Work Text:
“Airplane-bro you have snakes in your hair! WTF!” Shen Qingqiu shrieked while standing at the door of his bamboo home.
A few disciplines stopped to stare and then resumed walking. They were used to weird things happening in this sect.
Shang Qinghua shrugged nonchalantly while absentmindedly petting a snake. “It wasn't intentional Cucumber-bro I just decided to go treasure hunting and poof voila!”
“Treasure hunting for what?”
“A gift for my king, but I didn't realize this fabulous OP bangle was cursed and would cause snake hair.”
The little snakes hissed as they weaved together on Shang Qinghua's head. A few gently nuzzled his cheeks.
“Didn't you think that an OP item would be booby-trapped?”
“Well ya, I thought it would be that way so I did disable or dodge most of them. I forgot that the bangle would be too.”
“What is this bangle called?” Shen Qingqiu sighed before motioning his fellow peak lord onto a bench.
Shang Qinghua grinned as he sat down beside him. “Scales of poison immunity. Boring name, but wear this and poof you are immune to most known poisons. Nifty right?”
“Nifty?” Shen Qingqiu smacked his friend on the shoulder. “Wait I have never heard of this one. Did it not make it into Proud Immortal Demon Way?”
“It was in my drafts. Apparently, System-bro thought it was a good idea to pull from them.” Shang Qinghua muttered. “I need to tell it to quit it as who knows what other annoying things I wrote down on my all-night caffeine binges.”
Shen Qingqiu glared but let that drop. Better not to know. “But why are they silver and gold?”
“Beats me, but cool that they match this sweet bangle right?”
“Why aren’t you freaking out about all this?” Shen Qingqiu gestured vigorously at the snakes
A few hissed in displeasure.
“This could be worse like some weird sex-induced bangle. Or how about that weird sunflower pollen that is so fast acting that it knocks you straight into sex with no choice but to bang for days. Oooooh or how about that song of sirens seashell you blow through said to woo anyone you desire and even those you’d rather flee in terror from?”
“Airplane!”
“What?”
“Get to the point and your taste in senseless plot devices needs some work.”
“Fine, fine anti-fan. For now, I will just deal with it or go see Mu Qingfang.”
“Don’t let Yuan Qinglu see you or else you will never hear the end of it.”
Shang Qinghua shrugged in displeasure. “Too late bro. He saw me and fell over laughing.”
~
“Get out.”
“Shixiong! I didn’t do it on purpose!”
Mu Qingfang’s dark look could destroy. “You say that every time you come here and every time I see you it's the same thing.”
“Well sure but this time I thought I had deactivated the traps.
“Traps?”
“Yes, I forgot about a trap on this!” Shang Qinghua whipped out the jewelry. “This rare bangle is for my king. I needed to find a good gift for him and I remembered this obscure OP item while plotting out a story.”
“Uh huh and how did this,” Mu Qingfang vigorously waved at his sect brother’s hair, “happen?”
“I was making sure to be extra careful while in the Temple of Snowfire Snakes, but well I grabbed the bangle while tripping.”
Mu Qingfang’s frown smoothed out. “I take it these snakes blow fire?”
“Yes.” Shang Qinghua said nervously. He gently tapped a snake and it puffed out smoke. “First it burns you and then you are flash frozen.”
Mu Qingfan’s mustache twitched. “And now you have Snowfire Snakes for hair?”
“Well yes, it is a curse that the temple likes to throw at intruders for stealing from it.”
“I see. Shang Qinghua come here.”
“Why?”
“So I can murder you.”
“Wait Shixiong! Gah no not those herbs!”
~
Mobei-Jun gave him a puzzled frown. Many in the court gawked at him. Even the guard who he always smiled at dropped his sword. Shang Qinghua waved at his king sheepishly.
“This lowly one apologizes my king, but my quest ended up well….” Shang Qinghua gestured to his hair. “in a disaster.”
“A disaster?” Mobei-Jun regarded him thoughtfully. “Is it permanent?”
“No my king, it may last a few months at most.” Shang Qinghua gently patted a snake. “But it will keep anyone from approaching me too closely about non-sense budget ideas.”
“Mn.” Mobei-Jun arose from his throne and strolled down the steps. Without hesitation, he patted Shang Qinghua on the head. A few snakes hissed at him in curiosity. “Did you obtain the item you were looking for?”
“Yes!” Shang Qinghua pulled out the bangle and held it out to his king.
Mobei-Jun gently took it from him.
“It is the scales of poison immunity, said to block most poisons. I wanted to give it to you as a gift.”
With a snap, the bangle was enclosed on Shang Qinghua’s wrist.
“Eh? But my king this gift was for you!”
“Mn.” Mobei-Jun gently cupped Shang Qinghua’s cheek and kissed him on the forehead. “It is a good gift and they will protect Qinghua from danger.”
Shang Qinghua blinked up at him in bafflement. “Wait they?”
“Yes, the snakes. They enhance Qinghua’s handsomeness.”
“Wah, my king!”
“Qinghua, you did say to use words more often,” Mobei-Jun said smugly.
Shang Qinghua stomped his foot. “Not like this and not in front of the whole court!”