Work Text:
Present
“Гавно,” Natasha groans. The light streaming in through a crack in the curtains definitely doesn´t help her hangover. “Гавно,” she repeats, “Why did I drink so much?” She keeps her eyes closed and blindly taps onto the mattress in hope of finding her phone.
“Ow, stop it,” she hears someone complain. What the actual fuck? She quickly opens her eyes and has to blink a few times before she can make out tussled brown hair and sharp cheekbones and… striking blue eyes. “Maria?”
“The one and only,” comes the slightly annoyed answer. Maria pushes herself upright, takes one look at her face and starts laughing.
“What?”
“You,” she gasps, then holds her head in pain, “You forgot to take off your makeup last night. And laughing is a bad idea. Don´t do it, really hurts.”
“Serves you right. How bad is it? The makeup, I mean. The headache I can literally feel”
“It´s mostly mascara. And lipstick. Lots of lipstick,” she reaches out to wipe it from Natasha´s face, “I think it looks worse than it is, lemme just…” But she doesn´t listen anymore. There, on Maria´s hand, is a sparkling golden ring. Instantly, she reaches for the other woman´s hand to have a better look at it.
“What is this?” she asks as nonchalantly as possible, trying to ignore the irrational spike of jealousy.
“That is,” Maria´s brows furrow in confusion, “an excellent question.”
“Well, it looks like a wedding band. Look, there´s one of those sappy sayings engraved in it.”
“Forever and ever,” she reads, “You´re right, that´s kinda sappy”
“Yeah, right?” Nat yawns and reaches up to rub at her eyes, “Not exactly your style”
“Nat?”
“Yeah?”
“You´ve got one, too. The same one.”
She hurriedly lifts her hand and there it is. A sparkling golden ring.
“Holy shit you´re right!”
“Well, this is weird. Do you, by any chance, remember how we got them? My head´s still kinda fuzzy.”
“I don´t, sorry. Let´s just state facts we know, so that maybe we´ll remember the rest?”
“Okay,” Maria begins, always eager to make any kinds of lists, “Here are the things we know: We woke up in a bed together in what looks like a hotel room, we´re wearing matching rings and-”
“Oh shit!”
“What is it?”
“We woke up in a bed together wearing matching rings with some cheesy shit on them”
“Fuck.”
………
6 hours ago
Darcy and Scott both cheer loudly as both Natasha and Maria throw back another shot.
“Remember,” Darcy asks, already slurring slightly, “how I punched that one guy? Rodrigo-something-or-other? That was sooooo cool” She suppresses a hiccup.
“Yeah!” Scott agrees, “I wish I´d done that!”
“Nattie?” Maria fake-whispers next to them, “Why is the room spinning?” For her level of drunkenness, her pronunciation sounds surprisingly sober. Natasha giggles, honest to god giggles, and leans on Maria, “I don´t know! But isn´t it funny?”
………
7 hours ago
“We have a reservation under Hall-Roman,” Natasha says, adding a charming smile to distract the receptionist from their disheveled appearance.
He looks at his computer, then nods and slides the keycards over the counter.
“Thank you,” Maria says and takes them. Darcy and Scott mumble something that slightly resembles a “thanks” and start dragging their bags over to the elevator.
“Dibs on the bigger room!” Darcy calls out.
“You can´t just dib things,” Maria rolls her eyes. Looks like they’re not as tired as they seemed.
Scott looks positively offended at her comment. “You gotta respect the dibs!”
………
10 hours ago
“Run!” Scott screams.
They hurry to get away just as the building at the end of the street bursts into hot white flames. The noise is deafening, and they get thrown to the ground by the force of the explosion.
………
18 hours ago
“Careful with the trees! CAREFUL WITH THE TREES!” Scott screeches hysterically.
Darcy just grins like a maniac, “Relax, I know what I´m doing!”
“Do you now!?”
“No, she doesn’t,” Maria interrupts their conversation, “But since I´m the one flying, that shouldn´t be a problem now, should it?”
“You´re no fun at all. Next time, I want a different Agent”
“I don´t think-”
“Mind the bird!”
“Would you two just shut up for one second, dammit, I´m trying to concentrate here!” Natasha screams from where she´s dangling outside the helicopter.
All that´s under them is the dark green of the jungle, unfriendly and dangerous against the cheery orange of the sunset.
“I´m sure she meant you two,” Darcy says, pointing an accusing finger at Scott and Maria.
“Well, I´m sure she-”
“SHUT UP!” Natasha and Maria both yell at the same time.
………
24 hours ago
They´re running down a dark alleyway. The only light is coming from a streetlight at the other end, just enough to illuminate the outlandish forms of the graffiti on the naked brick walls, and there´s more trash on the floor than in the overflowing trashcans.
There´s people chasing them, already near enough to hear them cursing under their breath in angry Spanish.
“I kinda wish I´d taken French instead of Spanish! At least then I wouldn´t know about all the ways they´re planning to kill us right now!”
“I wish I had my suit!” Scott wheezes.
“We don´t have enough time for fighting them, anyways!” Maria calls over her shoulder since, naturally, with her incredibly long legs she´s way faster than them. And her stamina is probably better, too. Suddenly, a sleek black car appears at the end of the alleyway. “Missed me?” Nat asks through the open window and pulls out her gun to shoot at their persecutors.
(Yes, Maria thinks.)
………
30 hours ago
The hotel room´s ac lets out a soft humming noise as it works hard to keep the blazing heat outside. The room itself looks bright and pristine with its white leather couches and spotless floor. Natasha almost feels bad for what they´re about to do.
Maria pulls out plastic gloves from her purse and passes them to Darcy and Scott, “Okay, put those on so you won´t leave fingerprints”
“They look like those they have in crime shows,” Scott grins excitedly as he puts them on.
Darcy pulls on one then lets it go, creating a weird slapping sound, “Uuuuuuh, murder mittens! Fancy!”
Natasha facepalms. (She just wishes for this to be over soon, then maybe she and Maria can have a movie night or do something else fun.)
………
36 hours ago
“Oh, and take those,” Coulson hands them each a golden wedding band, “But maybe try to bring them back in one piece, would be practical if we could use them on the next few missions as well. Good luck, Agents.”
………
Present
“Oh, thank god!”
“We´re not married,” they look at each other, both spotting a giant grin.
“We´re not married!” Natasha exclaims and spontaneously throws her arms around Maria in celebration and presses a kiss to her lips.
“Urm, I-” Maria rubs her neck awkwardly, “we should maybe look for Darcy and Scott”
Natasha clears her throat, “Yeah, I guess you´re right. Shouldn´t let them run around unsupervised for too long”
………
3 hours ago
“Scott?” Darcy mumbles, her voice still laced with sleep.
He groans as he lifts his head from the counter of the hotel bar and blinks repeatedly, “Darcy? S´that you?”
“Yip”
Silence.
There´s a dim light shining so when they look around, they discover that, apart from them, the bar is completely empty.
Then Scott´s face lights up as he remembers something. “You know, I meant to ask you yesterday, why didn´t you take French?”
“Huh? Oh, well, the grammar´s supposed to be a real bitch – kinda like this hangover. Plus, I had a huge crush on …”
“Ah,” he nods in understanding only to wince as pain shoots through his head. The urge to just lay his head on the counter again becomes harder to resist every second.
Just as he´s come to the conclusion that he could use a few more hours, if not days, of sleep and that here would be as good as anywhere else, Darcy speaks up again. “Do you think Hill and Romanov are okay?”
“I guess so,” he pauses, trying to remember, “We put them to bed after they got shitfaced, right?”
“Yeah, but in the same bed. I´m sure it´ll be alright though. I mean they´re friends, aren´t they?”
“Yeah, it´s not like they´ll think they drunkenly married last night or something,” Scott jokes.
“Hm,” Darcy makes a sound of agreement and they both go back to sleep.