Work Text:
Cast:
Jude Law (JL)
Mads Mikkelsen (MM)
***
(Intro)
JL and MM sit side by side, smiling and waving into the camera.
JL: Hi. I’m Jude Law, and I play Albus Dumbledore.
MM: I’m Mads Mikkelsen and I play Gellert Grindelwald, in- (pauses)
JL and MM: (together) -Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore.
MM: Today, we are going to read your Grindelw- (pauses) er, Grindel… Grindel-Dore-?
JL: (fluently) -Grindeldore-
MM: -Grindeldore tweets. (looks at JL) Grindel...dore?
JL: (looks at MM) Supposedly the names of Grindelwald and Dumbledore combined together?
MM: Oh- (realizing something) Grindel-dore! Okay, got it. (nods) So they’re going to be about us? (points back and forth between them) About Grindelwald and Dumbledore?
JL: (nods) I think so. (eyes widen suddenly, listening to an inaudible instruction from the staff) Ah, yes. Almost forgot. (looks into the camera again) Before we get started, we do need to warn you that these will contain some serious spoilers of the movie-
MM: (continues) -So if you haven’t seen it, make sure you catch it in theatres-
JL: -Or on streaming services, whichever way you prefer.
MM: (nods approvingly) -before you continue watching this video. (looks at JL) Okay? Done?
JL: (smiles at MM) Yes. Let’s get started, shall we?
MM: Okay. (wiggles his eyebrows) Bring it on.
(Interlude)
JL: Alright. First one. Let’s see- After the Qilin bows to Dumbledore, Grindelwald looks like he’s so annoyed but can’t hold back a proud smile, like “That’s my pure-hearted husband right there." Okay. (blinks several times) This is- (stops) Husband? (looks at MM with a confused smile)
MM: (starts slowly) Well, there’s this theory that the blood pact is basically some sort of contract… (speeds up) -made by two people in love and strongly attached to each other, right? (JL nods) So in a sense that’s roughly equal to a marriage contract in the muggle world, right?
JL: (cocks his head and nods) That makes sense. (smiles) And how about this “proud smile” Gellert has? I don’t think it was in the script. Was that what you were- (looks at MM) -trying to tell the audience? Or…
MM: Errm- (thinking) I don’t remember specifically trying to depict that Gellert was "proud" or anything, but- (still thinking) I think in that particular scene there was a lot going on. The Qilin bows to Albus and everyone is shocked, and Albus refuses and everyone is shocked again, and there’s a lot of “!” (gasps) and then (another gasp with his hands raised), that reaction, so maybe there was some part of it that looked a bit… comical. Made me laugh. (nods seriously. JL listens attentively) Yeah. I think I almost laughed in a few takes, and maybe they just didn’t edit it out. That’s my answer. (shrugs and then smiles briefly)
(Interlude)
MM: Next one. (reads his sheet of paper) The way Albus bats his eyelashes when Gellert shows up at the restaurant is exactly like how a nervous teenage girl would act in front of her crush. (smiles sweetly) Oh, that scene.
JL: (smiles too and echoes) That scene. Yes.
MM: Tell us about the batting eyelashes.
JL: (laughs lightly) The batting eyelashes. Well, I suppose he would’ve been a little bit nervous, maybe a bit excited, and a little bit worried about what is going to happen during this meeting. (clicks his tongue) After all, they haven’t met in quite a long time, right?
MM: (nods) That’s what I think, too. They probably haven’t met in about thirty years-?
JL: Or, (raises his eyes) they could’ve been secretly meeting up every once in a while…
MM: (snickers, and then hesitates for a second) …We don’t know from the movie.
JL: (agrees) We don’t know from the movie, yes. (smiles) Anyway. Assuming they haven’t met in thirty years, and they’ve still got feelings for each other-
MM: (cuts in) Oh they’ve definitely got feelings for each other-
JL: (chuckles) Definitely, okay. I imagine Albus would be a bit, um, hesitant, to look up at Gellert. I mean, I imagine him trying to prepare himself for the meeting, but when Gellert is finally there, he still has to sort of... brace himself for it. That’s how strong his feelings for Gellert still are.
MM: (in a lower voice) One look at his face-
JL: (smiles wryly) Yes. One look at his face, and he has to tell himself not to go down that path again. (shakes his head, smiling sadly)
(Interlude)
JL: Let’s do another: I have a feeling it wouldn’t have been that hard to convince Gellert to change his mind, had Albus just taken the man to bed. Just look at him pining for his old lover. Okay. (chuckles) I knew these would get sexual at some point. Okay. (pulling a straight face, facing MM) What do you think?
MM: That’s- (shrugs and takes a deep breath) -actually pretty convincing.
JL: (to MM) Do you think Gellert would’ve changed his mind?
MM: It’s hard to tell. (serious face) Because it was never going to happen in this PG-13 movie.
JL: (cracking up) Alright, fair point. But seriously, even if the rating allows it- (frowns a little) I personally don’t think Albus would’ve done it.
MM: (head tilt) Why not?
JL: Because- (thinks for a second and then very slowly) I kind of have a feeling that Albus wouldn’t trust himself enough… to do that? (bites his lower lip)
MM: You mean… (puts up two index fingers and makes a swapping gesture) that Albus is afraid that it’ll be the other way around?
JL: (nods slowly) Yeah… Gellert is very… persuasive, you know.
MM: (closes his eyes in thought) …Indeed.
(Interlude)
MM: We know that the dream sequence isn’t a dream because if this were Albus’ dream, Gellert wouldn’t have left him there alone. They would’ve finished the tea, gotten a room upstairs, and Gellert would’ve f(beep-) him unconscious into the mattress until dawn. Again, (raises his hands up in a surrender posture) PG-13. It’s just not going to happen, by default. (pulls a resigned face)
JL: (cracking up) Sorry- (taking a deep breath) Very imaginative. Very on-point.
MM: Was it a dream sequence, though? (turns to JL)
JL: (raises an index finger) For the record, we were never really told what it was exactly, right?
MM: (nods agreeingly) That’s right.
JL: From what I saw in the movie, I thought they met through some sort of connection that they had? Through either, um, legilimency… or a special bond related to the blood troth… It could be anything. There’s room for interpretation there-
MM: (interrupts) I thought it was a memory.
JL: (a little surprised) Oh?
MM: A memory of what actually happened earlier, except it probably didn’t end well so he didn’t want to remember it. That’s why it ended like that, the whole place burning up.
JL: Or... Maybe it ended in ways that a PG-13 movie isn’t allowed to showcase...? (raises an eyebrow)
MM: (just narrows his eyes at JL)
JL and MM both crack up.
(Interlude)
JL: Final tweet! Here goes: Alternate ending to the Bhutan duel: when they feel each other’s heartbeat they pull each other in for a passionate kiss, disapparate to somewhere quiet and away from the world and realize that there’s nothing they desire more than being together and they live happily ever after. (pauses to catch his breath) Wow.
MM: Classic romantic movie ending, huh?
JL: Yeah. (puffs his cheeks) It was, in fact, a very emotional scene. Arguably the most romantic scene in the movie.
MM: (matter-of-factly) Ah, sorry Queenie and Jacob.
JL: (laughs) Most romantic. (straightens up a little bit) But what if they really kissed? Theoretically it’s not impossible, is it? (looks inquiringly at MM) I mean, they are in that, um, sort of secluded realm that’s isolated from the outside world, so it wouldn’t have been, like, there wouldn’t have been anyone to stop them. Should they want to do that. Right?
MM: Do you think they would’ve done it? If they held onto each other for a little longer?
JL gazes at MM and MM stares back, neither smiling.
(cut)
They are still gazing at each other in the same position.
JL: (exhales a little shakily, somehow) If they’d done it… (inhales deeply) There would be no remaining movies left in the franchise, and Jo would have to rewrite everything about them in the Harry Potter books.
MM: (smiling softly) That’s true.
JL: In conclusion: it can’t happen.
MM: (nodding) No.
(cut)
MM: (looking a lot more relaxed now) Okay! We’ve finished reading these Grindeldal- (still struggling) Grin-del-dore tweets!
JL: These are very in-depth and very, um, (frowns a little) thoroughly understanding feedback pieces about the movie. (shakes his head) I am blown away. Very flattered that the audience are having all these extended thoughts and feelings about our characters.
MM: (smiles gently) Thank you for all of these, and thank you (gestures at the camera) for watching!
JL and MM wave goodbye to the camera.
(Outtro)
***
“Hey Sylvia?” Jack calls out from his desk. “Have you seen this?”
“What?” Sylvia doesn’t move her gaze from her own editing project.
“The Fantastic Beasts twitter thing we did yesterday.” Jack answers. “Have you seen the footage? I think- I think there’s something wrong with it. You should come and see.”
Obviously reluctant to leave her seat, Sylvia sighs and slowly walks over to Jack’s seat.
“Okay. Um, look over here-” Jack searches the bar manually until he finds what he’s looking for, and presses play.
“Do you think they would’ve done it? If they held onto each other for a little longer?”
Jude gazes at Mads and Mads stares back, neither smiling. They stay in that position for several seconds, before Jude speaks again.
“If they’d done it…
“Did you see that?” Jack pauses the video and turns to Sylvia.
“See what?”
“That-” Jack plays it again. “There’s something here,” He points to the screen and Sylvia leans closer, “There. Like a glitch or something. Plus-” He replays it the third time. “Watch Jude. There.” He pauses it and clicks back and forth between two frames of Jude and Mads looking at each other. “Spot the difference? His ears. They’ve gone red in an instant.”
Sylvia studies the screen as Jack demonstrates it again. When she’s finally finished, she straightens up and hums in thought.
“What do you think?” Jack asks.
“-I think it’s just a little equipment error.” Sylvia says lightly. “It looks just like a cut. Shouldn’t be a problem in the final product.
“I've never seen this kind of equipment error.” Jack says suspiciously. “And what about the ears going red all of a sudden?”
“Well I think maybe Jude just blushes very quick. You know, like Eddie Redmayne? He can go from pale to tomato color in a second.” Sylvia shrugs.
Jack looks like he’s not entirely convinced.
“I’m kinda tired.” He finally says. “Can I come in early tomorrow and finish this?”
“Yeah, sure. You should.” Sylvia tells him. “And you don’t have to come in early tomorrow. It’s almost finished, right?”
“Yeah. I haven’t put the extra sound effects in, but other than that it’s almost done.” Jack replies.
Sylvia smiles warmly. “That’s great! Get some sleep. Come back refreshed and you’ll finish it in no time.” She says.
After Jack gathers his stuff and exits the room, Sylvia waits until his footsteps disappear. Then she quietly opens the door to the studio next to them and turns on the lights, revealing the set for Mads and Jude’s interview from the day before. She listens for any sound around them for a few seconds, making sure she’s the only one left. Then she smiles to herself, draws out her wand from her jacket, and whispers.
"Appare Vestigium."