Archive of Our Own

Carlos had never been one to complain about things. Whether it be a hard day at work or an illness that was completely wiping him out. He had never once uttered a single complaint, he'd just suffer through it and hope that he came out the other side. That's how his Abuelo had raised his father, therefore it's how his father raised him , the cycle continued. But the past few days had been testing his strength. What had started out as lower back pain had started slowly becoming this unbearable burning pain and the Latino couldn't lie, he was starting to worry. 

"You okay baby?" TK asked, taking a sip from his mug as he watched Carlos wince.

"Yeah, I mean, I think so." Carlos croaked, fingers pressing against his burning muscles. 

"Is your back still bothering you?"

Carlos nodded, slowly releasing his hand from its place against his back so that he could bend over and finish slipping into his work boots. "A little."

"Okay well, your 'a little' usually means it's pretty bad, so come over here so I can check." The paramedic insisted.

"I don't have time TK, I'm already twenty minutes late and so are you." He immediately protested, whimpering as he stood up too quickly.

"You're clearly in pain Los' I don't get why you won't let me check you over." TK frowned.

"Because it's just sciatica pain babe, I promise you."

"If it doesn't stop by the end of the day I want you to go and see a doctor, got it?" 

Carlos rolled his eyes at his boyfriends protectiveness. "I'm sure it's not necessary but if it makes you feel better then yes, yes I'll go to a doctor. But I'll look like an idiot when they say I'm fine."

"Well if it's sciatica then you're not fine, you need pain relief." TK stated calmly, ignoring the sarcasm dripping off his lovers tone.

"Nuh uh, not happening." 

"We've talked about this Carlos, just because I'm a recovering addict doesn't mean you have to go without. Taking a few aspirins isn't going to send me off the rails." 

"I know that TK, but I can't take the risk. Not when you got so close to losing it after your mom." Carlos sighed, locking eyes with his boyfriend as he grabbed his jacket. 

"You're never going to trust me over this are you?"

"Can you blame me? You lied to me about why you went to the fire house the day of the funeral Tyler. Then when the truth finally came out I had to hear it from your dad of all people." 

TK growled in frustration. "You know what? Forget I said anything, I'm going to work." 

"TK-"

"I said forget it Carlos."

The door was slammed in his face before the older man even had time to beg for forgiveness. It had been like that a lot recently, him holding a stupid grudge against TK. It wasn't exactly fair , but at the same time .. TK had lied to him and lying was something he never thought they'd have to worry about happening between them. But he didn't have time to dwell on it right now, right now he had work and work would be pissed if he was any later than he already was thanks to the sleepless night. 

He quickly grabbed his keys before rushing out of the loft, making sure to lock it behind him , the last thing they needed right now was to be robbed. By the time he made it down stairs the pain returned with a vengeance, the force of it causing him to gasp and lean against the doorframe. 

"You okay sweetie?" Clara , one of their neighbours asked in concern. "TK just left in a rush."

"Y-yeah sorry I'm good, we're running a little behind and I must of pulled a muscle rushing down the staircase." Carlos winced, the pain was still wrapping  itself around his lower stomach. 

"Ouch, well tell TK I said hi and that me and Geoff will have you both over for dinner some time this week okay?" She called as he began to walk away.

"Of course! I'll see you later Clara , sorry I can't stop!" He choked out, jumping into his car as she through him a friendly wave goodbye.

It was days like this that he had never been more grateful for the gentle traffic flow of Austin. He'd hate to live in cities like New York or LA when running late for work, sure it must be easy to get away with late starts and lazy days but it wasn't really his style. No Carlos' style was making sure he was always on line with perfect at every little thing. Including getting to work on time and working to the best of his ability. It was when he finally made his way into the station that the pain returned once more, knocking the breath from his lungs just as Detective Washington exited the elevator.

"Officer Reyes? Not like you to be late." She hummed  as she checked her watch.

"I-I know I'm just- I've been having trouble with my back and it's keeping me awake at night. Haven't gotten much sleep so - I know it's not an excuse-"

"Reyes, you don't have to explain yourself to me. You doing okay? You sound out of breath."

"Yeah I'm good, I gotta go though."

Detective Washington hummed. "Okay, but if it gets any worse come and find me. I'll take you home." 

"I can drive myself home." Carlos told her, nodding towards the doors. "I brought my car." 

"Doesn't your boyfriend usually bring you?" She asked him in confusion. 

"He does, we erm- we had a small disagreement and he was already running late so he didn't stick around for me today." He smiled sadly.

"That's never a good idea." 

"What isn't?"

"Leaving on bad terms, especially with the line of work you both work in. You just never know."

Carlos snorted at that. "Yeah well he's had plenty of near death experiences to understand that. It still didn't stop him from leaving this morning."

"Then more fool him Reyes."  She sighed. "I'll let you get started , enjoy."

And with that she was walking out of the doors and out to her car. God he couldn't wait until he could join her, becoming a detective had definitely became one of his main goals recently. That and fixing his and TK's issues. He wouldn't say their relationship is bad because it isn't , it's just a few small things. 

"Morning!" Officer Swift , one of his closest colleagues spoke.

"Hey Mark." He muttered softly, taking a seat at his desk for the day. "We out on patrol later?"

"We are indeed, we just need to get through this paperwork as quickly as we can and then we're good to go man!"  Mark replied, leaning over.

"I hope we get some interesting calls today, there's nothing worse than a slow day when you haven't slept and you're in pain."

"You're in pain?"

Carlos groaned , hand pressing into his side as the pain wrapped it's self around his middle once more. 

"I'll take that as a yes, what the hell are you doing here Carlos?" The older cop exclaimed.

"W-working, I'm here working."  He whimpered pathetically. "I've had it for two days I'm fine, I can cope with it."

"Two days?! Have you been to see a doctor?" Mark questioned, the concerned look remaining. 

"N-no of course not! I don't need a doctor." Carlos snapped. "What I need is for people to leave me be!"

"Woah, okay. Sorry for caring about you."

"I-I'm sorry I'm just- me and TK had a fight and - ow crap!" He gasped, a sharp twinge in his back adding to the pain already clinging onto him .

"Los' seriously man, you need to let me take you home or to a doctor at least!" Mark tried.

"I-I'm worried, I don't know what's wrong and I'm scared that it's something bad. I can't afford to take time off of work Mark I can't!"

"Man life isn't just about succeeding in work! You've got to put yourself and your health first!"

"I've been working my ass off to get to detective, I can't afford to miss that exam it's in two weeks! Two Mark!" Carlos immediately protested. 

"Well you look like you won't even make it to tomorrow man , never mind two weeks  I'm not going to lie! So suck it up, I'm taking you home or better yet, to a doctor!." Mark warned, moving to help the younger man stand, pausing as Carlos frowned. "You okay?"

"I-I just need to go the restroom real quick." 

Mark looked unsure and Carlos had to bit back a cry as another pain came out of nowhere. "I-I'll be back and then you can drive me to TK okay?"

"TK? No I'm taking you to a doctor! Look at you!"

"Fuck! TK is a paramedic okay?! He's more than good enough for now!" Carlos screeched, the whole room turning to look at them as he leant over his desk in pain. "it's getting so much worse!"

"Right okay, okay! Just go the restroom and then I'll drive you and your car to TK!" Mark assured, guiding him towards the restrooms. Nodding to their colleagues to let them know he had it handled.

Carlos felt as though his legs would give way at any point, he couldn't wrap his head around how quickly the pain had gone from bad and manageable to bad and almost killing him , plus there was something wet in his underwear that was sending him bad vibes. "¿Que demonios?"

Once he was safely locked in the toilet cubicle he carefully pulled his now slightly wet underwear down his legs , fingers hesitantly brushing against the patch with a whimper. Blood, the patch was blood, pinkish and a lot thinner than it should be along with some form of mucus that made his stomach turn. "Mark!" He shouted in a panic.

"What?! What's wrong?!" Mark exclaimed, rushing into the restroom.

"I need you to call TK and tell him to meet us at the hospital." Carlos whimpered.

"Wait what? Why? Carlos are you okay?"

"N-no! No I'm not! I'm bleeding and I don't know why and the pain is unbearable." He sobbed, trying to pull his pants up without falling. 

"Oh shit Los'! Right okay it's okay, I'm calling him right now and I'll get you to the ER!"

Carlos isn't exactly sure how Mark managed to get him out of the building and into the car, but somehow he did and somehow he was also managing to help him out again and into the emergency room. 

"Can we help you officers?" A nurse with red hair frowned looking up from her clip board. 

"We're not on duty, this is Officer Carlos Reyes , he said he's been suffering from pain for the past two days and now he's bleeding , I don't really know much else!" Mark rushed out. Carlos whimpering as another pain slammed into him.

"Okay, let's get him a bed!" The nurse called out, a few doctors rushing over her help. "Officer Reyes, can you explain to me where about the pain is?"

"M-my shit! My back and lower stomach and I'm bleeding from down-" Carlos could finish what he was saying because all of a sudden a gush of water was leaving him and he was dropping.

"How far along in the pregnancy are you?!" The nurse gasped in concern. "Why didn't you say he was pregnant?!" 

"I-I'm not pregnant!"

"He's not pregnant!" 

Mark and Carlos where floored by her words. The Latino man was more than aware of how insane he sounded moaning and whimpering whilst he stood in a puddle of what he assumed to be pee. But he had been putting up with the pain for two whole days now! It was too much! 

"I'm sorry but that puddle of fluids looks like amniotic fluid to me! I'm going to page down Dr Foster she's the on call obstetrician!"  The nurse continued to ramble, helping Carlos onto the bed.

"N-no! No!" He sobbed. "I'm not- I'm not pregnant, I can't be okay?! I'm not- I just can't be! Please just let me - ow fuck! Let me go home!"

"If you are pregnant honey then we need to get you checked out! But even if you aren't it's still the same answer! Listen to me okay? You're in the best place you can be right now! The only thing that matters is making sure whatever is going on with you stops and we get you back on track!" The red head assured.

"M-mark I need Tyler." Carlos cried, turning to his friend in desperation. 

"I've called him buddy, I think he's out on call there wasn't any answer, but I've left a message." 

The cop didn't have chance to reply because the red headed nurse was opening up his shirt and invading his personal space. "Oh god." He moaned, the pain returning just as she moved to press her fingers against his lower abdomen.

"Sweetie I know you don't wanna hear this but this really does seem like labour to me. Are you sure there isn't any chance you're pregnant?" 

"I-I don't know! I'm sorry I- if I am I can't be far along and shit! No - god if I am then this baby is  not okay." Carlos spoke in hysterics.

"Shhh It's okay honey! You're okay! My names Mimi okay? I'm going to stay right by your side I swear! Now is there anyone else we can call? You're friend looks a little too out of it to be any support." She stressed, grabbing onto Carlos' hand.

"N-no I - I need my boyfriend." He sobbed pathetically. "He's a paramedic, if he's on a call he'll come here right?! Tyler Kennedy tell the reception!"

"I'll let her know sweetie, but right now you're my priority, let's get this ultrasound done." 

"Mimi, what's the emergency?!" A older woman spoke, rushing behind the curtain.

"Adult male, came in complaining of pain in lower abdomen and back as well as rectal bleeding, proceeded to do examinations when he leaked a fluid that appears to be amniotic fluid Doctor." Mimi rushed to explain moving to allow the doctor access to Carlos. "Ultrasound machine is being brought through from the side room as we speak!" 

"Right okay, what's your name my lovely?" 

Carlos whimpered as the pain returned, looking towards Mark for help only to find the man rushing out with the his phone pressed to his ear.

"C-Carlos- shit this hurts so much."

"Okay Carlos, I'm Doctor Foster I'm going to do a quick ultrasound and see if our theories are right, are you okay with that?"

"P-please just help me."

The doctor cooed in sympathy, nodding to Mimi so the nurse would offer some comfort. "That's the plan, now let's get you sorted out."

Carlos isn't exactly sure when the ultrasound was wheeled into the room. It was probably at some point between his crying and moans of pain, but either way it was suddenly being used and he was being forced to cringe and whimper into his hand.

"Ah! There it is, looks like you are in fact pregnant Carlos, baby looks to be around 30 weeks gestation which means they're a little early, but when baby is ready, baby is ready." Dr Foster tutted. "I'll need to examine you and see what the options are from here on out okay?"

"N-no! No please, I can't have a baby!" Carlos panicked, shuffling up against the gurney. "TK! I need TK here he- ahhhh god!"

Mimi was quickly jumping in, grabbing onto his hand and squeezing. "It's scary, trust me we feel nothing but sympathy for you right now honey. Nobody wants to have a baby early, let alone a surprise baby! But I promise you it's going to be okay, no matter what the outcome you're going to have support-"

"A-are they going to die? Is my baby going to die?" He sobbed, the reality of the situation smacking him in the face full force . "T-this is my fault, I didn't know! How didn't I know?! What kind of parent am I? M-my poor baby-"

"Carlos this is not your fault! I've had plenty of men and women find they're pregnant late on in their pregnancies! Maybe not when they're in labour but I've seen people find out at as late as 32 weeks!" Dr Foster assured, moving to pull on some gloves. "I need you to keep calm and let us do what we can, this baby needs you to have a little faith okay?"

"O-okay- I shit-" He growled, he had barely registered the doctor pulling his soiled clothes down until he felt his poking around. 

"Let's get you up to labour and delivery!" Dr Foster ordered, all of the medical team snapping into action. "Seven centimetres, looks like you're doing this naturally honey." 

It was a funny term to use considering nothing at all about the situation felt natural to him. He was supposed to have nine months to prepare not nine minutes! All he wanted was TK by his side and the chances of that happening were starting to fade.

"Carlos? What's going on man? TK picked up! He's coming I just- he's asking what's wrong but I don't know what to say and - where the hell are you taking him?!" Mark stressed pulling back the curtain to see Carlos being moved out of place.

"He's going up to labor and delivery, you better tell that boyfriend of his to hurry his ass up!" Mimi called, rushing away alongside Carlos. "I mean it!"

———————————————————————————

TK felt as though he couldn't breathe , he'd never been in this position before. It was always Carlos rushing to his aid or sitting at his bedside! he was running on pure adrenaline, completely clueless as to what he was supposed to be doing! The whole world felt as though it was collapsing around him. His mind repeating Mark's words on a loop causing his tears to fall rapidly. 

"Hey TK it's me Mark listen -Carlos he's in hospital- They're saying Premature Labor Tk , he didn't even know he was pregnant! Just please get to the Hospital as soon as possible he needs you!!"

His Legs had been running fifty miles and hour the second he stepped out of the ambulance, Tommy and Nancy shouting after his in a panic but he didn't have to time answer. He didn't even care as he bumped into strangers along the way, he only cared about one thing.

And that was getting to Carlos. He honestly had no idea how he found his way to the stairs at this point , but he didn't care he just knew he  needed to keep going. He needed to be with the love of his life. 

"Woah! Slow down sir!" A nurse barked as he rushed up the final set stairs , running towards the labor and delivery unit. Her firm hand  grabbing his arm causing him to stop and freeze in panic. 

"I-I can't! Please jus- My boyfriend! He's- Carlos , Officer Carlos Reyes!" He begged, his voice hysterical.

"I have no idea who or  what you're talking about !

I will not have you running across this unit!" She snapped . "This is a peaceful environment!" 

"Y-you don't understand! H-he's in premature labor! Let me go!" TK screeched, hands pulling at his hair in frustration. "I'm a paramedic I understand that this is not the place to cause a scene but honestly right now- I don't give a fuck!" 

"If you don't stop shouting I'll have security escort you out!"

"What! Are you really that h-heartless!" The paramedic was seconds away from having a server panic attack, he could feel it. 

If he was going by the sound of Mark's Voice mails he didn't have long to get there , he would miss the  birth of his child, miss the chance of meeting them. What if this was the only chance he'd get?!

"Heartless? No, abiding by the rules? Yes!"  The nurse snapped back. 

"P-please , please just let me go!" He was crying in ridiculous amounts now.

"What the hell is- Are you TK?! TK Strand?!" A voice asked in shock.

TK turned , relief flooding his veins as he turned to face a kind looking red headed nurse, maybe she would know where Carlos was! After all she knew his name, that means she's spoken to Carlos. 

"Yes! Yes that's me!" He cried rushing over.

"For gods sake Karen let the boy through! His boyfriend needs him!" Mimi snapped , shoving the woman off of TK and quickly dragging him through the halls. 

"W-what's g-going on?! A-are you-have you been with him?" Tk rambled , trying his best to wipe his tears.

"I-I have, he's in a right state... refusing any pain relief, only wants you! The only thing he's been okay with is the steroid shot for the baby's lungs." She rushed out. "I'm Mimi by the way, I've been with your boyfriend since he came into the ER."

"Thank god, I'm- shit I don't even know what to think, what to feel!" 

"I think that's pretty understandable given the situation! But that boyfriend of yours needs some love and support right now. None of this freaking out in front of him!"

TK was qualified enough to know that Premature labor was no joke, but he also knew that at thirty weeks the baby's chances of survival where high. That meant they could go through with a natural delivery despite the anxiety and fear both of them would no doubt feel once the baby was born. 

So with that in mine he was able to know along with Mimi's strict instructions. He could do this, he could support Carlos and ensure that he helped him through this... he could , right? 

"F-fuck." TK whimpered.

"I've gotten hundreds of parents through this before, this time is no different sure the baby is  a little too early ... but they will be fine."  Mimi stated.

She knew she wasn't supposed to be making any promises , but the two men where petrified and so shocked by the news of their unknown child... she couldn't help but feel protective.

It felt like hours before they finally came to a stop , Mimi gently shoving him into the room where he finally got sight of his boyfriend. He was leaning against the edge of the bed , screams leaving his mouth as he heaved for breath. The tears rolling freely as the nursing assistant tried her best to sooth him. TK felt sick to his stomach. 

"Los! I'm here baby, I'm here!" He rushed out , running over to take over from the young woman.

"T-TK oh fuck-I-I'm sorry, m' so sorry." Carlos sobbed , moving to wrap his arms around his boyfriends neck.

"Shut up, don't you dare say you're sorry!" TK ordered, kissing Carlos' head repeatedly.

"This is not on you! You didn't know, I know that!"

"I-I ju- I don't want this TK." The pregnant man's tears got worse as heavy sobs wracked his shaking figure. "They can't come now, they just can't." The contraction ended and Carlos found himself slumped forwards into TK , letting him take his full weight. "We can't have a baby! We're too much of a mess right now!"

"But we are, we are having a baby." TK said, biting his lip to hold back his own tears. He pulled Carlos round to fold him into his large arms, his scarily flat stomach barely pressing in to TK's own , causing the younger lad to falter slightly as reality hit him. "And it'll be ok. This baby has been given to us for a reason babe, there is no other explanation for it! They're our miracle."

"N-no It won't! It won't be okay, they're  too early! I'm thirty fucking weeks!"  Carlos snapped." Dios! I-I'm so scared." 

"I'm scared too babe, but we can't stop this . Just concentrate on getting them out yeah? Once they're  here the Doctor , Mimi  and the other medical professionals will take care of them ." TK soothed.

"You trust them yeah? We both trust them."

"But what did I do wrong? Why's she coming now?"  Carlos asked , breaths shaky as he whimpered pitifully. "How didn't I know?" 

"I-I don't know baby... I-I just don't know."

Carlos went to reply, before his face scrunched you and a animalistic moan slipped past his lips. "H-hurts -I-I my mom! I need my mom!"

"I know you do, she's on her way okay? Both me and Mark called her , her and your dad, even Grace, they're all coming." TK soothed , rocking them back and forth. 

Just as the words left his mouth a flustered looking Grace was rushing in . "I brought everything that I could think of that you'll need! Sorry I know I'm not supposed to come in here but I couldn't just leave the bag with that nasty old hag out there! Lord help me the things I wanted to say to that woman!"

"G-Grace?!" Carlos moaned. "Grace where's my mom?"

"I don't know sweetie , she's not here just yet! I'm only here to drop off some clean clothes for you and your necessities."  She sighed, hesitantly moving to rub his back. "I'm here though and so is Judd and the others okay? We'll all be waiting right outside."

Carlos' head snapped up at that, watching as she began slowly making her exit.

"W-wait no! S-st-ahhh please, stay." He rushed out , crying out once more as TK rocked them.

"I-is that allowed?" She asked Mimi in concern.

"Of course, if that's what Carlos wants. I do have to warn you though it might not be easy and if there's any type of emergency you'll have to leave, no matter what Carlos wants... that's the rules." 

"I-I want- I need you to stay." Carlos whimpered, hand reaching out for her. "If I can't have my mom, I need my best friend." 

"T-then I'm stayin'." Grace  croaked , kissing his temple as she and TK silently agreed to support one another in supporting Carlos.

"Carlos sweetie I'm going to check you okay? Little one probably isn't waiting much longer by the sounds of things." Mimi interrupted, Sighing in relief when Carlos looked to TK in pure disbelief before finally nodding and allowing  her to move behind him. Gently moving the gown out of the way as she pressed her gloved fingers in. A sigh leaving her lips as she felt around, eyes looking up towards TK and Grace, nodding. 

"Honey, I'm going to let Dr Foster double check now , but I think you're ten centimetres dilated." 

"W-what?! N-no! No." He cried , standing straight almost straight away. "Tyler  please, no, I can't! I don't want to!"

"Ok, it's ok." TK leant his forehead against the older man's firmly. Grace watching Carlos closely as he nuzzled in to his partner muttering 'please' and  'no' repeatedly, "But Los', listen to me ... when you feel the urge to push if you're fully dilated you need to push. Keeping them inside longer than they need to be will just make the baby sick."

"Don't make me, please don't make me. I don't want to push. I can't." Carlos begged.

"Do you feel like you need to?" Grace asked , watching as Carlos went tense and held his breath. Everyone in the room knew the answer .

The cop only  shook his head in denial "Not yet."

"Well believe me , when your body needs to it'll tell you, and it'll be hard to hold back. You've never done this before honey, you'll only cause more damage... if you need to push you're going to have to push." Mimi pressed.

"N-no I-I can d-do this , I can hold them in." He moaned in determination.

"Reyes , listen to her, you have to start pushing!" Grace demanded.

Carlos only whimpered once more,  shaking his head once again as Dr Foster rushed across the room, now changed into a overalls and gloves . The woman was quicker than anything TK had ever seen, in an instant she was  down beside Mimi  and forcing Carlos to spread his legs once more. Nodding once she found Mimi to be correct.

"You're ten centimetres and the head is just starting to come through your cervix. I'm pretty shocked you're not actually pushing already." The doctor stated in shock as another doctor and midwife entered.  The room was way over crowded, no where near as peaceful as the births TK had been lucky enough to witness during training, that alone scared him to death.

"This is Doctor Irwin, he's the head paediatrician here ...now ,  once baby is born you'll get to have a quick cuddle if everything with their lungs is okay.. but only for a second, then you'll hand them over to Dr Irwin and his team for assessment. I promise you both this baby will be in safe hands." The doctor  explained to the panicking men.

Carlos ignored her however , eyes remaining closed as he moaned his way through yet another contraction. Hand squeezing Grace's as the woman anxiously waited for what was to come next. He didn't want to move from where he was. The small sort of nest he'd created when he had first arrived in his hysterical state was perfect . It was mainly things he'd thrown in a moment of insanity, but now being surrounded by blankets and pillows in the far corner , just behind the bed felt safe and comfortable. 

"I-I w-want to stay here." He croaked , shocking Dr Foster who had given up on trying to gain his response.

"That's perfectly okay, do you want to change position?" She asked kindly.

The police officer nodded , turning to face her as he breathed shakily.

"I wanna' lay against T-Tyler- shit it doesn't feel real at all." He stammered. "I-I just- i- need him closer."

The second another contraction ended, Grace and TK moved him carefully into position. Carlos laying down with his back against TK's chest who was sat with his legs either side of the labouring cop leaning against the wall.

"Grace, hold his leg back .. it'll help with pushing." Mimi stated , taking a hold of the other. 

The other woman nodded , quickly pressing a kiss to Carlos'  forehead as she took her pose.

"Comfy?" TK asked nuzzling his neck before Carlos groaned again, rocking forward.

"No," He  growled " Pressure. Lots of it."

"You need to push?"

"N-no , I - no." Carlos said, groaning again, teeth clenched as he sucked in breaths.

"Okay, that's ok. I got you." The paramedic soothed as he rubbed his back softly. The older man groaned and tightened in on himself again, another contraction starting hot on the heels of the last. "You do what you need to do."

"What he needs to do so stop fighting it and push." Dr Foster stated sternly. "Carlos, this baby is small so you really need to start helping them along , there isn't the normal pressure behind them as there would be if they were full term."

"Are you trying not to push?" Grace asked in shock.

Carlos sniffed again. "It's just, they're too early. I can't let them out yet. They're too little, too , I didn't even know about them! I've been drinking alcohol, stressing at work, overworking I-I've let them down already and they're not even here - I just- ahhh..." He never finished his sentence as another contraction washed over him.

"Los' listen to me," TK leant down as he felt Carlos clench his teeth once again. "Push babe, push."

At first Carlos shook his head before it became obvious that Dr Foster and Mimi were right and his body was pushing anyway and he couldn't actually fight the urge any more. So instead he dropped his chin to his chest and followed what his body had been telling him for the last six contractions. He gritted his teeth and groaned loudly as he bore down, feeling the baby push their way further like they had been doing on her own for a while.

"T-that's it Carlos." Grace chocked out , tears falling as she watched him work.

Each push he curled in tight, his face going red with the exertion. By now he was panting, sweaty and overheating. The nurses kept praising him, saying he was making progress, but Carlos had started to become disheartened. He had been pushing for half an hour and there was still no baby.

"A-ahhhh I can't do this!"

"Yes you can, you're doing it baby." TK encouraged , wincing as Carlos dug his nails into the skin on his forearms.

"The baby is so close honey!  Just a few more pushes and they should  be here!" Dr Foster shouted from her end.

"No they won't!" Carlos sobbed , trying his best to press his thighs together and bury the unbearable searing pain he felt between them.  "I told you they weren't ready to come out  and now they're ..." His words turned in to a loud groan as the next contraction appeared. Without even making the conscious decision his body began to push again. The pain had him continuously  bearing down as the urge came and went during the contraction.

"This baby is coming! Do not argue with me ! I can see their little head!" Mimi insisted, supporting both Dr Foster and Carlos as he screamed out in pain. "You're doing amazingly I swear to you! We can see their hair, they have lots of it, just like you!" 

TK felt his heart beat faster at her words, their baby had hair... they had Carlos' hair just like he had always dreamed of .

"Do you want to see?" Dr Foster asked him gently. 

Carlos took a deep breath and nodded, needing to see his baby was there, just waiting, he needed this whole thing to start feeling real! One of the other nurses  was quick to pick up a mirror and place it between his legs. "Look down Sweetie, there's your little one."

The labouring cop let out a chocked off sob as he saw the unfamiliar sight between his legs. There was the top of a head, his child's head, right there and about to come through. "Dios!" He let his hand travel down and touch the soft hair on the top of their head. Not caring that his fingers became messy with blood and whatever else .

"That's a real baby TK , that's our - holy shit!"

"I-I know baby , I see them ." TK cried softly.

"M' so proud of you ." Grace spoke softly , thumb stroking the inside of his thigh. It was a powerful moment of realisation for all of them.

Carlos' hand stayed exactly where it was as another contraction started and the head began to emerge as he panted like he'd been told to. He cradled it gently, a whimper leaving his lips as the contraction and need to push wore off. The baby was part way out, the tips of tiny ears just visible. His shaky fingers tracing over the delicate features he could reach. Their tiny eyebrows, tiny eyelids, they had their little eyes scrunched up so tight. Then their was the start of their small nose, before he knew it the whole of their head was fitting in the palm of his hand as it pushed through.

"F-fuck... hurts so bad." He sobbed softly , it was no where near as painful as it probably would have been if the baby were full term ... but it was still unbearable. Carlos was certain no part of his body would ever be the same, especially down there.

"You're doing incredibly well Carlos, believe me." Dr Foster soothed , dabbing around his entrance as she helped him hold his his baby's head gently.

"The next one should bring them out."

"A-already?" TK  asked , voice cracking.

"They're so  tiny." Grace whispered in response. 

"Exactly , that's why baby should come right on out.. here we go sweetie, nice big push." Mimi cooed.

Carlos cried out , pushing down with as much force as he could handle, his whole body shaking as he sobbed. Hands reaching down as he felt a pull.

"Ahhh shi-don't pull!"

"I have too! Now focus come on!" The doctor said sternly , holding Carlos' hands in place as the shoulders slipped out.

"Ow, ow, ow." He groaned , pushing one final time before the baby slipped into his waiting palms.

"That's it! They're  here! Baby, they're  here!" TK cried out in joy, watching as the doctor moved to check the gender. "S-she's here, It's a little girl.. holy shit."

The tiny, little girl seemed to suddenly realise she wasn't warm and floating inside her carrier anymore- Because she immediately gave the tiniest and frailest of wails. Carlos and TK both gasped as Grace cried in pure amazement. All of them staring at her as Mimi tied off the cord. Dr Foster smiling widely as she passed her up and on to Carlos' heaving chest. The sobbing man leant down and kissed her forehead, feeling her tiny chest heaving underneath his forearm as he held her close to him.

"Hi baby, hi." TK mumbled as he kissed her creased forehead gently. Watching as Carlos did the same once more, the paramedic pressing kiss after kiss to his shoulder as they both cried in pure shock.  "W-wow you're so tiny."

"I-I can't believe she's real, how did that just happen?" Carlos spoke hysterically, his whole body shaking with the after shock. 

"I'm really sorry , but we need to take her now." A man in blue scrubs , Dr Irwin, if Carlos remembered correctly leant down and opened his  arms for their precious daughter.  Carlos immediately wanted to argue, say no and keep hold of her, but he knew he couldn't. He reluctantly handed her over after one last kiss as TK took the scissors the assistant nurse offered and cut the cord. "As soon as you're feeling up to it you can come and see her."

Carlos just cried softly , watching as they placed his tiny baby into an incubator and rushed out of room. He felt empty and broken.

"W-what happens next?" Grace stuttered , arm wrapped around TK as she tried to comfort the two parents. 

Dr Foster coughed slightly , clearing her throat as she swallowed past the ball of emotions, this was a whole mess of a situation. She couldn't even begin the imagine the shock and anguish the two new parents where feeling.  "We deliver the placenta, Then the incredible man right here has a bath to clean himself up a bit  and something to eat." She stopped talking as Carlos groaned, one of the gentler contractions that would help him pass the placenta starting. "Then we pop him in a wheelchair and take you two up to see your daughter." She finished looking up at the distressed pair.

TK sighed shakily, nodding along with her plans. "Ok. Erm- W- What time did she arrive?"

"2:30 pm,  they'll weigh and measure her at the unit. But don't be worrying , she cried... that's absolutely incredible." Mimi  informed.

"Not many premies can do that." 

"I-I'm goin' to go call everyone for you Carlos, Judd , Tommy , Nancy and Owen are waiting out there for news too." Grace told them as she shakily stood.

Carlos tried to smile, but it felt so unnatural given the pain he was in. So he just settled for nodding gratefully as he gently pushed for the placenta.

"I-I love you Grace, Thankyou." He breathed .

"I love you too." She croaked , rushing out of the room and down the hall. The others were all sat waiting as she rushed out, Judd immediately standing at the state of emotion his wife was in.

"Gracie?! is everything okay? Is he okay? Is the baby okay?!" Judd panicked holding her close.

"Yes! It's a little girl ! She's here and she's perfect!" Judd was utterly silent all of a sudden. "She cried when she came out, weak as hell but it was a cry, and they were both allowed to kiss her before they took her. She's got these tiny fingernails and these long eyelashes and ten fingers and ten toes and the tiniest belly and ... woah, she's just perfect. I can't believe it..." She sobbed uncontrollably. "She's in the NICU but she's a little fighter. And Carlos , just ... Carlos!"

"What is he okay?!" Owen  asked shooting up in alarm. "His parents aren't here yet, is it bad?!"

"No! He's okay, he's more than okay. He's incredible, I just can't believe he did that... m' so proud of him."

"Thank god." Tommy collapsed down into her seat, Nancy  rubbing her back as they all allowed their tears of relief to fall.

"What an entrance huh? Definitely got the Strand genes that's for sure." Owen breathed with a soft chuckle. "I can't believe I have a grand kid."

"A pretty damn perfect one at that, Charlie is going to love her." Grace cooed, wiping at her tears. "She's got a hell of long journey ahead of her before we can meet her, so for now, all we can do now for that little girl is pray."

"I'll call Mateo and the others, Marjan and Paul will be going out of their minds." Judd stated.

"You go do that baby, I'm gonna go and pick  Charlie from my parents .. I need a hug from my little girl."

"I think we all need a hug after today." Nancy spoke in agreement. "But it's like you said, that little girl is made of strong stuff if she's anything like her parents, it'll be okay." 

"Boy do I hope you're right." Owen whispered. He wasn't sure TK would survive losing anyone else, he was barely holding it together after Gwen. 

"She's a little miracle, a gift from heaven." Tommy insisted. "She will be okay, she has two of the best guardian angels looking out of her." 

"Owen!" Gabriel's voice called out, both of Carlos' parents rushing in with fear etched into their features. "What's happening?!"

"We're my boy?! Is he okay?!" Andrea panicked , tears falling down her cheeks. "How has he had a baby? It makes no sense!"

"That question is a mystery to all of us right now , but your son is absolutely fine I assure you! I was there when the baby was born... you have a granddaughter." Grace explained kindly. 

"oh una princesita!" The older woman sobbed. "Can I see him?"

"I'm sure you can, TK will no doubt be out soon to grab Owen , he will send you all right on in." Nancy spoke up. "They're going to need their parents."

———————————————————————————

Carlos couldn't move , the only thing he wanted was to just stay where he was, covered in birth fluids and sweat. He couldn't care less what any one thought , all he wanted was to stay in this safety bubble with TK. But he knew that wasn't going to happen and to be completely honest he was starting to became agitated and restless. He had birthed the placenta around twenty minutes ago and he could still hear the doctor battering on about how amazing he did and how healthy he was looking. Why an earth would he care about being healthy when his baby girl was somewhere else fighting for her life?! For all they know she could have multiple serious issues threatening her. 

"T-TK.." He spoke, shocking himself with how raw his voice sounded.

"Yeah?" TK whispered, choking back on fresh tears as he stroked up and down the older man's arms.

"G-go be w-with her please." 

"B-but I- what about you?" The paramedic stammered.

"M' okay, I - just I can't bare the thought of her bein' all alone .. she's s-so tiny." Carlos whimpered. "I've already let her down enough by not knowing of her."

"I-ok, I'll send Grace back in." TK agreed shakily standing.

"If my mom is there , send my mom ... please I want only my mom." The cop asked softly , wiping at his tears. "She's all I want right now, you and my mom."

"Of course, if she's there I will send her right in . I love you so much baby , m' so in awe of you." The younger lad whispered , pressing their lips together gently.

"I love you too, so much." 

And with that TK slowly stood from his place on the floor , moving in a way that didn't jostle Carlos too much. Not that Carlos cared , the pain his body was feeling right now was nothing compared to the pain in his heart. The older of the two couldn't help the soft sob  that left his lips as he watched his younger  boyfriend walk out of the room. Slowly turning on his side to hug the already dampening pillow close. Finally allowing the tears to fall once more. He felt like a complete failure. He had one job to grow and keep his daughter safe and he couldn't even manage that.  Sure he didn't know she existed but surely he had some sort of symptoms that he'd ignored! She was so small and fragile and it was all his fault because he didn't listen to his body when the signals of labor began to show, he could of stopped his labor and kept her safe for a few more weeks. To makeup for the all the time he ignored he existence. This was all on him.  He didn't even notice as the door opened once more , sniffles echoing around the room along with his own sobs.

"Oh Mijo." His mothers voice cooed , startling him slightly as she carefully joined him on the floor. The blankets and pillows still stained yet it seemed the older woman could care less as she allowed Carlos to cuddle into her ."Shhh it's okay, my boy."

"S-she's so little mom." He choked out, hiccups catching in his throat . "I'm so scared. I'm gonna loose her I know I am." 

Andrea swallowed thickly , wiping at her tears as she wrapped her arms around her baby boy  tightly. She didn't know what to do , she couldn't help , she couldn't fix it ... she could do nothing but sit . 

"That may be the case  , but she cried Mijo , that's incredible, that little girl is already beating the odds. And I bet she's so beautiful isn't she?" She soothed. Hoping to take the focus off of the negatives of this little girls arrival.

"S-she looks like me..." The crying man whimpered.

"Got a full head of black curls." He sniffled.

"Of course the curl gene won." Andrea snorted , hooking her chin over Carlos' shoulder as her son cuddled in.

"G-good t-thing I like my curls." Carlos mumbled with a weak chuckle. "Other than that she's pretty much a mini TK."

"I must admit, Looking like TK won't do her much harm.. he's a handsome man. She'll grow up to be unbelievably stunning."

"If she makes it."

"Carlitos , you need to stop with this negativity! Your daughter needs you to have nothing but positivity and faith!"  

"I don't deserve to have a daughter!" Carlos snapped, shuffling out of her hold. "She's in the NICU because of me! Because I was too blinded by work to realise she was there! I didn't keep her healthy mom! I risked her life every single day I went out on patrol! Every single day I took a sip of beer! Every single day I strained my self working! I do not deserve her! She could die mom! How am I supposed to live with that huh? She deserves so much better than a dad who can barely keep his head above water!" 

Andrea gasped at her sons outburst, this wasn't Carlos, he was always so positive and full of light. She'd never seen him this low before. "Now you listen to me now Mijo stop with the self pity! You did absolutely nothing and I mean nothing wrong! Your pregnancy was a complete surprise to you! You can't care for a baby that you didn't even know existed! The past few weeks you've been stressed but that is to be expected! Your boyfriend just lost his mother , you're both grieving! But you and TK will be fine! That little girl is going to be healthy and out of that NICU before you know it! You just have to have faith my precious boy... we all love you far too much to watch you blame yourself like this!" Andrea exclaimed at him.

"I-I just- y-you didn't see her , m' supposed to keep her safe n' now I can't do that, she's in that big scary place without me and I just- I feel like I've abandoned her..." Carlos responded, sobs wracking his body as he struggled to hold it together.

"Carlos, you can't be superman, you can try... but at the end of the day you're only human. You can't just save everyone and be the hero all time." Andrea sighed. "Our princesa will be fine, you just need to stay positive and remember we're all here for you."

"T-thanks mom... can always count on you for the tough love." The broken man croaked snuggling back into her side.

"What can I say ? I'm your mother Mijo, I'll always give you tough love when it's needed." 

————————————————————————

TK entered the NICU around ten minutes after a much needed hug from his friends and family, hands shaking as he tried his best to hold his tears at bay. He was in a terrible state, all he could focus on was the fear, the fear that something bad would happen. Whether it be happening to Carlos , to himself   or too their precious little girl . It scared him to think that somewhere in that room was his tiny girl, hooked up to monitors and trying her best, fighting her hardest. She was going to be a fighter. TK was sure of that.

"Mr Reyes?" Dr Irwin asked in a soft tone , TK just now noticing the British accent thick in his tone. It seemed the Doctor had spotted him easily. In all honesty he  could barely remember him being in room at the time of the birth , he just knew this was the man who came over and took their girl away with him. "I-it's Strand actually , where is she?"

The Doctor only smiled softly and began to walk to the back of the room, TK trailing behind him anxiously.  "My apologies, I just assumed you was married , my mistake. I shouldn't have assumed. She's just over here. But I need to warn, you really do need to prepare yourself . She's very fragile right now, she's all cleaned up, but you will notice her skin is very thin,  so she looks very pink and shiny. It can be unsettling if you're not expecting it ... all that hair makes her look a little less poorly which honestly makes it a little easier to see, it's beautiful really. She has a few tubes and wires surrounding her. She has nasal oxygen and a heart rate monitor and an IV in her hand. We know it looks cruel but it's honestly the best way. She's breathing well but she may suffer from apnoea ..."

"Apnoea? What's that?"

"It's a condition that's very common among premature babies , it causes issues with their respiratory system." The doctor began explaining.

"So in simpler terms that would mean?..." TK asked, all of his medical knowledge was buried deep within the worrisome thoughts. 

"She may stop breathing in her sleep ..."

"WHAT?"

"Don't panic, she'll be okay... we have staff working around the clock to ensure the best care possible . She'll be in safe hands I swear to you." 

"What do you do to her if it happens?" TK whimpered, his heart was breaking for his baby.

"It's really not that complicated and won't cause her any harm at all Mr Strand. All we do is move them slightly and then they start breathing again. If she's still susceptible when we send her home she'll come home with a mat that you place under her mattress as she sleeps , it's connected to a monitor that sets off an alarm if she stops breathing. And normally that in itself will kick her breathing back as it'll surprise her. But we can talk more about that when you take her home."

"S-Sorry I just- Doctor Irwin is it?" He stammered.

"Yes, but you can call me Ashton." 

Why was everyone at this hospital so informal? Was it just out of pity because of the whole surprise baby situation? It was certainly starting to feel like it.

"W-well Ashton, I just- is it something we did? Was he too stressed out? Is it normal to be blaming myself this much?" TK choked out. "I know we didn't know about his pregnancy but- I don't know. It feels as though I should have noticed something." He had no idea what made him say that, but he couldn't take it back now . Clearly he really needed to air his feelings.

"Of course not , sometimes these things happen ... from what I've read in his notes , Mr Reyes is a perfectly healthy young man! There is nothing you could have done , even if you had known the outcome of his pregnancy may have been the sam! It's that just sometimes babies work on their own schedule. It all sounds terrifying , but believe me when I say ten weeks premature isn't as dangerous as it seems." 

TK cried freely at that , shaky hands coming up to hide his face in embarrassment. The doctor placing his hand on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. "How about we go see her huh? Would that help?" 

"Y-yeah, I-I need to be w-with her." 

They slowly made their way towards the other side of the room. The staff had warned him before he entered the NICU that the room would be dim. This was because most of the babies in there needed low light on their delicate eyes. He snapped out of his thoughts as Dr Irwin stopped. Taking in the sight as they approached a small incubator with the label 'Baby Girl Reyes, 15/09/22 2.30pm'  TK froze, pausing in movement as he took in a shaky breath.

"Here she is..." Ashton smiled.

He let out a sob and a hand flew to cover his mouth when he got his first proper look at her. His other hand shakily resting on the top of the incubator as his chest begin to tighten and heave. The sobs taking over as they wracked his body. She was so tiny, so fragile, so helpless. She lay there with her chest rapidly rising and falling, her little arms flailing occasionally and the small noises that would be a lot stronger with a baby who was full term, still trying to escape her tiny body. He couldn't help the wet chuckle that escaped his lips.

"A-already findin' her voice.." He whispered.

He slowly moved over to the sink, not once taking his eyes off of his daughter and Dr Irwin as he checked her over. Making sure to scrub his hands clean of any dirt before walking back over and slipping his hand inside of the small window available. It was scary to see her tied up to so many machines. All of the wires making her seem so much smaller than she already was. 

"She weighs just over three pounds and is twelve inches long ..." Dr Irwin informed him.

"Three pounds is so tiny." The paramedic sniffled.

"But a good weight for a prem, so far she's doing much better than expected for a baby born at her gestation. You should be proud."

"She's got one amazing dad back in that room, she gets the strength from him... m' not too good at keepin' it together lately." TK replied. "I recently lost my mom and I've kind of been a mess ever since."

"I'm very sorry for your loss." The doctor spoke sincerely. "But I wouldn't doubt yourself too much Mr Strand... you're keeping it together pretty well compared to some. If anything you should be in a much worse state , given the element of surprise."

"I appreciate it doc, but I'm gonna have to disagree! If I was keeping it together I wouldn't be flooding the floor with my tears." TK replied softly before turning his attention turning back to his tiny baby girl. His tiny baby girl who was currently nuzzling into his finger with soft whimpers. She was the spitting image of him, the only things she seemed to have inherited from Carlos was her curls. The pile of hair on top of her head seemed almost bigger than her actual head itself which was insane to him.  They could only pray that she'll grow into it.

"Hi Princess ... god you're so beautiful , it's crazy just how beautiful, do you know that? I'm so glad you're here, shocked , beyond shocked in fact .. but so glad. Sure it'd probably have been better if you could have been here a little bit later, but we love you so much it's just so amazing that you're here right now." The small girl slowly turned her head towards his fingers and snuffled. The interaction causing TK to chuckle softly. "There you are , I'm here, you're not alone. I'm your daddy, that feels really weird to say... your other daddy is downstairs right now. He needed some rest after delivering you , he did such a good job didn't he? I swear to you  he'll be up here as soon as he can. He wants to see you , tell you how much he loves you... so does your Abuela! Gosh she can't wait to give you cuddles some day and trust me on this baby girl , her cuddles make everything better. Then there is your Abuelo and your Grandpa Owen, your aunts and uncles ... wow so many people are waiting to meet you! Though , I wish you could of met your nana, she would of been the best grandparent in the world trust me, you would have had her wrapped around your little finger. Part of me kind of thinks you're a gift from her little one, a reason for us to keep going. I have to say, you're the  most perfect gift I've ever receive. Our little miracle, you just need to keep fighting for us ok? And we will be  right here with you , I promise you that. We will stay by your side every second until you're home, you have to make it home baby girl, you have to." 

Smiling sadly, He  leant down and pressed his lips to the plastic surface, knowing he couldn't kiss her just yet. But that was enough , cradling her head gently in his palm as he did.

"Mr Reyes and the grandparents are more than welcome to visit later on Mr Strand, visiting finishes at around 8:30 , they have time." Dr Irwin explained.

"T-that's great, Thankyou." TK nodded. "I should head back down.. god why does it all feel so cruel?"

"Because she's your baby, I'd be worried if you didn't feel some form of emotion leaving. It's all normal I assure you. You're allowed to worry." 

"I've known about her existence for less than three hours and already she's more important than my life.. crazy how that works isn't it?" 

The doctor smiled warmly. "Believe me, having a child is like living with your heart outside of your body... I'd get used to this feeling."

"There's no other feeling I'd rather get used to." 

"I'll make sure a nurse provides you with as many updates as possible. You don't have to worry about that Mr Strand."

"It's TK, call me TK."

———————————————————————————

"Mom?" Carlos whispered, slowly opening his eyes as he awakened from a much needed nap.

"Yes Mijo?" Andrea cooed.

"C-can you help me to the bed? I don't want everyone seeing me on the floor like this, I know they're waiting to come in here. Especially dad."

"Of course I can, move slowly okay?"

Carlos nodded, whimpering as he moved slightly and caused an unbearable shooting pain through his already aching body. "S-slowly it is."

"Careful Mi amor, what did I say?" His mother sighed, arm wrapping around his waist as they finally stood up from the floor.

"I-I'll call a nurse in." He spoke shakily, nodding towards the mess of dirty sheets and pillows.

"Don't you worry about that, I've got it." Andrea cooed. "You just focus on getting settled, I'm sure TK will be back soon."

"Do you think she's okay?" Carlos mumbled. "The longer he's gone the more anxious I'm getting." 

"I don't know Mijo, but for now you need rest so why don't you try sleep? That short twenty minutes on the floor won't of helped much." 

"She needs a name." He gasped, turning to look at her. "She can't be baby girl forever, she needs - no she deserves a name if something is to happen to her. She can't be buried nameless." 

"Carlos!" Andrea gasped. "I will not have you thinking that way!"

"How else am I supposed to think?! It's not like I can go up there and see her is it?!"

"Well you might be able to if you get some rest! There is always a solution to a problem!"

"I can't rest until I know she's okay!"

"Woah! Carlos calm down baby, it's okay." TK's voice sounded , the older man looking up to see his boyfriend rushing over. 

"I-I need to see her TK." He whimpered, a soft sob releasing from his throat as he clung onto the paramedic. "I-it's not fair."

"No, no it's not fair and the doctor has said you're more than welcome to see her when you feel ready." TK soothed . "But you need to rest Los' I'm not letting you go see our little girl in this state."

"I-I just don't know why this happened Tyler? Why us? We aren't ready to raise a child ... I feel like a complete failure." Carlos cried. 

"You're not , you're an amazing human. What you did today? I can't even begin to imagine doing that, you was insane baby, I'm so proud of you and that little girl up there? As unexpected as she is, she's the biggest blessing we have ever received. She's a gift from heaven I'm sure of it, she's a gift from my mom to help us keep going. To help us fight for one another... she's amazing Los'." 

"I never thought of it like that... your mom did always say  we'd make beautiful kids huh? Dios, she could of given us a little warning though. I know I'll be fine once I see her but I just- it feels so crazy and surreal." 

TK chuckled wetly . "You know what my mom was like babe, she always said surprises were the best."

"Yeah... h-how is the baby though? What did the doctor say? Is she healthy?" 

"She's perfect... honestly she's so beautiful babe. I took some pictures for you." The younger man said smiling widely.

"A-she's ok? T-there's no issues?" Carlos quizzed in concern, moving over so his boyfriend could join him in the soft bed of fresh pillows and blankets.

"So far no... well at least not anything serious. The doctor said she has something called sleep apnea, which basically means she may stop breathing' in her sleep-"

"W-what?" The older sobbed, chest heaving as he listened to his boyfriends words. 

"No! No it's ok, the doctor told me it's ok... she'll be fine they just need to move her and she'll breathe again. I know it's scary but so far there is nothing else wrong with her , she's absolutely perfect babe. You did so good." TK cooed in comfort.

"C-can I see the picture?"

"Here babe... look at her that's your little girl right there, our little girl." 

The younger man held his phone in front of Carlos, Andrea carefully moving over so she too could have a little look at the princess.

"I-it's kills me knowing s-she's all alone up there." Carlos  voiced, fingers stroking over the image of his baby. "She must be so scared."

"She's not alone baby, she's with Doctor Irwin and a lovely nurse called Kelsey... plus you'll be with back with her soon." 

"I-I know... wow, she's so perfect." He mumbled. "I was so sure she'd look so sick. But she's like a little baby doll, so beautiful."

"She really is." His mother agreed softly. "Absolute perfection Mijo." 

"Stunning little love..." TK hummed, wiping at his eyes. "She's pretty alert too which is a shock. She was moving around and grunting.. she's doing well." 

"Going to be a loud mouth like her daddy then huh?" Carlos giggled softly. "Typical Strand."

"Hey! She may have the Strand looks but if anything I'm hoping she gets the Reyes charm."

"Oh is that so?" Andrea chuckled.

"I mean, the Reyes charm is what won me over and gave me the love of my life ... so yeah, it is so." 

Carlos hummed in appreciation, turning his head to peck the younger man's lips gently. "If I sleep for at most an hour , can we please go to her?"

"That sounds like a fair enough deal, I'll go with it."

"Thankyou." The older man whispered before turning slightly to cuddle into his chest. 

TK only smiled, pressing a gentle kiss to the man's sweat soaked curls as almost instantly the older man's breathing fell heavy with sleep. He made sure he was  careful when grabbing his phone from the sleeping man's lap. He would sit there uncomfortable and achy for hours if it meant Carlos was resting.  "Can you believe this happened?" He whispered to Andrea as she watched on.

"No, no I can't." She breathed. "I always knew you two would have children one day, but I wasn't expecting it to be so sudden, so soon." 

"Me either, if anything we have so much to work on right now and the baby is just adding to the list of learning we need to embark on." 

"What exactly has been going on with you two TK? My boy won't say much about the issue, but I can sense it's something that bothers him."

TK sighed shakily, a gentle hand moving to brush a stray curl that was stuck against Carlos' forehead. "The day of my mom's funeral I made a mistake, I lied to him about it and now he can't trust me." He paused. "You're aware of my past addiction right?"

"Some what, as I said, Carlos never says much about his private life. He'd much rather us know the good rather than the bad." Andrea soothed. "But we do not hold it against you, everyone has a past."

"I appreciate that, but I almost lost my sobriety that day Andrea, that's the mistake I made, I snuck out to work behind his back and almost caved in the back of the ambulance. The worst part of it is , I know I would have done it if my dad hadn't came in."

"Oh TK..." She cooed in sympathy. "I'm assuming by saying you lied , you mean you didn't tell Carlitos about any of this?"

"He asked me where I went and I lied and said I went to clear my head." TK stated. "I should of told him I almost relapsed."

"Yes, you should have." Andrea paused. "But I can imagine how hard it must have been for you to admit, after all, Carlos is the main reason you manage to stay afloat... I can understand why you wouldn't want him to know Mijo." 

TK teared up at that. "I'd rather him hate him, than be disappointed in me."

Andrea hummed, before slowly standing from the chair. "I don't think he's disappointed, I think he's scared and hurt that you beloved he would be. It'll work itself out Mi amor, you love each other , that's all that matters in the end."

"Thankyou."

"No need to thank me.. all I ask is that you love them both with everything in you. Now , I best go, I'm sure Gabriel is driving them all insane out there. I'll let him know that he can visit after Carlitos has seen his daughter... if that's okay?" 

"Of course it is." 

Andrea nodded gratefully, bending down to place a soft kiss to her son's forehead before taking her exit. Once again leaving TK alone with only his thoughts.

———————————————————————————

It's safe to say when Carlos woke up hours later he was more than stressed out. Visiting in the NICU would be ending soon and that meant he would have to leave his baby girl sooner than he'd like. "Why didn't you wake me up? I said no longer than an hour TK, our daughter has been up there on her own for hours!" He snapped.

"Because you needed rest Carlos, I know you're upset but I promise you, you needed it! Can you imagine barely remembering the first time you properly met your daughter because you was so exhausted?! I couldn't do that to you!" TK argued, pausing once he seen the tears building in Carlos' eyes. "Baby..."

"N-no I'm fine! I'm sorry I'm just- hormones?" Carlos blubbered, wiping at his face. "I-I just want to see her please, please just take me to her."

"We're going right now I promise you, I just need to know if you want the wheelchair or not."

"N-no I'll walk, the pain I feel makes me feel less guilty that's she's stuck in there because of me."

TK paused his movements. "Carlos..."

"I know , I know , it's not my fault , I didn't know , I can't blame myself for any of it." He choked out. "But she's my baby TK, my baby I gave birth to. It's normal for me to blame myself isn't it? In a few months maybe I won't , but for now, for now I am."

"I wish I could help you..." The younger man cooed, rushing to pull the other man close to him.  "Help both of you, you're my family."

"You're helping just by being here TK , honestly I thought you'd run. You're already dealing with so much, I thought this would tip you over the edge." 

"I'd never leave you Carlos.."

"You've left me before, not that I'm using it against you, but you have and I understand. Sometimes things get too much and you need to run in order to protect your sobriety."  Carlos whispered, burying his face into TK's neck.

"I'll always regret that you know?" TK sighed. "That's why you can be sure I'll never do it again Carlos."

"I trust you TK, I do." The older man sighed. "The argument we had this morning should have never happened , I was just upset and I was scared-"

"It doesn't matter now baby, all that matters right now is that tiny girl upstairs who has stolen my heart and turned into the most important person in my life."

"You mean that?"

"I do, I love you so much Carlos, both of you."

Carlos sniffled pressing a firm kiss the younger man's lips. "I love you too." 

"Now why don't we finally go and see our little girl together , yeah?"

Walking into the NICU was like walking into his worst nightmare. Carlos couldn't help but hold his breath as he walked slowly and steadily with TK's help, over towards a small incubator in the back of the dimly lit room. 

"Here she is..." TK breathed , slowly lowering Carlos down into the chair beside the plastic case.

The sight of his tiny girl hooked up to all those beeping machines was enough to have the police officer in tears. "H-hi baby girl, I'm here , I'm sorry it took me so long." He whimpered , hand pressing against the plastic. He had already washed his hands before coming over but he didn't feel confident enough in touching her just yet. 

"All her vitals are good! She's coping very well , you're lucky. The first hours of a NICU baby are the most vital and she's sailing through them." A kind nurse spoke, placing the clipboard back in its holder.

"This is Kelsey, she's the nurse who will be with baby girl during her time here." TK quickly introduced.

"N-nice to meet you." Carlos choked out, though his attention never left his daughter.

"You too Mr Reyes, I'll leave you three alone, just be sure to sign out when you leave." She smiled.

"She seems kind." The older man spoke as he heard her walk away. "I'm glad she has a nice nurse."

"Yeah... isn't she just amazing? I sat here in complete awe of how we managed to make someone so perfect and precious." The paramedic murmured. "All the bad things I've done in my life always seemed to plague my mind, even after I met you... but seeing her and meeting her ... they all seem like a distant memory to me now." 

Carlos smiled softly at that, free hand reaching out to squeeze the younger mans. "She's our gift from heaven, like you said, she's exactly what we needed to help us fight through all the heartache." 

"Y-yeah, about that?"

"Hmm?"

"I think I have an idea for her name." TK spoke hesitantly. 

"You do? What is it?" Carlos asked curiously, turning to look up at his boyfriend. 

"Nevaeh, It's heaven spelt backwards. It was my mom's favourite name for Jonah if he had turned out to be a girl , she told me a while back." 

"That's- wow." 

"You hate it don't you? It's okay we don't have to use it, it was just a suggestion."

Carlos frowned, immediately pressing his lips to the back of TK's hand. "No! No I love it , it's perfect TK, more than perfect in fact.. i was just in shock at how beautiful it is.. in fact I have a middle name we can use that'll go great." 

"You do?" TK smiled widely.

"I do, how do you feel about Nevaeh Grace? It's just - i feel like after today that woman more than deserves to be a apart of her name , she was already my best friend but after today... she's so much more than that you know? She's a sister, I wouldn't have gotten through half the crap I have the past few months without Grace, she's the best." 

"I couldn't agree more. I think she'll be honoured to be included in her name baby." 

The older man smiled at that, shakily opening the small window to the incubator so he was able to final slip his finger inside. "Do you like that princessa? Do you like your name? Nevaeh Grace Reyes-Strand."

The small girl responded by grabbing onto his finger in the tightest grip and the moment was one Carlos knew he would never forget. 

"I think that's a yes..." TK chuckled wetly, pressing a kiss to the older man's curls as they both cried tears of joy for the first time all day. 

"Welcome to the world Nevaeh..." 

———————————————————————————

It was only a week after Nevaeh's birth and here they where , all packed and ready to leave the hospital. The only issue was ... they where leaving without her. Carlos felt sick to his stomach at the thought of leaving his baby, but Grace had promised him she would take turns with them in sitting with her. The doctors had even allowed little Charlie in with her , apparently they're firm believers in the more love she feels , the harder she will fight. 

"W-we, shit we need to go see her before Marjan gets here that only leaves us forty minutes!" Carlos stressed , pacing back and forth as TK watched with concern. "Why didn't you come earlier?! You knew the schedule for today!" 

"Babe you know I was with my dad  , I had to sort things out! I need to go off on paternity leave and that meant dealing with a load of paper work!" 

"Still! How many times did you promise we'd get at least an hour with her today?"

"A lot I know, I'm sorry baby it just slipped my mind. I didn't mean to be so late I promise." TK sighed.

"Slipped your mind? Wow I wish it would slip my mind- ow!" Carlos winced , a shooting pain sending daggers into his spine.

The pain he was feeling down bellow had eased off after three days , although not completely some of the after pains had the habit of  shocking the life out of him. He knew it shouldn't be like that , he should be in agony for weeks , it only proved just how tiny their little girl was ... it felt like he had just lost his virginity not given birth.

"Carlos, baby sit down." The younger man instructed. "You're hurting yourself." 

"No! Honestly TK, I already told you I don't need the wheelchair fuck off!" 

"Fine! I'll meet you up there , seems as you're so capable." TK snapped , storming out of the room, taking Carlos' bag along with him. He may be pissed off but he didn't want Carlos straining himself trying to carry everything.

"Oh for- TK stop!" Carlos cried , rushing out of the room after him. "M' sorry Ty, shit I'm sorry." He panted finally catching up to his boyfriend.

"I'd say it's okay but it's not ... I love you, but you need to remember you're not the only one feeling like this. We all want her home with us baby. Just please don't start pushing me away. This isn't you! You don't curse, you don't shout, it's worrying me."

"I love you too and I know , I'm just hormonal

and exhausted and just-  there's no excuse to take it out on you."  Carlos sobbed. "I'm just so scared that if we walk out those doors today it's going to be the last time we ever see her or get to be with her."

"Come here'." TK cooed, opening his arms to allow the older to snuggle in closely to him. "I wish I could take away some of the fear baby.. but honestly I feel the same way. We don't know what comes next and every new day with her is a blessing in itself. But we have to have faith .. she needs us on her side , fighting along with her. She will come home with us someday Los' I have hope in that and so should you."

"I-I'm trying, all I'm doing is trying.."

"That's all I ask , but right now I think you need some time with a certain little Princess, am I right?"

Carlos nodded , pecking his lips quickly with a soft smile. Walking over to the elevator doors and pressing the upwards arrow. He felt sick with guilt , all he had done for the past week was snap at TK and anyone else for that matter. "Thankyou for putting up with me. I know I'm a mess right now." 

"I'm not putting up with you Carlos, you just gave birth to my baby... in let's just say - more than stressful circumstances. I think you're entitled to a freak out or two." TK assured him with a sigh.

The elevator dinged , doors slowly opening as the two stepped in. Smiling at the nurse who exited.

"Still, I know you're hurting too. I know you're just as worried, yet I keep acting like a raging lunatic all the time." 

"You carried her Carlos , she literally grew in you, all of this emotion is the hormones that came along with her! I'm not holding any grudges, this will pass baby and you'll be back to your normal self. The only difference being you're a dad now." TK said wrapping his arm around him securely. 

"I-I miss her..." Carlos whispered pitifully. "Every second I'm not with her I miss her, I can't explain it, it's like my body knows she no longer inside of me.. even if I wasn't aware, my body was." 

"I get that, it makes a lot of sense. But she's okay Carlos, she's here and she's out in the world ... sure it's a little too early but so far she's doing amazing."

"Amazing? Really? I feel so shitty that i haven't been able to see her much the past two days."

"Los' you need to stop feeling so bad , you aren't superman as your mom likes to say! You can't be there every second." TK insisted. "You had a high temperature! You wasn't allowed in NICU until it went down and even when it did, it rose again."

"Ok, I know I just-I'll shut up now  okay? you win." Carlos mumbled , smiling softly at TK's small cheer of victory.

They came to a stop and both exited the elevator , both of them pausing to take a few calming breaths before they made their way towards the NICU." I hate this place." The older man whispered.

"You and me both..." TK muttered , sighing sadly at the sight of exhausted parents in similar situations to themselves.

"Hey guys!" Kelsey chirped happily, walking over to them clip board in hand. "How you feeling Officer Reyes! Happy to be going home?"

"Kelsey for the last time call me Carlos, I don't need the formalities." Carlos spoke kindly. 

"Fine , how are you feeling Carlos?." She asked once more with soft smile.

"I'm good, I just wish I wasn't leaving without her." He asked , his gaze wondering to the back of the room where their daughter lay. "How is she?"

"Erm well... she's good but I do have some news." Kelsey  sighed nodding towards the incubator.

"Come with me and I can explain."

"W-what do you mean news? Like good news or bad news?" TK asked nervously.

Kelsey seemed to choose to ignore  them, washing her hands quietly before signalling for them both to do the same. Making her way over to their daughter to quickly do a few checks.

"Seriously you can't just say something like that then walk away!" TK growled , storming over once he dried his hands.

"I'm sorry it's just not something I want to tell you without you seeing her first." The young nurse answered.

"So what? What's going on?" Carlos demanded eyes locking on his daughter. Noticing how still she seemed compared to usual.

"She got a pretty high temperature last night , her oxygen levels dropped and we had to sedate her in order to insert a nasal prog. It's just to support her breathing as you can see it's only small." The nurse began explaining pointing out the tube taped to the side of their daughters tiny cheek.

"Oh baby." The cop whimpered , hand pressing against the plastic dome.

"We think she's caught an infection through her catheter is not uncommon in babies born at her gestation. Babies have an inexperienced immune system. They've not had time to build up their own antibodies to fight infection. Preemie babies get fewer antibodies from their carriers since most antibodies go across the placenta to the baby in the last few months of pregnancy. Most Preemie babies often have intravenous catheters. They sometimes serve as routes of entry for bacteria which is what we believe has happened with Nevaeh." Kelsey stated.

"S-so what does that mean for her?" The paramedic asked , his voice cracking as he placed a supportive hand on Carlos' lower back.

"We've put her on a strong dose of antibiotics, they should hopefully clear up the infection completely within the next two days. In my professional opinion she's coping very well. She's one strong little lady." She smiled.

"S-she'll be okay then?" Carlos cried softly. "I can't believe I'm leaving her when she's sick!"

"Of course she will! I'd say you can probably feed her within the next week or so." Kelsey chirped rubbing his arm softly.

"Really?" He asked looking at her in shock.

"Yep! Dr Irwin said her sucking reflex is coming along great! Honestly you guys have a fighter right there she's incredible."

Carlos' chest ached at the thought of finally being able to feed the small girl. His milk had been in since around day two of postpartum, it had been a shock to him to to wake up with milk stains over his shirt. But it felt good to know that his body was finally cooperating and producing what his baby needed.

"I-I can't believe I'll be able to feed her." 

"Well believe it, she's more than ready for cuddles off of her daddy!" Kelsey cooed.

"I can't wait to just hold her, feel her close to me." He whispered softly. "I can't wait to see you hold her babe, you never got the chance." 

TK looked at him sadly. "Not long now, she'll be home before we know it." 

"You don't know that..." Carlos warned.

"If we don't have hope, what do we have Carlos?" Was the response he received. 

"Love, we'll always have love. That's what we promised right?" 

The paramedic shook his head, no matter how hard he tried he couldn't shake his boyfriend out of his state of negativity. It's like the police officer had know faith in the future, it broke his heart.  "We did, but you have to believe she's coming home Los' if you don't you're gonna start spiralling."

"He's right you know." Kelsey spoke up softly. "I know I shouldn't interrupt but I just have to say this- Carlos, no one is saying you can't be worried. She's your baby, of course you're worried. But you have to start trusting us, we're medical professionals we know what we're doing! We will always be honest with you about Nevaeh's condition, right now she is absolutely fine! The temperature spike was a little blip but it's over with! Trust me." 

Carlos sighed shakily, wiping at his tears that started to fall once more. "I'm trying , you just have to trust me on that. I mean it when I say I'm trying okay? I-I just- I think I need to talk to someone maybe? It's a lot of change and emotion all at once. The baby blues are most definitely a thing I've came to realise."

"Whatever you want baby, I'm right by your side." TK assured, wrapping his arms around the older man tightly. "I love you so much."

"I love you too, tiger." 

They spent a little longer than they should have with their girl. Carlos whispering soft stories and lullabies to her as TK watched them both with pure love and affection. It hurt them both to know that after today their girl would be alone in that  big and scary place without them.  "She'll be okay right?" Carlos spoke, looking up at his boyfriend.

"Of course she will, everyone is going to take it in turns sitting with her. Nevaeh won't be left alone for long, but right now Marjan is waiting for us outside so she can get back to work." The paramedic informed, slipping his phone back into his pocket. "Grace is coming up in an hour or two, Judd just texted , see? She's going to be fine."

"Y-yeah, okay." The cop nodded, sniffling as he stroked his finger over the back of their small girls hand. "I'm sorry we have to go baby, I'll be back as soon as I can I promise you that. Aunt Grace will be here though, I know you're going to love her so much. She's the best." 

Kelsey stepped forward, a look of sympathy stretched across her features. "I'll be sure to keep all of your visitors updated on her condition Carlos. You won't be left out of touch."

"I know and I'm so grateful for your support. I know I can be a little insane lately." 

"Insane? No, a dad who's about to leave his sick baby alone in a hospital, yes. It's completely normal to be reacting this way! But it won't be long until she reaches the thirty five week mark and she's safe to come home with you." 

TK nodded his head at that. "Just four little weeks baby, four little weeks." 

"Right, do you want to say goodbye babe?" Carlos smiled sadly, stroking the baby's curls once more before carefully standing. 

"I most definitely do, I'll see you soon okay spud? I love you! You keep growing nice and strong and I will see you in a couple of hours!" TK cooed, Nevaeh squeaking as she gripped onto his finger. "Oh baby girl, don't do this to me!"

"See! She's begging us to stay." Carlos whined, pressing his face into TK's hair. 

"No she's telling you to go home and get some proper rest!" Kelsey interrupted before TK could cave. "Both of you! You've barely slept since your second night in." 

"My baby is more important than rest..." The older man pouted. "But fine, I'll have to leave now though before I change my mind and stand her sobbing for the next hour and a half."

"Okay, let's go." TK sighed, wiping at his eyes. "We'll be back soon Nevaeh, enjoy your time with aunt Grace!"

Carlos would like to say they managed to get out of the room pretty soon after that, but it would be a lie. Both himself and TK where in tears by the time they finally reached Marjan and the car.  "You okay?" She winced. "No of course you're not I'm sorry I just-"

"It's fine, I'd appreciate a hug though." Carlos whispered, allowing himself to fall into her arms as she cooed. 

"You two are doing amazingly, honestly not many people would have held it together the way you two have! It's insane." Marjan praised, pulling back from the hug to help Carlos into the car. 

"We should have her with us... there should be a carrier strapped in and it should be one of the most incredible memories..." He choked out, looking to TK who had moved to help them both. "How are we doing this?"

"Because we know that's it's only a matter of weeks until we do get to create that memory, that's how." TK stated calmly. "Now let's go home , the sooner you get some sleep, the sooner you can come back."

"Then what are we waiting for ? Let's go taxi lady!" 

"Rude!"

They should of expected to arrive home to a full loft. Everyone was there, all carrying boxes of baby clothes and accessories. And by everyone , they mean everyone. Even a few Carlos' colleague's had managed to get the day off by the looks of things. 

"Erm hey guys..." TK trailed off. "We wasn't expecting you, Carlos and I was actually gonna head straight to bed for a couple hours." 

"Oh we know son! We just came by to drop some things off, not a lot, just enough for you to sort out before Nevaeh comes home." Owen explained.

"He had me searching for days to find you guys the perfect bassinet." Mateo complained. "But I'd do anything for my little niece."

"Don't forget we helped you man!" Mark pointed out. "I'm glad to see you're okay Carlos."

"Yeah , I just wish I could say the same for my baby." Carlos muttered, awkwardly clearing his throat. "T-Thankyou guys, you didn't have to." 

"Of course we did Carlos, most of the clothes are all of Charlie's and the twins old things, they won't fit her for a while yet, so there's more than enough to last you." Tommy explained with a kind smile.

"Right, I'm erm- I'm sorry I'm just really tired."

"Did we go too far? Dude I told them we shouldn't have gotten so much stuff!" Nancy groaned.

Carlos shook his head immediately. "No! No it's not that it's just-" He chuckled wetly. "Seeing all the clothes , I don't know- it's the first time I've been able to picture her , here , at home."

"Oh Mijo." Andrea cooed, rushing to pull him into her hold. "This is her family, every single one of us. She's going to come home and we will all be here." 

"I-I know." Carlos nodded, wiping at his eyes as they pulled apart. "I am grateful so Thankyou, truly."

"It's what we're here for bud." Judd assured him, gently patting him on the back. 

"Now, have you got any new pictures of our beautiful girl?!" Paul asked, excitement shining through. 

"We have, I'll let you guys look through whilst I help Los' to bed." TK smiled happily, handing his phone over to an eager Paul. "Here you go."

"Oh look at the little baby!" Nancy cooed, hand covering her mouth. "She's so like you TK." 

"She is, she's perfect." Carlos added, accepting the hand his younger boyfriend offered. "I'd love to stay but sleep will win this never ending battle eventually. May as well give in now, whilst I have some of my dignity left." 

"That's my boy." Gabriel smiled proudly. "Get some rest son, we will take you the hospital later."

"Yes sir, Thankyou." 

TK had never been more grateful to see Carlos so full of hope again. It was the first time the older man had even allowed him self  a second to think about their baby girl coming home and it was just beautiful to see.  "I'm proud of you babe."

Carlos frowned in confusion, squeezing TK's hand as he carefully lowered himself down onto the bed. "What for?" He asked gently.

"For keeping it together, for trying your best to push through all the pain you're feeling right now." TK sighed. "I know I haven't been the best at dealing with things and I'm sorry for that. But it's like you said, if I have to trust you're working on getting better, you have to trust me to do the same."

"I do , I do trust you." 

"I trust you too." The paramedic breathed. "Can you believe we have a baby? Like , we created a whole ass human, it's amazing isn't it? Who would have thought this time six months ago we'd be feeling this happy again?"

"And we'll be even happier in four weeks." Carlos hummed, smiling softly. "I love you TK."

"I love you."

———————————————————————————

Little Nevaeh Grace was practically flying through her time in the NICU. Sure there had been one or two more small hiccups here and there , but she had fought off the minor infection she'd developed like a trooper and her apnea was easily manageable. In fact , it was getting less and less as her tiny lungs continued to develop. Another positive was that she was finally putting on weight properly and they'd even been able to hold her for short spells of time. Skin to skin bonding  care was something that was heavily promoted and both Carlos and TK loved it. They got to take their tiny girl - who was still only in diapers and a wooly hat - out of her incubator and put her snuggled against their naked chests, that way she could feel their skin against hers as a form of comfort. Then they'd wrap a blanket around themselves and just snuggle. The first time they'd been allowed to do this they had cried the whole time while their little Bambi  blinked up at them, snuggling down and enjoying hearing the familiar heartbeat of her Dede and the gentle warmth of her daddy. It was one of the most emotional moments of TK's life. He didn't realise just how badly he needed to hold her close until he finally could.

"Can you believe she's put on that much weight  already... like it's amazing Ty. She's one strong little girl.. aren't you bam bam." Carlos cooed kissing Nevaeh's little hand gently.

"She's unbelievably brave.." TK  whispered in response , leaning over to kiss Carlos'  temple. The love he felt for his small family was indescribable. So many people had banded together in support of them and Nevaeh, it only proved to him just how important it is to be kind. Treat those how you'd like to be treated, that was his new Moto. 

His thoughts where interrupted as Nevaeh started to stir slightly, soft whimpers leaving her lips causing Carlos to sigh and call Kelsey over to them.

"Everything ok?" The nurse asked in concern.

"Here, you'd better take her. She's hungry." He mumbled sadly , starting  to unwrap the blanket around his chest , slowly getting ready to hand her back. This was always the worst part.

However, Kelsey took a step back with a wide smile.

"Nope."

He blinked in surprise at her , the younger woman just smiled, looking at him happily. That only causing his confusion to worsen.  "But ... She's hungry. I need to pump some milk for the tube."

Up until now Nevaeh had only been feeding via a nasal tube into her stomach, strictly milk that Carlos had been pumping daily. Feeding her had been something he'd dreamed of since the day Kelsey mentioned he'd be able to. Only it had been a long time since then, almost two weeks! He'd been constantly checking that he was producing enough milk , and thanks to regular pumping (although he knew his nipples were still unused) the rest of his system was in perfect use and capability. Nevaeh was clearly ready as she began routing in his chest on a quest to find her source of food.

"You can feed her yourself today Carlitos!" Kelsey chirped moving to help him situate.

The young fathers eyes went wide. "What?!"

"You can breast feed  her today." The nurse knelt down. "Only for around about ten minutes though because after that she's actually burning more calories than she's taking in. Just hold her a little higher and let her lips brush your nipple. It's always handy to squeeze a little drop of milk onto her lips. She should still have the rooting and suckling reflex. They where pretty perfect right from birth if Dr Irwin's checks are right." 

Of course Carlos listened in , quickly doing as informed , breathing in sharply as he felt the little girl attach quickly. Looking up at TK in pure amazement.

"W-Woah, T-TK she's doing it.." 

"Y-yeah she is ...  she's so clever, wow." TK cried softly, hand cupping the back of her head. "You're beating all the odds huh? Well done baby girl." 

"It won't be long until you have her home lads... if she carries on gaining weight the way she is , I'd say she'll be allowed to go home in a week or so." Kacey smiled.

"You hear that BamBam... you just got to get a little chunkier then we can go home... bet you can't wait to be home with your aunts and uncles huh? And your cousins... and your grandparents." Carlos whispered down to his daughter as she ate in content. "You've got a hell of a big family BamBam." 

"I can't wait for her to be home." TK  sighed , hands stroking through Carlos' curls as he watched on happily. "She's just incredible."

"Fingers crossed it's sooner rather than later babe." The older man smiled softly. "I love you."

"I love you more... she's really going in! How does it feel? Does it hurt?" The younger man asked in wonder.

"It hurts a little, but I suppose that's normal right?" Carlos checked looking towards Kelsey.

"Oh absolutely! It takes a while to get used to it, but once all your hormones settle and the milk flow becomes a little easier for her to suckle, the nipple pain will eventually pass." 

"Honestly I don't care about the nipple pain. All I care about is that she's doing it, she's actually getting better, she's fighting just as hard as me and her daddy do." He cooed , stroking Nevaeh's cheek.

"Sorry guys I left my jacket here earlier and I just-" Grace started as she entered the NICU. "Oh my - oh! You're feeding her!" She gasped in amazement, tears filling her eyes as she moved to crouch by her best friend.

Carlos was glowing, the smile on his face was one she had missed so dearly. "She is, she's doing it Grace, she's letting us do this."

"It's beautiful." Grace breathed, pressing a kiss to his forehead before looking towards TK who had a look of peace settling on his face. "Another milestone passed , looks like you've got one amazing kid TK."

The paramedic looked to her at that. "You can say that again. The Doc and Kelsey said if she carries on putting on the weight she could be home next week." 

"Thank the lord, oh baby girl, you're so loved." Grace gasped, hand reaching out to stroke Nevaeh's hand. "I can't believe how well she's done."

"We can't either! We never see babies get through their time in here with such ease!" Kelsey stated.

"It's because she has one of the best guardian angels looking out for her isn't it BamBam?" Carlos spoke to the little girl. "You have your nana Gwen." 

"Yeah, she does." TK choked out, wiping at his tears. "Our own little piece of heaven."

The good news continued on, and when the next week hit it felt as though no time had passed at all. Suddenly it had been four weeks , that's how long Nevaeh had been in the world. She had became everything and more to them in a matter of hours that day , and the fact that she was healthier than anyone could of ever imagined when she first arrived, was a miracle in itself. Carlos was more than proud . Not only of her but of himself and TK. They'd come through so much over the course of four little weeks it was crazy! Every new day with his two favourite people was a blessing in his eyes. 

"Hello bam bam..." He cooed , reaching over to stoke his daughters cheek. She had finally been moved out of the incubator and into a normal cot. She was still attached to many monitors and still needed her breathing tube at times of course . But seeing her like this made it so much easier to deal with. It was less scary. 

"Good morning Officer Reyes!" Kelsey chirped poking her head around the corner with a smirk.

"Well hello to you too Nurse Howard, how are you?" Carlos asked kindly.

"Ooo your fancy work voice! I like it! And to answer your question I'm good! Just going' to grab some things then I'll come over n' do her checks." She smiled.

"That's great thanks!"  The cop replied happily.

He loved how close he and the staff working around his daughter had become. It made being up in the hospital every day a little more bearable. 

"Sorry babe! The cafe was so busy! I should have just gone the machine!!" TK rushed out as he walked over. "She okay?" He asked panting.

"Ty, seriously baby you need to chill... she's fine." Carlos chuckled fondly. "I'm fine too, you don't need to be sorry."

"I-I just panic I'm sorry ... just don't like leaving you for too long, especially now that I'm back in work."

"Will you stop that? quit apologising for going back to work, I  always knew it was gonna happen at some point! I love you and I love that you care about your job so much." 

"I love you too."

"Awww you two just melt my heart! Wow I really need a new man in my life!" Kelsey groaned.

"The right man will come along trust me!" TK  smiled , sighing as he plonked himself down in one of the chairs.

"I hope you're right Tyler Kennedy, I'll be holding it against you if you're not!" She warned before turning towards Nevaeh."Right little lady lets do your morning checks hey?!" She cooed , smiling down at the baby girl as she gently removed her blanket.

Carlos couldn't help it as he bit down on his lip anxiously. The small wail his daughter released as the nurse pressed the cold stethoscope to her tiny chest was enough to have him reaching out. TK  noticing immediately and reaching out to grab his hand in support. 

"Alright! Her temperature is perfect , breathing and heart rate is all great! Feel free to pick her up!" Kelsey smiled widely stepping back to allow TK  to sooth his little girl.

"Shhh it's ok bambi... don't cry sweetie." He cooed kissing her soft hair gently as she whimpered. She was still unbelievably small , even with all the weight she had gained she looked fragile. " Gosh, I love you so much." He mumbled.

"So she's really doing ok?" Carlos asked in uncertainty. 

"Yep! I'd say two more days at most and she'll be all yours to take home , honestly she's doing incredible." The nurse assured with a smile.

"That's amazing - oh my - two days?!" TK gasped a wide smile splitting across his face.

"Thought you'd like that news.." she smirked patting them both on the shoulder before walking away.

Carlos just stared down at his baby in awe, silent tears falling as he allowed the past few weeks to flash through his mind. "G-god I was so scared this time a month ago... I-I really thought we'd lose her." He whimpered.

"I know... but we didn't babe. She's  still here, she's still fighting." TK whispered.

"I-I know and we're so lucky."

"Two more days baby! Two more days!" 

Going home that afternoon was the first time Carlos had walked out of that building without a single negative thought in his mind. His baby was coming home, Dr Irwin had confirmed it, she was coming home and they would finally be able to spend a family day together outside of the hospital!

"So she's coming home?!" Nancy squealed in joy as he and TK carried the drinks out.

"She is! In two little days at most!" TK exclaimed. "Our little girl is finally coming home!"

"That's amazing dude! Do your parents know?!" She asked , taking her coffee off of Carlos.

"I called them as soon as we got out, they're sad they're away but they promised to bring her all of  the best gifts home from my family in Mexico so I'm not complaining." The cop explained.

"So you can finally show him what you've been doing in your office room then TK?" Nancy smirked.

Carlos looked to TK. "What's she talking about?"

"Nothing, it's not really a room is it? It's more of a cubical." TK shrugged looking to Nancy with a glare.

"Even still, why is she mentioning it? Nancy?" When the woman looked away and sipped her coffee loudly he raised his eyebrow. "Come to think of it, you haven't been using it, I haven't even seen the door open once since I've been home. You spent all that time building it in so you could help Tommy out with paperwork.. and now you're never in there."

"Well I wasn't working until last week, why would I need to be in there when I've barely had any shifts?"

"Because you love to go in there when you're on call with your sponsor!" 

TK shrugged. "I haven't needed to call him lately, why would I need Cooper to keep me in line when I have a baby girl who is more than enough reason for me to stay sober?" 

"I-you're hiding something , I know you are, Nancy wouldn't have said that otherwise! Stop making me go all  soft! I wanna know!" Carlos demanded with a fake pout. 

"I'm gonna leave you dudes to it!" Nancy chuckled, laughing harder as TK flipped her off.

"Yeah thanks for that! Some best friend you are!" He called after her as she slammed the door shut. "I wanted it to be a surprise, for when she came home."

"You wanted what to be a surprise?"

"Her little room."

Carlos' eyes widened at that. "You have her a room?"

"Well it's more of a cubical but yeah.. It's only got a little changing table and a crib in there but it's -" He paused as Carlos jumped up and moved towards the sliding door, immediately pulling it open to reveal the pastel yellow and pink area.  "Her clothes will have to stay in our closet for now, and once she's bigger we may have to take the living room and give her our room.. but she's worth it right?"

"It's just perfect Ty , you're just- I have no words..." Carlos said in awe as his eyes wondered around the newly decorated room. 

"How about I love you?" TK quipped puckering up his lips as Carlos giggled.

"I can't believe you!" He howled , pecking TK's  lips softly with a smile. "I love you , you're the best thing that every happened to me, well second best."

"Awwww baby , I love you too!" TK cooed laughing, wrapping his arms around Carlos' waist.

"Can you believe we get to bring our little girl home in two days ? Like she did it Los!"

"I know , our little bambi is a true fighter through and through..." Carlos agreed.

"So are you." The paramedic whispered against his ear softly.

"What do you mean?" He asked breathless.

"You are amazing ... god you carried our daughter not even knowing about her , yet still managing to bring her out into this world healthy and strong. Gave birth  in circumstances no parent should ever and I mean ever , find themselves in. Helped me battle with my guilt over my almost relapse , even though you were  battling through post natal depression, saved our relationship by making decisions I was too scared too and just ... you've done it all Carlos. You should be proud of yourself." TK rambled. " I love you so much... you deserve to know how much we truly appreciate you.. me and our baby girl."

Carlos couldn't help the tears that formed at TK's  words. Nothing made him happier than hearing how much his boyfriend  truly loved and appreciated him. For a while he really let himself believe TK  was only staying because Carlos had forced him to by moving him in ... but that was just his stupid insecurities, The paramedic loved him just as much as he loved Nevaeh , they were perfectly imperfect. 

"Well... why don't you show me just how much you appreciate me Mr Strand..." He murmured, turning to face TK slowly. 

TK's  breath hitched slightly... they hadn't had any form of sexual contact since Carlos had started studying for his detective exams . So just the sound of the older man's rough, seductive tone was enough to get him going. 

"Y-you sure?" The already wrecked  lad stammered with uncertainty. "It's only been four weeks Carlos, they recommended waiting for six weeks."

"I know that , but I spoke to Kelsey and she said because of how small Nevaeh was and the fact that my body barely changed at all during the pregnancy , there's nothing that could be damaged or interrupted. A surprising perk to an unknown pregnancy." Carlos chuckled wearily . "I-I miss you... I want to feel you." He spoke again, lips brushing over the skin of TK's neck.

"S-shit me too." TK shivered , hands coming up to  pull Carlos' face to his.

Their lips crashing together messily as TK struggled to gain control. This needed to go slow, they needed this to last... it wasn't often they had chance to do this lately. He needed to steer clear of a five minute bust-which was exactly where he was headed.

"Do you have condoms?" He muttered against the older man's  lips, hands working on lifting the other  lads T-shirt.

"Y-yeah in my pocket." Carlos panted , hands unbuttoning TK's  pants.

"Came prepared." He winked.

The younger couldn't help but groan at that throwing his head back as he grabbed Carlos' hands pulling him across the loft and into their bedroom. The floor covered In boxes of baby clothes and gadgets.. their bed bare of any sheets just a plain mattress. Carlos' milk had been leaking a lot lately.

It was kind of domestically cute and Carlos really liked it in a weird way.

As soon as they came to a stand in their bedroom, their lips reattached as they removed their shoes and socks. Carlos continued his rounds , gasping as he kissed TK's neck and tugged on his hair causing him to let out a loud moan.

"Fuck," TK breathed. "How is it you know exactly what to do to me? You're so good." 

The cop only smirked against the paramedics bare shoulder as he sucked on the skin gently. Using his strength as he tugged TK's pants off. Somehow he managed to get his pants off as well and soon he was pulled by the younger lad onto the bed so he was laying on his back. Carlos couldn't help it as he rocked his hips against TK, craving some friction as the other man  kissed, licked, and bit at his neck.

"I can't," Carlos breathed. "I want you to bad it physically hurts sometimes. Always want you."

"I've got you babe... going to make this all about you tonight yeah? That what you want?" TK smirked.

"Fuck yes." Carlos moaned his head tipping back into the pillow as he steadily took in a deep breath. Shivers spreading through his frame as TK enveloped his already pulsing cock in his mouth. Carlos was sure the younger man had sucked all the air out of him so all he could do was shut his eyes tightly and moan TK's   name repeatedly as though it where a form of holy grail. The younger lad carefully dug his fingers into Carlos' thighs where he knew he was most sensitive as he took more of the other man into his mouth so much that his dick hit the back of his throat. TK  lifted his head up with a gasp and put his hand on the back of Carlos' head. 

The two of them kissing sloppily as Carlos worked his hand in slow stroking motions over TK's aching member. A smirk appearing on his face as he noticed how quickly he managed to pull him to the edge.

"Fuck, fuck, Carlos," TK whined. "Don't - I cant finish like this..."

"How do you want to finish babe? Tell me?" Carlos whispered , hand squeezing slightly.

"Oh shit- fuck.. I want to finish in you.. let me make love to you." TK managed to reply.

"Please..." Carlos breathed, allowing TK  to finally take control and press him down against the bare mattress once more.

He whimpered beneath the younger man , spreading his legs to allow the paramedic above him more access. It wasn't the first time they have had sex  (obviously) but it felt like it was the first time. Which he supposed in a way it was, they hadn't had sex in a long, long time. Plus he had only just given birth a month ago , it was normal to feel anxious. TK could tell the older man was nervous so he took his time, he peppered Carlos' skin with light kisses and whispered sweet nothings into the crevices of his skin. Making sure to generously coated his fingers with lube and mutter over and over how much he loved him. Kissing him senseless  as he pushed slowly  a finger inside him. Carlos arched his back and quickly begged for more. TK did as his boyfriend asked and moved his fingers inside him, scissoring them and opening him up to the best of his abilities.

"I'm ready," Carlos gasped, his fingers holding onto TK's  biceps as he  removed his fingers.

The younger man  kissed him before moving so he was in between Carlos' legs again and applied more lube to his aching member, making sure that the condom was on correctly before lining himself up. TK was slow with it, gently pushing until only the tip was in. Carlos shut his eyes, his grip on TK's  biceps tightening slightly as the paramedic kept pushing in. Once he was all the way in he paused, eyes wondering over Carlos to ensure his boyfriend was ok. This all felt a little too soon. 

"You can move tiger ... I won't break." Carlos groaned , pulling on TK's hips to drag him in.

"I've had a baby TK, I'm pretty sure I can handle it!"

"I don't want to hurt you!" He protested , moaning as Carlos' warmth wrapped around him the further he slipped in. "And shut up you'll ruin the mood!"

"Just move TK please!" Carlos begged, moan slipping from his lips as the younger man finally listened.

TK launched down kissed him  roughly as he did before pulling out of him and slamming back in, repeating the process until Carlos was clutching the bed and calling out his name. He pulled out just enough so only his tip was in before once more pounding into the older lad not caring for a single moment if someone heard , hitting his prostate in the process. Carlos lifted his head off the pillow and clutched onto TK as he did it again, and again. Knowing now where he needed to hit.

"Fuck!" Carlos yelled. "I'm so close baby, I'm so close."

TK growled, low and deep in his throat as he watched Carlos wrap his hand around himself and pump in time of TK's thrusts. It didn't take long for Carlos  to spill out over himself and TK as he cried out , his body shaking with the after shock. 

"Shit, Carlos," TK gasped as he reached his own orgasm, rocking his hips through it and shivering as he finished. Not bothering to pull out as he collapsed against the twenty eight year old.

"I love you so fucking much."

"Fuck I love you too." Carlos panted , too exhausted to do anything other than lay there.

It had been far too long since he had a moment like this with his boyfriend and he was starting to wonder how the hell they had coped! There was so much built up tension released in the space of forty minutes it was crazy.

"That's once way to say hi we're back to our neighbours huh?" TK chuckled tiredly.

"God that's so embarrassing.." Carlos grumbled though he couldn't help letting his own chuckle slip.

"Ah well ... I promised you I'd give you the best first full day back in our place together and m' not the type of  man  to back out of his promises.." The paramedic shrugged.

"That's a very true point." 

"Plus it's probably the last time we're doing that for a another few months... baby's take up a lot of time." 

Carlos sighed happily. "She can have every single second of  my time if it means she's home and she's healthy. Our little Nevaeh is coming home Ty." 

"She is, only two more days and we will be walking out of those hospital doors with our daughter in hand. Crazy how quickly life has changed huh?" TK sighed blissfully.

"It is, I'm so glad she came into our world though, you know that right? I wouldn't change any of it. Not even the not knowing part. The not knowing just makes her even more of a miracle than she already is." He spoke , stroking up and down TK's back.

"I know babe, I wouldn't change a single thing either. I love you."

"I love you too." 

———————————————————————————

"Come on you guys ! We ain't got all day they'll be home in a minute!" Judd shouted around the room.

The whole of the 126 had  used Owen's  key to the Tarloft  in order to decorate and throw a welcome home party for their little Nevaeh Grace . So far Mateo was sat panting for breath as he struggled to blow up balloons, Nancy was sat sulking as Owen wouldn't allow her to eat any of the food yet, Tommy and Paul where bickering over whether or not they where making too much effort for a baby that won't remember a single thing about it. Marjan and Grace where just sat chilling, watching on and laughing about how idiotic the whole situation seemed. Judd was shouting out his orders left , right and centre . And Owen, he was busy trying to convince himself and the Reyes' it was a good idea having the team over.  "Do you think we should help them?" Andrea whispered to him.

"Oh no they'll survive . They've managed to pull through life and death situations before, a baby's welcome home party is nothing." He replied.

"Judd! Shit the fuck up man!" Paul growled , storming away from Tommy to help Nancy set up the tables. "Going as fast as we can here." 

"I'm just trying to keep y'all in line! It's not like Cap is doing much of that!." Judd snapped back.

"Alright guys that's enough! It's supposed to be a happy occasion! My granddaughter is coming home! Please will you kindly shut up!" Owen interrupted.

"Sorry Cap." Paul mumbled , still pouting as he continued to open up the party sausage rolls.

"Don't say sorry to me , say sorry to each other you idiots." The oldest Strand huffed rolling his eyes.

The rest of the group sat sniggering as the two men reluctantly listened to their elder. Paul also taking the chance to apologise to Tommy. 

"The party is a perfect idea Tommy, it's just very stressful trying to set one up with this lot!  Plus I'm just jealous that they actually live in a place this nice! How did they manage to decorate it so well?..."

"Technically they didn't! Carlitos put the deposit down with it all done up like this!" Andrea protested.

"Oh really?!" Nancy smirked.

"Here's us thinking he done it all up just for TK." 

"Is that what he told you?!" Gabriel asked , finding the situation highly amusing. 

"Yes!" The group chirped at once. 

The whole family bursting into fits of laughter at the pure shock evident on their faces.

"Gosh he got you lot good!" Owen giggled. "The only things Carlos added to this loft is TK's things." 

"I can't believe we fell for that!" Mateo called.

"Of course he didn't decorate! When did he have the time?! They're always working!"

"Alright! Can we stop with the arguing now? Carlos' parents are in the room!" Tommy piped in.

"Good point."  Marjan agreed.

"Let's finish up okay? Then we can sit and talk about anything you guys want!" Owen shouted, Judd patting him on the back. 

"We're on it Cap! Let's go! We haven't got long until they're home now!" Judd added.

"Exactly ! Let's get on with it , don't want them walkin' in to a half up banner and one balloon!" Grace stated.

"Why don't we just help? They're getting far to stressed out." Andrea  chuckled fondly. Gabriel sighing before  nodding as the parents set to work. It only took another ten minutes for everything to be finished.

"Thank the heavens that's done!" Grace sighed dramatically.

"Tell me about it."Judd snorted, plopping down on to his knee "I'm pretty tired Gracie you need to kiss me better." He whined

Grace just rolled her eyes , leaning forwards to place a kiss on his lips quickly. Chuckling as he grumbled in protest and chased her mouth.

"There are parents around baby! Plus our daughter!" She protested.

"It's nothin' she hasn't see before!" The older man remarked , sitting back with a grunt.

"Yes well I'm sure she'll appreciate never seeing it again Judd." Owen spoke up with a stern look.

"Go it ." He nodded with a salute  , laughing as shoved Grace off of his knee playfully.

"I wonder how they're getting on? Do you think she's definitely coming home?" Nancy suddenly spoke out.

"They're probably on their way back as we speak... with a bit of luck anyway." Marjan told her.

"Don't say that ... everything will be fine she's coming home!" Andrea soothed.

The group just nodded , each of them floating in and out of their own little conversations as they patiently waited for the little family to arrive home.

Meanwhile at the hospital, Carlos felt as though he was going to pass out from the excitement of it all. This was it , this was the moment they'd been waiting for ... Nevaeh Grace was coming home. She had passed all of her tests with flying colours. Dr Irwin stating how proud of her he was and how he'd never seen a baby fight as hard before. 

All of the nurses had said some very emotional goodbyes to the little girl, especially Kelsey who Carlos allowed to cuddle their little  bambi for a short while. She had been her main care giver , the one who kept them sane throughout the intense two weeks she had in there. It had been one crazy journey. One that they couldn't have gotten through without all the incredible support the NICU had to offer. They where lucky to be leaving today and Carlos was going to spend the rest of his life being thankful for the fact that they had this chance. 

"There we go little one... all snug and ready to go home." Kelsey grinned, fastening the buckled on the carrier  before tucking the blanket securely around the tiny baby's form.

"She such a precious little one." Dr Irwin smiled , shaking Carlos and TK's hands. "It's been an absolute pleasure."

"Thankyou, seriously ... we don't have the words to express what you've meant to us." Carlos breathed shakily , holding TK's hand tightly. 

"You don't have to thank us.. it's our job , we wish you nothing but the best." Kelsey cooed.

"You too." TK smiled , picking up the carrier before slowly guiding his family towards the exit.

"You ready to do this?" He asked turning to look at Carlos with so much love in his eyes .

"Ready." Carlos nodded , allowing TK to push the button and open the NICU door. Both of them taking their exit with one final goodbye.

The tears of relief falling from Carlos' eyes as he watched TK walk ahead. Carrier in hand. Their baby girl safe and healthy as she slept. There was no words the describe that feeling.

"Those best be tears of happiness baby." TK spoke warmly, turning his head. 

"Of course they are I'm happy  , really happy." He smiled , kissing the other man's nose.

"Good." The paramedic cooed , kissing Carlos' in return as they continued their walk to the elevator.

"I can't believe I'm actually carrying her out of here." He  said to the older man as they came to a stop.

"I know... we've spent two months leaving that room without her and now- it's a lot." Carlos sniffled , watching as Nevaeh wriggled cutely in her sleep.

"It is... but it's also the best feeling I've ever felt."

"Me too." He agreed pecking TK's lips before they entered the elevator. 

Getting settled in the car went a lot smoother than either of them had originally thought. Grace had told them about the nightmare she and Judd had with Charlie during car journeys, lots of tears and baby sick. But so far Nevaeh seemed to only prove just how much of an Angel she actually was.

"Can you believe we made her? Like she's actual perfection TK." Carlos whispered, hand stroking over his baby's wild set of curls.

"No, everyone always said we'd make cute kids but I guess I never expected her to be THAT cute." 

"Oh you're so tiny Nevaeh, I can't wait to show you off to everyone .. show them those beautiful big , beautiful, bambi eyes." 

That is where the nickname BamBam had come from, the first time Nevaeh opened her eyes properly TK had practically melted into a puddle of liquid. They where a beautiful shade of light brown and so big and wide with curiosity.. he fell in love all over again. She was the most beautiful little girl in the entire world. 

"What's the bets they've done a surprise party and almost killed one another in doing so?" TK quizzed, looking in rear view mirror for a second.

"I'm getting you 20 dollars, there's no way they'd let an opportunity for a party pass, my parents will be there too, they got back early this morning, Mark let that slip." Carlos informed with a soft chuckle.

"Well the least we can do is act surprised, let all that hard work pay off." 

"You mean let all Judd's hard work pay off?"

"Fair point."

By the time they pulled up into the car park, Nevaeh was already half awake, suckling on her fingers as she let out the cutest little noises. It made Carlos literally burst with love.

"Let's go meet everyone BamBam!"

A very hushed but loud enough to hear "Surprise!!!" Was the first noise they heard as they entered their loft. The wide happy, excited faces of their family facing them as they looked around their surroundings. The loft looked incredible, pink and rose gold decorations littered the place. A big banner saying 'Welcome Home Our Little Bambi!' Hanging from one of  the arches. It was adorable.

"You guys! I'm impressed look at this!" TK gasped , placing the carrier down on the floor carefully.

"So you should be! Some of us actually spent our time decorating instead of buying out somewhere that was already done up!" Nancy chirped with a playful glare.

Carlos held his hands up in surrender with a small laugh. "In my defence you lot just assumed I'd decorated , I just didn't say otherwise."

"Yeah well your mom grassed you up man." Paul smirked.

"Of course she did." The curly lad stated with a laugh, rolling his eyes at his mother fondly.

"Enough of that! Let's show this little girl off!"Owen called from his side of the room. "Pictures aren't enough!"

"Alright alright , just give us a second." Carlos laughed , looking across the room to find an eagerly waiting  Charlie, leaning forwards in Grace's arms. "There's my second favourite girl."

"Ah!" she giggled, clearly loving the attention from her favourite uncle."

"Someone's missed you!" Grace cooed, allowing the little girl to give Carlos a cuddle, before he turned back to his own daughter.  TK smiled at the sight, slowly reaching over to take Nevaeh out of her bundle of blankets. The little girl grunting in dismay as her Daddy disturbed her.  "Sorry baby girl, everyone is waiting to see you is all"

"Oh son, she's just unbelievably perfect." Gabriel croaked , hand resting on Carlos' back once he came to a stop in front of their family.

"Isn't she just? I think it's her eyes, they're so beautiful." He smiled at his dad. "Why don't you have a hold ? meet your Abuelo Nevaeh Grace." He continued, TK gently passing her over.

Everyone watched with soft smiles as the grandfather held his granddaughter for the first time. The love radiating off of the older man was obvious for miles.

"What do you think?" TK spoke showing him the snap he had just taken. Carlos and Gabriel were beaming, glowing faces and obvious smiles, as they looked at each other with such pride. Underneath them was Nevaeh held securely in the elders arms, calm and content with Carlos' hand on her tiny tummy. "Instagram?"

Carlos laughed in amazement and nodded, "Yeah, that's not a bad one."

He leant down and nuzzled his daughters nose as TK sat back and watched for a second before opening up Instagram. He pulled in the picture (and added a classy filter of course) and thought carefully about what to type. He grinned as his fingers flitted over the keyboard.

@TK_Strand : Our biggest blessing, sent from my beautiful mom💫 Welcome home our little Bambi! 

When he'd posted his effort he turned the phone  around to show Tommy who just rolled her eyes. " You're such a cringy Instagramer TK." She paused with a jokey shove. "But it's a beautiful post." 

TK only shrugged not caring for one second whether it was cliquey and heteronormative . This was a moment he and Carlos had dreamed of for months and it was finally here. There where times where both of them where truly about to give up on hope. Yet they never did and he's so glad they didn't. Their girl was amazing , she had been all they needed to feel complete.

No matter how chaotic life may get for them at times .. their family was enough to get them through. His mom knew this would be his first time fighting for his sobriety without her , so she sent a new version of her self, in the form of one perfect little angel....

"Who wants some food?!" Owen called.

"Me! Oh my - I've been waiting hours!" Mateo cried, Marjan laughing at him as he stumbled to his feet.

"Congratulations you two, she's amazing." Paul spoke kindly as he too made his way over to the kitchen. Gabriel passing the small girl over to his son as Andrea pressed a soft kiss to both their foreheads.

"I think that's the first time we've heard that.." Carlos breathed , pressing the small girl close to his chest. "Congratulations."

"Hmm I think you're right." TK hummed. "It's nice isn't it?" 

"Yeah, yeah it is."

"You two coming to eat?!" Mateo asked, mouth filled with a hand full of nachos.

"In a second! I'm just gonna go and feed Nevaeh." Carlos called back, looking to TK. "I won't be long, she's just cluster feeding at the moment and I don't want her to cry." 

"No it's okay, go , I'm sure my dad has made more than enough food." TK assured, pressing a kiss to Nevaeh's forehead and his lips. "I love you both."

"We love you."

———————————————————————————

Sitting down on their bed with a pile of pillows stacked behind his back, his baby milk drink and laying safely against his thighs .. it felt as though he was living in a dream. It was something Carlos believed would never happen at one point. But here he was, Nevaeh had just finished burping and was laying comfortably against him, little feet flicking against his toned stomach. It was absolute bliss. 

"You're so precious.. do you know how loved you are baby? How much we needed you?" He breathed, his hands gently holding on to her own tiny hands. "Thankyou for staying, for letting us be your daddies. I never thought I'd have this with you, get to hold you, feed you, watch you get your first tooth, take your first steps... none of it. I bet you're thinking, okay Dede enough with the soppy stuff, I wanna go and meet my family.. I just can't help but want to stay here, just me and you."

"But I'd miss you both too much if you stayed here." TK spoke up from the door way.

"How long have you been there?"

"Long enough to watch you cuties having a little talk." The younger smirked. "Did you feed okay?"

"Perfectly, we've got one very milk drunk little girl on our hands Ty." Carlos chuckled, leaning forwards to scoop her up against his chest. "Sorry we've took so long I just love watching her."

"It's okay, I was worried you'd fallen asleep together without inviting me!"

"Oh we would never! Isn't that right baby girl? We couldn't have a nap without daddy?!"

Nevaeh grunted, her little legs stretching as she snuggled deeper into the crease of  Carlos' shoulder. 

"Well you can't, this little girl however, she most definitely can." TK giggled, stroking her cheek. "We have a baby..."

"We've had a baby for a month now babe, where have you been?"

"Right her trying to soak in every single moment.. it's like we've blinked and she's already a month old." 

Carlos smiled softly. "A suppose a bonus of her being premature is the fact that she'll always look so tiny." 

"Our tiny bambi." 

"Do you think the others are missing us yet?"

"I'm sure they'll be fine, I'd rather sit here with you two alone for a little while longer." The younger man shrugged, making grabby hands towards Nevaeh.

"There we go." Carlos cooed, passing his boyfriend the small girl before turning to cuddle into his side. "Now this, this is the life."

"It most definitely is." TK agreed, both of his hands holding their girl securely to his chest. 

They managed to spend another ten minutes alone , they barely spoke , they was too in love and completely fascinated with every move Nevaeh made. The baby bubble was most definitely something TK had believed to be a myth , until he found himself in one. But like most bubbles , they have to pop in the end, which is why when a knock sounded on the wall, all three of them jumped. 

The baby girl clearly startled, letting out a heartbreaking cry as TK jostled her . Carlos felt his own tears building at the sight of his distraught child. He hated hearing her cry, it broke his heart. "Oh my Bubz.." He cooed, hand reaching over TK  to grab hold of Nevaeh's tightly clenched fist.

"Where is her pacifier?" TK asked, looking around them in search of the small object. 

"Sorry that's my bad.." Nancy cringed. "I was just letting you know we're all heading out."

Carlos frowned. "No you don't have to do that! We'll be out in a second, we just wanted to chill for a little while is all. We had an early start." 

"Everyone's already headed down to their cars , don't worry about it! Her pacifier is in the carrier if you want me to run and grab it?" She assured.

TK nodded gratefully, Nancy quickly running to grab it and hand it over to Carlos.  "Thanks... okay baby Dede's here, I've got you shush.." Carlos whispered adoringly, placing the pacifier between his daughters delicate lips.  Before leaning back into the pillows as she settled down.

“I’m sorry for scaring her, I’ll let you all rest up.” Nancy smiled softly. “I’m really happy for you both.”

“Thanks Nanc.” TK said appreciatively.

They still managed to have a perfect evening, even with the added exhaustion and lingering anxiety.Nevaeh only fussed once and was asleep for the rest of their meal. It was bliss just being able to sit with one another again and not have to worry about what was happening with her up at the hospital . An early night was still needed of course and they both found themselves fast asleep by nine pm, but they could care less. They had a perfect night, it was around three am when Carlos woke up feeling off, he looked around and figured out why. TK and Nevaeh had disappeared .

It didn’t take him long to figure out where they’d gone of course, the loft was only small and he found them as soon as he stepped out of bed. They was laying on the sofa , cuddled up nice and warm. Tk mumbled quietly to the tiny girl as she lay against his chest. It was one of those views that made Carlos want to pause time and watch forever.

“TK? TK?  babe?” Stepping into the room, Carlos carefully walked over, not wanting to scare either of them. “Is everything okay , she okay?”

“Sorry, yeah.  She’s absolutely fine.  I didn’t want to disturb you but she was fussing a bit and I figured I better take her in her to give her one of the bottles you pumped , you know before she started full out crying and woke you up.”  He tried to give Carlos a smile but his lips faltered.  “I didn’t mean to wake you up, I was just having a little talk with her, singing a few lullaby’s.” TK spoke gently lifting Nevaeh into his arms and snuggled her in to the crease of his arm.

“Oh is that right? Was daddy singing you too sleep baby? He’s the best huh?” Carlos cooed, watching as TK blushed a deep shade of red.  “Did you talk to her about something particularly interesting?”

“I did , I spoke to her about my mom actually.”

Even in the dimmed room, Carlos caught the wounded look on the paramedic’s face. “Hearing everyone speak about how amazing it is seeing her with her grandparents earlier got me thinking, what if she was still here ? What would have happened? Would I have missed out on all of this? W-would she have ever came to be? I don’t know I guess I just - I’ve always said she was a gift from mom so-  do you ever think about not having her? I-I just- I was talking to her about how differently things could gone if I hadn’t lost my mom, but how I wouldn’t change having her for the world.”

 “Oh babe, you don’t ever have to think about any of that. Your mom would have loved her so , so much. And to answer your question , sure I was scared and maybe the thought entered my mind, but what good does it do us dwelling on the past and the what if’s ? Babe we have to enjoy her , she’s here and she’s healthy, we can’t think about the bad anymore. Not when we have so much good in front of us.”  

Nuzzling Nevaeh’s head with his cheek, TK sighed.  “She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to us Carlos, well our relationship is too, but i mean she is a real gift from heaven . She’s our best achievement.”

“Yeah, I know.”  Carlos spoke with a soft smile on his face. “She’s our heaven.”

Their precious ray of sunshine.