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If Temari had to write another sentence, she was sure her fingers were going to seize up entirely. When she’d agreed to become ambassador to the Hidden Leaf village, she knew it would come with paperwork, but a fifty-page handwritten statement of intention just to formally accept the position? Sometimes Suna was charmingly traditional, other times it was belligerently stuck in the past, and this was one of the times she envied those softies in Konoha. Careful to put her brush away without dripping any ink on the paper, lest she have to rewrite the last page, Temari cleaned up her supplies, returned all necessary reference materials to their respective binders, and heated some wax to give the document an official Sunagakure seal.
Finally finished, Temari smiled to herself.
“Lady Temari, ambassador to the Leaf.” She tried out the title aloud, deciding she liked it, and feeling the weariness in the joints of her fingers ease away. In fact, she mulled it over before deciding that she might have it in her to apply for another diplomatic position tonight. There were still about two hours before the gradient sky became totally black and the Kazekage’s office closed, and she knew the council was looking for someone to step up as head of the border patrol night shift.
Suddenly, “Lady Temari” seemed too informal.
“That’s Captain Temari to you.” She corrected the imaginary rookie with the gall to mistitle her. Honestly, what were they teaching these kids at the imaginary academy?
“Captain who?” Kankuro interrupted Temari before she could let hypothetical incompetence legitimately annoy her. Shaking her head of the scenario, Temari turned to her brother, an automatic greeting halted by the sight of him.
“You look like shit. What happened?”
Kankuro just grumbled. He freed both puppets from his back, tossing them to the ground and stretching his arms and back with a crackling noise even Temari could hear from across the room. “I hate brats.” His voice came through like gravel as he padded to a nearby mirror to decide if he agreed with Temari or not.
He sighed.
He hated when his sister was right.
He began to wipe off his face paint as he elaborated. “I always thought fighting a skilled puppet master was the most dangerous position I could put myself in. Turns out, it’s training idiots that don’t even know their fucking fingers.” His voice increased in volume as he spoke, out of frustration of the day’s events and frustration that he couldn’t wipe off this one stubborn patch of face paint. “You would think that ‘flick your index finger’ is a simple command. All the kid had to do was flick his index finger to open the puppet’s mouth.” He licked his fingers to scrub even harder at that damn spot. “So why the fuck does a poison smoke bomb shoot out of the puppet’s fucking hand? You know why? Because he flicked his middle finger, and when I yelled at him and showed him the right way to do it, this little asshole says, ‘that’s not my index finger, that’s my pointer finger.’” He huffed and stomped away from the mirror, realizing that spot of paint was actually a deep purple bruise. “Fucking moron.”
“Well who’s the idiot that gave rookies deadly weapons to train with?”
“It’s how we learned. We were sparring with real kunai as soon as we were old enough to hold them.” Kankuro threw himself across the entirety of the couch, sinking into the tawny upholstery. Temari smacked his feet so he’d bend his legs and give her room to sit next to him.
“That’s true, but we also had Rasa as a father. I’d venture to say that our experiences growing up weren’t exactly normal.” She rolled her eyes as Kankuro stretched his legs out again, placing them across Temari’s lap. She thought about how much trouble her brother would be in if their dad ever caught him lounging like this. “Or healthy, for that matter.”
Kankuro closed his eyes, and Temari stifled a laugh when she saw he’d forgotten to wipe off the purple on his eyelids. “Eh, I don’t know.” He sighed, never one to fully acknowledge any kind of trauma. “I think we turned out fine.”
About a hundred bits of evidence to the contrary rattled around Temari’s head, but they took a back seat when she heard an extra breathy and very long sigh that could only belong to one person.
“Welcome home, Gaara.”
The youngest sibling entered the living room, offering a grunt of acknowledgement in lieu of a smile before taking off his sandals with languid movements that would’ve annoyed Kankuro were his eyes open to see them. Once de-shoed, Gaara made his way to the desk chair Temari had been working at earlier, spinning it parallel to the desk and sitting side saddle to face his siblings.
“You sound tired.” Kankuro pestered and Temari flicked his nose. He scowled, but still didn’t bother to open his eyes.
“The meetings today were long. And the topics… were difficult.” There was weariness laced through each word. A consequence of Gaara’s new found vulnerability was the steady migration of his heart to his sleeve, which of course meant his siblings were more easily able to tease or fuss over him. Kankuro excelled in the former while Temari picked up the slack with the latter.
“At least the meetings are done now, and it’s not like you have to do them again.”
“Until you’re actually Kazekage. Then these meetings are gonna be your whole life.” This time, Temari pinched Kankuro’s nose and jerked it back and forth a bit.
“Would you stop going after my nose!” The ire in his voice was overtaken by the cartoonishly nasal sound it had from being squeezed closed.
“I’m just trying to make it smaller for you.”
Kankuro lazily tried to move his head away, but gave up and resorted to dirty tricks, sticking his tongue out to press against the wrist held above his mouth. Temari jerked away in disgust while Kankuro chuckled, breathing in deep through his freed-up nose.
“So what were the meetings about anyway? Usually you don’t mind them this much.”
Gaara, who had been observing his siblings mess with each other, hesitated to answer.
“Primarily, they focused on social skills.” He was hopeful he’d be able to commiserate with his siblings over how difficult it was to socialize, but as he watched Kankuro swat at Temari’s pestering hands, he realized he was just the odd one out. Perpetually.
“That shouldn’t be a problem for you.” Temari tossed her arms over the back of the couch, giving Kankuro a moment of respite. “I think you have great social skills. They’re definitely a lot better than what they used to be.”
“They couldn’t get much worse.” The respite was over, and Temari elbowed Kankuro in the gut.
“Don’t be an asshole!”
“He’s right, though. I can acknowledge that I’m making progress, but I’m far from on par with the other Kage, or even the average shinobi. As the council puts it, I’m aloof, emotionless, and generally unapproachable.”
“They said that?” Kankuro rubbed his now sore gut.
“Verbatim.” It wasn’t anything Gaara wasn’t expecting. When he’d found out the day would be dedicated to social etiquette, he anticipated a lot of criticism – even hoped for it so he could finally catch up to his siblings – but upon learning just how much he didn’t know, it was starting to feel hopeless.
“Look, Gaara, I don’t know if this is what you want to hear, but you don’t need to be warm and fuzzy.” His sister made eye contact with him as she spoke. “There isn’t a right way to socialize; sometimes people are just… not bubbly or not people people. I mean, you tell me you admire my social skills, but some people might say I’m a bit too blunt.” She covered Kankuro’s mouth preemptively, but still felt him mumble some comment into her hand. “The point is: I don’t think there’s anything wrong with your social skills. You’re easy to talk to.”
“Thank you.” He knew she was being genuine, but he also knew his sister was biased. Like it or not, the council had a point: even simple social cues eluded Gaara, and while being reserved was one thing for a Kage, being unlikable was another. Though intensity wasn’t something Gaara dabbled in much anymore, it frustrated him immensely to not understand things that even children knew. Which reminded him…
“Temari. Kankuro. Are you familiar with Hide and Seek?”
His siblings were caught off guard, Kankuro so much so that he actually sat up to look at Gaara.
“Did the council ask you to play Hide and Seek?” Kankuro’s brows were scrunched tight as he waited for his brother’s reply, but he should’ve known better than to expect Gaara to get to the point.
“So you are familiar with it.”
“Well, yeah, every –” Temari stopped herself. “A lot of people are. Why? What makes you ask?”
For the second time since coming home, Gaara was almost too embarrassed to explain himself.
“When the meetings had a brief break, I decided to go for a walk. When I passed the academy, I noticed a child who seemed to be… distressed. I asked him what was wrong, and he said he couldn’t find his friends.” His siblings nodded, seeing where this was going but allowing Gaara to finish. “The situation seemed pressing; for all but one child to be missing from the academy… I immediately sensed for their chakra and used my third eye to search, and I was able to find the locations of his lost friends. And yet…” Gaara furrowed his brows. “Not only did the students I found get annoyed with me, the child I helped said I’d ruined their game. The game, as I’m sure you can guess, was Hide and Seek.”
Temari and Kankuro allowed for a few moments of silence, just to make sure that Gaara was finished, before they replied.
“That’s an honest mistake, Gaara.”
“Yeah, I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s not your fault you’ve never played it.”
Gaara looked up at his siblings, the faintest of frowns on his face. “But why have you two heard of it?”
“Well,” Temari carefully selected her next words. “We spent a little more time on the playground than you did, so we’ve seen it a few times.”
“Yeah, I remember a bunch of the other kids playing it every now and then.”
“Did you two play it?”
At this, Temari and Kankuro matched Gaara’s expression, casting their eyes downward.
“No. I always just watched. But it’s fine, I wouldn’t have wanted to play anyway; it would’ve been too easy for me, and I wouldn’t have had fun.” Temari mostly told herself.
“I never played either. Not that I care, though.”
The room was overtaken by a stubborn silence. Temari sat with her arms crossed while Kankuro picked at a loose thread of the couch. Gaara just stared at his feet.
“How does one play?” He finally broke the silence.
Again, his siblings looked at him like parents who’d just been asked why the pet goldfish was floating upside down.
“It’s… pretty simple, actually.” Temari began. “One kid closes his eyes and counts to thirty or something, and the other kids all hide somewhere. When they’re done counting, they just try to find everyone else.”
“I see.”
“No, don’t see yet, Gaara.” Kankuro butted in. “Temari’s wrong as usual.”
“What are you talking about?” She snapped her head to glower at her brother. “That’s all there is to it!”
Kankuro rolled his eyes.
“Nope! When you play hide and seek, one person counts while the other people hide – she got that much right. What she left out is that there’s a base, right? Before the game, you all decide to make one spot ‘base.’ Once the person is done counting, everyone else tries to get to the base without being tagged, and if they get tagged, they have to join the seeker in tagging other people.”
“That sounds a bit more complicated.” Gaara was trying to take mental notes of all these rules.
“Yeah, because that’s not Hide and Seek, that’s Man Hunt.”
“What the fuck is Man Hunt!”
“The game you just described!”
“You mean Hide and Seek?”
“No, because in Hide and Seek, all you do is hide and seek; there’s no base!”
Seeing his older siblings bicker, Gaara felt a bit more reassured of his own social skills.
“Is it possible,” he chimed in, “that two versions of the game exist?”
Temari immediately opened her mouth to snap back, but fought her instincts to protest her correctness upon seeing Gaara’s genuine curiosity. She sighed.
“I guess people have different rules for things sometimes. But when I was growing up, Hide and Seek was what I described it as.”
“When you grew up you wrote on stone tablets and made cave paintings.”
“Kankuro, I’m barely a year older than you!”
Kankuro shoved an accusatory finger in her face.
“Oh so now we’re the same age, but a week ago you got the last helping of stew because you’re sooo much older than me.”
“I think,” Gaara mused, completely unfazed by his siblings. “That the children at the academy today were playing the version that Temari described.”
Counting this as yet another victory for herself, Temari turned to Kankuro.
“Of course they were. It’s the best version.”
He rolled his eyes, not willing to give her the satisfaction.
“How would you know it’s the best version? You’ve never even played!”
It was a point Temari couldn’t argue, so she defaulted to just glaring at her brother. She was going to add something to the effect of “I know everything so fuck off,” but Gaara interrupted her.
“Maybe we could all find out.”
It was a simple request, but it still stunned his siblings.
“Are you saying you want to play Hide and Seek?”
“Well,” embarrassment was becoming a theme for Gaara today. “If none of us have played it, it might be nice. Just to say we’ve done it.”
Hide and Seek. It was something kids played. A stupid little game that the sand siblings were far too old for. After all, Temari had just become an ambassador, Kankuro was the most respected shinobi in his discipline, and Gaara – Gaara was training to become Kazekage. It would be unbecoming for any of them to play a children’s game.
“One, two, three, not it!” Temari yelled, placing her finger on her nose. Her brothers looked at her like she’d suggested another invasion of the Leaf.
“What the fuck did you just do?”
She squirmed under the gaze of her brothers, embarrassed by her sudden display of enthusiasm.
“I don’t know it’s just something I saw kids do on the playground. You say not it and put your finger on your nose. The last person to do it is it.”
“It?” Gaara tilted his head.
“The person who has to seek. They’re ‘it.’”
“Yeah,” Kankuro started, “but you don’t decide who’s it by doing –”
“Not it.” A monotone voice came from behind Kankuro. He turned his head, utterly betrayed to discover his younger brother with his index (or pointer) finger pressed to the tip of his nose.
-
The siblings, mostly Temari and Kankuro, spent a good ten minutes arguing the exact rules of the game. Gaara mediated the discussion, offering what he thought were the happiest mediums between Kankuro’s free-for-all rules and Temari’s restrictive ones. Eventually, it was decided that the entirety of the first floor was in bounds, except for the hallways that connected the home to the rest of the Kazekage office, as they didn’t want their game bleeding into their workspace. Outside was off limits as well, and they weren’t allowed to use any ninjutsu to help them hide or seek – which was added when Kankuro remembered Gaara’s third eye. Lastly, the seeker had to stand at the front door and count to thirty with their eyes closed. Upon Temari’s insistence, they had to announce “ready or not, here I come” when they were done counting… just because she’d heard kids do that once and it seemed important to the rules.
“I swear to god, I’ll kill you if you peek.” She threatened as Kankuro positioned himself at the door. He waved her off and covered his eyes with his hands, counting loud enough for his siblings to hear.
“One.” It suddenly struck Kankuro how ridiculous this all was. People feared him. He’d become a jonin at an incredibly young age, and he had a body count too high for him to keep track of. “Eight.” And here he was, playing Hide and Seek. “Twelve.” What would his father think of this? He was never the type of dad to do the whole playing thing. He was more the type of dad to do the whole… beating thing. “Twenty-one.” His dad would probably hate this. “Twenty-four.” He’d probably yell at them. “Twenty-six.” And tell them to grow up. “Thirty.” Kankuro was going to make sure he enjoyed this. “Ready or not, here I come!”
Removing his hands from his eyes, Kankuro was greeted by an unsurprisingly vacant living room. The boundaries meant that Gaara and Temari could be hiding in this room, the kitchen, the office, the closet, or the bathroom. That wasn’t a ton of ground to cover, and considering he was looking for two grown adults, he could rule out a lot of smaller spots.
He started with the living room. Though truthfully, he didn’t really know how to start. He knew to look for people, but having never played before, he felt weirdly out of place. The first thing he checked was the couch, lifting the pillows to check underneath them, before kicking himself; he was looking for people, not loose change. The only other couch hiding spot he could think of was under it, but squatting down to check revealed nothing but a pair of chopsticks that had been missing for a few weeks.
Kankuro moved from the couch, leaving the chopsticks and telling himself that he’d go back for them once the game was over. Where else in the living room could he check? This was surprisingly hard. Where the fuck did people usually hide? Kankuro paused to think to himself.
If this was an ambush, where would I conceal myself?
His eyes scanned the area and they quickly zeroed in on the bathroom door, which was slightly more ajar than it had been before he started counting. Someone didn’t cover their tracks well enough. Kankuro’s hand went to his kunai pouch as he shifted his weight to his toes, slowly approaching the bathroom door. Then, Kankuro reminded himself that this was a game of Hide and Seek and not an S rank mission, so he just walked to the door normally.
Inside the bathroom, there wasn’t much in terms of cover. It’s not like anyone could fit in the cabinets, and the only other place someone could conceal themself was the shower.
Ah… the shower.
Pleased with himself, the puppeteer made his way to the shower, gripping the curtain to pull it open and reveal… nobody. Well so much for that idea. He went to leave the bathroom when he noticed a shadow in the corner. Turning the lights on and closing the door fully revealed Gaara, standing there with his shoulders pulled in to make himself as small as possible.
“You found me.” He announced, a mix of disappointed to be caught and pleased to have participated.
“I did!” Kankuro was entirely pleased. He wasn’t sure of the average time it took to find someone, but he assumed he had done this pretty quickly. But now, neither brother was sure what came next.
“Was it a good hiding spot?” Gaara asked.
“Yeah! I mean, at first I thought you were in the shower. I almost missed you.”
There was a brief pause.
“…What do we do now?”
“Well,” Kankuro pretended to know. “I think that you’re out now so you would… sit on the couch and wait for me to find the rest of the people.”
“But only Temari is left.”
The two considered what that meant.
“Yeah. So… I guess that means she wins?”
“Yeah it does!” A female voice suddenly bellowed. The two brothers glanced at each other before opening the door to find Temari standing in the living room, hands on her hips and head held high. Kankuro and Gaara stepped out to join her.
“Congratulations, Temari.”
“Thank you!” She patted herself on the back.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Kankuro grumbled. “Were you in the living room the whole time?”
“I’m not telling you!” She scoffed. “It’s a good spot, I’m gonna use it again.”
“Again? We do this more than once?”
“Well, yeah. The rounds don’t take that long, so usually you play a few times.”
Gaara seemed pleased with his sister’s explanation.
“I see. So Kankuro has to count again.”
“Um, I don’t think so!” Kankuro protested, “I’m pretty sure whoever is found first has to count next.”
His sister agreed.
“That sounds right.”
The two of them turned to Gaara with apologetic looks. Even though their dynamic was increasingly normal, it still felt… uncomfortable to give him the short end of the stick. Lucky for them, Gaara was thrilled to just be involved, even if his face would never show it.
He moved with a little more vigor to get to the front door and began counting. If he counted faster than normal, his siblings didn’t call him out. Thirty seconds passed quickly before Gaara was calling out.
“Ready or not, here I come.” It wasn’t as boisterous as Kankuro’s had been, but his heart was in the last place. Gaara’s first thought was to check behind the bathroom door in case Kankuro wanted to take that idea. When nobody was there or in the shower, he went to the kitchen, looking under the counter and checking the pantry just to be safe. He was about to head to the living room when there came a knock at the door.
Gaara froze. Was this an important visitor? Would they need to talk to Kankuro or Temari? Would they be caught playing Hide and Seek?
Another series of knocks, then a voice.
“Is anyone home? I went to the office, but they told me to come here.”
Gaara recognized that voice, but not as much as Temari did.
“Dammit, what is Shikamaru doing here!” The voice came from somewhere behind Gaara, the kitchen probably. But where? He just checked the kitchen. “One second!” Temari called, loud enough for even Shikamaru to hear.
There was the brief sound of some sort of commotion before Temari yelled again.
“Gaara and Kankuro, cover your eyes! Don’t look at where I’m hiding!”
The commotion resumed, followed by a loud metallic CLANG!
“The oven?! The fucking oven?!” This time it was Kankuro, who had just stood up from behind the loveseat to catch Temari clambering into view.
“You asshole, I said no peeking!” She shuffled to the door, adjusting her sash and straightening her kimono along the way. With a preparatory sigh, she opened the door. “Hello, Shikamaru! I didn’t know you’d be in Suna.”
The Leaf shinobi looked Temari up and down, unsure of whether to call out her uncharacteristic hospitality, frazzled expression, or unkempt appearance. He decided on the latter.
“Hey, Temari. I was just here to… are you… covered in soot?”
“What? No!” She dusted herself off as if she could make him unsee the ash. Shikamaru didn’t look swayed, which just pissed Temari off. “Do you have something you need, or did you come here to call me dusty?”
“That’s an added bonus, but I am here on work, actually.”
At this, Temari laid off the defenses.
“Oh. Well, what business? It must be important for you to show up so late.”
“Eh, not really.” Shikamaru scratched at the back of his neck. “We would’ve gotten here earlier, but we had to wait out a sandstorm.”
“We?”
“Yeah, the Hokage sent two of us. We were expecting a shipment of some documents from another village, and they had to pass through the desert. They haven’t turned up so we’re on a tracking mission to look for them, and we’re probably gonna need some assistance navigating the area.
Temari narrowed her eyes.
“Tracking? I assume that means –”
“Kiba’s here too. He’s trying to find if there are any vacancies at some nearby inns.”
“Well good luck.” The kunoichi shifted her weight against the door frame. “Believe it or not, this is our cool season, so travel is way up right now. You maybe would’ve been able to get a hotel had you arrived in the morning, but by now there’s probably nothing.”
Shikamaru closed his eyes and exhaled, somehow slouching even more with the weight of his sigh.
“I figured. Man, this is such a drag. All this for a bunch of paperwork.” He opened his eyes. “I don’t suppose you know of any alleyways for rent?”
“Don’t be ridiculous.” Temari stepped back and to the side, clearly welcoming Shikamaru inside. He took the cue and shuffled through the doorway. “We’re not going to let you sleep outside. I mean, there are campsites on the outskirts of the village, but they’re a trek to get to. You and Kiba can just stay here.”
By now Shikamaru was reclined in the loveseat, his go to spot whenever he visited the siblings. He maintained that it was the best spot because of its placement in the corner, giving it just the right amount of shade while keeping it in the path of the draft when the windows were open. Evidently, having Kankuro standing above him in the narrow space between the chair and the corner didn’t deter Shikamaru from relaxing. Perhaps Kankuro was providing added shade.
“That’s nice of you to offer,” his voice lulled, “but we wouldn’t want to impose. Kiba knows to meet me here, so when he gets back, we’ll just head to the campsites you were talking about.”
“You’re being stubborn.” Kankuro loomed over the Leaf ninja. “You guys are staying here and that’s final. We can get some blankets for the couch.”
Shikamaru opened his eyes, the laziest of smirks on his face while staring up and Kankuro.
“Something tells me that between me and Kiba, only one of us is going to stay in the living room.”
“Shikamaru!” Temari scolded. He sat up, exasperated.
“What! I was talking about Kiba and Kankuro, not us!”
“Either way! Don’t be an idiot.”
At this, Shikamaru rolled his eyes.
“Whatever. Don’t you guys have a game of Hide and Seek to get back to?”
All three siblings exchanged glances. The enemy forces had caught them red handed!
“I’m not sure what you mean, Shikamaru.” Gaara did his best to sound unfazed, which was minimal effort for someone with his tone of voice.
“You guys don’t have to play coy.” Shikamaru spoke without even a hint of judgment in his voice. “It’s pretty obvious. Why else would Kankuro be in the corner behind a couch while Temari’s covered in char from the oven?” If the siblings thought they still had a chance of covering up, Shikamaru quickly dashed those hopes. “Plus, I heard Temari yell at you guys for peeking. She’s not exactly subtle.”
Well.
The jig was up.
At being discovered, the guilty party rushed to defend or explain themselves all at once.
“And what of it! I’m a grown woman, I can do what I want.”
“I was just going along with it! I’d rather be working or whatever!”
“I’ve never done it before and it seemed fun…”
Shikamaru halted the three of them.
“It’s ok!” He held up his hands defensively. “I’m not judging. Honest. It’s been forever since I’ve played Hide and Seek, I’m just jealous you guys have the chance to.”
Temari and Kankuro were wary of Shikamaru, but Gaara was quicker to accept his earnestness.
“So you’ve played before?”
“Yeah!” Shikamaru rose to his feet. “I’m sorta undefeated. When you wanna get out of doing work, you kinda get really good at hiding from people.”
“It just so happens,” Temari stood up straight, raising her head, “that I am also undefeated.” If she was expecting anyone to congratulate her, she sorely misjudged her company.
“We played one fucking round.”
“I’m sorry, Kankuro,” she turned to patronize her brother, “what’s it called when you’ve won something every time you’ve played it? As in, never been defeated?”
“When you’ve only done it once it’s called beginner’s luck. And what psycho hides in the fucking oven!”
“An undefeated psycho.” Was Temari’s winning quip before Shikamaru piped up.
“I’d be willing to knock you down a peg...”
The request was subtle, but clear, though of course Temari was never one for subtle.
“And what do you mean by that?” She asked, knowing exactly what he meant by that.
“Don’t be difficult, you know what I’m trying to say.”
“I really don’t.” She really did.
Shikamaru quietly weighed his options. He could try to match the level of difficulty, turning the tides and forcing Temari to solicit him. He could just forget the whole thing and not give anyone the satisfaction, which would drive Temari nuts but leave him with nothing to do for the evening. Or, he could swallow his pride and take the least troublesome route…
He took a big gulp.
“Can I join your game of Hide and Seek?”
Temari smiled in a way that let Shikamaru know she’d added another tally to her scoreboard.
“Of course! I don’t think Gaara and Kankuro would mind at all.” She looked to her brothers for confirmation. Gaara offered a nod of approval while Kankuro merely shrugged.
“Sure, I don’t see why not. At least now the game won’t end when the first person is found.”
As Shikamaru stood up, he turned to face Kankuro, an eyebrow raised.
“Huh? Why would the game end when the first person is found?”
“Uh, because: there are only three of us. One of us seeks, the other two hide.” He explained it all very slowly. “When the seeker finds the first person, there’s only one other person left, meaning they win.” Kankuro looked between his siblings as if to say, ‘get a load of this idiot.’
Said idiot, however, was not fazed.
“That’s not how the game works.”
This was effective in wiping the shit eating grin off Kankuro’s face. Unfortunately, that was Kankuro’s neutral expression, so he tended to spiral without it.
“Then how do you play, asshole?”
“I mean if you guys wanna change the rules that’s ok too, I’m just saying that the way I played –”
“Don’t spare Kankuro’s feelings.” Temari cut him off. “Just tell us the rules.”
“Well.” He sighed, letting the room know that explaining the rules was a drag. “When the seeker finds someone, that person joins them in looking for the other people. So the game ends once everyone’s been found.”
Everyone took a moment to digest these new rules, appraising them in their head and weighing them against the ones they’d been playing by. Gaara was the first to voice his opinion.
“That would certainly make the game more climactic.”
“I mean, there’s no winner if you play the game that way, but it does make more sense,” Temari added. Then, all eyes fell on Kankuro. Upon his continued silence, Shikamaru decided to prod.
“Are those rules alright with you?” He held back from adding an ‘asshole’ to the end of the question.
“Yeah, sure. Fine. Fucking whatever.” Kankuro muttered, clambering over the loveseat to leave the corner he’d still been standing in. He gracelessly landed on the other side and pushed past Shikamaru. “You oughta carry around a badge… fucking… Hide and Seek police.”
With the rules begrudgingly settled (again), there was only one thing left to take care of, and leave it to Temari to take care of it.
“So I guess Gaara should count again since he was interrupted last time.” While it made sense to the siblings, Shikamaru was once more making waves.
“Why don’t we just do eenie meenie miney moe?”
It may as well have been an incantation to the sand shinobi, who looked at Shikamaru like he was having a stroke. Kankuro tilted his head.
“What the fuck did you just say to me?”
“Ya know…” Shikamaru tried gauging everyone’s face for a semblance of recognition. “Eenie meenie miney moe. It’s a rhyme you use to decide who’s going to be it. Have you guys never used it before?”
“Shikamaru.” Gaara deadpanned. “I want you to try imagining me saying those words, and then reconsider that question.”
It was a very valid point, so Shikamaru moved from question to explanation.
“Here, it’s really easy. Everyone form a circle with me.” The room obeyed. “Alright.” He pointed his finger at himself, then bounced it among everyone as he chanted. “Eenie meenie miney moe, catch a tiger by the toe.” Unsurprisingly, the trio hearing this for the first time looked absolutely perplexed by the words. “If he hollers, let him go.” Shikamaru pointed to himself. “Eenie.” Then to Gaara. “Meenie.” Then to Kankuro. “Miney.” And then his finger landed on Temari. “Moe.”
There was a stretch of silence.
“Ok…?” Temari narrowed her eyes. “And what is that supposed to mean?”
“It means you’re it.”
“Why!” She threw her hands up. “Based on what!”
“Cuz I was pointing at you when I said ‘Moe.’”
“Oh, so you just decide who’s –”
“Temari.” Gaara interrupted. “Of the three of us, Shikamaru is the authority. We’re going to have to defer to him on the rules until we learn them more thoroughly. Besides…” He brought an icy stare to Shikamaru. “I’m sure he knows better than to deceive my sister into being it.”
“If I didn’t before, I definitely know now.” Shikamaru shivered.
“Well fine, I guess I’m it then.” Temari rolled her eyes and almost stomped towards the door. “But this won’t happen again – I’m gonna stay undefeated.” She heard shuffling behind her as she turned to look away from the room. “Oh! And only the first floor, Shikamaru! And no outside or hallways either!”
“I figured, don’t worry.” The voice came from somewhere to the left of her, but she tried to ignore that for the sake of fairness.
If she was going to win, she was going to win without any advantage at all, and she was hell-bent on finding Shikamaru first. They couldn’t both be undefeated, and Temari was in the habit of beating Shikamaru – at least she was if you asked her. She had beaten him in the Chunin exams (an unsatisfying victory, but a victory nonetheless), she had saved his life, and she was a jonin before him, which usurped him becoming a chunin before her – the one victory he had. Give her about five minutes, and she’d be adding “better seeker” to the list, and “better hider” wouldn’t be far to follow.
Speaking of hiders and seekers, Temari realized she’d forgotten to start counting… damn. She guesstimated how long she’d been thinking, and then started counting in her head from there, lowballing the starting number so she’d give them more time to hide if anything. After quietly counting from thirteen to thirty, she alerted the room that, ready or not, she was coming, and then she spun around.
The cushions hadn’t been moved. No signs that the curtains were adjusted, and there wasn’t anything to suggest that someone was behind the loveseat again. Of course, these were only preliminary observations; Temari was dealing with capable shinobi, able to cover their tracks in one second, let alone thirty. So, she worked backward, thinking of the riskiest spots first. And what was riskier than right next to the seeker?
To Temari’s right was an end table. It wouldn’t provide much in the way of cover if you were looking at it from far away, but with how close it was to Temari, she only had a bird’s eye view of it, which meant hiding underneath it would conceal you entirely. She crouched down and –
Wouldn’t ya know it…
“What was that about being undefeated?”
Shikamaru was curled up, legs pressed to his chest and his front facing the wall to show as little of his pale skin as possible.
“Ya know, I was being hyperbolic about the whole undefeated thing. You don’t need to hold it over my head.” He murmured as he rather awkwardly tried to scoot out from under the table. Temari, of course, offered no help.
“God that took me, what, fifteen seconds?”
As Shikamaru rose to his feet, he came to face to face with an all too pleased expression. Of course, Temari’s ‘all too pleased’ expression consisted of green eyes that crinkled at the corners because her smile was almost too big to fit her face, and, really, how could Shikamaru be annoyed at that?
Still, far be it from him to give her the satisfaction, so he kept the fuzzy thoughts to himself and followed Temari as she moved farther into the living room. Or, he would have if she hadn’t put a hand out to stop him.
“What do you think you’re doing?”
The answer was obvious to Shikamaru, but of course he knew Temari well enough by now to know that she had a penchant for complicating the obvious.
“Well I explained it earlier, but I should’ve known you wouldn’t listen.” A smarter man would’ve held back the dig, but Shikamaru needed an ego boost after being found first. “When you find someone, they join you in seeking.”
While Shikamaru had obeyed Temari’s halt gesture and stayed by the end table, the kunoichi had taken in upon herself to start ransacking the living room. Curtains were pulled aside, tables were climbed on to check the support beams, and for whatever reason, she had removed a painting from the wall and knocked on the space behind it. Temari seemed pleased with the hollow thunk that came with the rap of her knuckles, and she was putting the painting back and moving to the kitchen, replying to Shikamaru before he could muster up the energy to question how the hell that could be a hiding spot
“I heard you explain the rules, but I realize I object to them.”
“You realize you object to them?” Shikamaru echoed. “Look, Tem, it’s a game of Hide and Seek, not a meeting with the council. What do you have to object to?”
“First of all:” A metal clang almost smothered her voice. “I don’t need any help with seeking. And second:” Pots and panned clattered together. What the hell was this woman doing? “You probably saw where everyone hid, so it’d be cheating if you helped.” Temari reappeared in the doorway to the kitchen, her expression the closest to lighthearted Shikamaru thought it could get. “Plus, it’s tradition for me to do the work for you. Why change that now?”
The leaf shinobi rolled his eyes.
“Do you always have to be so troublesome? I didn’t pay attention to anyone else’s hiding spot.” A huff from the other seeker signaled her doubt. Shikamaru tried another tactic. “Besides, it’ll be boring for me to just stand here and watch you look around.”
“It won’t take too long, don’t worry.” Temari was now searching the area across from Shikamaru. “Remember: I found you in about fifteen seconds.”
“I’m sure I could find you just as fast if I was the seeker.”
“Oh please.” She turned, walking backward to face the other. “The only thing you can do in fifteen seconds is –”
Her thoughts were cut short when she tumbled into Kankuro’s puppet that he’d left propped against the wall. She and the wrapped figure both crashed into the ground, and, rather suspiciously… both said “ow” upon landing. Confirming her suspicions, she tugged at the bandages the way Kankuro taught her in case she ever needed access to Karasu, and the bindings came undone, loosening until her brother’s shadowy figure was visible.
“Dammit! I was sure that would work!” He sat up on his knees and scowled as he brushed off the remaining bandages.
“How did you get in there so fast? You better not have used ninjutsu!” Of course Temari was worried about the rules. Kankuro reassured her.
“Relax. I’ve done this trick for years; I can get it ready in ten seconds.”
“I’m so sure.” His sister’s narrowed eyes probed, but if Kankuro had used ninjutsu, he clearly wasn’t going to come clean. But it didn’t matter anyway, and Temari figured if he did give himself an unfair advantage, it was all the more impressive she found him so fast.
Far be it from her to admit it was a happy accident.
Kankuro finished shedding himself of the wrappings and stood beside Shikamaru and Temari, the three of them crowding the narrow entryway to the living room.
“So,” Kankuro huffed, “looks like Gaara is the only one left.”
Temari dealt a preemptive strike.
“Don’t tell me where he is!” A (decently) manicured nail was aimed between Kankuro’s eyes.
“Calm down, I heard you scolding your little boy toy.” Kankuro pushed his sister’s finger out of his face. “I won’t say anything.”
“Do you know where he is?” Shikamaru asked.
“Yeah, I saw him hiding. But don’t worry,” he added when he saw even the slightest hint of movement from his sister’s jaw, “I’m just going to sit on the couch and let you guys look. I won’t help.”
“Good. And no hints either!”
“As if I would want you to succeed.” The retort killed two birds with one stone, sufficient in teasing his sister while also raising a good point that assured Temari he would not be helping her. Confident her brother wouldn’t meddle, Temari turned to her new seeking partner.
“Gaara is smaller than Kankuro and me, and he’s always been very good at remaining undetected; it helped a lot with assassinations.”
“Could’ve left that out...”
“I’ll take care of the kitchen and the other rooms. I want you to finish up the living room since you’ve spent the most time in here.”
“If that’s your logic, he should check your bedroom first.” The harsh tug on his nose was a fair trade for what Kankuro considered to be a very good dig. Fingers still pinching her brother’s nostrils shut, Temari continued.
“When you’re done with the living room you should do a second sweep of the places I’ve checked, starting with the kitchen. After the kitchen you should go to the bathroom and then the pantry. If we still haven’t found him by then, regroup where I found you and we can discuss a change of plans.”
“You are the bossiest woman I have ever met.”
“And militant,” Kankuro added. “You know there isn’t a prize for this, right?”
“It’s called ‘intrinsic motivation,’ Kankuro,” Temari called on her way to the kitchen. “Victory is its own reward. You would know this if you won things more often.”
Instead of answering his sister, Kankuro grumbled to Shikamaru as he checked under the couch.
“I blame you for this. If you’d just beaten her in the Chunin Exams, she wouldn’t have this ego.”
“Believe me, I would’ve won if I could’ve.” Shikamaru remained bent down on the floor, no doubt doing his task as slow as possible to mess with Temari. “Anyway, you know how Temari is; she’s humble when it comes down to it. Or rather when it comes to anyone besides us.”
“How about we humble her even more?”
This caught Shikamaru’s attention. He raised his eyes from below the couch to meet Kankuro, who gestured for Shikamaru to look just a bit lower. Kankuro lifted the cushion he was sitting on ever so slightly, enough to reveal a hint of red and pale blue eyes.
“Temari doesn’t know that I broke the couch a while back. The frame is totally dented so you can fit under the cushions.”
“How did you break the couch?” Shikamaru whispered, not trying to draw Temari’s attention away from whatever she was searching in the kitchen.
“Well…” Kankuro cracked his knuckles the way he always does when he’s feeling awkward. “It was around when Kiba and I started dating.”
Shikamaru watched the pale blue eye widen from under the cushion.
“Oh no.”
“Sorry, Gaara.” Kankuro patted his seat.
Ignoring the implications of the broken couch timeline, Shikamaru looked up to Kankuro.
“So you want me to help you hide Gaara?”
“Duh.” Kankuro rolled his eyes. “Come sit next to me so Temari doesn’t notice the cushions are all lumpy and shit.”
“It’s not gonna be too much weight, is it?” Shikamaru asked the concealed Kazekage-to-be.
“If I can handle Kankuro’s weight, I can handle yours.”
Kankuro furrowed his brow.
“You’re such a little shit!”
“Did you say something, Kankuro?” Temari hollered from the kitchen.
“No, you just keep looking for Gaara. Not that you’ll find him.” Upon hearing Temari’s footsteps pad towards the living room, Kankuro frantically turned to Shikamaru. “Come on! Sit next to me!”
Unmotivated to argue and eager to make things difficult for Temari, Shikamaru obliged, planting himself right beside Kankuro just as Temari came into view.
“That’s bold talk coming from someone that…” she stopped when she saw her seeking partner lounging about. “Shikamaru?”
“Yes, dear?” He coolly turned his neck to face her.
“First of all, do not call me that again. Second, did I authorize a break?”
“It’s not a break, I’m resigning.”
At this, Temari deflated, unable to conceal the utter disappointment in her voice.
“Oh. Are we done playing?”
The slight pout on Temari’s face broke Shikamaru’s heart. There was a lot to admire about the kunoichi, but he found her enthusiasm most attractive. He loved the way she did everything with the intention of doing it the best. Hell, when she took the Chunin Exams it was just a cover for an invasion, but she still made sure she won – even if it didn’t mean anything. She had a strong sense of pride, and whether it was a fight to the death or a game of hide and seek, Shikamaru couldn’t deny her a satisfying victory.
“No, we’re still playing. I figured you’d prefer more of a challenge.”
Temari perked up a bit.
“Why the sudden change of heart? I thought you’d be bored just watching me seek.”
“Maybe I got lazy.”
The kunoichi remained skeptical, narrowing her eyes while the gears visibly turned. Eventually though, the light returned to her, along with a Cheshire grin.
“Hm. Challenge accepted. I should’ve known you’d just give up.” She turned heel. “At least you’re not crying this time.”
Shikamaru took a deep breath.
“You girls are all alike. Can’t let anything go, can you?”
“Us girls are all alike because we all consistently kick your ass.” Were Temari’s final words before leaving for the bathroom, the sound of shuffling curtains and creaking cabinets not far behind her teasing.
On the couch, Shikamaru slumped against the cushions, careful not to put too much weight on Gaara.
“Your sister is something else.”
Kankuro, who’d been listening to the exchange with a concealed smirk, nodded in agreement.
“Yeah, but it’s something good, I guess.” At that, Shikamaru smiled, finding nothing there to argue with. The two men sat in content silence for a while, listening to the sounds of the linen closet being ransacked. When there came a second wave of clattering from the kitchen, Shikamaru and Kankuro turned to each other, trying their hardest to stifle their laughter. Temari was going to be so pissed with them.
“You know,” Kankuro whispered when he finally composed himself, “she does like when you call her dear.”
Shikamaru raised a brow at the revelation.
“Does she now?”
“Sure does.” The sand shinobi picked at his flaking nail polish, never one for eye contact during serious conversations. “When we were little, Rasa – or, dad…” Whether the clarification was for himself or Shikamaru, Kankuro didn’t know, “he would sometimes call Mom ‘dear.’ It wasn’t very often because he wasn’t a very affection or good person, but I guess sometimes he decided he loved his family. And when he did, he always said ‘dear.’ Said it to Temari sometimes too.” Shikamaru listened with an ever-softening expression. “So, I think to her the word is special. It’s the only term of endearment that she’s ever really heard.”
“You sure it doesn’t upset her? Being reminded of her dad, I mean.”
Kankuro waved the idea off.
“Nah. She had better memories with him than Gaara and I did. She didn’t like him, but he was still her dad.” Shikamaru nodded as Kankuro continued. “Besides, I think in her mind it’s like you’re comparing her to Mom – since that’s the only person she heard get called ‘dear.’”
“And it’s a good thing to compare her to her mom?”
For the first time Shikamaru could remember, he saw a soft smile form on Kankuro’s face. Not a lopsided grin, not a playful smirk that closed one of his eyes, but a true smile that brought an unfamiliar airiness to him as he looked somewhere past Shikamaru.
“Yeah. It’s a very good thing.”
Below them, the upholstery of the couch collected tiny dark spots as the fabric absorbed the tears rolling down Gaara’s cheeks.
“Alright.” Temari charged like a bull into the China shop living room, and the three men shook themselves of the conversation. “I have reason to believe Gaara is cheating.”
“What? Why?” Kankuro, freshly composed, feigned ignorance.
“Because,” authoritative footsteps echoed the room as Temari marched around the couch to stand in front of her brother and her boyfriend, hands planted on her hips, “I have checked the kitchen, bathroom, and closet twice now. He’s not in the office, he’s not in the shower, he’s not in any of the cupboards, he isn’t anywhere I’ve looked.”
“Yeah, that’s kinda the point of the game.”
Temari was not in the mood for Kankuro to play dumb.
“It’s impossible. He is a somewhat grown adult.” Unseen to anyone, there came a pout from beneath the ass of Kankuro and Shikamaru. Temari continued. “There are only so many places he can hide.”
“You haven’t looked in the living room at all.” Shikamaru offered, careful not to sound too much like he was giving her a hint.
“You already checked the living room.” She replied alongside an eyeroll.
“I never said that.”
Temari blinked. A brief silence. Then an outburst.
“You didn’t finish checking the living room?!”
“I told you! I wasn’t going to help you look!”
“I thought you decided that after not being able to find Gaara! I didn’t realize you hadn’t looked at all!”
“Hey, I saw him looking a bit.” Kankuro came to Shikamaru’s defense, though it was predictably futile.
“He should’ve told me he didn’t finish looking in here! I’ve been checking the kitchen for ten minutes like a complete –” The rest of the sentence stopped short in her mouth. “Kankuro and Shikamaru. Stand up.”
“Huh?” In the category of playing dumb, Kankuro was going for the Oscar. “I don’t want to stand up, I’m comfortable.”
“I don’t care, I need you both to stand up.”
Shikamaru and Kankuro exchanged a glance, unsure how to play this off. Eventually, the former took the lead.
“Why?”
“Because.” Crossed arms and narrowed eyes heralded the boys’ downfall. “Kankuro looks taller.”
“I look taller?”
“Kankuro, I have stood in this exact spot while you sit in that exact spot about a hundred times. Whenever we argue, I stand here and you sit there. I am very familiar with this setup so I would know if something were off, and as I stand here right now, your head is above where it usually is.”
Backed into a corner, Shikamaru tried the most reliable tactic when it came to a man arguing with a woman.
Gaslighting.
“Temari, you sound crazy. There is no way you could tell if Kankuro’s head was in a different spot than it usually is. Maybe he’s sitting up straighter.”
“Maybe I got taller.”
“Or maybe someone is beneath the two of you.”
Of course, Temari wouldn’t be dissuaded by the doubts of a man, so the two on the couch looked between each other before sighing with defeat, standing up as Temari requested. She claimed her prize when she pushed past the two of them and lifted the cushions to find her youngest brother lying uncomfortably on the broken frame of the couch.
“You found me.” He deadpanned.
“Aha!” Temari yelled. “I knew it!”
“You didn’t know shit!” Kankuro countered.
“I surely did, you filthy cheater. Shame on you for trying to pull a fast one on me.” Temari looked down at her brother still in the couch. “Shame on you for letting him.” Finally, she glowered at her boyfriend. “And shame on you for helping him.”
“Oh, come on, Tem. It would’ve been too easy for you otherwise.”
“Uh-uh. Don’t try to flatter me now. You wanna defend the couch so much, you can sleep on it every time you stay here.”
“Kankuro and Kiba have beat him to it,” Gaara mumbled as he clambered out of the frame. Temari pointed to where Gaara just left and glanced at Kankuro.
“You’re fixing this tomorrow.”
“Sure, whatever. If I remember.”
Completely uninterested in the couch after spending so much time in it, Gaara reminded the group of more important matters.
“Did I win?”
Well, that depended on who you asked. Temari sure as hell wasn’t going to count this as a defeat, especially considering all the brotherly and lover-ly collusion, but Kankuro would never default to letting Temari win. Having reached an impasse, the siblings turned to their resident expert.
“I’m not really sure Hide and Seek has a winner.”
“If it’s a game, there’s a winner.” Temari retorted, and Shikamaru should’ve seen that one coming.
“Fine. Well, I guess Temari wins because she found everyone and didn’t give up, but of the hiders, Gaara wins because he was found last.”
“So only I lose?” Kankuro balked.
“Hey, I’m right there with you.”
“And it serves both of you right.” Temari put a hand on Gaara’s shoulder. “Welcome to the winner’s circle.” The youngest beamed (as much as Gaara could beam) with satisfaction. He willed his mouth to join the teasing, but couldn’t find a fitting shape, and wound up swallowing the bitter pill of his impulse.
Kankuro, perpetually the middle child, was unsatisfied with the current winner’s circle.
“Whatever. Let’s just get on with the next round – and this time I’m winning.”
“I think you should have to seek because you didn’t play fair.” Temari countered.
“That’s bullshit, let’s just do enemy mini mow or whatever it was called.”
“Eenie meenie miney moe, I believe.” The Jinchuriki corrected, pleased to remember the rhyme.
“Yeah, whatever.” And Kankuro missed how his brother deflated beside him.
“No, I don’t like it. It’s unfair; it doesn’t reward the winner.” Protested, of course, the winner. “Besides, we all remember the rhyme so someone could try to position themselves in a way that they know would keep them safe from being ‘it.’”
Even Gaara found it impossible not to huff at that. But before Kankuro could make some snide counter, Shikamaru piped up with a sensible solution.
“I could do the extended version, and you can tell me who to start with. That way, none of us can cheat.”
Gaara raised an eyebrow… or rather, the skin where his eyebrow would be.
“The extended version?”
“Yeah. Kids are obnoxious so there are tons of versions of the rhyme. They’re all pretty stupid.”
“Does that suit your fancy, Captain Temari?” And Kankuro knew he’d pay for bringing up Temari’s private daydreams.
“Fine. I’m clearly outnumbered. And before you ask, start with…” Temari sucked in her lip as she thought. “Kankuro.”
With that, Shikamaru had all the permission he needed to start the rhyme, huffing a deep sigh before pointing to Kankuro and bopping his finger around like before.
“Eenie meenie miney moe, catch a tiger by the toe, if he hollers let him go,” this is where the plot of the rhyme thickened, stupefying the sand siblings, “my mother says to pick the very best one and you are it, the color of chakra is blue so I… choose… you.”
“This is ridiculous” It seemed the odds were stacked against Temari, who was staring down Shikamaru’s finger like she had a gun to her head and was daring someone to pull the trigger. Shikamaru, the unfortunate gunman, was left to defuse the situation – which felt more akin to defusing a bomb.
Now which wire to cut?
“Tough luck, Tem. Sorry.”
Temari huffed an indecipherable breath before relaxing her shoulders.
“It’s fine. Just another opportunity to prove myself smarter than you.”
Try as he might to fight it, a silent laugh pulled up the corners of Shikamaru’s mouth.
“If that’s what it takes to motivate you.”
“Get a room, oh my god.” Leave it to a younger brother to ruin a moment.
Despite Kankuro’s interjection, the next round started the same as the others; Temari stood at the door and closed her eyes and counted with authority while the rest of the room scattered to hide. Shikamaru took to the office while Kankuro scoured the kitchen for a spot, leaving Gaara standing alone in the living room. He hadn’t moved or spoken much since the end of the last round, choosing instead to observe the interactions unfolding before him.
Shikamaru, Gaara decided, was rather charismatic. He had what Gaara believed was called a “schtick,” always singing the same lazy tune despite the common knowledge that he was incredibly hard working. Perhaps this was why so many people enjoyed his company; he was rarely a surprise when it came to mood or whim. Of course, his intellect afforded him an impressive arsenal of “smart ass remarks,” as Temari called them, and they were obviously part of his charm despite Temari’s insistence on the contrary.
Speaking of Temari, she was another conversationalist that Gaara found interesting to study. He could recall several of the adjectives used to describe her: blunt, cruel, stern – and yet, this seemed to be her appeal. The council called her for most all diplomatic assignments, and of course she was becoming a full-fledged ambassador, so her social skills must be above average. How? Gaara wondered. He heard the way she spoke, often employing a tone that sounded the way a snarl looks. She was threatening, she was harsh, she was respected. And Gaara was savvy enough to know that one of those things was not like the other.
Most puzzling of all was Kankuro. If Temari was harsh, Kankuro was downright savage. Vulgarity fit in his mouth better than some of his teeth, and he had an abject disregard for any kind of etiquette, even when speaking with the council. And still, Gaara thought, and still… He was loved. Vendors approached him like family, hardened shinobi were thrilled for his company at bars, and he had one of the most loving relationships Gaara was ever witness to.
Both of his siblings had that.
Gaara contemplated what he knew about his siblings’ interactions with others and found any kind of helpful inference to be ephemeral.
Then, he came to a conclusion that folded his heart inward on itself, crumpling it like failed origami.
He should not be Kazekage.
At least, that was the echo ricocheting violently in the cavernous tumult of Gaara’s mind. But how could he deny it? He watched his siblings and peers interacting, and internally he tried to play along. He would try to predict, with scarcely improving success, what the next tonal shift would be, or what reaction a certain question would elicit. It was a losing battle Gaara fought by himself, finding his waterloo in the nuance of conversation.
It wasn’t to say that Gaara was emotionless – far from it. In fact, after realizing Temari had reached twenty and he had still not moved an inch, Gaara felt a saturated and rather suffocating emotion, like his body was filled with vomit. He moved sluggishly forward; eyes downcast enough to find a spot for himself behind a large vase adjacent to the door to the building’s main hallways.
Upon making himself small enough to fit behind the terra cotta, Gaara shrunk even further as he considered what a village would look like if run by a socially inept outcast. And while a soothsayer he was not, Gaara could predict that such a village would hardly last a year.
So loud were Gaara’s spiraling thoughts that he didn’t notice Temari’s announcement that she was ready, nor her footsteps trailing to the bathroom just out of sight from Gaara’s current position. He didn’t even hear the opening of the door beside him, so you can imagine his surprise at a sudden weight pressing against his shoulder.
“Ga- I mean… Lord Kazekage?”
Gaara, never one for big reactions, looked up more wide-eyed than usual, ignoring the cruelly ironic titular correction and shoving his thoughts somewhere that he could address later.
“Kiba.” It was more personal reassurance that Gaara wasn’t being ambushed than it was an actual greeting to the Leaf ninja, though he seemed to take it as the latter given his toothy smile.
“Heya!”
The two remained in a deadlock of wildly contrasting emotions. Kiba had the aura of a dog wagging its tail, while Gaara took the disposition of a puppy getting his nosed shoved in a fresh puddle of his own pee.
“What’re you doing hiding behind a vase?”
Darn.
That was the glaring question Gaara didn’t want to answer. What was that trick Kankuro had taught him about answering questions you don’t want to answer with another question?
“What… are you doing in this building?”
“Oh! Yeah, well, I went to look around for vacancies at nearby inns but they’re all filled up. I was supposed to meet Shikamaru back at the Kazekage, or I guess your office, but he wasn’t there. That’s when I bumped into your sensei, and he said Shikamaru was probably in your living quarters and that I should just head straight there.”
“That makes sense.”
“So why are you hiding behind a vase?”
Darn again.
“We’re playing Hide and Seek.” Temari interjected rather suddenly from across the room. She took a deep breath, sagging her shoulders and placing her hands on her hips upon exhaling. “And now this win doesn’t count.”
“Oh, okay. Is that why Kankuro’s on top of the cupboards.”
“You asshole!” The exclamation was followed by the clumsy sound of heavy feet landing harshly against the floor.
“I was going to check there anyway.”
“Bullshit you were! I had you beat that time!”
Ever vigilant to mitigate any increase in volume, Shikamaru poked his head out of the office.
“Any luck on the rooms?”
“Nah. Everything is fully booked.”
“Yeah, no shit. Nothing is gonna be available at this time of night. Besides, we already told Shikamaru that you guys are staying here.”
“Ooh. Someone’s eager for me to spend the night.” Kiba sidled up next to Kankuro and unabashedly nuzzled his nose into the crook of his next, much to the chagrin of the siblings who were not accustomed to PDA.
“Heel, pooch. You’re gonna sleep on the couch.”
“He will not.” Gaara looked to the couch and a chill ran up his spine. He decided he would shower as soon as the game was over.
Speaking of which…
“Kiba.” The youngest child finally rose to his feet. “Would you care to join us?”
“In Hide and Seek?”
“No, dumbass, on an S rank mission.” Kankuro elbowed his boyfriend as he attempted to hug him from behind.
“The more the merrier.” Was the most enthusiastic invitation Shikamaru could muster.
“Well since Shikamaru asked so nicely, hell yeah I’ll join in. Us Inazuka’s are known for our seeking abilities.”
“Hold on, now!” Temari interjected. “If you join, you are not allowed to use your smell to find us. We already decided no ninjutsu allowed.”
“Aw, you guys are boring!” He pouted against Kankuro’s shoulder.
“Don’t be mad that you can’t win without an advantage.” Kankuro tossed back.
“Listen, moron, I haven’t even played yet! I can still beat you no problem.”
“Let’s put your money where your dog breath is then, mutt.”
“Fine, but I get to hide first.”
Were a vinyl playing, now is when it would have scratched and come to a comically timed stop. The blinks of the sand siblings were practically audible as they looked to Kiba for an explanation. When none was offered, Temari took the initiative.
“What do you mean you get to hide first?”
“Isn’t it obvious? I wanna be the one that hides first.”
“Don’t we all hide?”
“Oh, you guys are playing that version?”
The groan emitted by all three siblings shook the entire building.
“Another version?!” Kankuro blanched.
“Who cares at this point!” And it took a special kind of emotional erosion to wear Temari down to the point of not arguing. “How do you play Hide and Seek, Kiba.”
Sensing he’d created some kind of tension, Kiba took the unfamiliar route of caution as he explained.
“Well, you pick one person to hide and they… ya know… hide. Then everyone else looks for them. When someone finds the person, they both hide in that spot together, and when the next person finds them, they hide with them until everyone is hiding in the same spot.”
“So…” Kankuro furrowed his brow. “If you were hiding in the pantry and I found you, I’d have to join you in the pantry?”
“Yeah, and then if Shikamaru found us, he’d also join us in the pantry.”
“When did our pantry get so big,” Gaara said for nothing but his own amusement.
“When you play it this way,” Temari began, and Shikamaru preemptively rolled his eyes, “how do you decide who wins?”
“You don’t. I guess instead of a winner there’s just one loser.”
Temari mulled it over.
“I’m fine with that. So let’s get started then! Everyone circle up for eenie meenie miney moe.”
“Oh, you guys are doing that to decide who’s it?”
At that, Temari had to consciously will away an aneurism. She braced the middle and index fingers of both hands against her temples.
“How else would you suggest we do it?”
Kiba smiled with a certain glint in his eyes that went unnoticed by all but Shikamaru. He held his arms out and bent them, connecting his hands at the fingertips to form an O with his arms parallel to the floor.
“Kiba.” Shikamaru cautioned, but the other would not relent.
“Ok, everyone put your hand in the fishbowl.”
For what must have been the hundredth time tonight, the sand siblings looked to Shikamaru as a guide. The Leaf shinobi sighed, which would have been a clue if he didn’t do that so often, and put his hand in the circle created by Kiba’s arms. Never one to hesitate, Temari followed suit, and Kankuro and Gaara’s hands joined soon after.
“Alright, now someone put a hand in for me.” Kiba threw out there.
If people expected Shikamaru to help them figure this out, they were shit out of luck, because he simply stood there, eying Kiba with a witheringly unamused look. True to her nature, Temari capitalized on Shikamaru’s inaction and did as she was told, putting another hand in the “fishbowl” and sealing her fate.
“Alright, Temari’s it,” Kiba announced, causing the kunoichi to pull back both hands with indignation.
“Excuse me! I did exactly what you said!”
“Yeah, and whoever falls for it is it.”
“Falls for it?!”
“Temari, if you’re it you get to be the one that hides.” Shikamaru rationalized, and it succeeded in alleviating some of Temari’s outrage.
“Didn’t you want to hide, idiot? Why would you trick Temari into hiding first?”
“Because,” Kiba answered Kankuro between suppressed giggles, “it’s like, the oldest trick on the playground; I wanted to see if it would work on you guys.”
This of course created a heated and lighthearted debacle that could only be resolved by Shikamaru’s expert mediating and, somehow, more pinching of Kankuro’s nose from Temari. Upon the fight’s conclusion, Temari made the boys stand with their noses against the wall while they counted, and then she ran to hide. Because of Kiba’s insistence that more space would be more fun, the group had opened up the boundaries to include the building’s main hallways, but only as far as the main office and the stairwell.
However, Temari had a strategy. Thinking three steps ahead, she assumed that everyone else would assume that she would hide in one of the new areas. As such, Temari decided that the shower would be the best spot.
As she expected, her strategy was rather successful. It took Shikamaru a good seven minutes to finally happen upon her, though Gaara and Kiba were not far behind. Being the big fat loser (Temari’s words) that he was, Kankuro was given the opportunity to redeem himself as the hider. He opted for a far less subtle spot and hid in the pantry that was used as an example earlier. He justified the spot to himself by saying it was too obvious for anyone to check, and he justified it the same way to Gaara upon being found within three minutes. Shikamaru was the last to join the pantry party that round, though it didn’t bother him nearly as much as it had bothered Kankuro. What especially bothered Kankuro, however, was when he was the last to find everyone hiding behind the door to the main office, earning him the title of “Big Fat Loser Supreme.”
Kiba’s words, this time.
Eager to stump the group, Kankuro concentrated hard enough to burst a blood vessel. It paid off, however, when the greatest spot of the night dawned on him. As the group counted, Kankuro ran to the kitchen, making as much noise as possible before sneaking away to the halls. He couldn’t hear the group’s counting anymore, making him panic as he scrambled to reach his spot.
Because of infighting that followed Rasa’s death, the Kazekage building had to undergo some very minor reconstruction, and while the Hidden Sand was unmatched in training programs, its infrastructural projects were… lackadaisical at best. As such, there were still several support beams running horizontal across the ceilings of the Kazekage building.
One of them happened to be near the door to the main office, just barely in bounds and rather serendipitously above the group’s previous hiding spot.
With great upper body strength and more effort than any children’s game required, Kankuro managed to hoist himself onto the beam, pleased to find that there was enough space between the bar and the ceiling for him to fit snugly.
Victory came in the form of a ten-minute interval in which nobody even looked above their heads. Kankuro had duped them, and the satisfaction was well worth the dust invading his nostrils. While the win was more than delectable, Kankuro wasn’t content to gloat in private, so when he saw the shape of a familiar Leaf ninja pause briefly beneath him, Kankuro called out in a hesitant whisper.
“Kiba.”
Immediately, the Inuzuka’s head snapped up, and a full-faced smile took over.
After making sure nobody else was around, Kiba leapt up to join Kankuro, leaping off the wall to reach the beam in a display of agility that Kankuro found entirely unnecessary.
“You are such an asshole!” Kiba whispered, though the giddiness in his voice was both undeniable and impossible not to share.
“Isn’t this spot perfect!” Kankuro rolled over on his side so that Kiba could lay against his chest. Of course, the only reason Kankuro did this was so that they could both fit on the beam, but Kankuro was happy to accept the weight of his boyfriend pressed against him as a bonus.
“It is! I can’t believe it!”
“Can’t believe what? That I outsmarted everyone?” Kankuro dragged the word out.
“No. I can’t believe you fit all this ass up here.” He punctuated it with a smack to the aforementioned ass, squeezing it and relishing in the fact that there was just too much to fit in his hand. Before the two men could even think about going further, a tired and calm voice cut through the air.
“Not up there too.”
Kankuro looked down.
“Don’t worry, Gaara, we’re just hiding. Now hurry up and join us!”
Gaara inspected the beam, trying to find somewhere that he could fit. The beam was hardly wide enough for the three of them to lay side by side, but there appeared to be just enough space on the opposite end if he curled up.
Without much time to second guess, Gaara leapt to grab hold of the beam and pull himself up, and Kiba noted that this was the first time he’d ever seen Gaara truly exert himself. Fortunately, the dome-shaped ceiling created just enough space on the opposite end of Kankuro and Kiba, and as long as Gaara kept his knees tucked to his chest, he could fit relatively easily.
The next part, Kankuro decided, was the most fun. The only people left looking were Shikamaru and Temari, the two most intelligent shinobi playing. This was something that Kankuro could not wait to hold over Temari’s head, and with each passing minute, the potential to use this against her grew exponentially.
Finally, after another five minutes of silence, the group was discovered.
“You’re kidding me.” Shikamaru crossed his arms as he stared at the three cramped shinobi.
“Took you long enough!” Kankuro didn’t even bother to keep his voice down. He had already won.
Temari came into view.
“Did you say something, Shikamaru?” Kankuro watched as her eyes followed the path of his gaze, landing on the beam before inching up to lock with Kankuro’s.
“Shit.”
“I’m sorry, Temari.” Gaara began. “You were the last to find us.”
“Seems like it.” She bit out, more annoyed at Kankuro’s victory than her own defeat.
“Looks like I’m passing on my title to you, big fat loser.” The face Kankuro received could have cleared a battlefield, so he scrambled to correct himself. “Just big los- loser. Just loser.”
“I couldn’t possibly take the title when you worked so hard for it.”
“Said the loser!” There was no winning with Kankuro, but before Temari could defend herself, Shikamaru was taking the reins.
“You’re not a loser, dear.” He mumbled to her cheek before leaving behind a quick kiss and throwing an arm over her shoulder. As he pulled her against his chest, she looked down at her feet, hiding the pink dusting her cheeks.
“Don’t call me that…”
The tenderness of the moment was entirely lost, however, when a booming voice blew through the hallway.
“What is going on here!”
The Leaf shinobi knew to be intimidated by the tone of the voice, but for the three Sand ninja that recognized the voice, they knew exactly how intimidated to be.
“Baki!” Temari turned and bowed. “We didn’t realize you were still here.”
“Clearly.” The older man huffed. “Now explain what’s going on.”
“I’m afraid there –”
“Get down from there, Kankuro! And anyone else that’s up there!”
“Yes, sir!” Kankuro did as he was told, followed by Gaara and Kiba. “As I was saying, sir, I’m afraid there isn’t really a good explanation.”
“Try me.” Their sensei narrowed his eyes.
“We are playing Hide and Seek.” Gaara finally spoke upon realizing that his siblings were too embarrassed and that the Leaf ninja would not be addressing Baki anytime soon.
“You didn’t get enough of Hide and Seek as children?” The question was halfway between a rhetorical dig and a damning interrogation.
“We never played as kids, sir.”
Baki responded with a gruff hum, followed by a long, tense silence. Were Kiba and Shikamaru not equally alarmed, they would have laughed at seeing the big, bad Sand siblings getting scolded like children. However, compassion took over amusement, and Shikamaru felt he was responsible in part for enabling the game.
“Sir, it was not our intention –”
“Quiet.” The word succeeded in eliciting just that. “I’m thinking.”
Another silence.
Kiba looked to Kankuro. Kankuro to Temari. Temari to Gaara. Gaara to his feet.
Baki took a deep breath. “This is your base.”
“We know, sensei, and we apologize –”
“No.” Baki cut Temari off, tapping the door frame to the Kazekage’s office. “This is your base. Now.” His voice reverberated with the harsh anger it always carried. “I’m going to close my eyes and count to thirty, and when I open my eyes…” the room waited anxiously for Baki’s next words. “You all have to make it back to base before I tag you.”