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I’m twenty-one. I should not be excited about a surprise birthday party. Baz and Penny have decided that today is my birthday and boom! There’re a million different cakes made by Lady Ruth and Jamie’s playing the guitar and presents. They care enough about me to buy me presents.
I’m overwhelmed from the start. Everyone knows that I hate surprises; my therapist convinced me to get a planner so I can map out my days. It makes me feel less like a lump on a log. The whole flat is decorated; streamers hanging from the ceiling, a huge birthday banner across the kitchen, everyone is decked out in bright Easter colors and party hats.
Baz won’t stop smiling, so I know there’s something up his sleeve. He never smiles like this in public. I’m a little disheartened that now everyone will see that crooked smile that he saves just for me. He’s kept a firm grip on my bicep since I got back to the flat after work.
Penny won’t stop smiling either, but I think it’s less about me and more about how moony she is over Shepard. He’s stayed with her here for a year. Shep said the last time he was grounded like this was when he was still in high school. For some reason, he loves it here.
Everyone’s being super touchy with me; a celebration of finally allowing people in. And I love it! I love giving my family hugs. It’s crazy that that word comes so easily to me now, family. Shep is just as eager to join the hug train, he basically won’t let go of me once I opened my arms to him. Baz scoffed and pretended not to be jealous, but he knows I’ll hug him for longer once we’re alone.
Baz whisks us to a quiet corner of the kitchen after handing me a cider. “Alright?” he whispers, kissing my cheek.
I place the cider on the counter and grab his hands. “More than,” I reply. “’M just a little tired”
“Busy day, then?”
I nod, letting go of Baz’s delicate hands, and rubbing the heels over my eyes. Then I focus back on Baz; he looks ridiculous with the bubblegum pink triangle hat on his head.
“Well, we don’t have to stretch this out. We can open presents, eat cake, and be done with it.” He’s still smiling, and he must’ve drunk a lot of blood earlier because his cheeks are light pink. He must’ve drained a cow.
I pull him into my arms, unable to wait a second longer. I wrap my arms around his torso and lean my forehead on his shoulder. He bends his head down to kiss the top of my head.
“I love you,” I say, overcome with the feeling all the sudden. I feel guilt too; I didn’t do anything to this extreme for his birthday, we just watched Pride and Prejudice and fucked. I feel guilty about a lot of other things too. I feel my eyes starting to well up, but I push it down.
Baz lets out a surprised little sound. “Oh, Simon, I love you too.” He’s rubbing up and down my back in between my wings like he usually does when we watch telly. Merlin, it feels wonderful.
“C’mon, let’s open presents, yeah?”
I’m not one hundred percent sure how birthday parties work. I went to a work friend’s last month, but it was merely a long night at the pub. Nothing like this.
Baz leads me to the sofa; there are gifts scattered around on the floor. Penny puts an obnoxiously glittery “Birthday Boy” tiara on my head, ruffling my hair in the process. There is a hustle and bustle as the rest of our guests come sit around, huge smiles adorning all their faces even Niamh who I’m not sure likes me.
I feel a bit like a child, everyone staring at me, waiting for me to do something. I’m pretty sure that opening presents like this only happen at children’s parties. The mate I went out with last month barely looked at the card I gave him.
Baz hands me a present. It’s not too heavy with beautiful flowery wrapping paper. On the front, it has a card with my name written in a small, cramped scribble. I tear off the card and open it. It has a picture of a golden retriever with a balloon on the front and inside it says, “Life’s ruff, but your birthday isn’t. I’m so happy to have a grandson as perfect as you. Love, Ruth. PS: thanks for saving me last year – Jamie.” I feel my throat tighten. I look at Ruth with watery eyes and nod. I give the card to Penny who is sitting on my left. I start to peel back the yellow and pink flowered paper revealing a Nintendo Switch with Mario Kart 8.
“I—wow. Thank you so much! I— sorry, I’m just speechless. Um…”
“It was our pleasure, Simon. Hope I purchased the right thing. Baz said that you’ve been eyeing one.”
“Yeah, this is it.”
Baz starts to rub my thigh, another gift already in his hands. I pass the Switch onto Penny and grab the next gift from Baz. I can’t imagine how anything can beat that which I know is rude, but I can’t help it.
The next gift is in a bag, adorned with tons of ribbon and blue tissue paper. I fish through it to find a set of purple and green bath bombs. I smile politely at Agatha and Niamh, although I don’t particularly like the gift. I’m sure Baz will love them though.
Next is a box, no card, that has been fully decorated with stickers of my face. I open the box and find a Lego set of the Infinity Gauntlet from Marvel. I hear Baz groan beside me, knowing we’ll have to display this somewhere in our flat. I grin at Shepard.
By this point, I am jittering excitingly, ready to start building and playing and taking baths… but there are still two more gifts from the people I love the most.
I can tell whose are just from the wrapping; Penny’s is sloppy, barely covering the box to the baking set she bought me, and has a haphazard ribbon plopped on top while Baz’s looks like he works in retail.
I grab Penny’s and smile all through ripping the paper. I’ve been wanting a proper bakeware to set for ages, but I always wanted to buy it myself. On the top of the box is a handwritten recipe. It reads “Watford Sour Cherry Scones” at the top. I kiss her cheek and bring her into my arms, whispering a thousand thank you’s.
And then finally, Baz’s gift. It’s not heavy at all surprisingly. I peel back the Starry Night wrapping paper and see a plushie of a dragon. I pick it up, fully disregarding the wrapping paper. It’s soft, incredibly soft, and it feels like it’s weighted with little beans inside. It has a blue body with red wings and tail. I’m automatically in love.
I fall into Baz’s arms, crying. I clutch the small object to my torso. I don’t even know why I’m crying. It’s just a stupid doll. But it’s mine. I’ve never had this many things just for me… ever. I always had to share. And it’s so soft and cute and I just—
“It’s okay, love, shh,” Baz whispers softly, caressing that spot on my left wing that makes me melt.
I feel Penny leave the spot beside me and all the sudden everyone is singing, “Happy birthday”. I look up and there’s Penny holding a huge cake with twenty candles in it, and I start to cry even more. She sets it down on the coffee table and I blow out the candles, making a wish for every day to be this good.
Penny cuts open the cake and its rainbow inside. Ruth starts to laugh and then I do, and then everyone is eating cake, happily discussing me. Is this what all birthdays are like?
Everyone leaves soon after that which I’m happy about because my social battery is drained. I lie on the sofa, cuddling the soft toy in my arms. I rub the soft texture against my face, and it feels wonderful.
“Happy?” Baz asks. I lift my feet so he can sit and place them back down on his lap.
“Thank you,” I say.
Baz shrugs, “It was all Penny’s idea.”
I laugh. Of course, it was. I sit up and move so I can kiss his cheek. Then, I bring the dragon plushie to his nose and say, “Boop.”
Baz chuckles, pulling me into his arms. “I take it you like it then.”
“I love it, Baz.” I kiss his lips this time. They’re almost as soft as the toy and he tastes like Buttercream frosting. “Thank you.”
“Anytime, my love.”
“I have to get you a vampire plushie now,” I joke. “We’ll name it Gaympire.”
“No, we will not name it that,” he argues. I look at him, unbelieving that we made it through the past year. “Speaking of what’re you naming this little guy?”
I shrug. “Dragon.”
“You are not naming it Dragon.”
“Flamey.”
“Better.”
And thus began the tradition of Baz and I getting plushies for one another until our flat was overcome by plushies. We would give some away to charities, buy new ones, buy them for our friends, and then we gave them to our children. All because of my twenty first surprise birthday party.