Chapter Text
::
love the way she plays (with my head)
::
pluck up the courage and
invite her nowhere good
‘cause i need this more than
just a one night stand
need that honey when she hold my hand
times like this they call for true romance
but she’s not ready for that
just my type; the vamps
::
joygi. the deadline of seulgi’s painting is in three days and sooyoung was at the right place at the right time. somehow, that snowballed into a one-night stand. but then it keeps happening again. and again. and again.
aka the one night stand to friends with benefits to lovers au
::
Sooyoung’s not sure when things started falling into place.
Yesterday? When she subconsciously ordered her coffee and another that is completely different from hers? Last semester? Or maybe when she was loose-limbed and happy from a nap during class?
One thing’s for certain, though.
It starts with her roommate—Yerim—and her nonexistent sense of direction.
::
Seulgi has never had an artist block.
It sucks. The feeling of stagnancy and unproductivity is bringing her mood down and it’s been like this for a whole week now. She twirls her pencil, gritting her teeth at the obnoxiously loud ticking of the clock on top of the door that never bothered her before, staring at the blank canvas in front of her.
There’s no color, no shadow, no vision—nothing. Not even one pencil smudge.
Seulgi has nothing.
She stands up, trudging over the windows before pushing one open. Seulgi’s using one of the art studios on the ground floor that has the quad in full view. White noise from the fountain is soothing but she still glances over to the only other person in the room, shrugging when she notices that Wheein’s wearing headphones.
Feedback pierces the air, Seulgi cringing while gritting her teeth and exhaling when it stops followed by an abrupt strum of a guitar. A band’s setting up at the middle of the quad, just in front of the fountain, and Seulgi’s mildly worried when she remembers it rained that morning. She vaguely recognizes the band from a few live performances and knows that they're nice to listen to.
At least she won’t need her earphones.
Seulgi brings her chair closer to the window, propping her chin on her palm, and starts people watching. Maybe she’ll find something there. Who knows?
::
Sooyoung might quite possibly never leave this place.
She’s never been to the art building—one, it’s at the other side of campus, and two, everything Sooyoung needs to survive college like the on-campus cafe, library, and freshman dorms are all conveniently near the business major building at the other side—so she never had the reason to visit.
The only other time she’s been here was during the freshman campus tour but the quad was covered with tarps for the fountain’s construction and few outdoor renovations back then. It looked nothing like the wonder in front of Sooyoung right now.
She laughs loudly as Yerim guffaws in embarrassment, jumping the thin strip of a flower bed that separates the sidewalk from the neatly cut grass, feet dragging her towards where music is being played live somewhere beyond the decorative trees.
Sooyoung wishes she was wearing a dress because she’s really feeling the moment, twirling once as the band—students judging from the heavy eye bags and cups of caffeine beside them—busking in front of the building whoops loudly in between the lyrics, egging Sooyoung on.
“Please don’t encourage her,” Yerim, her roommate and the reason why they’re at an unfamiliar part of campus under the excuse of I can’t go missing on my own, groans, fishing out her phone, presumably to text her older sister.
Sooyoung sticks her tongue out, singing along just for the heck of it. She just finished a four-hour lecture in a cold-as-fuck hall that has a five-hundred seating capacity—which means no names were called apart from the obvious snoring from a few unsubtle students—and bagged what probably was the best nap of her whole college life so far.
Granted it’s only been a couple of months in her first semester as a freshman but seriously, that nap rebooted her whole being so greatly that Sooyoung feels like she’s in the mood for something good tonight.
“Hey,” she calls out to Yerim who’s now looking at the entrance. “, want to cook tonight?”
Yerim ignores her for a moment, flailing her arms widely at the woman now walking out of the building. “You cook?“ she asks dubiously, eyeing Sooyoung weirdly.
“Nope,” Sooyoung pops the p with her whole chest, laughing. “Should be easy if, like, we follow a recipe online.”
“Yeah, no,” her roommate breezily replies, darting out of the range of Sooyoung’s offended gasp. Yerim starts walking towards the woman who Sooyoung suspects is her older sister. “Stay here. I’ll ask unnie if we can have dinner at her place, though. Her cooking is the best.”
Sooyoung pumps her fist, giggling, and sings along well enough that the vocalist offers her the mic.
It’s a good day.
(This was when everything started. Sooyoung just didn’t know it.)
::
“Oh, hey,” Seulgi grins widely, back from her sudden trip outside. Her whole demeanor is different from the sulking figure Wheein was side-glancing the whole time they shared the empty art room.
“What’s gotten you all smiley?” Wheein asks as she lifts one cup of her headphones to give Seulgi half of her attention, hand not stopping from streaking yellow on her own canvas.
“Nothing,” is what Seulgi says but it’s clearly not nothing. She picks up her pencil again, sitting back down in front of the canvas that’s been left empty for the past week. Seulgi plugs her camera into her laptop, opening a file just out of Wheein’s field of vision before the lead of her pencil meets the fabric of the canvas. “Just went out for some fresh air.”
Seulgi starts sketching.
::
“Sooyoung!” Yerim yells from under her covers, the top of her head peeking when Sooyoung clumsily peers out from the bathroom door, one hand on the knot of her towel wrapped around her body and another brushing her teeth.
“What?”
“Unnie says there’s an art exhibit tonight with free food, wanna come?”
Sooyoung pointedly stares at how both of them are not ready in any shape or form. “Right now?”
Yerim hums, thumbs already working on her phone and Sooyoung knows that she’s halfway through a no thank you message.
“I’m not in the mood.”
“Same.”
They end up ordering a box of pizza each, buying smuggled soju from the shady dorm room two doors down, and binge-watching Studio Ghibli movies until they’re too tired to open their eyes.
::
Seulgi takes an insane amount of time staring at the crudely hung Christmas lights on the trees, the reds and blues and greens twinkling nicely from the surface of her drink. She twirls the red cup in her hand, wonders how she can paint the ripples when an arm hooks against her elbow.
“There you are,” Seungwan ducks her head so Seulgi can hear her better, the sound system around the football field making the ground pulse and their bones vibrate. “Joohyun-unnie wants to get more drinks, you coming with?”
When Seulgi bumped into her TA, Bae Joohyun, at tonight’s party—something about a university-wide celebration for being the three-peat champions in women’s volleyball that Seungwan dragged her to after pointing out that Seulgi spent too much time in her apartment, the last thing she imagined was for her and Seungwan to hit it off, Seulgi unintentionally becoming the third-wheel for two hours now.
She doesn’t mind. It’s quite entertaining to see the usual stoic senior Bae Joohyun stutter as her best friend mixes her a drink after she admitted that she can’t hold alcohol well.
Seulgi shows her best friend her cup. “I’m fine,” she nearly yells just for Seungwan to hear her over the music, waggling her eyebrows suggestively. “Unnie, huh?”
“Shut up,” Seungwan shoves her shoulder lightly, turning away. “Keep your phone on you, okay? Call me if you need anything.”
Seulgi watches as Joohyun sticks at her best friend’s side all the way to the drinks table before taking a sip of her own, turning away to head for the bonfire.
Maybe there’s someone high up that’s watching Seulgi, deciding that it would be unfair if only Seungwan gets a bit of fun tonight because Seulgi wasn’t expecting this.
With the flames of the wild bonfire in the middle of the football field sharpening her features, wholly different from the aura surrounding her months ago, was the woman dancing in the quad last month.
The subject of Seulgi’s painting that landed a place at the monthly art exhibition for exemplary pieces.
And the woman—
She’s dancing again.
::
Sooyoung hears someone whistle to her left—or was it right? All the spinning she’s doing is making her inner compass all messy—and knows that she probably looks stupid, dancing way too much for someone who hasn’t had a drop of alcohol in her, but she can never resist the pull of good music and her body could never keep still.
She opens her eyes enough to see that people are staring, some leering that heats up her cheeks, some she’s vaguely familiar with from other parties and is experiencing a form of second-hand embarrassment, yet Sooyoung loves it.
Loves the attention.
Loves the feeling of being just another face in a large crowd but enough for people to stop and take her in.
Why else would she choose this flashy dress?
The song ends. Sooyoung slowly catches her breath while the song bleeds into a new one. Someone’s screaming and the crowd pulses closer together around the bonfire, their faces fierce with colored sweat as their face paint runs. The DJ suddenly yells into a microphone that she takes song requests and Sooyoung watches with interest when a woman strolls over towards the flimsy DJ booth.
Someone behind Sooyoung hollers, the crowd parting as another keg gets set down on the grass. She vaguely recognizes two other freshmen living on the floor above her, asking if she wants a drink and Sooyoung’s shaking her head when she notices the DJ nodding eagerly in the distance and—
The woman’s eyes catch hers.
She’s got the kind of eyes that makes you not want to look away or you’ll miss something important, maybe even life-changing. It’s a silly thought but that’s the only thing Sooyoung can think of at the moment.
The woman doesn’t walk—she stalks forward and her leather jacket get-up is a little intimidating. Sooyoung would’ve booked it to the other end of the football field if not for the roundness of the woman’s cheeks and the gentle mess of her hair up in a bun.
She’s shorter than Sooyoung but only by a little bit, the woman’s confidence is enough to make her feel like they’re eye to eye, though. Enough to make Sooyoung fiddle with the cup in her hand as the woman closes in.
Right in front of Sooyoung.
“Will you give me a show?”
Her voice is gruff, the right amount of femininity and disuse. Sooyoung sucks in a sharp breath at the question, doesn’t quite know what to make up of the sudden heat prickling the back of her neck. She eyes the woman warily, blushing when she stares right back.
“What kind of show?” Sooyoung doesn’t mean for her voice to sound so breathless. Maybe the dancing is getting to her.
One side of the woman’s mouth lifts into an absurdly attractive smirk. “Just dance for me.”
And then she makes her way to the edge of the bonfire’s light, away from Sooyoung.
“You’re not going to join me?” Sooyoung calls out just as the DJ starts up a new song. Something undeniably sexy and the vibe from the opening pluck of guitar has the people around them buzzing with energy.
All Sooyoung gets is a smile, the woman cocking her hip to the side and pulls a red cup closer to her lips and Sooyoung decides that fuck it.
She dances.
::
People around her jostle and dance around each other, interspersed with hardly-appropriate grinding from students who clearly took their pre-gaming shots seriously. The whole field is buzzing with energy, letting loose from a week of college activities and celebrating through questionable alcoholic mixes and admittedly nice music.
Although...
Maybe this is a bad idea, Seulgi thinks as she gets whiplash from the difference at seeing the same woman months ago versus now. Seulgi never dared to come up to her that time, sneakily taking a picture before locking herself in the studio for the whole night, a sudden burst of motivation, artist block kicked out of the door.
So. Seulgi’s not entirely sure where the sudden confidence came from tonight.
Seulgi’s eyes hardly left the woman, shivers running up her spine enticingly and it’s got nothing to do with the evening chill. It’s achingly obvious that the woman’s familiar with her body, knows how to move, all soft lines and flattering curves. And Seulgi’s not the only one watching. Some move to form a little circle around her but everyone—somehow—knows that it’s the woman’s time, that it’s her gravity pulling them in.
She is all soft body rolls and sharp elbows, the enticing silhouette of her body with the bonfire licking up its flames high behind her is enough to draw in stares but the quick whip of her hair as she tosses it back and forth, from side to side keeps people from coming too close.
Was it intentional?
Suddenly, all Seulgi wants is to be close enough.
To watch closely, to drink in every detail.
Another song ends.
Seulgi doesn’t move as the woman comes towards her, feet stable despite the slight heels and soft turf underneath them.
“How did I do?” she’s breathless, eyes twinkling warmly under the lamppost. “Enjoyed the show?”
Something at her seeking eyes stabs hotly at Seulgi’s core. “The song was great,” Seulgi teases instead, lifting her glass to take a sip, hiding her smirk.
“You weren’t listening to the song, though.” The woman counters, stepping inside Seulgi’s space. “I did what you told me to do,” she whispers coyly while fluttering her eyelashes and biting her bottom lip. “, what’s in it for me?”
Seulgi can feel the people around them feeding off of their energy, the DJ starting another song with a smooth opening and a deep thrumming of the bass guitar. Seulgi licks her lips, the woman following the movement.
“How about a drink? For the show.”
“For the show,” The woman repeats, shaking her head amusedly but plays along. “I’d like that.”
::
Sooyoung isn’t a stranger to sex but one-night stands are…
She shudders, blindly reaching forward, not daring to open her eyes, and gets lucky when her fingers reach a head, tangling themselves and anchoring as her back arches from the unrelenting pressure of the woman kissing every inch of her neck.
One-night stands make Sooyoung feel three things:
Unhinged .
Warm hands make their way underneath the hem of her dress, pushing upward until Sooyoung moans at the soft fingers holding her hips down, pinning her to the bed. Thumbs trace the jut of her hip bone slowly, igniting Sooyoung’s inside slowly until they’re pressing against the hollow of it. Sooyoung’s breath stutters, encouraging until the fingers grip a little bit harder.
Free .
“What do you want?”
Kang Seulgi—a junior who majors in painting, who already has Sooyoung at the edge of orgasm with just a well-timed question of if she wants to have the drink over at the older woman’s place and searing kisses she places on every stretch of Sooyoung’s exposed skin except for her lips—asks, slowing down her kisses until they feel fleeting.
Just hovering about the younger woman, patient.
Sooyoung considers the question, catching her breath.
Dirty .
“What you want to,” she rasps out, feeling herself get wetter with her own words. She squirms, grasping the sheets underneath her the same way she does with the words stuck on her throat.
Sooyoung’s mouth opens and closes. She can’t say it.
Seulgi kisses the nervous bob of her throat before keeping their faces level, eyes half-lidded and attentive. “How about,” she starts, balancing herself on one forearm as she softly fixes the locks of stray hair on Sooyoung’s face from thrashing around. “, I take care of you tonight. Does that sound good to you?”
That… does sound good but—
It’s close. Closer than what any of Sooyoung’s past partners offered her. But it’s still not it. Sooyoung hesitantly nods, blinking once.
“Please.”
She easily melts against the softness of Seulgi’s bed, eyes closed as she lets herself get stripped down to nothing. Fingers climb to her waist, shivering when she feels the callouses on the older woman’s palms, loving the way they feel, while a warm body slithers down.
“Baby,” Seulgi whispers right against her cunt and Sooyoung doesn’t know if the sudden jolt of arousal was because of the warmth of her breath or the endearment. “, can I call you that?”
Sooyoung bites back a whine. “Whatever you want, unnie.”
“Ah, you’re spoiling me too much, letting me have my way like this.” Seulgi kisses the inside of her thighs, smiling up at Sooyoung when her lips catch a trail of slick. “Think you can come up with a safeword for me, baby?”
Soft licks abruptly crash Sooyoung’s train of thought, her feet restless against the sheets, doesn’t know what to do with her hands. The contact is barely anything, teasing at most, and Seulgi makes sure to spread Sooyoung so well that the tip of her tongue barely comes anywhere near the bud of Sooyoung’s straining clit.
“Can’t think,” she huffs out, hips lifting up the bed to try and chase the friction but Seulgi holds her in place.
“Come on,” Seulgi eggs on, smug, and Sooyoung almost screams when she feels the wet heat of Seulgi’s tongue heavy against the root of her clit. Unmoving yet slowly unravels her.
Sooyoung’s head swims, can’t think past the feeling of Seulgi’s body on hers.
“Christmas,” she blurts out the first thing she can think of, the image of reds and blues and greens twinkling at the top of Seulgi’s hair at the football field earlier pops in her mind.
“Good.”
Seulgi sucks hard and just like that, Sooyoung comes, Seulgi’s word ringing in her head.
Good. Good. Good.
::
Seulgi clicks her tongue, slightly disappointed. She hides her smirk when Sooyoung’s—she turns the name around her head for a few seconds, remembering the way the younger woman’s eyes fluttered when Seulgi whispered her name while thumbing at the edge of her bra—thighs instinctively close at the sound, hips subtly grinding upward.
Sooyoung is breathing heavily, one arm slung across her eyes and there’s a pretty red sprawled all the way from the top of her breasts to the tips of her ears. She’s embarrassed, Seulgi can tell, after coming quickly with almost no contact.
And then all of a sudden, Seulgi sees everything clearly. Understands what Sooyoung needs.
“Stay here,” she injects as much roughness she can into her voice, almost cooing at the sight of Sooyoung rapidly taking her arm off of her eyes to catch Seulgi’s. Her eyes are glistening and the wobble of her bottom lip gives away her emotions. “I’ll just get something. Can you wait?”
The can you be good goes unsaid but the way Sooyoung eagerly nods reassures Seulgi all the same.
They’re slowly getting on the same page.
She dims the lights, not forgetting to close the blinds, before reaching for the familiar box under her bed. Sooyoung’s watching her, still catching her breath, and moans when leather comes into view.
Seulgi smiles at her and goes through the motion of making sure everything is clean. She doesn’t miss the way Sooyoung’s thigh clenches and unclenches periodically, eyes growing heavy from watching Seulgi. By the time Seulgi’s reaching down to pull the harness up her hips, there’s a considerably visible wet patch on her sheets just under Sooyoung.
“Unnie,” she whispers, needy, flushing when Seulgi won’t take her eyes off of the mess she made.
Slowly, Seulgi spreads lube on the strap-on she’s wearing, careful and calculated, wiping her hand on a towel she prepared earlier.
“Sooyoung-ah,” she purposefully rolls the name off her mouth slowly, reaching for a pillow before tapping at Sooyoung’s tummy to lift herself up. “You didn’t let me enjoy making you come earlier.”
Mouth opening and closing rapidly, Seulgi hums at Sooyoung’s expression. “I’m sorry, unnie.”
“It’s alright,” she waves off easily, positioning herself before grinding forward once, letting the head of the dildo catch against Sooyoung’s clit, and loves the way the younger woman tries to fold in on herself. Seulgi takes a deep breath, waiting for Sooyoung to catch her eyes. “You’ll make it up to me, right? Let me use you until I’m satisfied?”
Seulgi waits, wants to make sure she gets it right, and almost lights up with the way Sooyoung responds in an instant.
“Fuck.”
It’s a dirty move, exploiting Sooyoung’s fantasy so abruptly like this.
“Use your words properly, please.”
Sooyoung already looks wrecked with just the tip of the strap on stretching her entrance. Seulgi groans at the visible way the wet cunt clenches, trying to get her inside, deeper and snug. She holds herself back despite the urge to knock the wind out of Sooyoung’s lungs in one thrust.
She won’t move until Sooyoung told her to.
“Please,” Sooyoung is already frantic, hooking two fingers against the straps crisscrossing against Seulgi’s hips, tugging. “, wanna make you feel good.”
Something blossoms inside Seulgi’s chest, something warm and heavy. She smiles down at Sooyoung, giving her lips a chaste kiss, barely a second of contact.
“Don’t hesitate to use your safeword, okay? I won’t be disappointed if you do.” Seulgi softly reminds, giving her hips a test jog, sinking a little inside. Sooyoung nods, hair caught behind her head. Seulgi’s smile drops. “Words.”
Sooyoung scrambles for words, nails softly digging in around Seulgi’s hips. “I will. Now please,” she must know how much Seulgi likes it when she begs—or maybe Seulgi made it obvious, can’t remember much else beyond the moment right now—because the way she whined the next words will forever replay in Seulgi’s mind. “, fuck me.”
::
Sooyoung is certain she’s never been fucked like this before.
Seulgi took her sweet time getting every inch of the strap on inside, pulling back whenever Sooyoung gets impatient or tries to speed her up by wrapping her legs around a slim waist. She’ll always click her tongue, the disapproving slant of her lips shouldn’t turn Sooyoung on but it does.
And it’s so unfair how well Seulgi catches on to everything Sooyoung does.
She tries to be a brat, craving something harder, and Seulgi catches both of her wrists in one hand while raising a lone unamused eyebrow.
The slick Sooyoung let out at that moment should be enough for Seulgi to slide inside without any problem.
But, of course, Seulgi takes her damn time.
“I’ll make it worth it,” Seulgi grunts against her ear, the image of her only being halfway inside burning bright against the back of Sooyoung’s eyelids. “Be patient, baby.”
So, Sooyoung lies on her back, counting the individual eyelashes kissing the older woman’s cheekbones, limbs restless against the sheets. The burn on her cunt feels more intense than usual, making her bite her lip when she just craves to have the stretch all the way inside, to feel full.
It’s the sweetest form of torture when she can feel the heat of Seulgi’s thighs near, the head of the strapon barely nudging against that one spot inside of her that’s been pulsing to life the moment they started. Sooyoung almost drools, head lolling to the side to pant harshly, moaning weakly when Seulgi chooses the moment to paint soft kisses against her neck.
She feels so sensitive, everything heightened and it’s all got to do with the prolonged pleasure. Sooyoung distantly wonders if this is how good it feels with Seulgi at the start, what more when she’s bottomed out? When she’s moving?
“Oh my god.”
Sooyoung shuts her eyes tight, her ears ringing, every one of her senses focusing at the one point of contact of her cunt closing in against the head of the strap-on. Shivers wracked her body, her insides feeling like they’re swollen from how sensitive everything is.
“So good,” she hears Seulgi murmuring somewhere against her hair. “, took me so well.”
Seulgi shifts, scooting her knees for a better grip on the bed and the jolt of pleasure thundering down Sooyoung at the accidental movement makes her cry out.
“I want to come,” she whisper-screams, hysterical, and her voice hoarse. She tugs at Seulgi’s hair, bringing them closing together, and hisses when two fingers twist at her nipple. “Please please please, I need it—I want to…”
“Okay,” Seulgi nods, kissing the bottom of Sooyoung’s eyes. “, go ahead.”
Too far gone with pleasure, Sooyoung misses the glint in Seulgi’s eyes because hers rolls back, screaming high up into the ceiling when all it takes is a gentle roll of Seulgi’s hips before she’s careening over the edge.
Time is nonexistent, especially when all it takes is for Seulgi to move infinitesimally and pleasure starts to ripple from deep inside Sooyoung all over.
“Fuck,” Sooyoung pants out, trying to catch her breath. It doesn’t help that Seulgi looks at her patiently, with intent, periodically squeezing the meat of Sooyoung’s thighs and it’s then that she remembers that Seulgi hasn’t come yet. “, unnie...”
“Hey baby, you okay?”
Seulgi has ruined that name for Sooyoung forever.
“I feel so full,” her breath hitches when slowly, Seulgi rolls her hips forward, pressing in deeply and grinding herself against the seat of the strapon. She wants to say that she’s sensitive, that she can’t, no more, but Sooyoung wants it.
Wants to be pushed to her limit and beyond it.
“Is it my turn now, Sooyoung-ah?”
She nods, spreading her legs lewdly and moaning when she feels just how messy she is.
And she lets Seulgi use her.
::
Seulgi thinks that Sooyoung’s perfect.
She has to keep a hand steady on the bed, trying her best to keep the sudden rush of feelings at bay when Sooyoung lets her have everything.
And Seulgi?
She makes sure it’s a night Sooyoung won’t forget anytime soon.
::
“Shit.”
Sooyoung watches in slow motion when she knocks over a water bottle. It has its cap intact, thankfully not making a mess, but it’s still enough for the woman snoring on the bed to jolt awake.
“Mm?” Seulgi’s hair is a mess, an adorable frown on her lips when she rises on her elbows to look at Sooyoung already fully dressed at the edge of her bed. “Morning.”
“Good morning,” Sooyoung doesn’t feel as awkward as she expects, giving up on tiptoeing around the room as she fishes for her heels, tugging the hem of her dress properly.
Seulgi opens her mouth a few times and Sooyoung notes that they’re still swollen from when she accidentally bit them too hard around her fourth—or was it fifth?—orgasm last night. Sooyoung feels her stomach drop, dreading the possibility of Seulgi asking her to stay a while longer or worse: to stay over for breakfast.
Sooyoung doesn’t know how she can say no to both.
But Seulgi just stares at her for another moment, speaking just before the silence bleeds into awkwardness.
“Do you want me to walk you back?”
She shakes her head. “No, it’s fine.”
Seulgi doesn’t insist and Sooyoung breathes a little easier.
“Here,” Seulgi says just before she makes her way out of the room. It’s a piece of paper torn from a sketchbook shoved underneath the older woman’s bed, her phone number and name hastily scribbled. “Just in case.”
Sooyoung nods, tucking it inside her phone case. “Just in case,” she parrots.
“Take care on the way home.”
“I will.”
The door shuts and Sooyoung leaves.
::
Seulgi is patient.
“Fries,” she says instead of a proper greeting, Taeyong rolling his eyes behind the bar but hollers the order through the tiny window in between the shelves of liquor anyway.
“Hello to you too.” Seulgi grins at the snippy reply, eyes turning into crescents, and the boy scoffs at her. “Okay, you’re scaring me.”
“What? Can’t I smile?”
Taeyong narrows his eyes. “No, but I’m starting to get jealous with how good your lay was. It’s been two weeks, Seulgi. Two.”
Seulgi scoffs, playing with the napkin in front of her. “So?”
He sighs wistfully, looking out at a window. “I can’t remember the last time I got some.” He turns to fix them both a drink, wiping at his eyes dramatically. There are no customers yet because Seulgi likes to barge in as soon as the sign turns to OPEN when she’s bored, the usual crowd trickles in the pub whenever the sun starts to set. “She called you yet?
At the reminder, Seulgi places her phone face-up in front of her, within arms reach just in case. He doesn’t know the sordid details but Seulgi’s mood was so questionable that he eventually got curious. Seulgi glossed over the finer details—she didn’t give away Sooyoung’s name—and all he knows is that Seulgi is absolutely smitten with Sooyoung.
(Seulgi also omitted the part where Sooyoung was the one she painted last month after a really bad case of artist’s block. He doesn’t need to know that. The only person who knows is Seungwan and Seulgi’s had years of experience that her best friend won’t tell anyone anything.)
“Any day now,” Seulgi shrugs easily, leaning back in her seat when he places the plate of fries in front of her.
“You said that last week.”
“I can feel it.”
Besides, Seulgi is patient.
She’ll wait for Sooyoung.
Half an hour later, her phone lights up.
Unknown Number [7:53 PM]
Seulgi-unnie?
It’s Sooyoung
Are you free tonight?
::
She’s been doing so good.
For the past two weeks, Sooyoung avoided thinking about Seulgi.
Well, consciously, that is.
Sometimes, she’ll be in the library, studying, and hear someone’s voice at the same octave and she freezes. Someone will get close to her ear, whispering, and Sooyoung will have hot flashes until she’s a flustered mess. She’ll run a soft cloth over her skin and she’ll be transported back to the best aftercare she’s ever had.
The moments come, Sooyoung deals with them—by shoving them far at the back of her mind and focusing her entire soul on something else—,and she carries on.
Until last night.
She had a dream so vivid that when Sooyoung woke up in the middle of the night, pajamas sticking against her uncomfortably, flapping her arms all over her bed to make sure she was really alone, paranoid because of how real everything felt.
Seulgi’s phone number is left crammed behind her phone case, out of sight but not out of mind, and it feels heavier than usual.
If asked, Sooyoung will defend that it was a moment of weakness.
She’ll blame it on the way she’s been wet all day because of the dream, eating her every thought and when night approaches, Sooyoung’s convinced that the only way for this to stop is to face it head-on.
So she texts Seulgi.
Which lands her back at the older woman’s apartment, awkwardly sliding off her coat as Seulgi putters around her kitchen, opening cabinets and the sound of glasses sliding together complimenting the backtrack of some American band playing softly in the living room.
“I have a beer, apple juice, and Sprite. Which do you want?”
Sooyoung clears her throat first before speaking. “Sprite, please.”
Seulgi hums, singing under her breath. “Here.”
Sooyoung eyes the cute bear coaster she placed on the low table. It’s even got little round ears poking out.
“This isn’t what you think it is.”
Everything stops.
Sooyoung bites her tongue, looking down at her lap, cursing inside her mind because can’t you have phrased that better?!
She feels too anxious to look at Seulgi and she shakes when gentle hands clasp around her knee. Soft, not demanding. Patient.
“What do you want, Sooyoung-ah?” Her voice is soft, yielding, and there’s something there that makes Sooyoung take a deep breath before trying to meet her eyes.
“I just need tonight.” Uncomplicated, no strings, just a release.
“Okay,” Sooyoung’s head spins at how easily Seulgi agrees. Maybe it really is that easy. Maybe it’s just her making things complicated inside her own head. “, you don’t have to rush tomorrow morning. If you stayed the night, that is.”
Sooyoung laughs softly, awkwardness starting to melt from her arms. “I won’t.”
Seulgi purses her lips slightly, slowly taking Sooyoung’s hand, checking if it was alright before pressing a soft kiss against the back. “Do you remember your safe word?”
And just like that, with just a few choice words, Seulgi managed to get the barely burning spark that Sooyoung was trying her hardest to tamp down for the past two weeks to roar into a bright, greedy fire. Like the bonfire from when they first met.
“Christmas.”
“Good,” Seulgi nods, pleased. Sooyoung damn near keens. “Get on the bed, strip down to your underwear, on your hands and knees, please.”
And Sooyoung should’ve known right at the moment that she couldn’t get Seulgi out of her mind that she’ll always come back.
Again and again and again.
::
Truth be told, Seulgi was waiting for when the other shoe would drop.
Sooyoung will get tired of her, she’ll go on dates, find a better partner, be too swamped with college to spare Seulgi her time of day—or worse: ghost her.
There’s got to be a hundred reasons why this… arrangement of theirs won’t work out.
But weeks go by and Seulgi’s grown used to finding Sooyoung’s highlighter pens hiding under the couch, the smell of the shampoo and body wash lingering on her sheets that’s so fruity Seulgi wouldn’t even dream of touching it with a 60-meter pole yet smells ridiculously wonderful on Sooyoung herself, buying the fruit-flavored candy she always tastes on Sooyoung’s mouth.
Weeks go by and Seulgi grows comfortable.
So much so that she’s blindsided when Sooyoung slips.
Here’s the thing about Sooyoung: she’s fine with Seulgi knowing her takeout order at the 24/7 Mexican place they both discovered—when they found themselves full of energy one October night even after fucking for hours—and love, she’s fine with Seulgi saying hi to her on campus in the off-chance they bump into each other, fine with Seulgi leaving hickeys despite her whines of her roommate’s teasing.
She’s fine with a lot of things except for one.
Sleeping over.
She never did it again after their first night together.
Until now, that is.
Seulgi was a hundred percent sure that Sooyoung slipped out when she collapsed face down on her pillow, too worn out because Sooyoung needed extra special attention last night at the expense of her muscles, so imagine her surprise when she wakes up to find Sooyoung curled towards the middle of the bed, snoring lightly.
“Oh my god,” she groans softly, running both palms against her eyes harshly to make sure she’s seeing right. Sooyoung’s warm breath tickles her shoulder. Yup, still there.
Slowly, Seulgi gets up from bed, draping the rest of her blanket on top of Sooyoung, and quietly makes her way outside. The only thing she snagged on the way out was her bra dangling from the doorknob and questionable workout shorts poking from under her bed.
She doesn’t know how Sooyoung takes her coffee and Seulgi spends an entire five minutes panicking over it before wondering if Sooyoung would even stay for coffee.
Seulgi leaves some in her coffee maker just in case.
An unfamiliar alarm rings from her room and Seulgi wonders if it’s the right time to wake the younger woman up. She did remember something about a meet-up at the library with some classmates for a group project.
Sooyoung is unmoving despite the blaring lyrics of Girls’ Generation’s Run Devil Run on the floor beside her so Seulgi takes a deep breath and wakes her up.
“Fuck,” Sooyoung squints, blinking blearily when Seulgi hands over her still-noisy phone.
“Good morning to you too,” Seulgi awkwardly grins, brain short-circuiting at hearing Sooyoung’s morning voice, before throwing a thumb towards the open door. “I’ll be in the kitchen making coffee.”
Sooyoung just stares at her, phone now silent, and Seulgi flees at the smell of freshly brewed coffee. She can’t get the image of a sleepy Sooyoung out of her mind, shaking her head once she realizes that she’s smiling while mixing in sugar.
When it’s been ten minutes and Sooyoung is still questionably dead to the world, Seulgi wakes her up for the second time, reminding her of her classes.
“Cancelled,” is all Sooyoung grunts out, swatting at Seulgi’s hand, and shoving her head under a pillow.
Seulgi doesn’t know what to do.
“Okay,” she breathes out when she’s calmed down enough to process Sooyoung staying longer than she usually does. “, you can sleep in if you want.”
When Sooyoung doesn’t reply, Seulgi figures that she’s already asleep again.
It doesn’t take a genius to pinpoint that this is exactly when things start derailing.
::
Sooyoung stops mid-movement, her sheets comically falling back down her bed in slow motion with Yerim staring at her from the open door. She shouldn’t feel guilty but somehow she does when her roommate narrows her eyes.
“What are you doing?”
“Changing my sheets?”
Yerim slowly steps inside their room, letting her bookbag fall from her shoulders with a dull thud. “This is the third time you cleaned our room.”
Sooyoung scoffs. “The bathroom is our shared space, of course I’ll clean it.”
“You also did my laundry yesterday.”
“It was disgusting and I deserve compensation for the emotional and physical trauma I had to endure doing it.”
“Okay, that’s it,” Yerim snaps, dragging one of the chairs in front of Sooyoung and pushing her forcefully until Sooyoung’s sitting in front of her. “Why are you being weird?”
“I’m weird? You’re the one being too touchy with me being productive.”
“Sooyoung-ah.”
“Yerim-ie.”
Yerim crosses her arms and Sooyoung starts to get scared with how eerily similar she is with Joohyun’s glare.
“You hooked up with your mystery someone, basically glowed like a pregnant woman, was jumpy for a while but I thought that was because you were scared to bump into them in class, but then you hooked up again—regularly, might I add, and now you’re keeping yourself distracted.” Yerim softens a little, arms uncrossing until she’s got her palm awkwardly on Sooyoung’s knee. “What happened? Do I need to beat someone up?”
The last question punches a laugh out of Sooyoung, rolling her eyes at the mental image of Yerim trying to punch Seulgi. “You’ll beat someone up or will you ask Joohyun-unnie?”
“Shut up, you know what I mean.” With a swipe of her thumb against Sooyoung’s skin, Yerim offers her a smile. “You can talk to me, you know.”
Sooyoung bites her lip, hoping that Yerim would drop it after her obvious topic change. Yerim doesn’t know Seulgi, only bits and pieces of some encounters but her roommate doesn’t know how frequent they’ve been hooking up and she never caves whenever Yerim tries to pry any kind of information out of her.
Are they older? What major? Are they hot? On a scale of the worst to the best sex you’ve ever had, how good are they and why do you keep coming back?
Maybe this time Sooyoung can share a little bit. Just to see if a little outside perspective will help ease the tangle of thoughts inside her mind ever since she fucked up and stayed the night at Seulgi’s.
“I,” Sooyoung starts, fiddling with the hem of her shirt. “, I don't have time for a relationship.”
Outside, a few people shout while watching the live basketball game playing at the lounge area’s TV, whooping loudly before the unmistakable sound of their RA’s keep it down pierces through the air. Yerim leans back a little, genuine confusion written all over her face.
“Don’t have time or won’t?” Sooyoung bristles at the question, opening her mouth to protest but Yerim bulldozes on. “If you’re already fucking each other on a three--out-of-seven-days-a-week basis then I’d say you have the time.”
Sooyoung huffs. Maybe she worded it wrongly.
“I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship.”
“Why?”
It’s a simple question. Why?
Sooyoung could say anything like wanting to focus on her studies or that she doesn’t want to miss out on anything but before the words could form, she remembers how Seulgi will always ask if she has anything important coming up, never hesitating to postpone their hook-up in favor of letting Sooyoung borrow her dining table that is extremely comfortable for long periods of studying.
Seulgi never held her back, her grades never slipped since they started this. So, why?
“I’m not sure.”
Talking to Yerim seems to have made an even bigger mess for Sooyoung.
::
Seulgi knows that Sooyoung was freaked out—is still freaking out based on the radio silence.
But Seulgi is patient.
When she doesn’t see Sooyoung on campus, Seulgi blames it on their buildings being on either side of campus.
When it reaches the three-week mark and Sooyoung still hasn't replied to Seulgi’s multiple hey and are you okay?, Seulgi tells herself it’s because maybe Sooyoung needs to focus on her finals and the winter break is just around the corner.
But doubt starts to creep in when she drives home for Christmas and there’s still no call from Sooyoung, Seulgi is left wondering if this is how everything will end.
::
Sooyoung doesn’t think there’s any grand realization or one eureka moment where everything just “clicks”.
No, it’s more like she’s surrounded by her whole family, sitting at the couch of her childhood home with a glass of wine in one hand and her phone in another, staring at the numerous messages Seulgi has left her over the past month, and she makes up her mind that she’s so fucking tired of feeling so heavy whenever she misses Seulgi.
She’s the one who put herself in this misery and she’s the only one who can pull herself out of it.
Retreating to her childhood bedroom with the excuse of a stomach ache, Sooyoung reigns every emotion in, tries to remember every word she’d rehearse in the mirror that she’ll say to Seulgi when they meet again, and presses the call before she can change her mind.
“Hello?”
It’s—
Sooyoung feels herself exhaling shakily. It’s just one word, one damned hello, but she can’t help but pick it apart. How Seulgi doesn’t sound confused that Sooyoung’s calling her after a month of ghosting her, how she sounds like she was just waiting, how she sounds so damn good even through the distance.
It’s just one word and it’s all Sooyoung needs, apparently.
“Unnie,” she can’t help the way the last syllable curves into a whine, clutching a pillow tightly against her chest and curling up at the center of her bed. “I’m sorry.”
Seulgi senses the distress in her voice, shushing her softly, and Sooyoung vaguely hears the sound of a door closing on Seulgi’s end of the call before it’s a whole lot quieter. “Baby, it’s okay. We’re okay. Where are you? Are you safe?”
The barrage of questions squeezes at Sooyoung’s chest harder and she has half a mind to wonder if she’s going to hyperventilate. But when she exhales at Seulgi’s urging, she finds herself feeling a little looser, a little bit better now that Seulgi’s cooing softly against her ear, telling her that everything’s fine.
“I’m fine,” she sniffs. She’s not crying, not yet, but close. She’s far from drunk but in the darkness of her bedroom, with Seulgi’s steady breathing against her ear, Sooyoung finds words a bit easier this time around. “Just miss you so bad.”
There’s garbled static from the other side, Seulgi heaving out a sigh.
“Really? I missed you too, baby.”
Sooyoung smothers her smile against her pillow, feeling ridiculously giddy all of a sudden. “It sucks. I’m sorry. Might never leave your side again just so I won’t feel this again.”
She can feel the ghost of Seulgi’s smile when she hears her soft laugh. If Sooyoung keeps her eyes closed, she can imagine Seulgi more vividly. Feeling like she’s just on the other side of the bed instead of somewhere else.
“I want that,” Seulgi whispers like she’s making sure only Sooyoung will hear her words. “I won’t let you go if that’s what you want.”
It’s a promise of something more, something Sooyoung doesn’t realize she’s been craving for. The possessiveness, the feeling of wanting Seulgi to keep her for herself. Going from months of constant attention on her to suddenly having none of it is catching up to Sooyoung, blindsiding her so hard that she’s clenching her legs just at the sound of Seulgi’s sheets rustling in the background.
“What were you doing?” Sooyoung clears her throat, hoping it doesn’t sound as hoarse as she feels. “Waiting for the New Year?”
“Listening to music while painting. No rest for the wicked and all that.”
It has to be intentional, Sooyoung thinks, replaying how Seulgi says the last half of her sentence with a groan, obviously popping her joints but it sounds so different when she knows how close it is to what Seulgi sounds like when she drives in their favorite strap-on deeper inside Sooyoung, her hips doing that little thing where she tries to go even deeper while the head presses directly at the spot inside of her that never fails to drive her crazy.
“Mm, fuck.”
Sooyoung blushes, freezing as a hot blush takes over her face. She got so lost in her trip to memory lane that it’s too late when she realized she’s got her legs wrapped around her pillow, the contact against her cunt making her feel like a live wire, a whimper spilling out of her mouth.
It’s deadly silent on the other end of the call and Sooyoung slowly untangles her legs from the pillow, mouth working open to form words when—
“Baby,” Seulgi’s voice is low, pitched just like how when she would ask Sooyoung if she wants it slow or fast. “What are you doing?”
“I—” Sooyoung doesn’t want to lie but it’s also too embarrassing to admit that she’s turned on just from hearing Seulgi’s voice. “I can’t tell.”
Seulgi hums, not buying it. “Are you touching yourself right now? Is that why you missed me?” She chuckles when Sooyoung fully whines now, unrelenting. “Can’t fuck yourself half as good as I do? Is that it?”
“I… wasn’t touching myself,” Sooyoung’s breathing has gone choppy, rubbing her legs together to try and alleviate the urge to touch herself but all it does is spread her slick messily against the inside of her thighs. “And I don’t miss you just for sex.”
Maybe that was giving too much away, maybe it was too much for a first conversation after a month of running away.
“I don’t fuck you just for sex either, Sooyoung-ah,” Seulgi confesses. Sooyoung’s had a hunch that Seulgi might like her but she tries not to think about it too much, too scared that it would come true before. But now, it soothes over her like a warm blanket, wrapping around her and making her feel safe. “Fuck, I miss you so much, you don’t know. Want you to touch yourself right now, baby. I want to hear it.”
Maybe they’re doing it backward, especially after them basically admitting that this goes beyond a simple benefits arrangement, but Sooyoung’s already had a hand inside her underwear before Seulgi could even finish talking.
“I am. I’m doing—fuck—it,” she moans shakily, not anticipating just how sensitive she is. “I’m so messy, unnie. You always make me like this, hah.”
There’s rustling on the other end of the bed and Sooyoung thrashes when Seulgi groans. Fuck, she’s also touching herself.
“You drive me crazy,” Seulgi breathes out harshly and Sooyoung doesn’t know if the wetness she can hear is hers or Seulgi’s. “Go at your own pace, baby. Let me hear you.”
It doesn’t compare to the real thing, to having Seulgi’s weight against her, to having her whisper every dirty thing she never knew would reduce her to a shivering pile of arousal, but Sooyoung’s head swims all the same at hearing how much she’s affecting Seulgi.
“Not gonna last long,” she mutters, fingers pressing against her entrance, easily taking in two. “, next time I—oh my god—come, it should be because of your mouth, unnie.”
“Yes,” Seulgi hisses, breath hitching at a hiccup. “, will fuck you so good, baby. Promise.”
They don’t mean for it to be like this but when Sooyoung comes, fireworks also go off outside of her house. She startles with two fingers deep inside of her, heart hammering before she remembers where she is and what was happening.
“Oh my god,” a laugh bubbles from her chest, spilling, smiling like crazy as reds and blues and greens explode outside of her bedroom window. “Happy New Year, unnie.”
At some point, Seulgi also comes, the sound of her coming undone almost kicking up Sooyoung’s arousal like she didn’t just orgasm but she reigns it in, listening closely to Seulgi as her bed squeaks and she groans, tired and happy.
“Happy New Year, baby.”
::
“Uh,” Sooyoung gapes, blinking twice to make sure she’s not seeing things. “, hi?”
Seulgi is in front of her dorm building, bundled up in a thick coat, smiling softly at Sooyoung who just got back from her parent’s house.
“Do you want to go out on a date?” Seulgi asks, stepping forward.
“Wait—right now?”
A nod. “Right now.”
Sooyoung sighs, heart dropping inside of her ribcage but it doesn’t feel unpleasant.
She wonders if this is what falling in love feels like.
::
“Oh my god?!”
“Fuck, keep your voice down.”
“Oh my god?!”
Sooyoung sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose when it was Joohyun who shrieked at a higher pitch than Yerim. She looks at Seulgi for back-up, huffing when she sees Seulgi at the side with her best friend, Seungwan.
Out of all days, they just had to have their first date at the fancy cafe half an hour away from campus that is famous for their delicious brunches that also happened to have Seungwan and Joohyun cramped in one booth with Yerim on the other.
Apparently, they’re at the meet my little sister stage.
Yerim points an accusing finger at Seulgi before making quotation marks in the air. “You’re the best sex Sooyoung’s ever had?!”
Seungwan doubles over in laughter, waving an apology at the affronted group of ladies at the next table.
Rapidly, Joohyun is nose-deep into her phone, swiping aggressively until she practically throws her phone on the table, face-up for Sooyoung to see.
It’s a picture of a painting. A painting with her face. It’s kind of hard to tell that it’s her but Sooyoung knows her own clothes, the way the sunset looks that afternoon, and the smiling faces of the people from the band.
“You’re Seulgi’s exhibit painting?!”
Seulgi guffaws, blushing violently. Seungwan’s crying from laughing too much. Yerim goes from grossed out to awed, cooing at the picture of the painting. Joohyun clears her throat and orders two pitchers of mimosas. And Sooyoung shakes her head, her heart swelling inside her chest.
::
end.
::