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It wasn't the nightmares that woke him up, not this time, at least. Regulus blankly stared at the ceiling for a few seconds until he recognized the soft clanging that could only come from James cooking in their kitchen. Their kitchen, because it was theirs, just like the bed he was lying down in, just like the house they were both in at the moment. Sixteen year old Regulus Black would have chalked it up as another dream, one of the few good ones but nineteen year old Regulus Potter knew better, knew that just this once, he'd gotten what wanted, what he needed.
He gave himself a couple of minutes to just lay there and during those, he remembered exactly why James was in the kitchen, instead of still being next to him, lulling him into waking, like he normally did. Today marked one year to the day that the tides of the war had changed, and they had changed because of him, and because of Kreacher, though the elf still insisted to go on like the occurrence never happened.
Everything had started in Grimmauld Place, just like most of the wretched experiences in Regulus’ life. It was actually his last day in the house, though he only knew that for certain when, after lunch was done, his mother had ordered him to prepare himself to receive the greatest honour ‘their Lord’ would give anyone before dinner. Despite popular belief in his family, Regulus Arcturus Black was not a fool, nor was he a puppet, he knew exactly what that meant, what they had tried to force Sirius into, what they were about to turn him into.
What Walburga did not know was that the year before, he had promised himself that if it ever came down to it, he would do as his brother did, not out of spite or because he hated his family but because he would not survive while bowing down to a megalomaniac. Regulus had met the Dark Lord once before, when he was fourteen, and he knew exactly what the others saw in him, he was charming, and very powerful, it was difficult to think much while in his presence but just as Voldemort had left, so had all the influence he’s exerted on Regulus, who swore to never allow himself to fall under someone’s spell like that again.
Going back to that day, Regulus very quickly repacked everything he had taken out of his trunk, along with as many books as he could fit and quietly made his way to the front of the house. With his father was in his study and his mother in her bedroom, it was safe to say his absence wouldn’t be noted until they came to fetch him but as he was about to leave, his guilt won him over, so he called Kreacher, who almost gave him away, however, Regulus was faster, quickly ordering his to not say a thing to his parents and to come to him, wherever he was, if he thought he was in danger of truly dying,
Which was why in the early midnight hours of July, a year and a half after said order was given, Kreacher showed up in the cottage Fleamont and Euphemia had given Regulus and James after their engagement. There was a lot of confusion and surprise that night, but at the end of it all, Regulus nursed the house-elf back to health and sent him on his way. After two weeks of heavy research, and coming across one of the books he had appropriated (not stolen , James, because he doesn’t steal ), Regulus was armed with knowledge that he would never wish upon anyone.
That was why, when decided to tell James about it, - because he might be staying as far away from the war as possible but this was not something you just kept quiet about - he only gave him the bare bones of what a Horcrux was and how truly horrific it’s mere existence was. For as oblivious as James could be sometimes, he knew Regulus well enough at that point to let him get away with it and just go to the Order with that information, and leave Regulus at home, fretting about a number of other things to distract himself from it.
Whatever Dumbledore and his people did with the information was none of Regulus’ business, nor did he want to know. He’d been quite clear about his choice when the old Headmaster tried to recruit him for the first time, and no amount of disappointed stares or eye twinkles would be enough to change his mind about it. If Sirius’ tantrum when he found out Regulus was entirely abstaining from the war, apart from brewing healing potions when needed, had not been enough to dissuade him, nothing would.
That just lead to another reason why Regulus loved James Potter so much, because while his own brother had incessantly called him a coward and denounced him once again, James had looked at him in the eye and accepted it, not begrudgingly, but as if he already knew that would be his choice.
(He did know. James had known since the morning after Regulus had shown up on his doorstep. He had grappled with it for the remainder of his seventh year and truly came to accept it during his Auror training, while Regulus was still stuck at Hogwarts. He did not think the Slytherin was a coward, because he had seen the look in his eyes when he let his guard down around James and only around James. Regulus was tired, he was sixteen and carried this bone deep exhaustion that made James’ heart hurt for him, it made him want to make everything that had happened to the younger boy disappear. But he couldn’t do that, no one would be able to, so he did what he could do, which was to support Regulus’ decision, no matter what it was, as long as it soothed him, and made the weight behind his eyes, not disappear, but lighten, at least a little.)
Regulus’ moment of contemplation came to an abrupt stop as a clear and loud “Fuck!” was heard from the kitchen, followed by a significantly quieter “Shit!”, both coming from the man he was sure was the love of his life. Chuckling to himself, for if it was something to be worried about he would be hearing footsteps going up the stairs, Regulus slowly but surely made his way through his morning routine, out of the main bedroom and down the stairs, into the kitchen.
In the kitchen, he was greeted with what could easily compete as one of his favourite sights in the world. James Potter, wearing only his pyjama pants and the ridiculous apron Regulus had gotten him as a joke, with his back to him, pouring two cups of tea. As soon as James put the kettle down, Regulus wrapped his arms around his husband’s waist, lightly pecking his shoulder before closing his eyes and laying his head on it.
“Morning, love.” James hummed, and without needing to open his eyes, Regulus knew he was smiling. “Did I wake you up?”
“No, already up, came to see you.” Regulus mumbled in a way that would’ve left him with no breakfast three years earlier. It didn’t matter anymore though, because he wasn’t there anymore, and was never going back.
“How sweet of you to leave the comforts of bed to come see little old me.” A remark of this kind would normally cause Regulus to roll his eyes at his lover but this time, he simply smiled.
“It is, isn’t it? The things I do for you.” The forlorn sigh was probably what made James break, his whole body, and therefore Regulus’, shaking with his laughter.
The morning would continue in a similar fashion, and so would the mornings that followed it, even when James got back to work from their honeymoon, and Regulus unpaused his pursuit for his Ancient Runes mastery. It didn’t really matter what was happening outside of their little cottage, because they had each other, no matter what, and that’s always what really matters to them.