Work Text:
Somber
"You look somber" by brother said. "You good?" I shrugged it off with a raised eyebrow, a huffed laugh, and a congragulatory "Good word." ...Somber. It's funny really. Aren't I always somber? It's hard to feel much of anything these days, but when I do, somber seems to fit the bill pretty well. Hours of apathy, with a bubble of pleasure or a speck of sadness every now and then - just to shake things up. I must be pretty good at hiding my heart if he just noticed now - either that or I just spend too much time holed up in my bedroom. My life has been like this for months, if not years. Or has it? I can't remember, but it's certainly long enough to feel familiar on the occasion that I acknowledge it (usually when it changes for a bit). I'm rarely hungry anymore, but I eat when I'm not - partially out of obligation, partially out of boredom, and partially because it's… comforting, I guess? I have trouble falling asleep, trouble waking up, and the things I uses to love oftentimes feel like a chore. My mood is muted yet swings around like a rollercoaster before ceasing to exist at all. Perpetual exhaustion has sunk into my bones, regardless of how much sleep I get, and life is dull. Somber… that's one way to describe it. Maybe someday, that will be all it is.