Work Text:
She caught herself thinking about kissing Ava.
Her lips looked so soft and inviting, it wasn’t fair.
If she was honest with herself, she didn’t want to stop her imagination, she wanted to let it roam free and unbound.
It was not fair though, and it was not allowed.
She once had made a promise, more than that, a vow.
When Beatrice had become a nun, it was the simplest thing, celibacy, not a big deal for someone who thought they would never have sex anyway.
She never wanted to have sex with men and the alternative, having sex with women, was just so far out of reach.
It just didn’t seem like an option at all.
So yeah, celibacy, whatever, right?
Now though, there was this girl, woman, someone Beatrice longed for, not only but also in a sexual way.
Aside from her vow, there were so many things to consider, so many uncertainties, like, would Ava reciprocate her feelings, and if so, would they both even live long enough to act on them?
Never mind that Beatrice wasn’t even close to the point of acting, she was stuck on thinking, so this was fine with her, should have been fine.
She thought maybe she could live on this fantasy alone, holding Ava in her arms, kissing her.
It would provide her with enough sustenance to keep her going even through the darkest hours.
Could it be enough though?