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(4:15) if you aren’t home right now I think I may just have a mental break down in this parking lot
(4:15) everything that could have gone wrong went wrong. desperately needing some TLC rn :,((
[4:22] ?
(4:23) connie I think I may have to quit art cause the sheer clownery that went down today qualifies me for the circus
(4:26) SO FIRST okay I wake up at 11 which is a problem because I planned to get up at 8 to finish my project you know like an idiot
(4:26) the one for painting 2, not ceramics
(4:28) but class is at 1 so I’m like ok I can do this and I did !!! it looked shitty and rushed but at least I did it right
(4:29) well let me tell you it didn’t matter cause you know what I did?? do you want to know what I did ?????
[4:30] What did you do?
(4:30) I FELL ASLEEP AT THE BUS STOP
(4:31) and do you want to know what happened after that ???
[4:32] What happened?
(4:32) IT STARTED RAINING ON ME. WHICH OKAY FINE I CAN HANDLE IT NOT THE FIRST TIME IVE SHOWN UP TO CLASS LOOKING LIKE A DROWNED RAT
(4:33) BUT DO YOU KNOW WHAT MY PAINTING WAS MADE OF??
[4:34] What was your painting made of?
(4:34) GOUACHE. WATER SOLUBLE GOUACHE PAINT.
(4:35) so I wake up soaking wet my painting is a pile of papery mush in my lap my jeans RUINED and no hope of making it to class on time to even show my professor the evidence
(4:35) LIKE WHAT DO I EVEN DO ??
[4:38] That is certainly a situation you’ve gotten yourself into. Perhaps you could email the professor for an extension. Professors tend to be quite understanding in these situations.
(4:39) you think so ? idk I had like a couple weeks to do this so I think this one might be on me
[4:40] Perhaps, though it is difficult to take in-climate weather and public transportation into account. Both of which are fine excuses.
(4:40) you may be onto something here !! I’m trash at making excuses
(4:41) also lol ur being weirdly helpful today constance what is it a full moon or ?
[4:42] My apologies, I’m not Constance. I believe you have the wrong number. I'm not even quite certain how you managed to get this number.
(4:42) oh
(4:43) ok that makes sense lol I was wondering what all the proper punctuation was about
(4:45) sorry for lowkey venting at u !! just got a new phone
[4:46] That’s quite alright.
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(11:55) so today is already going a lot better than yesterday
(11:55) I’m having ice cream for breakfast and it’s not raining
[11:59] I’m still not Constance.
[12:00] But that’s good to hear even if ice cream for breakfast is a questionable choice at best.
(12:01) yeah I just think you deserved an update after yesterday. my life isn’t usually so insane
(12:01) ok that’s a lie, it totally is but the sentiment is there
[12:05] Interesting.
[12:06] You are having ice cream for breakfast? Did you just wake up? It’s midday.
(12:06) I can feel u judging me through my phone
(12:07) it not my fault !! I was a closer last night at my job and still had to study for my history quiz after :(
[12:07] Hm. Thats excusable, I suppose.
(12:09) exactly! what about you, dear stranger?
[12:10] What about me?
(12:10) how is ur day going ?
[12:13] Sub-par.
(12:13) cmon u gotta give me more than that!! I’m terribly bored here waiting for the bus
(12:13) if you don’t tell me how ur day is going I may perish of boredom
(12:14) you can still save me from this awful fate
[12:20] Alright.
[12:23] Well, I woke up to my cat tearing apart styrofoam and scattering it throughout my apartment.
(12:23) oh no ! I hope they didn’t eat any of it
[12:24] No, she’s much too smart for that. She just enjoys being a general nuisance.
(12:26) lol love that. what else
[12:36] The office is a bit tense today due to a long time client showing up and being generally annoying. Though, I don’t have to deal with him directly so I don’t actually care.
(12:38) oooooooh office life sounds juicy
(12:38) any tea about ur coworkers ?
[12:40] I’m assuming “tea” is a euphemism for gossip?
(12:41) omg.. grandpa
(12:41) yeah it means gossip lol
[12:42] I tell you how my day is going and you call me old for not knowing the latest lingo.
(12:43) LINGO ??
(12:43) oh god u really are a grandpa no one says lingo anymore
[12:45] …
(12:46) sorry I didn’t mean it !!
(12:46) I’m sure ur young and hip !!
(12:46) pls continue about ur annoying client and office gossip
[12:48] There isn’t truly any office gossip if you ask me. It’s all personal relations that fall firmly under the category “Too Much Information.”
(12:48) WHAT
(12:49) relationship scandals are the best kind of scandals !!!
(12:49) don’t hold out on me now
[12:52] For starters, I’m certain one of our... partners is having relations with both a receptionist and his personal assistant.
[12:53] I’m uncertain of how he’s managing to juggle that, but again, I don’t truly care.
(12:53) partner like.. a lawyer ?
[12:54] Indeed.
(12:54) oh nice !! I watched a bit of Suits on Netflix once
(12:55) but wow that is actually insane
(12:55) how do u know?
(12:56) omg wait did you catch them in flagrante… ?
[12:57] No, thank god for small mercies.
[12:58] It’s several little things adding up. They’re too friendly and sometimes they’ll leave together when it’s unnecessary.
[12:58] Among other things.
[12:59] Don’t you have class?
(1:00) yeah but the prof is fine with phones we can keep chatting
[1:02] You should be paying attention or doing your work.
(1:03) mmm nah ur more interesting
(1:03) besides I already know what she’s talking about, I mean really why are we going over figure drawing in a painting 2 class ?
[1:04] I have nothing intelligent to say about that. My education skipped over the arts, unfortunately.
(1:05) cause ur a big fancy lawyer right ?
[1:06] Close. Paralegal.
(1:06) ooooooooh !
(1:06) no clue what that means
[1:07] I do case research and manage files so the partners don’t have to waste time with it.
(1:08) sounds utterly boring no offense
[1:08] It is. None taken.
(1:09) lol if it’s boring why do u do it
[1:15] Why indeed.
(1:16) what a sufficiently cryptic answer !
[1:17] Pay attention to your professor.
(1:17) :P
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(11:45) I wish I could get a cat :((
[11:50] You should be asleep.
(11:50) can’t ! I’m closer at work again
(11:51) why, were u asleep ?
[11:52] …No.
[11:53] You shouldn’t be on your phone at work.
(11:54) my shift isn’t over but the restaurant is dead and I’m SO bored
(11:54) and what the manager doesn’t know won’t kill him
(11:55) but back to the matter at hand
(11:55) I want a cat :((
[11:56] Then get one. What’s stopping you?
(11:56) my apartment doesn’t allow them
(11:57) which is stupid because the apartment definitely isn’t nice enough to be imposing rules like that
[11:58] Well, technically neither does mine. I have one anyway.
(11:58) WHAT
(11:58) u rebel !! what if ur landlord finds out ?
[12:00] Oh, he definitely already knows. I find that glaring makes him quite agreeable.
(12:01) oh my god
(12:01) u have powers of intimidation
(12:01) and u use them to have a cat in ur apartment
[12:02] Do you disagree with that notion?
(12:02) absolutely not !!
(12:03) these are obviously noble pursuits, my good man
[12:04] Assuming I am a man?
(12:05) I already called u grandpa
(12:05) I figured u would have corrected me by now if u weren’t
[12:06] Ah.
(12:07) am I wrong ?
[12:08] No, though you understand I could easily be lying, right?
(12:08) well yeah but I don’t think you are
(12:09) I have an instinct for this sort thing
[12:10] For what, guessing a stranger’s gender through cellular?
(12:10) lol no !!
(12:10) for lying
[12:11] I see. What about you?
(12:12) what about me ?
[12:13] Are you a man or a woman?
(12:14) oh I’m a guy !
(12:15) oop gtg it’s closing time !!
[12:16] gtg?…
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(12:58) lol it means “got to go”
(12:58) sorry ur probably asleep my bad
[1:00] No, I’m awake.
(1:01) oh good u can keep me company on the bus ride home !!
(1:02) it’s creepy at night
[1:03] You’re taking the bus at night? That’s a bit dangerous.
(1:04) yeah but I don’t have a choice
(1:04) no car, can’t afford one
[1:05] That’s unfortunate.
(1:05) it really is !!!
(1:06) if I had a car I’d love to hang something from the rearview mirror
(1:06) I’ve always wanted to do that
[1:07] What would you put there?
(1:08) good question
(1:08) maybe some of those cheesy fuzzy dice that you see in the movies
(1:09) definitely green ones, green is my favorite color
[1:10] I’m more partial to red myself.
(1:15) omg
(1:15) omg omg
[1:16] What?
(1:16) there’s like. a really sketchy looking guy on the bus with me and he
(1:16) he won’t stop staring at me??
(1:17) he’s making the GROSSEST bedroom eyes at me
[1:18] What does he look like?
(1:18) ummm kinda hard to tell, he’s wearing a grey hoodie with the hood up and jeans ?? he’s bigger than me
(1:19) but I’m short so that’s not saying much
(1:19) OH FUCK HE SAW ME LOOKINH HES COMING OVE R
[1:20] What????
[1:30] Are you alright?
[1:35] Hello?
(1:37) I ESCAPED
[1:37] What???????
(1:38) okay SO
(1:39) he was so WEIRD oh my god you don’t even know he like. touched my arm and asked me my name
(1:39) and obviously I was like um I don’t know u sir !! and then he said I have really nice hair and I was like UM
[1:40] Christ.
(1:41) and I’m one stop away from the one nearest my apartment so I think ok I’ll get off now to escape this awkward situation which was quickly escalating
(1:41) HE WAS RUBBING MY ARM AND SQUEEZING IT
(1:41) IT WAS SO NASTY
[1:42] I… don’t even know what to say to that.
(1:42) YEAH NEITHER DID I BUT HERES THE KICKER
(1:43) he gets off at the same stop and starts to follow me
[1:44] What did you do??
(1:44) I thought ok. mama didn’t raise no fool and I BOOK IT to my apartment
(1:45) I realize he could’ve followed me but he’s huge and I was in cross-country in high school for sprinting !!
(1:46) surely I could outrun him
[1:48] And you’re alright now?
(1:49) yeah I’m safe
(1:50) I’ll update you if I end up getting snatched in my sleep though
(1:52) sorry I’m just now realizing how crazy this is. I didn’t mean to keep you up or anything
[1:53] It’s alright, I’m glad you’re safe.
[1:54] Consider a means of self-defense.
(1:55) lol maybe ur right
(1:56) shit I’m shaking
(1:56) nothing like a hearty shot of adrenaline at 2 in the morning am I right
[1:58] Just take a deep breath, you’re alright now.
[1:58] You’re safe.
(2:00) yeah ! yeah. oh man I’m tired
(2:01) thanks
(2:02) I’m gonna try to sleep haha
(2:02) good night :))
[2:03] Goodnight.
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(4:15) ur probably asleep but I just wanted to say sorry and thanks again cause that was weird !! I didn’t mean to startle you or anything
(4:16) my name is d’Artagnan by the way
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[8:00] It’s alright, I don't startle easily.
[8:01] It's nice to meet you, d’Artagnan.
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