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Kate knows what that sound means.
She’s shocked to hear it so loud as she passes by Dana’s room. The buzz is unmistakable. Her cheeks flush as she registers it, and she looks up and down the hallway to make sure no one else is hearing it. She knows she’d be mortified if anyone heard her doing…that in the middle of a Sunday afternoon. Does Dana just not know how loud it is?
Kate ought to give her a friendly warning, at least. She’s just coming back from church, after all — it’d reflect poorly on her to do that and not try to be the good Samaritan. She approaches Dana’s door and knocks on it carefully. “Dana?” she whispers.
“Huh?” comes from the other side.
“You’re being a little loud,” Kate replies, though the buzzing doesn’t stop, which is filling her head with thoughts of Dana on her bed, legs open, like the videos that she’s found when—
“What? Who’s out there?” Dana calls.
Kate shakes her head and clears her throat, trying to wipe that image from her head. “It’s Kate,” she says, a little louder. “You’re being—”
“Oh my God, I can’t hear you at all. Come in.”
Kate stiffens. Dana can’t really be asking what Kate thinks she is, right? “I’m not sure—”
“Kate, come in,” Dana groans.
Kate gulps, that image of Dana coming back, and all the buried desires that she indulges in the middle of the night like a reasonable person tunnel right up to the surface instead. Is Dana really…offering? Is Kate ready for that? A part of her wants to just yank the door open right now and see, see what life outside the family home can really turn into, if she starts to take some risks once in a while. Another part wants to run straight down the hallway and hide in her room, possibly forever.
The buzz stops. “Dude, get in here already,” Dana says, and with a shaking hand, Kate turns the doorknob.
Oh.
It’s not entirely calming to see that while Dana is on her bed with her legs stretched out, she has clothes on, even if it’s not much. A sports bra and tight athletic shorts, sweat still visible on her collarbone. After a moment’s pause, Kate sees the source of the buzzing noise, an all-too-familiar wand that isn’t positioned where Kate would expect. Instead, it’s resting on Dana’s upturned calf. Kate snaps her eyes up to Dana’s face, sure she’s burning up right now.
Dana raises her eyebrows. “What were you trying to say?”
“Oh, um, sorry, I, um, had the wrong idea,” Kate stammers, taking a step back even as the door closes behind her.
“About…what?”
“I just thought you might want to know that you were being kind of loud, I guess,” Kate mumbles.
“Oh, this?” Dana holds up the wand. “I use it for my calves after a run. No big deal if people hear.”
“T-that makes sense.” Oh, God, Kate, you’re a pervert. You created this entire elaborate fantasy based on nothing because you’ve been using your privacy and your new laptop for filth and—
“What did you think I was doing?” Dana asks.
“Oh — I wasn’t sure, I just…thought you might like to know. The walls are kind of thin around here,” Kate stammers out.
Dana purses her lips for a moment, and then a corner of them perks up, giving her a smirk that sets Kate’s heart racing, throwing her back to the scenario she’d imagined just a second ago. “You seem really tense,” Dana begins, shifting her position so her legs hang over the side of the bed. “And you’re slouching a lot. Back problems?”
“I, um, no?” Kate blinks. “I might’ve tweaked something bringing Alice’s food in yesterday, but…”
“You wanna give this baby a whirl?” Dana asks, waggling the wand back and forth in the air. Kate feels a shiver run down her spine, and reminds herself, not like that. What would her mother say if she could tell Kate was thinking about things like that? “Seriously, I swear, it helps a lot. With tension,” Dana adds, that smirk growing just a little bit more, and Kate’s not sure whether to read into it or not.
What excuse does she have to leave? She already admitted she strained her back. She walked right into this, and getting out sounds so much harder, and much less satisfying, than giving in. There has to be something, but…Kate isn’t coming up with it, and Dana pats the space next to her on the bed.
“I…suppose I could try,” Kate says. With her back against the door, she has to admit, “It does ache a little, around my shoulders.”
“Come on over. No shoes on the bed, though,” Dana warns, getting up and stretching as Kate shrugs out of her cardigan and obediently takes off her shoes. She lies face-down on Dana’s bed, and as Dana kneels beside her, the image burns itself into Kate’s brain. How many videos has she watched that start out just like this? One woman with another, a massage turning to something more…Kate always imagined herself in the other role. But as Dana presses the wand to one shoulder and braces herself on the other with one hand, Kate decides that she’s been an idiot, because this already feels good. Lord forgive her.
“Ready?” Dana asks, and Kate nods silently — and then yelps as the wand starts to life, fingers instantly clenching into fists at her sides. “Woah, woah,” Dana coos, kneading with her free hand, pleasing contractions through Kate’s blouse. “We’re supposed to be un…tensing. Relax, honey.”
Kate swallows heavily, then breathes out a long sigh, trying to loosen her muscles. It does feel good, the vibrations going well with Dana’s strong press into her back. She can feel the knots come undone as Dana works, her right shoulder feeling better already. “One sec,” Dana murmurs, taking the wand away for a moment as she gets to her feet. “I’m gonna get on top of you, that cool?”
God, yes, is what Kate thinks, but all she does is nod again. Dana carefully positions herself over Kate, knees on either side of Kate’s hips. Kate’s sweating, and even as the tension is worked out of her back, it’s building further down. She keeps thinking about what she thought was happening. How she walked in regardless. How Dana’s straddling her right now, how Kate can’t help but think about Dana, and all the other girls of the dorm, when she’s alone in her room and all the curiosities she was never able to sate at home are at her fingertips.
“There we go,” Dana sighs, pressing just a little further into Kate’s back. “Good girl.”
Lord above.
“Anywhere else bothering you?” Dana asks, the vibrations moving further down Kate’s back, searching for trouble spots. Kate shrugs. She doesn’t want to say “no.” Then this will stop. She wants to keep it going as long as she can.
Dana switches off the wand and scoots down the bed, and Kate tenses again as a hand wraps around her ankle. “Legs feel all right?”
“Mm,” Kate hums. They do now. Dana’s fingers are such an interesting texture. Little callouses. Weightlifting, maybe? She can hoist the other cheerleaders up like they weigh nothing.
“Here?” Dana’s hand moves up, squeezing the back of Kate’s knee. Kate draws in a sharp breath, flexing her fingers, not sure what else to do with all this nervous energy. She doesn’t realize she didn’t offer any kind of answer until Dana’s hand moves up again. Further. Far enough that Dana has to re-angle her wrist so that she can reach just under Kate’s skirt, squeezing a handful of her inner thigh. Kate gasps, a flood of heat rushing between her legs.
Maybe she’s not just a pervert imagining things.
Maybe Dana wants to do this.
“There?” Dana asks, withdrawing her hand.
Kate makes an involuntary noise in the back of her throat.
“Flip over,” Dana instructs, climbing off of Kate so she can do just that. Kate manages to get her arms under herself even though she’s shaking, and as she turns over, Dana takes the pillow from under her head and sits it against the headboard. “Sit back against this,” Dana says. It feels so natural to obey. Dana gets back on the bed, in front of Kate, and this is the first time Kate’s looked directly at Dana’s face since she came in. There’s a fresh sheen of sweat on her cheeks, flushed dark.
Dana takes in a deep breath. “Spread your legs.”
That sends a pulse through Kate. She starts to obey, only to find she can’t quite get them far enough apart for Dana to sit. “I…I guess I should take this off,” Kate says, closing her eyes as she reaches for the zipper.
“Yeah,” is all Dana says, her voice nearly breathless. Once the zip’s undone, Kate opens her eyes again, looking down as she slides her skirt off — and she burns with warmth, seeing the state of herself. Her panties are soaked so thoroughly they look sheer, Dana can see everything, and the worst part is that Kate wants her to. She tries to focus on getting rid of her skirt only to stop when Dana takes hold of the waistband, and Kate’s eyes are drawn inevitably to Dana’s. Her eyes look dark, and she asks, “Okay?”
Kate nods and lets go, letting Dana ply her body. Dana lifts her legs up so she can get the skirt all the way off, tossing it unceremoniously to the floor before taking Kate’s ankles in her hands and spreading her apart. She leans over and takes the wand back up, then moves forward, practically into Kate’s lap. Dana’s massage is less careful this time, less searching. She just runs the wand up and down Kate’s thighs, getting close but not quite there each time. Kate keeps her eyes closed, biting down hard on her lower lip, trying not to make noises.
As the wand approaches her center again, Kate bucks her hips forward, almost unconsciously. Dana sucks in a sharp breath, and then the buzzing stops. Kate opens her eyes to see Dana coming in closer, her free hand going to Kate’s shoulder as she leans forward. Kate quickly closes her eyes again, afraid of what she might see, or reveal, or say, especially when Dana’s lips graze her ear.
“Kate,” she whispers, her voice husky. “Do you want it…here?”
She touches the still wand to Kate’s clit, and she whimpers, teeth clenched. Dana adds a little more pressure, moves the wand up and down once, and Kate squirms. “Kate,” Dana says again, her breath hot on Kate’s skin. “You need to say yes.”
Kate barely even recognizes her own voice as she pleads, “Yes, please, there,” a full octave higher and edged with desperation. There’s no other way out and Kate doesn’t even want out. She knows, intellectually, what she’s chasing. And Dana is promising she’ll get there.
The wand coming on brings a squeal out of Kate, and she uses the arm that Dana’s not hovering over to clamp a hand over her mouth. “Fuck,” Dana groans, gripping Kate’s shoulder tight with her free hand, her body rocking back and forth over Kate. Her circles are slow, letting the wand do most of the work to build Kate up. She juts her hips forward, working with Dana to press the wand harder into her, Dana’s motions controlled and strong, and it’s so much, so fast, that Kate—
She’s glad she’s covering her mouth because she can’t help making the next sound as her whole body lights up, sobbing in pleasure as she writhes. Dana keeps the massager pressed against her until she stops moving, and it’s actually a relief when she flicks it off, only to stroke lightly through Kate’s underwear to prolong the sensation. Finally, Kate takes in a deep breath and lets it go, trying to catch it. Dana sets the wand down, then gently nudges Kate toward the wall, lying on her side next to Kate with one hand on her shoulder, smoothing back and forth.
“Holy shit, Kate,” Dana murmurs once Kate stills. Kate’s mind buzzes, pleasantly empty. Until it starts filling up again, the same things that fill her as she tries to sleep after a long night, tainted, dirty, whore. Her lip starts to quiver, and then Dana’s hand moves, cupping Kate’s chin. Kate’s eyes finally open, and Dana is so beautiful that it stops the thoughts for just a moment. “You okay?” Dana asks, and Kate brings both hands up to cover her face.
“I don’t know,” she squeaks out, the sickening cold of shame sweeping through her body. “I…I…”
“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Dana says, her voice so soft. “That was…really intense,” she adds, one hand wrapping around Kate’s right palm and tugging it away so their eyes can meet again. “But we’re okay.”
“We are?” Kate asks, though just hearing that from Dana makes her heartbeat slow.
“Yeah. Really. It’s still just us. Look at me?”
Kate takes her other hand down and looks at Dana, her lips turned down, her brow furrowed in concern, but her skin still so flush. “See?” Dana asks.
“See what?”
“Look.” Dana sits up and sweeps her hand around the room. “Nothing changed. No fire and brimstone. Okay?”
Kate breathes out and turns her head back to the ceiling, nodding fervently. “Okay.”
The room falls silent, for a time. “That was really hot,” Dana says out of the blue.
Kate giggles involuntarily, glancing over at Dana, who’s smiling now. “It was?”
“Hell yes, it was. You really walked in here, thinking with your whole brain I was masturbating?”
“Yeah,” Kate admits weakly.
“That is so…damn, Kate. Bold.”
“I don’t know. I feel crazy,” Kate mumbles.
“Why?”
“I don’t know,” Kate repeats. “I just…I’ve been…for a couple of years now…”
“Thinking about girls?”
Kate nods again. “I just…I never had my own room. Until I moved in here.”
“Oh, you poor thing,” Dana says, leaning in close and kissing Kate’s cheek, and it’s like that alone is making her chest unspool. “You, uh…you ever…”
“No,” Kate admits. “I never even…you know…with myself.”
“Oh my God,” Dana gasps. “So that was your first orgasm?”
“I guess?” Kate’s voice comes out sounding ridiculous, and she hides her face again.
“Well…it was my first time giving a girl one,” Dana offers, stroking a hand up and down Kate’s wrist.
“Really?”
“Yeah. I’ve, uh, known for a while. You girls-only?”
“I…I think I might be.” The first few searches made that pretty clear. God.
“No wonder you were so tense.”
“It’s — it’s a sin.”
“Is not,” Dana says simply.
“But everyone—”
“Not everyone,” Dana interrupts. “Plenty of people believe and don’t think God’s such a jerk that he won’t let you feel good.”
“...like you?”
“Yeah, like me. You should come to my church sometime.”
Kate lowers her hands again, and this time, she lets herself look at Dana. Her stomach feels sick, roiling. “Come on,” Dana urges, pressing her chest against Kate’s side. “Breathe with me, okay?”
“What?”
“Just breathe with me. Like this.” Dana starts a rhythm, in, pause, out. In, pause, out. As Kate joins in, that sensation in her gut fades away, and her limbs start to feel heavy, her body stilling. “There you go,” Dana says, patting Kate’s shoulder. “You should stay here for a while.”
“I want to,” Kate admits. She could run. Pretend this didn’t happen. But Dana’s making so much sense. She seems smart. Worldly. Kate finds herself thinking that she’s fine with a person like Dana being the first to touch her like this.
“Okay, then. Do that.”
Kate closes her eyes. She can feel sleep pulling at her mind. Dana was right, she was so tense, thinking about things like this all day and night. Now that it’s happened, and nothing seems to be over and no one’s coming to punish her, she feels like she can finally let her guard down. Dana makes her feel safe.
“Hey, Kate?” Dana asks.
“Hm?”
“Can I kiss you?”
Kate kisses her before Dana gets the chance. As their lips meet, soft and slow and comforting, Kate knows it can’t be a sin. Something guided them here, put everything in place for this to happen.
Her faith that God is looking out for her is the strongest it’s ever been.