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It’s bright today.
We are sitting underneath a tree together, I made us some food. you insisted on helping prepare it. I stole glances whenever you looked away, your dark red eyes softer, relaxed. When we set up this picnic, I caught sight of how your hair waved gently in the breeze and nearly let go of my end of the blanket. I had to set out the food to distract myself, and hopefully get that embarrassing blush off my face.
I’m almost glad other people were there. Almost. Purely because I don’t know if I'd be able to function with only you and me. After all, I nearly short-circuited when you complimented my dress, only able to mumble out a thank you afterwards. Coming from you, it meant the world. I wonder if you know that.
“You’re down bad.” I hear Tenko say, through some chewing.
“Indeed” Korekiyo almost immediately takes a sip of tea afterwards.
They’re right, and I know it. I just nod, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. I’m glad you’re distracted by your friends. That would’ve been a terrible way to confess.
There’s chatting among the four of us, Korekiyo, Tenko, Angie and I. I participate, but still, I catch glances over at you. it’s nice to see you smile, you don’t do it too often.
At some point, you and your friends move closer to our spot in the shade. I’m thankful for the sunhat hiding the blush on my face every time the gentle breeze flows through your hair.
“Kirumi, this is delicious!” I snap out of it, turning and quickly thank Kaito, who had spoken (albeit through bites of the sandwich).
I see as you glance over at him, tucking a few strands of hair behind your ear and I feel a quick pang of pain in my chest. I still hold a small smile on my face, but it hurts. I know the way you look at him, it’s the same way that I look at you. But that’s okay, as long as you’re happy. Maybe that’s all that matters.
I stay quiet for most of the chatting, sipping my tea and nodding along to the conversation, idly staring into the deep brownish-red liquid in my cup. It reminds me a bit of your eyes, so I look up and glance over at you again, catching Angie’s wandering gaze as I do. She smiles, the look in her eyes tells me that she knows what I was thinking about. She takes a sip of tea, eyes darting over to you before falling back on me. I silently nod as she keeps drinking. Even after she’s done, she does not mention anything. Maybe she understands.
She understands I can’t say anything. I don’t want to put you in an awkward position, especially when I know your heart doesn’t long for me. I’ll just keep my heart safely in my hands, where no one can harm it. You look over, I glance down into the swirling dregs of tea still left in my cup, face growing redder as I do. I manage out an excuse, the sun doesn’t see my skin often. It’s not entirely false, I suppose, and no one goes to correct me.
The sun begins to fall in the sky, and the picnic continues. I’m glad that everyone has enjoyed their time, though I can’t help but feel a little bittersweet personally. The peck on his cheek makes me turn away and stack up everyone’s empty cups.
When I look back though, I can’t be upset. The way the sunlight filtered through the leaves falls on you, it makes my heart flutter.
I love you.
I can’t tell you.
Maybe the sun on your face will do it for me.