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Quidditch Is For Losers

Summary:

Ginny Weasley’s Ultimate Awesome Life Plan™:
- Go To Hogwarts and Be Better Than Ron at Everything.
- Become Youngest House Player In A Century.
- Earn Universal Admiration for Quaffle Juggling and Brilliant Brilliance.
- Be Best Friends with Harry Potter.

*order of accomplishment may vary because: Pfft. Details.

Sometimes, life decides to bollocks up Ginny's plans.

Chapter 1: She Never Shuts Up Normally

Chapter Text

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Dear Ron,

Been 47 minutes since train pulled away.
Need IMMEDIATE confirmation:

  1. Boy on platform = Harry Potter. IF SO:
  2. Did you: speak with Harry Potter? IF SO:
  3. What’s Harry Potter’s Quidditch Team? IF CHUDLEY CANNONS:
  4. IMPOSTER!!!! In no reality is Real Harry Potter a loser Cannons fan.
  5. Lightning scar: fork left or right? Stories woefully unspecific.
  6. What house did Harry Potter get? Hope it’s Gryffindor. Seemed like a Gryffindor. Except for the nice manners.
  7. Ha Ha. Just kidding.
  8. Seriously: which house?

Get reply off tonight. Will sneak out after Mum and Dad are asleep to set up twinkle light runway for Errol.

Love,
Ginny

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Dear Ron,

Your reply must have gotten lost. My glorious twinkle light runway got entirely soggy. Gnomes found and used as muddy belly slide.

Percy wrote (boring stuff): “Blah-blah-blah prefect-prefect-prefect, also, Ron got sorted to Gryffindor with Harry Potter.”
Told you that you weren’t nice enough to be Hufflepuff. The lesson here is ALWAYS. LISTEN. TO. GINNY.

So, New Favorite Brother Who Is Roommate to Harry Potter:

  1. Which chocolate frog card is Harry Potter missing?
  2. Do I have it? Does he want to trade?
  3. Is Harry Potter really good at Defense Against the Dark Arts? (I bet he is.)


Love, G

P.S. Listen To Ginny = Best Rule Ever. Did you know five out of six Weasleys voted her Best Sister? (With one abstention)

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Dear Ron,

Dip quill into ink. Ink enough letters on scroll to make words. Address to GINNY. Attach to owl.

Also, D2 black pawn waves hello. So bored. Trying to teach whole chess set to play gobstones, but I’ve run into a few snags.

A Little Less Love Than Before,
Write Me Back,
Ginny

P.S. Harry Potter: Chess or Gobstones? I suspect gobstones but need confirmation.

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Ron,

Here’s a snippet from my day:
Mum: See? Knitting is fun.
Me: Can I go outside now?
Exasperated Mum: Don’t you want to finish the sleeve?
Me: Not really. Can I go outside now?
Firm Mum: It’s better to do it all at once so they match.
Me: Good to know. Can I go outside now?
Evil Mum: Go feed the chickens, then come back and finish the sleeve.

Honestly, Ron. Sometimes I beg her to let me practice my maths, that’s how bad it’s gotten.

Write me back.
Ginny

P.S. What’s Harry Potter’s favorite yarn color?

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Ronald.

Fred and George sent a seven-inch scroll, with two-inch writing.
All I know is “Wood found new Char-“ because that’s where they ran out of space.
They also didn’t send toilet seat they promised. Had plans for that.

Hex them, then write me, describing painful boils in great detail.

Ginny

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To My Least Favorite Brother,

You suck at writing.
I chased the ghoul into your room and he oozed all over everything orange.
Sorry Not Sorry.

Signed,
Too-Amazing-to-Ever-Speak-To-You-Again-Christmas-Will-Be-So-Awkward-You-Git

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