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“Jett,” Sage hissed into her earpiece and reloading her vandal. “Get out of there before you get killed. I don't want to have to bring those knews home to Neon.” Sage’s scolding tone was motherly, even in the heat of the battle field.
They were pinned, the spike was literally a time bomb, and they were stuck outside of B site Breeze. mid was smoked and heavily guarded, double arches had a raze missile locked on to them and B main was Op guarded. Phoenix needed to make a move, he needed to do what he did best and make space for his team, so he figured mid was his best bet. Yoru was waiting for them at double arches and Jett was toying with the idea of dashing straight over the wall at main, hence Sage’s warning.
“Everyone stay put until I give the signal,” Phoenix took a deep breath, throwing a flash around the corner and into the darkness beyond the smoke. The smoke dissipated a moment later leaving two people blinded and vulnerable, and before anyone could blink two unmoving bodies were on the ground. Phoenix took a deep breath.
“Go, push site!” He called into his ear piece. He heard the Raze rocket go off somewhere on his right but Yoru seemed to be fine. Jett came flying over the wall and immediately took someone out with sage breaking down the wall behind her.
Suddenly there was the booming voice of Brimstone’s double as the double activated his ultimate.
“Shit, everyone get out!” Phoenix screamed, running away from the center of site as fast as he could. By the time the ult cleared Phoenix could hear the rapid beeping of the spike, it was already too far gone.
“We don’t have enough time! Everyone retreat, we can't do this!” Sage’s panicked voice pounded in Phoenix’s ear.
“I need responses from everyone now!” She yelled.
“Yup,” Phoenix managed. Phoenix heard Jett's voice, sage was obviously okay and omen sounded like he was in one piece, but Yoru’s line remained silent.
“Yoru?” Sage’s voice was stern, she never really let worry show.
“Hey, rift walker where you at?“ Jett’s voice rang through now.
“Shit,” Phoenix sighed, they were almost out of time.
Phoenix bolted for double arches, ducking behind the wall mid site to avoid the gunfire. He threw his flame wall the rest of the way across and stayed low to the ground and he ran for double arches.
Phoenix could see Yoru slumped against the wall towards the other spawn, he was breathing, that was a reliefe.
Phoenix heard the bomb’s beeping suddenly stop they were almost out of range. Phoenix ran and yanked Yoru away from the wall, he felt the pressure of the explosion push them further away from the blast. And then, there was silence, Phoenix’s ears rung slightly as he sat up, he coughed a bit, feeling a bit of pain in his side he assumed was from their harsh landing up against the side of a building.
“Sage, Jett, Omen, you copy?” Phoenix tapped his ear piece a few times, nothing but static came from the other end.
“Fuck me…” Phoenix breathed taking the ear piece out and examining the device, it practically fell apart in his hands.
Yoru shifted and grunted beside him Phoenix only just now notice the blood that was spilling from a bullet hole in his leg.
“Yoru? Hey, what happened?” Phoenix asked, sitting up more.
“I got shot, genius,” he said through gritted teeth.
“Yeah I know, I just thought- okay did the bullet all the way through your leg?” Phoenix asked, shucking off his jacket.
“I don’t know, I can’t really tell,” Yoru growled, writhing slightly as Phoenix put his hand on his leg.
“Okay, you need to lift your leg, if there’s a bullet still in there…I just need to make sure.” Phoenix said. He had always thought Sage’s stupid first aid courses were just that, stupid but now he was thankful for ever second he managed to pay attention in those courses.
Yoru bent his leg at the knee and let out a small cry of pain as he did so, they were both covered in sand but Phoenix could tell the bullet was gone.
“The bullet is out, thank fuck,” Phoenix sighed, sitting back down, he picked his jacket up and tore the sleeve off, tearing it into strips before kneeling infront of Yoru.
“You're not going to like this idea,” Phoenix said, “but it’s going to keep you from bleeding out.” Phoenix handed Yoru another ball of fabric.
“You are going to want to bite down on something, seriously.” Phoenix urged.
Yoru scoffed, even when he was bleeding out he managed to be a cocky bitch it was astounding.
“I'm not going to let you bleed out but you need to do this, you are going to regret it if you don't.” Phoenix shook the piece of fabric. They were running out of time and as always Yoru was picking pride over real logic.
Yoru begrudgingly took the piece of fabric, it was obvious that his hands were shaking, and his skin was getting paler but he was still stalling.
Yoru put the piece of ball fabric between his teeth, phoenix wrapped the strip of fabric around his leg and quickly pulled it tight. Yoru had known phoenix was strong, it was obvious his strong arms, a large chest and abs, Yoru had noticed more than he had liked to admit, but only now did he realize what that truly ment.
Yoru’s screams were muffled behind the fabric and after a moment Phoenix finished wrapping up his leg and Yoru spat that fabric from his mouth.
“I told you so.” He shrugged. Yoru just rolled his eyes in response.
“Since when were you a healer?” Yoru smirked.
“I’m not, remember those rookie trainings we took? You did yours more recently than I did. But I remember some of the field aid, for shit exactly like this.” Phoenix said.
“And you would have died if I didn’t know what to do there, so I wouldn’t be so smug.”
Phoenix’s sentence broke off into some coughs, it was warm on this island, and Phoenix could only guess how long it was going to take for someone to come and get them.
“What happened to you anyway? I mean we all heard the raze rocket but after that…” Phoenix shrugged.
“I was shaken up, I don’t know, what the fuck do you think i would feel like after a fucking missile was shot at me?” Yoru scowled.
“Yoru I just- who shot you?” Phoenix was trying his best to be the more civil of the two. Their constant fighting wasn’t something he wanted to deal with at the moment but when Yoru constantly had to pick fights, or cuss him out, or make him feel stupid, it got increasingly more difficult.
“I Don’t know, she shot the rocket, I hit the wall, she might have had time to shoot a bullet at me before you guys started pushing?” Yoru shrugged. Phoenix watched the other’s hands dig deeper into the sand. Yoru was obviously in a lot of pain but was much too stubborn to admit it.
“Well, I’m glad you're alive,” Phoenix sighed, another cough ripping through his chest. “Reinforcements should be here soon. They know we’re here and they can’t leave two of their best agents to die,” Phoenix grinned, looking tiredly across the beach. He was drowsy, and his head felt fogged and made his thoughts feel muddy and incomplete. He couldn’t figure out why, only that there was dull pain somewhere in his abdomen, it was probably just bruised from their fall.
Yoru gave Phoenix another quizzical look. Maybe it was the heat, maybe Phoenix hit his head during the explosion, but Phoenix was really being nice to him, maybe it was the fact that he was bleeding out, but it was…kind of nice, not that Yoru would admit that of course. Sometimes the hurt look in Phoenix’s eyes after he made a mean comment would get to him. And his passion for his friends and what they did was inspiring, but Yoru would hide that in the most secret part of his mind until he died. He’d been mean to Phoenix since his first day, there was no reason for that to change now.
They were quiet for a while, Phoenix seemed to be falling asleep, his head lolling slightly towards him.
Yoru looked down at his leg, the white fraying strips of fabric were stained red, his leg was still bleeding, not as bad as before but it was definitely bleeding. He would probably need to change the bandage soon, and Phoenix was obviously exhausted. And Yoru wouldn’t be caught dead asking for Phoenix’s help.
Yoru untensed his hands, which had been balled fiercely at his sides. He reached for one of the other discarded pieces of fabric, he would have to be quick so he didn’t bleed out and he couldn't make any noise because then he would wake up Phoenix and-
“Don’t even think about it, rift walker, “ Phoenix’s voice rasped. He was sitting up now, a dazed look still in his eyes.
“Well you were sleeping and I didn’t want to-“
“Cut the shit, we both know you are too stubborn to ask for help. But if you try to do this yourself you are going to bleed out and die, Yoru.” Phoenix kneeled in front of him again, taking the piece of cloth from his hands.
Yoru’s composer was quickly gone with Phoenix’s graveled voice and hazy eyes. His face burned with a mix of flusteredness and shame. “I just…you look tired,” Yoru choked out, wincing as Phoenix’s hands brushed over the bullet hole.
Phoenix’s eyebrow quirked up in amusement and he had a small smirk on his face. “A bold choice, being considerate of others.” He commented, pulling the piece of fabric taught around his leg.
“Fuck!” Yoru hissed, tears pricked at his eyes as Phoenix gave him a sympathetic smile. Yoru refused to cry in front of Phoenix. He hadn’t cried in front of anyone in a long time and he wanted to keep it that way, but it was much harder than he would like to admit.
“Are you alright, mate? Can I do anything?” Phoenix asked, he obviously tell that Yoru was on the verge of tears, Yoru cursed him for being too kind. Yoru shook his head in response, not trusting his voice.
There was more silence, Phoenix wasn’t really bothered by it but it definitely wasn’t comfortable. Sage needed to get back to them fast, Yoru wasn’t going to last much longer without real medical help. Yoru had a serious injury and their resources were heavily limited.
“What happened after the raze rocket went off?” Yoru asked finally. He needed something to distract him from the throbbing pain coursing through him and Phoenix was the only option.
“We got on site okay, after I got on site Jett and sage got on too and omen was hanging back just in case because we didn’t know where the raze was. But the Brimstone set off his ultimate to stall time and we didn’t have a choice but to leave. And by the time it cleared it was too late. We tried to reach you but we kept getting static so I ran for double arches and now…yeah, now we’re here.” Phoenix shrugged.
“Why?” Yoru looked into Phoenix’s eyes, the warmth of Phoenix’s eyes held a lot more fire than Yoru ever noticed. It was like his heart was beating there, you could see everything Phoenix was feeling in his eyes.
“What do you mean?” The corner of Phoenix’s mouth quirked up, he was still staring at the waves as they pounded into the shore line.
“Why did you save me? You could have met up with everyone else, you could have gotten out, but you stayed…why?” Yoru felt his hands shake slightly, surely Phoenix had been asked to retrieve him, he wouldn’t put himself in this sort of danger on his own accord.
“Look, Yoru, we might not be the best of friends but I wasn’t just going to leave you to die. I’m not that kinda person, mate. Anything could have happened to you if I left you here and I seriously don’t think we could operate without you. You’ve got raw talent that no one else has. But it’s more than just your skill, bruv. I know you’re a good person, Jett thinks you’re pretty cool, You and Neon bond over hating Chamber, Brimstone likes how tactical you are, god even Killjoy is fascinated by your abilities, people care about you. I wasn’t just going to let you die.” Phoenix shrugged. Truthfully he also really cared about Yoru. Sure they had issues, but Phoenix had never truly hated Yoru. He was talented and smart and having someone to compete against was always nice. Yoru pushed him to be better, and it was hard to imagine living at Valorant headquarters without him.
“Oh…” Yoru was grasping at something to say, anything to say. He had no idea that they all cared for him so much. He really just thought everyone hated him. He was cold and distant and often said horribly mean things he didn't mean but here Phoenix was, saying that everyone really cared about him. “Thanks.” Yoru nodded, the words were foreign on his tongue. Sure he had thanked people before, but it wasn’t like he had thanked Phoenix, ever. He hadn’t thanked him once since Phoenix recklessly endangered his own life to make sure Yoru stayed alive. He had saved Yoru’s life and he had said nothing.
“It’s really nothing, mate.” Phoenix shrugged.
“You’re a selfless idiot.” Yoru stated.
“So I’ve been told.” Phoenix’s smile was genuine, bright like the sun that was still hanging in the sky. His smile relieved some of the throbbing pain in Yoru’s leg.
“But seriously, Phoenix I haven’t thanked you…I haven’t thanked you once since we got in this mess I’m sorry….I…shit,” Yoru chuckled dryly.
“It’s alright, bruv. I don’t care. It’s not about that. I am just glad you’re alive.” Phoenix was selfless to the point it was self destructive. It was annoying that he couldn’t just see that so many people were thankful for him, Yoru was sure of it.
“Were you always like this?” Yoru asked suddenly, maybe it was the blood loss, or the dehydration, or the heat, but his curiosity overcame his shame of asking.
“Like what?” Phoenix laughed, the same delirious tone in his voice drifting back in, as though he was drifting in and out of sleep.
“This selfless,” he said.
Phoenix’s face suddenly dimmed, he looked upset. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” Yoru rushed, realizing he struck a nerve.
“Uh, no you’re fine. My moms always said I was my whole life. I don’t really remember when I was a kid. But after uhm, ya know…the end of the world, yeah. But I feel like a lot of people were different after that.” Phoenix swallowed thickly.
“Oh,” Yoru said dumbly, trying to process things.
“Yeah…” Phoenix sniffed, swiping a hand across his forehead.
“What- never mind,” Yoru shook his head, cursing his impulsivity.
“What happened? That’s what you were going to ask right?” Phoenix smiled half heartedly over at him.
“Yeah,” Yoru sighed. “But I get it, that shit’s personal. I don’t know if I am even ready to talk about that shit yet…and it’s been years.” Yoru sighed.
“I assume things were different for you, because well, our powers are pretty different.” Phoenix sighed. Yoru remained silent, leaving Phoenix space to talk.
“I was in school, just started college, so I was pretty young. Uh, I don’t remember details but when everything went to shit, I…” Phoenix sighed, collecting himself. He had never told anyone about this. He didn’t know if he would ever be ready to talk about it. So he thought now was as good a time as any.
“I lit the building on fire. I am not sure how, It wasn’t on purpose I don’t think i will ever have that much power again…but whatever happened, happened. A lot of people-“ Phoenix cut himself off he felt tears pricking at his eyes. “A lot of people died. And I lived, because for whatever fucking reason I’m immune. But, afterwards I have no idea what happened, I got off easy because everyone just thought it was all the other shit that was going on but I killed those people…after what happened I felt obligated to save people, which is why I’m here, at Valorant and here right now.” Phoenix’s eyes finally left the shore line, only meeting Yoru’s eyes for a second but Yoru could see the pain in them.
“I’m so sorry,” Yoru whispered. Yoru reached a hand towards Phoenix’s shoulder but he hesitated, there wasn’t much comfort Yoru could bring, he had never been good with people.
“It’s alright mate. Shit just…shit happens. And if that didn’t happen, then I wouldn’t be here, I wouldn’t have met Jett, or Sage, or Sova or omen, or Cypher, or you…” the glint in Phoenix’s eyes returned.
“I just wish I was better at comforting people. I’ve never been good at that stuff,” Yoru chuckled.
“Don’t worry about it.” Phoenix shrugged, the sun was. Hanging lower in the sky now. It wasn’t sunset yet, but the hottest part of the day was over, which was the biggest relief.
“Where’d you live?” Yoru asked. It was off topic, but felt like he needed to lighten the mood.
“Uh, Brighton area. Went to London sometimes to see friends. How ‘bout you?” Phoenix asked.
“Kyoto, it’s northern Japan. It’s a nice city. I always wanted to move to Tokyo but I had a lot of family in and around Kyoto so I never had the heart to leave.” Yoru smiled a bit.
“Maybe you’ll get to go back some day,” Phoenix smiled.
“I don’t know if I want to go back. It was a part of my life that just seems so out of reach,” Yoru shrugged. He felt light headed, but he hoped the bleeding from his leg wasn’t as bad.
“I don’t think I would be able to go back to Brighton either. Too many memories.” Phoenix sighed.
“I get it,” Yoru muttered, feeling more tired than he had the entire time they had been there.
“Hey, Yoru. You can’t fall asleep, not when you’ve lost this much blood.” Phoenix sat up and put a large hand on Yoru’s shoulder.
“I’m just really tired.” Yoru sighed.
“I know, I am really tired too but you have to stay awake,” Phoenix urged.
“Fine, fine, let’s just…just keep talking, it will keep us awake.” Yoru sighed, prying his eyes further open.
“Uh, sure. Can I ask you something kind of I don’t know, personal?” Phoenix was picking at his fingers. His eyes flitting around, he was attentive to everything and Yoru could barely keep his eyes open long enough to think of an answer.
“Sure,” Yoru finally managed.
“Uh,” Phoenix cleared his throat, obviously nervous.
“Why were you….why did you act so cold in the beginning?” Phoenix didn’t know how else to phrase the question. The last thing he wanted to do was be insensitive but it was hard to explain what he was trying to ask.
“Like when I first got to protocol?” Yoru asked.
“Uh, yeah…I mean this is I think the most regular conversation we have had, ever so.” Phoenix shrugged.
“I…uhm, listen where I came from, before Valorant I had to be the best to be respected, I had to shove my way to the top so my belongings weren’t stolen and I got to eat. People never thought much of me. So. I put on this façade like I knew I was the best of the best because I was brought here. I just- it was so I didn’t look weak. So I didn’t get attached to anyone I don’t know….it’s…it’s different now, I mean I have some people I would consider friends, I know that I’m not going anywhere, nor is anyone else.” Yoru shrugged. He felt like his explanation wasn’t the most clear, but there wasn’t much he had words for. He had just never been in one place for a long time, so not getting attached to anyone was always his first instinct, but that was what was different about Valorant. It relied on the bonds between agents, and Yoru was thankful for that.
“We…we’re friends, right?” Phoenix felt really stupid asking that question but something told him he should ask.
“Yeah, Phoenix. You saved my life, I think I could consider us friends.” Yoru laughed.
“But i don’t want you to just feel like we are friends because of that, I just, I sound stupid but I really admire you, Yoru. Seriously.” Phoenix grinned.
“Oh,” Yoru looked stunned for a moment, the setting sun carving out Phoenix’s features.
“I…I didn’t realize you….” Yoru stuttered, and Phoenix let out a laugh that quickly tapered off into coughs.
“Yeah, mate. I think you’re pretty cool. But you like competing so I went along with it, I don’t like to lose.” He grinned.
“Yeah…I think we drove KJ mad with how many times we ran MAX.” Yoru said, earning a laugh from them both.
“Do you think they are really coming for us?” Yoru asked suddenly.
“Of course they are,” Phoenix shook his head, why wouldn’t they?
“I just think it might take a bit. They aren’t going to let us die out here though. I’m sure of it.” Phoenix said.
Time passed. Neither of them could be sure how much time though. But it was enough, they were exhausted. Phoenix looked sick but claimed it was just the heat. Yoru’s leg felt numb most of the time, and if he tried to move it there was nothing but searing pain throughout his whole leg. And still no one came to get them. Phoenix was 100% sure they knew because how else would they explain both Phoenix and Yoru being missing. There was only one place they could be.
Yoru, despite all of Phoenix’s protests, eventually fell asleep. Yoru was running out of time. If help didn’t arrive soon, Yoru would die, and Phoenix would never forgive himself if he let that happen.
Phoenix breathed in the salty air, it had been a long time since they had gotten stuck, Phoenix wasn’t sure how long. It was particularly quiet at the moment, not too much wind, so of course the waves on the beach weren’t as rough so it was quiet.
Yoru shifted beside him, his face pale and the makeshift bandages on his legs stained red. Phoenix looked out over the horizon, watching a few birds fly overhead.
Phoenix could suddenly hear faint voices, but no one was on the island he would have heard footsteps, it was coming from Yoru’s ear piece.
Phoenix quickly took the ear piece and put it in his ear, Sage’s voice ringing clear over the intercom
“Yoru, Phoenix, are you two there?” Her voice was cool as always.
“Yeah, yeah we’re here. But you guys seriously have to hurry. Yoru is in really bad shape, he isn’t going to make it much longer.” Phoenix urged.
“Are you ok Phoenix?” Sage asked.
“Yeah, of course ‘m fine bruv. Just get here soon.” Phoenix cut himself off in a fit of coughs.
“We will be there within the hour, Phoenix.” Sage’s voice said before the line was nothing but silence. Phoenix let out a shaky breath, relief washing over him.
“Yoru, c’mon, you need to wake up man,” Phoenix shook the other, gently, trying to get him to wake up.
Yoru’s eyes cracked open but he was delirious, and the exhaustion on his face was evident.
“They’re almost here, they are coming to get us, just hang on a little longer ok?” Phoenix’s hands were warm on Yoru’s hands which were uncomfortably cold.
Yoru managed to nod, his eyes drifting shut again. In his deliriousness he could hear the blades of a helicopter and shouting voices. He felt the whispers of touch where someone picked him up and carried him from where they had been sitting, he felt the coolness of Sage’s powers at work and could hear muffled voices that briefly turned to shouting again, before all was quiet.
Yoru woke up what he estimated to be days later in one of Sage’s makeshift hospital rooms. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little disappointed that he was alone. It was weird being alone after someone else being there all hours of the day for longer than you could keep track of. Phoenix’s constant presence had been comforting, but now he was alone.
“Ah, Yoru, I’m glad to see you’re awake.” Sage smiled warmly at him as she brushed around the room with a clipboard scribbling things down.
“Where’s Phoenix?” Yoru asked, wincing as he aat up.
“Yoru, did he not…?” She gave him a puzzled look.
“What? Sage is he ok? What the fuck?” Yoru choked out, caught off guard by the look on her face.
“Phoenix was shot, Yoru. In the side. He’s alright but i'm surprised you didn’t know, I’m surprised he could even walk when we found you two. He carried you onto the ship and everything.” She sighed.
“That idiot,” Yoru hissed, running a hand through his hair. The entire time they had been stranded on that god forsaken island Phoenix had a fatal wound and Yoru didn’t notice a thing. He felt stupid, he was angry at Phoenix for hiding it from him and most of all he was worried. Worried about Phoenix.
“I need to see him,” Yoru said, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and immediately regretted it, pain shot up his leg and he let out a strained cry, sage rushed over putting an arm around Yoru to help him to his feet.
“You can’t put any pressure on your leg yet, Yoru. I’m serious, you could gravely injure yourself further if you’re not careful.
“Okay, okay, I will be careful.” Yoru said through clenched teeth as sage helped him out of bed and down the hall.
Phoenix’s room was bleak and devoid of life. Even he looked incredibly ill, his coppery skin dull and his breaths were shallow.
“Shit…” Yoru choked out, averting his eyes from the other’s face. Sage helped him sit down in the chair beside Phoenix’s bed and Yoru tried his best to hold back tears until she was gone.
“If you need anything I am just down the hall, just knock.” She smiled sadly at him before walking out of sight.
Yoru’s eyes traced over Phoenix’s unmoving figure over and over again until he couldn’t bear to look at him any longer. He felt guilty, he felt upset, and most of all he missed phoenix. He missed his smile, and the way his eyes lit up when he laughed. He missed the warmth that he always radiated. Yoru had ever really thought about what he felt for Phoenix. He had just convinced himself that he hated Phoenix. He was always so happy, and warm, and kind. They were total opposites and Yoru had convinced himself they would never be friends. But now his heart yearned for him. His warmth, his smile, his kindness. Everything Phoenix had shown him while they were stranded was now forever burned into Yoru’s mind and seeing him in this god forsaken hospital room made him realize that. He loved Phoenix. He wasn’t sure for how long or why or what made him think about this just now, but it was crystal clear in his heart that he loved Phoenix. Phoenix had sat and pretended he was perfectly fine with a bullet hole in his side all so Yoru wouldn’t panic. He pushed himself to near death just so Yoru could be at peace. And now all he could do was sit and wait. Sage said he was alright but she could’ve said that just to give him some peace of mind.
Tears continued to spill out of his eyes as he sat. He was exhausted, he felt like he hadn’t slept in days but he didn’t want to move from where he sat. He was scared that if he left, if he closed his eyes for even a second too long, Phoenix would be gone. He would suddenly disappear and Yoru would never get to properly thank him, or say any of the other things that were swirling around in his head.
Days went by and Phoenix still laid lifeless in that stupid hospital bed. Yoru hated it. He hated sitting in that room day after day waiting for Phoenix to wake up or give some kind of sign that he was going to make it out of that room. Sure he hated it, but leaving seemed more impossible than anything else at the moment. Leaving Phoenix's side was the last thing he planned to do. So he stayed.
“Yoru, oh. I didn’t uh, I didn’t expect to see you here.” Jett was lingering in the doorway, she seemed ready to dash down the hall and out of sight at any moment. Yoru tried to imagine how hard this must be for her, but then he realized they were both in the same boat. Jett loved Phoenix too, just not in the same way he did. They were best friends, and Yoru was glad Phoenix had someone who was that close to him.
“Yeah uhm..I haven’t left.” Yoru shrugged, picking at his fingers and flitting his eyes around the room. There was a really awkward air between them and Yoru wasn’t sure why.
“Oh,” She nodded a bit and sat down on the end of Phoenix’s bet, putting a gentle hand over Phoenix’s.
“So uh, what- what”
“What happened?” Yoru chuckled. She nodded guiltily, her eyes only meeting his for a brief second.
“Honestly, I don’t know.” He sighed. “One minute were were stuck, the next Phoenix’s was dragging me away from the explosion radius of the spike. He uhm, the whole time he seemed fine, or most of it at least. He just- I don’t know,” Yoru pinched the bridge of his nose. He had run over every memory he had from being stranded hundreds of times at this point and couldn’t figure out why he didn’t notice. “I feel horrible though. The whole time he was worried about me. I mean sure I had a hole in my leg but he was shot in the abdomen, I can’t imagine the kind of pain he was in-“ Yoru cut himself off, warding off more tears. He had cried enough at this point and wasn’t sure if he could cry any more.
“I didn’t realize he just- he just didn’t do anything.” She breathed, looking over Phoenix’s still face with pain in her eyes.
“He saved my life Jett. I really just…I hope he wakes up. I’ve been such a dick to him in that past and I feel horrible. I don’t want things to end like this.” Yoru sighed, dragging a hand down his face.
“I’m not going anywhere mate,” Phoenix’s voice was hoarse and he had a small smile splayed across his lips.
“Oh thank god!” Jett cried, wrapping her arms around him.
“Hey, wind girl.” He patted her back, smiling fondly.
“You idiot you almost got yourself killed!” Jett barked, wiping a few stray tears from her cheeks.
“I’m alright I’m alright. Really, Jett. I will be fine.” He grinned. Yoru just watched, more relieved than anything. But he figured it was best to let Jett have a moment. She hadn’t spoken to him in much longer than he had.
“I know I was just really worried.” She sighed.
“I know, I’m sorry. But things are going to be fine now. Everything will be back to normal in no time.” Phoenix smiled.
Yoru just smiled, a small laugh leaving his lips. Phoenix was always reassuring, he put everyone else before himself, even when he was the one in the hospital bed.
“You alright, Yoru?” Phoenix’s gaze was suddenly burning his skin. Yoru thought he wanted nothing more than to stare into Phoenix’s eyes for ages, but now he felt nervous, scared almost.
“I- yeah. I’m fine.” Yoru said quickly. He felt out of place, he should probably leave.
“You don’t look too fine man,” Phoenix’s brow furrowed in worry.
“You are the one in the hospital bed, not me. You don’t have to worry about me.” Yoru shook his head.
“You should be in bed. Sage hates that you’ve been sitting here for so long,” Jett muttered. She got up, stretching her back.
Phoenix looked even more confused. “I’ve gotta go find Neon, I told her I would make her some spicy food from my hometown.” Jett winked at Yoru before she sped out the door. Yoru internally cursed her for knowing too much.
“Yoru how long have you been sitting here?” Phoenix asked, he shifted, wincing a bit as he sat up.
“Don’t strain yourself, idiot you got shot.” Yoru scolded.
“Yeah, so did you,”
“There’s a difference-“ Yoru sighed, “Look, I don’t know how long I’ve been sitting here. I woke up a while ago and Sage told me you got shot and just didn’t tell me?” Yoru’s tone was angry, hell he was angry. “We were stranded on and island together and you were more worried about me than yourself. I mean i can’t even imagine how much pain you must have been in and it’s my fault because-“
“Woah, Yoru slow down, how is it your fault? You didn’t shoot me, you couldn’t have known. I didn’t want to freak you out. There was enough going on.” Phoenix shrugged.
Yoru sighed angrily, he was too tired to argue with Phoenix and there were so many other things he wanted to say.
“I’m just upset you lied! I feel horrible that you had to deal with that yourself Phoenix!” Tears began to brim Yoru’s eyes as he spoke.
“You were in really bad condition, bruv. I don’t even think you could have helped if I told you. Besides, I am alright aren’t I? I’m here right now, alive and breathing.” Yoru’s tone was harsh but Phoenix’s tone was harsher.
I love you but you’re suck a fucking idiot Yoru ran a hand through his hair trying to collect his scattered thoughts.
“Thank you, though, for saving my life. I know we were not always close or whatever but I would have died if it weren’t for you,” Yoru said, his face still slightly puffy from crying so much over the last few days.
“There’s no need to thank me mate. Really.” Phoenix smiled.
“So…what now?” Yoru sighed, shifting in his chair.
“You need to go get some rest. Seriously. You look like you haven’t slept in days.” Phoenix said. Phoenix had the urge to reach out and brush a stray tear off of Yoru’s cheek but he was too far away, like always Yoru was too far out of his reach.
“I….” Yoru wanted to protest but he didn’t want to sound desperate, he didn’t want to seem clingy.
“I’m not going anywhere, Yoru. I will be right here when you wake up. I doubt Sage is going to let me leave for a while.” Phoenix smiled.
Yoru nodded, he stood up a slight pain in his leg but it was exponentially less than it had been in the past few days.
“I will let sage know you’re awake,” Yoru muttered before leaving the room.
He spoke to sage and she said that he could go back to his room if he wished. His room was dark, and cold. Quite a contrast to the warmth of Phoenix’s eyes and the brightness of his smile. Yoru wanted to go back there, to stress how much he cared for Phoenix but he knew Phoenix would only tell him to get some sleep if he went back.
Falling asleep was easier than he had expected. He stayed asleep for probably close to twelve hours, he had no idea what time of day it was when he woke up but staying in his room was not what he wanted to do.
He wandered back down to the hospital wing and walked quietly into Phoenix’s room, the bed was empty and Sage was talking quietly with Jett.
“What- where- where did he-“ the look on Yoru’s face was borderline desperate but they all knew he was just deeply worried about Phoenix.
“Cypher and Omen took him down to his room only thirty minutes ago.” Sage smiled warmly at him.
“Oh, okay, uh..thanks.” He smiled weakly at them both and Jett gave him a warm smile before he quickly walked off towards Phoenix’s dorm.
Phoenix, being one of the earlier members of Valorant, had his dorm on the first floor, which meant there was always people walking past the hallway entrance. Yoru felt uncomfortable standing outside of Phoenix’s door, debating whether or not to knock.
Yoru finally knocked, holding his breath as he did so. “Cypher man, I told you I’m all good!” Phoenix was smiling brightly as he opened the door but his face dropped when he realized it was definitely not Cypher outside his door.
“Oh, Yoru. Hey.” Phoenix looked slightly surprised to see him standing there.
“Sorry to just uh, show up but I wanted to just check in I guess. I’m glad you’re doing better,” Yoru avoided Phoenix’s burning gaze.
“Oh, yeah thanks. I am glad to see you on your feet. You seem better.” Phoenix smiled at him. He felt like Yoru was trying to say something but didn’t know how. Phoenix felt like he couldn’t breathe with Yoru standing there. He had a feeling Yoru was going to show up eventually. He just wasn’t sure what he was going to do when he did so. Phoenix had hated seeing Yoru in so much pain before. It was awful, but now they were both okay and they could barely look each other in the eye.
Yoru expected things to stay as they were. Phoenix would have a pretty awkward relationship with him but things would be civil, and they would consider each other friends. He thought he had Phoenix figured out, in his mind he knew Phoenix pretty well. He was kind and friendly because he had a rough upbringing and a shitty time in his single year of college before the end of the world happened and they were all thrown into Valorant.
He was kind of right. But there was a lot about Phoenix he didn’t know. And slowly as the weeks after their incident drifted by, they got closer. Phoenix had this soft side to him that he was sure only a few people knew about. And slowly, Yoru let Phoenix get to know him. Yoru hadn’t gotten close with someone like he had with Phoenix in a really long time, and he would admit it was nice to have friends again.
Jett and Neon also would spend time with them. They would have movie nights or share signature dishes from their respective cultures. But Yoru’s favorite thing by far was when it was just him and Phoenix whether they would train, or watch a movie, or they would just sit and talk. But Yoru enjoyed the quiet side of Phoenix who would just sit and smile while they would talk about whatever they wanted.
“Hey rift walker,” The phrase rolls casually off of Phoenix’s tongue as Yoru pushed open the door to Phoenix’s room.
“Hey,” Yorui sighs, beginning to limp into the room.
“You have PT?” Phoenix asks, getting up and helping him sit on the couch in the corner of the room.
“Yeah, that shit hurts,” Yoru mumbled, stretching out his leg.
“I’m sorry, I know it’s tough, mate. I just want you to get better, and this has obviously been helping, despite the pain.” Phoenix sighed.
“I know,” Yoru nodded. He was tired and in pain, he just needed sleep.
“C’mon I can make you some food,” Phoenix smiled brightly at him, nodding towards the kitchen. Yoru sighed and got up, letting Phoenix help him out of the room.
***
“So, we doing movie night tonight pretty boy?” Jett asked, floating into the seat beside him.
“Yeah, think so. You bringing Neon?” Phoenix asked, not taking his eyes away from whatever he was doing.
“Maybe. If she’s not too tired. She had a mission today.” Jett shrugged.
“Ah, ok. I will see if I can get Yoru to come too.” Phoenix nodded.
“When are you going to tell him?” Jett asked, standing up from the couch.
“When are you going to tell her?” Phoenix retorted.
“Touché,” Jett shrugged, bouncing into the kitchen.
“You should though. Seriously.” She pried.
“Mmm, no, wind girl. He doesn’t like me like that.” Phoenix chuckled, dryly.
“If he doesn’t like you like that, then I’m no air bender. Are you blind? Did you flash yourself too many times this month during training?” Jett laughed.
“Are you mad? Did you dash into the wall too many times this week?” Phoenix shot back with a smile.
“I only dashed into the wall once this week, thank you.” Jett huffed.
“Uh, no you didn’t. You dashed into the wall twice yesterday, Jett.” Neon sat down on the counter in the kitchen.
“Why I am not surprised.” Phoenix laughed, walking over to the kitchen, giving Neon a fist bump as he sat down.
“So, how was the mission?” Phoenix asked. Jett was ambling around the kitchen putting food on the stove.
“Good, easy. I got the most kills, again. Chamber can shove that in his stupid gun.” She said triumphantly.
“Yoru would be proud,” Jett grinned.
“Speaking of Yoru, where’s the rift walker at?” Neon asked.
“He has physical therapy,” Phoenix sighed. Jett shot Neon a look as she was walking around the kitchen.
“I am making food for everyone so that’s convenient.” Jett sighed, the pan she had on the stove flaring as she cooked.
“It smells good,” Neon smiled.
“Oh, Neon, you coming to movie night tonight?” Phoenix asked, propping his head in his hand.
“Yeah I’m down. Might fall asleep though. Had a long day.” She sighed. She did look tired. Jett gave her a sympathetic smile over her shoulder as she cooked.
“Honestly, me too. I’m exhausted.” Phoenix sighed. He glanced at the clock hanging over the wall and stood up.
“Yoru should be done soon so I am going to go get him so he doesn’t just disappear into his room for the rest of the night. I will see you guys in a bit.” Phoenix gave a half smile to the girls before walking off towards the hospital wing.
Phoenix sat outside of Sages office for a bit, just waiting. He was earlier than usual but he hadn’t seen Yoru all day.
“Hey…” Yoru muttered as he came out of Sage’s office, he was on crutches, this was not what Phoenix had expected to see today.
“Hey are you okay?” Phoenix stood up, a worried look on his face.
“I don’t know, she just said she doesn’t want me putting weight on it which makes it sound like I’m getting worse. I don't know, I thought all this shit was supposed to help,” Yoru let out a shaky sigh.
“I…I’m really sorry.” Phoenix sighed, pulling Yoru into an awkward hug, the crutches getting in the way. The look in Phoenix’s eyes was borderline angry, and seeing Phoenix angry was rare. Jett had told him pieces of incidents that had happened but he had never gotten mad in front of Yoru. And frankly it sounded terrifying. Even Viper was scared of Phoenix when he was mad, and Viper feared just about nothing.
“It’s okay, Phoenix. Really. I’m just tired.” Yoru shrugged.
“I get it. You want to go get some food? Jett’s cooking for us and I think I am going to watch a movie afterward if you want to come too.” Phoenix said as they started down the hallway.
“Yeah, Neon and Jett are coming too?” He asked.
“I think so. They are both probably going to fall asleep though. Neon’s tired and Jett could sleep for fourteen hours straight and then nap. So it will be quiet.” Phoenix smiled.
“Hi guys.” Yoru smiled at Neon and Jett as they all sat down in the kitchen.
“Hey Yoru.” Neon smiled. “Guess who spent the entire day annoying the hell out of Chamber.” Neon said pridefully. Yoru smiled and laughed. “He was so pissed, he got so tilted only half way through the game and I top fragged.” She grinned.
“Nice, that will keep him off our asses for a while.” Yoru smiled.
“Okay, enough about the French man, let's eat.” Jet laughed putting out plates on the counter.
“Jett you cookin’?” Brimstone asks as he walked into the kitchen.
“Yeah, but here’s none for you old timer,” She joked.
“Oh no, now I’m going to die because I’m too old and senile to make myself any food,” Brimstone deadpanned.
“Damn bruv,” Phoenix barked a laugh and Yoru admired his glowing features. He was a pinning idiot.
“Here old man.” Jett laughed and handed Brim a plate.
“Thanks wind girl,” Brim gave them all a smile before walking back off to his office.
The four finished eating and opted to watch a movie in Phoenix’s room since it was on the first floor, for Yoru’s sake.
They picked some animated movie that Yoru had never heard of and Jett and Neon fell asleep within the first thirty minutes. The blue light of the screen washed over Phoenix and Yoru as they watched the movie. Yoru was exhausted and still in pain from earlier. Phoenix also looked tired, but he seemed almost tense which was worrying, Phoenix’s emotions weren’t always evident in his face.
“You alright?” Yoru whispered to Phoenix, their shoulders were brushing where they sat. Phoenix’s couch was small and Jett and Neon, despite being two of the shortest people on protocol, took up eighty three percent of the couch.
“Yeah, yeah. I just feel really bad about your leg, Yoru. I feel like I should have done more when we were out there, something, anything more because now you’re in pain and on crutches and I feel like shit.” Phoenix sighed.
“Phoenix, you couldn’t have done anything, really. I got shot, the second that bullet his my leg I was fucked. I mean really. You were injured too.” Yoru sighed. He felt like the gunshot wounds they endured weren’t the worst injuries they got on that island.
“I know, I know. I just hate seeing you in pain, Yoru.” Phoenix’s eyes were glassy. The look in Phoenix’s eyes made Yoru’s heart break, he had never seen Phoenix cry and he never wanted to.
Yoru wrapped his arms around Phoenix. Yoru claimed he wasn’t fond of physical contact, but that was a blatant lie. He craved hugs, and affection but asking made him feel embarrassed, it made him feel weak.
Phoenix wrapped his arms around Yoru’s waist, holding him close to his chest.
“This isn’t your fault. Phoenix, none of this is your fault.” Yoru breathed, Phoenix radiated heat and it made him want to stay like that forever. Phoenix made no effort to move, he was comfortable, so was Yoru.
“But look at it this way, if all that shit hadn’t happened,” Yoru started, his voice still quiet, “We would have never become friends.” Yoru pointed out. He hadn’t really thought about what would have been if they had never gotten stuck on breeze and if he was being honest he didn’t want to know what would happened. He would probably be curled up in his room alone right now, sitting in the cold. Sure he would end up back in his cold room at the end of the night but at least he knew Phoenix would be around to keep him warm.
Yoru finally pulls away from Phoenix’s embrace, their eyes met briefly and Yoru saw the vanishing guilt in them, what Yoru had said had helped. He wanted nothing more to show Phoenix how much he cared, to thank him for everything he did, and he was starting to feel like he might actually be able to show Phoenix that gratitude.
Phoenix’s eyes flitted across Yoru’s face briefly before he pulled Yoru into a kiss. Yoru felt the warmth of Phoenix’s lips as they kissed, it was better than Yoru could have imagine, it was filled with love and the fire that burned in his heart, it was perfect.
“God I’m sorry I should have asked or something I-“
Yoru pulled phoenix into another kiss, his hands lacing themselves with Phoenix’s.
“I love you, Phoenix.” Yoru said, breathless from their kiss. Phoenix’s chest heaved against Yoru's, his cheeks flushed in the light of the television.
“Finally!” Jett stretched and yawned, Neon was still curled up asleep under her arm.
Yoru’s face burned as Jett got up and scooped up Neon in her arms. “God this girl is all muscle,” she huffed before walking out of the room.
Yoru covered his face his his hands, feeling Phoenix’s eyes on him. Phoenix took Yoru’s hands away from his face and kissed him gently.
“I love you too, Yoru.” He smiled warmly. Yoru smiled back and pulled Phoenix into another hug.
“What happened to hating physical affection?” Phoenix muttered. He wasn’t complaining, this behavior was just a bit out of character for him.
“I uh….I kind of lied about that….” Yoru grumbled into Phoenix’s shoulder.
“Oh?” Phoenix laughed.
“In my defense, I was in love with one of my only friends and I hadn’t had affection of any kind from anyone in a long time and I just didn’t want to feel touch starved all the time.
“Well it’s too late for that, bruv.” Phoenix grinned. Yoru mumbled something Phoenix didn’t catch.
“You’re gonna have to speak up, Yoru,” Phoenix’s voice was practically a pur in Yoru’s ear.
“I said if we are going to be together you can’t call me that shit, that’s like for your friends…” He huffed.
“Oh, you want me to call you something that isn’t for friends?” Yoru could hear the smirk in Phoenix’s voice.
“Yeah….I would,” Yoru mumbled.
“Okay baby,” Phoenix purred, Yoru’s heart jumped. “Why don’t we get some sleep though?” He hummed, his hands still securely on Yoru’s hips.
“Yeah, ‘m tired.” Yoru sighed, his head still resting on Phoenix’s shoulder.
“Okay love,” Yoru’s heart jumped again.
Phoenix picked Yoru up, carrying him over to his bed, careful of his still injured leg. Yoru curled up with his head on Phoenix’s chest, listening to the other’s heart beat.
“The worst thing that ever happened to me brought me one of the things I love most.” Phoenix whispered.
“That is?” Yoru’s voice was blurry with impending unconsciousness.
“You,”