “She was this homeless kid he found sleeping behind one of his bars. Her mom passed away and they couldn't find her father. He fought tooth and nail to look after her."
"How old is she?"
"She just turned fourteen," Cameron says. "I think you'd like her. Her and Lisa get on like a house on fire."
"You know, I've never understood that expression. How is a house on fire a good thing?"
"Cam, let me talk to my sister, please."
Cameron leaves swiftly, but not before rubbing Bianca’s arm gently. It’s such a simple gesture and Kat’s heart aches a little. Derek doesn’t do things like that. He’s all sharp suits and rigid, quietly present yet distant at the same time.
If she’s honest, that pain doesn’t compare to how she feels about Patrick having a daughter. What does she look like? How is he with her? Does that mean someone else is in the picture?
“Kat, are you okay?”
"It's okay, Bi, I'm not angry that you didn't tell me."
"Who are you and what have you done with Katzilla?"
The thing is that Kat stopped being angry a long time ago. Right around the time she woke up one day in her shoebox apartment in Brooklyn and realised she was lonely.
"Katzilla isn't exactly who I've been for the past ten years."
"Yeah, but you just found out the love of your life has a kid. You're allowed to feel something."
"That's why I left, isn't it? So he could be happy. Now he is."
"I'm not so sure about that." Bianca sighs. "Cameron worries about him. Even with Bethany, he thinks Patrick is lonely. That he hasn't been the same since you left."
“Like Patrick hasn’t had his first share of girlfriends.”
“There’s only been Ana! And I told you how badly that ended. He really hasn’t been the same. I don’t know what you did to him. Well, I do. Still. Not even I could have predicted his prolonged bachelor status.”
Bianca is the only person who knows the full story regarding the breakup, and to her credit, she’s never once challenged Kat over her decisions.
"If I'd stayed, do you think he'd have stuck around? It’s not like family time was his thing.”
"You didn't really give him a chance, sis." Bianca reaches out to squeeze her hand gently. “I know you were hurting. He does too. I’m sure he doesn’t blame you for what happened.”
“Maybe he should.”
Two years after they got married, Kat thought she might be pregnant. Patrick's eyes were wide like saucers when she told him. He spent the entire day in a daze until he came back with a dozen pregnancy tests and a gleam of hope in his eyes. Suddenly, all she wanted was his baby. To give him something that no one else could.
Unfortunately, things went in the opposite direction. Their dream was over by the end of the month and they had a new reality to come to terms with - she couldn't have children. And she knew he wanted them. He would never be the one to face the writing on the wall. She felt like he'd leave so she jumped ship first.
Things are different with Derek, her current fiancé. He's already got three kids and even though he’s set in his ways, it's a good relationship. Marrying him is the right thing to do.
She just needs to clear the air with Patrick first.
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The following evening, under the guise of returning his jacket, Kat takes an Uber to Patrick’s house. Or rather their house. It’s still the same two-storey fixer upper they moved into after they got married. The major difference is that the mess of weeds that used to be their front lawn is gone. In its place is a neatly manicured bed of grass.
Kat pushes that aside and presses the doorbell, waiting for a few seconds before it’s wrenched open by a young girl with a mop of chestnut curls and deep brown eyes.
"Who are you?"
"I'm Kat." Kat smiles at the girl. "You must be Bethany. I'm here to see…"
What is she supposed to say here? Dad or Patrick?
Luckily, Bethany comes to her rescue, looking back into the house and yelling, "PATRICK, YOUR EX-WIFE IS HERE!"
The smile on Kat’s face evaporates immediately at 'ex-wife'. It sounds ugly, like an unremovable mark that leaves a scar.
Turning back to Kat, Bethany adds, "For what it's worth, I understand why you want to get a divorce. Marriage is an archaic practice that needs to be outlawed."
"Actually, I'm engaged to someone else…"
"Oh." Bethany responds with several owlish blinks. "Congratulations."
Smiling despite herself, Kat chuckles and says, "Thank you."
“You know, he told me all about you,” Bethany says conversationally. “And I don't understand some of it, but I can tell he still loves you."
"Bethany!" Patrick's strained voice sounds behind her. "It's time for bed."
Bethany’s pout and eye roll have Kat concealing her grin with her hand, watching the silent standoff between her and Patrick.
"It's barely even ten,” she protests when he doesn’t relent.
"Now!"
Bethany stomps off, leaving Patrick to let Kat inside and despite the tension between them, she can’t let this moment pass without commentary.
"I can't believe Patrick Verona, self-appointed bad boy, is now a father to a teenage girl. Tell me. Does Cameron let you use the belly from time to time?"
"Are you kidding?” Patrick’s grin sends a wave of butterflies fluttering in her stomach. “He bought me one."
They share a laugh and for a split second, Kat feels light and carefree. Almost like old times before time wrenched them into the joys of adulthood.
Patrick clears his throat once they've sobered up. "So. Did I hear that right? You're engaged?"
It's not that Kat wanted to keep it from him, it just seemed cruel to bring it up while she was trying to put the divorce in play.
"Uh. Yeah. Yeah." Kat groans inwardly. Why has she picked this moment to turn into a bumbling fool?
"How's that going?"
"It's not balls to the wall amazing, but it's fine. He's a nice guy."
"Why are you marrying him?" Patrick cuts deep even with the flippant tone. "You don't sound happy."
"It's the right thing for me to do."
"Since when did you care about the right thing?"
“Since always,” Kat snaps, annoyed that he's already slipped past her outer shell. “You’re the one who does whatever he wants, consequences be damned.”
“Really? Well, I’m not the one who didn’t have the decency to divorce her first husband before she lined up the second one.”
“Oh, don’t you even start, Patty. I sent you the papers over and over. It was you who refused to sign them.”
“Correction. You got your lawyer to send me the papers. You never had the guts to end the marriage yourself. Not until now, anyway, and I guess I know why.”
Hearing it laid out like that makes the situation sound worse than it is, and Kat doesn't want Patrick to feel like he's disposable to her. He never was. He still isn't. This is as much for him as it is for her. They both need to move on.
“It’s not like that.”
“Oh, yeah? What’s it like, Kat? I haven't heard from you in years and when I do, all you want is my signature on a piece of paper.”
“Patrick…”
“No, Kat. You don’t get to come to my house and tell me what to do anymore.”
“Really? Last time I checked, my name is still on the lease.”
Patrick’s nostrils flare, and he lets out a dark chuckle. “You’re unbelievable, Kat.”
“There was a time when you liked that about me.”
“More fool me." Patrick folds his arms, his jaw clenching into a hard line.
"You know what?” Kat pushes down this urge she has to cry of all things. “I'm leaving. If you want to be a jerk, fine."
"Fine!" Patrick marches over to the front door and re-opens it, barely looking her way she pushes past him and saunters through.
Kat halfway down the driveway when she realises she's still holding onto Patrick's coat.
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After spending the morning catching up with her father in his new house, Kat mourns the loss of her childhood home. Her stuff is in storage, but she wishes she’d come back to Seattle when he told her he was selling up, if only to soak up the memories. Instead of going back to Bianca and Cameron’s, she heads to the local coffeehouse, Coffee Hut.
Kat’s sitting near the counter, scrolling through her Instagram feed and enjoying a chai latte when Patrick enters. He's in a soft-looking sweater and jeans, looking every bit the rugged, handsome man she fell for. This only serves to slide under her skin, leaving her inexplicably angry. Judging by the look on his face when he makes his way over, he feels the same way,
“Are you stalking me?” Patrick frowns. “Wait. Did I sign in blue ink instead of black? Or are there any other important documents you need me to sign?”
“Actually, yes. I want to sell you my share of the house.”
Patrick's mouth gapes open, like a fish blowing bubbles. “What? Why?”
“I don’t need it. Apparently, when people outgrow a place, they sell it and that’s it. And I figured if you ever sell, you could get your fair share.”
“I’m not exactly hurting for cash, babe.”
“Really?” Kat raises an eyebrow. "I guess you really have changed."
“I’m a parent now, remember. Responsibility kind of comes with the gig.”
Before she can reply, the coffeehouse door swings open and Cameron and Eckman come inside. Kat groans inwardly. The last thing she needs is an audience for whatever this conversation is about to be - unfortunately, she's too far gone.
Swivelling round to face Patrick again, she says, “You might have everyone around here fooled, but I know you, remember? You can barely look after yourself, let alone a child. Who are you kidding?"
There's a flash in Patrick's eyes, fiery anger with a splash of hurt. Kat's heart rattles against her rib cage and seriously, isn't this meant to make her feel better? Instead, it's ten times worse. She's not bringing the house down, she's pouring gasoline over it and tossing a match.
“Aren’t you supposed to be happy and engaged to your rich bloke? I have to say you seem hell-bent on raining on everyone else’s parade. Who are you kidding, Katarina?”
He used to do it all the time, reverting to her full name mid-argument, chastising her like she was a little girl. Maybe Patrick is in firestarter mode too.
“You never change, do you? You think you know everything. Good, old, Patrick. Mr Perfect with the stupid curly hair and come-hither eyes.”
“What’s wrong with that?” Patrick's grin is dark with a sprinkle of charm, the same annoying kind she fell before she knew better.
“What’s right with it?” Kat looks around, taking in the chipped paint on the walls and the faded tablecloths. “You’re just mad that I escaped from this hell. I got out. And you’re all stuck in the past, living your small, insignificant lives.”
“Okay, wait. This isn’t some hick town - we’re in Seattle,” Eckman blurts out. “Don’t you think you’re being harsh?”
“Harsh isn’t the word I’d use,” Cameron says. “Is that how you feel, Kat? About me? About your sister?"
Cameron, for all his faults, has always been solid. It takes his quiet condemnation for her to snap out of her verbal rampage, just in time for Patrick to deliver one last blow.
“Of course it is,” Patrick says. “None of us will ever live up to her impossible standards.”
With that he storms out, leaving Kat with a dejected Cameron when Eckman goes to place his order.
“Cam, I’m sorry.”
“Are you, Kat?” Cameron presses his lips together, refusing to meet her eyes. “Maybe you should go back to New York and live your big life.”
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Kat’s outburst in the coffee shop continues with her first serious argument with Bianca in years and ends with her apologising profusely. Somehow, both Cameron and Bianca forgive her. They even order takeout and have a nineties themed movie night with Lisa, leaving Kat wondering why she’s so strung out. Could it be that she misses being home more than she’s willing to admit to herself since she left?
"I think you owe one more person an apology," Cameron says before he turns in for the night. "He'll be at a bar called The Shrew. Let me know if you need me to call you an Uber."
Half an hour later, Kat finds Patrick is serving drinks when she arrives at The Shrew. She's wearing Patrick’s coat, shrugging it off when she takes a seat at the bar.
“If you’re here for another fight, I’m not interested,” he says without preamble. Kat takes it as a good sign that he at least acknowledged her.
“I’m here for a drink, actually.”
Patrick raises an eyebrow. “Let me guess, you want a Cosmopolitan.”
“Like you know how to make one.”
“Absolut Citron, Triple Sec, lime juice and a splash of cranberry. It’s not that hard. Contrary to your belief, we have those things here.”
“Okay. Maybe I oversold the whole small life thing. I didn’t mean what I said. Especially now that I’m standing here in this amazing bar.”
The Shrew is a mixture of modern and homey, a tavern-style bar with nautical maps and pictures of patrons on the walls. It’s well lit, with the lighting fixtures providing a dusky glow, adding to the relaxed atmosphere. Even the pool-table seems to mesh well, far enough from the bar that she’s able to hear the soft-rock music by the live band without the usual ruckus that comes with a highly charged game,
“I’ll take that as a rare compliment.” Patrick’s grin is genuine this time. “And I know you didn’t mean it.”
“It doesn’t make it okay, though. And I am sorry.”
“Apology accepted.” Patrick turns back to the bar and fills up a tankard of beer and slides it her way. “Want to talk about it?”
Taking a large gulp, Kat laughs when the foam tickles her nose and beer sloshes over the sides. Patrick’s mouth upturns at the left corner, and he leans across the bar and wipes her chin with a soft, paper napkin. Their eyes meet and something crackles in the air, leaving Kat more off-balance than before.
“Are you okay?” Patrick asks. “Is there something going on? Besides the whole divorce and wedding thing.”
When he puts it like that, it is a lot. Getting married is a marathon and adding the emotions that are coming with this divorce into the mix is leaving Kat in a very complicated and confusing place.
“Being back here is making me evaluate who I am and I’m realising that I don’t have all the answers. I’ve been feeling this constant pressure to be perfect, to be the best writer, girlfriend and fiancée, it’s exhausting. And then I come here and my sister and Cameron are living this wonderful life together and you… you’re doing much better than I expected.”
“Kat, you’ve been in more magazines and newspapers than I can count. At one point, you were on a billboard. Did it ever occur to you that we feel the same way? Like we don’t measure up to you.”
“Honestly? It didn’t. I’ve been so self-involved over the past few years. And now I’m marrying Derek, I guess I’m just nervous.”
“If it’s any consolation, there isn’t anything in this world that you can’t do if you set your mind to it. You’re brilliant, Kat. You always have been.”
"Thanks." Kat clears her throat, suddenly desperate to change tack. “So… Tell me about your daughter.”
“Uh, I started off fostering her and then I adopted her. That’s the short version, anyway."
“Can I hear the long version?” Kat asks, feeling the sting of being on the outside once more.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Patrick clears his throat. "I know this is weird to admit, but I think the reason Beth and I clicked so well is that she reminded me of you. And I always thought you'd come back, and we'd get back together and... have a family a different way. I thought you of all people would be for that. I never once thought you'd give up on us."
Leaving Patrick is the hardest thing she's ever done. And looking at him now, she can see the damage she caused. He was hurting too. He was just as lost as she was and… she left. Instead of grieving together, she made the choice for both of them and spent the past ten years pretending like it wasn't the biggest mistake of her life.
In the end, all she has is her truth.
"Maybe, when the chips are down... I'm just as vulnerable as everyone else," Kat says, with tears pricking the corner of her eyes. "I really wanted to have your children, Patrick. And it hurt that I couldn't. More than I thought was possible. I didn't want you to end up resenting me."
"That's why you left?" Patrick swallows hard. "Oh, Kat…"
"I'm sorry. Regardless of how I felt, I should have considered you. I should have put myself in your shoes."
"I don't know. It's not like I was the perfect husband. Who could blame you for leaving?"
Kat's mind drifts to Patrick's drunken antics, him sleeping until three in the afternoon; the arguments that came when she asked him what he was doing with his life. Through it all, she always believed he'd make something of himself. Part of her is sad she never got to see it.
"The main thing is that you're finally the man I always knew you would be."
Reaching across the bar, Patrick places his hand on top of hers. “That means a lot coming from you."
There's an awkward silence and Kat holds up the jacket he draped over her shoulders at the reunion. “I brought your coat back.”
Taking it from her, Patrick bites his lip and gives her a weak smile. “You could have just left this with Cam.”
“I know. But I’m glad I didn’t. We needed to have this conversation. It's been good seeing you, Patrick."
"You too, Kat."
━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━
She's waiting on the sidewalk for her Uber, when Patrick bursts through the doors, hair windswept like he did something crazy and hopped over the bar before running outside.
"Am I ever going to see you again?" he calls out, chest heaving like it’s taking everything in him to knock down his walls. To lay himself bare for the woman who broke his heart.
It's a loaded question. With Derek waiting for her in New York and her air miles, coming back to Seattle isn't on the cards. Bianca and Cameron are happy to come to her and her father is always passing through for various medical conferences.
Yet, her heart aches at the thought of never seeing him again, a stark reminder of why she avoids coming back. All the feelings she's locked away are spilling out, and it's like she doesn't know who she is anymore.
Patrick ambles forward, his mouth twisted with apprehension. He's unsure of himself, of the storm he's creating. He strokes her cheek, brushing a loose tendril of hair away and Kat's heart skips a beat, leaving her breathless in a way she's never been with Derek.
Unable to answer, she covers his hand with her own, willing herself not to cry.
Can she give this up? Settle for a comfortable life in New York over figuring things out with her first love?
Only time will tell.
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Kat returns to New York a week after the reunion, and she’s swept away by promotion for her current book release and keeping up appearances with Derek. Two weeks before the wedding, she finally gets the divorce papers to her lawyer, throwing enough money at him he promises to work as quickly as he can. Luckily, Patrick isn’t requesting alimony or spousal support so they can both move on once the paperwork is complete.
“You seem far away,” Derek remarks the day before their rehearsal dinner. Without waiting for an answer, he turns his attention back to their wedding planner. “Hey, Maria! Not those napkins!”
Maria doesn’t hide her grimace. “Kat picked these out two weeks ago.”
“We agreed on the ecru coloured napkins,” Derek says. “Kat will get over it, I’m sure.”
Ecru. Kat can hear Patrick laughing in her head, along with some choice words on people who micromanage their own weddings right down to every minor detail. Back then, a part of her always felt like she’d missed out on something, like Patrick owed her a dream wedding.
Now, she sees dreams can easily morph into full-blown nightmares.
The last conversation she had with Patrick lives rent free in her mind, creeping in when she least expects it. Circling over and over until she can no longer pretend she doesn't have an answer for his question.
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Kat throws herself into last-minute wedding preparation, ignoring all the second thoughts and doubt until an important call comes halfway through the rehearsal dinner, throwing her off balance. Biana keeps shooting her looks of concern, and even her father’s asked her if this is what she wants to do three times.
“Oh, come on, Dad. Derek is husband material, you told me yourself.”
“On paper, yes.” His brow furrows into his familiar perplexed expression. “But… if he doesn’t make you happy, Kat, none of this is worth it.”
“What is it?” Bianca’s hovering beside them now. “Is everything okay?”
“No.” Kat swallows hard, looking up at where Derek is in deep conversation with Cameron. “I don’t think I can do this.”
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Kat knocks on a familiar door, waiting for a few seconds before Patrick opens it. The first thing she spots is his flour covered ‘Super Dad!’ apron. Underneath the apron he’s wearing an argyle sweater which Kat can only assume was a gift from someone who hates him.
“Kat? What are you doing here?"
"I guess I wanted to see you again."
Patrick’s eyes flicker with recognition, and she knows he’s thinking about the last moment they shared.
"Is this a bad time?” Kat says when Patrick says nothing. “I can come back later."
"Uh…" Patrick glances back. "No. Come in. I just need to check on the girls and then we can chat.”
Following him through the hallway, they end up in the kitchen where Bethany and Lisa are mixing up a storm in matching aprons.
"Aunt Kat!" Lisa flies into her arms. Bethany hangs back, but Kat gives her a quick hug when Lisa lets go of her.
"What are you making here? Are we Breaking Bad?"
“We're making cookies,” Lisa says. “Do you want to help us?”
“Why don't you girls get cleaned up?” Patrick cuts in. “I’ll finish up here and call you when they’re done."
Once they're gone, he adds, "Cameron and Bianca are having a date night. It's kind of sickening how in love they still are."
Kat stifles a laugh. "Yeah, it really is."
"Anyway.” Patrick takes off his apron and wipes his hands down on a napkin. “What can I do for you?"
"I called off the wedding." Kat knows Cameron’s probably already told him, but she wants to see the look on his face.
"Why'd you do that?" Patrick is playing his cards close to his chest, his eyes unreadable and distant.
"I made it as far as the rehearsal dinner when my lawyer called and he told me there was an issue with the divorce papers.”
“Did I seriously use blue ink instead of black?” Patrick asks. “You could have just sent another copy.”
“About that…” Kat chuckles softly. “It turns out that I didn't sign them."
Something else floods Patrick's eyes, and Kat recognises it immediately.
Naked hope.
"You didn't sign them?”
"All those years I thought you were the one who couldn't let go, but maybe it was me. Maybe deep down, I never let go of you.”
"It wasn't just you." Patrick shrugs off his apron and sits across from her. "A year after you left, I came to get you. And… I just froze. You were at a book signing doing your thing and I’ve always known that you’re way out of my league, but that was the first time that I really felt like I wasn't good enough for you. So I came back here and made something of myself."
"You came to New York?"
The knot in Kat’s stomach multiplies, thoughts swirling around so fast that she feels light-headed. Why is this the first time she’s hearing this? There’s no way Cameron didn’t know, and he tells Bianca everything.
"Yeah. Wasn't really my scene." Patrick shrugs. "And you looked happy in a way I hadn't seen for a long time. I'd never jeopardise that."
"The only time I've ever been happy is when I'm with you." Kat hugs herself. "That's why I never came back. I knew that if I did… If I saw you… I'd be back in that classroom. Telling you the things I hate about you."
Patrick’s lips curve into a smirk. "The way I talk to you, and the way I cut my hair…."
"You remember?"
"Like I'd ever forget." Patrick’s smile takes on a softer note. “That was the moment I knew you were it for me.”
Kat’s chest hitches as she says, "I still don't hate you."
"Not even a little?"
"No." Kat takes a breath and lets herself go. "I love you. I always have. And if you'll have me…"
"I don't know, Kat.” Patrick glances towards the hallway, his brow furrowed with consternation. “I have to think about Bethany…"
As if on cue, a voice cuts in, saying, "Bethany says make out already!"
"Bethany, shhh!" Lisa calls out, making Kat and Patrick laugh. There’s a part of her that knows Patrick is a package deal now so it means a lot that Bethany is on board.
Maybe, just maybe, they can pull this off.
Kat turns away from the intrusion and meets Patrick’s eyes. "It looks like the lady has spoken."
"Well, then…” Patrick’s mouth twists up into a face-splitting grin. “I guess I'll be having you."
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They renew their vows next fall, surrounded by hues of orange and green. The reception follows at one of Patrick's bars. It’s the first time Kat’s been to this particular establishment, and there’s something about it she can’t shake. She waits until they're on the dancefloor, wrapped up in each other with eyes for nobody else.
"The name of the bar…" Kat asks. "How did you come up with it?"
Something flickers in his eyes, and she strokes his jaw gently. He smiles down at her, bringing his hand up to cover hers.
"Back when we were talking about kids, we had a conversation. About what we wanted. The names we'd pick… and you said that if we had a girl, you'd want to name her–"
Anguish floods her system, her throat constricting when the memory hits her with full force.
“–Indigo." Tears prickle the corner of her eyes. "I can't believe I forgot."
"You didn't, babe, you needed time to heal. You did what you had to do."
Kat isn’t sure how she got so lucky and Patrick’s acceptance only adds to it. He’s always loved her for who she is - flaws and all. Not a day goes by when she doesn’t wonder how she could give this up. Give them up.
"I love you, you know that?"
"Can I expect a follow up poem then? Ten things you love about me?"
"Play your cards right and you'll get more than that."
Patrick’s face breaks out into a wide grin, and Kat can’t help herself. Grabbing his tie, she pulls him into a deep, searing kiss, smiling when there’s a loud chorus of whoops and whistles around them,
Before she came back to Seattle, she was wide awake and her perfect sky was torn, but now?
Now it’s complete.
Fin.