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Midoriya wasn’t sure how to feel.
How could he be when he felt like he was watching his own body from another’s point of view. What Kacchan, no not Kacchan, Bakugou told him earlier in the day, the sludge villain, and then All Might. How long had it been? It was dark now, the explosions had stopped. Was it a few minutes or hours? A short glance at his phone gives him the answer, it had been hours. By now it was past 10pm, his mom would surely be worried. He almost felt guilty when he didn’t care.
All Might, the condescending voice in his mind supplies, All Might doesn’t even think you can do it. It just proves how worthless you are. You can’t do a thing. You are worthless. Less than dirt. Everything would be better if you were just gone.
Midoriya’s body tenses at that thought. Would anyone miss him? Sure, his mom would, but if he was gone then she wouldn’t have to deal with having a quirkless son. He knew how she was shunned after the diagnosis, how even Auntie Mitsuki looked at her with poorly masked pity. Would anyone else miss him? His only ‘friend’ was Bakugou and he had suggested a swan dive earlier in the day, he wouldn’t care. Would anyone at school care? The spider lilies on his desk answered his question with a no. The more he thought, the more the edge of the tall roof tempted him.
A small voice in the green haired boy’s head tried to convince him that people would care, but how could such a small voice be heard from behind the screaming of self-hatred in his head? It couldn’t. That’s why his eyes slowly lost their glossy sheen. That’s why he felt numb as he started to untie his shoes. Why his vision slowly stopped blurring as he took his shoes off. He’d accepted that he wouldn’t be missed, so why cry? Why care? Why, when it would make life better for you and everyone around you?
Midoriya didn’t write a suicide note, he just stood at the edge of the roof, his shoes on the edge, staring at the stars. How ironic, he thought, the last thing I see is something so beautiful, so clear. His brain told him he didn’t deserve to see something so beautiful. It tried to tell him to just get over with it and jump, but it was interrupted.
“Kid, could you step away from the ledge for me?” a quiet and rough voice called out to him. If it was any other day, the greenette would have started to freak out, that was Eraserhead! He could barely find any information about him, so seeing him in person? A dream come true for his entry in his analysis books! Today, however, was no normal day. As he looked over his shoulder he took a deep breath, it was all he could not to cry again.
“I’m sorry, but no. Please, go on, pretend you didn’t see me. I’m sure there’s more important things than me tonight, Eraserhead,” he says, voice slightly trembling.
“I’m afraid I can’t do that,” Eraserhead slowly approaches the edge, like approaching a wild animal. He might as well have been, any sudden or harsh movements could mean the loss of a life. He wouldn’t let that happen. When the boy doesn’t respond, Eraser starts talking.
“Not many people know who I am, it’s impressive that you know. I can’t even count the number of times that even new police officers have tried to arrest me until I show my pro-hero license.” he rambles, his mind supplying a small amount of relief when he sees the boy’s shoulders release some tension.
“Thank you for trying to talk to me, I understand what you’re doing. Before you try even harder, I’m not changing my mind. No one will miss me. I’m just some quirkless 14 year old. I’ll just be another statistic. They probably won’t even say my name. No ‘Midoriya Izuku,’ just ‘Quirkless Teen.’” Tears start to brim his eyes. He sighs, slowly shuffling forward, his toes off of the ledge.
“Kid, Midoriya, please don’t. There has to be someone to miss yo—“ Eraser is cut off by a dry laugh. The boy, Midoriya Izuku, turns to face him.
“I’m sorry, I have to stop you there. I’ve already decided, but thank you for trying.”
Those are the final words of Midoriya Izuku, right before he lets himself lean back. Not many will know this, but as he fell he laughed. He smiled and reveled in the feeling of the wind on his back and the whistle in his ears. He laughed, though it was wet and strained through his throat. The last thing he heard was a pro-hero yelling his name, yet he just smiled at him and waved as he fell. The moment before he hit the pavement he closed his eyes.
He never knew the effect he had. He never knew about the pro and his husband showing up to his funeral. He never saw Bakugou destroy himself, thinking it was his fault. He never saw him go through heroics, his teacher the same man who tried to save him. He never saw Bakugou constantly visit his grave, but if he did he would have been mad. Would have thought that Bakugou didn’t deserve to grieve over him. That doesn’t change the fact that he did. If he were to see how his death effected people, well,
Midoriya wasn’t sure how to feel.