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Jiang Cheng knows exactly when this started. That's never been the issue up for debate. It started in those three months they were looking for Wei Wuxian, then in secret moments while the world was changing around him. He was the sect leader of a broken sect only starting to rebuild, but on Lan Wangji's cock, he was nothing more than "baby girl who needs cock."
(He hates how hard it makes him when Lan Wangji calls him "baby girl," a possessive hand on his hair while he fucks his face, groping his ass while he forces Jiang Cheng to ride him. It shouldn't make him come instantly, but it does every single time.)
He never had to think. He never had to be anything other than someone who looked pretty and was great at getting fucked. Jiang Cheng isn't always certain of all of his skills, but he's never doubted those two things.
Even after Wei Wuxian, everything that happened with Wei Wuxian and his innate desire to be good with his terrible death that he sees whenever he closes his eyes, they've still fucked. Lan Wangji hates him, but they still fuck.
No one else knows their bodies like the other, and even when you hate someone, the familiar is so much more comforting than the unknown. When Jiang Cheng has his arms wrapped tightly around Lan Wangji, his eyes closed tightly because his cock is always so big, something that he never gets used to, he doesn't have to think about how much the world dislikes him. He only has to focus on this one moment. That's the only thing in the world that matters.
When Lan Wangji comes to Lotus Pier, it's without warning, since the first time it happened three years after Wei Wuxian's death. He comes, and Jiang Cheng is expected to drop everything to be fucked, and every single time he does. He has long lost the need to feel shame for it, not when he knows that soon his toes will be curling and his mind will be empty.
He loves it when his mind is empty.
The nights always begin in the same way. Lan Wangji arrives in darkness, in an area where no one will notice him come in. It's a security breach, one that Jiang Cheng should fix, but it would also take away his reliable connection to a dick that isn't wooden and something that he has to put effort into, rather than letting himself be manhandled to his and the other man's satisfaction.
He is kissed roughly, pushed onto the bed, and from there, the nights vary wildly. Sometimes he is fucked and not allowed to move, sometimes Lan Wangji forces Jiang Cheng to ride him while he begs him to just push him down and fuck him.
Tonight is different though. Tonight, Lan Wangji brought wine, the bottle already uncorked and partly drunk out of. It's thrust into his face, demanding eyes telling him what he needs to do. Jiang Cheng doesn't see the use of arguing, not when the wine smells like plums. He attempts to take a sip, only to cough when Lan Wangji forces it further down his throat. He chokes on it. His body shakes when he feels a hand clamp onto the back of his throat, squeezing it gently. He tries not to fall apart at the knees. He does his best not to think about how wine tastes as it falls down his throat, knowing that Lan Wangji must be feeling him swallow.
"Good girl," Lan Wangji whispers, and Jiang Cheng really wishes that those words would stop making him so hard.
The wine is forced into his hands while Lan Wangji picks him up, carrying him to the bedroom. He places him down on the bed, staring down at Jiang Cheng.
"You're so pretty," he whispers, his hand reaching down to trace Jiang Cheng's cheekbone. "So beautiful." He tilts his head. "You look like my mother. Did you know that? It's strange, the resemblance. I know I'm not imagining it. My brother once remarked on it and my uncle agreed."
He climbs on top of Jiang Cheng's body, his gaze steady and confident. "I don't know what it says about me that I don't mind fucking you while I know this." He wrenches his legs apart. "In fact, I think that there's something about how you look that makes me want you more. But I am tired of trying to pretend there's something right about me. Let me be wrong."
Jiang Cheng thinks the smart thing to do after that admission would be to roll out of bed and tell Lan Wangji that he never wants to see him again, so he needs to get his ass out of this room now.
Instead, the only thing he thinks to do is whisper, "Do you want to call me A-Niang?" He doesn't know where the words even came from. He doesn't think he wants to know. All he knows is that his blood is growing hot as he thinks about Lan Wangji calling him 'A-Niang' as he fucks him. He thinks about the words, and he doesn't want to admit how hard it makes him, but he knows that Lan Wangji surely can already tell.
A mess of complicated emotions crosses through Lan Wangji's face, but ultimately he shakes his head. "You don't need to do that," he whispers. "I don't want you to feel uncomfortable."
The only thing Jiang Cheng is uncomfortable with is how much he wants Lan Wangji to do it. But he doesn't know how to say this. He just nods his head, and lets Lan Wangji attack his neck with gusto, marking him in a way that will make sure that Jiang Cheng will feel it for days, even with healing it with his cultivation.
He tries to stop thinking about how it would feel to hear Lan Wangji call him 'A-Niang'.
(He doesn't succeed.)
*
It's two weeks later when Lan Wangji comes to see him again, when usually it's a couple months in-between. Jiang Cheng doesn't ask him why. He doesn't ask him anything about why he's coming to see him. That's how it goes. Lan Wangji comes to him whenever he needs him, and there's no questions asked while he's just fucked until he can't think. Sometimes he thinks about insisting that he be allowed to do the same, but he's stopped from doing it when his stomach tightens at the thought about never knowing. When the only thing he's allowed to do is wait for Lan Wangji to decide he wants him.
He doesn't want to think about why it excites him so much.
Lan Wangji is tipsy again, a bundle of white robes in his arms as he sways when Jiang Cheng comes to get him. He thrusts it into his arms, his brow furrowing as he simply demands, "Wear these."
Jiang Cheng thinks about telling him no, but he already knows that he's going to end up wearing this. It would be useless to argue. And from the way that Lan Wangji is staring at him, it would be useless to ask him if he could wait until they're back in Jiang Cheng's rooms. With shaking hands, his blood pumping at the act of getting naked in the outside, where anyone could see him while Lan Wangji is fully dressed, he takes off his purple robes and puts on the white ones.
They smell like sandalwood, and they drag a little on the ground. They are larger in both the shoulders and the waist, and he knows that these robes are Lan Wangji's. It's not the first time that he's worn these robes, but usually Lan Wangji just makes him wear these after they fuck, not before.
He looks up, his eyes confused, and he's surprised by the pure desire coursing through his eyes. Usually, it's not this strong yet.
He's picked up in Lan Wangji's arms before he can fully think, the grip tight around his legs and back. "So pretty," he mumbles. "A-Niang, you are so pretty."
A-Niang. Jiang Cheng wants to burn up when he hears the words. He instantly gets hard, trying to cross his legs to hide it, but it's useless. Lan Wangji glances down and sees it, smirking while he finishes the walk to Jiang Cheng's rooms.
"A-Niang, let me take care of you."
Lan Wangji really needs to stop talking like this. Jiang Cheng doesn't know how much more he can take. He doesn't want to find out about this part of himself. He doesn't want to know that being called 'A-Niang' makes him harder than he's ever been in his life, that his hole instantly clenches around nothing as his body begs for a cock inside him. He could have lived the rest of his life without knowing this stuff.
(He's so humiliated, and he loves it. He doesn't know why his body instantly reacts like this, but he's so grateful that it does. He loves being so turned on that he feels like he could explode with one little touch.)
He's placed gently on the bed, instead of being thrown onto it like he usually is. Lan Wangji seems dedicated to treating his 'A-Niang' more gently than Sect Leader Jiang, and the difference in that treatment sends another burst of arousal through his body. He loves to see two different sides to Lan Wangji, to know that he could be expertly fucked in two different ways.
He doesn't know how drunk Lan Wangji must be to admit this desire to himself, but he doesn't care. Let him be drunk if that's what he needs to be. Not everyone can be as shameless as Jiang Cheng in admitting what they want, stone-cold sober, something he both loves and hates about himself. He opens his legs, blushing as he knows that he's not wearing anything underneath them. Lan Wangji can see everything, which while he has already seen a hundred times before, it's always so awkward. He always feels like a bride on his wedding night, preparing to be fucked by an older husband who likely doesn't give a damn about his pleasure.
(Something that he would love to roleplay, he just can't get the words out of his mouth yet. But after tonight, he knows that he won't ever have an issue with that again.)
Lan Wangji moves onto the bed, his limbs as lithe as a leopard as he watches Jiang Cheng with golden eyes. He feels like he's being stalked by a predator right now, one who is ready to strike. He crawls up his body, pressing soft kisses into his neck, randomly nipping him here and there so that Jiang Cheng truly doesn't know whether to expect pleasure or pain.
His knees bracket Lan Wangji's waist, his arms curling underneath his arms to hold him close to his body. His entire body is throbbing, especially his dick, his mouth opened as he pants. A leg is between his own, and without being told, he instantly begins to rut against it, knowing that he is being given a chance to come now before Lan Wangji truly starts on him.
He usually calls him 'gege' at this point, but another word escapes his mouth, a soft "A-Zhan" as his hole clenches around nothing. Lan Wangji only falters for a moment before he softly drags his thigh against Jiang Cheng's dick, helping him come quicker as a reward.
"What a good boy," Jiang Cheng mumbles into his ear. "To be so kind to your a-niang." His stomach tightens, and he feels like he's been caught out in some sort of lie. He has said nothing untrue, but he's somehow positive that he will be seen and judged for the words that are whispered onto Lan Wangji's skin. "Do you know how much your a-niang loves you?"
Lan Wangji groans into his skin, sliding his thigh faster between Jiang Cheng's legs, and he only becomes aware of the orgasm a second before it crashes over him. His back arches as the small of it tightens, coming all over robes and skin as a sobbing pant falls out of his mouth. Lan Wangji has no right to find out this aspect of Jiang Cheng. He has no right to help him find out things about himself that he didn't want anyone knowing about.
But one look into Lan Wangji's face, at the confused awe over what just happened, at the cock straining to get out of his robes, and Jiang Cheng knows that he can't regret finding this out.
He lays back in the bed, gasping for breath as Lan Wangji slowly begins to kiss down his body. Every nerve feels like it's dancing, and he closes his eyes to try and control them to a manageable level until Lan Wangji raises them up again. He knows what's going to happen next. Lan Wangji always likes to eat him out just after he's come, while his cock is straining to get hard again and he's crying from the overstimulation.
He obeys the unspoken demand to lift his legs up so that Lan Wangji can hook them over his shoulder, pressing his chest against the bed while his feet are planted on the floor to eat him out like he's a condemned man and this is his final meal.
Lan Wangji, for all that he is a composed man outside of the bedroom, is filthy and messy inside of it. He doesn't not eat Jiang Cheng out delicately and neatly. It is a mess. He licks off the semen covering Jiang Cheng's belly and pushes it inside of him. He uses his spit to make him feel as wet as a virgin maiden seeing a handsome farm boy for the first time. Lan Wangji's drool will slide down his legs, and often he can be pushed into with no more preparation after he's finished eating him out than a few twists of his fingers. Theoretically, it is disgusting.
Like everything with Lan Wangji, it makes Jiang Cheng furiously hard.
He cups his hands underneath his ass, squeezing them tightly to feel how his cheeks jiggle. He enjoys playing with them, acting like they're stress balls while he relieves Jiang Cheng's own stress. He flattens his tongue out and presses it against his hole, enjoying the twitch and clench before he rams it in inelegantly, knowing that he doesn't need to pin him down to keep him from moving.
Jiang Cheng likes to force himself to stay still and accept the pleasure that he's being given.
"A-Niang's pussy tastes so good," Lan Wangji moans into his thigh, and Jiang Cheng slaps a hand over his mouth before he can make some humiliating sound over how much those terrible words arouse him. He shouldn't be getting hard at having his hole called a pussy, but he also wants to give into the kink. He doesn't think that Lan Wangji is actually drunk, merely downed just a smidge of something to give himself some liquid courage. He has seen the other man drunk, and he's not usually capable of speaking words that don't sound petulant.
Lan Wangji doesn't seem to care about the inner turmoil that's happening in Jiang Cheng's mind, because he only asks just a few minutes later, "How does A-Niang get her pussy to taste so good?"
Before Jiang Cheng gives permission for his mouth to speak, the words are already born into the world. "I don't know, A-Zhan. You're the first one to tell A-Niang how good it tastes." His cheeks are on fire, and he's already so hard again that he thinks it is very likely that he will come again from just Lan Wangji's tongue in his ass.
Well, it wouldn't really be the first time in that case.
Lan Wangji makes a noise of contentment in his ass, one that vibrates through Jiang Cheng's entire body. He squeezes his thighs, knowing that as strong as they are to break an entire watermelon, Lan Wangji will keep eating him out like he shouldn't be struggling to breath.
"Such a delicious a-niang," he breathes out. "A-Die doesn't know how lucky he is."
Jiang Cheng doesn't have the courage to ask who the hell he is thinking 'A-Die' is, Qingheng-Jun or someone else.
(He refuses to think about it being Lan Xichen, him and Lan Wangji "sneaking around" behind his back before they are "caught," the two of them deciding to punish their whore of a wife and slut of a mother.)
He just pushes his ass into Lan Wangji's face, arching his back while he continues to eat him out with gusto, his legs shaking and his toes curling as he inevitably waits for his second orgasm of the night to arrive. This one arrives like an old friend, wrapping him in its arms as he makes even more of a mess of robes and skin. His ears buzz as he's gently rolled over onto his front, Lan Wangji sliding inside him with little resistance, pinning down his wrists even though Jiang Cheng would never think about getting out of his hold.
Lan Wangji whispers something into his ear as he fucks him, something about how pretty his a-niang looks, but Jiang Cheng doesn't have the energy to listen to it closely. He just lets himself drift off in his grip, clinging to the familiar for all that he is worth.
Usually, Lan Wangji has the stamina to fuck Jiang Cheng for close to an hour, but tonight, something is different. He thinks that it has only been about fifteen minutes before his thrusts grow erratic and the warmth of his seed fills him up, Lan Wangji collapsing next to him.
He's trembling. That doesn't usually happen. A sound of something that's not quite a sob, but Jiang Cheng can't think of another way to define it, falls out of his mouth. He panics instantly, because there is one thing he is not used to seeing from Lan Wangji and that is vulnerability.
He twists around. Lan Wangji is still inside him, but he doesn't care. He just throws a leg over his hip and tugs him into his arms, holding him close as he rubs his back. Without truly thinking about it, he begins to pat his hair like he does with Jin Ling. It instantly soothes Lan Wangji, who holds him back even tighter, and Jiang Cheng prays that he is getting what he needs out of this night.
"Thank you, A-Niang," he mumbles into his skin, which he can feel growing wet. "Thank you for taking care of me."
"Of course, A-Zhan," he whispers back. "Your a-niang will always be here."
(He prays that he himself will find what he needs out of the upcoming ones, because he knows that this won't be simply a one night event.)
*
The next time Lan Wangji comes to see him, he doesn't bring his own white robes, but the robes of someone smaller, slender.
They are the robes of a female Lan cultivator, and he puts them on for Lan Wangji without a word, his blood thrilling at the concept of what he's wearing. He knows that what they're doing isn't wrong, but there's something about it that feels like it is. He looks at himself in the mirror when he's carried back to his rooms, and like this, his hair loose down his back and the robes clinging to his skin, he thinks that he does look like a woman.
Like a mother.
He doesn't hate it.
Lan Wangji mentioned once, when they were searching for Wei Wuxian, that his mother always smelled like gentians. Jiang Cheng finds perfume that he sprinkles on every night, just in case Lan Wangji comes by (and it has been happening more and more frequently, to the point where now it's once a week), and while nothing is ever said, he knows that Lan Wangji appreciates the effort.
He considers to go to the step of taking drugs that will induce milk to fall out of him, but he and Lan Wangji still get a lot of mileage out of the thought of it happening. Lan Wangji inside him, as he nips and sucks at his nipples, was already something that happened before they had discovered this kink, but what's new is how after the sex, when Jiang Cheng is almost asleep and cum is leaking out of his body, a warm mouth will fall over one, sucking and licking gently while Jiang Cheng pets his hair.
It feels like everything is happening quicker than he planned for it too, and yet it also doesn't feel like it's happening fast enough. There's something natural about being called "A-Niang" as he's fucked until he can't breathe and then some more. It doesn't feel wrong to feel like despite the fact that no milk is falling out of his body, he is somehow nourishing something in Lan Wangji by doing this for him. He finds that he likes the smell of gentians enough that he sometimes wears the perfume on days when he is feeling brave and doesn't think anyone would know that it was him.
(He starts to wear the Jiang female disciple robes, his hair loose down his back, staring at himself in the mirror. How his waist is cinched and his ass gently curves, big enough that Lan Wangji can grab a handful in those big hands. His gray eyes that seem innocent in this outfit, making him feel like he is the innocent yet aroused maiden that Lan Wangji always makes him feel like. He wonders when he will have the courage to purchase outfits that aren't just disciple robes, go further down this path. It is starting to feel less like a kink that has been opened to him and more a new sense of himself, one that the kink is only a part of.)
He's pressed into the sheets after Lan Wangji is done with his body, rubbing his back like he is a gentle and soothing mother. He is not a person capable of great harm in these moments, but rather someone full of softness and kindness. He falls asleep being clung to, dressed in new robes that Lan Wangji brings to him to put on because the first pair are always ruined.
Lan Wangji is always gone when he wakes up, but he finds that he doesn't really mind this fact. He can always smell sandalwood in his pillows.
The sex has taken on a different shade as they fuck, something that feels both more and less possessive than the sex they had before. But as for the kink, it only devolves in Jiang Cheng's opinion. He had never had a breeding kink before Lan Wangji had forced his hand to his stomach one night, making him feel the bulge of his dick inside him.
"So big," he murmurs. "Is that what a little brother would feel like inside you, A-Niang?"
Lan Wangji is the filthiest man in the world. Jiang Cheng has no idea how he is able to face the world when he has such depraved thoughts running through his mind. He has no idea how one can be capable of having such thoughts!
(He does not admit how much he loves to hear those words out of his mouth, how he pushes back and says, "Yes, A-Zhan, yes. Please give A-Niang your baby brother." Lan Wangji is already far too smug without the admission.)
But the true test of filth does not happen within the walls of Lotus Pier. Jiang Cheng had always assumed that this is where their relationship lived, never allowed to see the outside world. He doesn't have an issue with that. He doesn't want to explain to the world what he and Lan Wangji have, and only in part because he doesn't know how to fully explain it either. A large aspect of it is simply that it is no one's business but theirs what happens in the bed.
So he did not think that he would need to protect what little modesty he still had when he went to the annual discussion conference at Gusu.
*
It starts out like every discussion conference does. He arrives at the place of residence, and is greeted cordially by the sect leader. Lan Xichen gives him a kind smile, while Lan Qiren and Lan Wangji stand just behind him. Lan Qiren gives him a curt nod that still makes the inner student in Jiang Cheng beam in approval. Lan Wangji gives him a look that is blank, like he doesn't fuck Jiang Cheng three times a month at this point, all while calling him 'A-Niang.'
Horrifically, the fact that he can do this just makes Jiang Cheng harder.
"Thank you for hosting us," he tells Lan Xichen. Despite the fact that he has fought in a war and in a siege with this man, he still feels awkward standing next to him. Like someone is going to come out and admonish him that he isn't really a sect leader, and he doesn't truly have a place to stand by this man's stand as an equal.
It's a voice, one that sounds like a strange combination of his parents, and one that he forces himself to ignore. There has never been much use for wishing that the past has been changed. There is nothing that anyone can do about what's been done, and so the only thing they can do is focus on what they can do next.
When he heads in the direction that Lan Xichen points, towards the dais where the four main sect leaders can sit, he has to walk past Lan Wangji.
How that man manages to squeeze his ass in a way that makes no one else realize what happened is beyond Jiang Cheng. He just accepts that the man has an infuriating amount of powers related to horniness, and tries to focus on being a responsible adult.
*
It is easy enough to ignore him while they eat. Lan Wangji is a bold man who would likely be glad to try and manhandle Jiang Cheng all throughout dinner in secret moments, but he has been fucking Jiang Cheng long enough to know that he is trying to create an arrangement with the Jins to have Jin Ling come to Lotus Pier more than two weeks a year, a month at the very least. With Jin Guangshan on his other side, he doesn't touch him just so that Jiang Cheng can put all his energy into impressing this man, who makes him more nervous than Lan Xichen does.
Lan Xichen is only a few years older than him, but Jin Guanghan was a peer of his father, and Jiang Cheng remembers that deeply. He knows that he is Lan Xichen's equal, but nothing can make him truly believe that he is Jin Guangshan's.
(Lan Wangji only speaking once during the entire dinner is not surprising. What is surprising is the fact that he only speaks to Jin Guangshan, to state that Lotus Pier is a beautiful place and one that is safe for any child to run around in, pretending like he just overheard some of the words that Jiang Cheng was saying rather than listening intently, before he goes back to drinking his soup like he said nothing at all.)
Dinner is both too fast and too slow, his heart thudding as he remembers how his ass was grabbed before and what exactly Lan Wangji might be planning now. His mind won't allow him to think that he won't insist on indulging the 'A-Niang' kink while they are here, where men that Jiang Cheng interacts with on a political basis will be sleeping in rooms right next to him.
He only hopes that Lan Wangji will take them to a place where no one will hear them, or put up the noise-silencing talismans, because Jiang Cheng knows just how loud he can get.
His questions are answered when he steps into his room after the dinner is concluded, discussions meant to happen tomorrow when everyone is fresh and relaxed, and Lan Wangji is sitting at the head of his bed, his robes sprawled around him while his cock springs up from his robes, already hard and leaking, ready to enter Jiang Cheng.
He should tell him no, but instead he just climbs onto the bed to lick it like a kitten, looking up through his eyelashes just how Lan Wangji likes it. He knows that perhaps he should find more dignity in himself when it comes to matters like this, but in truth, he doesn't really care either. He likes doing this. He likes having Lan Wangji look down at him each and every time that he does it, like he can't believe that he has the fearsome Sandu Shengshou in his bed, acting like a confused kitten who just wants to please her master.
(That's another fantasy, to explore another time.)
He licks at it like it is a frozen treat until Lan Wangji's hand curls through his hair, guiding him to the tip of his cock. He follows the wordless order to put his lips around it, while Lan Wangji runs his hand over the rest of the length until bitter liquid fills Jiang Cheng's mouth that he drinks without any hesitation.
"Such a good girl," Lan Wangji whispers. "How did I get so lucky to have such a good mother like you?"
Jiang Cheng blushes, looking down, the praise going through him like it always does. "It's easy," he whispers. "When I have an A-Zhan as good as you."
Lan Wangji raises a hand to wipe a thin line of cum from his face, and Jiang Cheng follows his hold without giving his mind any permission whatsoever.
"Come on, A-Niang," he whispers. "I want to show you something."
Jiang Cheng doesn't think before he holds his arms up, wordlessly asking Lan Wangji to pick him up so that he doesn't have to use his legs. They still work now, but they won't soon, and he thinks he deserves to spoil himself because of that fact.
Lan Wangji just laughs as he obeys his command, walking swiftly and quietly through the Cloud Recess, likely breaking dozens of rules and not caring about them at all.
(But the ridges of scars that Jiang Cheng feels on his back tell him a story, one that he doesn't know how to ask about when he is capable of thought and one that makes no connection in his mind when he is blissed out in pleasure.)
He is taken to an out of the way house, gentians underneath the windowsill, and he realizes why Lan Wangji likes this perfume so much when he says, "This was my mother's house."
Lan Wangji has never talked much about his mother, even since they've been doing this. He's sure that the root of the kink has to do with her, but he hasn't wanted to actually discuss what it was and Jiang Cheng has been okay with that. He has been nervous about this getting more real than he had planned, so having a good out has been a big help to him. He hasn't had to have that big, emotional talk with Lan Wangji.
He's just been able to focus on getting railed, and he doesn't want that to change.
But now that he is in front of her house, he feels like he has to say something. He knows that Lan Wangji is trusting him greatly with this information, even though it doesn't seem like it. He doesn't want to break that trust.
"What was she like?" he says, because it feels like the only thing he can ask.
"I don't know," Lan Wangji tells him, the words sad and honest, truly sounding like a lost little boy right now. "She died when I was young. I want to say that she was wonderful, but I don't know if that's the truth. I never got a chance to find out if that's really who she was."
Jiang Cheng forces himself not to think about a toddler in Koi Tower at this very moment who will never know his parents well enough to say who they truly were, but the ghosts of Jiang Yanli, Jin Zixuan, and Wei Wuxian are next to him as he opens his mouth.
"People have many sides. If she was wonderful to you, then she was a wonderful person. Maybe other people have other stories and other versions of her, but those don't have to matter to you. If you think that's what she was, then let that be who she was."
He knows that he isn't imagining the tears in Lan Wangji's eyes.
He doesn't argue when he's carried into the house.
He doesn't say anything to Lan Wangji as he heads to the wardrobe in the house, white robes that smell like gentians and dust overwhelming his senses as he pulls one out.
“Whose are these?” he asks.
“My dead mother’s,” he gets in response, and Jiang Cheng knows that he isn’t joking. He silently nods.
Lan Wangji doesn't say anything as he puts one on, as he pads across the floor to push him onto the ground and climb onto of him, sinking onto his cock with a groan, slowly riding it as he wears the former Madam Lan's robes, his fingers curling into Lan Wangji's shoulders, a strange sense of grief and accomplishment rolling around inside him.
Lan Wangji isn't a perfect man, but Jiang Cheng would have very much liked to meet the women who birthed him, to tell her that for all his imperfections, he is still one of the best men that he knows.
*
They fuck throughout the night, until Jiang Cheng collapses into unconsciousness while Lan Wangji still has the stamina to continue on for sometime more. He cracks open his eyes when he feels warmth crossing over them, blinking as he realizes that it is the sunrise waking him up. Lan Wangji has his arms tight around him, but he's awake, his internal clock not allowing him to sleep in.
"Are you okay?" Lan Wangji asks, and Jiang Cheng nods.
Last night was a lot, but it felt needed. For both of them. Perhaps it's wrong to fuck a man while wearing his dead mother's robes, but Jiang Cheng has never truly cared about what's right and wrong. It was oddly thrilling. They had needed this. This strange catharsis, this communion of their bodies that allowed them to truly understand each other.
He doesn't think they should do it again. He knows they won't. But they don't need to.
He raises his lips up, pressing them gently against Lan Wangji's. It's the first time they've ever kissed in the day, and he can feel the jump of surprise running through Lan Wangji's body, but it only takes him a second for him to curl his hand in Jiang Cheng's hair and pull him closer.
They pull back at the same time, staring at each other in the hazy orange light, and Jiang Cheng wonders where their relationship can go from here. He doesn't want it to go away. He doesn't want to bring it to anyone else's attention. He just wants more of these hazy orange mornings, and he will do what he has to do to get them.
"Come on," Lan Wangji whispers, picking up Jiang Cheng. He had woken up on top of the other man, but he must have moved him at some point to clean up the floor and straighten things up. There's less dust in this house than one would expect, and Jiang Cheng wonders who keeps it up. He wonders if Lan Wangji would tell him the truth if he asked if it was him. "I'll take you back to your room and help you clean up so that you are ready for today's meetings."
Jiang Cheng nods, wrapping his arms around Lan Wangji's neck as the other man carefully guides them back to his rooms, making sure that no one sees them again.
"A-Zhan?" he whispers, and Lan Wangji tenses at that name being used while they are not in bed.
"Yes?"
"Thank you for trusting me with this." He hopes to reach a point soon where he can trust Lan Wangji with all of his edges and needs, and he knows that he is close. He knows that he is soon going to be there.
Lan Wangji is silent for just a moment before he responds. "Thank you for being trustworthy."
Warmth spreads throughout Jiang Cheng's body at being thought of as trustworthy. Someone that can be depended on. He only has one response to this conversation, before he needs to focus on getting ready for the day and not on Lan Wangji's kind smile and strong hands.
"Always, A-Zhan."