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There was a boy sitting in Pepper's chair.
Well, "boy" was not the exact term. He was more of an overgrown teenager, or maybe a college student? There was no way to know with the newer generations, they all ate like hungry wrestlers nowadays. Or maybe they were all the same and Tony never noticed because he never really hung out with other people.
"Oh shit!"
The boy finally noticed Tony's presence. His eyes widened and he nearly jumped out of his chair, which was kind of funny because he stopped middair to gasp and froze, just like that. Like a deer caught in headlights. Or a fish in a net. The comparison made Tony smile.
"Hi-hi, Ir... No, Mr Stark!"
Cute, Tony thought. Sort of. The boy was tall and awkward, with a thin body hidden under typical teenager clothes: faded jeans, a grey hoodie and white sneakers he had scribbed on with nonsensical drawings. His face was okay, if you liked the big-eyed puppy type. Tony shrugged and looked around. No sign of Pepper Potts.
"Hey, kid, would you know where my CEO is? I need her for a personal matter."
"Huh..."
"What are you doing here anyway? I thought she was a lesbian?"
"Huh?"
"Aren't you a little young anyway? Where's your guardian?"
The boy didn't have the time to reply, because Pepper rushed into the room and glared at Tony. At last, the genie of the abode appeared! She quickly took the lead of the conversation.
"He's nineteen, Tony, not nine."
Surprising. Tony would have given him less, not that it mattered. He wasn't here to discuss a total stranger's age with Pepper.
"I need to talk to you," he said with a side glance at the boy. "Privately."
"I still have a ton of work to finish before tonight..."
"Pretty please? With a cherry on top."
Pepper frowned. When Tony insisted to talk like that, it meant serious business. It meant whiney and vaguely entitled discussions and long laments about his love life (or lack thereof). She knew it, Tony knew it and they both knew the other knew too.
God, he was such a mess.
"Give me a moment," Pepper said.
Tony let out a sigh. Great, now he could pour all his frustrated feelings into her unfortunate ears. He needed the listening session, badly. Pepper motioned the boy to get out of the room.
"Thank you for your helpful input, Peter," she said. "Do you want me to call you a taxi?"
"Oh no, don't bother!" the boy said with the most gentle voice Tony ever heard coming from a person's mouth. "I can manage. It's just... I mean, I told you I wanted to... huh..."
The boy, Peter, glanced at Tony with a sheepish expression before he lowered his eyes and blushed. It was fascinating. Was he one of his numerous fans, maybe? Tony knew they had created quite the community online. They called themselves the Starkers, if he recalled. Some of them were so enamoured of the depiction of Tony Stark they created in their head that they stopped at nothing to sleep with him. Unfortunately, he was very well acquainted with them.
Pepper chuckled after hearing Peter's reply. Her eyes lingered on the boy's face, then she looked at Tony and shook her head. Okay, that was weird. The boy had an obvious crush on Tony, but Pepper never enabled any inappropriate behavior in her office. She always kicked out Tony's occasional lovers before they made any fuss.
"I understand. In that case, can you wait for us in the waiting room? I need to talk to Tony first."
"Okay," Peter nodded with a terrified expression. "Take your time."
Tony waited for the boy to close the door before he turned to Pepper with a smirk.
"Since when do you like young boys?"
"Since never, Tony," Pepper rolled her eyes. "He needed some advice, so he came here."
"And who might he be, if that's not too intrusive?"
"A friend."
"Usually, you don't mix private and professional affairs."
"In this case, I do."
"Suspicious."
"He's a good person," Pepper said slowly. "Don't be a dick."
"Aha! You said person. So he's not a male, right? Is that why you're close?"
Pepper groaned in annoyance.
"No, Tony, he's a guy. I guess? I didn't personally see his genitals and I don't have any reason to. He's just here for a friendly advice. As you are, I suppose?"
Tony looked around by force of habit, but he knew he couldn't be heard. The door was closed and the desk was too far from it for the boy to hear what he was about to say. He sighed and put his face in his hands. Time to let the shame eat him and the little dignity he had left.
"I fucked up again," he lamented.
"With Spider-Man?"
Tony whined. The memories of what happened surged through his mind and he had to restrain himself not to launch his body out of the building. Pepper's office was on the last floor. Death by defenestration would probably save him from weeks of embarrassment, but it would be very inconvenient for her.
"So," Pepper sat on the chair next to him and put a soothing hand on his shoulder. "What did you do this time? Did you stumble on your feet in front of him? Blush at something he said? Rushed to the fight because he was in danger?"
"I confessed in front of the entire team," Tony blurted.
There was a long silence.
"Oof."
"It's bad, huh? I know it's bad. Oh my god, I'm so stupid."
"How did this happen?"
Tony whined again.
"It was all Strange's fault. We were supposed to corner Zemo so Strange could put a spell on him. All because of Rogue, you know. He had her captured and handed over to Doom, it was supposed to be an easy rescue mission! Instead of that, Strange missed and he hit me with the spell! And Spider-Man helped me to stand, so of course, of fucking course I had to confess on the spot! In front of the entire team! My life is over!"
"You're so melodramatic," Pepper said. "Your life is fine. You told me you wanted to confess anyway."
"NOT LIKE THAT! Oh fuck, he must think I'm a creep! And what about the others? They must be shocked! What if they don't trust me anymore?!"
Then, Pepper did something preposterous. She laughed. She laughed, when Tony's life was in shambles and his relationships with his friends in jeopardy! When the love of his life probably thought he was the most creepy creep that ever crept near him!
"Pepper! It's not fucking funny, Spider-Man knows I love him! He probably hates me now!"
"No... way!" Pepper continued to cackle like her life depended on it. Her body was convulsed with laughter. "That explains... so much!"
"Pepper, you don't understand! I need you to tell everyone I'm on my deathbed!"
"What?"
That sobered her fast, that was for sure.
"You can't hate someone who's dying, right?" Tony continued to rant. "So if I convince a few doctors I have a terminal illness..."
"Oh, come on," Pepper snorted. "Don't be stupid, Tony."
"I knew it, you're making fun of me! When I told you my life is over! Everyone must laugh at me too!"
"I don't doubt that, but not for the reasons you think. Tony, did you ever wonder why everybody always teams you up with Spider-Man lately, even for the most ridiculous reasons?"
Tony simply stared at her; his head was blank. What was she talking about? Here he was, telling her he was in a pinch concerning his personal life, and she questioned the team he formed with Spider-Man? There was absolutely no problem with them for this matter! They were the best working duo amongst the Avengers!
"We work well together," he said, a little wary. "It's like Steve and Bucky, we're very good on the field."
"Tony," Pepper shook her head in disbelief. "Everyone knows you have a crush on him. We're all trying to pair you up because we want you to get your head out of your ass for once and ask him out. Even he's waiting for it."
"Who?"
"Spider-Man, dummy."
"Huh?!"
"He's in love with you! Has been for years, but he didn't want to make the first move because... of his reasons. Which were quite good, I must admit. Two years ago. Now he's just too deep into his lies to confess by himself, but this situation is perfect! You two can be together at last!"
Tony stared at her. None of what Pepper said made sense. He was about to ask what she meant when he heard a small knock on the door, followed by a tiny cough.
Pepper opened the door. Peter was waiting on the other side, his face so red it was almost on fire. They exchanged a few glances, two little nods, and Pepper grabbed her bag before making a beeline to the door.
"Pepper?" Tony said, surprised. "Where are you going?"
"I'm taking an early lunch outside," she winked at him. "I don't think I will be back before 2PM at least. Take your time."
"What? Now? What am I supposed to do with my problem?"
"Solve it with the other party?"
"What?"
The door closed before Tony could ask another question. He was alone with the young man.
Oh, boy. What now? Tony didn't know anymore. His life was so much simpler when he was convinced he was straight. Damn Spider-Man and his sexiness. His spandex, too. Way too suggestive. That would be enough to convert anyone to the dark side.
Peter made a small noise. Oh, right, the puppy fanboy... guy. Tony sighed. What was he supposed to do with this kid? Feed him and send him home? He wasn't really in the mood for adopting yet another street rat. He had had enough last time with Kamala.
"So, huh, Peter, right? Nice to meet you?"
"Me too," Peter blurted. "I do."
"Excuse me?"
The expression on Peter's face was... intense, to say the least. Tony gulped. Was it normal? He didn't know. He was out of touch with young people this boy's age.
"I love you too," Peter said with the most besotted look he'd ever seen on a man. "Have been in love with you for years, but I was too young to do anything about that. Then I became old enough and I didn't know how to tell you so I left it at that and now I regret everything because we lost one year and I love you too."
Uh-oh. The boy had it bad, it seemed. Tony tried to find a gentle way to reject him. He was young, he didn't want him to become hysterical or something, because God knew his reputation was bad enough without having yet another scandalous (and imaginary) affair on his hands. Too young. Too passionate. He was not what Tony needed and besides, his heart was kind of stuck on one person right now. Too bad the person in question probably thought he was a pervert.
"Listen, Peter, I'm not really like the tabloids describe... I did have my fair share of lovers, but you know, it's not all that glamorous..."
Peter pursed his lips. Tony tried to find something bad to say about himself. To his horror, he found out it was more easy than he thought.
"I'm a playboy, a workaholic, narcissistic and probably a little suicidal too. I love the thrill of the chase and... danger. I thrive on danger and adrenaline. You would always be worried about me, hell, I'm worried about myself all the time. I drink like an Asgardian without the alcohol tolerance, I'm an egoistical douchebag... Pepper's words, not mine, but she's good with people so she must be right. Oh, and I'm old. Like, nearly five decades old, I knew disco, that's saying something. We're so not a good match."
Peter stared at him.... and burst out laughing, just like that. Which was kind of offensive and very unexpected, but if that was all it took to make him loose interest, Tony was all for the sudden burst of hilarity. Not that it changed from what his friends were probably doing when they talked about him.
"Right. I forgot I came in my everyday clothes."
"Your what?"
The boy took out two metallic wristbands from his bag, strapped them on his wrists and showed them to Tony. They were strangely familiar.
"I told you I created them myself," Peter said with a shy smile. "You always wanted to look at them more closely, but I was always against it because it was personal. That was my excuse, but in reality, you would have seen they were just a bunch of contraptions thrown together in a high school lab by a kid."
Tony couldn't detach his eyes from the devices. Peter curved the fingers of his right hand in a certain way, making the thumb, the index and the little finger stand out in a familiar gesture. One thin thread of sticky white fluid came out of the wristband. It got stuck on the wall.
No way. No fucking way.
"Spider-Man?"
Peter's nervous smile was beautiful.
"Hi, Iron Man."