Chapter Text
And when the samba played,
the sun would set so high,
ring through my ears and sting my eyes,
your Spanish lullaby.
The music drowns out; you step down from the stage and leave the microphone. You start to wonder how this place is still in business, there is hardly ever a crowd anymore, not that you blame people this is the rough end of town now. You know this place will be closing soon and you hardly make above minimum wage, no one wants lounge singers anymore, they have dj’s now. You can’t stand clubs for the most part.
“You were amazing tonight Carmilla” one of the few people that actually come here anymore say to you as you pass by. “Thanks” you return with a small smile. You go to the back so you can retrieve your jacket and purse there is a loud booming in the walls… a new club just opened up next door, you heard the waitresses talking about it earlier. Passion, who names a club that? They have been here all of two weeks and you’re pretty sure that they’re stealing the rest of your very few customers. Its 11 pm, you should just go straight home it’s late and not really safe at this time of night. You look down at yourself; a tight black lace dress clings to every curve of your body. Fuck it, you think to yourself. You want to see what is so fucking great about this club that everyone talks about.
You arrive at the bar; it looks like a normal bar. A bunch of girls that forget what clothes are grinding all over men getting aroused by a second, before you realize it your nose is scrunched up in disgust of this place, until you feel a hand on your arm moving you over to the side. “You’re new here” a tall female says to you. You scoff; you realize that you’re actually not dressed for this place no wonder you stick out like crazy. “Yeah, I um, I work next door, I just came to get a drink before heading home” you say shyly. This is stupid you shouldn’t have come. “Oh honey I know exactly what you need, come with me” the tall female says, you follow her to the back confused, pushing off all the males that make a grab about you. You finally arrive at a small room in the back. “Um, what am I doing here?” you ask because it looks like a cheap lounge room. There are two black couches, dim lighting, and some tacky painting on the wall and oh god you look up and see a goddamn disco ball. Why would I need to be here you think to yourself? “Don’t worry, she is going to take good care of you” the tall female says before leaving the room. “Wait who?” you say before you realize she is gone already and you’re talking to yourself, you look around judging the appearance of the room but eventually make your way to the couch and sit down, you should at least see what they think you need, ignoring all the creepy thoughts in your head.
You look up and very tiny brunette walks in the room, you looked up and she was turning her back to you as she closed the door. Is she wearing…leather? Oh god yes, she is. When she finally faces you, you can feel your breath hitch in your throat. She is stunning, really stunning. Her face is what could only be compared to as a work of the gods but why is she wearing so much makeup? She doesn’t need it. “What’s your name” she says to you in a somewhat demanding tone raising her eyebrow at you. Why does she have this effect on you? You can feel warmth radiating through your body, you crave her touching you. “Um i..” is all you can manage to say. “Well um I, let’s get started shall we?” you could have sworn she smirked at you and her eyes go black in desire. “What.. what is this? Who are you?” you finally are able to say. She stops suddenly at you staring at you in confusion. “I am sorry, what?” she asks you, placing her hand on her hip waiting for an answer. So beautiful, so beautiful, okay Carmilla remember your words. “I don’t know what I um, I um, what I’m doing here and I don’t know who you are they just brought me to this room and I am really confused” not a smooth as that could have come out but it’s something. The tiny brunette laughs and finally adds “are you serious?” you nod. “Look, just let me do what I am supposed to do and see if you can figure it out okay?” she doesn’t give you a chance to respond in seconds she is straddling your lap sitting back on your legs before grinding on your thigh and leaning forward on you and finally grabbing your hand and pulling you a chair to the middle of the room and places you there, going back to a straddling position, her hips are making circles around your body, you can’t help but think how you want to take her right then and there which is odd for you, you hardly react that way. She starts to pull at the leather top, staring straight into your eyes and grinding her body right against yours, you can feel her chest against yours, hers is slightly less clothed, your core is aching now. What is with this girl? She is a stripper it isn’t like she actually likes you. Before you know it her back is pressed against you with her ass touching you in all the right places. You reach up to touch her and she looks at you and says “no touching” you raise your hands in surrender, you can’t even acknowledge what is happening all you know is now she is only wearing a thong and is grinding on your thigh roughly. You can feel how wet she is, you know your underwear is probably ruined by now. Her hands are around your neck and you can feel her purring in your ear. You want to be touching her or having her pressed up against a wall but this is her job. She isn’t interested in you. You catch yourself moaning as she grinds on your thigh once more before getting off. You aren’t exactly happy about her climbing off you, you don’t even remember what happened to begin with. And she appears before you fully clothed again, you frown. “Still confused, um I?” she asks in a slight mocking tone. You shake your head no and whisper “my name is Carmilla, I am sorry about that”. “Don’t worry about it, kitten” she says the final word in a very strong sexual tone. She is about to leave the room until you ask her “can I get your name?” and she smiles at you and walks out the door without another word.
You walk home, trying to get there as quickly as possible, ignoring all the cat calls your used to. You walk into your apartment and lean against the door. Who was that girl? You think to yourself. And why do you want to know her so badly. You want to know what makes her smile, what it’s like when she says your name. She never actually said it, she called you kitten. You can still hear her saying it, it sends shivers down your spine. Why does your body have this effect on you? You don’t even know her name as you laugh to yourself, you’ll probably never see her again. You don’t know if you want to actually go back to that place again. You’re sure they’ll probably start charging you and you can hardly afford to live as it is. You get up to go to the shower but you realize you still have that problem. It’s easily handled, you think of her being naked and whispering kitten to you seductively, it doesn’t take you long before you’ve come undone. You taste yourself before wondering what she tasted like…
--
The next day you wake up and realize that she was in your dreams again. This isn’t okay she shouldn’t be able to still be on your thoughts. She doesn’t like you. That is her job, to make you feel good and leave you wanting more, you roll your eyes wondering what the heck you’re going to do. Try and forget her, Carmilla it will be easier. You spend your day at the market picking up a few groceries before returning home and making yourself a sandwich before work, you know you could make a better meal but you don’t feel like it. You carefully go in your wardrobe and pick a pair of black pants and a silky red shirt. Matched with red heels. You’re not going that club tonight. You arrive at the lounge and instantly look at the club and laugh, how could you be so crazy?
The night starts off the same, a few of the classics, one or two more jazzy type songs. You take a break and let the pianist take over for a little bit, and you go and sit at the by the bartenders area. You hear a familiar voice and laugh and turn your head. Tiny brunette, your eyes go wide and disbelief and try to turn away before you can draw attention to yourself, too late. She saw you and you can hear her walking towards you. Crap. Crap. Crap. You feel a hand touch your shoulder “you stalking me kitten” who does she always have to say it like that? “Actually I work here, didn’t you hear me sing?” you can feel her eyes staring into your soul, “actually I just got here” she says with a small smile but her eyes remain the same. “If you’re coming to the club tonight, I am not working” she winks at you. So much for trying to forget her. “Can I buy you a drink?” she says to you. Don’t you only buy drinks for people you’re interested in? “Can I get your name first” she grins widely at you. If you thought she was beautiful before, you were very wrong. She gets prettier, and she is wearing a very natural make up now. And normal clothes, highwaisted jeans and tank top with a cardigan over top. “I’m Laura” she says to you holding out her hand for you to shake, of course. This is not the girl from the club, this is a more dorky version of her and you like this side so much more, not that the other side is bad, it’s great but you love this side too. You hold your hand out to shake hers, you don’t know if she felt it too but you feel electricity running through your body. You allow her to buy you a drink, a glass of wine. She flirts with you any chance she gets, does she actually like you? “Where is your boyfriend… or girlfriend tonight Laura?” she looks at you with disbelief. “Well kitten, aren’t you a bit oblivious? I don’t have a girlfriend” leaning closer to you with a smirk on her face. You blush and look away, “I.. I um… I’m sorry” she laughs at you again. “Look I um, or Carmilla…right?” she looks at you and you nod. “You have nothing to apologize for okay? You’re sweet, I am not used to that.” She smiles at you, you can tell this is a genuine smile. You get called time to go back and sing, you sigh and smile at her apologetically. “I gotta go now, see you.” “Oh no, I am staying to here you sing kitten, and if you impress me I will be here when you’re done.” She winks at you and you feel like you’re about to faint but smile it off and continue to walk to the stage.
It’s the last song of the night, one of your personal favourites, not that it has much that of significance to you personally. You just have always loved this song, hoping that maybe one day it would. You look back to where you were once sitting, she is still there, she gives you a small smile. You smile back, admiring her beauty even in a poorly lit room.
Another summer day has come and gone away,
in Paris and Rome, but I wanna go home,
mmmmm
You sing the song and realize there is a funny feeling in your chest and you look over at Laura, she is smiling at you, you don’t want to feel this, this is nothing more than lust, you tell yourself.
May be surrounded by, a million people I,
I still feel alone and I wanna go home,
oh I miss you, you know
You look back up to the spot, she’s gone. You can’t lie to yourself, you’re a little upset but you’re not one to cry especially at work. You try and clear your thoughts, you see her, she is leaning against the wall to watch you closer. You smile, you’re actually quite thankful. The song is nearly over, you realize.
I’m coming back home.
You finish the last sentence and wait for the applause to finish and say thank you before leaving the stage and walking over to Laura, who has what appears to be a tear in her eye. Without thinking she throws her arms around your neck enwrapping you in a tight hug, you instantly remember her with her arms around your neck grinding into you last night but this very different is a very loving hug. “That was beautiful Carmilla” the tiny human says to you and you smile not really knowing how to react and she wipes away the final tear. “Another drink?” she asks you and you shake your head no, she looks a little sad, you don’t want her to be sad so you quickly interject “the lounge is closing, my house is just a block away if you want we can go there?” she looks at you kinda funny, you don’t know how to read it, then she smiles. “You know there is a bar next door right?” and laughs, you keep thinking how her laugh is the most beautiful sound she has ever heard. “Oh I know but I am not a fan of bars and I like to be able to hear the people I am talking to” you look down you know it’s a lame excuse but it’s mostly true. She reaches out to grab your hand, “well come on kitten” she says. “Coming cupcake” you say as she smiles at you.
The walk is kinda nice, quiet but Laura is still holding onto your hand and you smile at yourself, with heels on you slightly tower over her. You finally reach your apartment and open the door, you live in a rough area but you know the place is furnished well. You open the door for Laura to go in first, she smiles at you, you feel your heart flutter against your chest. You walk into the kitchen, grabbing two wine glasses, and heads to the fridge, “red or white?” you ask. “Whatever you’re having” she says her eyes never leaving you. You pour you both a glass of white wine and lead her to the living room, you sit on the couch first and she sits very close to you. You can smell her perfume, it’s similar to your own but hers makes you want to touch every piece of skin on her body. That isn’t something you can just do though you hardly know her, you almost laugh at that notion. “Tell me about you” Laura says to you. You’re shocked you two really haven’t said much to each other the whole walk here. “There isn’t much to say cutie, what do you want to know?” she turns into you, your faces are literally a foot apart, while looking into your eyes. “I want to know what makes you, you. How long have you been singing?” you have a hard time processing anything with her being that close to you, she’s so beautiful, her red lips are really inviting. Snap out of it Carmilla. “Um, as long as I can remember honestly, my mom said I used to perform all the time growing up” she smiles at you, lolling her head back and continues “and you enjoy it?” you nod. She laughs, “you know conversations usually happen when to people are actually talking right?” you smile lightly back at her, “how long have you been um… you know?” her face is expressionless, you know you fucked up. “I-I’m sorry, you don’t have to answer that” she looks at you and grabs your hand, “it’s okay Carmilla, we just haven’t brought that up yet today I was just taken by surprise, I have been doing it for a year and a half, not what I would call my first choice but I am good at it so there is that” she looks down to your hands, “what would be your first choice?” you ask trying to brighten up her current state. She looks up from your hands, painfully slow and into your eyes, “a lawyer” she has a small smile on her face which quickly drops. Way to go Carmilla. “Laura, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you sad.” She quickly looks up at you, “you didn’t do anything wrong Carmilla” you let out a breath, finally feeling like you can breathe, “no one has actually cared about what I wanted in a very long time” she continues with a painful tone, and a laugh. You whisper quietly “I will always want to know” you don’t know if she heard you but it looks like she is smiling, she leans into you. Her hair smells like vanilla and other sweet type stuff, you wrap your arm around her. Is this okay? She leaned into you right? She wouldn’t be here if she didn’t want to be. All you know is whoever doesn’t care about what she wants can kindly fuck off and you want to protect her from everything bad in the world. She grips onto you tighter and you feel a little bit of tears on you, you want to wipe them away but her head is dug into your shoulder so you just hold her tighter.
--
You assume you both fell asleep that way because you woke up on the couch and she’s still in your arms, you could really use a coffee, you slip out from underneath her and move into the kitchen. You smell like Laura and that makes you really happy. And you start to prepare the coffee, proud of yourself nothing actually happened even though you wished somewhat it did but Laura needed a friend, and you were there for her. You hear stirring in the living room so you head there with two coffees in hand, she looks so cute with her hair all messy in the morning. “Hey kitten” your heart does a flip and you hand her a coffee, she smiles at you “not talking again, huh?” she says to you. “Good morning” you say with a smile. You’re unsure of what exactly this is but you don’t want her to leave you yet. “Can I take you to breakfast” Laura’s eyes shoot up panicky at you, that’s not good. “I don’t think that’s a good idea” she says to you, you have a hard time understanding seeing how she just called you kitten, again. You want to ask why, but you also want to respect her decision so you just nod and looking down, and start to walk to your bedroom. “Carm..” she calls after you but you ignore it no matter how much it hurts you to. You hear footsteps following you, you sigh. You feel her hand on your arm, “we can’t happen, Carmilla, trust me you wouldn’t want me even if this could happen” you look at her confused but just nod, you kinda don’t want her to elaborate for her to say it’s because she doesn’t want you. She apologizes and says she hopes you understand and kisses you cheek and is out the door before you can say anything. You want to run after her but you barely know her, you don’t want to come off as clingy as much as you want to. So instead you collapse to the floor sobbing, not finding the courage to get up off the floor. You wonder how she can get so lost in herself and want something and not want it the next. How are you supposed to forget how she made you feel? Or made you smile? You would rather have someone rip your heart out; you’re convinced it’ll hurt less.
You go to work that day but decide against the singing instead you just do the bartender job for the day. Luckily Brad the normal bartender wasn’t able to make it in today they had no choice but to let you do the bartender job. Hours passed, it goes by much better when you’re singing. Time flies. It’s 10:30pm and it’s almost closing. Thank god, you think to yourself. You would rather be at home eating take out and watching Netflix, you’re really just not in the mood today. You turn around as you hear the seat in front of you move and it’s her. “What are you doing here Laura” you ask but can’t bring yourself to look her in the eye. You hear her sigh, “the more important question is why aren’t you singing today?” you wonder why she even cares. “I didn’t feel like it” she goes and reaches for your hand which you quickly pull back you can hear her flinch but she doesn’t want you. “You hate me, I knew you would, I am sorry for bothering you I will go” you can hear the pain in her voice. You stand there for a minute. You can’t let her walk out again. You follow her out into the street and yell “Laura” she is nowhere to be found, she looked like she was going to be working today, after your shift you decide to go and see her. It’s only 15 minutes.
After your shift you go over to the club, you ask for Laura, they have no clue who you’re talking about, she must go by a different name here for security reasons but you were also advised the dancer was a no show today. You frown, you know she had to work today she was wearing the plaster of make up. All of sudden three men rush past you in a hurry, nearly taking you down with them. Curiosity gets the best of you, you walk down the back alley alone, stupid you know that but oh well. The sight you see makes your heart crumble, Laura. She’s laying limp on the ground. Her face covered in bruises and her dress is ripped all over. You try waking her up, you call her name crying, your tears falling down her face, nothing. You struggle opening your purse with tears streaming down your face you manage to call 911.
911: 911 what is your emergency?
“Yes I need an ambulance right away”
911: what is your location?
‘I- I’m at Rivergrove and Parkway in the back alley”
911: what is the situation?
“I’ts Laura, she’s- I- She’s, she needs help she was attacked pretty badly and she isn’t responding”
911: someone will be there shortly.
Your phone falls out of your hands smashing to the ground you don’t even care, Laura’s face is pretty much a whole bruise and swollen and the last fucking thing she thought about you was that you hated her. You feel a big pang in your stomach , you don’t even fucking deserve to be here with her. But you will make sure she gets to the hospital okay and that she is okay, you owe her that much. The ambulance arrives within minutes, faster than normal, but not that you’re complaining. You ride with her to the hospital in the ambulance, if you were a few seconds faster you could have stopped this. This is your fault, you keep thinking to yourself. When you arrive at the hospital she is taken in right away, you sit in the waiting room and is on edge. What feels like eternities later the doctor comes into the waiting room and walks up to you “you’re the girl that came up with Laura right” all you can do is nod you’re so tired from crying. “Good news she is going to be okay she has a few broken bones and a lot of bruising but she is awake in room 307 if you want to go see her. You quickly say thank you and swallow hard and walk towards room 307, your heart is beating like crazy and you’re surprised you haven’t fell yet, your legs feel like jello.
You knock on the door before entering, you’re not entirely sure why but you do it anyways. You walk in the room and seeing Laura laying there helpless breaks your heart. She looks at you, there is no light in her eyes. “Carm?” she asks you somewhat unsure and you nod. She laughs but then flinches due to pain. You cringe at the hiss that comes out of her mouth. “What are you doing here Carmilla?” she asks you kinda straight forward for her. You shrug, unsure of what to say “why don’t you tell me what happened to you” she looks away from you ashamed. “I told you , you and I can’t work I am not good for you” you nod “I recall but that isn’t what I asked you” she won’t look at you “Carmilla please go, you hate me I get that, I can’t talk about this” she remembers, “I don’t hate you cupcake” she looks at you and you swear seeing her like this is worse than seeing her limp and lifeless, this is sad this is pain. “you don’t?” she asks you kinda disbelieving everything you’re saying, “Laura, I came after you, I came after you, you were gone, I figured you were at work I finished my shift and came there and they said they never heard of you then I realized that you probably went by a different name, and they said well their dancer never showed up today, and I found that odd but then as I was leaving there were three guys running past me nearly taking me down with them and I went to see what they were running from, opposed to my better judgement and I saw you there on the floor helpless and lifeless, I tried waking you up and calling to you and when you didn’t reply I called 911, I stayed in the ambulance with you and waited for you and now here I am and its 8 a.m, would I really be here if I hated you? In fact this is my fault you should hate me.”
you don’t know when you started crying but you have an ocean on your face and when you look back at Laura you see she is crying to, you want to wipe her tears away but this isn’t the time, last time you never saw her cry this is new to you. “For one thing, this isn’t your fault” you’re about to interject but you hear “let me finish” and you quickly close your mouth. “First of all, I am sorry you had to see me like that, that isn’t how I want you to see me, secondly I am sorry I hurt you, I do like you a lot actually but this can’t be a thing because I can’t have anything happening to you. But with saying that thank you for saving me” you can’t believe what you’ve just heard “wait, you know who did this to you?” all you see is Laura nod. “We need to call the police, put those fuckers in jail” then you remember that your cellphone got smashed up so you get up to use the public phone until you hear a faint phone “Carmilla…” you turn around to the tiny brunette “you can’t call the police” “why the hell not?” you ask as she fights back tears “I can’t explain that right now but I am telling you that you can’t call them and it’s probably best you go home to your wonderful life and forget about me” “I am not going to do that” “why not” she interjects, because I don’t want to see this happen to you again, is it because of money, I can help” you offer when you realize you have nothing to help with but you could figure out something. “It’s not money, Carmilla, thank you but this really isn’t any of your business, I will be fine I always am. I don’t need you around these people I need you safe” “why do you think you should have to be around these people? You don’t deserve it not even close, please I can help you” you watch Laura’s eyes close and whispers “Carmilla, I need you to go.” “Fine, but this isn’t the last you’re going to see of me” you say as you storm off and hear Laura’s tears in the background.
--
It’s been a week, you’re finally going back to the hospital to check on Laura hopefully she changed her mind. You walk up to room 307 with a little bit more confidence than normal, you walk in the room and Laura is actually starting to look better, her face is finally healing, less swelling and the bruises are starting to yellow. “Hey” you say and she turns her face and at first she has a smile on her face but the smile quickly falls “Carmilla, I told you to stay away” you nod and move closer to her “so clearly you understood me you’re just choosing not to listen to me? Why?” you get even closer so you can see her eyes “I warned you that wasn’t the last of me that you were going to see, cupcake” she sighs “you really shouldn’t be here, you should be living a happy life without worrying about me” you reach for her hand and surprisingly she doesn’t pull it away. So you grab it but she still doesn’t look impressed “so other than you don’t want me getting hurt, why don’t you want me here?” you ask trying to give her eyes a hopeful look. You hear her sigh and your heart drops a little “I am messed up with the wrong people Carmilla, you don’t deserve that life, you have actual talent you can go far, I am stuck here” you start shaking your head “stop all of this, you aren’t stuck I can help you out, you can go get that law degree you wanted” she looks at you shocked that you even remember that before shaking her head no “that is never going to happen for me” and she whispers next to the point you can barely hear her “they can’t touch you” “I can take care of myself” you say to her, she looks at you and laughs sarcastically “I can too Carmilla clearly I am in here because I can take care of myself” you hear the sarcasm in her tone and kind of flinch. “These aren’t good guys Carmilla, there is lots of them and they will attack you in packs, they aren’t that easy to fight off” you sit down beside her “then lets run away, we can leave and never look back, you don’t need this life” Laura is in tears again, you’re so good at making her cry Carmilla, way to go. “That sounds wonderful but we can’t Carm” “why not” you ask. “It’s complicated” you can tell she won’t elaborate. You look at the time, you realize you have to go to work, you’re already in your skirt and shirt for tonight’s show. “I got to go now I have work but I will be by tomorrow” you get up to walk away and you feel a tug on your arm and you look down and she is pulling you in for a hug, she still smells the same despite being in the hospital. “I am getting out tomorrow actually” you’re shocked to hear that, already? “Are you sure that is safe?” you ask her and she just nods, “what time?” you ask, at least you can help her so that she isn’t alone and you’re actually off tomorrow. She looks up at you “3pm” and replies, you nod and assure her you’ll be there. You see her smile at you when you leave, at least she isn’t telling you that you need to leave now.
--
It’s 2:30pm and you are working your way to the hospital, you arrive at room 307 bringing as little as possible so you can help Laura with whatever she needs, you arrive and she is sitting in the bed smiling at you, that’s a good sign right? She goes to get up slowly but you rush to her side and give her a big hug but not too tight you don’t want to hurt her, you can feel her smiling into your shoulder and that makes you happy, that she’s actually happy you’re around now. After the doctor comes and approves that she gets to leave you have her arm propped around her waist and you get a cab and ask her address but she just asks if they can go to your place and you nod in agreeance. The cab ride to your place is quiet and quite snuggly, not that you mind though. When you finally arrive Laura has your fingers intertwined, and you smile even though that could mean nothing, you get back to the apartment and you can tell Laura is tired, you mention for her to go lay down in the bed and she nods but pulls you with her. You comply, on ease though since you can never really tell what Laura is feeling. You lay down on the bed and she snuggles up beside you, you love the feeling. She falls asleep on you, you’re not gonna dare to move and disturb Laura but due to lack of sleep of worrying you decide to just fall asleep beside Laura, it’s the best sleep you’ve had in weeks.
You wake up and Laura is hidden in the crook of your neck and your arms are wrapped around her and this just feels so right how life is supposed to be, you feel Laura waking up beside you she looks up at you and smiles, hell even she looks rested. “Good morning” you say and Laura looks at you laugh “It’s dark outside Carmilla I am pretty sure it’s good evening” all you can really do is laugh because for one she’s correct and for two you love hearing her laugh. You look down at her, she isn’t wearing makeup but you still think she’s the prettiest girl you have ever seen. You’re pretty sure if there was an actual thing called heart eyes then that’s what you would be doing. Laura notices, and you’re pretty sure her eyes are doing the same thing and you stare at each other for a few seconds… and before you realize what is happening you feel Laura leaning against you and her lips are on yours, it’s the sweetest kiss you have ever hard, her lips are so soft and she eventually cups your face to hold you in there longer, it’s not hungry, it’s sweet and passionate. You can guarantee this is the best moment of your life, Laura finally releases her lips and looks into your eyes and kisses you once more, a smile exploding on her face. You smile at her and look away shyly. “You really need to learn to talk more Carm, you have a wonderful voice, you should use it” you can feel a blush appearing on your face and Laura just laughs at you again, you used to be kind of annoyed to have Laura laughing at you all the time but now you would give anything to hear it. “Are you hungry?” you ask her while looking at her lovingly, she nods and you get up to go get fast food panflets even though you hear Laura whining in the background that you left the bed, you return with Chinese, Thai and Pizza menu’s. You both agree on a cheese pizza.
When the pizza finally arrives you sit with your back against the headboard and Laura laying in between your legs and you’re running your hands through her hair while you watch some movie Laura wanted to watch on Netflix, anything to make her happy. You’ve never seen it before, you don’t even remember the name of it but Laura has decided to give you the full commentary. Not that you mind, you aren’t even paying attention to the movie, just to the tiny beautiful human. Laura eventually puts two and two together that Carmilla isn’t really watching the movie but she is paying attention to what she is saying, she turns around to look at you “you’re not even watching the movie Carm” you scoff “yes I am” and she raises her eyebrows while sitting on her knees in front of you “oh really? What is it called?” you panic now, “I um, uhhhhh” you’re cut off by Laura laughing “I um, you weren’t watching the movie” and you see her pout “I have a vivid recollection of what you told me though” you say with a smug smile on your face, instantly her pout turns into a smile and she leans in to peck your lips. You can handle the smile that comes across your face, and you kinda bite your lip and Laura moves over to Carmilla’s side. And snuggles in, “is it okay if we sleep?” and you nod wrapping your arms around Laura.
--
It’s now morning and you’re delighted to see Laura still by your side and hasn’t somehow disappeared in the night, everything actually happened. You look at the time 2:05pm, shit, you don’t want to leave Laura’s side but you have to go back to work today and you really need to shower. You slip out of your hold and walk towards the bathroom and turn back to see Laura sleeping peacefully, who would want to hurt such a perfect human? You step in the shower, you can still feel Laura’s lips on yours, and that tugs a small smile on your face, the last time you had a thought about Laura in the shower it was to take care of a certain situation. Ten minutes later and you’re out of the shower, you need to be at work 4 pm, that doesn’t leave you much time. You realize you’ll have to wake Laura, she can stay of course but you don’t want her to wake up and you’re gone. As you walk back into the bedroom you see Laura awake laying there in silence. “You sleep okay?” you ask and she nods at you with a small smile on her face but that smile doesn’t feel genuine. “Are you okay?” you ask and she looks at you cautiously “we both know we had to go back to regular life eventually right?” she says with her smile getting wiped off her face completely. You feel a pang in your chest you know what she is doing, she is getting ready to leave. “Laura, don’t leave” you say almost pleading for her to stay. “Carmilla I can’t stay here, I have obligations” you can feel the tears well up in your eyes. “Laura please, please stay” you ask for the final time. “I can’t” she whispers and starts to cry. You don’t know what to do you need to get to work “Please stay at least until I am done work so that we can talk about this” she doesn’t say anything but you give her a final pleading look. You know she won’t but you’re going to pray anyway.
Work goes by slower than ever as you have so many emotions, the track list had changed today from things from the 50`s and a lot of jazz, you`re fond of that music. It doesn’t bother you too much, you leave work a little early, you pray Laura is at your place. She`s not. There is a letter on your bed waiting for you.
Carm (aka Kitten),
I know this is going to hurt you and it`s the last thing I want to do. I need you to understand. If I don’t go, they’re going to come looking for me and the last thing I want is for them to hurt you. I am doing this all for you, I am asking you not to look for me, but we both know how you like to not listen. I told you these guys they`re terrible. Maybe one day we can be together, but today isn’t that day. I am sorry. Don`t cry over me, I am not worth your tears.
X, Laura.
I knew all along this was going to happen, but I will be damned if she thinks I am not going to come after her, I don’t care how bad these guys are. You don’t get to fuck around with people. Especially not Laura, you look innocent, anyone that truly knew you would know that you aren`t what you seem, except the only person that has come close to knowing the real you is Laura, you have a wall but with her it is easily broken down. You`re going to the club tomorrow after your shift and you don`t care if Laura doesn’t want you there.
--
No matter how hard you tried, Laura doesn’t leave your mind. You hardly know this girl but she seems to have you consumed. You walk into your closet and make sure to plan accordingly, last time you went to the club you looked a little…out of place, seeing as being a lounge singer isn’t typically club attire never mind going to see a stipper. You decide on a tight and frankly quite short red skirt and a sheer black button up top and with a final look you are actually pleased with your appearance, you hair just falling past your shoulders with light curls and as subtle as possible make-up fully equipped with red lipstick. Work starts off the same, same old songs as every week, same five people in the crowd that you’re quite certain aren’t even listening. How does this place even stay in business, it makes no sense to you. Luckily for you time goes exceedingly quick and before you know it the final song plays and you’re out the door. You start to walk towards the club you look up and read Passion. You wonder to yourself, Carmilla seriously how have you not figured out that this place wasn’t just a regular club, it’s quite obvious. You walk to the door and the same tall woman is at the door, she has a name tag on this time, Jessica. Suits her, you think to yourself. “What can I help you with?” she asks you “a dance with the girl… in the back” she smiles at you and asks for one hundred dollars, you knew they would charge you for the next time you came back but that’s a lot of money but alas you hand over the money and she walks you to the back, you feel your chest tightening. You want to see Laura but what if she doesn’t want to see you? Also you start to wonder if she is the only dancer they have? It seems there are more than one very small rooms but you’re not about to ask, and just hope that Laura is the one they give you. It’s the same room they lead you too, that’s a good sign right? She mentions for you to sit down and she’ll come soon. You sit on the same couch as last, extremely nervous, not knowing how she’s going to react but you did warn her.
A few minutes passed and you hear the door open and a small sigh come from her mouth, you don’t even have to look up to know it’s her. You know that sigh. “What are you doing here Carm?” you can’t bring yourself to look her in the face or at her for that matter because you aren’t prepared to see if she’s hurt or not, you really hope for the latter though. You hear her walk towards you and your breath hitches and you close your eyes. “You never were one to follow the rules” Laura said with a small smile playing on her lips and she takes a finger to pull you chin up towards her, “look at me” you hear her say and quickly oblige. Her face caked with make-up, you can’t help but think of how she so beautiful without make up and how she doesn’t need any to begin with, but her face looks like it never seen a bruise, you know better. “I came for a dance” you managed to say that is the least stuttered thing you have ever said to Laura, her eye brow raised at you, and she points to the chair and you quickly allow yourself to get there, you’re mesmerized by her, she wearing an extremely short plaid school girl type skirt, and a white button up top, leaving very little to the imagination. You sit in the chair with your back leaning against the rest, you feel the warmth radiating through your body. You crave touching her and feeling every cervix of her body. She turns your back to you and hits a button and the room starts playing with a really loud bass beat, there was music last time wasn’t there? You don’t remember much of anything but your eyes never leave her body, you know one thing is for damn sure, you will remember everything this time. Her hair is in a high ponytail, which you’ve never seen before but it makes you weak, she starts to walk towards you while the music starts and is running her hands up and down her body all while looking at you with lustful eyes, you can feel your heart racing in your chest and you’re pretty sure your panties are ruined but that’s the least of your problems currently.
I’m feeling sexy, I wanna hear you say my name boy,
if you can reach me, you can feel my burning flame
She ends up right in front of you and squats down slowly, so her legs are spread open right in front of you running her pointer finger along her bottom lips while giving you a desired look. When she goes back up she grabs your shoulders and rubs herself against you.
I’m feeling kind of nasty, I might just take you home with me
baby, the minute I feel your energy, your vibes just taken over me
She moves her hands along your shoulders until she behind you and you can feel her slowly breath on your neck, and her hands move painfully slow down your chest making sure to graze your boobs as much as possible, you moan quietly in pleasure and start to loll your head back and she giggles on your neck before leaving a kiss there, and you’re not 100% sure but you’re thinking this isn’t a normal protocol but you hope she continues.
Start feelin so crazy babe, I feel the funk coming over me
I don’t know what’s gotten into me, the rhythm’s got me feelin’s so crazy babe
She removes her mouth and hands from your body and walks in front of you and starts straddling your lap and stares into your eyes while she grinds on your left leg and you hear her whimper. You want to take her right then in there, she drives you crazy but you can’t do this.
Tonight I’ll be your naughty, I’m callin’ my girls
We’re gonna turn this party out, I know you want my body
When that line plays you can’t help but think to yourself, yeah I want your body and your heart but that’s another point of the story, she wraps her arms around your neck and grinds on your leg one more time, you whimper “fuck” and she leans forward and rests her mouth on the crook for your neck while grinding into you once again and you grab her ass to pull her forward and she moans into your neck and her hands go down and stars playing with the hem of your skirt, your hips jerk up towards her and she kisses your neck once again, you’re pretty sure you’re going to lose it.
You’re so sexy, tonight I am all yours boy, the way your body moves across the floor
You got me feelin’ nasty, I might just take you home with me
Her hands move up your leg and she’s pushing her core into you and you can feel how wet she is and you just moan you can’t help yourself, her hands work their way upwards and she strokes your clit and you jerk suddenly but she grinds her hips into you to make sure that you both don’t fall, she moves her mouth to your ear “you’re so wet kitten” all the while grabbing your ear lobe in her mouth and tugging it with her teeth, you’re having trouble remembering your name. Your hands move your way up her back and scratch down roughly as rubs your clit in slow agonizing circles and you moan her name and she pulls back removing her hand and sitting on your legs looking at you.
I love to love you baby, I love to love you baby
Your eyes never leave each other and she starts to unbutton her shirt and she starts to bite her lip and then her hands move to the ponytail in her hair and pulls it out, running her hands through her hair before placing her hands back around your neck and grinding into you once more, you throw your head back and moan rather loudly and she pulls your head up by your hair and you grunt while she pulls you in for a hungry kiss, your mouths move together in unison and she pulls herself closer to you, before realizing what she’s done her lips are off yours in a second and she climbs off you and apologizing profusely. “What’s wrong” you ask, and she doesn’t answer you and you walk over to her and grab her arm ignoring the pool surrounding around your legs, “this can’t happen you need to go, like right away” she says while looking at you. “Laura” you try to interject and she turns to you with tears in her eyes “please Carmilla, you need to leave I’m sorry” you stop dead in your tracks “you’re not sorry” you say to her and she turns around to face you, “I am sorry what did you just say?” “I said, you’re not sorry” you can see the rage in Laura’s face and she walks towards you and you’re pretty sure she’s going to slap you in the face but she doesn’t, “you don’t know anything Carmilla” she says to you and it stings but she is right. “Explain it to me then” you say and her face drops and replies “I can’t” “why not?” you ask again, “I fucking can’t Carmilla okay? I am sorry that my answer doesn’t please you enough but you need to go” you can feel the rage in you building now “really? Then what the fuck just happened because I am pretty sure that isn’t the normal lap dance Laura, I see the way you look at me, you want this just as bad as I do” she walks up to you and takes your hand in hers “you need to leave” and within seconds there is a fairly large tattooed man bursting into the room, “come on slut I have another job for you” you see Laura nod her head and start to head towards the door. “Don’t talk to her like that” you say. He whips his head in your direction, one of the ugliest dudes you have ever seen and you see Laura’s eyes look back at you in a panic. “The fuck did you just say to me bitch?” and he starts to move towards you but Laura juts in front of him “she didn’t mean it Larry okay I am going with you it’s fine” and you watch him push her out of the way and she falls to the floor and you run over to help her up and turn back to him with Laura behind your back “ I said don’t talk to her like that, she has a name and I think it’s about time you learned to use it” he pushes you out of the way and motions forward two men behind him they grab Laura and you try and go after her but they won’t let you and before you’re able to get out of the room in time and out to the alley, praying to every god no one touches Laura like before you see a black SUV drive away but it’s too dark to read the make or the license plate, you fall to your knees crying. You made it worse for her, you know it.
You know she cares about you, she jumped in front of the asshole Larry to try and protect you. She tried protecting you. And you let her down. You drink half a bottle of wine and no matter what you do you can’t get Laura’s face out of your head, you’re really happy you have the day off tomorrow because you doubt you don’t think you’ll be sleeping tomorrow, you just need to see Laura but you highly doubt they’ll let you in the club tomorrow. And it’s not like you have her number or anything. You don’t even know where she lives. Your bed still smells like Laura, everything you look at reminds you of Laura, you want to be able to save her…how can you save her. You eventually fall asleep from over crying.
--
You wake up feeling like you were hit by a bus, way too much wine especially since you didn’t eat anything. With the wine. You look at the clock it’s 4 Pm how the fuck did you sleep that long? Whatever. You need to see if Laura is okay even though it’s going against all your better judgement. This is the first time you’re not going to dress up you have decided, leather pants and a black tank top with a red flannel. Your hair is in a messy bun, this hasn’t been the you, Laura is used to but you just want to make sure she’s okay despite having the worst hangover ever, you decide to make yourself something to eat maybe that’ll help as you try and plan how you’re supposed to get in to see Laura maybe they won’t remember who you are. You roll your eyes but one can hope right? You do need to get a new phone though that’s for sure so you decide to head towards the next Bell mobile shop and look through the phones wondering which one would be more handy if things got bad again, you decide on a iphone and no it’s not the most durable but you buy one of those otter box case things that are supposed to be good for the iphone.
You walk the long way to the club, with your headphones in your ears, mostly songs from the lounge so you can remember the lyrics it’s actually a nice day out, very sunny, you’re glad you have sunglasses on or this hangover would be way worse than what it was, you see cute couples walking together and you can’t help but thinking of how you want to do that with Laura, it actually puts a smile on your face for the first time that day. You can’t help but smile whenever you think of Laura, unless you’re worrying about the bad things, which you try not to but you can’t help it. You need to figure out what the hell Laura and Larry’s connection is so you can break her from him. He doesn’t get to control her life, and you’re going to find out the connection. You’re going to help Laura not even for yourself but for Laura. You start to wonder how many times the idiot touched her or had his people touch her or called her things she didn’t deserve, it makes you sick to your stomach and you feel tears trickle down your eyes. You try and focus on anything, anything, to stop you from crying. You hate crying with a passion oddly enough you have done it lots this past week. The first thing that comes to your mind is Laura’s smile, instantly you feel the corners of your mouth turn upward, she has the most beautiful smile you have ever seen. This is more than a crush, you craved every inch of Laura, you remember hearing her laugh at you, her teasing you, her snuggling into you, her getting upset you haven’t actually watched the movie. Before you know it you’re in front of the lounge and look at your new phone 7:16Pm the club isn’t open yet so you decide to stop into the lounge and sit at the bartender area. “Hey Brad” you say but you don’t really look like yourself and he looks at you kind of stunned, “Carmilla?” he asks and you nod, “wow you look different I didn’t even recognize you” obviously dummy. You ask for a diet coke, not because you need it but you actually can’t stand the taste of regular coke anymore it’s too sweet. He hands you the diet coke and you smile in appreciation, the place doesn’t have anyone in it today, “um Carmilla…” you turn and look at him, “there was someone here to see you today” your stomach drops and you feel ill, “who” you are able to mutter out quiet enough it was barely audible. “It was a girl, her name is Lauren” fuck, fuck, you missed her. “It’s Laura, did she say anything?” and he looks baffled, “Brad did she say anything?” and he snaps out of it “Uh, no, but she gave me this to give to you” and hands you a letter.
Carm,
450 Riverton Road.
Friday, 2:30pm.
Meet me I will explain everything,
L
That’s in two days fuck, so there’s no club today you think to yourself and you smile at Brad and walk out the door, the paper crumbled in your palm.