Chapter Text
And hurt is on the pleasure wheel
But you can't hurt if you can't feel
And you can feel
There's something to learn
And you've got time to burn
Time to burn
Time to burn - Ronnie James Dio
He knew it wouldn’t been easy. Fuck it was nearly obvious, even if the police had cleared his name and he had been proclaimed innocent, ladies and gentlemen, there were still a fuckload of people that thought him a serial killer.
Or, to use Venom’s words, “In league with Satan”.
Great band, great song. Shitty situation.
Especially because his uncle had left, thought him dead and found a small place in another town, and he really didn’t want to burden him. Didn’t really want him to know he was still alive, honestly. And he didn’t even know how to reach out to him, since he had no idea whatsoever about where he was, and he was a 20 years old kid left alone in a damn trailer where he had seen a girl get killed in the most gruesome way possible, a trailer that the police had given him back just a few weeks prior, and no one would even hire him now.
He’s either a killer, or bad for business.
And now he’s in an even shittier situation because someone thought it would be a great idea to throw a fucking Molotov cocktail at his trailer.
Maybe they didn’t know he was in there, or maybe they did and didn’t care. Or, maybe, they knew and...well, fuck. The result is, anyway, that all he has now are his guitar and his backpack full of D&D notes and, thankfully, his documents and the few bucks he has scrounged up with drug deals and pawning his stuff here and there.
Half of his hair is gone, his arm is bleeding from where he has had to break a window to jump out of his trailer and his skin is fucking burning, part of his neck, left arm and left leg stinging and bleeding and fucking burning and it hurts, it hurts so much.
And no one helps him, no one comes out of their trailer to check up on him but Max and her mom with unuseful buckets of water that they end up dumping on him to stop the flames from licking at his skin, because his home is gone now, nothing left to be saved.
And Eddie is in hysterics, fuck, hurting and bleeding, and scared and so, so, so tired of everything, and he knows that running is the only thing he’s good at but he can’t even do that now, because where the fuck can you go with nothing, hm? At least someone has his back, in Hawkins.
“Eddie, it’s ok” He barely registers Max’s voice “You’re safe. Come on, we gotta get you to the E.R.”
And this registers because no, fuck no, he has no insurance, Max and Susan have no money and he’ll die before saddling them with debts because of him. But his throat won’t work, so he starts shaking his head, hard, and hisses because it hurts, and starts sobbing because he’s just so tired of hurting, you know?
There are hands on his shoulders and he flinches and jerks away ‘cause he’s scared and it hurts, there’s something wrong with his skin, it burns, it burns and won’t stop, won’t relent, and he’s just vaguely aware of crying out and begging, now, to make it stop.
Please, please make it stop.
“Eddie” He hears, and one hand is cupping his jaw and his eyes are screwed shut “Eddie, we’re here, we’ll take care of you”.
And oh, it’s Susan. Must be Susan ‘cause her hands smell like cleaning products and shitty vodka, while Max kneels in front of him and shows him her hands, slowly moving them towards his face and oh, fuck, he’s so scared.
Terrified.
And everything hurts, and his skin is still burning, but then Max tucks what’s left of the left side of his hair behind his ear and tilts her head smiling, and tells him: “Yep, still you”.
And it’s so sweet, so thoughtful, that it breaks him completely and he starts crying for real, now, ugly sobs tearing out of his inflamed throat and Max just hovers there, unsure where to to touch him because she just wants to hug him but she’s scared to hurt him more, so she just keeps on caressing his hair on the good side of his head, the one that hasn’t been touched the flames, while Susan stands up suddenly and starts waving her arms and calling, ‘cause there are blue, flashing lights everywhere and they’re surrounded by the people of the camp.
The same ones that didn’t help him before now want a piece of him, just like everyone else. A fucking classic.
Susan kisses his forehead and waves the cops closer, and Eddie lives through a terrible moment in which he thinks they’re there to arrest him, take him away, ‘cause he’s spent so long running that he doesn’t really know anything else anymore.
But the cops just nod at Susan and one of them crouches down in front of him and takes his hat off, a frown on his face.
“What happened, kid?”
He asks, and Eddie can’t stop crying, not now, so Max caresses his good arm and answers for him.
“Someone threw a fucking Molotov at his trailer” She recounts, her rage barely kept in check, and Eddie can just watch as the cop nods again, eyes moving to Max’s face.
“You saw it happen?”
He asks, and Max nods her head, Susan’s hand on her shoulder.
“From the window, we live there”
She points to the Mayfield’s home, her hands don’t even shake, not like Eddie’s. He feels like there’s an earthquake in his chest. Max looks furious, though.
“Heard the noise, then Eddie’s place was burning and he jumped out, broke a window”
The cop looks up at Susan and she nods, too, confirming everything.
“Anything else?” He questions again “Did you see anyone?”
Max shrugs.
“Just a white van, leaving”
She answers, but it looks like it’s good enough because the cops exchange a knowing glance and a couple of curses. One of them picks up his walkie and moves away from them, barking some orders.
“Thank you” The cop smiles at Max, then his eyes move to Eddie again “You need a hospital, kid”.
And Eddie would like to spit something like “No shit, captain obvious”, but all he can manage is a weak head shake and a rasped answer.
“No insurance” He pushes out of his dry lips “Can’t”
Susan’s hand is on his good arm in a second.
“I’ll take care of him” She says “I was a nurse, I can do it”
The cop doesn’t look convinced.
“Ma’am” He starts “Those burns are bad. They’re gonna scar and hurt until they heal”
And oh, burns? That’s why his skin feel so hot? Why everything hurts? Why he feels like he’s still trapped in his trailer, still burning, like flames are still trying to eat him alive?
Eddie tries to touch his face, tries to check the extent of the damage, but Max’s hands stop him, smaller fingers intertwining with his longer ones.
“Your face is ok, Eds” She reassures with a small squeeze “Don’t worry”.
Eddie looks at her and sniffles, still mute as a damn fish.
“It hurts”
He whispers and fuck, he didn’t mean to say it out loud, ‘cause Max’s face crumples and she looks close to tears now and it’s his fault, it’s his fault, it’s always his fault ‘cause he’s the freak and…
“Eddie!” He hears, and Max’s hands are cupping his face “Eddie, calm down ok? Breathe with me, you’re safe. It’s alright”.
Was he hyperventilating? Fuck he didn’t even notice, but now he can’t really stop just like that, can he?
“Eddie, look at me” Susan takes Max’s place, hands firmly planted on his cheeks “I know you’re scared, but you’re hurting yourself. Come on, big breaths, ok?”
And maybe she’s a miracle worker, because Eddie starts breathing again after a while and slumps sideways, the cop catching him before he falls, thankfully grabbing his good shoulder.
“The paramedics will give you everything you might need to care for him” Eddie hears, head against the cop’s uniform, and he doesn’t really like cops but he couldn’t care less, now. Also, this guy seems decent.
Susan walks away, probably to gather whatever supplies she’ll need to keep him together, and he’s left with Max and the cop guy.
“You live alone, Eddie?”
The cop asks, and Eddie tries to answers but his voice comes out broken and wrong. The man waves for Max to come closer and gives her his canteen, tells her to help him drink.
“His uncle left” She supplies as she lets him take small sips that feel like heaven in his mouth “He’s on his own”.
“Alright. Eddie?” The cop shakes him, lightly, but it’s enough to make him groan “Eddie, answer me. Can you hear me?”
Eddie swallows, opening his eyes. And fuck, all he can see are flames. He closes them again.
“Can...yes. Can hear you”.
The cop smiles.
“Good job, kid” He encourages “Did you hit your head? Anything broken?”
Eddie wets his lips and shakes his head no, blinking slowly. Max takes his hand and squeezes.
“Good. When you feel like it you’ll need to talk to me, alright?” The man keeps on, letting him rest against his uniform, right leg bent against his chest and hands shaking like crazy “We’ll find them, don’t worry”.
Worry. Worry? Eddie snorts, but still says nothing.
He doesn’t really know what he should worry about first: where is he going to live now, what’s gonna happen to him, and his uncle didn’t even have insurance on that goddamn trailer, for fuck’s sake. So now what?
What should he worry about first?
Choices, choices.
He can’t really remember when nor how Max and Susan managed to help him walk to their place. It’s all hazy and confused and painful and hot, too hot, and Susan’s hands hurt him as they wash his burns and dress them with ointments and fresh bandages, and he cries all the while like a fucking child and it’s embarrassing as hell, but he can’t just...not anymore. Alright?
He’s been through hell and back, smiling all the while. He’s been accused of having done horrible things, but he just watched them happen and it’s not better, nor good for his mental health that, let’s be honest, wasn’t really in perfect shape from the beginning.
And now everyone wants him dead or, at least, thrown somewhere he cannot get back from. Well, nearly everyone at least.
So sue him for breaking down while Susan hurts him to help him heal, ok?
He can’t, he just can’t he just doesn’t have the strength anymore. He’s scared, hurting, bleeding, alone and tired. And angry, so angry at everyone and desperate ‘cause he can’t do fucking anything and he hates it, hates everything.
He’s still out of it when he manages to fall asleep on Max’s bed, the kid sitting as close to him as humanly possible. His guitar and his backpack are sitting against the wall, where he can see them when he wakes up. And still, everything hurts.