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Winter snuck up on the Fushiguro’s before they could really anticipate it, cold weather and bare trees lining streets that were once lush and green with flora. Birds stopped chirping in the mornings and the quiet sound of crickets trilling during sunset was replaced with the ghostly howl of wind and the rattle of cheap windows in their metal frames.
Megumi became privy to the weather not through any of these things, but rather something that took up a lot more of his attention than it should have in any normal circumstance.
The child first caught onto the brief warnings of Tsumiki’s illness when he heard her coughing with a vengeance on their way back from school. The wind was just a breeze at the time and they had sweaters pulled over their heads, woollen and warm. Megumi’s cheeks were tinted with pink and Tsumiki’s eyes were glassy.
Megumi peered at her out of the corner of his eyes as she coughed while they walked, a bit worried. Tsumiki waved the worry off, spasming a bit while she wiped her mouth on her arm.
“Justa cough,” She reassured him, a smile on her face as Megumi stared for a moment before looking away. He tucked his hands into his pockets and huffed out a breath, brr-ing his lips absently.
“Take the medicines when you get home,” Megumi instructed her, mumbling out the words. Tsumiki laughed a bit and nudged him as she walked, backpack bouncing as she skipped forward.
“You’re acting like a mom ~!” She sing-songed, Megumi grumbling as he ran to catch up.
“Am not!” He insisted, tripping over his feet and stumbling forward momentarily. Tsumiki paused at the crosswalk and waited for him to catch up before linking their hands once he was in reach. The two waited a moment before walking across the road, Megumi swinging their hands absently.
“It’s okay that you act like a mom,” Tsumiki said, the words feeling like teasing to Megumi, though he didn't interrupt. “I think it's nice.”
“I don’t wanna be a mom,” He huffed. “I’m Megumi.” Tsumiki nodded as he unlinked their hands to hook their elbows together, tucking his hand into his pocket once more. “Cold.”
“That’s ‘cause it’s winter, stupid,” Tsumiki said bluntly. Megumi pushed her a little.
“I know that! It’s still cold,” Megumi insisted. The two rounded a corner and Megumi fished the keys to the home out of his pocket, unlocking the door and walking in with his sister.
The home was empty, with no parents at the door to greet them on their way home, but this had been the norm for a few months and Megumi was slowly starting to get used to the constant sting of abandonment.
It had been a messy situation altogether, one that was still ongoing, if Megumi was guessing correctly. Satoru, the man who had informed the two of them of everything when his father and Tsumiki’s mother first left, had tried to hide the severity of the situation from him at first, but Megumi could feel the underlying tension just in his presence. Whether it was too loud laughs or a little bit too much eagerness for the man to distract the two of them from their circumstances, it wasn't easy for Megumi to ignore the negativity.
In the end, the two of them had been left in a small home nearby a school that Satoru said he had been going to. The man had popped in now and then with takeout over the past few weeks and Megumi had quietly been looking forward to the man’s presence, even though the breaks in his routine were something that made Megumi feel more anxious than anything.
On other days, Tsumiki and Megumi would try their best to make dinner with the groceries dropped off by Satoru and another man, blond with a stoic face who’d be sent on errands for the two of them. More often than not, Megumi would try and make noodles while Tsumiki would mess with the rice cooker and they’d go from there. Their meals were decent, but Megumi quietly thought that they weren’t the same as his father’s and he missed that aspect, at least.
He knew that his father wasn’t very good. Otherwise, the man wouldn’t have left in the first place, but Megumi couldn’t reconcile that with the image of his father that he had built, idealized and parental in his mind.
Megumi missed his father, but he didn’t miss Toji.
The child left his backpack by the door, his coat hung up in a closet and Tsumiki already wandering inside her room. Megumi watched her go before he ran to the kitchen, pulling cough syrup out of one of the drawers and following after her.
The child was sitting on her bed by the time he caught up, wrapped in her blanket with her backpack resting at the foot of her bed. A teddy bear was strewn aside, on the floor in the darkroom. Megumi frowned, putting the cough syrup on the side table before opening the curtains and flooding the room in the dim, gray light.
“I’m fine, you’re just being dumb,” Tsumiki insisted, coughing into her arm under her comforter. Megumi looked at her with something of a deadpan expression. He walked back over and unscrewed the lid of the bottle, struggling to get past the child safety precaution for a moment.
He poured a dose into the small plastic cup that came with the bottle and handed it to his sister carefully, who took it with a bit of an exasperated sigh and downed the cup. Her face soured and she gagged, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.
“Gross!” She complained. Megumi ignored her protests, taking the cup and the bottle and patting her leg through the comforter.
“Feel better soon,” He said.
“I’m not even sick!” She insisted, crossing her arms. Megumi rolled his eyes.
“Well, then you’ll be extra not-sick, stupid,” He said matter-of-factly. Tsumiki stuck her tongue out at him.
“That’s not how that works,” She argued.
“It is so. Would medicine make you extra sick when you’re sick? No, so obviously if you take some when you’re not sick then you won’t get worse, you’ll just get better!” Megumi explained loudly. Tsumiki sputtered for a moment.
“Well, your hair looks dumb.” Megumi screwed up his face.
“Your face looks dumb.”
“You’re dumb!” She cried out. Megumi stuck his tongue out at her.
“Well, you’re sick, so there,” He said, satisfied, leaving the room and ignoring her shout of, ‘ I’m not sick!’ as he left.
Dinner was a whole new problem for Megumi to try and deal with. Between his and Tsumiki’s parents leaving till now, he hadn’t had to make meals on his own before. Most of the time, Tsumiki would be doing a lot of the legwork while he helped her get the ingredients she needed for whatever she was trying to make. It was a simple routine, most nights figuring out how to cook themselves simple meals like onigirazu and miso soup. It was easy enough if they avoided proteins, but now and then, Tsumiki would try and cook the meat through. She was successful, if shown by the fact that they hadn’t died of food poisoning yet.
A quick look through the pantry with a stool to help showed that there were no more packs of noodles left for him to microwave or just pour kettle water over. He chewed on his lip as he stood at the head of the kitchen, tapping his foot with his arms crossed. The child thought before he moved, grabbing the rice cooker and setting it up on the counter, plugged in and all.
“I don’t know how much rice to put…” Megumi whispered to himself before opening the rice bag under the counter, squatting on the floor with the metal bowl on the inside of the rice cooker next to him. He put in two handfuls of rice before standing up, somewhat hesitant, and putting the large bag away.
He filled the bowl with water and put it back in the rice cooker, turning it on and leaving it in the corner of the counter for him to cook while he worked on the rest of the food. Megumi dug through the fridge before he found pre-packaged meat, a quiet exclamation mumbled under his breath.
After about half an hour, the rice was done and he had cut the meat into cubes, finding some soy sauce and figuring that would be about enough to make sure neither of them would be too hungry for dinner.
Megumi clambered onto a stool and he opened the rice cooker, scooping out the rice into one of the two bowls that he had set up with a spoon.
“Oh,” Megumi mumbled. There wasn’t enough rice for two bowls, just barely enough for one. He felt his eyes burn in frustration but he ignored the oncoming tears to mix in the meat and some soy sauce, adding sesame seeds into the bowl as well. It wasn’t as pretty as the meals that Tsumiki usually made and it was nowhere near as nice as his father’s, but it was something,
Megumi filled a cup with water and put the bowl and cup on a tray before bringing them inside, walking slowly as he watched the water shake in the glass. His eyes stayed fixed on it, trying not to let himself lose balance and break anything somehow. That was the last thing he wanted to do.
The child made it to Tsumiki’s room, eventually, setting down the tray on the ground momentarily to open the door.
The room was dark, lights off, but he could see Tsumiki propped up against her headboard, a small pile of tissues next to her. Megumi turned on the lights almost immediately, ignoring the wince from his sister at the action. He picked up the tray and brought it over to her nightside table, carefully sliding it on top of the wooden furniture.
She tipped her head to look at him with glassy eyes, cheeks reddened and forehead sweaty. She sniffled and Megumi handed her the cup of water quietly.
“I told you you were sick,” He mumbled. Tsumiki stuck her tongue out at him but there was no heat behind it, taking a sip of the water before her eyes widened slightly, gulping down more in an instant.
Megumi stepped back, looking around the room before he left for a moment, finding a plastic bag before returning. He picked up trash around the floor, shoving it in the gray bag before he carefully swept the pile of tissues on Tsumiki’s bed into the bag as well. He left it on the ground next to the bed and patted her arm to get her attention.
“There’s a bag for all your tissues over here,” He informed her. Tsumiki smiled, a small thing before she patted his head.
“You’re so sweet, Gumi. Thank you,” She said, coughing into her arm a moment afterwards, taking away Megumi’s chance to protest the compliment and the nickname. He instead passed her the bowl of rice.
Tsumiki looked at it before her face screwed up a bit and she looked up at him, almost desperate.
“Do I have to?” She asked, despite being two years older than him. Megumi nodded, though he felt bad about it.
“Justa little. So you won’t be hungry. ‘S just rice and meat, anyway. I dunno how to make the other stuff,” Megumi said, though his voice went a bit quiet at the end. He cleared his throat. “You hafa get better soon, ‘cause I don’t think we’re gonna live on my cooking forever.”
Tsumiki giggled at the joke, which made Megumi smile in turn. He stepped back once she ate a spoonful of his meal. She didn’t immediately feel sick, thankfully, and she tipped her head to the side before giving him a thumbs up.
“Good for your first try on your own, Gumi!” She told him, grinning. Megumi kicked the ground lazily, waving away her praise.
“You don’t gotta lie,” He dismissed. “D’you need anything else?” He asked. Tsumiki shook her head.
“You should go to bed, it’s getting late,” She scolded lightly. “I’ll leave my dishes here and put them away in the morning, promise. Don’t worry bout me too much.”
Megumi felt anxious about it, but he nodded slowly, hands clasped behind his back as he rocked on his heels. “If you’re sure,” He mumbled. Tsumiki seemed to have sensed his reluctance, giving him a small reassuring smile.
“Don’t worry about me, promise. I’ll be fine, just a cold,” She told him. Megumi looked into her eyes and nodded, pulling himself together to stand a bit taller. The child nodded again before he left, closing the door behind him and huffing out a breath of air.
His stomach rumbled at that moment and Megumi was reminded of the mess in the kitchen- Well, it wasn’t that much of a mess, truthfully. Moreso just the rice cooker and an empty bowl on the counter- but the thought of it made him feel upset. Especially when reminded of the fact that he didn’t have enough rice for his own dinner.
Megumi made his way back to the kitchen, looking through cabinets and finding nothing. Eventually, though, at the back of the pantry on a shelf he could barely reach, he found a lone chewy bar. The child looked at it, then out to the living room. He felt lonelier than he had in a long time and tears burned in his eyes again. Megumi sat down on the couch in front of the TV, staring at himself on the blank screen as he unwrapped the granola bar.
His reflection stared back at him, something sad to stare at. He felt smaller, smaller than he had felt in a long time. Megumi saw nothing but himself laid out at his barest and it felt awful. Megumi felt awful. He didn’t know what brought it on but he couldn’t stand to see himself, alone and cold.
He wiped at his dry face as he chewed on the snack and after a moment turned the TV on, pretending that the voices from the speakers were people in the home with him rather than an echo of companionship he wished he had and pretending that he couldn’t see his eyes looking back into him.
When Megumi awoke, he didn’t remember where he had fallen asleep for a moment, jolting when he realized he wasn’t in bed. After a moment to recollect himself, however, the child calmed down.
The sound of retching from down the hall revitalized that anxiousness and Megumi’s eyes widened, the child got to his feet and ran, almost tripping as he rushed down the hall. He nearly slipped on his way there, throwing open the bathroom door from where it was already ajar.
Megumi was greeted with his sister slumped over the toilet, gagging and retching bile. There was already throw-up in the toilet, making Megumi cringe as he looked away to focus on his sister.
Tsumiki looked miserable. Her eyes were wet with tears and they were flooding down her face as well, coating her red cheeks with saltwater. Her hands were trembling and nearly white with how hard she was clutching onto the toilet bowl.
Megumi stepped forward hesitantly, reaching over Tsumiki to flush the toilet once for his own sake. He turned back to her, hands wavering as he didn’t know what to do. He’d never seen anyone this sick before, he didn’t know what to do.
“Do- Are you gonna throw up again?” Megumi whispered. He was afraid to be any louder, as thorough he would scare Tsumiki into sickness again. She shook her head, looking miserable with strands of hair scattered across her face and sticking to it with sweat.
Megumi looked under the sink in the bathroom, finding a small towel about the size of his face. He hesitated, considering handing it to Tsumiki before he knelt down and wiped her face himself, ignoring how gross it was to sit next to the toilet the way he was. Tsumiki moaned, out-of-it as she leaned into his hand. Megumi put his palm against her head, forehead hot against his skin.
He pulled back, unsure what to do. Megumi wished more than anything that somebody who knew what they were doing could help, someone more equipped, an adult.
“Do- Should I- Can you stand, I- You need to stand up, or I can carry you…?” Megumi stuttered, anxiety showing through his nerves.
Tsumiki groaned, rubbing at her face as more tears spilled down her face. “I can… get up…” She mumbled. The child stood, Megumi standing with her, but she stumbled and Megumi immediately wrapped his arms around her, trying not to let her fall down. Tsumiki didn’t weigh much, so he wouldn’t normally have trouble, but she was mostly dead on her feet, leaning heavily on him.
The two of them stumbled down the hallway, Megumi half-carrying Tsumiki. He helped her to her bed and Tsumiki sat on the edge for a bit. He watched her as she swayed before pulling her legs into her chest and leaning back on the headboard, head thumping against the wood. Megumi winced at the sound before he stared for a moment, gears turning in his head.
The child went outside to the living room, rummaging through their things before he found the home phone under one of the couch cushions. Megumi looked through the saved numbers and found Satoru’s number. He was about to click the call button before hesitating for a moment.
Was this something to bother Satoru about? It wasn’t like the man wasn’t busy, he was barely able to come in the days that he set aside for the two of them as-is. What if he had gotten mad at Megumi for bothering him? He didn’t want to get Satoru mad at him for no reason, nor did he want to wake him up so early in the morning for no reason.
Megumi chewed on his lip, debating his options. The child looked back to the hallway, where the dim light from the bathroom was barely visible. The image of Tsumiki, face flushed and throwing up her guts in the toilet. Megumi didn’t wait another moment to call.
The phone was pressed against his ear and he listened to the ringer, buzzing for what felt like endless amounts of time. It took a while for the ringing to cut off, and Megumi was greeted with a groggy, annoyed-sounding, “ What? ”
“Uh…” Megumi stopped for a moment, unsure what to say when greeted with such an irritable tone compared to what he knew of Satoru.
“ Why’d you call me so late? What happened? ” Satoru’s voice came again. Megumi stammered, bouncing on his heels anxiously.
“Um- I’m sorry to bother you, Satoru, I- Well, it’s not a big deal, it’s just that- that Tsumiki, um… Well she was sneezing, and-”
“ She was sneezing? Just give her some medicine for that,” Satoru interrupted, Megumi losing steam as he was shut down.
“I, well, I did, um. She had some food and then went to sleep, um…” Megumi paused, maybe for a bit too long as Satoru spoke again, more irritated at the seemingly nonsensical rambling.
“ Well, then, why did you call me? Megumi, I had a very long day and I don’t want to be bothered right now. Do you need help?” Satoru asked, voice tight with irritation, and, now that Satoru had brought it up, exhaustion. Megumi felt a wave of guilt overwhelm him, and he hated himself a little bit for bothering him in the first place, hungry and tired and insecure.
“I’m sorry, you can go back to bed, I didn’t mean to bother you, I’m really sorry,” Megumi said, all in a rush before he hung up the phone, unable to listen to whatever would have come from Satoru afterwards.
Megumi stood in the living room, staring at the phone before he threw it to the side, tears welling up in his eyes as he scrubbed at his face with the heels of his palms. He shuddered as he tried to stop himself from crying, sniffling and wiping his face as his stomach rumbled. Megumi shook his head, ignoring the tears as he stumbled to the kitchen and filled a glass with some water. The child cried as he walked through the hall and to Tsumiki’s room, and he was equal parts grateful and upset that Tsumiki was asleep when he got there.
He put the glass on the nightside table and he stopped to sit down by her bedside, crosslegged on the floor as he tried to wipe his face and quiet his crying. The child sniffled hard, grabbing at tissues from the box on the nightside table and blowing his nose, shoving the dirtied tissue in the bag he had left for Tsumiki. He wiped his face with the tissues and tried to stop his crying before shakily getting to his feet again.
Megumi grabbed the used dishes from the nightside table and carefully stacked them back on the tray, ready to bring them back to the kitchen. His grip on the tray felt a bit slippery from the tears, but he commit to the action anyway. He wasn’t going to be useless when his sister was bedridden.
He made his way down the dark hall, one foot in front of the other before he tripped, and-
The glass shattered on the floor in front of him, Megumi having fallen on the ground and his hands splayed out as he tried to catch himself. He yelped as his palm dug into a shard of glass, tears springing to his eyes again before he stared at the mess in front of him.
Megumi cried again, unable to rub his face with blood gushing from his palm to the floor, making a larger mess. He already dreaded cleaning it up, he didn’t know how to make the blood go away, he didn’t even know how he’d get past the mess of glass on the ground in front of him. He was tired and hungry and emotionally exhausted and ashamed and he wanted somebody to help him.
Megumi couldn’t do this on his own, he was barely seven and he was tired and he didn’t know how to deal with this, any of it. It hurt and he didn’t want to do anything but sit and cry.
The child didn’t hear the front door open, nor did he hear anyone walk into the home and down the hall until there was a shadow falling over his tear-stained face and he looked up to see Satoru, all messy hair and worn clothes.
Megumi stared for a moment before his crying evolved into near-hysterics, shaking and hugging his arms closer to himself, ignoring the blood and only weeping more because of the stinging wound. He heard a quiet mumble of, ‘
Oh dear,’
before Satoru was stepping over the mess and to him, lifting Megumi up in his arms. He didn’t seem to mind the blood and Megumi tucked his face into the man’s shoulder, getting snot and tears on his shirt.
Satoru said nothing, simply shushing him and patting his back with the hand not holding him up to his chest. He tried to hold back his bawling, sick of acting like a baby. Megumi didn’t want to be a baby, he wanted to be good at things and he wanted to be useful, he wanted to be more than whatever he was and he hated it.
“It’s okay, it’s okay, you’re okay,” Satoru murmured, setting him down on the counter in the kitchen as he fumbled to look for something in the drawers and cabinets. Megumi rubbed his face violently with both his hands, blood getting wiped on his face as Satoru found what he was looking for.
The look the man gave him when he saw Megumi covered with blood almost made him want to cry again, but before he could do anything, Satoru was wiping his face off with a damp towelette, hands gentle as he worked away at Megumi’s face.
He felt as though he was covered in grime, and Satoru was slowly scrubbing him of all the filth that had built up from the stress of his day. The guilt was slowly starting to come back again, for bothering Satoru and making him come over when Megumi was just being dumb.
“I’m sorry,” Megumi sniffed, voice borderline pathetic as he apologized. Satoru paused for a moment in his cleaning, wiping his hands as he put the towelette to the side.
“Hey, Gumi, why are you sorry?” Satoru asked, patting his head with one hand. Megumi pulled back, shuffling away and bumping into the cabinets behind him. He shook his head, crossing his legs.
“I woke you up for no reason, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to, I didn’t wanna bother you,” Megumi said, feeling more and more pathetic as he spoke. Satoru was silent before he sighed quietly, moving back to slap himself on the face with both hands.
“Listen, earlier, on the phone, I’m sorry for snapping at you. I was just upset and all, tired, had a long day. Excuses suck, I know, I shouldn’t have brushed you off. Are you okay? What was the matter with Tsumiki?” Megumi shook his head again, hiding his face in his arms. Satoru slowly pulled his hands away from his face.
“Can’t do that, you still got a little something,” He said, and the way he referred to it so blasely made Megumi snort a bit.
“Jus- Just a little..?” He asked. Satoru looked at Megumi before he laughed a bit.
“Well, maybe more than a little,” Satoru said, an amused smile on his lips. He picked up a fresh towelette before wiping at his face again and then continuing to his arms. He wiped until he was clean save for his clothes, which just had a few droplets near the hem. The child watched silently as Satoru threw the towelettes away and picked up the roll of bandages from the first aid kit he had pulled out.
He wrapped them around his hand and taped the ends down. Megumi flexed his fingers, wiggling them a little before he let his hand fall into his lap.
“I’m sorry,” Megumi said, unable to stop himself. Satoru frowned a little, tapping the side of his face with a hand, making Megumi drawback for a moment.
“Stop apologizing, it’s fine ,” Satoru said, the last word drawn out and sing-songy. Megumi swatted his hand away, scowling.
“I dunno why I called you, you’re annoying,” Megumi said, trying to dispel the delicate tension between the two of them from his breakdown. Satoru laughed a bit, grabbing a garbage bag from under the table before making his way down the hallway. Megumi followed after, tripping over his feet a bit.
By the time he came over, Satoru had already gotten all the glass gathered into the bag and tied off. He dropped the bag in the corner of the hallway before turning to Megumi, crouching down into a squat as he sat face-to-face.
“Now, what’s the problem with Tsumiki?” He asked, tipping his head as he let his headrest in his palms. Megumi kicked at the ground slightly.
“She threw up,” He said bluntly. “I didn’t know what to do, I never dealt with that before. I don’t know how to help.” Megumi was mortified to find that he was tearing up again. “I dunno how to help. I just guessed. The food I made was what made her throw up, and the medicines I gave Tsumiki didn’t work either. And no one was here to help, ‘cause- ‘cause her mom used to help with sick stuff and they know better and it was- was scary.”
Megumi almost gasped for breath when he reached the end, Satoru resting one hand on his shoulder as he panted slightly. The child looked up, wrapping a hand around Satoru’s wrist before he leaned forward, resting his head against Satoru.
The man knelt down, sitting more comfortably before he hugged Megumi to his chest carefully.
“Yeah, that sounds stressful, Gumi, I don’t blame you. Maybe I should send someone to come around more, I’m sure you get bored of me seeing you-”
“No,” Megumi interrupted, pulling back to look him in the eyes. “No, I don’t get bored, I-” He cut himself off, reluctant to share. “I like when you come over. It’s nice, sometimes. Not being lonely.” Satoru was silent for a moment, and Megumi rushed to backpedal.
“I don’t- Forget it, whatever, you don’t-”
“No, no no, I’ll come over more, I can make time. It’s fine,” Satoru rushed to reassure him. The two were silent for a moment before Megumi nodded once.
“Okay.”
Satoru mirrored the actions, nodding. “Okay.”
Satoru stood, and Megumi followed as he walked into Tsumiki’s room. “She’s gonna be okay, right?”
“Yeah, don’t worry,” Satoru waved him off. “This is normal, it’s fine. Kids get sick.” Megumi nodded. After half an hour, with Tsumiki checked over and Megumi hovering over his shoulder, watching his every move, Satoru and Megumi settled down in Megumi’s room. He felt antsy, even as he crawled into bed and pulled the covers over his legs.
“Are you going?” Megumi asked, and he almost immediately regretted the question when Satoru paused.
“No, not tonight,” He answered finally. The man smoothed his hair down over his head, and Megumi didn’t push the hand away as he usually would. “I’ll stick around, check on the two of you. That okay?”
“Yeah, I guess,” Megumi mumbled, waving him off. He turned over in bed, staring at the wall as he waited for Satoru to leave.
Instead, he heard the man settle down on the edge of his bed, carding his fingers through his hair as Megumi was slowly lulled to sleep. His last, semi-conscious, embarrassing thought was that he was happy that Satoru had been there today.