Work Text:
“... It really is you, isn’t it?” The wind was rustling through the moor. The hills were always cold and to Chongyun, this usually felt like comfort and home. Yet, all he felt here was pure despair. Xingqiu hollowly laughed.
“You never were someone who had much trust in me. Nobody really did. I think it pays off in this reality.” Xingqiu was effortlessly standing on the water. The poor of clear mountain water was cast with a shine that only came from the light of the supernatural. As an exorcist, Chongyun knew this glow all too well.
“What kept you here, Xingqiu… If it was your choice, then why are you still here?” Chongyun looked away from the apparition. The soft glow and the light from the moon seemed all too bright even on the darkest mountain in Liyue. The trees covered most parts of the clearing. All spots but on to the south and as Chongyun faced that way, the moonlight was balanced behind Xingqiu’s faded form.
“Ah… I wish I could’ve told you this under better circumstances.” Xingqiu stepped forward to his friend. Chongyun knew this ghostly form was truly from the other realm because even as he saw Xingqiu walk through the water, the delicate footsteps created no ripples. Xingqiu must’ve been using some form of his energy to pull himself into the corporeal world. He placed a soft hand under Chongyun’s chin and lifted his head up.
“I always wanted to bring you here.” He smiled and stepped back to give the other some space. “The ambiance of these hills always reminded me of you. Cold, but so so comforting. Now, even as I cannot feel the wind on my skin, I know you know what I mean.” Xingqiu turned towards the moon. The full glow of it seemed to almost drown out his transparent form.
He stayed silent for a moment before turning to face Chongyun again with a smile. So many things have been hidden behind that smile. It was the same smile he had given to Chongyun the night before his body was found at the bottom of Mount Tianheng. The Millileth had ruled his death as self-inflicted and nobody else brought it up after that. His family opted for a private service as the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, but his friend Hu Tao has bent the rules and allowed Chongyun to sneak inside to pay his own respects.
Chongyun was used to seeing death and corpses in his lifetime simply because of his family, but this was different. The peaceful face of his friend framed by delicate silk flowers and expensive fabrics. He looked so... fake. Chongyun thanked Hu Tao for her offer and left before he could even say sorry. The sight of Xingqiu's body in a casket was simply too much for him. He rushed out of the parlor seemingly more upset than the other guests.
After that day, the Feiyun Commerce Guild seemed to quickly return to normal and as did the rest of the harbor. Chongyun couldn’t take the sympathetic looks from his peers so he spent time in Jueyun Karst with his Aunt. Shenhe guided him through how she coped with grief and helped train him to distract himself. She understood Chongyun’s pain, but also knew that he needed to conquer it before he could even think to progress as an exorcist. He stayed with her for so long he lost track of the time.
He probably would’ve been home by now if he hadn't heard of a ghost haunting Wu Wang hill. Chongyun couldn’t resist the urge to help. Or rather to feel something other than pain and heartache all the time. So he accepted the commission and headed up the mountain. Shenhe had trained him for this moment. He had believed he was finally ready to bring a divine comeuppance to this nasty spirit. Nothing prepared him to finally crown the hill and face his best friend’s hollow ghost dancing along the pond to a song that must’ve been in his own head.
Xingqiu’s body no longer held a warmth that Chongyun had grown to love and rather was glowing with a cold unsettled aura. He didn’t seem to notice Chongyun and continued to dance ever so elegantly with himself. A sword dance he had learned from the various novels he read so often. Though he had no weapon in his hands, he curled and moved with such grace that one may believe he was holding one that was not seen by mere mortal eyes. As the moon began its ascension to the highest point of the sky, Xingqiu stopped abruptly.
“You have never been the stealthiest swordsman, dear Chongyun.” His voice should’ve been quiet from where he was, and yet Chongyun heard him so clearly it was as if he was right beside him. He could hardly speak as Xingqiu smiled. That damned smile.
“You’re dead.” Were the only words he could muster to his friend. Xingqiu laughed at him and slowly began walking closer to his friend. He seemed to wince, but Chongyun was too stunned to notice.
“And you’re an exorcist. You’re very observant my dear. How long has it been? Days? Months? Maybe years.” He was so calm that Chongyun couldn’t help but feel it too. The presence of his friend used to be so calming to him and he wanted nothing but to feel it again. Everything Shenhe had taught him vanished from his mind.
“It’s been two years… two years six months and- wait how are you able to be so close to me? My yang..” Xingqiu was right in front of him now. He was wearing his an outfit of expensive silks and still had his vision attached to his hip. The same outfit he had been buried in. The clothing he was dressed in simply to be placed six feet under the dirt and soon forgotten about. Chongyun looked at his neck and noticed a vague scar. A broken neck. He had been told that ghosts retain the scars of where they died, but he had never been close enough to see. How cruel he was able to see it now.
“No need to worry about the Yang. All that matters is that you’re here now and I’ve been waiting for you.” Xingqiu leaned his head to the side to cover the scar. Chongyun snapped himself to look in his eyes.
"I have so many questions..."
-
“You were caught in thought, dear Chongyun.” Xingqiu‘s voice snapped him out of his memories. “You saw me dancing. It’s always better to be dancing with a partner.” He held his hand out to Chongyun. The same hand that had touched his chin before. The same hand that used to hold books, swords, and even Chongyun some days. They never talked about it when it happened but it was always something that Chongyun would think of for days after it happened.
“Would you spare a dead man one final dance, my dear? I cannot stay here forever.” Chongyun moved his gaze from Xingqiu’s hand and made eye contact instead. He wished he could see those amber eyes everyday. He grabbed Xingqiu’s cold hand and nodded.
The moon was at its true peak now. The light bathed the two as Chongyun waded into the water with his friend. Xingqiu led him to the middle of the pool to stand on some rocks. His hands were deathly cold. It was a temperature that made even Chongyun shiver. The water was cold as well. Somehow, he pushed these feelings aside for the one moment he was experiencing. Xingqiu placed Chongyun’s hands on his own hips and placed his hands around Chongyun’s neck and shoulders.
“Don’t look so sad, Yun. I’m here now, aren’t I?” His voice was far away now unlike when Chongyun had first seen him. They were flowing in the pool slowly and Xingqiu was there. He was there and it was okay.
“Why… Why did you leave me.” He spoke the thought that had been plaguing him for the past two years. “You left no letter or warning… It hurt, Xingqiu.” He took one of his hands off Xingqiu’s hips and placed it in a tight fist on his friend’s chest instead.
“You didn’t think about anyone else. Hu tao missed you, Xiangling missed you, I missed you. Did you ever think that maybe, people cared about you?” He pounded his fist but he couldn’t bring himself to put any strength behind it. It was more like a soft pat than the frustrated punches Chongyun envisioned. Xingqiu pulled Chongyun towards him into a tight hug.
“I didn’t leave a letter because some part of me still wanted to see you. That is what still ties me here. The unsaid words of my heart.”
Chongyun was trembling in Xingqiu’s arms. Whether it was from the cold or something else was unknown. He choked on a sob while buried in his friend’s chest. The usual warmth and heartbeat were gone. Nothing but the feeling of a corpse in his hands.
“I need to tell you this, Chongyun. It has plagued me every day since I left. I regret not getting the chance to say goodbye to you. I regret not telling you how much you truly mean to me.” Xingqiu’s voice was cracking with emotion.
“Such cruel irony. The archons certainly have frowned upon me.” He pulled Chongyun from his chest and held his head in his freezing hands. Xingqiu’s form seemed to be fading more than usual and his expression was strained with pain.
“My dearest Chongyun… I wish we had more time. I wanted to be with you forever. I can feel the other side pulling me in.” He leaned into Chongyun and before he knew what was going on, Xingqiu kissed him.
The ghost’s lips were just as chilling as the rest of him. He was so cold yet his body felt like he was on fire. Xingqiu softly rubbed the sides of Chongyun’s cheeks as he did this. Chongyun watched his friend be so close to him and slowly closed his eyes. He pulled his best friend into a hug without separating their lips. He never wanted to leave this embrace. Chongyun couldn’t tell how long they stayed like that. He didn’t realize just how much had wanted for his entire life. Throughout their entire friendship he hadn’t noticed that they felt the same way about each other. It really was sad how ironic this situation was. Kissing the ghost he was meant to dispel. All the feelings he had held inside burst that moment. Xingqiu pulled back too quickly for Chongyun’s liking.
“Ah Chongyun….” He grunted in pain. “Your yang energy. I haven’t felt this in so long…” he smiled again. “I didn’t forget my promise. I found you a ghost that could withstand your yang. At least for a little bit.” The smile he held was full of sorrow.
“Don’t forget me, just because you're a big shot exorcist now, okay? Make me proud.” His form began to disappear. “Finally I can rest…” He murmured. Xingqiu gave Chongyun’s hands one last squeeze. Chongyun went to squeeze them back but his hands just clenched to fists around nothing.
“Wait- Xingqiu I-” He reached for his friend’s arm but his hands phased directly through it. “Xingqiu! Please!” He cried out but it was futile. Xingqiu was now rapidly disappearing into a faint blue smoke.
“I love you dearest Chongyun…” Xingqiu’s voice was nothing but a whisper through the wind now. Chongyun fell to his knees. The water around him splashed and he didn’t care about his robes getting wet. The night was almost over and as the sun began to rise, he let out a guttural scream. The mountain echoed it back to him as he cried out, but he no longer heard the soft voice of his friend.
Chongyun stayed in the pool of Wu Wang Hill for hours. The sun was fully visible by the time he got up and trekked back down the mountain. His clothing was soaked and his face was streaked with tears. His walk through the harbor gained him plenty of stares but he ignored them all. Nobody could fathom what he had gone through and he didn’t want to speak to any other human right now.
A woman stepped in front of his path and he tried to move around her but she blocked him. He looked up to see Hu Tao. Her face was lined with sympathy. Chongyun stared at her for a moment before realizing she must know something about what happened. He wasn't the only person who could see the dead. He stepped forward but instead of trying to walk around her, he let him fall into her arms with a sob and full on exhaustion. She patted his back.
“Let's get you cleaned up, Yun.”