Archive of Our Own

"This is the part where you leave." 

Jeongguk couldn't say he wasn't expecting that, it wasn't the first time that Jimin was kicking him out right after having sex, thighs still a little bit shaky from his last orgasm but it still hurt more than he'd wanted to let on. 

"When are you going to stop doing this?" 

Jimin stopped halfway while putting his clothes back on, turning around to face him. "Doing what?" he glared.

"This. Kicking me out right after sex like you can't wait to get rid of me. Like—like I'm a disposable trash you can throw away any time you want." Jeongguk's voice trembled, much to his dismay, but he was finally able to let the words out after keeping them inside for so long and he was relieved more than anything. 

"Stop putting words in my mouth." Jimin scoffed, turning his back on Jeongguk and continued putting his clothes on like Jeongguk hadn't said anything. 

"But that's how you're making me feel!"

Jimin sighed loudly before turning around again, now fully clothed, and shot Jeongguk a glare.

"Isn't that what this is supposed to be? We fuck then leave when we're done. We both agreed to that, isn't that right? What? Do you expect me to lie down with you and hold you like we're mates?" Jimin laughed, right at his face, like Jeongguk's feelings were nothing but a joke to him. 

It felt as if his chest was being ripped open, but he swallowed the hurt, and said, "I—I want us to be." Hesitantly, he looked up, only to see that the laughter had been wiped out of Jimin's face. Now replaced with unconcealed anger. Before he could talk, Jeongguk cut him off. "I...I love you, Jimin. You know I—"

"Yes, I'm aware. You've been telling me for years ." He said it as if it was a burden, as if he'd rather live without that knowledge. 

Jeongguk gulped, wringing his hands as a source of distraction. He was silent for a few moments, wracking his head for what he should say, looking for the right words, if there were any.

With all the courage he had mustered, he said, "I want us to be more than this. I want...I want more w-with you." 

"Yeah, well, I don't," Jimin hissed, running a hand through his hair exasperatedly. And it seemed so easy for him to say those words, like they weren’t tearing Jeongguk apart. 

"We both know you don't mean that." Jimin was frowning at him, his usually soft features dented with anger, begging Jeongguk to just shut up . Jeongguk should shut up, but he had finally had the courage to say all of this and he wasn't about to stop. "I—we've been doing this for years. You wouldn't have kept me around for so long if you didn't have any feelings for me." Right? Jeongguk had said with all the conviction he had in him, trying to sound as confident as he could.

One second, Jimin was glaring as if he wanted to pounce Jeongguk and rip his mouth just so he would stop talking; the next, he was laughing. And it wasn't the good kind of laugh that made his heart flutter. It was the kind of laugh that made Jeongguk feel small, and made his throat painfully tight. 

"I sleep around with other people. You're not that special." 

Jeongguk knew that wasn't true. They'd been sleeping together for years now, and if Jimin had slept with someone else, he would've been able to smell it, he would've known, but there had been nothing. 

Has Jimin been that good at hiding it?

No , he knew Jimin was just trying to push him away, he knew he was trying to purposefully hurt him. But it still didn't stop the tears from pricking his eyes and his heart from sinking into the pit of his stomach.

A low growl of possessiveness grumbled in his chest, his alpha’s instinctive reaction to Jimin’s asseveration but he quickly quelled it. When his whole body was aching along with his heart, taming his wolf meant nothing.

"Oh," Jeongguk mumbled uselessly, quickly glancing away from Jimin to hide the shininess of his eyes. "I—" he cleared his throat, "I should go. I'm sorry for—just, sorry." 

He scrambled to his feet to look for his clothes that were scattered on the floor of Jimin's chamber and quickly put them on. He wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. 

Jimin called his name when Jeongguk was halfway out of his chamber. Jeongguk wanted to slam the door in his face and just leave, but who was he kidding? He had always been weak for Jimin. 

He stopped in his tracks but he refused to turn around, still trying to hide the way his eyes shone with tears. 

"I'm…" Jimin trailed off. He was quiet for a long time before finally sighing. "Nothing, it's—never mind. Please leave."

Luckily, he managed to get far enough from Jimin's room before his tears touched the floor.

—

When they had freed Jimin from the Vakailryans, Jeongguk's father had known that it wasn’t going to be easy for Jimin, and he hadn’t been wrong. Jimin locked himself in his chamber and was allowed to have his meals in his room. Jeongguk's father understood that Jimin hadn’t grown up as a normal kid, and that he now needed special care, so the healers who mostly tended to kids tried their best to meet his every need. Despite Jeongguk’s father's indulgence, he still made sure to urge him from time to time to come out of his shell. Jimin was now in a safe place and he was free to do whatever he wished. It took a lot of coaxing, months for Jimin to trust them and finally have some confidence to step out of his chamber. 

Nevertheless, as expected, Jimin didn't get along with other people. He was always wary and suspicious of everyone, growling at anyone who came too close to him, which got him into petty fights and made him a frequent visitor at the medical wing. It was all due to Jimin's hostility, his inability to truly believe that they were not his enemy, and that no one was going to take advantage of him.

But even then, no one could blame him. 

Jimin didn't tell them anything, but it didn't take a genius to understand what life had been in the hands of the Vakailryans. 

There were a lot of one-sided fist fights between Jimin and Jeongguk: fights that Jimin initiated and the latter never reciprocated. Maybe it wasn't very alpha of him to let an omega beat him up, but he had never cared much for that. He cared a lot more for Jimin than for his own pride. He cared for the omega more than anything. 

At some point, Jimin finally got tired of slamming his fist into Jeongguk's face and making him bleed but not getting what he wanted in return, so finally he let up. Slowly, he loosened up. He stopped growling at him when he got too close, instead he started scooting closer to Jeongguk and began responding to whatever the alpha was saying instead of just scowling at him. It was a painfully slow process, but Jeongguk wouldn't have it any other way.

It was easier when they were younger. It was so much easier to talk to Jimin, to get him to listen. Right now, Jeongguk thought that the Jimin who was closed-off and pushed everyone away when they were kids was back. It made Jeongguk wonder if that part of him had ever truly left, or if Jimin had simply allowed him a peek and Jeongguk mistook it for Jimin really opening up and letting him in. 

Jeongguk wiped the tears that fell from the corner of his eyes. He only wanted to love Jimin, he wanted him to let him in, but Jimin was so closed off. It was exhausting to keep trying to tear down the walls Jimin had built up against his own heart. 

He had endured humiliation and pain every time he had confessed to Jimin. He had tried to express his sincerity, the truthfulness of his feelings, only for Jimin to laugh at him and reject him over and over, and he was so worn out now.

However, he didn't want to give up. Not yet.

— 

They didn't talk for a whole week. Jimin didn't seem affected, he looked as composed as ever as he tended to his duties, having the best time with his acquaintances —like Jimin called them.

Jimin had also gotten too close to some alphas and it made Jeongguk feel weirdly possessive. There was this urge to jump at them and rip their throats out but he managed to tame it down. Jimin wasn’t his and he had to remember that.

Jimin was so unaffected it felt like another punch to Jeongguk's face. 

—

Mating season was near and alphas, betas, and omegas alike were busy preparing for this annual tradition, where they would present a gift to their chosen one. The goal was to show their intention to court one another, so everyone aimed for their gift to be accepted by their potential mates. 

Mating season was beginning next week, Jeongguk belatedly realized, and he regretted opening his mouth more than ever. If he had been more patient and had waited a little longer to tell Jimin everything—even though he'd heard it many times—maybe there would have been a chance for him. Perhaps, Jimin would finally change his mind. 

Jeongguk most likely blew that chance off. 

Still, he wasn't deterred. He was persistent and he was going to try and pursue Jimin hoping that this time it would be different. 

Since he had reached his 20th summer and had become eligible to join the mating season for the last three years, Jeongguk had been offering Jimin a gift each year. From jewelry, to clothing, to fresh-killed prey that he had caught himself. He wanted to show Jimin that he was worthy of being his alpha, that he could provide. 

Jimin never accepted any of them though. Jeongguk didn't take it to heart and he kept trying each year. 

This time, he decided to go with something more...traditional. He had been weaving a blanket for a couple of weeks. It should have taken him only a few days to a week if he had been skilled, but well, he wasn’t. His respect for those who knew how to weave skyrocketed. 

It was a simple blanket with an ashy color, reminiscent of Jimin's eyes and hair color. No intricate patterns or designs, he wasn't at that level yet. His friends had offered him their help to weave it for him, but he wanted to give Jimin something that he had made himself. Always wanted nothing but to be genuine. Jeongguk believed that Jimin was going to like it, he used to have a blanket that he couldn't sleep without, it was old and worn out and Jimin probably would accept this as a substitute.

Hopefully, he would. 

—

Everyone was allowed to offer their gifts however and wherever they wanted, whether on mating grounds in front of everyone or in private. 

Jeongguk always went with the latter. Jimin had always hated anything grand, especially declarations of love to impress him. So Jeongguk waited until the sun went down and made his way to Jimin's chamber. 

His body was thrumming with nerves, his palms were clammy and his ears were buzzing. He knocked. Once, twice, thrice. When Jimin tugged the door open, Jeongguk felt like he was going to throw up. He was so nervous. He hoped he was able to conceal it well. 

Jimin was looking at him with a look in his face that could only be annoyance, and well, exhaustion. It squeezed at his heart.

"Hi," he stammered, holding onto the blanket tightly.

"What are you doing here?" Jimin glared, jaw clenched like he was trying not to lose his temper, looking very much aware as to why Jeongguk was here.

"It's mating season."

"And?" Jimin raised a brow, looking so bored, and wholly uninterested. 

"I—" Jeongguk stopped himself short, not wanting to stumble over his words and sound any more pathetic. He bit his lower lip, giving himself time to gather his thoughts. "I lo—I mean I like you and I'm—I made this blanket myself," he jerked his hand forward to give the blanket to him which Jimin only looked at blankly. "And...and I want to offer it to you as a gift. I want to court you." He bit his lip harder, so much for not wanting to stutter. So stupid.

Jimin leaned back and let his hold on the knob go, the hinge of the door creaking as it opened wider but still not letting Jeongguk in. Jimin crossed his arms over his chest.

"No." 

"W-What?"

"I won't accept it."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to."

Jeongguk's shoulders slumped forward. He knew he shouldn't ask, it was dumb, but—

"Did you—did you accept...someone else's gift?" 

"If I did, that's none of your business."

"Right. I'm—"

"When are you going to stop doing this?" He said, repeating Jeongguk's own words back to him. 

Jeongguk blinked. "What do you mean?"

Jimin huffed. "You know, bothering me every year, bringing me your stupid gifts when you know I'm going to turn you down anyway." 

The words hit him like a bucket of cold water. They were harsh, and they cut through Jeongguk's chest, making it a little harder to breathe. 

Stupid gifts.

Jeongguk's grip on the poor blanket loosened, he suddenly couldn't feel his hands. 

"I...I was hoping you'd finally give me a chance." He spoke slowly, afraid his voice would break, giving himself time to calm his thundering heart. "I really like you," he said, as if it ever mattered. 

And there it was again, the unconcealed anger overtaking Jimin's features. His eyebrows were drawn together, his pretty lips curled down into a frown, his silver eyes cold and unforgiving. The sudden shift in his mood made Jeongguk flinch.

"How many fucking times do I have to turn you down and tell you that I don't want to be with you —that I don't want to be your fucking mate for you to finally understand? Why won't you just leave me the fuck alone?" Jimin snapped, his face was red with anger but his voice was shaky and his eyes were shiny. 

And it was unfair. He shouldn't look so hurt when he was the one saying those words and hurting Jeongguk.

"I—" Jeongguk dug his fingers into the fabric of the blanket until his knuckles turned white. 

"Did you ever stop and think about how uncomfortable this has been for me? How fucking annoying it is to have some alpha coming at your door every fucking year to tell you he wants to court you when you clearly said no ?" Jimin spoke through gritted teeth. "Oh, just in case you still don't get it. I don't like you. I don't want to be with you, nor do I want to be your mate. So please, please , just—fucking stop already." 

All this time Jeongguk had been convinced that Jimin was only rejecting him because he was scared, and he wasn't ready. But he clearly got way too ahead of himself, he shouldn't have assumed anything. Jimin had simply said no because he didn't feel anything for Jeongguk. 

Jimin thought he was stupid and annoying. A pathetic excuse of an alpha. 

He never took the hurtful words Jimin carelessly threw at him seriously because he grew alongside the omega and he knew how guarded he was. That was his default defense mechanism: hurt people, push them away before they hurt him instead. 

But even Jeongguk had his limits, and he was never the tough type, he was only good at pretending he was one. 

He stood there silently for a while, staring down at his feet. His hands had fallen limp to his sides, but he still had enough strength in his body to clutch at the blanket. He hadn't realized he had been crying until he spoke and his voice sounded watery.

"I thought…I—" 

"What? You thought just because I let you fuck me it means I love you? It's your fault for letting your pathetic little crush foster." Jimin spat out. "Please, leave ." He gestured his hands towards the door..

Jeongguk could feel all the tenacity leaving his body. He nodded, more to himself than Jimin.

"I—I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...to make you uncomfortable, that wasn't my intention. I'm so sorry, I'm so stupid. I get it now, I'm sorry. You shouldn't have to repeat yourself. I should've stopped at the first no. I just—I'm sorry. I swear this is the last time, y-you won't hear from me again. I'm really sorry." Jeongguk sniffled, he couldn't bring himself to lift his head up. He was ashamed, humiliated, and rejected for who knows how many times now. He was hurting.

He could hear Jimin breathe in and out, but other than that he said nothing, which was better, Jeongguk supposed. He didn't think he could take any more hurt. He brought his hand up to wipe the tears away from his face, which was useless because they were only quickly replaced with new ones.

Jeongguk must look so pathetic right now. 

He turned around, left, and never looked back.

—

Jeongguk gave himself a night to howl in sadness. He cried for his stupidity, for thinking that there was a small chance Jimin felt the same. He cried for having ruined whatever he and Jimin had had. Before, he at least had him in a way, but now there was nothing. 

Jimin didn't want to have to do anything with him, he made that very clear. It was his fault for being so stubborn that he had overlooked that Jimin might have been uncomfortable, that Jimin didn't want him. He should've been more considerate, should've been less selfish.

He cried for Jimin and his brutal words, which kept ringing in his head. 

Stupid gifts. 

I don't like you.

I don't want to be with you.

I don't want to be your mate.

He cried his eyes out and the next day, he started moving on. 

—

Trying to move on wasn't easy. Wherever he would go, he was reminded of Jimin. Whenever he closed his eyes, he'd see the way Jimin's eyes lit up whenever he smiled, however rarely. The way he would throw his head back, cover his mouth with his small hands. Most of the time, the force of his laugh was so strong his body would fall against his own. Jeongguk was so endeared.

Moving on was hard because whenever he was alone, all he could hear was Jimin's soft and a bit high-pitched voice when he'd told him how handsome he was, how much he had made him feel, how well he had taken care of him, how good he had been to him. Whispering sweet nothings against his ears, Jeongguk almost believed them. 

Oh was it hard to move on from someone you'd loved for so long and spent every moment of the day with. To have them there all the time only to be gone so soon. He felt like he was going to lose his mind, but he had to get a move on in his life. 

—

Heekyung was a nice omega. 

He was soft-spoken, a little shy, but he smiled a lot . Even Jeongguk couldn't deny that he had a sweet smile, the kind that made you want to smile with them. 

It was a stark contrast to what he was used to.

Jeongguk was aware about Heekyung's feelings for him, and had known for a while now. That was why when the omega handed him a courting gift, he hadn't been able to refuse. He didn't want to waste Heekyung's time and effort on making it—a coat made out of rabbit pelt. Jeongguk was impressed, and thanked Heekyung many times which made the omega blush. However, he also didn't have the heart to lead him on. He had told him that he couldn't offer anything other than just being friends, at least for now. 

Heekyung had taken it really well, he had smiled at him and it had been a genuine one. Heekyung said he'd be happy to be friends with him, that he could wait until Jeongguk was ready, and Jeongguk appreciated that.

They had been hanging out since then. Jeongguk genuinely enjoyed Heekyung's company. Once the omega had grown comfortable enough, Jeongguk discovered how talkative he could be, and it was nice to have someone who was full of stories to tell, with an ever-present glint in their eyes. It was contagious, and made Jeongguk happy too.

Although he couldn’t deny he kept on thinking about a silver colored omega, he began feeling as if he could finally move on and maybe even like Heekyung.

—

“What’s going on with you and Jimin?” Taehyung had asked one morning, still all sweaty from training.

The question made Jeongguk tense up. “What do you mean?” 

Taehyung gave him the you-know-what-I-mean look before rolling his eyes and saying, “For starters, you’re not talking to each other. Also, you’re avoiding each other like the plague,” he eyed Jeongguk for a second, hesitating before finally saying, “And well, he doesn’t smell like you anymore.”

Jeongguk snapped his head at him, shooting him a glare. “What?”

“What do you mean what ? He smells like you—no let me correct that. You smell like each other all the damn time, and now you don’t, which means that you also haven’t been fu—” 

“Tae!” Jeongguk raised his voice, scandalized. He wasn’t a prude per se, but he didn’t really enjoy broadcasting his sex life.

“Alright, alright. I’m sorry.” Taehyung giggled. “So, are you going to tell me what happened?”

“There’s nothing to tell, nothing happened.” Jeongguk avoided Taehyung’s eyes, downing the rest of the drink from his waterskin. 

“You think I’ll believe that?” 

“Fuck off, Tae, I don’t want to talk about it.” Jeongguk said, but there was no bite to it.

“Jimin’s been moping around all week.” Taehyung said matter-of-factly. 

Jeongguk couldn’t help but laugh at that, albeit humorless. “Yeah?” He found it hard to believe that Jimin would be moping around after he had rejected him and said all those mean words to him. Although it wasn’t the first time he’d done it.

Taehyung frowned at him, a rare sight from the omega who was all smiles and sunshine. “Yeah.” And the omega waited quietly.

“He rejected me...again. He s-said—he…” Jeongguk paused, starting to feel emotional. “This is what he wanted.”

“Whatever he said, it was not his intention. Jimin he—he says awful things and he’s really fucking cruel when he wants someone to think he really is, but you know he doesn’t mean any of it. He feels guilty about it, he’s probably drowning in self-loathing as we speak. Believe me, he didn’t mean it. You know him better than anyone.” Taehyung almost sounded like he was pleading, eyes wide, brows furrowed. He had a point, but Jeonguk was still too hurt to try to be reasonable.

“I—I don’t know anymore, Tae. I just—” Jeongguk sighed. “I don’t think I can bear to talk to him right now. Not like he’d want me to.” He said dejectedly. There it was again, that painful tug in his chest.

Taehyung’s shoulders sagged, nodding in understanding. He put a hand on Jeongguk’s neck and started stroking his hair. Jeongguk felt himself immediately relaxing. 

“Just know he didn’t mean it.” Taehyung said once more, hoping Jeongguk would believe the honesty in his words.

—

A neighboring kingdom was going to visit theirs, something that happened often. It was a way of building good and reliable relationships with other kingdoms, creating alliances but also friends. Visitors also meant a huge mess to clean up after though, and sometimes the trainees were in charge of it, like right now. 

Jeongguk wasn't really a fan of cleaning, he felt like he was just making everything a lot messier, but according to Heekyung he was doing a great job, a compliment to which Jeongguk beamed. 

They had been assigned to the kitchen, which was normally the caretakers' job, but on occasions like this one, trainees were given the task to learn that all duties matter and also for the expansion of their knowledge and abilities.

Heekyung immediately started on the mountain-like stack of dishes in the stone trough. Jeongguk saw the omega deflated. Well, damn, those are a lot to clean. 

"Don't worry, I'll help you out," Jeongguk said.

Heekyung gazed up at him, a shy smile on his face. "Really? How?" 

Jeongguk, who had just washed his hands, flicked the excess water off on Heekyung's face. The omega squeaked in response before almost falling over with laughter. Heekyung's laugh had always been a little infectious so Jeongguk couldn't help but laugh himself. 

"You're going to pay for that!" Heekyung said, looking not very threatening.

Jeongguk raised his eyebrows at him, in a daring way, making Heekyung giggle louder. He was still laughing, about to start arranging the stacks of the dishes to make the work easier for the omega when a familiar voice echoed in the room. Jeongguk's face fell.

"Hi. We were assigned here too." Jimin said, standing in the doorway with two alphas and two other omegas. 

"Alright, let's get started!" Heekyung cheered, as energetic as ever, unaware of the tension looming around them. 

Jeongguk just shrugged.

He hadn't seen Jimin in almost three weeks. They saw each other at the training grounds every day but it wasn't like they talked . It was okay, it was so much better this way. 

They all proceeded with their tasks. Jeongguk and Heekyung with all the dishes, the other two alphas claimed the spot of cleaning the floor. While Jimin and the other two omegas cleaned the huge ass dining tables. They were all busy with their own tasks, and it was overall pleasant, except for the stare that kept digging holes in the back of Jeongguk's head. He ignored it and paid more attention to another of Heekyung's childhood stories.

—

They were done before they knew it. Heekyung groaned, stretching his back that was aching from crouching too much. Jeongguk patted his lower back and began with a soft massage which made the omega whine in satisfaction. 

"You did well, you have a knack for washing dishes," Jeongguk jested, sarcastically but empathetic at the same time.

"Stop," Heekyung whined, a smile pulling at his lips. 

Jeongguk grinned. "Let's go." 

Before he could leave, however— "Jeongguk!"

Jeongguk ignored it and continued walking to the door. He didn't want to deal with him right now. Heekyung looked at him, brows furrowed in confusion. 

"I think someone's calling for you," he whispered. 

"Don't mind them." 

They kept walking and then Jeongguk heard hurried footsteps approaching them. He grabbed Heekyung's hand and walked faster. 

Jeongguk stopped when a hand grabbed around his forearm. He didn't turn around, yanked his arm instead, but Jimin only held on tighter. 

"Uh, I think I should go. I'll see you later, Kook!" Heekyung said, having obviously sensed the tension, and waved his goodbye, still smiling at Jeongguk. 

With a sigh, Jeongguk turned around, and maybe he shouldn't have done that because now his heart was thumping hard against his chest. He willed it to calm down, annoyed with himself. 

For a few minutes, they just stood there with Jimin's cold hands tightly wrapped around his forearm while Jeongguk kept looking everywhere but at him. After not being this close to him for so long, Jimin's scent was making his head spin. 

"Let's talk," Jimin said, chewing on his lips. 

Jeongguk yanked his arm from Jimin's hand. "I don't think there's anything to talk about. You made yourself pretty clear." 

Jimin flinched. "I'm sorry. What I said was—I'm terribly sorry. I—let me explain."

"You had all the time to reach out to me, but you didn't. I'm not really interested in what you have to say now." 

Jeongguk wasn't doing it to be difficult, he wasn't doing it to get back at Jimin. He was just...tired. Whatever Jimin had to say, Jeongguk doubted it would change anything. 

So, he left, ignoring Jimin's cry for his name.

—

Jimin tried to talk to him several times after that but Jeongguk kept ignoring him. He made sure they wouldn't be in the same place at the same time, which was proving to be difficult. It seemed as if Jimin was actively trying to seek for him now. 

Whenever Jimin would come to him he'd immediately leave, not wanting to think too much of the barely concealed hurt flashing across Jimin's face. He went out of his way to avoid Jimin. He went as far as ditching their group and eating at a different table during meal times. 

Jeongguk had started sitting with Heekyung during meal time. They drew a lot of attention at first considering they were an unusual pair. There were already rumors that they were together and were going to mate, to which the two of them only laughed at. 

If his friends were offended they hadn't said anything, for now at least. Jeongguk had a feeling his friends had an idea of what had happened and that was the only reason they were letting him be. He was grateful to them for giving him space.

—

Jeongguk had just finished his bath, feeling refreshed and finally clean after washing off the sweat he accumulated throughout the day with training and completing his duties. Exhaustion was finally catching up to him and he was so ready to sleep. He was about to dive under his covers when there was a knock on his door. 

Jeongguk frowned, who could be visiting him at this hour? But then that familiar flowery scent hit his nose. 

Jeongguk stayed on his bed. Maybe if he pretended to be asleep, Jimin would leave. But then again, the lamp in his room was still on, illuminating the whole room, and Jimin could probably see that through the door.

Another knock. "I know you're in there. I can smell you," Jimin said, voice muffled through the door. "Open the door...please." 

Jeongguk pinched the bridge of his nose, breathing deeply before heading towards the door and tugging it open. 

Jimin's eyes widened when he saw Jeongguk had opened the door, not expecting him to. He was already in his sleepwear, his hair all mussed up, indicating he had probably decided to go there last minute. Jeongguk thought he looked effortlessly beautiful. He hated himself more for acknowledging that.

"Hey," Jimin said, offering a smile. It was strained, undeniably fake. He'd never seen the omega look so nervous. "Thank you."

Jeongguk didn't speak, he just stood there looking at Jimin and he realized that his hands were hidden behind his back. Jimin was shifting his weight from one foot to the other, biting on his lower lip. 

"Can I come in?" Jimin looked up at him with hopeful eyes. Jeongguk opened the door wider, stepped to the side, inviting him in. Weak .

"Why are you here? It's late." Jeongguk closed the door behind him and walked over to where Jimin was standing beside his bed, hands still behind his back. 

Their eyes met for a small moment but Jimin glanced down again, unable to hold his gaze. "I want to talk to you." 

Jeongguk almost told him to leave but caught himself at the last second. He thought it would be better to give Jimin what he wanted, let him talk, and then maybe he'd finally stop and leave him alone. Then maybe they could both move on.

"Hurry. I want to sleep." 

Jimin nodded nervously, looking at Jeongguk's face and then quickly dropping his gaze. He was quiet for a few minutes, eyes focused on the floor. Jeongguk waited, he was good at that. 

"I'm sorry," Jimin started, looking back up at him, holding his gaze this time. "What I said was—it was out of line. I was unnecessarily harsh and mean to you. I'm sorry. I—I didn't…" he trailed off, looking at the ground again, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "I didn't mean what I said I just... fuck ." He mumbled the last word, frustrated at himself. 

Jeongguk gave him time, and waited for him to talk again.

"I didn't mean anything that I said. I lied. I...I lied when I said I don't like you. I lied when I said I don't want to be with you. I lied when I said I don't want to be your mate. Jeongguk, I lied," he said, voice thick with emotions.

Jimin went silent again after that. He looked up once more, searching for Jeongguk's eyes, waiting for the alpha to say something. Jeongguk didn't, just looked back at him, trying to remain as unaffected as possible. 

"I think...I think I love you," Jimin choked out, breathing out a sigh after that, making it appear like it was the hardest thing to say, but honestly the omega couldn't be more relieved of finally saying those words. "I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm really sorry. I'm...I'm just not good at this. It scares me that I feel this way, a-and that's no excuse for me to have said such nasty words to you, it is no excuse for having hurt you the way I did, b-but I just want you to know that this is hard for me too. I—I don't know how to do this." 

Jeongguk's heart skipped a beat, couldn’t lie to himself and pretend he wasn’t surprised at Jimin's revelation. However, he couldn't even get himself to feel happy or excited about it, he was just so tired of hopelessly waiting for someone only to have his heart shattered to pieces. 

"I don't know why you're suddenly telling me all this," was Jeongguk's response. He laughed in disbelief. 

"I've felt this way for a while and I—I ignored it. I told myself repeatedly that I didn't actually feel this way, hoping that it was actually true, but I could only lie to myself for so long. I've been wanting to tell you for a long time. I just...I didn't know how to. Telling you meant accepting it as the truth and I didn't know how to feel about that, I just didn’t want to feel the pain and fear of having someone to love and to lose...again. It's hard for me to accept that someone can actually love me and be so good to me—"

"So you hurt me instead because you knew I would take it? 'Cause you know no matter what you said or did, I'd come running to you as soon as you called me, you knew I'd still love you no matter what so you chose to hurt me." Jeongguk said, his hands shaking. 

"No! That's not true, Jeongguk, please—" Jimin’s voice broke.

"Isn’t the only reason you're here because I'm no longer chasing you so desperately? Does that hurt your pride? Your ego?" Jeongguk raised his voice, getting more angry with each passing second.

Jeongguk expected Jimin to snarl at him, punch him in the face, or maybe tackle him into the ground and give him a good beating just like how he'd usually do when someone dared raise their voice at him, but Jimin just...flinched. He looked so small, like he’d break any second. Jeongguk’s chest twinged with guilt.

Jimin shook his head and inhaled, trying to regain composure. "No, that's not true. I'm here to tell you how I feel, I'm sorry I took so long I—" He paused and removed his hands that had been hidden behind his back and held out a...box. "Here." 

Jeongguk didn't take the box, he just looked at it, chest still heaving from his outburst. 

When Jeongguk kept looking at the box, Jimin hurried to explain, "This box has all the gifts I wanted to give you during mating seasons for the past few years. I…I didn't have the courage to give them to you back then, but I kept them until I finally did."

The omega paused for a breather, overwhelmed by his own emotions. He couldn't believe he was finally saying everything he truly felt. He had sworn he would never act upon his feelings and would ignore them until they would fade away, but perhaps what he felt for the alpha was stronger than his fear. He couldn't bear to lose him, but if Jeongguk didn't want him after this, he'd understand, at least he would’ve tried.

"Jeongguk…I—I like you. No, I..I love you. I want to be with you, a-and I want to be your mate. I want you to be my mate."

Jeongguk couldn't believe what he was hearing as it was the exact opposite of what he had been hearing for years. Jeongguk had no idea what to say, he kept his mouth shut. 

"I'm scared out of my mind, b-but I want to try. I want to be with you Jeongguk, so badly. Would you please give me another chance? Please?" 

Jimin looked at him expectantly with wide eyes, holding the box out once more, but Jeongguk only glanced at it and then stared at Jimin with a frown. Jimin's lips quivered and he looked so hurt it squeezed at his chest. Jeongguk averted his eyes, hoping it would make it hurt a little less.

The omega didn't speak anymore, and he was frozen from where he was standing for a while. Jeongguk looked back at him and—

Jimin was hastily drying the tears from his eyes, quickly turning around when he noticed Jeongguk staring at him. "I'll just leave this here, I—" he paused when a choked noise got caught in his throat. "I'm sorry for springing all of this on you." 

Jeongguk was at a complete loss, he’d never seen Jimin cry. But instead of doing anything, he just watched as Jimin crouched down, placed the box on the floor and left, tears spilling from his eyes when he heard Jimin's stifled sobs behind his door. 

—

Jeongguk hadn't been able to stop thinking about Jimin since that night. He hadn't been able to stop remembering the tears in his eyes. He hadn't been able to put out of his mind the way he bared his heart to Jeongguk, and how he was unable to correspond. 

After Jimin left his room he'd tried to sleep, but it had been a futile attempt, so Jeongguk ended up opening the box with gifts. It was obviously old, with its paper already soft and wrinkled, but it appeared like it had been well taken care of. Inside the box was a blue blanket, a coat made of a bear's pelt, a pair of black sandals, a long, beautifully knitted tunic, and two hunting knives. All things that matched Jeongguk’s style and likings. 

The alpha considered the possibility of Jimin lying about it, he could've simply made all of this at once and put them inside the box. 

But they were already dusty, the knives even becoming rusted, and the clothing smelled strongly of Jimin’s scent, a sign that they'd been kept for a long time.

Six gifts inside the box. 

Jimin was two years older than him, so he became eligible for mating seasons two years earlier than him. Had he prepared gifts for Jeongguk even when he knew he couldn't give them to him yet? Had he been preparing gifts for him every year? Had he been waiting for him all this time?

Jeongguk cried himself to sleep that night.

—

He didn't see Jimin after that night for two whole weeks. He wasn't sure if they just kept on missing each other or if Jimin was avoiding him because he couldn't see him anywhere. Nevertheless, he began to grow worried for the omega, but he kept it down. Jimin was fine. If he wasn't, Jeongguk would've been informed immediately. 

He still had no idea what to make of the situation, or what to do with their conversation from that night, but Jeongguk still wanted to talk to Jimin, he just didn't know how to reach out to him, afraid he’d get pushed away and hurt again.

Despite this, he continued with his life and tried not to think about it as much. He knew how much it hurt and thought that Jimin probably just needed some time, just as he did.

—

Jeongguk had told Heekyung about what had happened with Jimin, and it had been surprisingly easy and comforting to talk to him about it. Jeongguk thought it would be awkward between them considering Heekyung's feelings for him, but the omega had been nothing but kind and sympathetic, offering him the comfort he didn't know he needed. He cheered him on too, told him they would work it out and it'd all be alright. Heekyung knew that besides it all, they had been friends and losing one made them miserable, so he empathized.

Right now, the two of them were in his chamber, peacefully sitting on the floor as he taught the omega how to draw. It was his way of paying Heekyung back for always listening to him, that as well as personally cooking him a meal the other day. When Jeongguk suggested it, Heekyung had been surprised but also over the moon. The omega had no idea he knew how to draw. No one did, except—

Anyway, Jeongguk decided to teach Heekyung the basics first because, well, everyone had to start somewhere. Heekyung was surprisingly really good at following Jeongguk's instructions and an hour or so later, he had managed to draw a simple but beautiful tree and a rose on Jeongguk's sketchpad. 

"Are you sure you don't know how to draw?" Jeongguk asked.

"Yes, why?" Heekyung replied, wide-eyed. 

"These are really good!" Jeongguk praised, smiling wide.

Heekyung squirmed excitedly. "You think so?"

"Definitely so much better than what someone who doesn't know how to draw can do." Jeongguk looked at the drawings again and well, they were good. 

Jeongguk reached out and ruffled Heekyung's hair affectionately. The omega flinched, not expecting the contact, but melted into it anyway, pink dusting his cheeks.

In that exact moment, the room to his chamber was slammed open, hitting the wall with a loud thud. Heekyung screamed in surprise and moved back. Jeongguk, however, was quick to get all defensive and look for any sign of threat.

There was none.

There was, however, Jimin standing in the doorway. 

"Jimin, what the fuck? Can't you knock?"

Jimin didn't answer, only deeply breathing in, his rising and lowering shoulders being a clear indication of it. Jeongguk realized in shock that Jimin's scent was relatively sweeter and more pungent than natural, his silver eyes were gleaming dangerously, and his chest was heaving. He was glaring directly at Heekyung, a low growl rumbling in his chest. He looked like he was ready to attack.

Jeongguk hurriedly pulled Heekyung and put him behind him, at this Jimin only growled louder and moved his gaze to the arm where Jeongguk was holding Heekyung. "Calm down, Jimin." 

Jimin wasn't listening, it didn't seem like he was in the right mind to do so. He was feral, eyes unfocused and fists tightly clenched. 

He kept inching closer, circling around them predatorily. In the next second, Jimin was pouncing at Heekyung, but thank goodness the other omega was behind Jeongguk and he covered him with his body. Jeongguk quickly grabbed Jimin and held him bodily, both arms wrapped around his arms as he tried to hold and stop him, the omega struggled in his hold as he tried to reach Heekyung with his claws. Thankfully, he was able to prevent him from attacking Heekyung who was frozen in place behind him, but the omega was still strongly struggling in his hold, snapping his teeth at the frightened omega behind him. 

"Heekyung, you should leave." Jeongguk said, seeing as Jimin wasn’t calming down at all.

Heekyung seemed to unfreeze at his words. He nodded, and dashed out of the room. 

Even after Heekyung had left, Jimin still hadn't calmed down, whining, growling, and thrashing in Jeongguk’s hold. Jeongguk was at a loss of what to do until he remembered. Jimin could curse at him for it later, but for now this was the only thing he could think of doing.

Jeongguk pressed his nose into Jimin's neck, rubbing it up and down against his scent gland, breathing in his sweet lavender scent. Jimin immediately went lax in his hold. Jeongguk continued with his ministration along with rubbing soothing circles on Jimin's back, feeling himself go lightheaded. He had never scented Jimin. The omega wrapped his hands around Jeongguk's middle and buried his face in his neck, rubbing his nose insistently while softly whining. 

"You smell like him, don't like it, hate it," Jimin whined, his clutch on Jeongguk's waist tightening, his hands harshly pulling on Jeongguk’s shirt, trying to get more of his neck and collarbone exposed so he could mark more of Jeongguk’s skin. 

Jeongguk swallowed the lump past his throat and shivered. He then walked to the bed and slowly tried to put Jimin down on the bed, but he only clung onto him harder. 

"No! Please, d-don't go," he shook his head vehemently, still clearly out of it, and only when Jeongguk looked down at him did he realize that there were tears rolling down Jimin's face. 

Jeongguk's heart broke and his eyes burned with tears at seeing Jimin in such distress. The last time he saw Jimin cry was when he had begged to be freed from his past abusers. He had never seen Jimin like this without his guard high up. He was now fully exposed, vulnerable. 

Jeongguk moved them both to lay on the bed and the omega took that opportunity to turn him around and climb onto his lap, wrap his arms around the alpha's neck and bury his nose in the crook of Jeongguk's neck. Jeongguk's arms instinctively draped around his waist, holding him protectively.

"Why was that o-omega here in your…y-your room? I hate it, i-it hurts," Jimin sobbed, purposefully trying to get even closer to Jeongguk and press their chests together, clawing at his back. "Can it be me a-again? Please let it b-be me again. So sorry." 

In lieu of an answer, Jeongguk held him tighter, unconsciously digging his fingers into his waist. Jimin pressed himself closer to him, Jeongguk's face brushing against Jimin's soft silver hair and Jimin whimpered, instinctively reacting to this as he buried his face in Jeongguk's neck even more, wetting it with tears in the process.

"L-Love you, I do. Promise, I do. Sorry, 'm an asshole, I’m sorry. Don't ignore me. Don't leave me, please. Sorry." 

Jimin kept crying and Jeongguk let him, he must’ve needed it. 

However, mid sob, Jimin suddenly went totally limp in his hold. 

—

"He's dehydrated and awfully stressed out, I don't think he's been eating well either, hence why he fainted. His aggressive behavior was highly likely because of his preheat. He has been feeling this way for a long time, but his preheat just intensified everything and made him act on it. Jimin's omega probably recognized you as its mate, and seeing and smelling that omega on you, made him snap. That explains why he tried to attack your friend." The healer explained. 

Jeongguk nodded, heart twisting painfully. 

He had immediately called for help when Jimin suddenly collapsed in his hold, thankfully it was nothing serious. He was slightly relieved, but the heaviness in his chest was still there. 

Jimin was in preheat, the increased sweetness of his scent and his unusually aggressive behavior now made so much sense. 

"Is he going to be okay?" Jeongguk asked nervously, squeezing Jimin's hands that were in his. Jimin refused to let go even in his sleep.

"Yes, my dear, you have nothing to worry about. He just needs some rest, lots of fluids and he'll be fine." The healer assured him. "I'll take my leave now."

Jeongguk nodded. "Thank you so much. I'll look after him."

The healer smiled and then left. Jeongguk could do nothing but stare at the omega’s peaceful sleeping face.

"He's been punishing himself for what happened between you two by not eating. I don't think he's been sleeping well." Taehyung spoke up, Jeongguk almost forgot he was there.

"What? And you didn't try to stop him?” Jeongguk snapped.

"Of course I did! But you know damn well he doesn't listen. You know how fucking stubborn he is. He's probably lied to me every time he's said he's eaten. When I called him out on it he almost attacked me. What was I supposed to do?" Taehyung yelled back, equally frustrated. He wiped away tears from his face and Jeongguk felt so guilty.

"I'm sorry, I'm just stressed. It was wrong of me to take it out on you."

Taehyung reached out and patted him on the back. "I know, it's okay."

"I'm still sorry," Jeongguk said. "I just, I don't know what to do. He was crying, he looked like he was in so much pain, and he was begging me to—he—" he choked on his tears, his shoulders shaking as he cried, no longer able to hold it in. "He was in so much pain. I did that to him." 

"Hey, hey. It's not your fault, okay? You didn't know." Taehyung said, trying to appease him but it only made him cry harder. "You'll talk it out when he wakes up, alright? You two need to talk." 

Jeongguk sniffled. "Yeah, okay." 

—

He hadn't realized he had fallen asleep until he was woken up by something brushing against his cheek. He blinked one of his eyes open, eyelids still feeling heavy. 

Jimin. 

Jimin was gently stroking his cheeks with his fingers, and the gesture was so sweet and intimate it made Jeongguk's heart melt.

"Hi. You're up," Jeongguk rasped. Jimin jumped and pulled away when he heard him. 

"Yeah." Jimin avoided his eyes, cheeks turning a lovely shade of red, seemingly embarrassed and ashamed. 

"Hey, it's okay." Jeongguk reached for Jimin's hands and squeezed them reassuringly. That seemed to have done it, Jimin lifted his head and looked at him with watery eyes, and Jeongguk didn't think he'd ever get used to that. He didn't think Jimin crying would ever not break his heart. "I'm here," he whispered.

Jimin's lips immediately wobbled. "I'm so sorry." 

"It's okay—"

"It's not I—I hurt you so much. I'm such a dick, and then I have the audacity to come barging into your room and attack an omega you're with. He's—he's probably so much better than I am, he’s really pretty and...and you probably don't even like me anymore.” Jimin wiped at his tears. “I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm sorry, I'm such a mess—" 

And Jeongguk forgot everything at that moment. All the harsh words, all the punches thrown at him (literally and metaphorically), all the tears he had cried, and all the moments he had wished he could love anyone other than the silver eyed omega, so Jeongguk pulled him into a kiss. 

Jeongguk was kissing him. 

Jimin squeaked in surprise, but he immediately melted into the kiss. It was gentler and much more intimate than any of the ones they had shared before. It was sweet, and also a little salty with their tears mixed in. Their lips moved against each other languidly, slotting so perfectly together. Jimin sighed into the kiss. Jeongguk let out a breathy moan when Jimin tugged on his lower lip, but he pulled away before it could get any further. 

"My feelings haven't changed for you Jimin. I don't think they ever will, not even if I wanted." Jeongguk said against Jimin's red and kiss-swollen mouth, their foreheads pressed together. 

Fresh tears slipped out of Jimin's eyes. "Really?" he said, sounding so insecure. 

"Really. I've been in love with you ever since I can remember. I don't think that's going to change." He leaned in and kissed Jimin chastely. 

Jimin seemed extremely delighted, his scent growing even stronger, sweeter, as he smiled against Jeongguk’s lips.

"You have such a bad taste in omegas," Jimin tried to jest, but his shoulders still shook from the aftershocks of crying, head falling forward and onto Jeongguk's shoulder.

Jeongguk let out a watery laugh. "Have you seen yourself Jimin? Gods." 

"I love you. I'm so sorry for taking so long." Jimin wrapped his arms around Jeongguk’s neck with a force Jeongguk wasn't ready for, sending them tumbling down on the bed with Jimin on top of him. 

"It's okay, you're here now," he said, sliding a hand around Jimin's waist. 

"Tell me you love me too, please." Jimin's eyes were wide, glassed over, and so so pretty

"I love you, too. I always have." Jeongguk's voice wavered, pulling Jimin closer.

"Thank you for loving me, and putting up with all my bullshit. I'm going to make it up to you." Jimin kissed Jeongguk's scent gland and Jeongguk had to suppress a groan. "We're going to have a long talk."

"Yes, we're going to have to talk. Properly." Jeongguk replied, but he could only stare at Jimin’s lips, he flashed one look at Jimin’s eyes and saw how they were already glued to Jeongguk’s. 

Jeongguk doesn’t know who moved first but once again they were kissing, enjoying the moment and hoping it would last forever. 

“Talk later?” Jeongguk asked between kisses.

“Of course. We’ve got all the time in the world.” Jimin replied against his lips. 

And Jimin smiled, a wide genuine one, with his guard down and his heart bared on his sleeve.

With Jeongguk next to him, Jimin had not much to be afraid of anymore.