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Having just finished NEWTs, they decided to celebrate. Nothing too big, they were tired after all. Not that it would stop James and Sirius from throwing a party but Remus had insisted that it would be a disaster. The party would have to end early, nobody had bought booze, and Merlin forbids the Marauders would fail at having fun.
Therefore, it was only them. Remus, Peter, Sirius and James. They had managed to sneak some food in despite the hour and Peter got them Firewisky, nobody knew where he got it from. Nobody really cared, either. It was perfect. Finally, they could relax and lose themselves in conversations, jokes and late hours.
At some point, the topic moved on to failed crushes they had had.
“Can we stop bringing back my marvellous yet disastrous proposals?” James said from where he was laying, his head resting on Sirius’ lap.
“Not likely. They are hilarious.” Peter passed the bottle to Remus.
“Alright, let’s leave the man alone.” Sirius messed James’ hair.
“Easy for you to say. You have never been rejected.” Peter was right, of course, but that didn’t mean he had to know.
“Still, I am an empath. I understand James’ position and feelings.” Remus snorted but didn't say anything. Sirius knew this happened when he was trying to pass unnoticed.
“How kind of you,” James grumbled. “You must have been said ‘no’ at least once. ”
“Nah, I attract, I don’t seek,” Sirius smirked. “And anyway, it’s not like you don’t get with girls. James, you are the perfect boyfriend.”
“He cooks, plays sports and is smart,” Peter counted with his fingers, amazed. He was clearly drunk.
“Aw, Wormy. Cheers. You are also a catch!” They were both grinning now, feeling loved. Ew.
Sirius cleared his throat. “And what about Moony?”
The other two turned to him. “What about me?” Remus had been picking the bottle’s label until then, listening but not participating.
“Don’t bother him, he isn’t much of a romantic.” James hit Sirius’ knee lightly.
“But,” Peter perked up at a thought. "He did fancy Benjy some months ago.”
When Remus looked away, Sirius grinned, triumphantly. Got you.
“Oh, yeah,” James said. “It's a shame it didn’t work, though. Seemed like you were getting close. Talking more to him and even going to Hogsmeade.”
Remus took a generous sip of booze before answering. He was getting prepared. Sirius’ stomach dropped at his smirk. “Who said it didn’t work?” Illogically, Sirius didn’t want to talk about Remus’ love life anymore.
“Pardon?” Peter had always loved gossip.
“I didn’t have a crush on him. Wanted to get off and knew he liked blokes too. Next question?” Peter had a look of admiration, and James was as surprised as a parent would be when they find out their child is shagging.
“But with Benjy?!” Sirius almost shouted. “He is not even attractive.” Remus raised an eyebrow, amused.
“No offence, he is a great guy and an incredible Quidditch player but you are way out of his league, Moony.” Peter nodded.
Knowing his friends disliked Benjy, or at least, disliked the idea of Remus with him, made Sirius feel supported. Preferred. It was stupid but he was relieved.
“No, I’m not.” Remus snorted. “And anyway, I don’t care. I just wanted to get laid.”
“You are so gay it actually hurts, Lupin,” Sirius, Peter and James laughed while Remus had a piercing look. Almost like a challenge.
An hour later, Peter and James had gone to sleep. Deciding to be decent roommates, Sirius and Remus stayed in the common room. The former reading and the latter smoking and thinking.
“I don’t understand how you drooled over Benji,” He put out the cigarette. “I had forgotten about it.”
Remus hummed without bothering to look at him.
“I mean, don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with you being gay,” Sirius stretched his legs and ignored the alarms going off in his head, warning him he was too close to a sensitive topic about himself. Doubts and denial. (two Ds, the third one being the one ignored) “And yet I don’t get it.” He meant Benjy, not being gay, however, he had not specified.
When Remus closed his book, Sirius realized his mistake: Remus thought Sirius didn’t get fancying blokes.
“Really, Black?” Remus asked with a teasing smile. Abandoning the novel, he walked towards the armchair where Sirius was sitting on. “Because I heard a rumour or two about you,” His gaze took its time to take Sirius’ body in. “Swinging both ways.” No, he thought, how could it be possible? Did someone know about his darkest thoughts?
Something must have given his panic away because Remus, rested a knee in the small space between Sirius’ legs and slowly slid it further in. He cursed internally when the bottom of his stomach got warmer. However hard he tried, he couldn’t stop thinking about the little contact their legs had. Sirius wanted it to disappear and never stop at the same time.
Remus’ hands grasped the wooden armrests and slowly leaned forward while saying: “Isn’t that simply hilarious?” His eyes were amber, yes, but now they seemed darker and alluring. It hypnotized Sirius, as if he was unable to control himself. This hadn’t happened before. Not with girls, not accidentally with another boy.
Trying to gain composure, he looked for something else to look at, anything. Unfortunately, it was impossible to direct his eyes at anything but the beautiful boy in front of him. His freckles scattered, his curls falling, his scar, his crooked nose, his lips- Oh no, Sirius was staring at his lips. His soft lips shaped into a cocky grin so unfamiliar in Remus.
Not only were his lips and the heat of his knee distracting Sirius, but his whole body was leaning closer. His heart was beating hard and he prayed that Remus didn’t feel it despite the few inches separating them.
His reserved, bookish, quiet friend that spent his time in the library or alone smoking, was now taking control. Confidence had taken over Remus, awkwardness was long forgotten. It seemed that Remus knew this field well.
“Isn’t the thought of you with a boy simply crazy?” Their faces were now too close to be considered platonic. What about any of this was platonic? Certainly not the way Remus was looking at his mouth. “Just imagine, your pretty lips pressed against another boy’s and your tongue in his throat.” Without meaning to, Sirius’ lips parted and his breathing became shallow. Remus mimicked him and breathed out every word. “Or maybe think about his hands pulling your hair.” Remus’ hand found its way to the back of Sirius’ head, his long fingers intertwined with his locks. He guided his mouth impossibly closer to his. Then Remus continued murmuring, slow but strong. “Your bodies pressing together, skin on skin, him on top of you sucking on your neck and then your chest, and your abdomen, and your hips, and…” He let it linger for a few seconds before laughing lowly. “But that would be mental, wouldn’t it?” Remus pulled apart, smirking at Sirius’ situation, and picked up his book again.
“Be careful with those rumours, Black, or people will start believing you are so gay it hurts.”