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Yes, you had been asked to the Yule Ball by a few guys, even from Beauxbatons and Durmstrang - but you had turned all of them down. Some would call you insane if they found out who you really wanted to take you, but you didn't care.
Ron was caring and funny, and your best friend - well, one of them. Hermione and Harry were obviously also your best friends, but you couldn't deny that Ron may be your favourite. You had known him before you even started Hogwarts, as your dad worked with his dad in the Ministry, and you had met Ron at work gatherings where families were invited. You didn't become close with him until first year, though.
It must have been second year when you developed feelings for him, but you couldn't pinpoint an exact moment.
Now, you were all in fourth year, celebrating the first Triwizard Tournament in an incredibly long time, that Harry was inadvertently enrolled in. You had successfully kept your feelings for Ron under wrap for the last couple years, but that was mainly thanks to him being the most oblivious boy to ever walk the earth.
With the announcement of the Yule Ball, however, you had decided it was time to take your chances and reveal your feelings for him. You just didn't know when or how.
***
Ron was no stranger to making a complaint. Many found it annoying, but you couldn't help but find it endearing as you watched him rant about the ugly ball robes he had to wear during breakfast.
"They have these hideous tassel things on the sleeves, and the colour is completely old-fashioned," he groaned, "I don't know how mum expects me to wear them."
"I'm sure she'd have bought something nicer if she had the money," you said, chewing on your toast, "I don't think she's intentionally out to get you."
He sighed, "I know, I just hate them. Say, Hermione, do you think you know a charm that could at least get rid of the tassels?"
The girl glared at him, "Find your own way out for once."
You didn't know why she was so grumpy that morning, but decided it was better not to ask, so instead you casually tried to ask, "Any of you got dates to the Yule Ball yet?"
All three of them shook their heads.
"Yeah, me neither."
"At least you don't have hideous robes."
"Are we seriously still on that?" Hermione snapped, slamming her book shut, "I'm heading to the library. See you all later."
"Blimey, who spat in her coffee this morning?" Ron asked rhetorically, making Harry shrug.
You sighed inwardly. Boys were so emotionally unaware.
"Does it not cross your minds to ask her? Comfort her?" you said to them, "Instead of just complaining about her attitude?"
They both stared at you blankly.
You rolled your eyes, and stood up, "Right then, I guess I'll do it. Some use you two are."
It was times like this you weren't so fond of your crush on Ron.
***
"Viktor Krum is taking me to the dance," Hermione said to you quietly one day as you sat down by the lake.
"Isn't he like three years older than us?"
"It's just a ball," she shrugged, "I'm not planning on dating him."
You frowned, finding the age gap questionable, but decided to leave it.
"Have you got a date?"
"Yeah, I mean, this Hufflepuff fifth year asked me. I don't really like him but I didn't wanna be alone." After you had found out Harry and Ron were going with the Patil twins, you had accepted the offer of the next decent guy that asked you. You found it difficult to disguise your jealousy, so you needed a distraction.
She hummed, "Same here."
If only you had worked up the courage to ask Ron yourself, instead of hoping on him asking you. Nonetheless, you prayed you would still be able to work up the courage to confess during the ball, despite knowing pretty confidently he didn't return your feelings. Honestly, you just wanted to get it off your chest so you could move on.
"What's your dress like?" Hermione asked, bringing you out of your thoughts.
"Dark green, mermaid cut," you said, acknowledging the aching and sombre atmosphere around the two of you. Sure, it was a comfortably breezy and chilly morning, and neither of you were mad at each other, but it was clear you were both saddened by something.
"Sounds gorgeous."
"What's yours like?"
***
You stared into the mirror, your lip between your teeth.
Even you could acknowledge that you looked pretty, but was it pretty enough? Why did you feel this pressure to be the most stunning person in the room?
No, that wasn't right. You just wanted to be the most stunning person in his eyes. Which was stupid.
You took a deep breath, and after applying another layer of mascara, you began making your way down the stairs of the dormitory. Your date had agreed to meet you outside of the hall, and the entire way you held fears of him standing you up, despite the fact that he really didn't matter to you that much. Oscar didn't stand you up, as it turned out. He greeted you with a smile and a compliment on your appearance, which admittedly flattered you.
"Shall we?" he said, offering his arm.
"We shall."
You felt bad that you were intending to confess to an entirely different person than him.
You and Oscar found yourselves walking alongside Viktor and Hermione into the hall, where you saw Ron and Harry stood with the Patil twins. For a brief second, your eyes locked with Ron's, and the slight fluster in his appearance had your heartbeat racing. Nonetheless, you allowed Oscar to lead you to the dance floor when the time came; you then engaged in a somewhat awkward dance with many other couples surrounding you.
"Y/N," Oscar spoke at one point, forcing you to snap out of your dazed thoughts.
You hummed in reply.
"I was wondering something."
"What?"
"D'you think perhaps... you might wanna go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?"
Your breath hitched, and Oscar sensed the apprehension in your movements. "I'm really sorry, Oscar," you spoke eventually, "I don't like you like that. I truly am sorry if accepting you as my date here led you on, I didn't mean to."
He nodded, his hands dropping from holding you. "I understand - I just- I need a drink."
You let him go, understanding that he would need some time away from you to regain his composure. Newly stood alone, you looked around to see Ron sat a table by himself, looking rather defeated.
Now was your chance.
"Hey, Ron," you said gently, "What you doin' sat here all alone?"
He gestured towards Padma Patil, who clearly had lost interest in him completely - not that he didn't deserve it, he had ignored her entirely in the first place. Despite being busy with Oscar, you had noticed that.
"No use sittin' there alone," you chastised, and held out your hand, "Come dance with me."
"What about your date?"
You glanced in the direction Oscar had disappeared in, "I think he's gonna need some time away from me."
"You sure?"
Your confident nod swayed him, and he accepted your outstretched hand.
"You're really bad at dancing," you laughed when you reached the floor.
"Shut up."
"C'mon, it's not that hard, put this hand here," you moved his hand to your back, "And put this hand here," you placed his other hand in yours, and then rested your free hand on his shoulder, "Now move your feet like this."
Once he had gotten the hang of the simple dance, he said, "You're a better teacher than McGonagall."
You shrugged, "You just don't like her."
"Not entirely true."
You felt tense in the awkward silence that proceeded: you were seldom in an awkward silence with one of your very best friends, and Ron could sense that something was up because of that.
"You alright?" he asked.
Sighing, you chewed on your lip and rehearsed your lines internally once more, "Ron, I... I..."
"C'mon, spit it out," he said teasingly.
"I don't want you like a best friend."
Ron's expression blanked, causing a mix of guilt and anxiety to swirl inside of you as you tried to decipher how he was feeling.
"You don't... don't want to be friends?" he said questioningly, and it was then you realised that you would have to spell it out for the boy. He didn't possess a lot of common sense, so he could very well be taking your words as you saying that you didn't like him.
"I like you, Ron," you sighed, hyper-aware of your shallow breath, "Romantically."
"You- you...?" the boy trailed off, halting the movements of the dance altogether. His hands dropped to his sides, as yours began fidgeting with each other.
"I'm sorry, I really I am. I don't want to ruin our friendship, and I definitely don't want to tear the group apart. I just- I couldn't keep it a secret anymore."
He continued to stare at you, his expression that of a goldfish's.
"I figured I needed to be honest so I could start moving on."
When you realised that Ron wasn't going to say anything, you began to slowly turn on your heel, and when he made no motion to stop you, you started to walk away.
After getting yourself a drink from the buffet table, you turned around to see that Ron had disappeared from the dance floor and the hall: all you could feel was guilt. You couldn't help but feel as if you had ruined everything, and put too much pressure on the youngest Weasley brother.
Oscar rejoined you not too long after, apologising for taking your rejection how he did - it was then you wished dearly that you could like him like that, as he was evidently a kind-hearted boy, and also someone outside of your friend group. That was preferable, of course, as then the group wouldn't be torn apart in the case of a break-up.
You didn't see Ron again during the Yule Ball, and the guilt tore you apart as you lay in bed that night. Sleep wasn't kind to you, and the most rest you got was drifting in and out of consciousness for a couple of hours. Still, when you rose in the morning, you were awake enough to know that you had to set things right for the sake of your friendship.
Ron wasn't at breakfast in the Great Hall, and it appeared as if Harry and Hermione were completely unaware that anything that had happened between the two of you. Harry said that Ron was still in bed when he woke up, and he had decided to leave him to it.
You wondered if he wasn't asleep at all, and simply trying to put off talking to you.
***
After breakfast concluded, you decided that if Ron were to try and seek you out, you should remain in one place. So, you told Harry and Hermione to tell people you were in the library in case anyone asked, using a half-joking tone so as not to arise suspicion.
Then, you settled in one of the plush red armchairs surrounded by the bookcases, and attempted to begin reading a book. Really, it was futile: your eyes were seeing the words, but your brain was not processing them. All you could think about was that you had ruined something great with not just Ron but Harry and Hermione as well.
"Y/N," an alarmingly familiar voice broke you from your trance.
You instantly moved your gaze to the owner of it: Ron.
"Can we talk?" he asked gently.
Instantly, you nodded, gesturing for him to sit in the armchair opposite. He obliged, and you internally cringed at the hesitant pause that ensued.
"I'm sorry-" you then both hurriedly said, stopping when you realised the other person was speaking at the same time.
When he went on to say nothing more, you took the spotlight. "Ron, I am so sorry, I don't want to ruin our friendship, I hope we can forget I ever said anything."
He sighed, fiddling with the sleeve of his secondhand jumper, "I don't want to," he said eventually.
Your eyes widened slightly, and you finally closed the book that had been laying open on your lap since his arrival. Slowly and carefully, you asked, "Why?"
"I like you too," he said, "Romantically. I'm sorry for running off last night and leaving you like that."
"You- you-"
"Like like you, yes."
Your shocked expression must have been quite the spectacle for any onlooker: probably akin to a goldfish, much like Ron the night prior.
"So, uh, where do we go from here?" Ron asked, clearly nervous.
"Um," you forced yourself to regain your composure, "We could start with Hogsmeade this weekend... just the two of us."
He nodded, "What would we say to Harry and Hermione?"
"The truth," you said firmly, "They have the right to know."
Ron observed your face analytically, before sighing again and saying, "Prepare for a lecture, then."
"Yeah," you couldn't help but smile at him then, finally processing that you were about to go on a date with your best friend and long-time crush.
He smiled back at you.