Chapter Text
“Singing?” Liara asks, thinking she must have heard wrong.
“Hum.” Tali nods at her.
Liara looks around the kitchen area, making sure there’s no one too close to them, and, leaning forwards to rest her weight on the table, she asks about it again.
“Shepard… Singing?” She inquires a second time.
“Yeah...”
Liara and Tali look at each other with a confused look on their faces. Not really sure what to think about the whole situation. The asari is the first to make up her mind, deciding her friend has surely misheard or confused the commander with another person.
“You must be mistaken.” Liara affirms with a low tone in her voice.
“I’m not.” She responds right away. “I swear.” The quarian nods as she says all this, convinced of what she’s telling her.
They sit in silence for a few seconds. Liara’s face is still showing doubt, but she starts to wonder if it can really be true, hearing her friend’s response.
“What’s wrong?” Garrus says, appearing out of nowhere. “What did I miss?” He takes a few steps, joining the group and sitting down next to Tali, resting his arms on the kitchen table.
“Nothing...” Tali replies, turning to speak with him. “I was just asking Liara if she knew if it’s normal behaviour for a human to sing out loud when they are alone.”
“Oh, I see.” He thinks about it for a few seconds, forming an opinion about the matter, before he starts speaking again. “I’d say that it depends on the human… Yes. Who are we talking about?”
He waits patiently for an answer to his question, neither of them knowing who should speak first. Both of their gazes meet and, after a few seconds, Liara smiles softly at Tali and decides to give him an answer.
“Shepard...” She says, in disbelief.
“Huh. Well that’s strange.” He replies shortly without a second thought.
“Strange falls short… I mean, Shepard. Our Shepard. Singing.” Liara raises her hand in complete awe, still not believing what Tali just told her. “That kind of behavior doesn’t feel like her at all… I mean, she doesn’t even have a sense of rhythm.”
“No, that’s where you're mistaken.” Garrus says like what he’s about to say it’s common knowledge. “I mean, haven’t you ever fought with her?”
“Erm… Yes. But what’s that supposed to mean?”
“Shepard is always listening to music during combat, or at least on every occasion when she’s far enough from the first line of fire… Helps her accuracy with the sniper. And, don’t tell her this, but I started to use the trick, it’s a good one.” Garrus looks at the surprise in their faces as he finishes saying this, discovering maybe he’s the only one who knows that about Shepard. “Didn’t you know?”
“No.” Both of them say at the same time, a little bit shocked they weren’t aware of all that information until now.
“And I’ve heard her singing before too. Humming tunes and all that kind of stuff.” Garrus replies. ”It’s one of the first things I noticed about her back in the old days.”
“Then why did you say it was strange then?”
“Well, it’s been quite a while. Years, I would say, since the last time I… ” Garrus has a small moment of clarity and pauses right away. He looks at the ceiling for a second and smiles, or does whatever it is that turians do when they’re happy. Finally . He thinks, trying to contain his elation the best he can.
After a few seconds he comes back to reality, moving his eyes a couple times from Liara to Tali and vice versa in order to see if they have reached the same conclusion he has.
Once he realizes they haven't, the turian stands up and looks in the starboard port direction.
“She listened to me...” He says mainly to himself. She actually listened to me… I can’t believe it.
“Huh?” Tali asks, trying to understand his strange reaction.
“Errmm… That you shouldn’t listen to me.” Garrus responds as he comes back to reality. “You know what?” He says looking for an excuse to go and find out if his suspicions are true. ”I haven’t slept too much lately… Carry on, I’ve got things to do.”
Garrus disappears in a few seconds, leaving Tali and Liara behind in the kitchen area, still confused about the whole conversation.
“EDI… Where is Shepard?”
“Engineering, talking to Javik.”
“Thanks.”
I’ll guess I’ll have to wait to confirm it.
He’s about to take the elevator when his path crosses with Kaidan, who’s on his way to the port observation.
“Well… He will do too.”
“Did you say something, Garrus?” Kaidan asks, not really sure if the turian was talking to him.
“Oh, hey Kaidan… Just talking to myself, don’t mind me. Taking a break?” Well… I guess trying doesn’t hurt… Although I really doubt he is.
“Yup.” The human nods and smiles at his friend.
“You?” He asks, completely surprised by his answer.
“Yeah, I know… What can I say?” Kaidan tries to control a yawn but he only succeeds half way, showing how much he really needs to rest.
“New ship, new you?” Garrus pats his arms, and they both start walking while Kaidan lets out a small laugh.
“Ha! Yeah, I suppose...” They both enter the room together. “You know, your knowledge of human sayings is starting to frighten me a little.”
“I’m getting quite good, don’t you think?” Garrus says, amused by his comment. “Let’s sit here.” He adds, pointing at the stools in the bar area. “Want a drink?”
“No, no drinks. I’m just looking for a short break.”
They sit side by side as Garrus starts to examine the different bottles to see if one of them is to his liking, carefully planning a strategy in his head to make Kaidan talk.
"Feeling better?" Garrus asks, pulling together the final pieces of the puzzle inside his head.
"What from?" He asks, a little bit confused.
"The headache. You looked very distressed yesterday." Kaidan tries to understand what he’s talking about and then he remembers. Flashes of him trying to get to Shepard’s quarters as fast as he could, having to deceive Garrus in order to get there, start running inside his head.
"Ah... Yeah, of course." He turns a little to avoid looking at the turian's eyes, knowing this one will be able to read right through his lie if he doesn't. "Way better."
"No wonder you look so happy." He responds, waiting patiently in order to see if his friend falls into the trap.
"Do I?"
"Yeah..." Garrus smiles, or does whatever it is that turians do when they're happy, completely enjoying how Kaidan's reaction is confirming his suspicions "You almost seem like the happiest person on this ship."
Kaidan looks to the ceiling, regretting what he's about to ask even before the question leaves his mouth.
"Almost... Who’s number one?"
"Shepard, of course."
Kaidan sputters in surprise, and prepares himself for what’s to come, trying his best to remain calm.
“Is she?” He asks with a little bit of hesitation in his voice.
“Yep.” Garrus keeps looking at him with an amused look on his face, enjoying this moment more than he thought he would. “Tali said she heard her singing.”
“I see.” Right when Kaidan thinks that the conversation can’t get worse the door opens to make him realize how wrong he is.
“Hey… Look who we have here. I thought you two didn’t know how to stop working.” James says entering the room, reaching the other side of the bar in just a few steps. “It’s so good to find you two here, I’ve been drinking with Esteban and can you believe el muy débil decided to quit after the fifth shot!?” He shakes his head, planting his bottle of tequila in front of them. “So… Let me make you some drinks… What do you want, Scars? Same as last time?”
“You don’t learn from your mistakes, eh Vega?” Garrus asks, making calculations inside his mind and quickly reaching the conclusion that James must, at least, drank three times more shots than the poor Steve.
“Only if my life it’s at risk.” He says right away, already examining the liquor options at the bar area.
“Precisely.” A quick memory of Shepard about to kill them flashes through the turian’s mind.
James laughs and hits Garrus on his shoulder.
“Come on, Scars. I think we should celebrate. We finally have some time off.” He waits expectantly for his reply.
“Well, you’re right about that… Last few days have been a nightmare, mission after mission… And...” He falls silent for a second, contemplating his options. “Oh… What the hell, mix me something Vega.”
James claps with excitement a couple of times.
“That’s the spirit! What about you, Major?” He says while grabbing a few bottles of the table. “You seem like a whiskey kind of guy.”
“Oh no...” He waves his hands a little to refuse the offer.
“Come on Kaidan, he hit the target.” Garrus adds, forming the beginning of a whole new plan in his head.
“Well yes, I do prefer whiskey… But I shouldn’t drink right now.” He tries to convince both himself and his friends.
“Why not? We’re off duty!” James replies right away.
“Yeah!” Garrus turns to look at Kaidan, designing the perfect battle scheme in an instant. “If we don’t take opportunities like this one to relax we’ll end up burning out.”
“Who are you and what have you done to Scars?” Vega says in a mocking tone, surprised by the turian’s behavior, which causes Garrus to laugh right away.
“It’s been a long week… We’ve gone to four different planets, I’ve shot at more things than I can count and I've also deactivated a bomb. I’ve been drenched, burned, gassed and electrocuted. I was close to getting killed on two different occasions. And, to top it all off, I almost got knocked down by Shepard when she threw her helmet against the wall the other day. So yeah, I think I’ve earned a good drink.”
“Eeyy… That’s the spirit.” Vega starts preparing the drinks with a big smile on his face. “Come on, boss… Have a drink with us.” He says to Kaidan, with the bottle of whiskey already in his hand.
“I really shouldn’t.” He hesitates in his answer even more this time, noticing that the whisky is of better quality than the usual poison stocked aboard the ship, and starts to wonder if Shepard has anything to do with it.
“Come on Kaidan, the universe isn’t going to fall apart just because you decide to take a night off.”
“Don’t jinx it.” James says, serving Garrus his drink.
“You know what I meant.” The turian grabs an empty glass and, in a single smooth motion, slides it across the bar so that James can grab it. “Come on, serve this man a drink! I want to make… What do you humans call it? Emmm...”
“Guys...”
“A toast.” James responds before Kaidan is able to cut them.
“Gu...”
“That! A toast… You don’t have to drink if you don’t want to, just grab the glass, but we need to celebrate.” Garrus says to him, knowing perfectly well he won’t be able to resist once the drink is in his hands.
“I’m liking this new you.” James says preparing to serve the drink. “How do you take it? On the rocks?”
“God, no… Neat.” Kaidan says right away, almost offended by the thought of ruining a good whiskey with ice.
“I see… A man of taste.” James puts the drink in front of him. “Here… And for me, Tequila.”
Kaidan grabs his glass, finally giving up.
Well… It’s just one drink…
“Let’s do this toast thing...” Garrus raises his, mimicking James’ gesture from the last time they drank together.
“Hey, you remembered Scars!” He says ecstatically, replying with the same motion.
“Do I even want to know how he ended up teaching you that?” Kaidan asks, shaking his head in disbelief.
“No, no you don’t.”
“What’s wrong, Jimmy? Still afraid Shepard is going to kick your ass?” Garrus says, teasing him about their last poker room party.
“Hey Scars… I don't think we should revisit that chapter of our lives. Especially in front of the major.” He responds in a low tone, bringing his hand to hide his mouth from Kaidan. “You know, he’s right here. ” He adds in a whisper.
“‘ The major ’ already knows, Vega.” Kaidan says with a laugh. “And please don’t call me that, at least when we are off duty.” He says with a smile.
“Oh Kaidan… You don’t know what you just did.” Garrus pats his shoulder while he shakes his head and waits for the chaos to break loose.
“What?” He asks, confused.
“Oh, shut up Scars.” James says laughing. “He is right… I have to give him a proper nickname.” He starts taping the top of the bar, full with excitement.
“What now?” Garrus laughs at Kaidan’s reaction. “Well, what I meant is that you can call me by my name, just as everyone does.”
“And what’s the fun of that? Ah no, don’t worry jefe, I’ll think of something as the night goes on.” He says, right before hitting the bar with his hand, full of determination. “Come on, let’s toast, I’ll do the first one.” All of them raise their cups as an answer to James’ movement. “To new and old friendships.”
“Good one.” Garrus adds before they start drinking.
James downs his tequila and pretends to be offended when he sees the other two have only taken a sip. “Oh no gentleman, that won’t do it. Come on! All in.”
“You are drinking from a shot glass, Vega.” Kaidan remarks.
“It’s not my fault you chose your poison wrong. Now do it!” He moves his hands, ordering them to finish the whole thing.
Garrus laughs and chugs his drink, unable to counter James’ absurd logic.
“Come on Kaidan, don’t leave me alone here.” The turian pleads.
Kaidan smiles, looks at his whiskey and sighs.
“I already know I’m going to regret this.” He finishes his drink with a quick single motion, putting the glass upside down on top of the bar right after.
“Woooo! That’s what I’m talking about.” James is already serving the next round as he speaks, this time in shot glasses. “Way to go boss.”
“At least he’s no longer calling me Major.” Kaidan says to Garrus.
“And what about Major boss, ey jefe?” He says as he spills some liquor, laughing at his own joke.
“You’re truly evil, Vega.” Garrus says as Kaidan brings his hand up to cover his face. “Come on, it’s my turn.” He adds raising his glass.
James follows him right away and, after a moment of hesitation, so does Kaidan.
“For the Normandy.”
“For the Normandy!”
All three of them down their shot as fast as they can.
“Come on Vega, serve another round.” Vega obeys Garrus’ order right away.
“I don’t know if...” Kaidan, who is already noticing the effects of the drinks, tries his best to get out of the trap, but he isn’t even close to succeed.
“You have to say something too, Major.” James interrupts him, knowing exactly where to strike.
“I truly don’t know what to say… We’re back to Major, eh?” He sighs to the lieutenant.
“Don’t worry jefe…” He says, trying his best to control his giggles. “I... I’ll keep working on it.”
“Kaidan, don’t try to sneak your way out.” Garrus hands everyone his drinks as fast as he can. “You have the floor.”
“Okay, let me think.” Kaidan finally gives in. “I truly don’t know what to say.”
“Don’t you have anything you want to celebrate?” Garrus asks.
“Ermm… No”
“Nothing at all boss?” James looks at him expecting an answer. “Nothing new in your life?”
“Maybe we should ask Shepard...”
Kaidan almost exterminates Garrus with his glare the moment that sentence comes out or his mouth, and all he can do is look straight in his direction, shrug his shoulders and start smiling at him, or doing whatever it is that turians do when they’re happy, very pleased by his friend's reaction to his teasing.
James puts two and two together in an instant, understanding what Garrus is trying to do, and decides to join forces with him without giving it a second thought.
“That’s a very nice sentiment, Scars. Afterall, we would’ve never met if it wasn’t for her.” He says, perfectly knowing that wasn’t what Garrus was referring to. “So what do you say jefe? A toast for the commander?”
“Sure...” He replies, trying his best to avoid getting flushed, and raising his hand as fast as he’s able so that he can start to pretend this never happened. “To Shepard...” He says with a soft voice.
“To Shepard!” His two friends scream in unison and all three of them finish their drink in one gulp.
A quick and terrible idea crosses James’ mind once he puts his glass down and, as he prepares the next round, he starts laughing loudly at the thought of it.
“Oh, this can’t be good.” Garrus says to Kaidan, but the lieutenant ignores the turian’s comment and leans to rest his weight on top of the bar, needing the extra support to keep standing.
“Don’t you think…” He makes a short pause, trying to regain his balance. “Uff… That we should teach more human traditions to our turian friend here, jefe?” He says looking directly at Kaidan.
“Well... I guess… What do you have in mind?” He asks with trepidation.
“Never have I ever!” James shouts as he hits the table one more time.
“Oh no.”
“Oh yes! You’ll see, we’ll have a great time!” James replies as he passes the drinks around. “This way we can know each other better.”
“How does it work?” Garrus asks, immediately interested in the idea when he sees Kaidan's reaction to it.
“Easy, the purpose is to make others drink.” He turns to look at him and gives the full explanation. “So you say something like: Never have I ever… I don’t know… Gone to the Citadel. And all the people who have done it have to drink.”
“I see… So you wanna think about popular things you’ve never done, to make a larger group of people drink.” The turian says, after thinking about it for a few seconds.
“Yeah, exactly!” James replies, giving him a big thumbs up. “And you cannot lie by the way. If you’ve done it, you drink.” He adds with a wicked grin on his face. “That’s the main rule.”
“Okay, let’s do it.” Drinking a shot just to celebrate James’ idea.
“Wait, I haven’t agreed to this.”
“Oh, come on! We have to teach our turian friend here some proper human culture.” He says while he refills Garrus’ drink.
“I wouldn’t call that culture to be honest...”
“Sorry Alenko, it’s two against one, we win.” His friend says, agreeing with the lieutenant.
“Yeah, the magic of democracy.” James adds, pointing directly at Kaidan while he holds his bottle of tequila.
The three of them start to laugh in unison, already quite affected by all the drinks.
“Ayy...” Kaidan is almost in tears because of James’ antics. “That’s the stupidest response I’ve heard in a long time.”
“Come on Major boss… Let’s give our friend an example of how it’s played.”
“God, I can’t believe I’m actually going to agree to this...” Kaidan says sighing, looking at his shot of whiskey. “Oh, fuck it… Let’s do it.” He downs his shot as fast as he can, knowing he's gonna need to be drunk to get through this.
“Nice!” Garrus laughs even harder, filling with anticipation.
“Ok, Boss. Start.” James orders him once he finishes refilling his drink.
Kaidan thinks for a few seconds and taps the bar once he gets an idea that he likes.
“Hhmm… Never have I ever... Gotten drunk enough to piss off Shepard with my bullshit.”
“Ha!” James laughs, trying not to fall backwards. “You cheeky bastard!!” He drinks his shot of tequila, shocked by Kaidan’s sentence.
“And to think he was calling me Major a few minutes ago...” He says to Garrus, giving him a pat on the back. “This is when you drink Garrus.”
“I told you you were making a mistake about the whole Major thing...” The turian says before drinking his liquor. “The disrespect in this kid!” He says in a joking tone.
“You know you love me Scars… It’s your turn by the way.”
This time it’s Garrus who pours the alcohol, too excited about what he’s about to say to wait for James to do it on his own.
“Oh, nice. Easy. Never have I ever eaten levo food.”
“Wow… We really didn’t think this through, eh?” Kaidan says before they drink their respective shots. “I mean, he can pull stuff like that for the rest of the night.”
“Nah… Don’t worry about it jefe… And if he does, well, we’ll end up so drunk that you won’t be able to keep saying that you’ve never pissed off Lola with your bullshit.” Garrus and Kaidan start laughing in awe at James’ comment, seeing him grab the tequila bottle and drink directly from it. “I already know I’m going to finish it by the end of the night so...”
Kaidan needs to hold onto Garrus to avoid falling from his stool, laughing so much that he has to take a moment to calm down.
“You’ll end up killing the major, Vega.”
“Oh shit Garrus, don’t start with the major crap you too.”
“Couldn't stop myself, sorry Kaidan.” Garrus says, also ditching his glass and grabbing his bottle. “Come on Vega, it’s your turn… I think… I’m not quite sure.” He takes his hand to his head as he tries to remember.
“True.” James nods and fills Kadan’s glass with a big smile on his face. “Here, you’re gonna need it.”
“I see you are very confident Jimmy.” Garrus says with a mocking tone.
“Well, I can also use the same strategy you used. For example...” James moves his hands a few times, commanding them to drink, already knowing he has a major advantage over them. “Never have I ever… Defeated a rogue specter.”
James smiles triumphantly at his friends' reactions.
“Oh shit.” Kaidan downs the shot, already knowing this has only started.
“Great… Never thought being part of the original crew of the Normandy would come back to bite me in the ass.” The turian whines as he lets his head hit the bar.
“Ey! You remembered that one too!!”
“Seriously Vega, what are you teaching him?” Kaidan helps Garrus to sit properly on his stool, looking at him with concern.
“Ahhh… I don’t speak for drunk Vega, he has a mind of his own.”
“Great, now he’s speaking about himself in third person.” Kaidan grabs the bottle of whiskey and fills his glass while Garrus chugs his liquor directly from the bottle. “It's my turn, isn’t it? Are you sure you want to keep the party going Garrus?”
“Sure I… do” He replies, raising his bottle a little to cheer with Kaidan and taking another gulp. “Come on, go for it!”
“Yeah! Hit us with your best shot Major!”
“Ug...” Kaidan complaints.
“Sorry, Major boss!” James almost topples to the ground, extremely amused by his own joke.
“Very funny, eh Vega? Well…” He needs a second to compose himself, trying his best to put an authoritative expression on his face. “Let me put you in your place!”
“Come on Alenko!” Garrus screams. “Show this kid how to respect his seniors.”
“Ah nah, don’t be so friendly now with me Vakarian, you’re paying too, mr. I only eat dextro things.” He says the last part in a mocking tone, which makes the lieutenant laugh even more than he was already.
“Ehehehehe… He’s got you Scars!” James says, hitting the table right after. “Vamos jefe, hit us!” Kaidan smiles, ready to open fire.
“Never have I ever...” Kaidan pauses for dramatic effect. “Gone to Tuchanka to cure the genophage.”
“Well… Shit.”
“I think we should make a rule that we cannot count things we’ve done with Shepard.” Garrus complaints.
“Ah nah! That way you have the turian advantage all to yourself and we don’t.” James raises his bottles and waits for him to do so. “¡Salud hermano!” Both of them take a long sip, and right after they’re done, a new expression appears on Garrus’ face.
“Ohhh...”
“What?”
“I just had an… You know what?” Garrus says, doing his best to keep his poker face. “You’re going to find out in just a second. It’s my turn, isn’t it?”
The two humans nod, a little bit scared by the turian’s words.
“Ehehe...” Garrus laughs again and clears his throat. “Never have I ever...” After waiting a few seconds, he turns slowly so that he can look directly at Kaidan when he finishes his sentence. “Never have I ever... had sex with a superior officer.”
James loses it right away and starts laughing as hard as humanly possible, holding his chest and turning around, unable to stay still right in front of them.
The turian rests his elbow on the bar, enjoying Kaidan’s reaction, feeling more victorious than the last time he defeated a brute by himself, and smiling as much as he’s able, or doing whatever it is that turians do when they’re happy.
The poor Kaidan is completely defeated, looking at the ceiling and laughing a little, not truly believing this is really happening.
“Oh man…” Is the only thing they can hear from James, who is struggling the most out of them to keep breathing.
“You should’ve taken the offer of leaving Shepard related things out of the game Alenko.” Garrus adds, drinking again, completely forgetting the rules of the game.
“Is it too late to take the offer?” Kaidan pleads.
“Ah no...” James says after composing himself. “Bottoms up lover boy!”
“Oh God."
James’ sentence almost manages to kill Garrus, who is now hardly keeping his balance, holding onto the bar with both talons.
“Lover boy!” The turian says in between laughing his heart out, way too amused by his friend’s words.
Kaidan sinks further into desperation, witnessing James panting and wiping the tears from his face.
“I knew this was a bad idea from the beginning,” says Kaidan laughing, not really knowing what else to do. “I still don’t know… How on Earth did you manage to convinced me... to do this.”
He turns to avoid looking at his friends, currently falling apart because of the laughter, and drinks his shot as fast as he can. He’s about to fill his glass when he stops to think for a moment.
“Oh, fuck it!” Kaidan says, moving the glass shot apart and taking a big gulp right from the bottle. “Who cares anymore?”
His reaction makes Garrus and James laugh even harder, far gone to keep it together for the next few minutes.
Kaidan leans forward and lets his forehead rest on top of the bar, staying like this while his friends try to calm down.
“Wow...” Garrus finally manages to say. “I can’t believe you actually went there, Vega.”
“Me? You were the one who said the sex thing.”
“Maybe… But look what you did to our poor lover boy.”
Kaidan sighs and sits straight again, giving his friends his best “Really?” look.
“That's what you get for complaining about the whole Major thing, be careful what you wish for.” Garrus advises him.
“Hprf...” James starts to lose it again, even worse this time than the first one, crying while he tries to speak but only managing to mumble a few words, wheezing his heart out. After a few seconds like that he finally speaks between giggles, “Major lover boy!” Which makes them break into laughter all over again, this time not even Kaidan is able to keep it together, finally giving up and surrendering to the moment.
They stay like that for minutes. Laughing and crying, doing their best to keep breathing. And, everytime it looks like they're recovering, one of them makes a new joke and the whole thing starts all over again.
It takes them a few iterations to break the cycle and calm down, Kaidan being the first to speak once he’s able to do so.
“Ayy… That’s gonna follow me for all eternity, isn’t it?”
“Only when we’re drunk, jefe.” James says, giving Kaidan a pat on the shoulder. “I’ll have to search for a different one for when we’re on duty.”
“You do realise,” Garrus joins the conversation to pinpoint the obvious, “that you’ve been calling him “Jefe” the whole evening?”
“Ah yeah… I didn’t even notice.” James thinks about it for a couple of seconds, deciding if it sounds good or not inside of his head. “Yeah, I like it! Jefe it is… What do you think, Major lover boy?”
“As long as you don’t call me that in public… ” Kaidan agrees, leaning against the wall for support.
“Cool!”
“Who’s turn is it?” The turian asks, suddenly remembering they were playing a game.
“Vega, I think… Wait, why am I willing to keep playing to this!? I’m definitely gonna lose no matter what!”
“Come on Kaidan, we’re just having fun!” Garrus grabs him by the shoulders and brings him closer. “We didn’t cross a line here, didn’t we?”
“Nah… ” Kaidan smiles and shakes his head. “Takes much more than that to make me angry.”
“Eyy, that’s why I like you jefe.”
“It’s your turn, Vega”
“To what?”
“To play.”
“To what? Ah yeah...” James thinks for a couple of seconds before a wicked grin starts to form on his face. “Just so we’re clear…” He turns to look at Kaidan. “You’re not going to hold a grudge against us or anything like that, are you?”
Kadan nods, almost curious to see where this is going.
Garrus smiles, or does whatever it is that turians do when they're happy, knowing what James is going to speak about way too well.
“Cool then... ” His grin gets even bigger, anticipating Kaidan’s reaction to what he’s about to say. “Never have I ever… Never...” He starts laughing even before being able to finish his talking, way too amused about what he’s about to say. “Never have I ever...” He giggles a little more before he’s finally able to continue. “... had sex with a subordinate officer.”
They join James in his laughter the moment this one is able to complete the sentence. Kaidan and Garrus have to hold onto each other in order to remain seated and avoid falling to the ground, which only makes the situation even funnier for the three of them.
To everyone’s surprise, Kaidan is the one laughing the most, feeling so defeated by the whole game that he doesn’t even care about it anymore and, maybe it is the effect of the whiskey, but he’s starting to find everything his friends are saying more amusing than annoying.
After a few seconds, once he’s found his balance and managed to start breathing again, he grabs the bottle of whiskey and one shots what’s left of it, knowing very well how the night is going to end no matter how hard he fights against it, which makes his friends start to laugh even more.
“Ayy...” Says James, struggling to breathe. “I don’t know the last time I laughed so hard.” Garrus needs a few more seconds before he’s able to talk again.
“I do… Shepard almost killed us because of it.” The turian answers right away.
“That may happen again.” A fourth voice says, coming from the door.
James’ face, who is the only one with a visual of the entire room, changes right away, and the laugh is quickly replaced with fear.
“Well, mierda.”
“So...” Shepard says, waking to the bar and putting one of her hands on Garrus’ shoulder while the other rests on Kaidan’s. “Who’s gonna start talking this time?”