Archive of Our Own

Charlie wasn’t nervous. No, that would be absurd and ridiculous. What twenty-year-old was scared of planes? Not Charlie Spring, that was certain. He was just… cautious! As a result of his anxiety disorder! Yeah. That was it. No other reason. Certainly not because every time he entered an airport the images of plane crashes that Tori had shown him when he was seven haunted him. She had an odd phase where she was obsessed with aeronautic failures.

Okay. He was terrified.

However, in Charlie’s defense, he believed his fear to be entirely justified. Who shows that to a child still in their formative years? Granted, Tori was only a year older than him, making her a child at the time, but that was beside the point. The point was that she should’ve known better. Maybe she wouldn’t have gotten grounded for giving her younger brother nightmares for a month. He still doesn’t know if she’s forgiven him for that. Oh well.

He really thought he would outgrow this. But maturity and medication be damned, Charlie still found himself squeezing his eyes shut and gripping the armrests so hard his knuckles turned white every time the nose of the plane tilted upward and they began their ascent into the sky. The ever-constant ear-splitting humming of the aircraft never did anything to help either. No amount of money spent on noise-cancelling headphones could ever be enough to fully flush out the drilling of the engine into his eardrums. Usually, however, he was almost always completely relaxed after they were steadily in the air. Almost always.

That was not the case today.

To start, his Uber driver missed the exit to the airport on the highway, causing Charlie to panic and draft a goodbye text to his dad, mum, Oliver, and Tori. In actuality, the guy had just taken a detour to avoid traffic since Charlie had mentioned he was running late. He tipped him well. Regardless, Charlie was still late to check-in, and forgot to take a water bottle out of his backpack when going through security, causing him to be pulled to the side, patted down, and have his belongings relentlessly searched for another ten minutes. Not to mention his gate was on the entire other side of the airport and he missed the shuttle, causing him to relive his Truham track glory days. He honestly thought he broke his mile PR. He arrived just as they began doing the last calls for boarding and therefore had to check his carry-on since the overhead cabins were full. He handed over his mobile boarding pass to be scanned, and the employee dropped it when attempting to hand it back, effectively shattering his screen. He brushed it off with a gentle smile and an “it’s fine!” It was absolutely not fine. Charlie had honestly lost the majority of his will to live by the time he reached his seat and, of course, he was confined to the window seat. The seat most people loved, but Charlie had always actively despised, per his flying phobia. But thankfully, the middle seat was empty, granting him a slightly less awkward conversation and scuffle when he needed to use the restroom.

Or, so he thought.

Then, shuffling down the aisle, came the most beautiful sight Charlie had ever seen. Scuffed golden auburn hair, freckles splattered across pale rose skin, broad shoulders, chiseled biceps, and—

Oh.

Charlie’s eyes met the stranger’s, and he suddenly understood why some people believed in love at first sight. His eyes were honey brown, and Charlie thought he could see his entire universe reflected in those irises. He usually wasn’t one for eye contact, but he couldn’t bring himself to tear his gaze away; he probably looked like a deer in headlights, and he would’ve stayed that way forever probably, had it not been for the boy opening his mouth to speak. And holy shit it was a sound Charlie wished he could hear every day. Instead, he would settle for playing it on loop in his head for the rest of eternity.

“Sorry, but um, I think that’s my seat,” the stranger said, gesturing vaguely to where Charlie was currently seated, and with a glance down towards his boarding pass, he verified the other’s hypothesis.

“Oh! You’re right, I apologize,” Charlie said as he gathered his belongings and scooted over a seat.

“No worries! It happens,” the other man said with a small laugh as he maneuvered into his seat. The sound rang in Charlie’s ears like church bells, and he thought he found religion in the coach section of the airplane.

“I have to say, I’m honestly glad it’s not my seat. I kind of abhor the window seat with a passion,” Charlie said with a giggle and a lopsided smile.

“Really?” the boy asked while whipping his head towards Charlie with a blinding smile.

“Yeah!” Charlie replied with matching enthusiasm. “It’s kind of my sister’s fault honestly, she was obsessed with plane crashes when we were kids. Gave me horrid night terrors.”

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, but that’s hilarious.”

“It is! Though I do still hate planes with a passion. I’d much rather take trains but unfortunately, the plane tickets were much cheaper.” He paused, considering how awkward it would be to introduce himself to this incredibly attractive stranger, before deciding fuck it. “I’m Charlie, by the way. Charlie Spring.” Based on the other’s softening expression, Charlie had hit the jackpot.

“Nick,” the boy, Nick, said. “Nelson,” he quickly added, “Nick Nelson.” He actually held out his hand to shake. Charlie took it, noting the rough calluses on his palm, and trying not to think about how their hands slotted perfectly together.

Their conversation was cut short by the mandatory safety presentation as acted out by the flight attendants. Afterward, Charlie had his annual take-off panic attack, with a side of dissociation. By the time he came to, he was exhausted, so he grabbed his sleep mask out of his backpack, slipped it over his eyes, put his music on shuffle, and drifted off.

When Charlie woke up, he was slightly aware of a weight on his left shoulder, and when he removed his mask, he was enlightened by the cause.

Nick was asleep, his head laid on Charlie’s shoulder, and Charlie could only think about how right it felt.

So, like any reasonable young adult, Charlie whipped out his phone to text his friends.

aled: good morning to you too charlie

tao: charlie its not even seven what do you want

tao: so nudge him off?

elle: like how hot. like henry maddox hot or lister bird hot.

tao: HELLO????

elle: or like tao xu hot ig

tao: im breaking up with you

elle: you love me

elle: omg. marry him

isaac: i second this. propose immediately

aled: i third this

tao: i do NOT fourth this. he is a STRANGER

isaac: nooooooooooo u need ur romcom airplane meetcute moment this is so sad

tao: when will you all stop encouraging charlie’s crushes on straight boys im so tired

tao: ok well i still am not on board

isaac: tao why are you homophobic answer quickly

tao: IM NOT. HE COULD BE AN AXE MURDERER

elle: oh yes because our tiny arse town in kent england is brimming with serial killers

alec: idk it is pretty boring here. and i once played a game where a guy started killing people because he moved from the city to a town in the middle of the country and went crazy so you never know.

aled: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Right as Charlie pressed send, he heard a low laugh from his left. He froze and slowly turned his head towards the boy residing on his shoulder, praying to every god imaginable that he did not see his messages, or else Charlie would literally die of embarrassment. Thankfully, he was met with the sight of a sleeping Nick with his eyes tightly shut and subtle snores escaping his mouth. He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and relaxed back into his seat. His friends had stopped responding, probably fallen back asleep due to the ungodly early hour it was, so Charlie decided to follow suit by putting his sleep mask back on. Sleep was about to take over Charlie’s body when he heard a quiet raspy mumble from the boy next to him.

“You’re cute and hot too,” punctuated by snores.

Charlie was wide awake for the rest of the flight.

Nick was jostled awake by some fairly heavy turbulence, courtesy of England’s love for storms, accompanied by an incredibly sharp pain in his right hand. As he went to glance down at his hand, he realized his head was resting on something, or rather someone. His whole body flushed as he lifted his head, turning to look at the boy next to him, Charlie, and began apologizing profusely.

“Oh my god I am so sorry,” he stammered. “I never fall asleep on planes, like, ever, but I guess I was just so tired because it was so early and I am just so, so sorry.” He couldn’t even look the other boy in the eye, afraid his face would become an even darker and more embarrassing shade of red than it already was. Then, as if his mind decided to taunt him, he was suddenly hit with a vision at the forefront of his imagination.

Nick was resting on Charlie’s shoulder, basking in the comfort of it all. It was as if his shoulder was specifically designed for Nick to lie on, the divets of his body perfectly accustomed to his head. He thought he could stay like this forever. He was on the verge of sleep when he noticed a light seeping through his eyelids; curiosity winning out over his exhaustion, he opened his eyes and was greeted with the sight of Charlie’s phone, his fingers frantically typing away in a group chat with whom Nick could only assume were the boy’s friends. That was when he saw them. Charlie’s messages were about him.

Charlie thought Nick was cute and hot, which Nick thought was high praise because, Jesus, had Charlie looked in a mirror lately? He was gorgeous, and in his sleepy haze, he had decided to let this be known by letting Charlie know he was just as cute and hot, before falling dead asleep.

Nick was so horrified at his own actions that he completely forgot about the constant thrumming in his palm until the plane bumped again, and the force on his hand got so tight he was almost positive it had cut off all circulation. He spared a look down, seeing a hand wrapped tight around his own, and followed its arm up until his gaze reached Charlie; eyes squeezed shut, chest heaving, clearly overwhelmed by anxiety, and for God knows what reason, it physically pained Nick to see Charlie hurt like this.

“Hey,” Nick nudged him with his shoulder. “Are you okay?”

“Hmm? Wh—, huh?” Charlie opened his eyes and stammered, but Nick could tell he wasn’t completely there, so he tried again.

“Charlie,” he said, yet he was met with no response but the sight of Charlie paralyzed by fear. “Charlie,” he repeated, with more fervor. The other turned his head towards Nick, eyes glazed over. Charlie shook his head, seemingly clearing his thoughts when he finally noticed the death grip he had on Nick’s hand.

“Oh my god. Oh my god,” he said as he yanked his hand away. “I am so sorry, oh my god, I cannot believe I did that. It was a complete accident and—”

“Charlie,” Nick interjected.

“—I know you probably think I am like the worst seat neighbor ever now and hate my guts and—”

“Charlie,” Nick grabbed his hands, effectively cutting the other boy off. “It’s fine, I promise.”

Charlie was quiet now, but his breathing was still extremely uneven. He was visibly shaken, so Nick continued talking, doing everything he could to calm him down.

“Can you focus on my voice?” Charlie nodded hesitantly. “Good, good. Okay, I want you to take a deep breath with me, can you do that?” Another hesitant nod. “Ready? Okay, breathe in one, two, three,” Nick made an effort to exaggerate the motions of his breathing, puffing his chest out and tilting his head up as he inhaled. “Now breathe out, one, two, three,” he said, once again emphasizing his movements. He did this a few more times until he saw the storm in Charlie’s eyes subside.

“You okay?” Nick asked, giving Charlie’s hands a small squeeze.

“Yeah,” Charlie exhaled. “Yeah. Thanks,” he said, as he began to pull his hands away.

“No problem,” Nick smiled. “You can, uh—”

“Hmm?” Charlie questioned.

Nick’s skin was on fire, reddening as he continued. “You can keep holding my hand. If you want.” Suddenly the fasten seatbelt sign looked incredibly interesting. When he hadn’t heard a response, he redirected his head back towards Charlie who was frozen in place with his face aflame and mouth agape. Their eyes locked, and it seemed as if time had stopped around them; all that existed in the world were Nick and Charlie suspended almost 11,000 meters in the air. After an indiscernible amount of time, Charlie averted his gaze and cleared his throat.

“Yeah,” he said. “I’d um, I’d like that.” He flashed a shy smile toward Nick.

“Cool.” Nick held his hand out for Charlie to grab.

“Cool.”

Their fingers slotted together perfectly like matching puzzle pieces.

Plane landings never scared Charlie as much as take-offs did, but they still often made him uneasy by plaguing his body with waves of various nerves as he felt his stomach drop during the descent. Yet oddly enough, he felt none of his usual anxieties as they lowered closer and closer to the ground in Kent. He presumed it most likely had something to do with the boy next to him.

Charlie’s hand still resided in Nick’s grasp, their fingers intertwined like the shoelaces on his Converse. Despite the remains of Charlie’s panic attack subsiding half an hour prior, Nick never removed his hand, which was completely fine in Charlie’s book; he didn’t exactly want him to. Seriously, how often would he get the chance to hold hands with a guy he met two hours prior who was the prime example of his type and who also thought Charlie was hot? Charlie was half-convinced that Nick was a figment of his imagination that he conjured out of pure desperation and loneliness, but as Nick gave his hand a small squeeze he was reminded that this was very much real life. He gave a small squeeze in return and a smile formed on his lips.

They were forced to drop their conjoined hands to unbuckle their seatbelts as the plane began to deboard, and Charlie found his hand felt uncharacteristically empty. So, after he grabbed his backpack from below the seat in front of him and had made his way into the aisle, he outstretched his hand for Nick to take again, under the guise of helping him out of his seat.

“Ah, such a gentleman, Mr. Spring,” he commented with a smirk, standing up and lacing their fingers together yet again.

“But of course, Mr. Nelson,” Charlie replied with an exaggerated posh accent, the ridiculousness of it causing them both to erupt in laughter, only to be interrupted by a middle-aged man behind them angrily clearing his throat, insinuating for them to move out of the way.

“I think that was a bit homophobic, to be honest,” Charlie said as they continued down the aisle.

“Oh, definitely,” Nick replied in a tone of sarcastic resolution. The two exited the airplane together, hand-in-hand. They didn’t let go this time.

Upon their arrival at their baggage claim, both of their phones buzzed. Charlie reached into his right back pocket, and Nick to his left, to observe what notification they had received, and Charlie blushed at the fact that their positions allowed them to continue holding onto one another. His mood was quickly soured when he read the notice on his lockscreen.

British Airways: We regret to inform you that your luggage was unable to be loaded onto your flight due to full storage capacity. It has been redirected to be placed on the next flight to your location, and you will be refunded the price of your checked baggage. The next flight will arrive in: 6 hours and 32 minutes. If you would like your luggage to be delivered to you, please input an address in the app. Do note that luggage delivery may delay the amount of time it takes for you to receive your baggage.

“Well, shit,” Charlie muttered.

“Your luggage get delayed too then?” Nick asked after pocketing his phone, cocking his head towards Charlie’s.

“Unfortunately. I don’t even have my carry-on suitcase with my house keys in it. I was so late to the gate the overhead bins were already full,” Charlie groaned, mirroring Nick and putting his phone away as well. “This is a nightmare. It cannot get worse than this.”

“Same,” Nick said. “I mean, I have my car keys and wallet, but literally everything else was in my carry-on, and I sincerely doubt I can crawl through my doggy door.”

Charlie barely managed to stifle a laugh at the mental image of Nick trying to fit this insanely fit body through an entry clearly not designed for humans.

“What?” Nick gave what Charlie had quickly learned was his signature downward titled half-smile. “Something funny about that? I thought we were going through mutual sufferance here.”

“No, no, I’m not laughing at your pain, believe me,” he said through a fit of giggles. “I am just dying at the thought of you trying to squeeze this,” he gestured to Nick’s body with his free hand, “through a doggy door. It’s quite an amusing picture, to be honest.”

Nick glanced down at himself and then back toward Charlie. “This?” he winked.

Charlie flushed. “Sh-shut up! You know what I meant,” he quickly looked away in embarrassment.

“Hmm, I don’t know if I do, Char. You might have to elaborate. I can be pretty dumb sometimes.”

Charlie whipped his head back towards Nick. “Char?” he questioned.

Nick’s playful expression vanished, quickly replaced by one made of a mix of both awkwardness and humiliation, completed with an extreme amount of blood rushing to his cheeks and nose and, well everywhere, really.

“Now whose turn is it to be embarrassed, Mr. Nelson?” Charlie giggled.

“It just slipped out!”

“Sure.” Charlie was about to tease him some more when his phone buzzed again. “What now,” he said under his breath, rolling his eyes. He glanced at his screen. “Oh, you have got to be shitting me. I jinxed it earlier. Apparently it can get worse.”

queen victoria: hey we were on our way to come pick you up but michael got a flat tire and he doesn’t have a spare. roadside recovery isn’t going to get here for another two hours; is there any way u could uber home. we will reimburse you. im so sorry charlie.

“What?” Nick asked, voice wholly genuine and full of concern.

In lieu of an oral response, Charlie simply handed his phone to the boy next to him and watched as Nick read the message that lit up Charlie’s shattered screen. “Victoria, Tori, is my sister, Michael’s her boyfriend. Uber wouldn’t be a problem normally, except I don’t ha—”

“Have your house keys,” Nick finished.

“Exactly,” Charlie nodded. “Even if I made it home, I’d be locked out regardless.”

Nick’s face contorted as he began glancing around them before he spoke up again. “We could spend the day together? My car is parked in the lot here, and like I said earlier, I have my car keys and wallet. We could maybe kill time together in town? And you could meet up with your sister afterward?”

Charlie was speechless. He met Nick at 6:30 that morning, and as ridiculous as it sounded, he was already quickly climbing up the rankings of Charlie’s all-time favorite people. How could one person just be so nice? He didn’t even realize he had forgotten to answer until Nick spoke up again.

“I mean, only if you’re comfortable with that. I totally understand if you’re not. I mean, I am a complete stranger, but I also kind of—no, not kind of, I really like you. Which I know is definitely not normal given that we just met, but we’re standing here holding hands and it feels like I’ve known you my whole life. I wish I’d known you my whole life. And I would really like to get to know you better if you’d let me.”

Again, Charlie was stunned. Nick’s voice was filled with authenticity and his eyes were laced with serenity. Logically yes, Nick could very well be a serial killer who kidnapped and killed boys he met on airplanes that he thought were cute and hot, but Charlie found himself entirely willing to take that risk. So he remembered to actually respond this time.

“We’re not strangers though,” he started, watching as Nick’s expression morphed into one of confusion. “I mean, not really. I know your name is Nick Nelson, although you’re probably like me, with a first name that’s really a nickname, meaning your actual first name is likely Nicholas. I know that you at least have one dog, or else you wouldn’t have a doggy door. I know that you live here in Kent and that you are just as bad at managing your time as I am, if not worse, given we were the last two people on that plane. I know that you are very obviously athletic in some way, either a gym shark or an actual athlete. I know that you’re either bisexual or a very enthusiastic ally, given the heart-shaped bi pride flag pin on your bag, though after that speech, I’m going to go with the former. I know that you are definitely the kindest person on the entire planet, going out of your way to formally introduce yourself to your airplane seat neighbor who accidentally sat in your seat, as well as calm down said stranger from a very intense panic attack. I also happen to know you found that seat neighbor to be very ‘cute’ and ‘hot,’ although those may or may not have been his words first. And last, but certainly not least, I know that you ‘really like me,‘ and I happen to really like you too. See? Not strangers at all.”

“I—,” now it was Nick’s turn to be speechless. He took a deep breath to steady himself before responding. “You are good, Charlie Spring. Although you’re wrong about one thing,” he winked.

“Oh yeah?” Charlie looked up at him, grinning. “And what might that be?”

“I am definitely not the kindest person on the entire planet,” he paused for effect, and then continued, mimicking Charlie’s posh accent from earlier, “I’m afraid that title belongs to you, Mr. Spring.” Charlie rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to respond, but Nick tugged on his arm, effectively cutting him off. “Shall we?”

Charlie laughed. “Yes. Yes, we shall.” So, they exited the airport just as they had exited the plane: hand-in-hand.

Never in the entirety of Nick’s twenty-one years of living had he ever been more grateful for the existence of cheap airplane tickets and early morning flights because if those two things did not exist, then he would have never met Charlie Spring.

Charlie Spring had to have been the single most interesting person Nick had ever met, and Nick found himself loving liking the other more and more each second they spent together. He was twenty and left-handed, his birthday was April 27th, and he firmly believed Mac DeMarco was a dickhead, if anyone asked him his favorite film, he would say it was Moonlight, but those closest to him knew it was actually The Holiday, his favorite Star Wars film was Return of the Jedi, he was convinced that Die Hard was a Christmas movie—“The setting is literally a Christmas party! It’s set on Christmas Eve! There are numerous Christmas jokes throughout the film! How is it not a Christmas film?”—he played the drums, lived in Kent his entire life until university, and he was the resident Mario Kart champion in his household. To say Nick was fascinated with Charlie would be an understatement.

The two currently sat in a small cafe in the middle of town, food and drinks long forgotten as they had fallen into easy conversations. Nick’s cheeks hurt from the smile that had decided to permanently reside on his face since he and Charlie sat down, so distracted by the sight of the other he nearly missed the next words he spoke.

“Okay, I think that is plenty about me,” he shook his head slightly while looking down at his lap. “Actually, sorry, that was way too much about me. I probably just like talked your head off, and you were probably just wishing I would shut up. Sorry, I just tend to ramble, and I just realized I am still rambling. Sorry, again. I’ll shut up now.”

“Char, look at me,” he said softly, waiting until the other met his gaze before he continued. “First of all, you say ‘sorry’ way too much,” he saw Charlie’s mouth open again before frantically adding “and don’t say it now!” Charlie’s mouth shut. “Second, I could listen to you talk for the rest of my life, so please do not apologize for it or think you are annoying because of it. It was really nice, actually, but if you would be more comfortable with me talking more now, that’s totally fine as well.” Nick gave Charlie what he hoped was a comforting smile.

“Thank you,” he said. “While I’m glad you enjoy hearing me talk, I’d like to learn more about you now, if that’s okay.” Charlie gave a small smile in return.

“Okay,” and Nick’s cheeks were seriously throbbing in pain now, but he didn’t think he could stop smiling even if he tried. “Well, as we have previously established, my first name is indeed Nicholas, I do indeed have a dog, two actually, and I was born and raised here in Kent. While it would be hilarious if I were a ‘very enthusiastic ally,’ I am, indeed, bisexual, and I would agree that I am fairly athletic. Expanding on that, my full name is Nicholas Luke Nelson, my birthday is September 4th, I am twenty-one, I play rugby for my university and have played for as long as I can remember. I have one sibling, an older brother who I haven’t willingly spoken to in years, and I am bilingual. I write in cursive with fountain pens exclusively, and not to sound too self-centered or anything, I am great at baking,” he smiled proudly, puffing his chest as he finished.

“Wow, a rugby lad. I don’t know if this is going to work out, Nicholas,” Charlie said with a playful smile.

Nick gave an exaggerated gasp. “How rude!” he replied through laughs. Charlie laughed along with him before Nick spoke again.

“Okay, if we’re only a year and a half apart, and we are both from the same area, how have I never met you before? Or at least heard of you? This isn’t exactly the most populated area of England.” Nick was genuinely curious, but he immediately regretted it after seeing Charlie’s face fall. “What’s wrong? You don’t have to answer that if you’re uncomfortable. I just feel like I missed out on being graced with the presence of Charlie Spring earlier in my life, that’s all.”

“No, it’s fine, don’t worry, it’s just,” he paused. “Well, what school did you go to?”

“Truham. Why?” Charlie’s face fell again before he neutralized his expression and tilted his head downwards.

“Then you definitely have heard of me. I don’t think there is a single student at Truham who hasn’t,” Charlie laughed, but his heart clearly wasn’t in it.

“I’m sorry. I’m not exactly following,” Nick titled his head. Charlie lifted his head to meet Nick’s gaze.

“Do you remember, during your Year 10, hearing the rumors that a kid at Truham was gay?”

Nick nodded, the gears slowly turning in his head.

“That was me.”

Nick’s heart sunk.

“Charlie—”

“It’s fine, honestly,” he continued. “My grades were good enough that the Academy allowed me to transfer there mid-term. Some kids knew like you said, it’s a small town. Word spreads. But those who did know didn’t care and had enough human decency to not tell anyone else. I found a good group of friends, who I actually met through one of my friends at Truham, and they were all great and very understanding, if you know what I mean. I got to live on my own terms again, but I hardly did anything to stand out out of the fear word would spread again, until Year 12, when I decided I wasn’t going to keep hiding anymore. I ran for the position of head boy, and I was right, word did spread, but I actually used that to my advantage. In my campaign, I talked about the harmful effects of sharing that type of information when a person isn’t ready, statistics and stuff like that, and also how I wanted to help create a more diverse and inclusive environment for everyone. Plus, it automatically secured me the votes of practically every other queer student, so it was kind of genius actually. Some even told me I gave them the courage to come out, which was honestly incredible to hear. Regardless, that’s why we haven’t met before, but for your information, I also wish I had met you sooner,” he finished, smiling.

“I’m flattered,” Nick winked. “In all seriousness, I am really sorry you had to go through that. Can I um, tell you something though? It’s kind of related,” Nick immediately regretted his choice of words, as he realized that sounded incredibly ominous. “It’s nothing bad, though!” he quickly added. “I swear. It’s just that, hearing you say that made me remember something that I’d like to share with you.”

“Sure, go ahead,” Charlie said with a grin.

“Okay, well, this might sound kind of dumb but, you’re kind of the reason I came to terms with my own sexuality?”

“Yeah?” Charlie asked, tilting his head. His expression was full of genuine curiosity, which gave Nick the courage to continue on.

“Yeah. I mean, I didn’t know it was you, I just heard the rumors but never a name. But they really bothered me. I mean, they should’ve bothered everyone because that’s just a really fucking horrid thing to do, but I realized every time I heard someone say something about how ‘gross’ it was to like guys at an all-boys school, it felt like there was this giant pit in my stomach that just kept growing. For a while, I couldn’t really figure out why, so like any teenage boy in need of anonymous advice would do, I turned to Google, which led me to Reddit, which led me to some subreddit I can’t remember the name of. I was too scared to post anything at first out of fear someone would find out it was me, which was ridiculous in hindsight, but one day I just couldn’t take the comments anymore, so I basically said ‘fuck it,’ made a throwaway account, and just started typing. It ended up being like, ridiculously long, so I was worried no one would even read it, but I actually got a good amount of responses. A lot of them basically said that feeling awful about something of that scale happening to someone else was just basic human sympathy and empathy, but there was one reply that really caught my eye. The person had written something like ‘Have you considered that it’s affecting you this much because you might like guys too?’ at first it shocked me because I had liked girls before, and I figured if I did like guys I would have known by then. But I just kept seeing it every time I closed my eyes.

“Anyway, that kind of made me spiral a bit. You know, gay crisis and all because I couldn’t remember liking a guy before, but deep down I knew they were right. Which caused me to spiral even more, rethinking all my previous friendships where I had gotten nervous around guys, really wanting them to like me, and then it hit me that it was because I liked them, as in, you know, like like.

“My point is that you inspired more than just other kids at the Academy to come to terms with themselves. You, albeit very indirectly, allowed me to come to terms with myself too. And I’m not saying that you should ‘look on the bright side’ of your being outed, because that is just absurd and obviously not okay, but I just wanted to thank you, I guess? It’s stupid, but I always wished things were different; I wished that I knew you then, or could tell you sooner. Sorry, like I said that was really dumb, I just wanted you to know.” Nick didn’t know when he averted his gaze away from Charlie to the ornate chandeliers on the ceiling of the cafe, but when he felt Charlie’s hand on top of his own, he allowed his eyes to meet the other’s yet again.

His heart surged when he saw Charlie’s eyes, so full of fondness and warmth. Nick thought he would forever be in awe of the boy sitting across from him. He turned his hand so his palm was facing up, allowing their hands to slide together yet again.

“Thank you,” was all he said, with his kind smile and creased eyes that made Nick want to kiss him until neither of them could breathe.

Instead, he just smiled back.

Charlie knew he was falling too hard and too fast, but it was hard not to when every time he looked at Nick or heard his voice he felt like he was home. The thought should have terrified him, honestly. He had never felt like he was home anywhere; not in the house he grew up in, or in Tao’s bedroom on film nights. Not in his university dorm or Tori’s flat; he always felt like he was an intruder leeching onto the space of others. Like he was an unwanted fly on their wall, or the kid no one really wanted at their birthday party but that was invited anyway so he wasn’t the odd one out. He never felt like he could ever fully relax and be himself without worrying about outside judgment.

Yet here, in the company of Nick Nelson, Charlie had never felt more welcomed. Not once did he ever feel unwanted when he was with Nick; in fact, he felt entirely the opposite. He never quite understood the phrase “home is where the heart is” because he always felt like his heart was never actually with him, no matter where he was. But now, he understood it as clear as day; his heart was with Nick, and Charlie wanted nothing more than to bask in his presence for as long as the other would let him. Right now, though, he would settle for just enjoying their shared moment together; hands entwined across the small table at which they’re seated in the quaint, dimly-lit cafe, content in the silent company of one another.

Charlie had completely forgotten the numerous unfortunate circumstances that had led them to their current state of affairs until his phone buzzed from where it lay face down on the table. He reached for it with his free hand, and he felt his mood sink.

“Oh,” he exhaled.

Nick turned his head to face Charlie. “What’s up?”

“My sister just texted saying she’s back at our house. Apparently, my luggage was dropped off too. I guess I missed that notification earlier. She sent a picture of it in our entryway.”

“Oh,” Nick echoed.

“Yeah.”

“Do you want me to take you home?”

No, Charlie thought, staying silent for a bit longer.

“Char?”

“Right, sorry,” he said. “Honestly? Not really,” he sighed. “But Victoria will probably start getting worried if I don’t come home soon, and I promised I would babysit our little brother tonight while she and Michael go out together.”

“That sucks,” Nick replied genuinely. “I mean, not the babysitting your brother part or anything. But the fact that we can’t, you know…” he trailed off, but Charlie got the message.

“Yeah. It really does,” he huffed.

Charlie wanted to stay with Nick. Nick wanted to stay with Charlie. But the universe had other plans, so Nick got up and paid for their food and drinks, despite Charlie’s objections, and they left. They sat in Nick’s car in silence for a bit, until Charlie heard him speak up.

“I feel a bit awkward for asking this, but I’m not exactly psychic so. Do you mind telling me your address?” He smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Oh right, sorry,” Charlie laughed. “I live on Brittania Road.”

“No way! That’s like a five-minute drive from my house!” Nick exclaimed.

“Really?” Charlie asked excitedly, temporarily forgetting the sour mood they were both in.

“Yeah! I live on River Crescent. It’s like, a ten-minute walk at most. You could come over sometime!” A blush crept up Nick’s face before he added “If you want to, I mean. You don’t have to, but I would like it if you did. But if you don’t want to that’s totally fine, I completely—”

“Nick,” Charlie cut him off, holding his face in both hands. “I would love to,” he smiled.

They stayed like that for a moment. Charlie noticed Nick’s gaze lowered to his lips and did the same. He noticed Nick’s mouth open before Charlie’s phone started ringing. They quickly drew their hands away, sitting still in their seats facing the road.

“Sorry, I have to—”

“It’s okay!” Nick said a bit too enthusiastically.

Charlie tilted the corners of his lips upwards before picking up his phone. “Yes, your highness?”

“I told you to stop calling me that,” came the voice of his sister, gravely through the heavily processed recreation of her voice. “Anyway, how the hell did you get into town? I have your location on, you know. Don’t tell me you walked, my god.”

“No, no, I didn’t walk,” he replied. “I went on a date?”

“Are you sure? You don’t sound sure. Oh my god, have you been kidnapped?” her voice was growing in volume as Charlie heard the unsettlement creep in.

“No! Victoria I have not been kidnapped.”

“That is exactly what someone who has been kidnapped would say.”

“Tori, I’m fine, I swear. I’ll be home soon. If I’m not, you can track me down with my phone location.”

“Don’t say that! Now he’ll know to throw your phone away!”

“Which he won’t! Because, for the last time, I have not been kidnapped! Tori, I swear on the Spring family name I am fine. Now, go get ready for your date night with Michael. Like I said, I’ll be home soon.”

“It is not a date night,”

“Whatever, Victoria. I’ll see you soon.”

“You have fifteen minutes before I call 999.”

“Love you too. Goodbye,” he emphasized, sighing and tilting his head back as he hung up the phone.

“A date, huh?” Nick smirked, looking over at him.

“I would hope so. We did nearly just make out in your car before we were rudely interrupted by my sister,” he deadpanned.

“Touché.” Charlie saw pink creep up Nick’s neck as he turned on the ignition. They resumed their comfortable silence from earlier as Nick drove down the town street. Charlie noticed he was purposefully going under the speed limit to extend their time together, but too soon he turned onto Charlie’s street all the same.

“This is me,” Charlie said, pointing at the fifth house on the left. Nick pulled over and turned off the car, but neither of them got out. Charlie broke the silence first. “I had a really good time today.”

“Yeah?” Nick whipped his head towards Charlie with a blinding smile.

“Yeah,” Charlie mirrored Nick’s expression. “Maybe, I could get your number?”

“Huh?” Nick tilted his head, a look of confusion on his face until it seemingly hit him. “Oh! Oh my god, yeah, sorry. I kind of forgot we just met if I’m being honest. Here,” he handed Charlie his phone. “Put your number in and text yourself so you have mine, and then I can walk you up.”

“Okay.” Charlie did as he was told, and sent a quick message to himself before handing Nick his phone back. “I should probably go inside now. I can feel Tori glaring through the blinds,” he chuckled.

“Is that what that chill on my neck is? It’s been freaking me out for the past few minutes. I thought your house might be haunted or something,” Nick replied with total sincerity.

“If you thought my house was haunted, why did you offer to walk me to my door?” Charlie questioned.

“Because I am a gentleman who appreciates chivalry, and I happen to like you very much, Charlie Spring.”

“You like me?”

“Yes? I don’t exactly go around spending my entire day with cute strangers I meet on planes, nor do I spend as much time thinking about kissing strangers as I did thinking about kissing you.”

“Oh,” Charlie blushed. “You can kiss me. If you want.”

“Char, I just said I have thought about kissing you practically every moment we have spent together. Obviously, I want to kiss you.”

“Then kiss me,” he said with newfound confidence. He noticed Nick was taken aback for a moment, flushing yet again, before he wrapped one hand around Charlie’s neck and cupped his cheek with the other, angling their faces to meet one another.

Their lips met, and Charlie found himself falling for Nick all over again. The way he gently caressed his face, guiding Charlie’s lips to fit against his own. Too soon, they were both breathless and pulled away from one another, yet Charlie didn’t think he could ever get tired of kissing Nick. He once again took in the freckles painting the other’s face and found himself wanting to count every single one and study the constellations they formed. But he knew he didn’t have time for that right now, as Tori probably already had 999 typed in her keypad, finger hovering over the green dial button, so he reluctantly pulled away.

“We should do that again sometime,” he said.

“Yeah,” Nick breathed, slowly clearing from his trance as well. “Do you want me to walk you up still?”

“Yeah. That’d be nice.”

Charlie watched as Nick exited the driver’s side and walked over to open the passenger door, holding it open as he reached for Charlie’s hand to guide him out of the seat.

“You weren’t kidding about chivalry,” he joked.

“Never,” he stopped walking for a moment, and Charlie noticed he seemed incredibly deep in thought before he spoke again. “You know, I don’t think my luggage has been dropped at my house yet,” he winked, and Charlie immediately knew where this was going.

“Oh no,” he playfully exclaimed, placing a hand over his heart and picking up his extravagant posh accent. “Whatever will you do?”

“If you may be so kind as to lend me your hospitality, I would be forever in your debt, Mr. Spring,” Nick replied in an equal amount of poshness.

“Hmm,” Charlie pretended to ponder. “I think that can possibly be arranged, Mr. Nelson. Shall we?” he said, nudging his head towards his door.

“We shall,” he replied, guiding them up the steps together.