Chapter Text
Days have gone by, maybe weeks since it last rained. Levi isn’t keeping track even though he knows he should. A dry season is not particularly a good one. But for now, all he knows is the weather is changing and a new season is upon them. It’s been growing warmer by the day, leaving behind the fresh, bright days of Spring. Levi isn’t looking forward to the Southern heat that comes on thick like molasses and unbearably humid. He simply despises the sticky discomfort but he would prefer a Georgia summer over the harsh winters. Come mid November, the nights will be too long.
Winter is unforgivable. The ground is hard and covered in feet of snow, making it almost impossible to travel. The biters are slower in the colder months but the food is scarce. Levi tries not to think of the winter that just passed. They barely survived without frostbite. He will have to make sure they have adequate shelter this time around. Levi will not make the same mistake again.
CRACK!
The sound always reminds him of splitting a watermelon in half.
Levi grits his teeth and turns the knife in his hand. His nose scrunches at the smell of decay as it churns his stomach with nausea. The smell is pungent and piercing. It burns not only his nostrils but his esophagus as well. It is a smell he will never get used to, not even after all these years.
The boney hands that clutch onto his charcoal gray Henley shirt with an impressive grip of desperation slowly begin to let go. The white, rotting eyes that watch him intently go still along with the yellow teeth that snapped inches from his face.
“You nasty fucker. Get off me!” He spits, yanking the knife out of the walking corps’ head. Rotten, black blood sprays from the wound in its head, spraying onto the forest ground. Levi lifts his leg and with a thick black boot kicks the biter off him.
The body falls limp to the forest ground with a heavy thud. It finally lies still as it should. Levi steps back, releasing a huge sigh of relief. The fucker had taken him by surprise, he hadn’t even heard him coming. Alas those are the risks of traveling through the woods. Through anywhere for that matter.
Levi gazes upwards to the canopy of leaves and branches above them. He listens to the cicadas that nest up in the trees. They are almost deafening. The sun’s rays pierce through the canopy, hitting him in the left eye. He squints lightly, lifting his hand to block out the sun. His bolt action rifle that hangs from his shoulder shifts when he moves, slightly bumping against his side. Of course he could use his gun but the sound will catch the interest of every biter in the perimeter and Levi really wants to avoid that. He’s not in the mood to be dealing with the dead. Not that he ever is. It’ll be dark soon and they have yet to find shelter.
“Dammit.” Levi mutters under his breath. He doesn’t want her to sleep out in the open for the second night running. Their last shelter had been just fine if the small hoard hadn’t become too rowdy for Levi’s liking.
Levi looks over his shoulder, eyes landing on a tree. “You can come out now.” He doesn’t wait long. The little five year old peeks her head out from behind the tree. Big silver eyes study the scene before her. Levi watches her with those steel gray eyes of his that are very much like her own. “Hurry up, little girl.”
The small child looks up at the sound of his voice, slightly cautious but now alert. She jumps out from behind the tree she chose to hide behind when the dead man appeared. Her little round face is dirty, splotches of dirt stain her ivory skin and her worn out clothes. She wears a military green backpack that is slightly too big for her and her black and white high top converse have seen better days. Her jet black hair is hidden underneath a blue and white baseball cap that Levi had given her months prior. Her black jeans are torn at the knees and the NASA shirt she’s wearing is two sizes too big.
Her name is Mikasa and she is the only thing that matters to Levi in what’s left of this Godforsaken world. The ungodly things he has done along the way was all to keep his little girl alive. Levi regrets none of it. He will sin a thousand times over if it means she will survive.
She picks up her pace and hurries to his side. Levi places his hand on her hat. “What did I say about lollygagging?” His tone is stern yet gentle.
“Sorry, Papa.” Her sweet little voice speaks up.
The corner of Levi’s mouth inches upward just a little. Even though she is not biologically his daughter, he still sees her as if she is. They share the same blood and the same last name after all. Levi has never doubted his role in her life.
He taps the bill of her cap, tipping it down and blocking her view. “Look alive now, kid. What am I gonna do if a biter takes a chunk out of ya?”
“Hey!” Her little voice protests, fixing her prized cap correctly. Her bottom lip pouts out, annoyed by her father’s pestering.
“Sorry ain’t gonna keep you from getting bitten.”
“I know, I know. You told me before.” Mikasa frowns, following after him once Levi picks up the pace through the trees once again.
Levi hates scolding Mikasa and he hates repeating himself just as much. However, one second can mean life or death in their new reality. He never wants her to forget that. If something happens to him, Mikasa has to continue to survive one way or another.
Mikasa raises her little hand and grasps his. She keeps her eyes downcast but says nothing.
Levi pinches the bridge of his nose. She knows how to butter him up in the most subtle ways. “Practice makes perfect, I suppose.”
Mikasa looks up at him and smiles gently.
___
Just before nightfall they come upon the skeleton of a burned down cabin. The roof has collapsed into nothing but ashes and debris. A few gutted out walls with shattered windows manage to stand upright but they don’t promise shelter. To their luck, they find a trap door that leads down to a basement. That will have to do for the night.
Mikasa waits while Levi scopes out the basement. He pulls out his beloved Colt Python 357 Magnum revolver from his holster and ventures carefully down the creaky wooden steps. He holds the flashlight beneath his gun, lighting his path. The basement feels moist despite the warm air above. It's dark and wet and covered in multiple cobwebs. It’s not ideal but it will do for the night. Levi steps down and scans the room with the light. He sees a couple of dusty shelves littered with random junk: jars, old toys, car parts, antiques, typical garage junk. On the far right of the room he sees the door that leads up to the rest of the cabin. Against the same wall, a sink and what appears to be a storage freezer. A can on the floor catches Levi’s eye and he kicks it to the middle of the room. The loud, clanking sound should bring out anything hiding behind the shelves or in the darkness.
He waits.
Nothing.
Not taking any chances, Levi steps further into the room and inspects every nook and cranny. Once he deems it safe, his shoulders relax and he turns to the trap door. “Come on down, kid!”
They set up in one of the corners of the basement and bunker down for the night. Levi makes sure all doors are securely locked and finally sits down on their shared sleeping bag. He rests his back against the wall and sighs heavily.
“This place is disgusting.” One thing Levi misses about life before the pandemic that killed humanity is the cleanliness. Everything in the new world is filthy. It’s smelly and rotten and filled with the stench of decay. He hates it. He hates being covered in dirt, grime and blood. He just wants to be clean and stay clean.
He misses the commune. It was nothing but a tiny community hidden behind the tall walls of a mental hospital long abandoned but it was safe. It was home. They were able to wash and keep clean as they pleased. He’d do anything for a long, hot shower.
Mikasa sits on the sleeping bag across from him. She pulls out the gas lantern from Levi’s pack and sets it to the side, turning it on. “You can sleeps outside if ya want.”
Levi makes a face at her sass. “Sleep .” he corrects her grammar, “And don’t be a smartass.”
Mikasa salutes him, “Aye, aye, Cap’n.”
Levi scoffs but a chuckle manages to escape his lips. He can’t pinpoint the exact moment his five year old became so sassy. “Tch. A chip off the ol’ block, aren’t you?”
Mikasa giggles and reaches into her own bag. She pulls out a book on Fairy Tales and places it on the sleeping bag before her. Levi watches as she opens it to the middle of the book where a polaroid picture rests. Mikasa takes it into her little hands and studies it for what must be the millionth time. It is a picture of Levi, her mother, and Mikasa as a baby. Once she makes sure the polaroid is safe and up to inspection, she places it back in the book.
“Are we gonna live here?” Mikasa asks as she climbs onto his lap like she used to do when she was a toddler.
“Mm no.” Levi answers, letting her make herself comfortable. He makes a face when she punctures his ribs with her knee.
Mikasa rests her head on his chest and her eyes begin to close. She’s exhausted from walking all the way from dawn till dusk but Levi’s warmth comforts her. He’s all she’s known for as long as she can remember. “S’ dirty…” She mumbles, her little voice is heavy with sleep.
Levi wraps his arms around her, clasping his hands together, his fingers intertwine. He rests his cheek on the top of her head as his eyes wander to the fairy tale book where the polaroid resides. Pieck’s face immediately comes to mind. “We’ll find a clean place. I promise.”
x
Mikasa will not stop crying and Levi has run out of means and patience to comfort her. He has fed her, changed her and even burped her like a newborn. He has done everything he knows Pieck would have done to comfort the child but it is to no avail. He feels useless to aid her crying and she continues to do so right in the middle of the roadway. The woods had been silent until her cries broke them and Levi winces, anxious that her cries will carry and alert the dead of their location. They’re out in the open of the West Virginian forest and Levi fears the girls non stop crying will attract any straggling biters. Or worse, the living.
His eyes scan the tree lines but spots nothing as of yet. His shoulders fall. Levi isn’t too good with her, or so he thinks. He doesn’t know the difference between her cries. He can’t tell if she is hungry or angry or simply just wants attention. He struggles to parent her on his own. But he is trying his best.
In the weeks that Pieck has been missing, he really is giving it his all. He has managed to find the toddler some food to keep her fed and most importantly, alive. He has also managed to find them multiple shelters and food for himself but it isn’t enough. It’s never enough. The food always runs out and their shelters always falter. He cannot catch a break.
Mikasa brings her fists to her face in frustration for her father cannot find a way to soothe her tears. She’s hot and irritated by the multiple mosquito bites that cover her soft, ivory skin. The mosquitos have made quite the meal out of her soft and chubby baby limbs, leaving no mercy for her. Her black strands of soft hair stick to her forehead and cheeks with sweat. The two year old has reached her limit. She stomps her foot and lets out an ungodly shrill whine that irks Levi’s eardrums.
Levi knows she misses Pieck. He can tell by the way she often looks around for her and how she will struggle to fall asleep without the sound of her voice. Pieck isn’t Mikasa’s biological mother nor is Levi her biological father but the two best friends have been raising her as their own ever since she was months old. Now Pieck is gone and Mikasa is left yet again without another mother.
Levi knows he can’t comfort Mikasa the way Pieck did and he knows his awkward attempts are no replacement for Pieck’s motherly love. Mikasa has been forcefully weaned from such a loving relationship and she is not too happy about the fact. Finding that comfort in her mother's warmth and the safety in her arms is not the same. Still, it is the best Levi can provide for her.
He sighs heavily, “Shit.” He leans down on one knee and searches for Mikasa’s gaze with his own. He’s so desperate to ease her crying but he’s also running on fumes. "What's wrong, kid?" Levi demands. He studies her for a moment. Her jet black locks have thickened over time. They are no longer little curls and wisps that Pieck would struggle to keep in place. Now they’re straight and cut just below her chin. Her cheeks and little button nose are rosy red from crying and from the unrelenting heat.
"What do you want?" Levi asks her. His voice is losing patience and he can hear the sharpness in his tone. He’s never cold with the little girl, always gentle and patient but that day is weighing heavy on his nerves. His stomach is so empty, he’s nauseous and the heat has begun to make him dizzy.
Mikasa hiccups and starts to cry again. She’s angry and itchy and exhausted. Her limited vocabulary cannot let Levi know everything she’s feeling so she cries instead.
"Pieck?" Levi asks, growing frustrated that she can’t just speak up and tell him what she wants, "Is that why you’re cryin'? Cause you want Pieck?"
Mikasa gives out another frustrated whine. Levi huffs and jumps back up to his feet, taking a few steps back. Mikasa immediately steps towards him, reaching a little hand to him, panicked that he will leave her.
Levi glares at the toddler. He becomes frustrated just by looking at her. Not because he blames her but because he blames himself for not being able to calm her. "Well, she ain't here!" He snaps, "She's gone! Don't you understand that?"
Mikasa stops her crying for a slight moment, startled by her father's sudden outburst. She focuses on him with watery gray eyes and starts to cry again after a moment. Her shrills pierce through Levi’s ears and he winces at the ear piercing sound. She’s got some lungs on her, that’s for sure.
He shakes his head. "You don't get it. She's gone…" he stumbles backward but gains his footing. "Your Mama's gone. She’s not comin' back."
Mikasa peers around their surroundings, searching for her mother, wondering why her cries have not brought her over like they always do. “Mama?” Her little voice cracks and Levi’s heart breaks.
Even though Mikasa is far too young to comprehend much, there are mere things her little mind can grasp. Perhaps it is instinct to cry for her mother, perhaps it is Pieck’s face that she has grown accustomed to. Levi can’t tell but he sees the toddler’s desperation to be comforted by her mother and he knows she misses her but there is nothing he could do.
Pieck is gone. They have been separated and he doesn’t know if she’s even alive. Levi has tried to find her. He’s returned to the commune but the place has been overrun by the dead. He spent days trying to spot her amongst his fallen friends and acquaintances but her face never shows amongst the fallen. If she had escaped, she could be anywhere. Hell, maybe she isn’t even alive…
Levi hates himself for thinking of it. It isn’t a reality he is ready to accept. All he knows is that Pieck is gone. She is just gone.
Mikasa stares at him with watery eyes, raising her little arms up for him to pick her up. Whenever she did that, Pieck would swoop her up immediately. Levi is hesitant to pick her up but in the end, his heart melts at the sight of his daughter's big gray eyes pleading for his help. He walks over and swoops her up from the ground. Mikasa rests her head against his chest and whines, finding comfort in his arms just like she had done so in her mother's.
"I'm all you got now, Brat." He tells her as he rubs her back and her cries settle to a calm, "You gotta understand that."
x
At some point in the night, Levi dozed off. Unable to fight off the exhaustion any longer, his body betrayed him and he slowly let his eyes close, comforted by the small weight of Mikasa in his arms. He doesn’t get much sleep but often there are nights where he is just too tired to fight.
Half conscious, he slightly stirs. The morning light seeps in through the high dirty window that sits in the middle of the far left wall. It reaches across the floor, illuminating little particles of dust in the air and gently touching the side of Levi’s sleeping face. His fine brows come together in a frown when he feels the heat on his face and the lack of warmth in his arms. It smells like mildew; the smell is overwhelming. He stretches out a hand, running his palm and the tip of his fingers along the top of the sleeping bag in search of her. His eyes fly open when he doesn’t feel her next to him.
Levi sits up, his head whipping from side to side, “Mikasa!” His hand immediately reaches for his rifle.
“Papa.” He hears her soft voice and jumps to his feet, his heart beating out of his chest.
Levi finds Mikasa sitting on top of the stairs that lead up to the double doors. She sits at the very top step, just below the doors. She turns to look at him and brings her little index finger up, placing it on her pink heart shaped lips. “Biters.” She whispers.
Levi inhales a deep breath, urging his mind to relax. Mikasa is fine. He quietly goes up the steps and sits next to her, ear to the doors. Sure enough he could hear the gurgling sounds and ragged breathing of the dead. Their feet drag on the ground. Levi turns his head and squints his vision, trying to see through the cracks in the door. He can make out a couple of figures moving about.
“Hmph. What a perfect way to wake up.” Levi mutters sarcastically under his breath. He turns his head and looks to the opposite door. Perhaps they could sneak their way out instead of fight their way out.
“Pewfect.” Mikasa repeats after him, missing the sarcasm in his voice.
He turns to her and places his hand on her head, “Go get your things. Quick.”
The door that leads to the inside of the cabin is a no go. Levi takes Mikasa and hides her behind one of the shelves. He kneels down on one knee and zips up her red sweater. She has put her beloved baseball cap on as well as her backpack.
“You got your knife?” he asks her. Mikasa nods. A knife isn’t much. Well, to give to a five year old it's a hell of a lot but as for protection, it’s something . “Now, do you remember what I told you?”
“It ain’t a toy.” She answers without hesitation.
“Atta girl.” He pats her head again. “Now, stay here until I call you. Alright?”
Mikasa’s eyes light up as if she just realized something. “Papa, there’s tons of biters. What if you need help?”
Levi scoffs softly. As far as he’s aware, there’s only three biters outside. He’s dealt with worse before. “You can help me by staying still.”
Mikasa frowns, insistent and stubborn. “I wanna help.”
“ Stay here .” He orders sharply and Mikasa grumbles, crouching back down. Levi stands to his feet. “I’ll take care of this.”
The wooden doors burst open and Levi steps out with his hatchet in hand. He greets the first biter that approaches him with a clean strike to the head. He hears the all too familiar sound of a broken skull and yanks the hatchet out with full force. Brain matter flies through the air and splatters upon the leaves. The biter falls to its knees and slumps over. The second biter comes at full speed, throwing its entire weight on Levi. Levi lifts his arm up, shoving it against the biter’s neck to push it back. Its nasty teeth snap at Levi’s face, growling at him with desperate hunger. The dead aren’t the strongest but they’re heavy and troublesome. Their rotting skin has begun to turn gray and yellow; it hangs from their bodies, sloshing off at the mere touch.
Levi drops the hatchet, unable to use it as the biter bears its weight on him. Levi quickly reaches into his back pocket and brings out his knife. He jams it upward, stabbing it through the bottom of the biter's chin. The biter twitches and Levi grunts, jamming it up even higher. He twists the knife and yanks it back out, then brings it back from the side, shoving it into the side of the biters temple. The corpse falls to the ground like a sack of flour.
The third biter drags a broken leg behind it. The bone is poking out through its thin skin. It reaches its boney fingers up to Levi, missing him as he jumps back. The face of the dead, once full of life, is now sunken and hollow. Levi did not hesitate and lifted his foot, bringing it down hard against the already broken leg. He hears the bone crack further and the dead falls to the ground, arms wailing around. It growls and hisses at Levi, trying to grab onto his boots.
Levi scoffs and brings his boot down upon the biter’s skull. Like a watermelon it crushes beneath the weight. “Fucking ugly ass bitch!” Levi spits as he crushes its skull over and over until it stops twitching. The rage he feels along with the fear that swells in his chest is like nothing Levi has ever felt before. It’s not the fear of almost getting his face bitten off, but the fear of what they could do if they ever get their hands on Mikasa. He’s not going to let that happen. Not while he’s alive and fighting.
Levi staggers back, catching his breath. He lifts his hand and wipes his mouth with the back of it. “Good riddance.” He mutters. He then makes sure the coast is clear and there isn’t a lingering corpse nearby ready to take him by surprise.
Once Levi deems the coast clear, he returns down to the basement for Mikasa. She sits up when she sees him coming down the steps and runs straight to him, wrapping her arms around his waist. “You okay?” she asks, looking up at him.
“I’m okay, kid. Come on, let’s go.”
Mikasa beams and nods. She takes his hand like she always does and follows him with blind devotion.