Archive of Our Own

“You like that, huh?”

Chan strokes the wet strands of Felix’s hair with one hand, directing the spray of the retractable showerhead with the other. He smiles when Felix’s eyes flutter closed, a grin pulling at his lips at the teasing, cutesy tone of his voice.

“Yes!” Felix exclaims, the slight wiggle of his shoulders making Chan’s smile widen, endeared.

Chan takes a moment to soak in how beautiful Felix looks like this, with his head bent back exposing the long line of his neck, the bob of his Adam’s apple, the cute scrunch of his nose, the way his freckles pop under the set lights. He’s suddenly overcome with the desire to lean down and kiss him, to feel the press of Felix’s grin against his mouth, to swallow each sweet giggle that bubbles up from his throat. Then Felix speaks again, dialing up his goblin voice, and Chan’s heart skips a full beat.

“Yes, daddy~”

It’s only on instinct that Chan’s fingers keep moving in Felix’s hair, only the ingrained behavior that comes with being constantly in the sight of someone’s camera lens that allows him to play along even as his gut swoops with a sudden strike of arousal, blood rushing to his ears as the word settles like a hot iron over his skin.

Daddy.  

In a distant kind of way, Chan recognizes that there really are too many cameras pointed at them for him to be reacting this way, ears flushing with color, skin tingling as goosebumps flood down the length of his arms. He already felt hot under the glare of the set lights but now it feels almost unbearable, and he wishes he could turn the water all the way down to an icy temperature and turn the showerhead on himself. He’s just grateful that he’s currently positioned mostly behind the set bathtub when his cock gives a single traitorous twitch in his pajama pants.

Forcing himself into some semblance of composure, Chan manages to laugh along as Felix continues to giggle beneath him. Because this is a joke, right? Felix is just joking. Just playing it up for the cameras and the Stay who will watch this content later and surely get a kick out of it. Felix has always been playful. It’s one of Chan’s favorite qualities about him. So Chan shouldn’t read into it too much, shouldn’t make it a thing.

That’s what he keeps telling himself as he towels off Felix’s hair and they wrap up the rest of the shoot. That’s what he tells himself as he changes and gives Felix a parting kiss before he slips into the van with Changbin and Felix slides into the other van with Seungmin, one going to the studio and the other heading back to their dorm. That’s what Chan tells himself, hours later, when he’s still sitting in front of his producing equipment with Changbin and Jisung snoring softly on the couch behind him.

Don’t make it a thing. 

Don’t make it a thing. 

Don’t make it a thing.

***

When Chan is still thinking about the shoot two days later, thoughts spinning with fantasies all involving Felix’s low, breathy voice calling him… that, he finally forces himself to acknowledge it.

It’s a thing.

Chan drops himself down onto the edge of his bed, reading over the last texts that Felix sent him earlier that afternoon.

[12:32 pm]

Felix: i’ll head over with Hyunjin after our lunch

Felix: excited to see youuu ❤️

Chan rubs a hand down his face and takes a breath in an attempt to calm the insistent thud of his heartbeat against his ribs.

He should talk to Felix about this. He wants to talk to Felix about this, even though the thought makes him feel a little lightheaded. Because what’s the worst that could happen? Felix could say he didn’t mean it like that, which is what Chan already assumes. If Felix didn’t mean it that way, isn’t into it that way, doesn’t experience the same heart-skipping, dick-twitching reaction that Chan does, it’s fine. Chan will get over it.

Chan gives himself a small, self-assuring nod, and then promptly stands up to walk out of the room. A moment later, he’s standing in front of Changbin’s bedroom door, giving it a short knock.  

He and Changbin have been through a lot together over the years, and Changbin has always been at Chan’s side, supporting him and helping him work through whatever’s on his mind. Changbin will be the last extra bit of reassurance that Chan needs to feel 100% confident about this, he just knows it. 

He waits a moment for Changbin’s grunt of acknowledgement and then steps inside.

"Hey, uh,” Chan starts, watching as Changbin glances up from his phone to look at Chan lingering in his bedroom doorway. Although Chan had entered the bedroom with some semblance of confidence, every word he was going to say immediately dries up in his throat when Changbin raises an expectant eyebrow at him. Chan closes his mouth, opens it, then closes it again, blinking dumbly.

Only a split second passes as Chan desperately tries to remember how he intended to start this conversation before Changbin evidently assesses the situation for himself.

"Okay. I see, got it," Changbin responds slowly, nodding in grim acknowledgement. “So this is going to be a weird conversation. That’s cool.”

“W-What–?” Chan stutters, fumbling over the word as a thousand others spin in a chaotic jumble inside his head. “I–”

“No, it’s fine! Let me just–” Changbin rolls over, adjusts himself into an attentive sitting position at the edge of his bed, and sets his phone aside. "Okay, proceed."

"Why do you think this is going to be weird?” Chan asks, tone slightly frantic. He realizes then that he’s really not sure how he expected this to go, though the current trajectory is less than promising. “I haven't even said anything!"

"Exactly," Changbin replies with an unrepentant shrug. "You think I don’t know you well enough that I can’t sense when you’re being weird? Specifically weird, anxious, and…” Changbin pauses, tilting his head and giving Chan an appraising look. “And just, like, a little horny? Maybe even repressed horny?” Changbin frowns suddenly, gaze flicking up to meet Chan’s wide-eyed stare. “Is everything going okay with Yongbok?”

"Um, yeah, of course!” Chan exclaims, somewhat distracted as he internally recovers from being so brutally and accurately perceived. “Yeah, he’s the love of my life and everything’s great and normal between us.”

“Mhm.” Changbin nods in a way that Chan immediately reads as unconvinced. “Then why’d you come in here?”

“I was–” Chan pauses, wracking his brain for an excuse as he simultaneously recognizes that he’s digging himself into an extremely big and extremely unnecessary hole. “I was just. Curious about something.”

“Okay…?”

“Do you and, um, Hyunjinnie–” Chan winces even before the words leave his lips, regretting them the moment he speaks them into existence. “Do you use…like. Pet names? Or, uh. Titles? When you…”

Changbin stares at him as Chan trails off, blinking slowly, revealing nothing in his expression. It makes Chan sweat, wringing his hands in front of his chest.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Chan asks, haltingly.

“I’m just giving you the chance to not have this conversation,” Changbin replies, leaning forward and propping his chin on his palm. “Because I’m not convinced that you actually want to know. This– I don’t even know what to call this. Leader check-in on my relationship? Not really buying it, but I’ll play ball if that’s what you want.”

“No, I–” Chan stops and takes a long breath. This is ridiculous. Changbin is one of his best friends in the world, and they’re both adults in healthy, committed relationships. They can absolutely have a conversation about this and it doesn’t have to be weird contrary to Changbin’s initial assessment. It can be mature, informative, mutually-beneficial, even. Chan nods, regaining a shaky hold on his resolve, and continues. “No. I really am…curious. I want to know.”

“Suit yourself!” Changbin says brightly. “But don’t come back saying I never gave you an out.”

“I won’t–”

“I call Hyunjin by a lot of terms of endearment just day to day. Baby, darling, sweetheart, honey, angel, my love,” Changbin says, counting them off on his fingers. “But if we’re in bed, sometimes he asks me to call him kitten. He has to be in a certain mindset though. Same with slut.”

“I-I see,” Chan mumbles, ears flushing hot as Changbin lists all the terms of endearment and pet names so casually. Chan calls Felix by quite a few of them himself, but not nearly the same spectrum as Hyunjin and Changbin, apparently.

“As for titles, we’ve tried a few,” Changbin continues, leaning back on his palms and looking up at the ceiling with a thoughtful hum. “I like sir sometimes. Alpha if we’re doing a bit of roleplay. We’ve even tried daddy but that’s not really for me, honestly. It just feels weird to say in English in the moment and doesn’t really work the same in Korean, you know? No offense, of course.”

The sudden utterance of the word ‘daddy’ in English startles Chan so much that he almost doesn’t catch Changbin’s last sentence. When he takes a moment to process it, however, his stomach does a dizzy flip in his gut at the implication embedded in the words.

“Wait–” Chan says, waving a hand to stop Changbin’s continued monologue. “Why would I take offense?”

“I mean,” Changbin starts, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “Because you’re into it. And that’s cool, we all have our thing. It’s just not my thing, you know?”

“Who said it’s my thing?” Chan chokes, half in bewilderment and half in horror.

Changbin, to his credit, looks even more bewildered.

"I mean, Yongbok literally called you daddy on set the other day so it’s not like it’s a huge leap.” Changbin shrugs. “And I’d already just assumed it was a thing for you two based on the, you know–” Changbin makes a vague hand gesture towards Chan’s entire person. Chan waits for Changbin to continue. Changbin does not, presumably because he believes it should be self-explanatory. Chan balks.

"Felix–” Chan starts after a stunned moment, a slightly hysterical edge returning to his tone. "Felix doesn't call me that! I mean. I guess he did, yeah. But that was, um, a joke? For the camera? He’s never– we’ve never–” Chan struggles to find the words, his mind racing a mile a minute. “But I guess I want him to? Not as a joke? Maybe? But, wait, you just assumed this whole time?”

Changbin's eyes narrow at him.

"Are you fucking with me?"

"Are you fucking with me?!"

"Who's fucking?"

Both Chan and Changbin turn towards the door as Hyunjin pokes his head inside.

"Oh, Channie-hyung!" Hyunjin says with a smile. There's a suspicious tone of delight in his voice that Chan catches but is unable to fully process when Changbin is still looking at him in equal parts incomprehension and disbelief. “Yongbok is here, by the way. We didn’t realize you were in here, so he just went to your bedroom.”

“Oh, okay yeah,” Chan mumbles, nodding to himself and then to both Changbin and Hyunjin. “I should– I should go say hi, I guess.”

“Yeah, you should definitely go say hi to your boyfriend, hyung,” Hyunjin replies with a little snicker, pacing across the room to sit down next to Changbin on the bed.

“Yeah,” Changbin says, slinging an arm around Hyunjin’s waist. “Might also want to talk to him about the whole–”

“Yep!” Chan interrupts loudly, waving a hand over his shoulder as he turns on his heel and retreats hastily towards the door. “Yep, got it, thanks. Uh– yeah, enjoy, um. Each other, I guess? Okay bye!”

With that, he slips out of the room, catching what is definitely a shared, conspiratorial look between the two through the crack of the door just before he closes it shut behind him.

***

“I want to talk about something.”

Chan blurts the words out as he enters his bedroom, eyes falling on Felix curled up on top of his rumpled comforter and catching his wide, curious gaze as he looks up from his phone screen to Chan standing in the doorway.

“Yeah, okay,” Felix replies easily, sitting up and reaching out to Chan as he toes the door closed and paces across the room to kneel onto the bed beside him. “What’s up?”

As Felix’s fingers curl around his, settling their intertwined hands in his lap and staring at Chan with an open, earnest expression, Chan feels suddenly calmed, self-assured in a way he hadn’t fully felt before. Felix right beside him, touching him, grounding him.

It’s Felix, he thinks. It’s just Felix. It’ll be okay.

Chan takes a breath.

“I want to talk about a sex thing.”

“Oh,” Felix says, one corner of his lips lifting into a grin. Then, in his goblin voice that Chan finds so horribly endearing, “That sounds like fun.”

“I sure hope so!” Chan murmurs in a rush. A habitual, nervous laugh escapes his lips despite his newfound resolve. “But, uh. Yeah. I’ve just been thinking about…well something that I kind of want to try. Or I guess that I want you to try? Because it’s, um. It involves you. I mean obviously because it’s a sex thing and we’re having the sex, but what I mean is–”

“Chris,” Felix interrupts softly, squeezing Chan’s hand in his. Then there’s a hand on his face, tilting his head up until he’s looking into Felix’s face. Felix’s face with his pretty smile and kind eyes and gorgeous freckles that Chan loves so much.

God, I love him so much.

“Just tell me,” Felix whispers, stroking Chan’s cheek and offering him a small, encouraging nod. 

“You can say no.”

“I know.”

“Because you might think it’s weird.”

“I kind of doubt that, but go on.”

“Okay.” Chan takes a long breath, already feeling heat flooding his face. “I want you to try calling me daddy in bed. Like during sex.”

There’s a moment where they both just stare at each other, Chan watching as Felix’s eyes widen perceptibly and his lips part in a small, astonished ‘o’.

“And that’s, uh. That’s it. That’s all I wanted to say,” Chan stammers, eyes flicking away from Felix’s to fix on a point over his shoulder. His heart is beating so fast he can feel it everywhere, the anxious pulse of it thunderous in his ears.

Then he hears the impossible sound of Felix’s laugh, and his eyes snap back just as Felix curls forward into his chest, shaking with helpless giggles.

“Oh my god?” Felix gasps, high and breathy and absolutely incomprehensible to Chan. “There’s no way.”

Chan’s brow pinches, heart dropping at the words.

“Like I said, you can say no,” he murmurs, slightly hurt. Then Felix is springing up again, clutching Chan’s face in both hands and shaking his head, a look of sudden concern taking over the previous mirth.

“No, no. That’s not–” Felix starts. There’s something awed in the way he’s looking at Chan, something Chan is seeing but not comprehending about the brightness in Felix’s dark brown eyes. “No, I’m so sorry. That was the wrong reaction. It’s just. Oh my god, I was just talking to Hyunjin about this.”

“You were what?”

“When we were at lunch,” Felix continues. “Oh my god it was literally exactly this.”

“You–” Chan starts, brain short-circuiting, “You were talking to Hyunjin? About this?”

“Yeah! I, um–” Felix pauses, his free hand gesturing vaguely between the two of them as his cheeks flush a soft pink. He bites his lip, then continues, voice pitching lower, almost shy. “I needed advice. On how to bring it up to you. After what I said on set the other day.”

“You were going to bring it up to me? The daddy thing?” Chan feels like he’s having an out of body experience. “Like, about calling me daddy? Because– wait, you don’t want me to call you daddy, do you? I mean I’m not necessarily saying no but–”

“No, Chris, oh my god–” Felix huffs a loud sigh, looking briefly up at the ceiling before determinedly settling his gaze on Chan again. “Yes, I want to call you daddy. Like, I have for an embarrassingly long time.”

Chan is not breathing. He’s suddenly unsure if he has taken a breath ever in his life. 

“Are you serious?”

“Yes?”

“Like…we’re both into this?” Chan feels his lips lift into a smile of their own accord, the anxiety that had been thrumming through his body slowly filtering out and replacing itself with a new, electric eagerness. “Just to confirm?”

“Yeah,” Felix replies, nodding enthusiastically. “Super into this.”

“Wow, uh–” Chan feels like he’s floating, bursting at the seams. “Then can you, um. Can you say it? Now I really wanna hear you say it, Lix.”

“Yeah? Fuck, wow, okay,” Felix murmurs breathlessly, half-lidded eyes dropping to Chan’s lips and then back up to look at him with a renewed heat that makes Chan’s breath stick in his throat, dizzy already with anticipation. “Daddy really wants to hear me say it, huh?”

Arousal hits Chan like a punch in the gut, struck breathless as the title drips from Felix’s lips in his warm, deep voice. It washes over him with a shiver, and his breath picks up as the roar of his heartbeat returns with force.

“Holy shit,” Chan breathes, letting out a helpless little laugh as Felix grins giddily back at him. “Holy shit, yeah. That’s so hot, Lix. Please, again–”

“Yeah?” Felix simpers, adjusting himself so he’s propped up on his knees. Then he unlaces their fingers so he can gently guide Chan back against the sheets with the palm of his hand flat on his chest. Chan goes easily, melting under Felix’s hot gaze, the way he sears him with each appreciative pass. “Daddy likes it?”

“Fuck yeah,” Chan’s breath stutter-stops in his throat when Felix straddles his hips, leaning down to press an open-mouthed kiss to his throat. “Sounds so good when you say it, Lix.”

“Baby,” Felix murmurs, lifting his face to press a kiss to Chan’s jaw before whispering his next words against his parted lips. “Call me baby. Please, hyung. Please, daddy.” 

“Of course, baby,” Chan corrects himself softly, lifting his hands to thread his fingers in the hair at Felix’s nape, pulling him down for a proper kiss. He can feel Felix melt into him, the slow sigh exhaled through his nose brushing over Chan’s cheeks. He catches the moment that his boyfriend’s eyes flutter closed just before Chan’s lips open against his, inviting the deep, consuming glide of their tongues. 

When he eventually comes up for air, it’s with Felix’s bottom lip between his teeth, giving the plush flesh a gentle tug. When Felix opens his eyes again, there’s a distinct haziness to his gaze, one Chan recognizes well. 

He’s so gorgeous like this, so incredibly gorgeous.

“My baby,” Chan murmurs softly, kissing the corner of Felix’s mouth. “Daddy’s pretty baby.”

The moan Felix lets out is so loud it sounds almost wounded, and Chan can’t help but grin into the flushed skin of his cheek. The sound lights a surge of confidence in his chest, the assurance that Felix is just as into this as he is. The undeniable truth that they get to share this incredible, intimate thing.

“When you say it like that,” Felix groans, pressing their foreheads together. “When you call yourself daddy in third person. Fuck, it’s so hot. I feel like I’m dreaming. A really hot, definitely wet dream.”

Chan laughs again, though the laugh cuts off with a choked noise when Felix shifts in his lap and his ass nudges against where Chan has predictably hardened in his joggers, turned on by the way the title sounds in Felix’s voice, the sense of protective authority it gives him that goes beyond his usual sense of leadership responsibility.

It feels like Felix is handing a part of himself over to Chan with each utterance, trusting him to take care of him, to keep him safe, to make him feel good. And it feels like Chan is revealing an equally intimate part of himself by accepting the title, holding onto Felix’s trust and vulnerability with so much unbridled reverence that he shivers with it, aches to hold onto Felix everywhere all at once. To unravel him and then piece him back together again with all the attentiveness and care and love that Chan carries for him in his heart, displayed clear as day on his sleeve.

Although Chan’s experienced countless moments of intimacy with Felix, there’s a level of intensity that thrums between them now that outmatches all the rest. It sears under Chan’s skin, roars in his ears, makes his cock throb with how much he needs Felix to need him in this moment.

“You’re not dreaming, baby,” Chan whispers, holding Felix tighter around the waist so he can pull his legs up under himself and tilt them both to the side so it’s Felix splayed back against the sheets and Chan kneeling above him. “Hyung will– daddy will give you whatever you want.” 

“Oh my god,” Felix moans in a breathless rush, his pupils dilated wide and cheeks flushed with his own visible arousal.

Chan’s forced to lean back slightly as Felix clumsily wiggles his way out of his shirt, his head getting stuck in the neck collar for a moment in his haste before Chan helps him the rest of the way out with an endeared huff of laughter. Felix gives his head a little shake so the staticky strands of his blonde hair fall away from his face, and then he lets out a soft, shaky moan as Chan promptly leans down to press another soft kiss to his lips before trailing his mouth down to drag open-mouthed kisses along Felix’s neck, across his collarbones, and down his sternum. 

“Just tell me,” Chan murmurs, tonguing over Felix’s bare chest and leaving wet, glistening patches along his increasingly flushed, fevered skin. “Just tell daddy what you want, baby.”

“Want to see you,” Felix replies, his chest moving up and down in quick pants as he reaches down to tug impatiently at the back of Chan’s black muscle tee. “Please, daddy. Let me see you–”

Chan immediately straightens up, reaching back to pull his shirt off over his head and tossing it aside. He also ruffles his hair a bit so it’s out of his face and when he looks down to focus on Felix again, he’s struck by the pure want in his gaze. The way his eyes rake over Chan’s bare chest, his muscled abdomen, the slight ‘v’ that narrows past the elastic waistband of his boxers peeking out under his joggers.

“You’re so fucking hot,” Felix moans, dropping his hands over his face and then immediately lifting them again so he can drag his eyes over Chan’s body, like he can’t bring himself to look away for even one second. “You’re so hot it makes me insane. Fuck–” Felix props himself up on his elbows to hook his fingers in the waistband of Chan’s joggers, giving them a hard, meaningful tug. “These too. Off. All of it."

“Fuck, Lix,” Chan groans, removing his joggers and boxers as gracefully as he can manage when he’s shaking all over in anticipation, vibrating down to his bones with how much he wants, especially as Felix rids himself of his own clothes at the same time, revealing his perfect body for Chan’s hungry eyes.

When they’re both completely undressed, Felix reaches out to cup Chan by his nape, pulling him down for a bruising kiss. With his other hand, Felix takes Chan’s cock in his grip, swiping the pad of his thumb over the leaking slit. Chan groans against the open part of Felix’s mouth and rolls his hips into the tight circle of his fingers, chasing the sudden intense, bright pleasure.

“G-God–” Chan moans, breaking the kiss to drop his head, looking between their bodies where Felix’s small fingers curl around him, his cock flushed and hard and leaking enough precome to slick the glide of Felix’s fist with each stroke.

“So wet,” Felix murmurs, an appreciative lilt to his tone. Chan looks up again just as Felix’s lips pull into a slow, syrupy grin. “Dripping all over my hand. Making me so dirty, daddy. I like it.”

“You’re going to be the death of me, huh?” Chan asks, laughing breathlessly when Felix simply flashes him a devious smirk in return. “Keep talking like that and I’m–” Chan’s eyelids flutter with another choked groan when Felix’s hand dips lower to cup his balls, giving them a squeeze that makes Chan’s eyes roll back in his head. “And f- fuck, I’m gonna die.”

“Not allowed to die on me,” Felix replies with a cute, exaggerated pout, moving his hand from Chan’s nape to pinch his chin between his fingers and direct Chan’s hazy gaze right at him. “Not until I come, yeah?”

“Okay, baby, okay,” Chan replies with a hurried nod, breath hitching when the pad of Felix’s thumb strokes along his wet bottom lip in the same moment that his other thumb dips into the slit of Chan’s even wetter cockhead. “Daddy will make you come. Tell me–”

“Together,” Felix interrupts, arching his back slightly so his own cock brushes against Chan’s where Felix grips him. “Wanna come together but–” Felix lets out a small, frustrated sigh. “But my hands are too small. Can’t hold us both so I need–” Felix’s pout returns to his lips as he looks between them and then back up at Chan, eyes wide and shining, bordering on petulant. “Daddy please–”

“Shh, it’s okay, baby,” Chan murmurs softly, reassuringly even as his own head spins. He purses his lips to press a kiss to Felix’s thumb still hovering near his mouth and gently nudges aside his hand to take both of their lengths in his own and give them a testing stroke. “Daddy’s got you, okay? Just like this, yeah?”

Felix’s cock is fever-hot against him, just as hard and wet. They both groan in unison as Chan finds a rhythm, Felix’s head dropping back as his eyelids flutter closed. Chan leans forward on an elbow to drop another kiss against Felix’s sweaty temple, murmuring close to his ear as he rolls his hips in time to each downward stroke of his tight fight encompassing them both. 

“My baby. My pretty baby.” Chan feels the build of his orgasm deep in his gut, the coil of pleasure tightening with each drag of his cock against Felix’s and each low moan and hitched whine that Felix breathes between them. “Feel so good, baby. So, so good for me.”

“Hhn– daddy–” Felix keens, loud and needy. Chan feels the distinct twitch of Felix’s cock in his hand and looks down to spot the bead of precome that weeps from his flushed slit. 

“You like it when daddy tells you how pretty you are?” Chan breathes, dragging his lips across the flushed curve of Felix’s ear. “How good you are for daddy?”

A distant part of himself recognizes that in any other situation, he would be mortified to find himself speaking this way out loud, knowing that the almost pornographic nature of the words would make him cringe down to his very core. But in the heat of the moment, this close to his own orgasm and Felix writhing in enthusiastic, unbridled pleasure underneath him, it comes so naturally. 

He never wants it to end, never wants to stop feeling and hearing that way Felix responds to his touch, his words. Not when it makes him feel this good, not when it makes Felix look so beautiful and debauched and desperate.

“Yes, daddy–” Felix moans in a depraved parody of the same words that brought them to this moment. “Wanna be good for you. Wanna be daddy’s pretty baby, hhn w-want–”

“I know–” Chan interrupts softly. “Daddy knows what you want, sweetheart.” He focuses his grip where their cockheads rub up against each other, working in hard fast strokes. Pleasure sears under Chan’s skin, white hot and all-encompassing as he tumbles towards the edge of his orgasm and tugs Felix along with him. “Come for me. Come all over daddy’s cock, baby.”

“A-ah hnn–!”

Chan lifts his head just in time to watch the moment that Felix’s orgasm washes over him, to watch the way he arches up into him, every muscle tense as his mouth drops open with a muted whine and eyes pinch close from the force of pure pleasure. As Chan continues stroking them, chasing his own orgasm, he feels Felix’s cock pulse against him, leaking thick streaks of come that coat Chan’s fingers, dripping obscenely.

“That’s it,” Chan praises, panting hard as he feels himself tip closer, closer, closer. “Fuck, so hot. Came all over me, baby. So good, so messy, s-shit–"

Chan’s own orgasm is an explosion of stars behind his eyelids, a tight coil finally snapping, a crested wave finally crashing down. It hits him with enough force to leave him breathless and dizzy, succumbing to the pull of pleasure dragging him deep, deep into its hot, syrupy hold.

When he resurfaces again, it’s with Felix’s fingers curled at his nape, pressing soft kiss after softer kiss to Chan’s parted lips. As he comes back to himself, Chan naturally leans into each, returning the gentle affection with soft sighs of lingering pleasure and tender caresses of his tongue along Felix’s bottom lip.

Thoroughly grounded again, Chan’s eyes flutter open, heart swooping in his chest when he’s immediately met with Felix looking right back at him with a bright glint of amusement in his gaze.

“Wow,” Felix whispers, lips pulling into a grin. Chan barely resists the urge to kiss him again.

“Yeah, um…” Chan trails off for a moment, his brain still recalibrating. “That was really. Really good? For, uh. For me at least?”

Felix laughs, a bright and airy sound. Then he leans in to give Chan’s cheek a quick kiss. “It was good for me too.”

“Oh,” Chan replies softly. “Oh good.”

As he looks back at Felix, at the pink that still stains his freckled cheeks and the lovely line of his smiling mouth, Chan’s suddenly overwhelmed by just how lucky he is. Just how lucky he is to be able to have this with Felix, to desire something so badly and have it be so lovingly and enthusiastically reciprocated. It makes his chest tighten with sudden emotion, and he reaches out to wrap his arms around Felix and pull him close into a firm hug.

“I love you,” Chan murmurs into Felix’s hair, closing his eyes as he feels Felix’s arms squeeze around his shoulders. “I just love you so much.”

“I love you too,” Felix replies, swaying them both a little in their tight, tangled embrace. “And I’m just– just really glad you brought this up, you know?” Felix unloops his arms from around Chan’s shoulders so he can hold Chan’s face in his palms instead, rubbing his thumb across Chan’s cheekbone in tender strokes as he snorts a soft laugh. “Honestly, I can’t believe it took us this long to get here.”

“Same,” Chan admits with a laugh of his own, basking in Felix’s touch. “I also can’t believe Changbin was right this whole time.”

“Changbinnie-hyung?” Felix asks, lifting an eyebrow. “Right about what?”

“Oh–” Chan pauses, his lips pulling into a slow, apprehensive smile as Felix eyes him expectantly. “So funny story…”