Work Text:
Let Him never question my love.
Let it strengthen and grow.
Let it force itself into the grooves of life
Protecting what ought to be protected.
(Love never mattered to Him.)
Let my love be the power the powerful sought–
Let it roll through the land and dance through the sky
Reaching Emperors that roamed and Demons that prowled.
(It never mattered to Him.)
Please, let my heart be a resting place where love
Is given with no hesitation to Him,
And felt deeply, freely,
Love is in the air I breathe.
(There's never been love for me,
not from Him.)
Say, who are you that follows him in the night?
And who are you in which he wants more?
I am thee who was pushed aside, lost and forgotten,
I am the God with the world on his shoulders.
I am the warrior fighting for hope–
And being brought back into the same pattern
Of evil beat evil, of pens, mightier than swords.
I am the young man, full of stubbornness and arrogance,
Tortured by the endless curse
Of war, cultivation, loyalty, of kill the demons!
Of get the win! Of grab the ways of a man!
Of work the disciples! Of take the loot!
Of beating everyone for the title of "King of Fighting"!
I am the warrior, stepping stone to the Empire.
I am the cultivator sold to the other side.
I am the brute, ready to be ordered around by all.
I am the lovers, desperate, lonely, aching–
Lonely now despite the people.
Beaten yet now– please, Lord!
I am the man who is not better,
The second best throughout the years.
Yet I'm the one who loved
In a world where He was dead,
Who loved, so loyally, so harshly,
That still He feels it hum
In every muscle and bone, in every stagnant neuron.
To give Him everything I am.
To receive everything He is in return.
In return?
Who said he would return? Not me?
Definitely not me? the unrequited?
The left behind?
The lied to?
For all the love I've loved
All the battles I've fought
All the time I've given
All the blood I've shed,
The one who's been lied to–
Except the lie I live every day.
Please, let Him never question my love–
My love that has not been realized nor returned yet–
And yet must be– the love that's true to me.
The love that's mine– the pushed aside, forgotten, warrior, ME–
Who made this love,
Whose heart and time, whose flesh and blood,
Must bring back His attention again.
Go ahead, call me by whatever you choose–
The bite of love does not waver.
For those who turn on the people,
We must right their wrong,
Lovers!
I say it outright,
Love was never a question to me,
And yet I curse myself–
I came to bring you back,
Your body, your pride, your cultivation.
Your laugh and the bountiful knowledge–
All, all the love you don't feel for me–
All, all the love you feel for the other–
And never let you question my love for you.