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Shen Qingqiu could not stop complaining (bragging) about Luo Binghe’s incredible stamina that Shen Qingqiu just simply cannot keep up with. Clearly his Binghe would need an entire harem to satisfy his libido but alas he only has Shen Qingqiu who is “straight with an exception” and who’s ass requires rest.
As if it’s simply impossible for Cucumber Bro to top. Although given how much of a one pump chump he always ends up making himself sound in the amount of lyrical waxing— sorry— complaining he does about how much demonic stamina Luo Binghe has, maybe that wouldn’t totally solve things.
All the same, the fact of the matter was this: Shang Qinghua was tired of hearing about this bragging.
He was tired of being blamed for Shen Qingqiu having an active sex life just because he had to go and marry the protagonist. He was tired of how absolutely boring Shen Qingqiu sounded when it came to sex— and look Shang Qinghua knew he dialed it in a lot and not all of his papapa was good but surely some of those ideas had to stick with how obsessed Cucumber had been with Proud Immortal Demon Way.
Actually maybe complaining to Shang Qinghua was part of it for him. Like some sort of low level exhibitionism or some shit.
Whatever it was, simply writing Binghe once decades ago shouldn’t have been enough to sign him up for it.
“Seems like you’re just bad at sex bro, I could have him tapping out when you do.”
Shen Qingqiu instantly went into attack mode, glare hardening. “You could not.”
And Shang Qinghua could’ve backed down. But he was feeling a little antagonistic and a bit bored. “Yeah I could. I doubt it’s that hard to deal with.”
As if compelled to spout lore to somehow prove his point, Shen Qingqiu cleared his throat. “Binghe can go ten rounds without stopping and still not be tired. He canonically did in the orgy with wives—“
“Yeah and I’m confident I could make him pass out totally satisfied.”
Which of course Shen Qingqiu didn’t like, trying to pull a hundred stupid quotes out of his ass like Bingge’s sexual prowess was a guaranteed one to one with Bingmei’s in the first place. Like Shang Qinghua didn’t have word of god on his side.
And eventually it became more than just a stupid argument to rile up Cucumber Bro. Eventually it became a Thing.
And that was how Shang Qinghua found himself invited somewhere he’d thought he’d only ever be in spirit while reading bad porn written about Binghe and Qingqiu: their bedroom.
Luo Binghe was, as expected, less than pleased but from what Shang Qinghua understood he was tolerating this because Shang Qinghua was framed as an “intimacy coordinator”.
Luo Binghe’s gaze was less than impressed as he watched Shang Qinghua enter. He didn’t understand how this virgin rat man was going to help him fuck his husband, but he did understand Shang Qinghua would not be touching his Shizun and Luo Binghe didn’t have play nice with him either, just listen to his direction because Shizun so sweetly wanted Luo Binghe to have a good time.
And also maybe Binghe wanted to fuck Shen Qingqiu in front of someone but that was his business.
The rat would do.
Luo Binghe took in the underwhelming presence of the peak lord in their bedroom, unashamed as he stood already undressed beside his fully clothed husband, eyeing the bag Shang Qinghua brought with him.
“So what exactly is the plan?” Shen Qingqiu sounded unimpressed as well, looking down his nose at Shang Qinghua for lack of a fan.
“Sit on the bed and let Junshang use your lap as a pillow,” Shang Qinghua instructed.
Checking to see that Luo Binghe wasn’t watching him, Shen Qingqiu shot him a slightly less elegant glare that said, “This isn’t going to work.”
Shang Qinghua’s eyeroll made for a very clear response of, “Yes it will.”
And though he didn’t completely understand the odd tension between the peak lords, Luo Binghe was a fan of how this was starting. He was laid out on the bed with his Shizun’s kind hands in his hair, curling through his locks and tracing his face lovingly, the utter bliss he coveted so dearly.
And then Shang Qinghua opened The Bag.
Look. Sell out porn universe had very few perks but—but. Many makeshift sex toys.
Shang Qinghua started simple. One of his favorites and if he happened to regularly get new ones to keep at his desk that was his business. He got a new one for Luo Binghe of course. It’s a flower. Such a pretty flower. A really tubular flower. Almost looks like lips really. Instead of needing pollination it needs… other things.
It’s a pocket pussy. Airplane made a flower you can fuck, sue him, it gives great head.
So he set it near Luo Binghe’s hip and guided it’s opening to Binghe’s cock, already semi interested just from Shen Qingqiu treating him so sweetly and maybe Shang Qinghua was just a little smug when Binghe made a satisfied groan at the feeling.
He knew how good it feels. The petals soft and welcoming around your cock. The way the flower seemed to almost be milking you, desperate and needy. The way the little stamen inside (which Cucumber Bro had ranted was unnecessary if the plant didn’t pollinate the normal way) teased at your tip.
The more you came in it the wetter everything felt too, going from a luscious glide to something deliciously wet and dirty.
Shen Qingqiu seemed unconvinced. Figured he’d be too much of a prude to have ever tried the thing.
Shang Qinghua ignored him, looking for what he wanted to do next. Well, maybe not ignored him. Maybe deliberately fucked with him.
“Don’t you want to tell him how good he’s being? You always praise Junshang so much when we’re alone Consort Shen, no need to hold back just because I’m here now.”
Shen Qingqiu glared but got the hint. For Shang Qinghua’s stupid plan to get Luo Binghe satisfied, Shen Qingqiu was supposed to compliment him. And Shen Qingqiu was only praising him so much because of Shang Qinghua’s stupid plan. No other reason. Except for maybe the reason that all of it is TRUE because Binghe is a very good husband and he’s very handsome and he’s so strong and so beautiful and someone should tell him but it shouldn’t have to be Shen Qingqiu because he had an image to maintain. Ugh. Shang Qinghua was really forcing his hand here.
But it worked, at least a bit. Luo Binghe came to the sound of Shen Qingqiu’s praises, bucking up into the flower around his cock, whining soothed by cool hands on his face.
Of course a protagonist always looked perfect when he came. His sweat a dazzling glistening thing that only drew your attention to his sculpted everything.
But of course, a stallion protagonist was bound to last for much more than a single round.
So Luo Binghe was one orgasm down, still rock hard and locked with the Lilies of Luscious Lips when Shang Qinghua brought out his next step.
And look. He could say a lot of pretty words about this being a very important demon artifact. One with super ancient traditions associated with it. But there was no reason for him to bullshit and pad word count in this moment.
It was a vibrator.
And with Luo Binghe one orgasm down and probably loosened up, Shang Qinfhua didn’t touch him more than necessary as he shoved that fucker up Luo Binghe’s ass with enough force to hurt a normal person.
Luo Binghe wasn’t a normal person. That M streak Shang Qinghua had heard about seemed to still be running strong as the demon lord moaned like he’d just been given a hit of heaven from the harsh treatment.
Shen Qingqiu could complain as much as he wished about how he couldn’t top yet because he was too worried he’d fuck up and hurt his precious Binghe, but Shang Qinghua had no qualms about giving the menace the rough treatment he craved. No doubt he liked it even better with his head still cradled in the soft security of Shen Qingqiu’s lap.
And Shen Qingqiu was utterly transfixed now, thin face melting in the face of his actual desire as Luo Binghe came again with a groan so distinctly manly and unfiltered that even Shang Qinghua wanted to shiver. It was no wonder Cucumber Bro, the most Binghe-obsessed person the world, looked like he was about to start drooling.
Shang Qinghua couldn’t decide if he was smug about that or disgusted. Both probably. Luo Binghe might not have been his type but he was at least hot and easy for Shang Qinghua to sexualize— he’d paid rent pimping him out basically— but actually witnessing his biggest anti-fan who “read for the plot” getting horny about it was a complicated feeling.
Maybe it would be less complicated if he was still getting paid. Maybe he could get paid once he won this stupid bet.
He let the current combo milk two more orgasms from Luo Binghe, watching as the way his body arched with pleasure at every orgasm, calling out for his Shizun, his husband, his his his. Shen Qingqiu was just as responsive, keeping up his praises for his precious boy, his Binghe, his husband, his his his.
Their dirty talk left something to be desired as far as Shang Qinghua was concerned but he was well used to orchestrating scenes that didn’t get him off to suit specific clientele. And if Luo Binghe’s kink was that all consuming possession wrapped up in the sweetest disguise of a needy househusband, Shang Qinghua could work with that.
So he waited and watched until Luo Binghe was nice and weepy in Shen Qingqiu arms before he brought out his third trick. It was considered a proper garment for some demonic races.
They were nipple clamps. Shang Qinghua couldn’t help a little more touching at this stage putting them on for him. His chest wasn’t as pillowy as Mobei Jun’s, designed to be leaner. Prettier. It worked well with the big tears rolling down his cheeks. Luo Binghe could ooze power, but he knew how to hide it too and here in bed he looked so innocent Shang Qinghua could almost believe him and Shen Qingqiu were perverted old men trying to blacken him. But damn Luo Binghe was writhing now. Lost in the pleasure of the flower and the vibrator and the nipple clamps and above all his precious husband wiping away his tears.
Shang Qinghua thought he’d caught Shen Qingqiu lick his fingers afterwards a few times. They were truly lost in their own world, perfectly happy to be moved at Shang Qinghua’s behest to chase their own pleasure and otherwise ignore him.
That was fine. It just meant he was winning.
Offering up the chain, Shang Qinghua managing to finally pull Shen Qingqiu’s attention off his husband. “Tug these.”
“It’ll hurt him!”
“Yeah. Tug them.”
Apparently Shen Qingqiu wasn’t quite as ready to follow Shang Qinghua’s guidance as he had thought. Maybe if he let Shang Qinghua get him fucked into incoherence like Luo Binghe he’d be nicer but apparently a riled up Cucumber Bro was still as overly sensitive about hurting his precious Binghe even when they both knew how much he was gagging for it.
Shang Qinghua would’ve brought much sharper toys if he’d thought Cucumber wouldn’t be such a wuss about it. Vines that dug into skin as they bound you. Jewelry that gave you false claws to rake across a lover’s skin. Assorted weapons he knew Cucumber had read papapa scenes with, albeit hardly ever with Luo Binghe on the receiving end of them.
But of course Shen Qingqiu thought he knew best at everything, bickering even now when Shang Qinghua was holding his husband’s nipple clamps, having already led him to several orgasms that had the flower around his cock leaking with his seed yet still greedy for more. It had to feel so lewd by now, slick with his own desire.
Luckily for Shang Qinghua, he at last had an ally in his arguments against Shen Qingqiu. An unlikely one. Usually Luo Binghe wouldn’t side with someone else over his husband.
But usually Luo Binghe was not in a haze of lust, temperamental to find his tears were no longer giving him the sweet affection he was so used to.
So, inevitably, Shen Qingqiu relented, taking the chain and tugging. He never stood a chance of holding our long, not with Luo Binghe this desperate.
And oh how Luo Binghe came apart so beautifully for him, his sweet boy. His precious lamb. So sweet and tender and satisfied in his arms, virile like no one else and overstimulated to high hell as orgasm after orgasm was dragged out of him by the constant and ever building pleasure of these hack tools that hack author put into this hack novel but… but with Binghe they were okay.
Shang Qinghua could recognize the look in Cucumber Bro’s eyes. They were close now. He’d follow instructions much better for the rest of it, he wanted this too much not to. Shang Qinghua had heard Shen Qingqiu complain constantly about Luo Binghe’s libido, but nothing could stoke Shen Qingqiu’s desire like his husband.
Luo Binghe was completely glassy eyed when Shang Qinghua took Shen Qingqiu’s free hand and guided it into Luo Binghe’s mouth, the poor thing instantly suckling on Shen Qingqiu’s fingers like they were doused with their own aphrodisiac. If only Shen Qingqiu had more hands to keep petting his hair while he did this. If only he could tug his uncoordinated, messy rhythm lightly against the clamps and fuck his fingers deeper into Luo Binghe’s greedy mouth and dry all those beautiful tears and touch him and touch him and touch him.
Luo Binghe had little finesse with his tongue, it wasn’t like the Binghe he’d once read about, but there was something so fucking hot about the messy way he sucked and lapped and drooled and explored Shen Qingqiu’s fingers in his mouth. He was perfect like this. Too greedy to do anything but chase what he wanted. Shen Qingqiu would never tell him how to improve, not when he looked so pretty like this.
When Shang Qinghua yanked out the vibrator, Luo Binghe nearly screamed around Shen Qingqiu fingers, the shock of the sudden emptiness triggering another orgasm that seemed to leave him gasping and choking, much more pitiful than one would expect from a stallion protagonist. But then, was anyone graceful this far gone into the haze of lust?
Shen Qingqiu was glaring, like leaving Luo Binghe empty and keening was some crime, but Shang Qinghua ignored them both, replacing the stolen vibrator with another one that pulsed to a new rhythm to break through the numbness that had been building and oh Binghe truly looked more at his limit than Shen Qingqiu had ever seen.
Letting Binghe get used to the new vibrator (and waiting for him to orgasm again— a messy affair that had the flower spitting cum like those false lips were truly choking on his cock) Shang Qinghua yanked off the plant too, which Luo Binghe bucked helplessly to follow, reached out even to keep it, but Shang Qinghua was faster
“Don’t you want your Shizun?”
And yes. Luo Binghe did want his Shizun. His nod was desperate, but his eyes were terrifyingly clear, like he’d broken through his own haze of lust at the prospect of his favorite person, as if said person hadn’t been holding him throughout. As if all the plants and the toys could only ever be appetizers to the feast that was his husband.
But Shang Qinghua had expected that.
So Shang Qinghua pulled out a little collar that clearly had Shen Qingqiu wanting to say some choice words but he didn't, Shang Qinghua knew he wouldn’t, because he couldn’t lose face in front of Luo Binghe.
It was easy enough to avoid the stupid couple’s limbs as he fastened it around Luo Binghe’s neck and attached the leash, watching the way focus fully came back into Binghe’s eyes as he watched Shang Qinghua hand it to Shen Qingqiu like a predator tracking its prey.
“Okay now rut on the bed and show Consort Shen how you want to fuck him.”
And ordinarily Luo Binghe wouldn’t follow orders from Shang Qinghua. But he thought he really very much liked that idea actually as he felt Shen Qingqiu accidentally tug at the collar, vibrator driving him insane as he flipped over and dragged his cock against their sheets, nuzzling his face into Shen Qingqiu’s lap, drooling into it as the nipple clamps caught and dragged so delightfully.
And it certainly helped that his Shizun was telling him how good he was. How pretty he was. Did Shizun like seeing him like this that much? His Shizun was hard, he could feel it through the robes. Bumped his face messily against it as he rutted like a beast, leashed up like a beast, listen to Shen Qingqiu’s endless praise like a fragile pet.
Luo Binghe’s mind was going so hazy he didn’t even mind Shang Qinghua’s presence anymore. Didn’t even think twice before agreeing when Shang Qinghua said: “Sit up and show him how big you are, he always loves to brag about your size.”
Luo Binghe felt mindless, felt unhinged with pride at the prospect of proof Shen Qingqiu’s complaints about his size were merely a facade. Shen Qingqiu liked how big he was, the rat said. His eyes fixed on Shen Qingqiu’s as he felt Shen Qingqiu’s hold on the leash tug at him so pleasantly while he sat up and stroked himself for his husband.
And Shang Qinghua was right. Shen Qingqiu seemed to like it so much. That big cock he scolded for splitting him open whenever it got the chance. He liked it. Not with words, but with the look on his face. Luo Binghe had never seen him so hungry.
A moan is ripped out of him when Shen Qingqiu yanked the leash close on a silent instruction from Shang Qinghua that Luo Binghe didn’t see, didn’t care to see, because all he cared about was Shen Qingqiu kissing him, messy and full of teeth and why was his husband still wearing so many clothes?
He must’ve asked that out loud, whimpered and sobbed it even, because Shang Qinghua answered.
“Every time you cum for him, Consort Shen will remove a layer.”
It was a long, painful game for someone already so overstimulated. It was cruel even, and Luo Binghe delighted in the way the pleasure mixed with the pain of his body pushed so far into ecstasy it couldn’t process anything but couldn’t stop processing everything. At some point he thought Shang Qinghua might’ve taken the second vibrator out too but his body was buzzing so badly he couldn't really register the lack of it fully.
He was coming apart at the seams. He was cumming on their bed. On his husband’s clothes. Again and again, he didn’t know how he still had cum left to give. He’d never kept going for so long. He wondered what would give up first: his mind in the crashing overstimulation of his orgasms or his balls, leaving him to orgasm dry. He’d heard it was possible for some. When they have nothing left to give.
He wanted to find out what that was like.
By Shen Qingqiu’s last layer, Luo Binghe felt utterly feral, and he could barely process Shang Qinghua’s instruction to SQQ.
“Pull off the nipple clamps. Just yank them.”
Shen Qingqiu was too far gone to do anything but listen, though he’d never admit it, ripping them off and panting in wonder as Luo Binghe came for him again at the rough treatment before knocking him down and fucking him into their mattress.
It was messy and savage. Rough in a way Luo Binghe hadn’t truly let himself be since the first time they didn’t let themselves count.
And Shen Qingqiu was mindless in the pleasure of it, pushed right up to the desperate feeling where Luo Binghe had found his new home, licking the tears straight off his face with the same animal desire that had Luo Binghe dragging his teeth across any part of Shen Qingqiu he could.
There was nothing here but desire teased out until it could do nothing but lay bare and exposed, ugly and satisfying in the way all chaotic truths are.
And for the first time in their entire marriage, Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe were completely worn out from sex at the same time, neither of them able to even clean up as they drifted off to sleep cuddling.
Shang Qinghua debated leaving them in a puddle of cum like that, but it seemed like he might actually be able to use the whole night as an IOU for later and he wanted to stay on their good side for that.
So, like the absolute saint he was, he cleaned up their gross cum as much as he could without poking around in his bro’s ass and wiggled out the soiled top sheet from under them, throwing it into the corner before he headed out, leaving behind the toys and flower as a gracious present.
He was so going to milk this win for all that it was worth. Shen Qingqiu never stood a chance. What was the good of his encyclopedic Proud Immortal Demon Way lore knowledge when Shang Qinghua had gone through second puberty in a porn world?
It’s called practical skills Cucumber Bro.