Chapter Text
There was a soft knock at the door and Red broke off his instructions to Dembe to call, “Come.”
Liz opened the door slowly and took a hesitant step inside.
“Agent Keen, what prompts this lovely surprise?” Red turns towards her fully and tilts his head.
She swallows, the fear she’s been carrying since getting off the phone with that detective sitting heavy in her gut.
“Red, I…Listen, I know I haven’t exactly been…I…” She can’t seem to marshal her thoughts for this and he’s growing at her.
“Lizzie, sit. Take a breath. Tell me what’s wrong.”
She follows his instructions, exhaling in a quiet rush as she drops onto the couch. “I need your help.”
Her voice is quiet. She thinks if she speaks any louder it will crack.
Red frowns and crouches in front of her to catch her eye. “Anything, Lizzie. You know that. What’s wrong?”
“I…I received a call earlier. About the harbormaster.”
He blinks. “Ah. Of course. What was the number?”
She hands him her phone and opens her mouth to explain more, but he waves her off.
Taking a burner from Dembe, he plugs in the detective’s number.
She listens as the phone rings loud enough for her to hear.
“Detective Wilcox, Metro PD.”
“Detective Wilcox, this is Assistant Director Raymond Cooper, of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. I understand that you are investigating the disappearance of a harbormaster?”
“Murder. I’m investigating the murder of a harbormaster, Director. What can I do for you?”
“Ah. Alright. I was told that you contacted an Elizabeth Keen recently in regards to this?”
“That’s correct. I have a witness willing to testify to a very interesting story about Miss Keen.”
“Agent Keen is one of mine and I have some information regarding your case. Tell me, is the witness a large man, covered in tattoos, with a very distinct sort of claw in his left ear?”
Liz could hear the frown in the detective’s voice.
“How did you know that?”
“Because, Detective, he is a known associate of the man who killed your victim. I am willing to share a good deal of information with you, but I ask in return that you halt your investigation for the moment. I am currently out of the country. As soon as I return, I would ask that you meet with me and Agent Keen. Know, however, that this case is highly classified.”
“How long will you be away?”
“My team should be returning tomorrow. I will call you when we land.”
“Thank you, Director. That would be good. Let me ask you, though. Are you aware of what your Agent did?”
Red exhaled sharply. “Detective, I am well aware of all of the details of this case. What my agent did and did not do, as well as what your witness is lying about, as is his tendency. You have him in custody, I presume?”
“Yes.”
“Could you hold him until we meet?”
“Yes. I was planning to release him today, for his cooperation, but if you are telling me that he’s not trustworthy, I think that’s reason enough for an additional 24 hours.”
“Thank you very much, Detective. I will call you as soon as we touch down.”
Red gestures to Liz and then to the room around them. She blinks for a second, not understanding, before her eyes widen.
She stands and moves closer to him. “Director, Prime Minister Mirziyoyev is waiting to meet with you.”
“Excuse me, Detective, but I must be going. I will speak with you soon.”
The detective’s voice is faint when he replies. “Of course, Director.”
Red hangs up and hands the phone back to Dembe. “Call Mr. Kaplan. We have a problem.”
Dembe nods and moves to dial, but Liz reaches out.
“Red, I’m sorry. About all this. About how I’ve been treating you. I…I guess I just…”
Red nods to Dembe, who exits quickly, and pulls Liz back to sit on the couch.
“I just wanted to mean something to you, I suppose. More than just being…a means to an end. Which is stupid and childish, I know that, but I…”
“My God…You’re meant to be a profiler! How is it possible that you continually read me so poorly?”
She blinks up at him, her eyes still pained, but with a spark of confusion now.
“Lizzie, do you remember Anslow Garrick?”
She nods, frowning.
“I lost Luli that day. I cared for her, very much. I almost lost Dembe, who is a brother to me.”
She nods again.
“You are the one who forced me out of the box.”
She sighs, ever so slightly. “Red, You tried to get the code for both of them. You begged Cooper. I saw the video footage. It was heartbreaking and I don’t think I ever said how sorry I was about Luli. She was lovely. I would have liked to get to know her. But you did. You tried for both of them.”
Red grits his teeth. She is being purposefully obtuse. She had to be.
“Lizzie, I was going to shoot Donald in the head if he didn’t give me that code for you. Not for Dembe, not for Luli. For you. I couldn’t lose you. I couldn’t let him kill you. I couldn’t. Not because of my nefarious plans or the almighty fulcrum. What use is the fulcrum to me, if I’m dead? I believed, because I wasn’t thinking clearly and I hadn’t realized exactly what was going on, that Garrick wanted to kill me…Well, he did want to kill me, but I believed that he would. That he was there to take revenge for shooting him. I was trading my life for yours. I would do so again, gladly.”
She blinks at him.
“Red, I…”
“Lizzie, I care about you a very great deal and if I never find the fulcrum? Well, what is, is. It is only important and my enemies…our enemies, think that I have it, whether I do or not.”
“You care about me? None of this…was about revenge then? Or the Fulcrum?”
He blinks. Inhales slowly and holds it for a beat, before he exhales in a gust. “I won’t lie to you, Lizzie. I will always try never to lie to you. But if there are only two things that you ever believe of me, let it be these: that I care for you and that I would do anything to protect you, to keep you safe and alive. That said, no. I can’t say that none of this was ever just about revenge.”
She blinks at him, her eyes going flat and hollow.
“My original plan was revenge and a power-grab. To find the fulcrum and to use you to get back at your father. I cared about your wellbeing in a vague sort of way, before all this. I wasn’t planning on hurting you, but should it have become necessary, I would haven’t stopped. Your father…you know he’s a career criminal. He’s number 1 on the blacklist. But…things changed.”
“When?” Her voice is a whisper again.
“When I looked up from my captive’s chair and saw you sit down across from me. You were…you are magnificent. You’re beautiful and poised and cocky. You looked me in the eye. I don’t remember the last person I met who was not intimidated by me. People who do not know me…tend not to meet my eye upon first meeting. But you did. I realized that my plans would need to be adjusted, but my…let’s say my priorities didn’t change until later that day.”
She frowns at him.
“When you stomped into my hotel room, enraged and unafraid, and you stabbed me in the neck with my own pen. That was the moment I fell in love with you, Lizzie, and everything changed.”
She blinks, trying to assimilate this. He loves her? He…loves her? Raymond Reddington?
“You’re in love with me?” She repeats and, amazingly, Red’s cheeks flush faintly and he refuses to meet her eyes.
“Lizzie, know that whatever you need, wherever you are, and whomever you are with, I will always help you, as long as I draw breath.”
“Red…” She pauses, thinking. “Raymond.”
Because she’s so close to him, she can feel the shiver that runs down his spine at her use of his given name. She smiles.
Hope bubbles stupidly up inside his chest. Her smile is genuinely happy, filled with pleasure and affection.
“Raymond, you’re in love with me? Good. I’m glad.”
His eyes snap to hers and he blinks. Good? The hope drains away. He searches her expression for triumph, for…he’s not sure what. For love? He doesn’t see either. Of course, Lizzie doesn’t love him in return. Why he even think that she might? Most of the time she can barely even stand to have him in the same room. He told her he loved her (he hadn’t meant to say that. Why did he let that slip out??) and her response was ‘good.’ Why?
Does she think she can use him for her own purposes now? Her knowledge of his…attachment? His weakness? That he’ll…what? He blinks hard and pushes the thoughts away. Lizzie isn’t like that. She’s too kind, too generous for that.
His mind calls up an image of Tom, held captive on that ship for months, starving, freezing, dying slowly while she watched him.
Why would she say good?
She brings her hands up and takes hold of his face. Pulling him forward gently until he drops to his knees properly and straightens to meet her mouth, she kisses him. Softly. As lovingly as she knows how. She can’t say it. Not yet. But she wants him to know that she feels the same. That her reaction to Luther Braxton was fueled by the pain of his perceived betrayal and her love for him.
In the background, Liz vaguely registers the door opening and hears Ressler’s voice.
“Reddington, have you seen—Holy fuck!”
Red pulls back so quickly he almost overbalances and turns to stare at Ressler.
The blond agent is gaping at them and Liz has to suppress a little smirk.
What a sight they must be. Raymond Reddington, once again, kneeling on the floor at her feet, as she sits and bestows kisses on him, like some classical tableau.
She stands quickly and takes a step away from Red. She’s so focused on Ressler that she doesn’t see the flash of pain that Red covers quickly.
“What are you doing here?”
“Liz, what the hell is this!?!”
“Res, it isn’t—“
Here it comes, he thinks. She’s even using Donald’s nickname.
He sits back on his haunches and waits for her to make excuses. For the ‘It isn’t what it looks like’ or ‘it isn’t what you think.’
Because of course it is. He doesn’t have the energy just yet to stand and go back to business as usual. He’s just gotten a glimpse, a taste, of his dearest desires, his most secrets wishes, and now they’re gone again. If they were ever really there, he thinks bitterly. But wasn’t it lovely to pretend, just for a moment that she loved him too.
The moment he felt her tongue inside his mouth, he was lost. Raymond Reddington is not in the habit of lying to himself and he won’t start know. He knows that whatever she says now, he’ll back her. Whatever lie she uses to worm her way out of this. Whatever she gives him, he’ll take.
He is pathetic. He knows this.
“Any of your business. What are you doing here?”
Red blinks and turns to look up at her. It isn’t any of Donald’s business? What is she doing?
Ressler is still gaping.
“Liz! What the fuck are you doing! This is Reddington. If you…I mean…I’m right here. Or…I thought you and Aram were…”
Red can almost feel Liz narrow her eyes. Aram? Ressler, he’d worried about. Aram? Had not even crossed his mind.
“Aram and I were?”
“You know. Together? You’re always meeting him places and whispering together in corners. You’re in each other’s space almost as much as you and Red used to be.”
Red swallows painfully. He had not realized that she was even close friends with Aram, never mind what Ressler is suggesting.
He ached for the days when she had welcomed his hands on her back or his shoulder pressed to her, being close enough to feel her warmth. Something she apparently was bestowing on Aram Mojtabai.
But she’d kissed him. She wasn’t denying or obfuscating with Donald. Perhaps…
“One, that’s absolutely none of your business. Two, Aram and I are friends. Nothing more than that. I have no interest in sleeping with him. Just like I have no interest in sleeping with you. And yes, I am aware that it was Raymond I was kissing.”
She spits her words at him and then turns to look over her shoulder.
“Ray, get up already.” He shivers again at the nickname. “There is no need to continue kneeling at my feet.”
He smirks up at her. Smothers his confusion. “But Lizzie, kneeling at your feet makes me exactly the right height.”
He kneels up, putting him eye level with her crotch.
She turns bright red. Ressler turns vaguely green. Red grins and climbs to his feet.
She faces Ressler. “Look—“
“No, you look, Keen. This is so far outside what’s acceptable that I don’t even…How long has this been going on? How long have you been sleeping with the enemy? Oh god…when I asked if you’d had a lover’s spat, I wasn’t seriously!”
She grins at him, hard, baring most of her teeth. Red has never seen this expression on her face before. He’s not sure he ever wants to see it again.
“It hasn’t effected our working relationship. And it won’t. You can’t even tell when it started, so obviously, it didn’t change anything.”
He pauses, staring at her. Red keeps his face carefully neutral. She’s lying to her partner. She’s standing there, lying to Ressler about them sleeping together. Not only is she not deflecting about this, she is actively trying to inflate it. Red waits, because that is what he does when he does not understand what is happening: More information.
Ressler’s eyes narrow. “Before Garrick at least. My god…you were cheating on Tom before he was brought in for questioning, weren’t you? Was it after the Stewmaker?”
“I knew I found that box just after Zamani. My marriage ended the minute I pulled that box from under the floorboards. No, I never cheated on my husband. The lying bastard that he was.”
Red blinks at that. Those two statements are in no way related, but with them, she is implying that yes, she and Red began sleeping together sometime very soon after Zamani stabbed Tom. That’s my clever Lizzie, he thinks and doesn’t bother to suppress a smirk. Ressler will just think it’s him gloating.
“But obviously, you can’t tell when it started and there has been no effect on the job. So it’s none of your business who I sleep with.”
Ressler’s mouth is pinched. He looks pained. “If that’s all this is, Liz, if you’re just looking for…what? a good time or a quick fuck or something, I—“
“No, Donald. That’s not all this is. Of course, it’s not. Don’t you think if I wanted a ‘quick fuck,’ I’d find someone easier to deal with than Raymond Reddington? This isn’t about convenience, because there is nothing convenient about this. He’s an internationally wanted criminal. Number 4 on the FBI most wanted, no matter that he’s currently an informant, and I’m an FBI profiler…it’s…it’s about as convenient as Hannibal Lector and Clarice Starling.”
Everyone in the room blinks.
“Wow…that’s actually a really apt analogy, now that I think of it. Although, Red is much more attractive and distinctly less psychotic than Dr. Lector.”
Red quirks his lips into that tiny smirk of his. “My thanks, Lizzie. And you are much less vapid and markedly more intelligent than Agent Starling.”
She turns to smile at him and Ressler looks sick.
“Liz, I don’t think you realize what you're doing. Do you know how high his kill count is?”
She looks back at Ressler, eyes narrowed again. “Do you know how high yours is?”
“That’s different!”
“Why?” Her tone is harsh. “Because you’ve got a badge? Res, it’s a piece of metal. You still took human life. So have I. How many have you killed? Seriously. Tell me.”
“102, but that’s—“
“Hey, Red. How many people have you killed?”
“He’s not going to know—“
“Directly and by my own hand? 457.”
She seems to digest this for a moment. Ressler gapes at him.
“Actually, that’s much less than I thought. Funny thing is, I’ve killed 23 people since I started working for the Bureau. Which means that if I killed the same number of people every year for twenty years, I would have killed 460 people. Red has killed fewer people than I would have over the same span of time.”
“Fine.” He says, throwing up his hands and turning on his heel to leave. “Do what you want. Don’t come running to me when it gets you killed.”
He slams the door behind him and Liz blinks. “If I were dead, how could I go to him at all?”
Red laughs, but sobers quickly. He stands and examines Lizzie for a moment.
“Why did you lie to him about us?”
She blinks and swallows.
“I’m sorry. Did you want to…hide this? You said you…but you never said you actually wanted to sleep with me. I’m sorry, that was…I shouldn’t have assumed…”
She seems suddenly skittish and inarticulate.
Red shakes his head.
“Of course, I want to sleep with you. Don’t be an idiot…Lizzie, I would have agreed with whatever you wanted to tell Donald. If you wanted to claim that I forced you into that kiss, I would have gone along with you.”
She frowns at him.
“Why would I? That’s absurd. Even Res knows that you would never do something like that. To anyone.”
Red shrugs. “I’m the villain, Lizzie. I’m the baddie. People enjoy blaming me for things.”
She shook her head. “Why would I want to lie like that anyway? I mean…we probably shouldn’t tell Cooper, but otherwise? Tell whoever you want…”
She trails off, staring up at him. She seems to be coming to a decision, so he remains silent. Meeting her gaze unflinchingly.
“Red…Raymond, I have something for you. Are…should I wait until we’re in the air?”
He blinks, trying to dismiss the automatic innuendo, and nods. Whatever it is, this is not a secure room.
“Come. The jet is waiting.”