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One month before her twin brothers wedding, Mabel made the brave request of asking if she could bring her shiny new boyfriend as a plus one.
'Nope, nuh uh, not happening,' Pacifica replied flatly, sitting across from her at the kitchen table. 'You can't ask for a plus one four weeks before the wedding, that's absurd. Do you have any idea how long it took me to sort out the seating so that our families don't kill each other?'
Mabel placed her hands together in a pleading manner. 'Cm'oooon, do it for your future sister-in-law. You already said no to having Waddles in the wedding party!'
The blonde's right eye twitched as she tried to resist bursting into another tirade brought on from wedding stress.
'Pacifica's right, Mabel,' Dipper said, patting his fiancée's shoulder in an attempt to calm her down. 'I mean, you've only gone on two dates with this guy, right?'
'Two wonderful dates,' Mabel cut in, grinning ear to ear. 'Seriously, I think another wedding might not be too far on the horizon.'
'Oh please,' Pacifica muttered.
'Pleeeeease,' the brunette begged, staring at the couple with wide eyes. 'I really think this guy might be the one, and this way I can introduce him to everyone! Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford hardly ever come home, I don't know when we'll see them again.'
'What's his name?' Dipper asked.
'Boris.'
The couple made instant faces. God no.
'Cm'on, cm'on,' Mabel bounced up and down on the spot, brimming with an energy Dipper couldn't fathom at 8am in the morning.
'Fine,' Pacifica said abruptly.
Dipper glanced at her in surprise. 'Wait, really?'
His fiancée sighed, rubbing her eyelids as she gave a resigned nod. 'If it gets her off my back then yes, just leave me alone oh my god.' The poor girl was running on limited sleep as she tried to juggle preparing everything for the wedding. She'd already had two break downs this week, she didn't need a third.
Mabel squealed in delight, wrapping the two up in a tight embrace. 'Thank you, thank you! I'll get you the best wedding gift ever!!' The girl gasped, suddenly pulling away. 'I'm going to need so much yarn and the shop closes at noon. Alright, I'm off!!'
The blonde snapped her head around as Mabel ran away. 'Hey, don't go giving us stuff not on the register! Do you hear me!? Mabel!'
But it was too late, the girl was long gone as she vanished through their front door.
Dipper stared after her. 'How did she even get in our house?'
So her request was accepted, and she earned herself a plus one.
Great!
―Except then she and Boris broke up two days before the wedding. Urgh.
She'd not only twisted Pacifica's arm to grant her a plus one to begin with but she'd hyped him up to a lot to her friends and family. Everyone was expecting to meet a total hunk by her side at the wedding.
This was gonna be so embarrassing.
...Unless.
So she posted an ad for a date on Craigslist. Not exactly ideal but hey, she’d had lower moments in her life. (And we would not talk further on that).
She really should have set up with a fake email account though, the first three responses that came through all had phallic pictures attached. Gross.
Though in retrospect, the kind of guy who responded to a strangers date request with less than 48 hours notice on Craigslist wasn’t going to be perfect.
Which was why, when she received a response that wasn’t immediately offensive, creepy or perverted she wondered if it was a scam.
Mabel agreed to meet the guy in a public area the next day, slightly nervous as she waited at the back of a coffee shop. She hadn’t really done anything like this before.
Her “date” appeared shortly thereafter, and as he approached her table Mabel found herseslf staring in awe.
Whoah, he really was handsome.
She’d figured the photos were photoshopped or at the very least had some filter on. But nope, he really did look like that. Wearing skinny dark jeans, they hugged and accentuated every curve in a way she very much liked. He wore a dark yellow sweater with a white undershirt that matched his honey-like eyes, and Mabel found herself gawking up at him rather obviously.
He was perfect.
Coming to a stand before her table, he smiled as her heart did flips flops. ‘You look like a dead fish.’
—Wait, what?
‘H-Huh?’
‘You’re Shooting Star, right?’ he went on, referring to her online screen name. Technically she was xShooting_Star5897011x after it had refused her first ten username ideas but she wouldn’t argue pedantics.
‘Um, yes?’
‘You know you have glitter in your hair, right?’ he asked, dropping into the chair opposite.
She blinked, raising a hand to her head. She let out a small laugh. ‘Oh yeah, I was finishing off my wedding present last night and it got a little messy.’ He didn’t seem to share her amusement, rather he was regarding her warily. Mabel decided to ignore that as she leaned forward. ‘So anyway, let’s talk business. I need a wedding date.’
‘And I need cash.’
‘Yeah, about that.... how much are you looking for exactly?’ she asked nervously, she wasn’t exactly made of money.
‘Hmmm, depends how charming you want me to be,’ he replied with a smile, folding his arms upon the table as he leaned in as well. Ooh, they were close. She could make out the freckles on his cheeks from here. ‘I also expect to be reimbursed for any travel, food and accommodation costs.’
‘Oh don’t worry, I’ll sort that out. It’s just the money on top where I’m on a bit of a budget. I don’t suppose you’ll accept twenty knitted scarves instead?’
His smile faded. ‘Eight hundred.’
Mabel’s eyes bulged out of her head.
‘That covers a full day. I’ll do pleasant small talk with the guests, compliment the bride, dance for three songs, and sweet talk you in front of your friends and family.’
‘Uh...’ Mabel laughed nervously. Hoo boy. ‘What can I get for three hundred?’
Her companion’s face darkened. ‘That’s it?’
‘That’s everything I have,’ she protested. She’d spent all her money on yarn and the next Sev'ral Timez concert tickets. Darn it.
He regarded her for a moment before releasing an annoyed sigh and standing. ‘Urgh, forget this.’
‘Wait, wait, don’t go!’ she cried, jumping up to rush around and block his exit. She stared up at him with imploring eyes. ‘Please do this for me, it’ll be so embarrassing if I turn up without a date! Look, I can give you four hundred if you accept two hundred now and let me pay you the rest later?’
He arched an eyebrow. ‘And how do I know you won’t bail on the rest?’
Mabel faltered at that. ‘Um...’ A second later, she perked up. ‘I know!’ Grabbing her tote bag, she began rifling through it frantically, pulling out three balls of glittery yarn, a pair of knitting needles, and two half finished scarves. By the end of it, the guy looked disturbed at the assortment of items coming from within it.
‘Aha!’ Finally grabbing her wallet, Mabel pulled out her licence and handed it towards him. ‘Here, if I scam you then you have my full name and address so you can just come find me for the rest.’
The blond stared down at the licence in his hands silently for a few moments before raising his head. ‘Do you hand out your private information to every stranger you meet on the internet?
‘Pssht, of course not. Just the hot ones.’ Wink.
He rolled his eyes, before glancing aside and appearing to consider. Running a hand through his hair, his untidy hairstyle became shaggy and unkempt from his actions. Oof.
Eventually, after several moments of deliberation he exhaled. ‘Okay, fine.’ Holding out a hand towards her, he gave a smirk.
She grinned, taking his hand in hers. ‘You’ll do it?’
A nod. ‘Name’s Bill Cipher, by the way.’ He squeezed her hand and her heart skipped a beat as he leaned closer. ‘And you got yourself a deal, Shooting Star.’
The actual day of the wedding she had to drop him off with the crowd since she was technically a bridesmaid and had other duties to attend to pre-ceremony.
He seemed fine however when she left him with her uncles after a short introduction.
'So you're Boris, huh?' Stanley asked, eyeing him with intense scrutiny. So this was the guy dating his favourite great-neice.
'Urgh, call me Bill. Boris is a god-awful name.'
The ceremony itself went off without a hitch and Mabel may have shed a tear or two whilst her brother read his vows. The venue was a Victorian-style mansion with the ceremony itself conducted outdoors in the expansive gardens to the rear. After the ceremony they were all invited inside for drinks.
There she caught up with her date who was speaking with Stanford.
‘What the hell do you mean my calculations are wrong!?’ her uncle growled, face red with anger.
Bill blinked back at him. ‘I mean it’s totally incorrect. You actually published findings based on that kind of loony idea? Oof, gonna be embarrassing to rescind that.’
‘Why you little-’
Bill’s eyes caught her and he grinned. ‘Heyyy, here’s my lovely date.’ Mabel drew closer with a hesitant smile, casting her uncle a concerned look as he grumbled and adjusted his bow tie. 'Um, hi, what’s going on?’
‘We were just chatting,’ her uncle replied stiffly.
‘Yeah, I was telling him how bad he was at maths.'
Stanford shot him a glare. If looks could kill.
‘Mabel!’ Stanley yelled, suddenly appearing between the couple as he threw his arms around the pair. The smell of whiskey enveloped Mabel’s senses as her nose scrunched up on reflex. Really? The bar had only been open for fifteen minutes!
‘I like this fella he's funny,’ Stanley said with a laugh. Clearly he was enjoying his twin being riled up.
‘Stanley, stop it.’
‘Cmon Ford, let’s get you a drink to calm down!’
Mabel watched as her uncles both walked away, before returning her attention towards her date. He met her gaze. ‘Yes?’
She paused before offering a smile. ‘Wanna come talk to the bride and groom with me?’
‘Nah.’
Her smile fell. ‘No?’
‘I’m gonna hit the bar instead. Ciao.’ He then brushed past her without a further word and walked away. Mabel frowned. Then again, she had paid for the Economy Package after all, hadn’t she?
It stung a little less being able to watch him walk away, her eyes drifting to his pants which accentuated his round butt.
Nice.
Within a few hours he’d managed to offend or insult several of her close friends and family.
'That brat said my published theory was wrong!’ Stanford snapped, face red with anger and a few drinks. ‘It’s not wrong!’ A pause, and his expression slowly became unsure. ‘I’m sure it’s not. It can’t be... can it? Someone get me a whiteboard and pen!'
‘The bastard stole my whiskey,’ Stanford growled.
‘Your date said Pacifica could do better than me,’ Dipper complained. He knew that but he didn’t want to hear it on his wedding day!
‘He made vile accusations about my marriage and livlihood I dare not repeat,' Preston Northwest, father of the bride, muttered. (Mabel didn't actually care much about that one, Pacifica's parents were dicks and had it coming).
Grenda only grinned. ‘Your hot date stared at me and said “Jesus Christ”. You tell him I'm already a taken woman.'
Her date was becoming a problem.
Later that afternoon Mabel found him outside seated on a bench looking over the gardens. Approaching the blond from behind, she gave him a soft slap on the shoulder. ‘Hey!’
He turned his head, catching her with the corner of his gaze as he raised a glass of something alcoholic. ‘Oh hey, Shooting Star.’
Striding around to stand before him with hands on her hips, she huffed. ‘How much have you had to drink?’
‘It’s a free bar.’
‘That’s not what I asked.’
‘Relax,’ he replied, standing to his full height before her. ‘Unlike your uncle, I can handle my liquor.’
‘Urgh, why are you being so mean?’ she asked, dropping her arms by her side. The rose tinted glasses had long since become clouded from his behaviour throughout the day.
He blinked. ‘You paid for this.’
‘No,’ she retorted, jabbing a finger at his chest. ‘I paid for a date. And a date normally wants to make sure you're having a good time.’
He stared at her, saying nothing as he took another sip from his glass.
So after some consideration, Mabel sighed. ‘You know what, you can go home.’
That earned a reaction for him, his expression shifting instantly. ‘What?’
‘You can leave. It’s only half way through the day so let’s call it here so I don’t owe you any more.’
Mabel turned to walk away but found herself stopped by his hand around her wrist. ‘Wait!’
When she glanced back, she was caught off guard by the look of panic on his face though he quickly tried to hide it a second later. Forcing a grin, he laughed. ‘Cm’on now, let’s not act hasty. We have the rest of the evening to enjoy.’
Mabel regarded him warily, tugging her wrist free. ‘I don’t get it, you didn’t even want to do this job in the first place. Why are you so desperate to stay?’
He faltered, saying nothing.
‘Good dates are honest,’ she pointed out, folding her arms.
His facade dropped completely, and he averted his gaze whilst looking uncomfortable. Eventually, he sighed. ‘Look, kid,’ he said, voice defeated. ‘I find myself in a... situation.’
Her eyes narrowed.
‘A situation where I’m in rather desperate need of cash. I need that extra two hundred from you so do me a favour and let me stay the rest of the evening.’
‘What, are you like in debt to loan sharks or something?’
‘I can handle loan sharks,’ he replied with a chuckle, eyes flashing. ‘It’s the American healthcare system I find myself struggling with.’
Ah. ‘What happened?’
‘A car crash.’
Her eyes widened. ‘Oh god, are you okay?’
‘Not me, my father,’ he corrected. ‘And as much as I hate the bastard and would love to see him drop dead, I do find myself currently indebted to him and stuck helping him out. I always repay my dues.’
Oh. That was… really sweet actually. It made her see him in a new light.
He was clearly uncomfortable revealing this information from the way he continued to fidget on the spot and mess with his hair. Eventually his gaze wandered in her direction, his face souring when he noted her stare. ‘Don’t look at me like that, I don’t need your pity.’
‘I’m not pitying you,’ she replied, expression softening. ‘I find it really nice.’
‘I'm not nice,’ he spat. ‘You were right before, I am mean. Even if I do happen to have a somewhat good reason for wanting money, it doesn’t have anything to do with me being a dick. I act that way because I enjoy it. I love annoying people. It's fun.’
‘Because you’re unhappy, so you feel you have to make others feel the same way or else it’s unfair,’ she replied, nodding knowlingly.
‘Urgh, don’t try and psychoanalyse me,’ he growled.
Mabel gazed at him. ‘I won’t let you stay if you act mean.’ Even if he did need the money for his sick father, it wasn't fair to Dipper or Pacifica to ruin their special day.
He nodded. ‘I know, I’ll act nice. Pinky promise.'
‘If you say one mean thing, the deal’s off. And I want two dances.’
He narrowed his gaze. ‘One.’
‘One and a half.’
He clenched his jaw as he took her hand, tugging her a step closer to regard her closely. Gulp. ‘Fine, you got yourself a deal.’
True to his word, Bill behaved for the rest of the evening although him acting nice ended up with him saying very little if nothing at all.
She did force him to apologise to all those he’d insulted (except for the Northwests'). Mabel could tell how much it pained him to stay quiet whilst Stanford boastfully declared how he’d known he was right all along.
After the cake cutting and wedded couple’s first dance, others began to wander onto the dance floor. It was then a hand abruptly appeared before her, Bill standing beside her expectantly. When their gazes met, he raised an eyebrow.
‘Well?’ he asked.
She blinked. ‘Well what?’
‘You know what.’
She gave a teasing grin. ‘I want to hear you say it.’
He scowled. ‘....Will you dance with me, you brat?’
‘Hmmm,’ she pondered as if considering it for a moment, and noticed the way his gaze darkened. She could annoy people too. Just before he was about to snap, she grabbed his hand. ‘Okay, let’s go.’ Yanking him onto the dance floor, she shot him a playful smile.
Her smile wavered however as they fell into step, one of his hands wrapping around to press against the small of her back as the other held her hand tightly in his. She could smell his cologne from this proximity, and resisted the urge to take a huge sniff. That would be too creepy.
When he reached out a hand to touch her hair, she swallowed thickly, stomach churning in response.
And then he spoke―
‘Do you seriously still have craft glitter in your hair?’
‘Huh? Oh, probably.'
He stared at her, returning his hand around her back. ‘Do you even shower?’
‘Of course I do,’ she protested. ‘This is from a different project than yesterday.’ She couldn't help it, glitter got everywhere.
‘Hm.’ He regarded her, pulling her into a spin that made her heart skitter. As she returned to the sanctuary of his arms, he asked: ‘So tell me, why didn’t it work with you and your boyfriend?’
Her smile dropped, some of her happiness dampening at the thought of her former boyfriend. ‘You mean Boris?’
‘I’m not saying his name, it’s stupid.’
She frowned, demeanour subdued. The music drifted into another song as she replied quietly. ‘He’s a cheating jerk so I dumped him.’
‘Oof.’
She huffed. ‘He’s an ass but I talked him up a lot unfortunately. I didn’t want to come to the wedding alone or else everyone would find out what happened and be giving me pity looks all night, urgh.’ It was hard being the only single one in her group of friends.
‘Eh, don’t worry, there are plenty of fish in the sea. I’m sure some guys will find you cute.’
She raised an eyebrow. ‘Do you?’
He opened his mouth to reply, then paused, an odd look entering his eyes. After a moment he graced her with a wry smile instead as he leaned closer, their noses scant inches apart. Her heart pounded.
‘Gotta pay me extra to unlock that answer, Shooting Star.’
She pouted as he pulled away with a chuckle. As another song began, she noted they were beyond the one and a half song mark as agreed. But he wasn’t making any move to pull away, rather he seemed to be smiling as he danced with her in a way she could almost interpret as him having fun.
‘You know, my best friend Grenda is also getting married soon,’ Mabel began casually, cheeks flushed. ‘I don’t suppose you’d be up for me hiring you again? You know, if you're available...'
‘Is that the girl with biceps the size of my skull?’
‘Yep, that’s the one!’
‘Sure, just don’t go falling for me by the end of our dates.’
Mabel laughed nervously beneath his warm smile. Might be a little late for that, curse her easily swayed heart.
Their third song came to an end and Bill smirked as he turned and pulled her along by the hand, the party now in full swing with music, drinks and laughter.
‘Cm’on, let’s go drink too much and send suggestive pics to your ex to make him pissed off.’
‘Ooh, I like that idea!’ And not just because it gave her an excuse to press up against him.
She better start saving up for their next “date”.