Chapter Text
It’s a terrible idea. Shen Jiu knows this. However, like every other terrible idea he’s had in his life, it doesn’t stop him from carrying it through.
His meridians burn, and he ends up on Qian Cao peak after one of his disciples find him in a puddle of coughed up blood in the bamboo house.
He’s staring blankly up at the ceiling when he feels Yue Qingyuan approaching. Shen Jiu doesn’t have the mental or emotional strength for this right now, so when the sect leader says, “Xiao Jiu?”
Instead of letting loose with a bunch of vitriol which he really wants to, he decides to do the exact opposite. Shen Jiu? Sorry, don’t know him.
“Who?” he asks simply, and pretends not to know the sect leader.
Thick brows furrow on Yue Qingyuan’s face and he looks devastated for a moment before his expression clears. “...Shen Qingqiu?”
What Shen Jiu should do is snap at the sect leader, tell him he was just fucking with him.
He Should.
He doesn’t.
“I don’t know who that is,” he says calmly.
Yue Qingyuan’s mouth opens and closes a few times. “I’m getting Mu Shidi,” he says, and walks off quickly.
Ha. Has he finally, after all this time, found the secret to stop the sect leader from bothering him?
Shortly, Mu Qingfang returns, trailed by Yue Qingyuan. “Hello,” he greets. “I am Mu Qingfang. Do you know who you are?”
Shen Jiu really should just admit that he’s fine. Well, for someone that almost just died from a qi deviation. He should. But. He kind of wants to see what will happen if he doesn’t. He’s made so many bad decisions in his life, obviously, this is just another in a long line of them. He nearly died. Surely he’s entitled to fuck with people a little, isn’t he?
“I don’t remember my name,” Shen Jiu tells him. “Do you know it? Do you know me?”
He’s kind of proud of his acting. When he lived on the streets he used to be able to cry at the drop of a hat. This is not that different. Strangely, it appears that those skills were just dormant, not gone.
He’s so sick of trying to make good choices and having it fail miserably. Honestly, he might as well just make the bad choice and be done with it.
He listens to Mu Qingfang explain who he is, and where he is and what happened. Does he remember cultivating, Mu Qingfang wants to know.
If he has amnesia he should say no, right? “Yes,” Shen Jiu says clearly. He holds out his hand and calls a shimmering ball of light to his hand, then dissipates it.
“Interesting,” Mu Qingfang murmurs thoughtfully. “What’s the first thing you remember?”
“Looking up at the ceiling,” Shen Jiu answers promptly. “Why do you think this might have happened?”
After a moment Mu Qingfang says, “It’s possible that the qi deviation was caused by long standing heart demons. Shen Shixiong, I’m sorry to tell you, you have been prone to qi deviations for a long time.”
Normally this would infuriate him. Normally, he’d leave in a huff, radiating icy disdain. Instead, he shrugs. “Well. Perhaps since I can’t remember anything bad happening to me, my cultivation will improve.” He folds his hands primly in his lap.
The physician just stares at Shen Jiu, like he can’t believe what he’s hearing.
“When can I go home?” Shen Jiu asks, looking up at the doctor.
“When can you-Shen Shixiong!” Mu Qingfang sputters. “Do you even know where you live?”
Shrugging, Shen Jiu says, “Not really. Does it matter?” He has to work a little bit to suppress the grin that’s threatening. Poor Mu Shidi is starting to look like he might qi deviate.
He’s left alone for awhile. He feels a strong qi signature approaching and looks up to see Liu Qingge entering the room. He has surely been recruited to try and elicit some reaction in Shen Jiu. “Hello,” he greets politely.
Liu Qingge looks pissed off already, scowling deeply at him. “Shen Qingqiu! What sort of game are you playing!”
Remembering all the times Liu Shidi has made his life miserable, Shen Jiu thinks about how this one fucking man is responsible for so much of his unhappiness. Tears fill his eyes. “Why are you shouting at me?” he asks pitifully, widening his eyes. “I’m just sitting here by myself.”
To his utter and complete shock, Liu Shidi is silent, just staring at him.
“I don’t even know who you are,” Shen Jiu continues pitifully, then sniffs. He looks away, biting his lip.
“I-I’m sorry,” Liu Qingge apologizes. He keeps staring at Shen Jiu like he doesn’t know what to do about him.
This is starting to be a little fun, Shen Jiu decides. “Did I do something to you? I don’t remember if I did, but I’m sorry for whatever it was.” Is this over the top? Maybe! He wipes his eyes, and hastily, Liu Qingge reaches inside his sleeve and produces a handkerchief.
Shen Jiu looks up at him through his eyelashes. “Thanking immortal master,” he says, eyeing Liu Shidi carefully. He’s often thought over the years that it’s a shame that Liu Shidi’s personality is so objectionable, because really, he is extremely attractive. Shen Jiu has always enjoyed looking at him. In another life, he might have even pursued him, or attempted to be more friendly at least.
Alas. Shen Jiu has been firmly consigned to the Scum Villain role in Liu Qingge’s headspace.
Although…isn’t now a perfect opportunity to change that?
Strangely, Liu Qingge hasn’t left the room yet, but continues standing there. Finally he clears his throat and says, “Liu Qingge. Don’t…call me immortal master.”
Shen Jiu smiles. “Hello, Liu Qingge. I’m Shen Jiu. It’s good to meet you.”
As he watches, a light pink flush creeps up Liu Qingge’s neck and face. Without a further word, he spins on his heel and leaves.
Wow. Did he get rid of Liu Shidi just by smiling? That’s a weapon he had no idea was even in his arsenal!
Making bad decisions is really paying off today. Mu Shidi comes back and though he hems and haws for awhile, untimely Shen Jiu is allowed to return to his home on Qing Jing peak.
“I’m the peak lord?” He asks, going for appropriately awed. “At Cang Qiong Mountain Sect?”
Troubled, Mu Shidi nods. “Your memory may return sooner if you are among familiar surroundings.”
“Thank you,” Shen Jiu says enthusiastically. “It’s just that..I’m not sure how to get there.”
“Ah. Not to worry,” Mu Qingfang tells him kindly. “Our martial brother has offered to walk you to your home. You met him earlier, Liu Qingge. What did you think of him?”
It’s no trouble at all to call up a blush. “He’s…very handsome isn’t he? Just looking at his face makes me feel all fluttery.” It’s sort of true actually. He’s just been repressing it for about a decade and a half. For maximum effect, Shen Jiu adds, “He was so kind to me earlier.”
Mu Shidi blinks a few times, speechless at this ridiculousness. “I see. That’s …good to hear. I will fetch him now.”
Shen Jiu is waiting patiently when Liu Shidi enters the room. His face is pink already and idly, Shen Jiu wonders if Mu Qingfang (unable to resist good gossip) passed along Shen Jiu’s comments on the war god’s beauty. “Liu Qingge, thank you for your escort. I’m sure you have much more important things to do than to assist me back home.”
Liu Qingge presses his lips together tightly like he’s holding back a bunch of uncharitable thoughts. He inclines his head, and together they leave Qian Cao peak.
It’s a lovely day, and Shen Jiu doesn’t attempt to start any conversation along the way. They cross the Rainbow bridge into Bai Zhan peak, and continue along the pebbled walkway. Liu Qingge’s peak is quite spartan compared to his own. There’s no fancy landscaping, or indeed, any attempts at feng shui.
Liu Shidi keeps stealing glances at Shen Jiu like he’s waiting for a verbal attack. So sorry, Liu Shidi, not today!
They pass the training grounds and some disciples in white and gray come running up to them. “Shizun, are you sparring with Shen Shibo today?”
Clearing his throat, Liu Shidi says simply, “No. Go train,” he says, again checking Shen Jiu for his reaction.
If Shen Jiu knew that being friendly would rattle Liu Shidi so much, he could have started off this way.
Soon, they come to another rainbow bridge and this time they cross into Qing Jing. Shen Jiu feels like he wants to breathe a sigh of relief just being back on his own peak.
Interestingly, Liu Shidi does not take him via the most expeditious route to the bamboo house. Instead, he guides them to the right which will take them close to the disciple training rounds and dormitories.
Liu Shidi! Is this you being sneaky? If it is, Shen Jiu approves. He says nothing as they approach the training grounds. When they get closer, Shen Jiu stops in his tracks.
“What are you doing?” he calls out. A small circle of disciples in green and white are huddled in a tight circle and they appear to be kicking the shit out of someone on the ground.
Startled to see two peak lords, the Qing Jing disciples stop. One of them still even has his leg cocked back. Ah, Shen Jiu realizes. Liu Qingge brought him this way to test him! Okay, not bad, Liu Shidi! Very crafty. However, Shidi doesn’t realize that Shen Jiu is committed to this course of action now.
“Shizun,” one of them says. “We were correcting Luo Shidi since he didn’t come to class this morning.”
Probably, because his shixiongs gave him their own chores to do, Shen Jiu knows. Normally this would not bother him in the least.
However.
He is currently Amnesiac!Shizun, not Actual!Shizun. Shen Jiu strides forward. “Why are you bullying your shidi? Who is that on the ground, help him up now.”
Liu Qingge remains behind him, watching but silent.
Shen Jiu watches his disciples try to figure why he’s acting so weird. Good luck with that, brats. Shen Jiu doesn’t even know himself! This next few minutes will be a true test, though. Because he honestly can not stand that little beast.
Luo Binghe manages to pull himself to his feet, obviously favoring his right leg. His eye is swollen, and one arm is wrapped around himself, as if to splint some broken ribs.
For a moment their eyes meet. Shen Jiu remembers his time on the streets. Does Luo Binghe think he’s the only brat in the world who's gotten beat up? At least fight back, little beast, Shen Jiu thinks.
For a moment Shen Jiu imagines what he would have wanted to happen when he was the one on the ground. Some coddling no doubt, and for the abusers to be punished. Fine. He can work with that. “The rest of you run thirty laps around the base of the peak.” He walks over to Luo Binghe, Liu Shidi trailing uselessly behind him.
Eyeing the boy, Shen Jiu digs deep and says, “Are you all right?” He says this in a perfectly normal tone of voice.
The boy…flinches. Beast, why are you flinching? I haven’t even done anything this time!
“This disciple is fine, Shizun.” The boy says to the ground, like Shen Jiu doesn’t have eyes.
“My memory may be gone, but my eyes still work,” Shen Jiu says mildly, causing another flinch. Stop flinching little beast! That used to get Shen Jiu more beatings, not less! “Can you bear weight on your leg?”
Luo Binghe hesitantly meets Shen Jiu’s eyes, quickly looking away. “Yes, Shizun.”
“Are you able to get to Qian Cao peak on your own or do you need help?” Any street kid would sooner die than accept help. Shen Jiu honestly wonders what Luo Binghe will do.
The little beast attempts to take a step and nearly falls to the ground. Nearly, because Shen Jiu catches him and scoops him up into his arms before he can hit the ground. Ha! Shen Jiu thinks. Would I do this if I could remember anything, Liu Shidi?
“Liu Qingge,” Shen Jiu says, turning to his martial brother. “Would you be able to assist my disciple? At the moment I am unable to recall if I have medical supplies at my house.”
“Give him to me. I will carry him while I take you to your house, then I will bring the boy to Qian Cao.”
Remembering his secret weapon, Shen Jiu gives Liu Qingge a bright, beaming smile. It feels so wrong. But it works! His shidi swallows and then moves closer, slipping Luo Binghe out of Shen Jiu’s arm and into his own.
Shen Jiu can’t help the way his gaze lingers on the bulging muscles of Liu Shidi’s biceps and forearms. “Thank you, Liu Qingge.” he says softly. “Please lead the way.”
He sees his little beast exchanging a glance with the Bai Zhan peak lord, but neither of them comment on his obvious out of character behavior.
Liu Qingge leaves him at the bamboo house, promising to come back with an update about his little beast. Luo Binghe looks a little star struck to be up close and personal with Liu Qingge.
That’s fair, Shen Jiu thinks. It’s not everyday that the Bai Zhan war god acts as a ferry to the medical peak for the littlest Shidi on Qing Jing.
He makes the terrible medicinal tea that Mu Qingfang forced on him and sips it slowly. What would he normally do? Meditate? Paint? Practice the guqin, or calligraphy?
Therefore he opts to do none of those things, and lays down on his bed instead.
Normally, if he had to go to Qian Cao, Mu Qingfang greets him with long-suffering sighs of disappointment.
Normally, any interaction with Yue Qingyuan ends with Shen Jiu demanding answers and the sect leader apologizing uselessly.
Normally, any interaction with Liu Shidi ends up with drawn swords, raised voices and harsh words on all sides.
He has to admit…it’s a little bit…nice…not having those things happen.
Even his little beast didn’t seem quite so irritating this morning.
Surprisingly, Shen Jiu finds it a little easier to circulate his qi than he expects. With this revelation he begins cultivating and loses himself for the next few hours. Sharp rapping at his door brings him back to awareness and he gets up to see who’s there.
He finds Liu Qingge on his doorstep. This is unusual because the Bai Zhan peak lord is known for his habit of kicking in doors like a brute. Shen Jiu considers this the most startling event of the day, really.
“Liu Qingge,” Shen Jiu greets, and gives him a smile. (The secret weapon! WHY, why did he not know this?)
“Shen Jiu. Your disciple is fine. He had a cracked rib and pretty bad sprained ankle. I made him go to the dormitory, even though he said he would be fine in the woodshed.” Liu Qingge glowers at him.
Frowning, Shen Jiu considers his words carefully. “Please, come in.” He says, making an effort at hospitality. He actually hadn’t known the little beast was sleeping in the woodshed. Weak, he thinks. He should have fought back, or at least come and told Shen Jiu about it. Although, he supposes after he dumped tea on the kid’s head, Luo Binghe probably didn’t trust him much. Good! That’s something that Shen Jiu actually approves of! Trust is bad! Trusting people to do the right thing is also bad, as evidenced by, well, Shen Jiu’s entire life.
He realizes that Liu Shidi has been waiting patiently and says, “I will talk to the other disciples tomorrow.” Slyly he peeks at his Shidi and finds him with a perplexed expression on his face.
“Would you care for some tea?” Shen Jiu offers since Liu Shidi is just standing there.
Liu Qingge opens his mouth and then closes it again. He crosses his arms over his chest. “No, thank you. I must return to my peak.”
Nodding, Shen Jiu says, “Thanking Shidi for his time spent with this Shen Jiu today. Perhaps you would like to join me for tea another time?”
The pink flush seeps up into Liu Shidi’s cheeks. What has him so flustered? Honestly Shen Jiu isn’t even messing with him that much?
“Another time perhaps,” Liu Shidi says and escapes the bamboo house like Shen Jiu is waving his sword at him.
His martial siblings are being so strange today. Surely this is not caused just by Shen Jiu pretending he can’t remember them?
Well, he supposes. There’s nothing for it. He looks forward to another day of amnesia tomorrow.