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These are the moments he is most content. When he is laying in the soft and fresh sheets of their bed, her scent is everywhere and her warmth is so close, soothing and healing at the same time. A reassurance that everything is just right.
Until it no longer is, when he takes notice of the lone white flower adorning her back, standing expectantly in front of the portrait of his former family.
And yet, when the people around him are now in the past, she is his present. A gift as well. His attention is back to her, when he notices she is stirring awake.
It is when she speaks, when her voice resounds so charmingly close to his eardrums that he is brought back into her spell.
“Good morning, Sasuke-kun” she greets, as lovingly as her eyes which blink up to appreciate back at his slumbery features. “Happy birthday” she chants, as if she hadn’t been the one to say those exact words when the fell asleep a few hours ago.
But he is so consumed by her presence, so enchanted with her existence that he can’t help but reach his arm to touch her and feel her once more. Because it is never close enough.
“You’re really something else” his voice is hoarse, seeing as these are the firsts words that come out of his mouth on this quiet morning.
“Hm? Where is this coming from?” she purrs, enjoying the touch of his calloused hand cupping her soft frame.
She is so tangible, every fiber of her body so vibrant and alive. Unlike the ghosts of his dreams.
“I—”
—just wish I leave this world first...
…so I don’t have to live without you.
This is the moment Sakura rises her upper body with her side on one arm, her face now switched to study her partner’s features.
“Sasuke-kun, what’s wrong? Your pulse is…” a mess, he knows. He is a wreck; he also knows this.
It’s a mess he only noticed becoming more and more unbearable ever since—
Ever since he fell in love, because it had been harder.
He somehow thought this was something bound to happen, letting someone in the way he was right now with Sakura. How she had managed to break through and sprint past every single barrier he built and rose to avoid this chaotic turmoil.
He loved her so much, and she is the only one she has left, so what would be of him the day she leaves him too?
Just like those pictures behind his back, laying on their nightstand, memories of the few people he opened his heart to, his family, now buried. Far from his embrace.
But what of her?
“Talk to me, Sasuke-kun”
His expression turned from painful to annoyed and bluntly he shifted to lay his back completely on the bed and raise his arm over his face.
“Shit”.
The curse escaped him like a hiss, an unusual vocabulary when it was just the two of them. Sakura just laid there, blinking in surprise but managing to still count the beats of his heart and notice how his next deep breath helped him slow down a bit.
“Is it something you can’t say?”
“I wish I needn’t to”
She chose not to push, and instead she crawled closer to him, circling his waist with her slender arm, and her hand rising to play with his long locks messily under his arm, still clouding his sight.
Her cheek was pressed against his heart, worried it might spike at any moment again, so she waited.
“I don’t think I will ever be able to lose you”
“You won’t” just as she was about to reassure him once more, that she indeed will continue to love him for the rest of her days, he interrupted her.
“I meant if you were to die first” his tone was exasperated. He knew this was childish in a way, knowing the lifestyles they carried, it was a given that their existence was ephemeral. That at any moment all they had built could crumble, even if they had each other’s presence right at this moment, the next one they could be facing an adversity that would make their future together falter.
“Hm” she stopped the words to continue passing past her lips, choosing to take notice of the frail side of his emotions he had chosen to let her know.
“Yea” he was still displeased, not liking one inch that he had to make this known but he somehow knew these were the conversations that needed be had in order for his heartbeat to stop being too loud and his ghosts so haunting.
It had helped once, when he acknowledged his feelings for her. He had poured it all out and suddenly the ache in his chest had been lifted and the strain in his throat had been removed. Surely, this time talking it out with her —his ever-efficient healer, would make this pain a bit less hurtful.
“This is why these moments are so precious, because I know I loved and have been loved so truly and deeply” at the sound of her words, he slowly removed his arm that had been intentionally obstructing his view. Suddenly he felt the need to see her expression, since her words sounded as strained as his.
And she was. Her emerald orbs were glassy, glinting that distinctive mask of dew waiting to trail down her cheekbones.
“Would it really be that bad, Sasuke-kun? I know I won’t ever be as happy as I am right now, with you in this moment, But…” she gulped, her voice trying its best to keep steady.
She must have had a lot of conversations like these, talking to another person about farewells, loss and griefs, she was a medic after all. And yet, when it came to him, whenever everything was related to him, her emotions also took over.
“…but it is thanks to you that I can make these moments the very reason I live everyday knowing I was here, with you”.
He chose not to speak, but instead he reached his arm around her and brought her back to him.
He briefly chastised himself for ever forgetting, that the person who had hurt the most of his absence was her. Always waiting for him, all those years longing for his love and being able to have him reciprocate at least a piece of her grand expressions of love.
It was on that morning, as he had her between his reach and kissed her crown that he made an oath to himself, to never let anything hurt her. Not even himself.
The ghosts inside his brain could go to hell, but the woman in his arms had fought back enough to be brought down by his own. She was already thriving, a flower in full bloom making every moment the best he had ever had.
She surely was, the reason he had been able to fall so hardly in love with her.
Yes, his past was still lurking, his future was ephemeral but his present…
His present was so much brighter thanks to her.
The tender gesture of his hand removing the bead off of her already rosy cheek had her blinking back at his expression. Her eyes widened once more, noticing that rare expression adorning his often-stern complexion. He had only looked at her like this once, in the past, when he had said those two words both covered in blood and dirt.
“Thank you” I’m sorry.
When he had realized he loved her.
“I love you too” she stretched a bit more and chose that moment to close the gap between their mouths. A kiss sealing their confession.