Chapter Text
Jimmy Fallon stood in front of a blue curtain and in front of him , was a black lacquered table.
“... we’re back, and we’re about to play a game of Catchphrase. But first we need our three contestants. Please welcome, the office assistant at Grace Adler designs - a backup dancer to Jennifer Lopez - and a former ballet dancer!”
Karen Walker, Jack McFarland and Rosario Salazar waved as they came onto the stage. Karen put some pills in her handbag, Jack with all gusto waved for the camera, Rosario pulled closer her members only jacket over her maid uniform. Jimmy stared into the camera.
“Here’s how the game works: You are going to start the game by pressing Start on the buzzer, and then drawing a clue from the top of the pile. Get your teammate to guess the clue as quickly as possible, then hand the buzzer off to the person on your right.”
Karen smirked, Rosario raised her eyebrows, and Jack did various stilted movements. Jimmy flinched when Jack’s hand narrowly missed his hairline.
“You can make any physical gesture, you can say anything but you can’t say any word in the actual clue, If you’re holding the buzzer when it goes off, your team loses that round. First team to win one round - one - wins the game. Let’s take our positions.”
Jimmy stood at his position, picking up the buzzer and setting it to start. It began beeping as he picked up a clue from the top of the pile, and glanced up to Rosario.
“It’s another word for drunk!”
Rosario gestured to Karen, who smiled. “This one.”
Jimmy became frantic. “This one what?”
“A drunk! Heh,” Rosario frowned.
“Another word for drunk?”
“A mess!” cried Rosario, “A pill-popping addict! An alcoholic!”
“Yes!”
Beep - beep - beep -
Jimmy slid the buzzer to his right, and Jack picked up a clue and faced Karen.
“It’s what we call Will behind his back. And in front. If you can tell the difference!”
“Ooh, fruit!” cried Karen. “Homo! Big homo!”
“Close,” Jack gestured, “Keep going.”
From the audience, a voice cried, “Stop it, Jack!”
The game paused slightly, and Jack cleared his throat. “Um, it’s what you call a mattress.”
“Home! Ha! Ha-ah!”
Jack swung his head from side to side. “It’s what you call your mattress after you lay in it with Stan.”
“Lumpy!”
Jack slid the buzzer to his right. Rosario took a clue, paused, and Jimmy stared in disbelief. Rosario glanced up.
“What do you call a horse?”
“A horse?” Jimmy glanced at the others. “A horse?”
“Yes,” Rosario nodded, “The person who goes on a horse.”
“A - a cowboy?”
“Yes,” said Rosario.
Jimmy pointed. “Well, pass the buzzer over.”
“No,” Rosario shook her head.
“No, that wasn’t the answer?” Jimmy frowned.
“Yes.”
Jimmy stared. Karen and Jack began jumping up and down and clapping. Rosario paused.
Beep - beep - beep - beep -
“It’s… “
“Come on!” Jimmy’s hands shook.
“You ride the horse… “
“Uh-uh, rodeo?”
Rosario nodded, and passed the buzzer to her right. Jimmy wiped his brow, Karen gave the double thumbs up, and Jack, poised, did his stretches as he read the clue.
“Come on, Jack,” Karen rolled her eyes, “Just pretend you’re an actor!”
“I am an actor!” Jack glared.
Rosario smiled to Jimmy and rubbed her hands. “We got this… “
Jack cleared his throat, and glanced up at Karen. “What do you call Grace?”
“Oh, honey,” Karen jumped up and down, “A designer! A clothing designer!”
“No, Kare,” tutted Jack, “Her clothes.”
“Ugly!”
“Yes!” pointed Jack, “Now what’s a baby - I can’t say that, can I? Um, what’s a type of bird?”
Beep-beep-beep -
“A bird?” Karen frowned. “What does that have to do with ugly?”
“Oh, Kare… “ Jack glanced to the buzzer, “It’s a children’s book!”
“Cinder-rags! The Sleeping Beauty and her Seven Lovers! Jack and his Bean Stalk!”
Jack wiped his brow, “Kare! It’s what it’s called when you’re in high school but then you blossom and become beautiful!”
“Oh - oh, Ugly Duckling!”
“YES!”
Jack slid the buzzer which blared, and Jimmy slapped his thighs. Rosario glared at Karen.
“You won’t get away with this, you witch.”
Karen and Jack danced around, lifted their tops and touched stomachs, and Jimmy could only shake his head and share his frustration and disbelief with Rosario.