Chapter Text
Title: Highgrade and Havoc
Author: Dellessa and Chi_Shiro
Verse: Multi-Continuity AU
Series: Crack
Rating: M
Warnings: Sticky. Slash. Use of Processor Altering Substances. And Waking up in Odd Places. :3
Pairings/Characters: Hot Rod/Optimus Prime. Megatron/Optimus/Starscream.
Notes: Set in the same verse as All Cracked Up . Between Denial and Duct-tape and And the Parents...
Summary: Some bots should never drink highgrade.
Words: 756
Prompt: 4. Inebriated. Let's have some tipsy fumbling ;)
Hot Rod giggled, leaning heavily on Optimus as they stumbled down the hallway. Optimus himself was hardly the stable pillar he normally played. They stumbled, and finally nearly collapsed against Optimus’ door. He fumbled with the keypad, his fingers continually hitting the wrong key. He got it on the third try, and watched Roddi fall inside, laughing.
A small part of Optimus’ processor wondered how wise it was to be doing this. But the other part of his processor, the part that was reeling from all of the highgrade, insisted it was the best idea ever. Ratchet HAD insisted he go to the party. He had also insisted that Optimus was too tightly wound and needed to relax. This was relaxing, wasn’t it? He stumbled inside after Hot Rod, nearly falling over the prone mech.
“Ooooptimus, help me up.” Hot Rod giggled as he attempted to stand, and promptly flopped back on the floor in a heap.
Optimus chuckled, because laughter was contagious, and helped Hot Rod up. He kissed him, causing them to nearly fall over all over again. They stumbled across the room, practically falling on the berth. “Rrrrrrooodi.” He crawled on top of Hot Rod, leaving sloppy kisses across his frame. “We---we should do this more often.”
Hot Rod wiggled underneath him, his interface panel already snicking open. Optimus looked down, and frowned, squinting his optics and thinking he was reading wrong. “Rodimus...do you have...right above...Hot Rod...a tattoo...what the... It says Transfluid Dumpster.”
Hot Rod whined. “Weeeeell, this one cycle at academy...”
“I dun wanna know.” Optimus slurred, kissing him again.
Optimus considered the last time he had gotten this overcharged. He had woken up to find himself sandwiched between Starscream and Megatron. It had been embarrassing at best, horrifying at worse. He had woken up, looked around, and wondered how in Primus’ name he had gotten there, why he was still there, and better still why his enemy was half-awake and feeling him up. Strike that, enemies. Both of them.
“What the frag?”
Starscream had wiggled against him, his systems practically purring in the type of self satisfaction only seekers seemed to find in these situations. “Exactly. Exactly.”
“That isn’t what I---ugh---I think my processor is going to fritz.” Optimus groaned, and then groaned louder when he was pulled back down on the berth by Megatron. He whimpered softly as the silver mech hugged him tightly to his chest.
"You invoked the ordinance of cross faction interaction 68." Megatron rumbled, his chuckle reverberating against Optimus’ plating, and arousing him all over again.
"Too hung over. Which one is 68 again?" Optimus said, squirming, and trying to get away from the claws flitting across his overly-warm frame.
“The one I keep abusing.” Starscream piped up, leaning in and catching Optimus’ lips in a lingering kiss. The tri-colored mech pulled away with a smirk still on his lips. “The one pertaining to any cross faction one night stands that are the result of broken down negotiations that led to high-grade drinking contests....and in that situation the contestants can’t be taken prisoner.”
Optimus opened his mouth, “...” And shut it again, repeatedly, as if the words wouldn't come out. Starscream must have taken that as an invitation and leaned in to kiss him once more. Megatron’s chuckling was doing things to him he didn’t want to think about. Perhaps the ordinance covered the morning after as well?
“It’s so sad that we have such an ordinance.” Optimus finally said between kisses. “And worse you are abusing it.” He paused, then gave in. “Morning after covered too?”
“I am just facilitating peace.” Starscream harrumphed, trying not to smirk. “And yes, it is. You’re covered until you walk out of the facility, at which point you become an enemy combatant again.”
“Peace, right.” Megatron rumbled. “Is that what they call it now?”
Optimus shook himself out of his revelry. It had been a good face. Well, what he could remember of it. He hoped this would be equally so. Hot Rod squirmed beneath him again, whimpering and arching into his touch. Optimus touched everything and then some, lingering over the tattoo. It made him chuckle inside. He hoped he would remember this. Hoped he remembered the way Hot Rod keened, and the noises he made when Optimus finally slid inside him. The way the smaller bot screamed in his overload.
He sort of hoped they’d be able to do this again. Maybe while sober.
Just in case, he recorded it all.