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“Here’s the last one on your list. You’re in luck, it was just returned yesterday!”
“Great.”
Levi deadpanned the statement, completely uninterested in what he was doing, and accepted the book that the librarian, Hanji, had pulled off the shelf. He watched as they climbed down the ladder, and then waved him forward toward the front of the library.
“Come with me and I’ll check you out, and then you can be on your way. Is this for a research paper you’re doing?”
“They’re for Erwin. He’s sick.” Levi explained, following while Hanji made a sound of understanding.
Erwin and Hanji were friends because he came to this library all the time, whether it was to study for exams, do homework or research, or to just find some extracurricular books to read. But right now he had the flu, and had his graduate thesis due in a few weeks. Levi - his roommate and boyfriend for just over a year - had been given a list of books and articles he needed to get started, and had gone to the library to pick them up for Erwin since he was only capable of getting out of bed when he had a fresh attack of the runs.
“You must be Levi, then!” Hanji exclaimed, looking back at him and giving him a knowing smile. “Erwin talks about you all the time.”
Levi scowled at that - the comment making his heart flutter annoyingly - and nodded once briefly.
“I’ve never seen you here before, though. Do you not go to the university?”
“I’m in culinary school.” Levi said in a flat tone, hoping his dismissive attitude would discourage any more prying questions.
Instead, Hanji apparently took the fact that they had a mutual acquaintance as an invitation to ask more, and Levi was bombarded by exclamations like ‘that’s why Erwin likes you so much!’ and questions about what his classes were like and what he could cook, and even a plea to taste his meals sometime.
By the time they reached the counter he was rubbing his forehead and just nodding because Hanji was talking so fast he couldn’t get a word in anyway, but luckily there was an old, white-haired lady in front of him with a cartload of what looked to be erotic romance novels and he was given a breather. Hanji had to check her out first, and with the amount of books she had, it was obviously going to take a few minutes.
Levi spent the wait in line going over the other errands he had to do in his head until it was finally his turn. Luckily, Hanji was too preoccupied with scanning his books and taking his library card to ask him more questions, and just gave him everything back with ‘get well soon’ wishes for Erwin. Levi assured Hanji he would tell him because he wanted Erwin to be well too, and left, climbing into his car in the parking lot and tossing the books one by one into the passenger’s seat.
The Roman Army: A Social and Institutional History, Battle Tactics of the Roman Empire, Greek & Roman Warfare, and about five other books and articles along the same vein were thrown to the side. He was making sure he’d gotten the right ones before he drove away, but Erwin’s studies were boring to him, and he almost zoned out until he reached the last book.
What the fuck? He thought, freezing and narrowing his eyes. This hadn’t been one of the books he’d picked up.
It was an erotic novel entitled Hot & Horny Part I: A Lass’s Enchantment, and if Levi wasn’t holding the book in his hands, he would’ve assumed it was the name of some weird porno. Cringing, he thought of the old woman in front of him, and realized it must have been one of hers and gotten mixed up with his stuff by mistake. How had Hanji not noticed? Did they really think he read trash like this?
Moving to get out of his car to bring it back, he stopped, however, when the part of the cover under the title caught his eye. There was a man on the front, tall, blonde, and handsome. His hair was long and stopped at his shoulders, and he was shirtless. Levi could see his huge biceps and defined chest and stomach, and even though he couldn’t tell what the hell he was supposed to be - maybe a viking, or a warrior of some kind? - he couldn’t help but be attracted to the image.
Even so, he still didn’t know what possessed him to open the book to a random page.
Jerrik stood up, his sweaty thigh meat rippling in the dim lighting of Elizabeth’s bedroom. His abs glistened and trembled with force when he tossed aside his axe, and then ripped off his loincloth to reveal his throbbing manhood. Elizabeth gasped when she saw it, her hand flying to her ample bosom, which was now heaving with arousal. His love wand was so thick she wasn’t sure if she could wrap her fingers all the way around it, but before she could try, Jerrik had crowded her against the wall with his swelling pectorals and lifted up her dress.
Levi’s eyes had gotten wider with every word he’d read, continuing on while Jerrik kissed Elizabeth passionately, hoisted her up against the wall with little effort, and began to enter her ‘love canal’ with his massive ‘clam hammer’ while she moaned in unbridled ecstasy. Suddenly, though, another car door slammed near him, and he jumped, tossing the book to the side in a near panic.
His face was red, but it wasn’t from the book - definitely not from the book. Just the thought of someone catching him reading garbage like that was enough to make him feel embarrassed, and without even looking out his window, he started his car and sped away.
He didn’t think about the book again until later, after he’d finished the rest of his errands which included grocery shopping and picking up some anti-diarrheals and fever reducers for Erwin from the pharmacy. When he got back to his and Erwin’s apartment, he unloaded the bags of items he’d bought, discarding the books on the table because he doubted Erwin was in any condition to look at them yet.
He was right. When he went to check on him, Erwin was lying in their bed exactly how he’d left him, wrapped up in two heavy blankets to ward off his chills. All Levi could see was the top of his messy blonde hair sticking out from underneath them, and he assumed he was asleep until he stirred.
“Did you shit yourself yet?” Levi asked, walking over to place the fresh glass of water he’d brought with him on the bedside table.
Erwin groaned a negative, thankfully, and peeked out at him from over the blankets. He looked pale and exhausted except for his cheeks, which were red and splotchy with what was probably fever. A quick hand to his forehead confirmed it when Levi felt how warm he was, and he frowned, imagining how miserable he must be feeling.
“I’ll bring you something for the fever. Do you want anything else, while I’m babying you?” He was only teasing, and kissed the palm of his other hand before placing it against Erwin’s cheek gently. It was an indirect kiss, the best he was willing to do when Erwin was this sick. “Do you think you can eat some soup without shitting it out immediately?”
Erwin groaned again, this time more positively, managing to smile a little at the feel of Levi’s hand on his face before he told him he’d be right back. He went to get Erwin’s medicine and soup after washing his hands, and only thought about the book again once Erwin had eaten and felt well enough to ask about Levi’s trip to the library.
“Did they have everything on my list?” He asked, watching as Levi took the empty bowl from him and then fluffed his pillows.
“Yeah.” Levi answered, opening his mouth to complain about Hanji before he abruptly remembered Hot & Horny and the buff, gorgeous man on the cover.
Of course, his imagination immediately supplied him with an image of the man naked, his thick, pulsating erection standing up between his legs courtesy of the passage he’d read in the book. His cheeks grew warm thinking about it before he could even fathom why, and something must have shown on his face because Erwin cleared his throat.
“Levi, are you alright?” He mumbled, his brows drawing down in concern. “You look like you’re going to be sick. You haven’t caught the flu, have you?
“What? No.” Levi answered, snapping out of it and grimacing at the thought. “Don’t even say that.”
“Sorry.” Erwin said, sounding more pitiful than Levi had ever heard him. He sighed, and glanced at him with an expression that could only be described as ‘puppy dog like.’ “Ah, do you mind bringing me the books? And another glass of water, please.”
Levi nodded, turning to leave, only to be stopped when Erwin grabbed his arm. Levi looked back and raised an eyebrow, staring at the frown on Erwin’s face. He sighed, shaking his head before relenting to place one small kiss on Erwin’s forehead.
“Tch.” He said, immediately wiping his mouth on his sleeve afterward. “Who knew you were such a baby when you were sick.”
Erwin just gave him a weak smile in response, and thanked him when Levi came back a few minutes later with his books and his water. He’d left the erotic novel on the table, of course, and planned to go stick it back in his car so he could return it to the library next time he was out. He didn’t want Erwin to see it if he happened to wander into the other room, either, because if he did, he’d never hear the end of his fucking teasing.
When Levi went to go get rid of the book, however, he found himself lingering with it in his hands, the cover catching his eye again. He thought about the passage he’d read, and actually found himself with the urge to find out what happened next. Well, not that he couldn’t guess what happened next, but he’d been interrupted before he’d gotten to the good part.
Why did he want to keep reading this shitty book, though? These types of novels were infamous for being terrible and unrealistic, and furthermore, he wasn’t attracted to women. He only liked men, so why would he want to read about a heterosexual couple having sex? Did that even have anything to do with it? He didn’t know, but he wanted to keep reading so bad that he didn’t care.
His only other concern was getting caught, but Erwin was sick - he wouldn’t be getting out of bed anytime soon. At least not tonight, anyway, which would be plenty of time for him to get his fill of the book and then get rid of it.
Now that it was settled, Levi made himself a cup of tea and plopped down on the couch, flipping through the book until he’d found where he’d left off.
“Oh, Jerrik, yes!” Elizabeth exclaimed, thrusting her massive, heaving breasts into the air.
When he entered her, parting her pulsating pink petals with the head of his engorged schlong, she was filled with such sexual pleasure that she came instantly. Her orgasm racked her body and she screamed, clutching at Jerrik’s massive shoulders while he continued to ram her. He raided her sensitive, treasure-filled pleasure vault repeatedly with his man sword, holding her against the wall and pressing his surging muscles down over her bosom. His thick rug of manly, wiry chest hair tickled her nipples, and with another dramatic cry Elizabeth came again with Jerrik’s name on her tongue.
She quivered and Jerrik pulled his cock out of her, wet from her juices, and turned her around so he could continue to have his way with her. He grunted like a beast, sweat flying from his thick mane of blonde hair, and thrusted hard until he too came with a roar. He pumped her full of his thick, syrupy seed, and the sound he made caused Elizabeth to swoon. She fell backwards into Jerrik’s arms, spots dancing across her vision from the intense, life-changing pleasure she had just experienced.
At that, Levi had to pause because he realized he was getting hard in his pants, just from reading a few paragraphs out of some random, shitty romance novel. He felt embarrassed and ridiculous, but he couldn’t help it. As much as he didn’t want to, he found the descriptions in the book enjoyable, or, well, hot. It wasn’t Elizabeth, it was Jerrik, the tall, muscled warrior that had somehow traveled forward through time, Levi learned as he kept reading.
She was the descendant of his first love, who had died tragically at the hands of his enemies. His grief had stirred his gods, and although they couldn’t bring his love back to life, they could apparently send him into the future to her great-great-great-great-great-great Granddaughter. They’d fallen in love instantly, and when they had sex, Levi couldn’t help but imagine himself in Elizabeth’s place - held down and ravaged by a masculine, buff warrior from another time.
It was perhaps a silly fantasy, but one that had him so engrossed in the book that he couldn’t put it down. He ended up finishing it that night, closing it and realizing, to his surprise, that it was 2:00 in the morning. Fortunately or unfortunately - he wasn’t sure yet - he’d seen something that had caught his eye on the very last page before he’d gone to shamefully jerk off while Erwin snored in the other room.
Apparently, this novel was part of a series, and there were more stories featuring characters just like Jerrik and Elizabeth. More books about tall, strapping, and powerful warriors, and their corresponding heroines. Levi couldn’t believe it, but he’d enjoyed Hot & Horny so much that he was considering going back to the library to look for more.
He tried to convince himself not to, but his resistance lasted only until about halfway through the next day.
“Erwin.” He said, coming into the bedroom where his boyfriend was still sick in bed. He was a little better, but he still had a fever, and couldn’t keep anything down other than soup or rice. “Do you, uh, need anything else from the library?”
Erwin turned his head from where he’d been watching television, twisting over to look at Levi who was standing in the door. “Hm? I don’t think so. Why do you ask? I thought you hated the library.”
“I never said that.” Levi scowled immediately, already on the verge of getting flustered because he was paranoid about inciting Erwin’s suspicions. “I have to go back to the post office. The library is on my way, and you’re still only getting out of bed when you have the shits. Its not a big deal.”
Erwin chuckled weakly at Levi’s words, his head flopping back down onto his pillow tiredly.
“Well, if you have time, you could see if they have anything on Caesar’s conquest of Gaul. After last night, I narrowed down my studies a bit. Those battles were decisive and helped establish-”
“Yeah, yeah.” Levi interrupted, not wanting Erwin to get started on some tangent about Roman history. “I’ll check.”
Levi did check. Even though it was an excuse for him to go to the library - a different library, though, because he didn’t want Hanji catching him checking out erotic novels - he wasn’t about to come back to Erwin empty handed. He just grabbed about four or five books quickly that looked like they were related to what Erwin had been talking about, and then found his way over to the romance section.
He crept there slowly, looking around to make sure there was no one he knew anywhere nearby. When he reached the shelves, the only other person looking was a middle-aged woman, accompanied by 2 rowdy children. Fortunately, she was too busy keeping them quiet to pay him any mind, but he kept his distance at the end of the aisle until she left. Only then did he find the section he wanted, the shelves containing other works by the author of Hot & Horny.
They had nearly every book in the series he was looking for, and to his astonishment, even more. This author was prolific, apparently, because there were novels and series not just about ancient warriors, but about pirates, vikings, Scotsman and even vampires. All of the covers featured the same hunky blonde man as the first book he’d read, dressed up in a kilt or a pirate outfit or as whatever else he was supposed to be. Usually he was shirtless, the glistening muscles of his chest almost always topping a very large and noticeable bulge.
Looking at them all, Levi found himself almost painfully interested, excitement blossoming in his chest at the new world he’d just discovered. He was getting ready to grab an armful of them when he remembered what the fuck he was looking at, though, and although he’d given up on convincing himself that he shouldn’t read them, he still had to keep them hidden from Erwin.
Perhaps, for now anyway, he should only take a few.
That evening, Levi returned home with four erotic novels and five history books, and found Erwin sitting up in bed eating cereal. Apparently he felt a lot better because he’d gotten it himself, and because he wasn’t looking as pale or as feverish as he had been that morning. Levi was glad to see him looking more well, but also a little nervous because he knew once Erwin was able to move around the apartment again, he’d have to be more sneaky about when and where he read in comparison to the night before.
However, it was still close to a week before he was completely better, and three more days before his fever had broken and he was well enough to not spend most of his day in bed. By then, Levi had read two more books and was halfway through a third. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, he was quickly becoming obsessed. He’d poured through the first new one, practically inhaling the story of Anna, a young nurse who’d fallen through a rift in time and landed in the arms of the warrior Borik, her soon to be lover.
Compared to Jerrik from the first book, Borik was gentle, and liked to kiss Anna passionately before he ripped her shirt off and drove her into ecstasy. Afterward, he would run his fingers through her hair, a gesture which betrayed the ‘softness that existed inside his gruff exterior and hard, warrior’s heart’, apparently.
The next book had been about Rosa and Vangar, a beautiful, busty waitress and the leader of his tribe of warriors, respectfully. Vangar had been beautiful and busty too, in Levi’s opinion, with long, light colored hair and pecs described as the size of Rosa’s head. They always undulated whenever she laid her eyes on them, just like how his ‘spear of love’ undulated inside her ‘quivering snatch’ every time he made love to her.
Levi could not remember how Vangar had ended up in Rosa’s time period or vice versa, and although the books did have vague plots around all the erotica, Levi barely remembered those either. All he was really reading them for was the descriptions of the men, and the sex scenes where he had an astoundingly easy time imagining himself as the one they were grinding their thick, sweaty muscles on top of while they pillaged their partner’s love cave.
It only got worse during the weeks that followed, even though Erwin was back to normal and Levi was forced to only read while he was at class or studying in the library. A week and a half into his obsession, he’d exhausted all the novels about ancient warriors and had to move on to pirates. That opened up a whole new setting, although it was still much of the same, with the exception of wet, burly, blonde haired sailors doing the ravishing instead of ancient warriors.
With new material, the fantasies got so bad that Levi even started to feel guilty about them, because while Erwin’s flu was gone, they hadn’t had sex since before he’d come down with it. He wasn’t sure that this was expressly why - after all, he hadn’t considered himself unsatisfied before - but it did get him thinking. He enjoyed what he and Erwin did in bed, very much, but sometimes he wished Erwin would be a little more rough with him.
He was a very generous and caring partner, Levi had discovered over the past year, and that certainly extended to what they did while they were between the sheets. More often than not, he would take great care to ensure that Levi was enjoying himself the most and that he wasn’t doing anything to cause him pain or to make him uncomfortable, ridiculously enough, even when they swapped. Levi was lucky to have someone like that, but it wasn’t like he couldn’t take it if Erwin decided to let loose and pound him into oblivion, and it wasn’t like he didn’t trust him to not hurt him while doing so either.
He wanted him to act like the men in these books, he found, sweeping their lover off their feet and carrying them to bed where they had their way with them. He wanted Erwin to pin him down to the bed so he could jerk his pants down over his ass, maneuvering and manhandling him however he wanted, fingering him just enough so that he could fuck him brutally into the mattress. There was something about the thought of Erwin claiming him - in bed at least - that set his blood boiling, something that he hadn’t known before that he’d wanted.
Although he didn’t understand it, he didn’t care, but the only problem was he didn’t know how to ask for it. So for now, until he figured it out, he was just going to have to settle for Jerrik and Borik and Vangar, and their pirate counterparts.
“Levi.” Erwin said one evening as Levi thought about all this, finishing up the practice gourmet dinner he’d made for them. “Is something on your mind? I don’t think you’ve heard a word I’ve said all night.”
“No.” Levi blurted immediately as he looked down at his plate, his face flushing with embarrassment and guilt because he’d been thinking about the novel he was currently reading, about the last scene he’d read where Sven the lusty pirate king had taken his fair maiden Nora on a very rough pleasure cruise.
He hadn’t just been thinking about Sven though, or his powerful biceps and stunning pectorals that hung out of his open shirt, but of Erwin too. Erwin, wearing Sven’s lacy blouse and pantaloons and feathery hat, pushing him down onto his bunk and tearing his trousers open, nudging his thighs apart with his knee so he could enter him in one swift stroke.
It had been like that a lot more lately, with his imagination conjuring up images of Erwin in the place of the man on the cover, dressed like whatever type of theme the current book he was reading had. It made sense when he thought about it, because after all, Erwin was who he really wanted despite how attractive the other men were too.
“Alright.” Erwin said softly, giving him a look that held no small amount of concern. “You’ve just been quiet lately. I wasn’t sure if something was wrong, or-”
“I’m fine.” Levi said, cutting him off because he wanted to end the conversation.
Erwin pressing made him feel anxious, but unfortunately, Levi’s short tone had caused his lips to pull down into a frown, one that held the slightest hint of hurt behind it. Shit, he hadn’t meant to upset him, but how the fuck was he supposed to confess that he’d been reading erotic novels for the past month and fantasizing about some strange combination of Erwin and other men?
Before he could figure out something to say to break the suddenly tense mood, though, Erwin stood up from the table and took his plate with him.
“I was going to ask if you wanted to join me in bed.” He said stiffly, bending to load it into the dishwasher. “But if you don’t want to talk, I guess you don’t want to do that either.”
Then he was gone, leaving Levi alone in the kitchen with his mouth hanging open, a sick, guilty feeling sitting heavy in his stomach. It wasn’t really like Erwin to get snippy with him like that, and the fact that he had let Levi know showed how much he must really be bothered. He felt so shitty about all of it that he didn’t even read before bed - something that he’d been doing almost every night for the past few weeks - and instead spent the time trying to figure out what to say to Erwin. In the end, he couldn’t come up with any answers, and retreated sullenly to the bedroom long after Erwin had already gone to sleep.
But as much as he’d worried about it that night, it turned out he didn’t have to say anything at all. A few days later, he was late for a scheduled cooking class at his school. It was important, and him graduating that year hinged on a taste test that was supposed to happen at the end of the lesson. He’d gotten up late somehow, and in his rush, ran out the door without even realizing he’d left the backpack he hid his erotic novels in on the kitchen table. When he got back, though, it didn’t take long for him to realize what he’d done.
“Levi.” Erwin said, greeting him when he returned. He had been attending his own classes when Levi left, but since his cooking ones were so long, he’d already been back for a few hours. “How did your class go?”
“Not bad. I passed.”
“I knew you would.”
Erwin gave him a smile, one that lasted longer than it normally would and had a slightly playful look to it. It made Levi pause and squint, his senses telling him immediately that something was amiss.
“What are you doing?” He asked, staring at where Erwin was sitting on the couch.
“Well, I was just doing some light reading.” Was his answer, and that was when Levi saw the book sitting beside him on the end table.
“Shit.” Levi blurted, as soon as he saw it.
It was one of his books, the one about Sven the pirate king, in fact, and he couldn’t stop the panic stricken look that crossed his face. He moved quickly and lunged in an attempt to grab it, but Erwin was faster, snatching it off the table and looking down to appraise the cover.
“Yes, imagine my surprise when I discovered your backpack nearly overflowing with novels like these on the kitchen table.”
“Why the fuck did you go through my bookbag, you bastard?” Levi spat, his face hot with embarrassment and anger.
The anger was more at himself for leaving his shit out than Erwin, because he doubted Erwin had gone through his things with any kind of ill intent. He’d been so careful up until now, how could this have fucking happened? If he hadn’t been in such a rush, it probably wouldn’t have, but he was found out now and he had absolutely no idea what to say.
“I was trying to do some cleaning because I knew you wouldn’t have as much time today, and when I moved your bag this fell out. Are you really reading these, Levi, or is there some other explanation?”
Briefly, Levi had felt concerned that Erwin was going to be angry with him for this, but as he spoke, the playful, amused hint to his expression and voice didn’t disappear. That didn’t stop him from feeling gut wrenching embarrassment, though, and he debated on whether he should lie or not. He might be able to get out of this situation if he did, but then he recalled how he’d hurt Erwin’s feelings a few nights earlier. He’d felt guilty ever since, and figured that well, he’d probably done enough sneaking around the past month, even if it was over something as stupid as books.
He was silent while he debated this, looking at Erwin stubbornly until he’d made his decision. Then he swallowed, clenching his jaw and looking away, closing his eyes before he was able to speak.
“I’m reading them.” He mumbled. His cheeks were flushed, burning so hotly that he was sure they were bright red, and he could hear his pulse pounding in his ears. It all just added to how sick with mortification he felt, and he struggled to come up with something that would make it seem less bad somehow. “But only a few, its-”
At that, Erwin started laughing, loud peals of it that had Levi’s eyes flying open again as his shame suddenly turned into anger.
“Why are you laughing?! They’re just books, why the fuck does it matter?” He snarled, jolting himself forward again in an attempt to grab the book out of Erwin’s hands.
Erwin caught his wrist though, making Levi freeze, his laughter stopping as quickly as it had started.
“I’m sorry, Levi. I’m not trying to humiliate you. Its just, well, these type of books aren’t known for being masterpieces of literature, among other things.”
“I know that, shithead, I-”
“How long have you been reading them?”
Levi huffed, averting his eyes again and grinding his teeth. “Not that long, since you were sick. Fucking Hanji gave me one by mistake when I went to the library for you that time, it wasn’t like I went looking for them!”
“I see. But you read it, and liked it so much that you went back for others. Why do you enjoy them so much? I know it isn’t the women.”
“Shut up.” Levi scowled, his face twisting into it. Erwin had made that comment because he was gay, obviously, and to his complete expectation, apparently couldn’t resist teasing him about every single aspect of this situation. “Its...I, goddammit-”
“Is it the men? Is it this one right here, Sven?”
“Erwin-”
“Or is it how they fuck?”
Levi had been trying to tug his wrist out from Erwin’s grip, but at that, he froze. Erwin had hit the nail right on the head, and his words and the way he’d said it made him go red for an entirely different reason. He seemed to realize it too based on Levi’s reaction, and suddenly jerked him forward so that he was half straddling him on the couch. He wrapped an arm around Levi’s waist and held him still, keeping the book out of reach as he flipped to a page he’d marked.
“Let’s see. How about this passage?”
“Erwin, for fuck’s sake-” Levi said, his voice rising with a hint of panic. Was he seriously going to read a passage out of this book? His stomach clenched in fear and panic, and he started squirming in an attempt to get away again. Unfortunately, it was all to no avail.
“Sven unbuttoned his shirt slowly, revealing the carved perfection of his plentiful pectorals and amber-tanned abs. His sea-sprayed hair fell down over his shoulders, and sweat ran between his muscles from the humid Caribbean air. Nora’s nipples hardened immediately when she saw him, and Sven reached forward to tear the front of her dress down over her bouncing, bountiful breasts.
The pleased gasp that left his throat had her quivering for more, and Sven was only happy to provide. He turned her around and pushed her skirt up, bending her over the railing of his balcony so he could enter her as he pleased.”
“Erwin, shut the fuck up!” Levi nearly yelled, his breath coming quickly while he struggled. He didn’t think he’d ever been this embarrassed in his entire life, and he would give anything to disappear. It all sounded twice as bad with Erwin reading it outloud in his deep, serious tone, but no matter how much Levi squirmed, he wasn’t able to get the book from him short of actually moving violently enough to hurt him. “Why are you doing this?!”
“Because, this entire time I thought you were acting so strangely because of me. I thought you were becoming uninterested and that you might be thinking about ending things. I have to admit, though, I would have never guessed that this was the real reason, and I’m still not sure I understand. Do you fantasize about these men? I’m not upset with you, I just want to know.”
The question had Levi squeezing his eyes shut again, unable to look Erwin in the eye. Thankfully, though, he’d finally put the book down after he’d stopped reading, and had spoken to him honestly instead of with the intent to tease. It made him feel guilty all over again, though, because fuck - Erwin had thought he’d been wanting to leave him this entire time? Apparently, he hadn’t realized how distracted he’d been, and he certainly hadn’t realized that Erwin had picked up on it that much. With that thought in mind, he decided that as terrible as it was going to be, the best way to save himself more shame and Erwin more doubt was to just admit everything.
“At first, yeah, a little.” He managed to say, after taking a deep breath. He’d opened his eyes again but still wouldn’t look at Erwin, only sliding his gaze over before he blurted out his next string of words. “Then it was just you.”
“Me? How?”
Levi paused again, his mind immediately drifting to all the fantasies he’d had about Erwin. All of them were related to the scenes from the books he’d read, and lately it had been happening every time. Even while Erwin had been reading just then, and even despite Levi’s shame, he couldn’t help but conjure up an image of Erwin stripping off his shirt, pushing him over a railing and shoving the skirt of the dress he was wearing - the dress that his imagination had given him for some unexplainable reason - up over his hips.
The only problem was, he really didn’t want to necessarily admit to all the details, so he figured he should probably just cut to the chase.
“You’re too fucking gentle with me, Erwin.” He blurted, shifting again in his grip, frustration evident in his voice. “You treat me like I’m going to break or some shit, and I wish you would just-”
“If you were unsatisfied, why didn’t you say something?”
“I didn’t say I was unsatisfied. I’m not, fuck. But maybe sometimes I want you to do...like, shit, like what they do in the books…” Levi cursed, stumbling over his words and chewing on his lip, his face reddening all over again as he thought about it.
The books had made him damn horny, and this was the longest they’d ever gone without fooling around. Now that he was practically sitting in Erwin’s lap, finally admitting all of this shit, when he was able to think past his embarrassment he half-hoped that it might lead to something.
Fortunately, he was not disappointed, as a look Levi knew all too well had appeared in Erwin's eyes as he spoke.
“I see.” He said simply, trailing off like he was thinking.
He tightened his hold on Levi's waist a second later before his eyes locked onto his lips. It was long and deliberate enough for Levi to notice, and he felt his heart rate start to quicken again - this time in excitement - and he licked them in anticipation of a kiss. Instead of feeling the warm press of Erwin's mouth, however, he found himself suddenly hoisted into the air without warning, his hips pressed against Erwin's chest as he was haphazardly slung over his shoulder like a giant sack of potatoes.
"Erwin!" He all but yelped, his voice going high in an embarrassing tone of surprise.
He squirmed a bit, his first reaction to get angry, but then stilled when Erwin wrapped an arm tightly around his legs to keep him from moving. He realized he was heading in the direction of their bedroom, but before he had time to contemplate the sudden shift away from their topic of conversation and to try to figure out what the hell was happening, he was jerked off of Erwin’s shoulders and thrown down onto the bed roughly.
“What are you doing?!” He blurted then, planting his palms down behind himself and attempting to sit up.
Immediately, though, he was pushed down again by Erwin, who had shoved a knee between his legs and grabbed both of his wrists tightly. He pulled them over his head and bent, sticking his face into the crook of Levi’s neck and inhaling before his nose then brushed against his ear.
“I’m giving you what you want.” He murmured in a low tone, putting enough pressure against Levi’s crotch with his knee to make him gasp. “Isn’t this it?”
Levi swallowed. It certainly was what he wanted, and although he’d registered when Erwin had carried him off that this might be what was happening, the surprise of it had taken him off guard. Now that Erwin had given him a moment’s pause to catch his bearing, however, he found his mouth dry from the amount of heat that was suddenly pouring through him.
“Yeah.” He gasped, flexing his arms against Erwin’s grip. “Fuck, Erwin, you-”
He’d been about to curse him for making him go through all that shit earlier, but he cut himself off when he twisted his head so that Erwin could capture his lips with his own. He kissed him hungrily, the pressure of it so bruising and so forceful that their teeth clacked together. No sooner had he opened his mouth than Erwin’s tongue was sliding across his, hot and wet and claiming his mouth as he shifted to grind his bulge against Levi’s leg.
He was already rock hard - Levi could feel it - and so was he. He could tell that Erwin wasn’t holding back just from the rough way he’d tossed him onto the bed and pinned him down, and it made him want more, made him respond just as eagerly because he wanted Erwin to take him like he’d imagined. He caught the drift when Levi arched his back and pushed his leg up against his crotch, and grunted harshly in his throat before he pulled away and flipped Levi over onto his stomach.
Within a second he was pushing Levi down into the bed again, his breath coming hot and heavy against his skin when he bent to nudge his neck to the side so he could press his mouth to it. He kissed an aggressive trail down the back of it, his lips wet as he sucked marks and his teeth sharp as they bit into his throat. All Levi could do in response was whine because Erwin had a hold of his wrists again, panting as he stuck his ass out into the air against Erwin’s erection.
Levi was quickly becoming desperate for more contact, and he was rewarded when Erwin shoved a hand between his legs and up underneath his shirt a moment later.
“If you wanted it like this, you should’ve told me, Levi.” He said, leaning over him again to nip at his jaw and neck. “Do you know how many times I’ve held back? How many times I’ve wanted to pin you down and fuck you so hard you couldn’t move?”
“Fuck.” Levi cursed beneath him, squirming and gasping when Erwin slid his hand up to give one of his nipples a sharp pinch. He rolled it between his fingers and tugged, hard, and Levi couldn’t contain his moan this time before stuttering: “You didn’t say anything either-”
“You’re right. I should have. But I guess it doesn’t matter now. Be still and I’ll make it up to you.”
At his words, said with a growl and full of promise, Levi shuddered. He didn’t move as Erwin’s hand trailed back down over the bulge inside his pants, squeezing it once before he went for the button. Levi expected him to fumble with it for a few seconds like he always did, but instead, he just stuck his fingers between the clasp and pulled. He jerked at it so hard with his hand that the fucking button popped off, and Levi cursed again, flinching at the tearing sound when Erwin tore through his zipper too.
Then he was pulling his pants and underwear down, and although there was a brief moment of rumination where Levi lamented at how Erwin had just ruined his jeans, it was quickly replaced by searing arousal. Erwin had just basically ripped his pants open to get to his cock, which he was now stroking firmly and unrelentingly in the palm of one hand while he thumbed at his balls.
The moan that came out of Levi’s mouth was embarrassingly high-pitched considering how Erwin had just started touching him there, but he couldn’t help it. It had only been a few minutes, but he was more turned on than he had been in a long time.
A moment later and Erwin was shifting so he could free his backside, sliding his pants and underwear over the curve of it in one swift jerk. Normally, at this point, Erwin would take his time to appreciate Levi’s ass, running his hands over it or peppering it with soft kisses before he started licking at him or gently inserting a finger. However, this time, Levi only had a second to try and prepare himself before Erwin’s tongue was inside him, running a wet stripe up between his cheeks before plunging inside him without warning.
Levi swore again, inhaling sharply at being breached so suddenly, and shoved his ass backwards against Erwin’s face. That just earned him a harsh slap, Erwin’s hand glancing sharply off the top of his thigh before he groped his ass and roughly spread him again. It made him jerk and clench around his tongue, the surprised cry he’d let out turning into a breathy, drawn-out moan at the slick feel of Erwin probing him and mouthing around his rim. The sounds coming from behind him were wet and lewd, and Erwin’s fingers were digging into his cheeks so hard that Levi hadn’t moved again.
After a second, Levi heard a rumbling groan from behind him, and felt Erwin run the tip of his tongue over his entrance one more time before pulling away. It was almost as suddenly as he’d started, and Levi’s hole fluttered at the absence, empty now, and he whined, reaching back without thinking to try and grab onto Erwin’s shoulder or hair, or whatever he could reach to drag him back down where he wanted him.
His arm was knocked away though, twisted against his back as Erwin sat up and ran a wet finger up his crack. Then, to Levi’s express surprise, horror, and unexplained arousal, Erwin spat right onto his asshole and pushed his thumb inside him before he could protest.
“What the fuck?!” He blurted, twisting around to look at Erwin over his shoulder.
It wasn’t necessarily a complaint; he was just surprised, but his sudden movement only got him shoved back down face first onto the bed before Erwin spoke.
“I told you to be still.” He said, working his finger in.
He’d loosened him up enough with his tongue so that it slid in fairly easily, but as soon as the feel of it pressed all the way inside him made Levi exhale and hang his jaw open it was gone again, and Erwin was climbing off the bed.
“Don’t move, Levi.” He told him, more firmly this time.
The rough edge to his voice was obvious, so much so that it made Levi shudder, the tremble running down his spine and staying in his thighs while Erwin looked for the lube in the bedside table. He didn’t move like he’d been told except to watch Erwin with his eyes, even keeping his arm twisted behind his back where Erwin had left it. His ass was in the air - exposed lewdly - and his pants were tangled down around his knees, and the only sounds in the room were that of his panting and Erwin shifting around the contents of the drawer.
A few long, drawn out seconds later and he returned, pausing to remove his shirt so that when he was kneeling behind Levi on the bed again, he got an eyeful of his chest. The small break had given Levi time for his mind to wander, and although he found himself thinking that Erwin’s muscles weren’t straining against a thin shirt or glistening with seawater like in his books, but staring at it, Levi wanted it covering him more than anything in the world.
It seemed like soon he would have it, too, because Erwin certainly wasn’t wasting any time for once. No sooner had another whine left Levi’s lips than he was lubing up his ass and fingers, and pushing two inside of him as far as they would go.
“Shit-” Levi swore.
The stretch made him inhale, sucking in air through his teeth while he dug his fingers into the bedding, but he spread his legs wider beneath him all the same, angling his ass up towards Erwin’s hand for more. It was rough and hurried but that’s what he’d been craving, and every time Erwin groped him harshly and shoved him back into place where he wanted him it just turned Levi on more.
Soon he was adding a third finger, rubbing at where Levi’s hole was stretched around them with his thumb. He curled and twisted them sharply against his prostate before Levi had even adjusted, making him moan and writhe and pant wetly against the sheets to try to catch his breath.
“I’m going to fuck you now, Levi.” Erwin said then, slipping his fingers out. “Keep your ass spread open for me.”
Levi could only nod at this point, Erwin’s tone and his words practically rendering him speechless. He reached back with shaking hands to grip his cheeks like he’d been told, though, spreading them for Erwin while he undid his belt buckle. The sound of it made him bite his lip because he knew what was coming, and it was only a few moments later before Erwin was pressing the blunt head of his cock into him.
He hadn’t had nearly as much preparation as he was used to, and Erwin didn’t give him any mercy. He slid in without stopping, albeit slowly, splitting him with a relentless pressure that took the breath out of him. It didn’t feel bad, though, just intense and overwhelming, so much so that all he could do was lie there and press his face into the bed, digging his fingers into the meat of his ass so his hands wouldn’t slip off.
“Erwin, fuck, Erwin-” He moaned when he’d caught his breath, his voice hitching sharply.
Another time he might have found it embarrassing, but right now he didn’t even notice. It was hard to think about anything other than the thickness of Erwin’s cock and how heavy it felt in his ass, how full he was now that he’d slid in to the hilt, and how satisfying it was to be split so much.
His hips and balls fit snugly against the backside of Levi’s ass like this, warm and solid from where Erwin was pressing him down. He’d paused for a moment to give Levi a single moment to adjust, and as he shifted beneath him, Erwin uttered the first open noise he’d made all night. It was a low groan, one that made Levi’s own cock twitch because of how pleased he sounded, and when he twisted his head around to look at him he saw that he wore a blissful expression to match.
A heated flush swept over his cheekbones, and his eyes were bright. He was gazing down at Levi from underneath heavy, half-closed lids, and breathing hard from between his lips. They fell open even wider when he started moving, and although Levi could have stared at that sight all night, he didn’t see any more because he had to bury his face back against the bed to muffle his cries.
Erwin fucked him hard just like he’d imagined it all those times, the grip he had on his hips so firm that he was sure he would have bruises. Every time he thrusted forward he jerked Levi back to meet him, his pace steady and unyielding. Soon, though, he started to go faster, and Levi couldn’t keep a grip on his ass anymore. His hands slipped off and he grew louder, unable to control the volume of his voice because it felt too good.
Every rough jolt of Erwin’s hips practically forced a sound from his throat anyway, the feel of his cock pushing deep inside him over and over again making him cry out. It was all half drowned out by the loud sound of their skin slapping together anyway, the noises growing more frequent the faster and harder Erwin went.
Erwin was holding him down and pressing him into the mattress, but Levi’s hips were still in the air enough for him to reach his cock. He grabbed at it to stroke himself after a moment, but before he could Erwin was pulling out and flipping him over again. He jerked his pants the rest of the way off and grabbed his legs, pushing them backwards over his chest so that he was effectively bent in half.
“Don’t touch yourself until I tell you to.” Erwin told him, letting go of one of his legs for a brief second so he could guide his cock back inside.
Levi made a rough sound when he felt it, his mouth falling open immediately. It turned into a whine, though, because he ached to touch himself, his body strung so tightly by now that he felt like if he did, he’d come quickly. But he didn’t, he obeyed Erwin, and instead grabbed at the sheets, his fingers clenching in and pulling at them while Erwin resumed his rough, unforgiving pace.
He wasn’t holding back here either, that much was obvious, and he was holding Levi’s legs so far back that it pushed his hips up off the bed. Every time he thrusted he drove in deep and right against Levi’s prostate, the angle and the force of his cock brushing it causing him to nearly see stars. Above him, Erwin had completely lost his breath and was panting hard, his brows drawn and his expression twisted so much that he almost looked pained.
That wasn’t it, of course, he was just focused, and Levi could tell that he was getting close. If his face didn’t clue him into it, his movements did, because they’d started to grow less controlled and more jerky, so much so that the bed was squeaking noisily beneath them.
“Erwin-” Levi moaned, tilting his head back but keeping his eyes open so he could watch.
Erwin’s eyes were locked onto his face too, and with a breathy exhale of his own he suddenly released, his hips rocking up desperately into Levi’s and his fingers digging into the muscles of his calves. Then he let go of Levi’s legs and fell onto him, grabbing his jaw and holding his head in place so he could plant a wet, messy kiss onto his lips.
He moved his mouth possessively, Levi thought, even though he was barely able to comprehend anything over how desperate he felt for his own release. He squirmed and whimpered, bucking his hips, searching for any friction that would relieve the aching in his cock. Erwin reacted fast though, and grabbed it himself, pulling away to press his forehead against Levi’s while he tugged at him with his fingers.
It was only a few seconds before he came too, Erwin’s blue eyes over his the last thing he saw before he couldn’t keep them open anymore. After so long on the edge, he came hard, biting down on his lip so sharply while the pleasure wracked through him that he probably left teeth marks. Although it was somewhat muffled he was moaning loudly, barely realizing it until Erwin pulled out and rolled off of him to the side. He grabbed at him and cut him off, and Levi found himself on his side and in his arms, Erwin’s lips pressed against his again in a deep kiss.
They clung to each other, the movements of their mouths hurried, but tender after everything that had just happened. They were both still breathing hard, trying to catch their breath, and after Levi’s heart stopped racing they finally broke apart.
“Fuck.” Was the first thing he said, his eyes wide as he looked at Erwin.
His voice was hoarse and his throat was dry from all his gasping, and sweat had made his skin sticky. Erwin’s was the same, he saw, portions of his blonde hair damp and stuck to his forehead. Levi reached over to push it back as Erwin gave him an open mouthed smile, closing his eyes when he felt Erwin’s fingers on his face too.
“Are you alright?” He asked, his thumb tracing a line over Levi’s cheek.
It was a strange thing to ask, because Levi didn’t think he seemed like he wasn’t alright. He got the sense that Erwin meant something more along the lines of ‘did you enjoy it?’, a question to which Levi’s answer would have been ‘shit yes’. He felt completely wrecked and satisfied at the same time, his body still humming with the pleasant aftereffects of his orgasm. He could barely move, and although things had happened so fast that he’d barely been able to comprehend it, thinking about it now it had been exactly what he wanted and just as good as he’d imagined it to be in his fantasies.
No, it had been better, he thought, opening his eyes to look into Erwin’s searching gaze. Erwin had never fucked him like that before, and although it had seemed like Erwin was having his way with him, Levi knew that in a way, it wasn’t actually the case. He’d talked shit, but he’d done it in the first place because Levi wanted him to in order to please him, and the thought warmed him inside and just made it that much better.
“My ass is going to be sore.” He finally answered, his lower back already feeling a little stiff from where he’d been arched and frozen with it shoved into the air.
Erwin chuckled, but then his smile faltered a little. “I’m so-”
“Don’t apologize, idiot.” Levi interrupted him, scowling. “That means it was good.”
“Good? Not even ‘not bad,’ but good? That’s quite a compliment coming from you.” Erwin teased, shifting.
This close, their legs had become tangled together, and Erwin slid his hand down along Levi’s skin to grip his waist. He tugged him closer, and although Levi rolled his eyes at his comment, he conceded and pressed his face against Erwin’s chest.
“Sorry I was shitty.” He mumbled, thinking back on how he’d hidden the books from Erwin. Erwin had thought he’d been hiding something else from him, something that had to do with their relationship, and in the end, that had perhaps been the worst part of everything. “I shouldn’t have hidden the books from you. I shouldn’t have even read them, it was stupid.”
“Its alright. I understand you were embarrassed, I just thought you were getting ready to tell me you were leaving.”
“No.” Levi murmured, reaching up to slide a hand around Erwin’s neck.
Hearing him say that, he felt guilty all over again, because never once during any of this had that been the case. He’d never even thought about it, and in fact, just the idea of it filled him with a pang of sorrow. Sighing, he tugged at Erwin’s head, kissing him lightly on the cheek when he obliged him and ducked down.
“Good. But, for the record, Levi, you don’t have to hide things from me just because you’re embarrassed. I don’t mind if you like terrible romance novels.”
Levi shoved at Erwin’s chest, blushing hotly with shame at the reminder even though Erwin was only teasing him. He unwound his arms from around Erwin’s neck and rolled over, stretching, not at all surprised when Erwin followed him. He wrapped an arm over Levi’s waist and pressed himself against his back, propping himself up with his other elbow so he could lean over him.
“I also don’t mind obliging you in bed.” He murmured, kissing Levi’s neck once, his words making him freeze. “I enjoy it, actually. So next time you want me to fuck you harder or pin you down, all you have to do is ask.”
Levi blinked, swallowing at the statement, his cheeks warming up and a flutter of excitement going through him all over again as Erwin continued to mouth at his skin.
“If you want,” He said, pulling away to look at him, an odd glimmer in his eye that made Levi squint. “I’ll even wear a pirate hat.”