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Damian is in love with Dick.
Jason knows, because he’s an expert on being in love with Dick Grayson. Jason knows, because he’d had a big, stupid hero crush on Nightwing, back when Jason was an annoying little shit running around in Dick’s old Robin costume. He remembers what it had been like: the eagerness to impress, the desperation to prove himself, to make Dick look at him like his equal and not some dumb new kid. He remembers training harder, practicing more, focusing on his acrobatics in order to impress Dick.
Jason knows, because he’d felt the warm thudding of his heart, the heart he’d tried to pretend had died with him, when Dick had reached out to him, had let Jason rib him and impersonate him, had let Jason team up with him and bandage him and had trusted him, even after everything Jason had done. He’d felt the same desire to make Dick proud, had found himself scaling back his violence, his killing almost subconsciously, chasing the reward of Dick’s company. Jason knows, because he feels that warm feeling in his chest now, whenever Dick looks at him and smiles, when Dick drapes himself over Jason, or when he pulls Jason into his side, when he kisses Jason on the cheek, his lips, his neck. The way he grins when he pulls Jason to their bed, their couch, the nearest shadowy wall. The way he holds Jason after, sweaty and glowing and smiling. He tries to please Dick in different ways now, with his attention, with his hands, his mouth, his body.
Jason knows, because he is in love with Dick.
He recognizes it in the way Damian acts around Dick, something much more than just Damian liking Dick the most, being the most comfortable with him. It’s in the way the kid presses himself up against Dick, in the way he stares at him, the way his whole body reacts to something as simple as Dick’s hand on his shoulder. It’s in the way he turns towards Dick, soaks up his praise, his attention. It’s in the way he drifts nearer to Dick, stands just that little bit too close.
He recognizes the hours Damian is spending in the gym, on the trampoline and the mats, drilling his acrobatic skills. The way he’s determined to land a double back flip, even though
it’s practically useless in a fight. Jason had taught himself the same thing, once upon a time, trying to be like Dick, to match him. And he knows that Damian is doing it for the same reasons,
since the kid’s never once shown interest in learning things just for fun.
It’s obvious what he’s doing, even more so for the way he treats Jason.
The brat’s never been the friendliest, but the way he’s acting now is downright rude, enough that it’s quite literally raising eyebrows. Even from the replacement, who doesn’t like either of them.
Damian will shove Jason out of the way if he thinks he’s too close to Dick. Will put himself in between them, will tug on Dick’s hands, pull him aside, will distract him as soon as he sees Jason walking into the room.
It would be an annoyance, something for Jason to grumble about, except for the fact that it’s starting to creep into their other lives too.
Damian’s never listened very well, but it’s getting worse. He will outright disobey orders from everyone but Dick, even Oracle’s, even Batman’s. When he doesn’t get to patrol with Dick he’s surly and violent, and Jason knows, because Bruce has lectured Damian every single night this week, with that pinched tension in his jaw.
The previous night’s lecture had been a doozy, a double lecture from both Bruce and Dick after Damian had dislocated his shoulder dropping in on one of Nightwing’s fights, having slipped away from Batman and trailed him.
Damian’s supposed to be benched, both for the disobedience and the shoulder, but when Jason drives into the cave he isn’t surprised to find him arguing with Dick and Bruce again,
halfway into his Robin suit.
“You cannot stop me!” Damian is saying, pulling the top half of the suit over his shoulders. “I am capable of patrolling without being babysat.”
“Last night proves that you’re not,” Bruce says. He’s in full Batman mode, even his cowl is up. “You are a danger not only to yourself, but to anyone you patrol with."
“I am not!” Damian protests.
Dick pokes him in the shoulder, the injured one, and Damian sways with it, gritting his teeth to hide his wince. “Take a break, little D,” Dick advises. “Whatever it is that’s going on with you, it’s better to figure it out here, where you’re safe.”
Damian looks at Dick with big eyes, sad eyes, a trick he’s surely learned from Dick himself. “My shoulder does not hurt any longer,” he lies. “And if you let me patrol with you, I promise, I will obey.”
Dick sighs. “I don’t know what’s going on, Damian, and I want to help you, but I can’t do that if you don’t talk to me.” He turns those eyes right back on Damian.
Damian frowns, pouts really, though he’d never admit it. “Nothing is wrong,” he insists stubbornly.
“Alright,” Dick says, a sigh still in his voice. “We’ll talk more when I get back.” He moves to step away, but Damian keeps in step with him.
“Let me come with you,” Damian continues. “I will do as you say. I promise.”
Dick ruffles his hair. “You have to be able to listen to anyone,” he says.
“I can,” Damian says immediately. “I will, if you let me come with you.”
“Damian, you’re not listening right now,” Dick says sternly.
Damian crosses his arms and huffs. “This is unfair,” he says.
“Oh, little D, B has benched me for far less,” Dick says with a chuckle. “Take the night off. Ice your shoulder. We’ll talk when I get back.”
“But what are you going to do?” Damian insists. “What if something happens? What if you need someone?”
“Damian,” Dick says, “I’ve been doing this a long time. What’s gotten into you?”
“Nothing!” Damian continues to protest.
And Jason’s had enough. The conversation is clearly going in circles, Damian too stubborn to give up, but also unwilling to confess. He walks over and physically inserts himself into the conversation, draping himself across Dick’s back.
Dick doesn’t even startle, only adjusts his weight to take Jason’s into account.
Damian glares. “What are you doing here, Todd?” he demands.
“I’m here to ask Dick on a date,” Jason says, grinning at Damian purposefully. “Got a warehouse full of drugs being marketed to kids. You in?”
“No, he’s not!” Damian interrupts. He marches up to Dick and Jason and sets his stance, arms across his chest.
“Damian,” Dick says sharply.
Damian ignores him. “He’s not going patrolling with you,” Damian snarls, trying to tug Jason’s arm off from around Dick’s chest.
Well, the kid has balls, Jason’ll give him that.
“Damian. Stop.” Dick voice is short, sharp, echoing across the cave. It’s the way he talks in the field; Nightwing’s commanding tones.
Damian stills under it. He gives Jason’s arm another good shove and then turns on his heel and stomps out of the cave.
“What the fuck?” Dick says, running his hand through his hair. “I’m sorry, Jason, I don’t know what’s wrong with him.” He sighs. “I’ll go talk to him.”
“No,” Jason says, surprising even himself. “I’ll go.”
Dick’s eyebrows raise. “Has he said something to you? Do you know what’s going on?”
“No,” Jason snorts. “Kid hasn’t said shit. But I have a guess.”
“What guess?”
Jason shrugs. “Might be wrong. But let me try talking to him.”
“Okay,” Dick agrees easily. “Not like I’m doing any good.”
He looks upset, still staring off where Damian had disappeared.
Jason sighs and rests his forehead against Dick’s shoulder. “If I’m right, it’s not your fault,” he says. “Sometimes you’re just too good for your own good.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Dick says.
“What it means,” Jason says, kissing Dick’s cheek. “Go patrol, don’t worry about the kid.”
“I can’t help it,” Dick sighs.
“Go,” Jason repeats, tapping his ass. “Before he comes back and tries to follow you.”
“Fine,” Dick says. “Just don’t let him jump off the roof of the manor or something.”
“Doesn’t sound like me,” Jason says, grinning.
Dick rolls his eyes, but he looks a little lighter as he gets on his bike and takes off out the open door.
Bruce is still there, standing still in the shadows, watching.
“You too, Batman,” Jason says. “Don’t worry, I’m not about to push your birdie out the tree.”
“I know,” Bruce says in his low growl.
Jason doesn’t stay to watch him leave, just starts working his way up from the cave. There’s only one place a Robin will go when they need to blow off some steam, and that’s up. There’s several paths through the house up to the roof of the manor, including a direct route from the cave, up a spiraling staircase hidden in the back of the house, all the way up through a trap door. It’s very old school secret passage shit, and Jason had always loved the forbidden feel of it.
And it looks like Damian does too, because he’s standing out on the middle of the roof, the autumn wind whipping his cape around.
“Damian.”
The kid startles at Jason’s voice and turns around, glaring daggers. “What are you doing here?” he demands.
“Thought it’d be Dick, huh,” Jason says.
Damian huffs and crosses his arms.
“Sorry to disappoint. Guess you’re not gonna get to give him your big wobbly eyes and have him pay attention to you.”
Damian huffs. “I don’t need attention. I don’t need anything. I don’t need you to talk to me.”
“I think you do,” Jason says. It’s been long enough now that he’s watched Damian fall over himself with an awkward, hopeless crush, long enough now that he’s starting to even feel bad for the kid. “I think you need someone to tell you that your big crush on Dick is hopeless.”
Damian’s mouth actually drops. In the dim light, Jason can just barely see him flush with anger. The sadistic part of Jason, the petty, annoyed part, laughs.
“You didn’t think you were being subtle, did you?” he jeers.
“You don’t know anything,” Damian snaps, obviously trying to make his voice deep and intimidating, like Bruce does, like Dick does.
“Sure I do,” Jason says. “I know what it’s like to want Dick’s attention, to want him to watch you and look at you and like you. I know what it’s like to drill that double back, over and over, hoping that someday you’ll do it and he’ll see and he’ll think you’re so cool.”
“It is a useful skill!” Damian protests.
“Not so much in a fight,” Jason points out. “But it’s one of Dick’s signature moves, and you want to impress him.”
Damian scowls at him. “Grayson is a good fighter. He trains me. Of course I will learn his moves.”
“You know, at least when I was fourteen and dumb and had a crush on Dick I didn’t lie to myself about it,” Jason says.
Damian stares at him for a long time. “Continue,” he demands.
“Maybe Dick needs to teach you some manners,” Jason drawls, relaxing back in his hips and crossing his arms.
He thinks that if Damian were in fact the wild animal he pretends to be, he would be growling. “Explain further.”
“Still rude,” Jason says. He can’t help himself. Damian is easy to rile, and it’s a bit too much fun.
“Leave me alone,” Damian snaps. He stomps his foot and turns his back to Jason again, the picture of preteen drama.
“Alright,” Jason says. “But then you don’t get to know how I know.”
He gives Damian a few beats of silence to mull that over. As he expected, Damian doesn’t let the silence last long. “Does...does Dick know too?” he asks, something small and vulnerable in his voice.
“No,” Jason says. “Like I said, I have experience.”
“Experience,” Damian repeats.
“I know what it’s like, to be caught up in his glow. Dick is so bright, and all you’ve ever known is the darkness. He’s beautiful, and you think that if you can just get close enough that maybe you can shine too.”
“Tch,” Damian says, scuffing his foot. “Just stupid poetry.”
“So you don’t want to be close to Dick?” Jason prods. “You don’t want to watch his body as he trains, as he works? You don’t want his attention, his focus? You don’t want him to make you better?”
“That’s just—!” Damian starts angrily, but he comes up short. “You do not know, Todd. No one before has ever wanted to spend time with me.”
“But Dick does. He reaches out, ruffles your hair, puts his hand on your shoulder. And you don’t want him to take it away, not his hand, his focus, his love.”
Damian is quiet, his back tight, arms wrapped around himself.
“That’s why you hate me,” Jason continues. “Because you think I’m taking Dick away from you. But I’m not. Dick’s not in love with you, and it’s not because he loves me. It’s because—”
“Stop it!” Damian blurts. “Shut up!”
“Why?” Jason challenges. “You don’t want to hear the truth? Dick cares about you, kid, but he’s not in love with you.”
Damian wheels around, eyes flashing with fury and held-back tears. “Don’t say that!” he shrieks. “He says... he says he does! That he wants me around, he’s...he’s said it.”
“But not the way you want to be around him,” Jason says. “Dick wants you around to train with, to watch movies with, not to go to bed with, to spend his life with.”
“Stop it,” Damian insists. “You...you don’t know!”
“I do know, and you do too. There’s a reason you haven’t told him yet, and it’s because you know what his answer would be. You know he doesn’t love you back, not like that.”
If looks could kill...well, Bruce would have killed him several times over, but Damian is making a good attempt.
“Confess, Damian,” Jason dares. “Tell Dick that you’re in love with him. Like that. Maybe he’ll kiss you.”
“Stop it!” Damian says, taking an angry step forward. “Just stop it!”
“You’ve pictured it, I’m sure,” Jason continues. “What it would be like for him to take you in his arms. To have him stroke your hair, not just mess it up. To have him lean down to kiss you.”
Damian glares, his face tight and pinched, screwed up against his emotions.
“But you’re not brave enough, because you know the truth,” Jason presses, like fingers into a bruise. “Dick loves you like a brother, and you know that. He wants to take care of you, but he doesn’t want you.”
Damian makes an angry noise and stomps his foot again. “You don’t know! You can’t...maybe he...it worked for you!”
“Well maybe if you get beaten to death by a maniac and crawl out of the grave ten years older it will work for you too,” Jason says. The thing is, he himself isn’t always sure about why Dick chose him in return. Why Dick can look at him now and see an equal. But Jason figures that being dead and gone for most of his embarrassing teen years helped.
Damian is glaring at him. “You don’t know everything,” he says, puffed up with childish confidence, hands on his hips. “You don’t.”
Jason shrugs, unbothered by the posturing. He remembers what it had been like, that desperate yearning, but he also knows now what it is to have, the steady presence of Dick at his side. Not a storm of feelings, but an ocean, rolling and changing, intense and deep, but always there. “You can tell him,” he says. “Prove me wrong.”
“I don’t want to,” Damian says churlishly.
“If you really thought he liked you back, you’d tell him,” Jason presses. “You’ll do anything to get his attention, except tell him how you feel. Because you know I’m right, and you’re afraid. That if Dick knows, he might start second-guessing himself. That he might not hug you as tight or touch your hair anymore.”
Even in the darkness, Jason can tell that Damian flushes at that, in embarrassment or anger he doesn’t know.
“But he wouldn’t. And that’s the worst part,” Jason continues. “The worst part is that he’ll be nice about it. He’ll let you down gently. Because Dick loves you, just not in the way you want.”
Damian’s shoulders go tight, tension obvious along his spine as his head drops. “Why are you saying all this?” he demands of the ground. “What do you want from me?”
“Ordinarily I wouldn’t give a shit. I don’t care what you do. But Dick’s starting to feel like he did something to upset you, and you know how he gets.”
Damian looks up at that, briefly, before looking at the ground again. His arms are back across his chest. “I do not want Grayson to feel bad,” he says eventually, quietly. “I don’t...I do not want to tell him and make him tell me. It will upset him.”
Jason agrees with that at least. “You gotta ease off kid,” he agrees. “You’re not gonna sabotage anything with me, so stop trying. Let Dick hang out with other people. Maybe you should find other people to hang out with too.”
“Hmph,” Damian says, kicking at the roof with his boots. “I do not like other people. And they do not like me.”
Ugh, Jason is not equipped at all for this; why’d he think confronting the kid would be a good idea? “Isn’t there Clark’s kid?” he tries. “Superboy? You hang out with him sometimes.”
He grimaces at himself.
“Jon is annoying,” Damian says sulkily.
“Yeah, well, give Dick some time,” Jason says. “He’s the most annoying person I’ve ever met.”
Damian looks up again, still the most vulnerable Jason has ever seen him look. “It is not fair,” he says.
“Yeah,” Jason agrees, because it does suck for the kid, he’s not totally heartless. “But it’s just...what it is.”
“I do not like it,” Damian says definitively, as though that should make it all go away.
It’s hard to remember, but Damian is just a kid. A kid who’s only ever known assassins and vigilantes. Of course he doesn’t know how to handle anything social. “Sorry kid,” Jason offers. He knows the feeling of disappointment well. “But shit just sucks sometimes.”
“I’m not a kid,” Damian protests.
“Nah, you’re a real grownup now,” Jason says. “First big, heartbreaking crush and all.”
Damian sighs and kicks at the rooftop. “What am I supposed to do?” he asks.
“Just stop being a little shit,” Jason says. “It’ll suck, but eventually Dick will do something stupid, and the feeling will even out.”
Damian peers at Jason through the dark. “How do you know that will work?”
The thing is: Jason doesn’t. It never had for him, after all. He shrugs at Damian. “’Cause even the shitty stuff changes eventually,” he says.
It’s vague, and Damian seems unsatisfied.
“But for now go down and get your mask,” Jason says.
Distraction, always a good tactic.
“Why?” Damian asks.
“Got a drug bust to get to,” Jason says. “C’mon, hurry up.”
The glee on Damian’s face is instant. “Okay,” he agrees, dashing off to the cave.
Jason follows him slowly. Turns out the kid can listen to orders when he wants.
The drug bust isn’t anything special. The goons aren’t particularly smart, far too confident that their guns will protect them.
Luckily Red Hood and Robin are skilled at avoiding fire and at disabling firearms. The longest part of the operation is destroying the drugs. Of course they’re cut with who knows what. It takes them a few good hours to get through it all, and by the time they get back to the cave, Dick is there, pacing anxiously back and forth.
“Where the fuck did you guys go?” he demands.
Damian looks up at Jason, clearly following his lead. Like he had during the operation. Jason can’t help but feel satisfied with himself.
“Drug bust,” he says. “Remember?”
“Damian was not supposed to be out on patrol tonight,” Dick snaps.
“Relax,” Jason says. “I was with him the whole time.”
“That’s not the point!” Dick says. “He needs to listen! One of you could have gotten hurt.”
“Well we didn’t, and the kid even listened to me, didn’t you?” Jason says, nudging Damian with his hip.
Damian takes off his mask so they can see him rolling his eyes.
“I followed Todd’s lead,” he says. “Everything went fine,” he says.
Dick glares at them both. “You worried me,” he says.
“Sorry,” Jason says, gentling his tone, putting his hand on Dick’s shoulder.
“Sorry, Grayson,” Damian echoes.
Dick continues to glare at them for a long moment before he sighs and his posture slumps. He reaches out, putting one hand on the top of Damian’s head, and cupping the other around Jason’s cheek. “As long as you’re both okay.”
“We’re fine,” Jason promises, wrapping his fingers lightly around Dick’s wrist. He leans in and kisses Dick, half a comfort for Dick and half a challenge to Damian.
Dick melts a little bit more even as Damian says, “Ew. Gross,” just a little bit too sharply. But to his credit, he doesn’t snarl or snap or push them away from each other.
“Don’t be jealous,” Jason warns. He makes a grab for Damian, making exaggerated kissy faces at him to lighten, disguise the warning.
“Ugh, stay away from me,” Damian says, pushing at Jason’s chest. Then he adds, “Save that shit for your boyfriend.”
“Okay,” Jason says agreeably, pulling Dick back in for another kiss.
When they pull back, Dick is smiling with his lower lip between in his teeth in the way that Jason knows means he’s trying not to laugh.
“Whatever,” Damian says, rolling his eyes at them. “Be gross by yourselves.” He takes a few steps towards the door, before he turns back around, marches up to Dick and hugs him tight.
Dick wraps his arms around the kid in return, though he looks at Jason with a question in his eyes.
But it doesn’t last long; Damian pulls back quickly and takes a deep breath. “Goodnight, Grayson,” he says, before leaving properly.
Dick watches him leave, still looking baffled. He turns back to Jason and asks, “What did you do to him?”
“Hey!” Jason protests. “Nothing. Just...talked to him, about taking his shit out on all of us. Then I took him to the drug bust.”
Dick frowns. “Please don’t tell me you let him kill someone just to make him feel better.”
Jason brings his hand to his chest in mock affront. “Do you really think I would do such a thing?”
Dick rolls his eyes and says, deadpan, “Yes.”
Jason snorts. It’s fair. “No killing,” he says. “Just a little bit of maiming.”
“Maybe I don’t want you two getting along after all,” Dick says, eyes narrowed in fake deep thought.
Jason ignores him and pulls him in by the waist. “Hey, I played nice and helped the kid. I think I deserve a reward.”
“You do, huh?” Dick says, pressing himself closer. His eyes are dark and interested as he slides into Jason’s space, warm and still sweaty from patrol.
“Yeah,” Jason says, tilting his head for another kiss. He’s glad, as always, that Dick kisses him back.
Jason’s lucky, so lucky, that Dick likes him back. Because even if he didn’t...well, Jason wouldn’t know how to stop wanting him.