Chapter Text
A faint tinge of daylight peaked around the edges of Ben Solo’s curtains as he lay stretched out on his bed, his left hand clasping his forehead trying to will away the thumping sore head that had awoken him. He sat up, wincing as he clutched the ribs on his left side with his right hand, and stopped to inhale deep breaths to ease the pain. He looked down at his ribs, gasping at the bruises along his side and stomach and at the cuts and grazes on the back of his knuckles.
“Fuck” he groaned to himself.
Suddenly, his bedroom door burst open and he was greeted with the unholy sight of his mother in full fury, waving her cellphone in the air.
“Mom, what the fuck…”, he shouted, as he grabbed his sheet and pulled it over his groin quickly in an attempt at modesty.
“Benjamin, how could you?” Leia shrieked.
“How could I what?” he retorted.
“…..How could you do this”
“…..what the fuck are you”
“…..to your father and I?”
“…..doing in my apartment?
“…..why are you sending me
“…..I gave you that key”
“…..photos of a child?”
“…..in case of emergencies”
“…..who is this child?”
“…..what are you going on about?
“….is this your child?”
Ben roared in frustration, his head pounding,
“MOM! what. the. fuck. are. you. going. on. about?”
Leia paused, her hand still clutching the cellphone, frozen in mid-air. She scowled and squinted her eyes, walking slowly towards her son. She thrust the cellphone inches from his face and hissed, “This! This is what I’m talking about.”
Ben stared at his mother and slowly turned his gaze towards the phone. He took it from Leia’s outstretched hand. The screen was black and he turned it over and back again in confusion. He raised his eyebrows and scoffed, “And what am I supposed to be looking at mother?”
Leia snatched the phone back, “Don’t get flippant with me, young man” she scolded as she scrolled through and brought up a photo of a young girl with jet black wavy hair, hazel eyes and mischievous smile. She looked to be about 5 years old.
She held the phone in front of Ben’s face again, “Who is this child? If this is your way of telling me I have a grandchild that you kept secret from me, I won’t be responsible for my actions, Benjamin Organa Solo!”
The colour drained from Ben as he stared at the girl’s face. He could see the similarity between them - the dark hair and pillowy lips. The same eyes but different colour. He glanced up at his mother, her face pain stricken at the thought of a grandchild concealed from her. He looked back at the phone as he sank slowly further back on his bed.
“Mom, what’s going on? Where did you get this photo? I don’t know who this child is. I swear I’m not hiding any children from you,” he replied, the distress in his voice echoing the look on his face.
“It came from your number, and it’s not the only one.” Leia watched her son’s confused reaction and the anger in her body drained in an instant. She reached over and swiped her finger across the screen and several images came into view, “It looks like she took the picture herself.”
“How did it come from my number? I have my phone here” he said as he stretched over to his nightstand, trying to place his hand on something that wasn’t there.
“Shit! My phone. Where is it?” He looked up Leia with a distressed look on his face.
Leia reached over and placed her hand gently on Ben’s unshaven face. “I’ll make us coffee. I think we both need some.”
***
Ben quickly threw on sweat pants as his mind replayed the conversation with Leia and the pictures of the little girl. He franticly searched his bedroom and the laundry basket in his bathroom in a desperate attempt to find his phone but the nagging feeling he had in his gut told him it was lost.
He made his way to the kitchen where Leia was making coffee. Her eyes widened in alarm as she took in the sight of her son battered and bruised.
“Ben, what happened to you? There’s blood on your mouth and you’re black and blue” she exclaimed as she reached out to touch his ribs. Ben put out his hand to stop her and took a step back.
“I’m fine Mom, just a bit sore. I had another run in with First Order last night. They were trying to abduct some poor kid from the street along from the Chandrilla Club. I saw what they were doing and stepped in. I managed to get them free and they ran off but I think I won second prize this time. Worth it though” he said with a laugh and a shrug before devolving into a coughing fit. He clutched his ribs and groaned.
Leia looked on sympathetically. She knew Ben’s proclivity for defending those weaker than him, especially if he got a jab into the First Order at the same time and she had often wondered which was more important to him.
“Please tell me you will go to the doctor this time and make sure they aren’t broken” she asked softly.
“Don’t need to, I know they are” he smirked as he shook his head.
Leia sighed, “Did you call the Police?”
“Nope, there’s no point. They’re not interested in gangs. As far as they’re concerned, if one is dead and one is locked up, that’s two less assholes to worry about.”
Leia huffed and shook her head.
“I wish you would stop antagonising First Order. One day you’re going to get into something way over your head and I’ll lose you all over again.”
Ben reached out his arm and wrapped it around Leia’s shoulder. He pulled her into a gentle hug and kissed the top of her head. It always amazed him how a woman so petite and refined could produce a child as monstrously tall and wide as him.
“I’m not going anywhere Mom. I’ve been clean six years now since I broke away from Snoke and the First Order, I just like to mess with them every now and again.”
“Yeah? Well one day they’ll mess right back with you and there won’t be another ‘again’.”
“Okay Mom, I hear you. How about that coffee now?”
***
They both sat at the small table in the corner, silently watching their mugs and fidgeting nervously.
Leia cleared her throat and caught Ben’s eye. “I …I’m sorry for bursting in on you like that. I …I just had to know what…what was going on” she stammered, tears pooling in the corners of her eyes.
Ben reached over and placed his hand gently on top of hers on the table. “It’s okay Mom, you just caught me by surprise, that’s all.”
“Thank you Son,” she replied, her eyes softening, a sad smile dancing at the corner of her lips.
Ben watched as she wiped the corners of her eyes reminding him of the last time he saw her cry - six years ago, to be precise. He had woken in extreme pain with a tube down his throat, wires attached to his chest and lines in his arms pumping drugs into his collapsed system. He had been admitted into the ICU at Chandrilla General after being found near dead on the streets - his final day as Kylo Ren, Enforcer Extraordinaire at First Order.
His memories of his time as Kylo Ren were patchy at best. Although he did his best to keep busy every day, sometimes, when he let his mind wander, the memories would come surging back from nowhere like a tsunami. The worst times were always at night. Night terrors would keep him awake for days at a time, convincing himself that he was losing his mind. His therapist had told him that he suffered from PTSD but he was too ashamed to admit that he still missed the violence. He would spend days, weeks even, driving around the city at night for the chance to disrupt the workings of the First Order. They thought he was dead when they dumped him on the streets six years ago and he was very happy to keep it that way. Most of the goons that he had worked with were dead or had moved on but he kept a mask in the pocket of every jacket and coat and in his car just in case.
Six years ago he had clawed his way back to being Ben Solo, back to his family. Four years ago, Snoke had been assassinated in what they thought was an inside job. The ‘Supreme Leader’ Palpatine now lived in his tacky palace on the other coast and was suffering from dementia. The only one left to identify him was Hux, who always kept a low profile. He never did his own dirty work on the streets, he had others to do his bidding, occasionally bring some poor soul to his compound so he could spend days torturing them before they succumbed to their injuries.
“Ben, Ben, are you listening to me?”
Ben felt his mother’s hand shake him gently and he blinked as he faced his mother’s concerned look.
“I’m sorry Mom, I was just thinking. Does Dad still use a cellphone?”
“Yes, he does,” Leia replied, somewhat puzzled.
“Can I borrow your phone while I work out what’s going on and I can contact you on Dad’s phone?” Ben asked with a spark of hope in his eyes.
“Of course,” Leia replied quickly. Her look turned suspicious when she asked, “What are you up to?’
“Nothing illegal, don’t worry. I just need to make a few enquires while I track down my phone.”
“Okay Son, but please be careful and let me know the instant you find anything out….”
They both stood and Ben bent down to Leia a kiss on the cheek. “I love you Mom, for everything you do and everything you’ve done for me.
“I love you too Ben. Just don’t do anything stupid.”
Ben laughed and watched as Leia grabbed her keys and left. He stood for a moment and picked up his mother’s phone that she left on the table. He pulled up the picture of the girl, gazing at his little doppelgänger.
“Right kid, we’ll start with you.”
***
The previous night:
Rey thanked the Gods that the night air was cold and damp as she pulled the hood of her jacket tight about her face. She had picked this particular one for its extra large hood which extended beyond her head and made it impossible for anyone to identify her when it was pulled tight. The biting wind nipped at her face and she shivered, wrapping her other arm around her body to keep warm. The streets of Chandrilla were quiet, most people at home keeping warm she thought.
She hadn’t sneaked out of the compound in almost a year, trying to prove she was trustworthy and docile. Hux wasn’t very forgiving at the best of times and she didn’t want a repeat of the punishment she received the last time she was caught. She had promised herself that one day she would wipe the smirk from his face permanently but it wouldn’t do to rile him up now - not since she had heard whispers from the staff that Kylo Ren may still be alive.
She didn’t dare to believe the rumours at first. She had tried to listen to passing conversations as they returned from ‘jobs’. Late night strolls around the complex and trips to the kitchen gave her plenty of opportunities to build a picture of what was going on. As far as she could make out, someone was making trouble for the First Order by attacking the men and sabotaging their jobs. She had heard whispers - some said he was tall, another said he was well built. More rumours - he wears a mask, someone saw dark hair.
Hux, in his hubris, didn’t believe the rumours and mocked his men. He arrogantly claimed he had killed Ren himself and this had made her planning a little easier. Her daughter, Kira, was still sweetly unaffected by the malevolence in the compound which had worsened since her grandfather had been diagnosed with dementia. A power struggle had ensued and Snoke had mysteriously died, the details being hushed up. Not even she knew the truth although all fingers pointed to Hux. His ambition was going to be his downfall if she had anything to do with it.
Once Hux secured his power as the new leader of First Order, he had kept her and her daughter virtual prisoners within the compound. Kira had private tutors so she didn’t have to attend school. They were only allowed to leave in the company of Hux or the security detail he had employed. She had no cellphone or access to the internet. The only people she could interact with were personally vetted by him. He kept her completely cut off from the outside world.
The sound of a car behind her pulled her from her thoughts as she made her way to Chandrilla Club. She had heard mentions of the club from staff and thought it may be a good place to start her search for Kylo. There were a few people milling about outside the club, smoking cigarettes and huddling together to keep warm. Rey’s heart lightened as she got closer, a rising feeling of hope that this might be the start of the rest of her life.
She should’ve known not to hope as a blanket was thrown over her head and she was grabbed from behind. She screamed “No,” as she struggled violently with the hands gripping her. She kicked and twisted, screaming and trying to attract attention. She could hear the grunts of the men trying to drag her into a car. She recognised them from the compound. Suddenly the grip loosened and she struggled free, grabbing the blanket and yanking it from her head.
The sight she was greeted with astounded her. Four of Hux’s men had turned their attention from her to a single man - tall, well-built and wearing a mask, who was currently dishing out blows. Two men were quickly knocked to the ground whilst the two remaining were giving as good as they got. Rey backed away, aware that Hux’s men had almost forgotten about her in their quest for blood.
And she ran, she ran for her life.
She ran onto some waste ground and hid behind an empty building hoping the dark would conceal her, her heart bursting out of her chest, as she gasped and struggled to breathe.
How could it be? Was that really Kylo? It was all such a blur with so many things happening at once. She sank to the ground as the adrenalin left her body and she began to shake. Within seconds her body was wracked with deep sobs as six years of grief and fear burst from within.
She let herself cry for several minutes before a steely sense of resolve settled within her. Wiping her eyes she took several deep breaths and considered her options. There was really only one - sneak back into the compound and pretend she never left. Hux was away for a few days so she had some breathing space before the shit hit the fan.
It was a good plan she thought as she found herself walking in the opposite direction back towards the Chandrilla Club. She didn’t know what to expect - would Hux’s staff still be there looking for her? Would Kylo be there, lying injured somewhere? She kept to the shadows as she thought about how she could convince Hux that the staff were mistaken, that she had never left the compound. Slowing as she got closer to the Club, she hid in a doorway as she looked up the street to find it was completely empty.
On shaky legs, she walked up to the doorway of the Club and stopped, panic rising in her throat. She turned on her heels and began walking back in the direction of the compound, her survival instincts telling her to get back as soon as possible. She began to run, trying to get there before Hux’s henchmen returned but something caught her eye. Lying in the gutter, partly obscured by a parked car was a cellphone. She looked about to see if anyone was watching and then picked it up, stuffing into her pocket and running off.
Rey thanked the Gods again, as she jumped down from the top of the wall into the gardens of her prison. She silently made her way to the side door she had left unlocked and creeped into her apartment. She checked on Kira who was still, thankfully, sound asleep. She wedged the phone between her mattress and boxspring and changed into pyjamas. She climbed into bed and pulled the covers over her head. And waited.
She didn’t have to wait long. She estimated ten minutes before she heard the slamming of car doors and shouts coming from outside. She lay rigid in bed in anticipation until someone banged on her door.
Rey got out of bed and wrapped her dressing gown about her. She opened her front door, yawning and checking her watch. Two very pissed off men stared at her.
“What’s wrong guys? Why are you getting me out of bed at this ungodly hour?” She asked with a little irritation in her voice.
The shorter one leaned forward, “Miss Palpatine, we had a report that you were seen in Chandrilla tonight.”
Rey looked at them with surprise and scoffed, “What a ridiculous suggestion. As you can plainly see, I’ve been at home all night with my daughter.” She looked at her watch again, “It’s almost 1am and you got me out of my bed for this nonsense?”
The smaller one shuffled nervously on his feet as the taller one looked away.
“What? Have you got nothing to say? Well, as I am obviously here, I’m going back to bed and you had better hope to God that you have not woken up my daughter.” With that, Rey closed her door and turned the key in the lock.
She held her breath until she heard their footsteps retreat and let out a huge sigh of relief. She rushed back to her room and pulled the phone from its hiding place. She paced a few steps with it in her hand. It was an iPhone, password protected with fingerprint ID.
“Right, I’ll just try a few numbers for the password and see if it works,” she said to herself as she climbed back into bed.
“So, what are the obvious numbers? 1,2,3,4 or 6789?”
Rey tried the obvious numbers and a few more without luck. Not tempted to lock herself out of the phone, she placed it on her nightstand to try again in the morning. She settled back down into bed willing the adrenaline to abate so she could get some sleep.
***
With not a little trepidation, Ben pressed the video call button on his Mom’s phone. He waited as it rang and rang.
“Come on, pick up,” he muttered anxiously. He was about to hang up when he heard a muffled sound followed by a child’s voice.
“Hello, who is it?” trilled the little voice.
“Hey kid, my name is Ben. Can you hold the phone up in front of you so I can see you.”
“Sure,” replied the little voice as Ben got a view of wall.
“Kid, can you turn the camera around so I can see you,” Ben replied.
“Wait a minute,” she replied as she waved the camera about the room. A few seconds later, a mop of tousled black hair came into view. “Can you see me now Mister?”
“I can see the top of your head, can you lower the phone a bit?”
Ben watched the phone lowering as a little face came into view, “That’s perfect, I can see you now. Can you see me?”
“Yes,” she replied sweetly.
“That’s awesome. Do you know why I’ve called you?” Ben asked
She shook her head.
Ben continued, “Well, I lost my phone last night and I think maybe your mom or dad picked it up and brought it home.”
“Oh, is this your phone Mister?”
“Yes it is, and my name is Ben. Is your mom or dad there?” Ben asked hopefully.
“My mom is here. I don’t have a dad, he died before I was born.”
“Oh I’m sorry kid. Can I speak to your mom please?”
“My name isn’t kid, it’s Kira.” She retorted quite indignantly.
“I’m sorry for calling you kid, Kira. Can I speak to your mom please?”
“Sure Ben, I’ll just go get her.”
Ben watched as the phone was swung from side to side as Kira walked into another room.
“Mommy, mommy, Ben wants to talk to you,” called Kira as she held the phone up to her Mom.
Rey was changing as she heard her daughter’s sing song voice enter her bedroom. “What did you say sweetheart?” she asked.
Kira held up the phone so her mom could see Ben. “It’s Ben, he wants to talk to you.”
Rey shrieked as she realised she was naked and the camera was facing her. “Kira, give the phone to Mommy, quickly,” as she reached out and yanked it from Kira’s hand and ran into the bathroom, locking it behind her.
Rey’s stomach flipped as she heard the voice from the phone calling “hello, is there anyone there?” A voice she heard in her dreams, and her nightmares.
She slowly raised the phone to her face. “Kylo?” she whispered, daring to dream.
A sharp intake of breath followed by one word,
“Rey?”