Chapter Text
Miles Edgeworth did not cry.
Sure, maybe when he was a small child, or before…that incident, but not far after. A certain former prosecutor had made sure of that.
He was, however, willing to concede that he was human, and all humans needed to take a break to process their silly emotions sometimes. Even if said break tended to be in between court sessions, in the middle of a long recess, on a side stairwell where nobody ever walked.
His heart hammered as he approached his normal spot. It had been thumping so loud in the actual courtroom, he’d been sure the judge would call order any second. His hands were shaking. Ridiculous, he thought, stuffing them in his pockets. Jaw clenched, he shuffled past jury members, attorneys, and spectators in the hall. The noise around him started to grow louder and louder, his ears filling with an intense pressure, that would only stop if he got out of here-
Finally, he turned the corner. Instant (though not total) relief washed over him. The noise around him began to dissipate, his ears now being filled with only the sound of his own pounding heartbeat.
As his hand fumbled for the stair railing as not to completely fall over, his knees hit the plush red carpet of bottom step, and he fell into a sitting position. Ice water still flooded his veins, but at least now he was somewhere where nobody could see if he-
Tears. A too familiar wetness sprung up in his eyes. Dammit.
Weak. He could practically hear his former mentor snap. Hand grasping his chest, his head fell in between his knees as he tried to steady his ragged breathing. It was fine. Everything was going to be fine-
This entire ordeal was completely unnecessary, anyway. It had only been a mere moment in court that had set him off. He certainly didn’t need to-
“Mr. Edgeworth?”
His head shot up, his heart dropping in his chest. Through blurry eyes, he was just able to make out the form of a Miss Maya Fey, clothed in her usual spirit medium attire, holding a small white bag in her hand.
Hand still gripping the fabric of his suit, his eyes stared up at her. “M-Miss Fey. Hello-“
“A-are you crying?” She began, her voice laced with concern.
Oh, great. Just wonderful. This was exactly what he’d been trying to avoid.
“I-I’m perfectly, fine, Miss Fey.” He tried, the annoyance cutting clear through his involuntary stammer. His voice shook so badly, he wanted to strangle himself. How dare it give him away like that? “I a-assure you, there is no reason to w-worry, I-“
The bag she was holding hit the floor, and suddenly, she was on her knees in front of him. “Wh-what happened?” She said quickly, “Do you want me to get Nick-?”
“No.” He snapped. The absolute, utter last thing he needed was for Phoenix Wright, of all people, to see him like this. Sure, maybe they’d been the best of friends once-upon-a-time, but those days were long past. Now, their relationship was…complicated. Besides, Wright would be sure to overreact, and pester him about telling him what was wrong. Then, even though Miles would try to hide it, Wright would somehow pull the truth out of him, like he always did, and Miles would probably end up crying-
No. Absolutely not.
Even then, they were rivals, for Pete’s sake. Why would Fey even suggest it? Honestly, he thought she was supposed to be an intelligent girl-
“Okay, okay.” She promised, “Just take it easy. Are you hurt?”
“N-no.”
“Did something happen that I need to alert the authorities?”
“No.”
“…Was there an Earthquake?”
“Honestly, Miss Fey.” He said, internally wincing that she still remembered that fun fact about him, “If there was an Earthquake, don’t you think you would have felt it?”
She rolled her eyes at the sudden snark. “I dunno, maybe it was an earthquake only uptight prosecutors could feel.”
Choosing to ignore her comment, he sighed. “Please Miss Fey, I am fine. I only need a moment. Please continue on with your day“
Her eyes narrowed. “You don’t look fine.”
Ah, yes. There was that good old fashioned Fey-bluntness. He would have objected, if he wasn’t having such a hard time getting words to come out. Instead, he simply rolled his eyes. His hands met his knees, and he began quickly pushing himself back up into a standing position. “I a-appreciate your concern, but everything is-
All of a sudden, the room spun, and his legs betrayed him, suddenly beginning to act as though they were made of paper. Instantly, Miss Fey’s hand was on his arm, trying to steady him as gravity pulled him back down onto the step.
“Easy there, jello legs.” She said, easing him back down. “Just take a second and breathe.”
He huffed, unsure if it was a response to her demand or him obeying it. Head back between his knees, he tried to close his eyes and think. However, as soon his eyes shut, he was back in the courtroom, staring down into the eyes of the witness-
“Edgeworth.” Miss Fey’s voice snapped him back to reality once again. “Listen to me. Don’t think about it right now.”
He had to physically restrain himself from rolling his eyes again. “Miss Fey-“
“I’m serious.” She said, “Mia once told me that when you’re having an anxiety attack, you can’t try to rationalize your thoughts, ‘cause that part of your brain isn’t working right now. So stop giving it space, and try thinking about it later.”
An anxiety attack. Was that what this was? Well, it fit the medical description-
“Just try and push it away for now.” She said, “Then try coming back when you’re calm.”
“How do I…?”
“Try to think of something else.”
Another almost eye-roll. “Like what?”
“I….don’t know.” She admitted, glancing around. Her eyes fixated on his briefcase, which was lying all but completely discarded off to the side of the stairwell. Suddenly, a small smirk came to her face. “You like Signal Samurai?”
His eyes found the case as well. Sure enough, his little silly red decade-old keychain was hanging from the side of it. Great, now there was another thing she was going to make fun of him for.
“It…it was a gift.” He said, “I…I was quite a fan of the series as a child.”
“Huh.” Maya Fey replied. She was quiet, and for a moment, Miles was half convinced she was going to get up and leave him to wallow in his misery. But then-
“That’s interesting. Nick always teased that you had bad taste, but I thought he meant in clothes, not in cartoons.”
His head shot up, his mouth agape. “Wh-wha-?”
Her smirk had turned to a full on smug grin. “I mean, c’mon. Signal Samurai? That one’s soooooo old. Steel Samurai is way better.”
He could not believe his ears. “That’s ridiculous. Signal Samurai is a classic.”
She shrugged. “Sure, if you like basic plot lines and predictable endings. Plus, the production value is garbage.”
“The production value has nothing to do with the show’s overall performance!” He exclaimed, “Sure, they had a small budget at first, but there’s also the writing to consider, and the actors-“
“The actors on Steel Samurai are way better. Will Powers-“
“Will Powers is fine, but the original actors on Signal-“
“Oh I know you’re not about to compare those crusty knock-off power rangers to Will Powers.”
He huffed. “This is ridiculous, Miss Fey. You are being completely ridiculous.”
Her smile returned once more. “But I distracted you.”
With a start, he realized that she had, in fact, done just that. His breath had returned to normal, and hands hand all but just barely stopped shaking. “It…it seems you did. I…Thank you.”
She grinned, standing up and walking over to grab the white bag off the floor where she’d previously dropped it. Sitting back down, she opened and pulled out a circular, wrapped food item. She extended it to Miles.
“Burger?”
He blinked. “No…thank you.”
She simply shrugged again and unwrapped it for herself. “More for me.”
They sat there in silence for a moment, both of them unsure where to go from there.
“So….” Maya said after a while, “You ready to talk about what happened?”
He sighed. “Listen, I really am fine. It was just a moment. It’s over now.”
“Well yeah, but you’ve clearly got something bothering you.”
“There’s honestly no need to talk about it.” But even he could hear the strain in his voice when he said it.
She crossed her arms, glaring at him. When she did that, she looked incredibly like her sister. Well, her sister, but with a ketchup spot on her cheek. It was a little unnerving.
“Look, I’m concerned about your health, Mr. Edgeworth. So if you don’t tell me what’s going on, that’s fine."
“Thank you Miss Fey-“
“But I’m going to get Nick to help you instead.”
He gaped. That truly was the last thing he needed. No doubt, Phoenix Wright would be all over that, trying to help Miles, get all of his secrets out of him, and fix everything. As if Miles didn’t feel guilty enough for all the help he’d already received.
“You wouldn’t.”
She narrowed her eyes, her stare unmoving as she took a bite of her burger.
After a moment of an intense stare-off between the two, he realized that this Fey was just like her sister-never backing away in the face of a challenge. “Fine. But not a word of this gets back to Wright. Understood?”
“My lips are sealed.” She said, drawing a fake zipper over her lips and pretending to throw away the key.
“Okay.” Miles took a breath. “Like I said, it’s a ridiculous set of circumstances.”
“You shouldn’t invalidate your emotions like that.” Maya said, her mouth half-full of a burger, “But go on.”
“…Right. Well anyway, I was in a trial this morning. A rather simple open-and-shut case, really. The defense was playing all sorts of tricks, calling an inordinate number of witnesses.”
“Sounds like Nick.”
“No.” Miles said quickly, “This man was just grasping. Absurd as Wright may be, his tricks always have an end purpose.”
As quickly as he’d said it, he looked over to see Miss Fey’s smug smile had returned. His eyes narrowed. “Don’t you dare tell him I said that.”
She repeated the zipper motion from before, and Miles continued. “Anyway, one of those witnesses was a child. The child of the victim, in fact. They just…they looked so helpless up there on the stand. The defense was badgering them. They had just lost their family, and they had the audacity to-to- I tried to stop it, but that idiotic judge just let it happen, and-“
He sighed, stopping himself. Clenched fists fell to his side. “I just…feel bad for that child. And I supposed…well, it just brough back some unpleasant memories, is all.”
Another beat, and Maya was completely silent. Again, Miles felt his heart skip a beat, half-convinced she was going to start laughing at him. Though he wouldn’t blame her-
“I’m so sorry, Mr. Edgeworth\.”
He jumped, unsure if it was because of the use of his first name or the sudden tone shift in her voice. Her hamburger now finished, she held the wrapper in her clenched fist, resting her arms on her knees. Her face had suddenly turned despondent, eyes turned towards the floor. All of a sudden, she turned to look at him. Though she wore a smile of some kind, her eyes were glossy.
It was only then that he really looked at her, for the first time since their encounter. He’d failed to notice until that exact moment how…un-maya like she’d looked. He was used to seeing her chipper and bright, the perfect partner for the sunshine-defense team that was Wright and Co. But now, he couldn’t help by notice now slightly-faded puffy redness of her cheeks, or the dark circles that lined her eyes.
“Being a part of a defense team isn’t always an easy job.” She said, “Nick told me that once. I guess the same is true for the prosecution.”
“Yes, well…” He realized with a start that it had barely been a month since the DeKiller case. The one that Maya had been one of the victims of. She’d been kidnapped and nearly murdered, and would have perished if it wasn’t for the quick thinking of both Phoenix Wright, himself, and the deceased Mia Fey (Though he still wasn’t sure about the finer details on how that last bit worked out).
Needless to say, Maya Fey was surely still recovering from such an ordeal. And here he was, venting to her.
“I see a lot of…how did you put it? Unpleasant things as a spirit medium. You’d think by now, nothing would phase me. But I’ve been having nightmares lately, about what happened. I thought I was fine in the day though. Th-then there was a…possibility, a theory brought up in the trial today. It was only a suggestion, and Nick even disproved it, but…they thought maybe somebody had contracted a killer. And then his name came up, and all of a sudden, I was back in that dark room and-“ She cut herself off, her eyes snapping open.
“Sorry, sorry. That’s not. We were talking about you, and-“ She let out an awkward laugh, one that sounded as though she were on the verge of tears. A quick glance at her eyes proved this to be true. “I-What I’m trying to say is, I get it. I-It’s hard. And I’m sorry.”
Miles watched, silent as her eyes brows furrowed, and she suddenly pushed away the forming tears from her eyes and took a deep, almost frustrated breath.
He wanted to say something to her, to offer some semblance of peace or comfort or even closure, but no words came to his mind. He really was terrible at things like this. Of course, emotions had never been his strong suit in general, but comforting people? Forget about it.
He couldn’t help but think that if Wright were here, he’d know exactly what to say. Something that would undoubtedly solve everything, and leave everyone smiling and all feelings resolved. And then everyone would ride off into the sunset or something. Because that was just what he did.
But Wright wasn’t here. He was.
“Miss Fey.” He found himself saying, his tone low. He swallowed, terrified he was going to say something wrong. “I…It is...okay for you to cry, if you wish.”
For a long moment, Maya only stared at him, blinking. Then, out of absolutely nowhere, she laughed.
It was just about as Miles was mentally swearing off trying to comfort anyone ever again that he noticed the tears now streaming freely down her face. For a moment, all he could do was watch her, incredulous, until finally her laugh subsided and she turned back to him, her eyes still watery.
“Thank you, Mr. Edgeworth.” She smiled sadly, her sleeve coming up to her eyes once again, “You know, the same goes for you.”
He tried to muster something of a reassuring smile. “Thank you, but my days of strife have long past. I feel I should be over them long before now.”
Maya’s eyebrows furrowed once again. “Well at least you didn’t freak out over literally nothing.”
“Now now,” Miles scolded, “What was that thing you said to me earlier? Ah, yes. You shouldn’t invalidate your emotions like that?”
She snorted. “Touché.”
Another long silence settled over them, and for a moment, all Miles could hear was the distant chatter of courthouse goers down several halls. Both of their eyes were still fixated on the floor, and Miles almost thought she might have left, until finally:
“Mr. Edgeworth?”
“Yes?”
“Does it…does it always feel like this?”
His eyes widened. He wanted to immediately reassure her that no, of course it didn’t, but how was he supposed to do that, when those feelings of his were the exact reason he was currently sitting in the stairwell?
He was quiet, unsure of what to say. He didn’t want to lie to her. But…
Finally, he told her something he was unable to tell even himself.
“I wish that I could tell you that this pain-the pain from any traumatic experience- goes away. But it does not.”
Maya’s eyes found the ground once again. “I see. Well-“
“It does, however, get easier. Over time.” He continued. “It is still hard, but we must carry on. Not because we want to, or because it is easy, but because we are here.”
She stared up at him, eyes staring into his soul. Staring his own eyes into a spot on the wall, he continued.
“I’ve heard it said that we are stronger because of the things we go through- I don’t know if I believe that. But for better or for worse, we survived. And we carry on, because….well….”
“Because we’re worth carrying on for.” Maya finished the thought, words he still hadn’t be ready to accept. “We’re worth the effort to try and fix our hearts and be okay again.”
Despite himself, he actually gave her some semblance of a smile. “Yes…well said.”
After a moment, he stood, offering her a hand. She took it. “Though I don’t recall ‘sitting in a courthouse stairwell crying’ part of the traditional healing process.”
She was pulled to her feet. “I guess we should probably be kinder to ourselves, huh? At least cry somewhere a little more comfortable.”
Miles nodded. “Well, Von Karma’s aren’t exactly known for their kindness, of all things.”
“Good thing you aren’t a Von Karma then.”
His head swiveled to look at her. There was something in her eyes, a determination that he’d seen countless times before. Wright? Yes, but even before him, someone else-
“Thank you.” He told her, “And for what it’s worth…I think your sister would be proud of you. For the resilience you’ve shown through everything…and the person you’ve become.”
Her head snapped up once again, her eyes welling up once more. Before she could say anything else, he straightened his jacket and took a few steps forward.
“Well, the recess is almost over. I must be heading back now. Thank you for your help, and I hope you feel better soo-“
“Miles.”
He turned, looking back into those determined eyes once again, which this time, were accompanied by a soft smile.
“I know I didn’t know your dad at all. But…I think he’d be proud of you, too.”
Ugh, those damn tears again. He quickly blinked them away.
“Th-thank you, Maya.”