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For as long as he could remember, Peter Parker had been a keen observer of how attractive people were. The way the girls in his class had this natural air of confidence around them that drew everyone in, the way a boy would be able to fill out a t-shirt just right. He could watch a show and admire everyone in the cast.
He was perfectly straight though.
He became friends with Michelle Jones-Watson in 10th grade. Before he knew her personally, he knew she was a lesbian. She made it very clear with her position as vice president of their queer students association and her backpack covered in pins with the flag and various slogans. However, the more they talked, the more he got to fully appreciate what that meant.
MJ knew who she was so confidently, that Peter was in awe. She would pull up a clip from a movie and spin around her laptop, letting Peter and Ned know how attractive she found a certain character to be. She would tell him how she realized from a young age how she found girls to be much prettier than boys, and by middle school had realized her identity. Her parents were slowly, but surely, coming to terms with her identity, and, though there were a couple of jokes here and there, people at school were the same way.
Peter could also say he had never been surrounded by particularly ignorant people. MJ clearly wouldn’t be against any member of the LGBTQIA+ community, as she is a clear advocate for everyone who identifies with any aspect of it. Ned, though being straight as far as Peter knew, had stuck up for MJ multiple times when anyone questioned her, and had never showed any sign of being homophobic. Aunt May, despite being older than Peter and his friends, had a surprising number of non-heterosexual aquaintences and made it explicitely clear to him that if he was gay, he would have her full support, as well.
Because of all of this, when Peter said he was straight, he believed it. It didn’t come from a lack of knowledge or a fear of rejection. If he knew he could be open with himself and others, then saying he was straight came from him just being comfortable with his own sexuality.
Or so he thought.
It started with some small comments here and there. MJ joking about how Peter should just tell them that he’s bi already. Her saying that he is the least-straight straight person she had ever met. They didn’t bother him. If anything, he thought they were funny, because he knew it was true. He fit every stereotype - cuffed jeans, a closet full of flannel, “Sweater Weather” at the top of his Spotify playlist.
Things reached a turning point however, when Ned started a conversation about the Avengers on a Monday afternoon.. They were discussing their favorites and who’s powers they would want. Ned and Peter had discussed this particular topic many times before, so he knew his exact answers.
“I’m not-so-secretly in love with Black Widow.” MJ announced, without a care in the world. “Peter, if you ever get the opportunity, I want you to let her know.”
“I’ll be sure to.” He laughed, before adding “And I’m straight, but the things I would let Thor do to me…”
Ned laughed at that, while MJ deadpanned. “Peter, that’s not straight.”
She had said things like that to him before, and they always rolled right off, so he wasn’t sure why that particular had gotten to him. He just had never particularly thought about it that way. He was straight, and that didn’t mean he couldn’t think boys were attractive right?
The thought lingered in his head for the rest of the day. He tried looking at various boys and girls, trying to see who he found attractive and who he didn’t. It was hard to tell, considering they all had so many good features. He would always love the way cheerleaders looked in pleated skirts, or how no matter the sport, boys would look good in jerseys. These all felt like natural facts, and he was stuck.
So, he did the next logical thing. He talked to Ned.
The next time he saw his best friend, he was waiting by Peter’s locker after the last bell. The boy had a backpack on, and was holding a few of his textbooks, ready to walk home with Peter like they did every day. Trying to work up the courage to start this conversation, Peter kept his eyes firmly on his open locker, pulling out everything he would need.
He took a deep breath before finally blurting out, “Ned, do you think boys are attractive?”
Ned faltered, almost dropping his math textbook on the ground. “What?”
“Do you think boys are attractive? Like not necessarily in a ‘I want to date them’ way, but just in general?”
The boy thought about it, clearly giving it some thought, which Peter appreciated. Ultimately though, he said “Not really. I mean, I get objectively how guys can be attractive, it’s just not ever something I’ve consciously thought about.”
“Oh.” Peter had consciously thought about it before.
Ned obviously read the expression off Peter’s face, because he said, “If this is about what MJ said earlier…”
“No, no.” That was a lie. “I was just curious.”
“Okay…”
The subject was dropped. At least as a conversation between the two of them. But the thought nagged at Peter for the rest of the walk home, as he turned over in his head both what Ned had said and what MJ had been telling him.
Did other straight people really not think everyone was attractive? He thought that was a natural thing, but if you wanted to date girls, then you were straight. To be fair, he had never entertained the idea of dating a boy, but…
Oh. Oh.
He wasn’t straight. He couldn’t be.
Not when the idea of getting to wear another boy’s sweatshirt gave him just as many butterflies as giving his own to a girl. Not when he thought about Mr. Harrington’s nephew who had worked at a science camp with Peter last summer, having the impressive skill of making Peter blush with even the most basic sentences. Not when googling bisexuality and rediscovering it with a new outlook made his heart beat out of his chest.
God, did it make so much sense now. Everything about his outlook on people clicked into place when he looked at it from the perspective of someone who didn’t have a romantic preference. He just had been so convinced that he liked girls only, that he hadn’t entertained any other idea. And now that he had…
He was bisexual.
Despite how much he wanted to talk this through with his friends, he kept it to himself for the next month. He just wanted to be sure that this was how he felt, and to give himself time to work through it. The more he sat with it, the more comfortable with his sexuality he became. Rather than feeling distressed and overwhelmed with this new label, a part of him calmed at the idea of his world opening up like this.
He could watch Star Wars and know with complete conviction that, not only did he want to be Han Solo, but he definitely found that man attractive. And, looking back on it, any feelings of same-sex attraction originated with that character, unsurprisingly.
Then, on a random Tuesday at lunch, he just blurted it out.
“Ned, MJ… I think I’m bisexual.”
He had kept it to himself for long enough, and looking at the two of them make worms with their straw wrappers and laughing about how Mr. Harrington had completely tipped over in his chair during chemistry, he was filled with such an overwhelming love for them. He wanted them to know. This had become a part of him now, and he wanted them to be included in that.
Both heads shot up and looked at him. Ned’s jaw dropped, though MJ looked less surprised. “Congratulations, you’re officially the last to know.”
“MJ!” Ned scolded, before turning back to Peter. “I’m happy for you, dude. Thank you for telling us. I’m glad you felt comfortable enough.”
“Yeah, yeah.” MJ smiled at Peter, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ears. “Welcome to the club, loverboy. If you want to come to QSA with me this week, we meet on Thursdays during lunch.”
“I… yeah. Okay. I’d like that.” Peter smiled, though his eyes drifted down to his lunch, suddenly afraid to make eye contact with the other two.
“We’re really proud of you, Peter.” Ned told him, giving his leg a soft kick under the table.
Peter was proud of himself too.