Chapter Text
She thought she could do it - she really did. She thought she could attend the party without even giving a second thought to the brunette that had left her bed that morning. With a carefully detached smile, all teeth and no commitment; batting her eyelashes and working the floor just like she always did. It's what she was trained to do.
Playing the perfect humanitarian heroine, an avenger; her calling card for so many years it was second nature, but this just too much.
Every time her eyes fall on that pale Sokovian skin, far too much of which was currently exposed. The open back of her floor-length dress, the pearls that littered her collarbones... pearls she'd bought her.
In a bone-deep urge to stake a claim, one that wasn't hers in the first place. Natasha took comfort in knowing a piece of her still held purchase on the little witch. A small part of her smirked knowing the brunette's thighs would still be littered with her presence, like a mosaic of coloured flesh.
Her boyfriend was all over her, beaming as he parades her around the room for his friends. Yet the robot still seems blissfully unaware of just how lucky he truly is, his gaze lingering a little too long on a blonde reporter from vanity. All Natasha can do to grit her teeth, she swore after these last six months she'd need more trips to the dentist than she had in her entire adult life.
"Here we go" Hannah smiles as she offers the assassin a champagne flute. Nat musters a smile, thanking the other woman. It takes a moment to pry her fingers from the fist she'd been holding; her knuckles white minus the reddened flesh of her inner palm where perfect crescents now lay.
Hannah was a junior agent at Shield, a friend of Maria's. Who was currently engrossed in talking to her girlfriend Carol, if you could call their cute jokes about other people at the party in between kissing - talking.
"Thank you." Natasha winked taking the glass with a large gulp, truly wishing that the expensive golden liquid had been something stronger. Hannah was musing gently apprenticing her own glass of bubbly fluid, the light bouncing peacefully off her face. Natasha could appreciate the blondes beauty, she was conventionally very attractive after that is why Natasha had agreed to go on a date with her, but she was also nice, perhaps too nice for Natasha's liking. Maybe she just wasn't used to it, the hand holding the calm words - her appreciation for the little things. Like when Natasha had remembered how she liked her coffee.
They'd been seeing each other for about a month, unofficially of course there was no commitment, no expectations. Just a few evenings out, a simple kiss of two. However Natasha knew Hannah wanted more, it practically radiated off her every time she let slip about things they could do together months from now, the way she spoke about having kids when simple kisses led to heavy petting sessions. Hannah wanted a relationship, a commitment, Hannah wanted to fall in love; and Natasha... well Natasha couldn't offer that. Not when she was still pining after someone else, the same woman that warmed her bed but refused to sleep in it.
So yes. No matter how much Natasha wished she could fall for a nice woman like Hannah, one that wanted her whole. She couldn't shake the fact that she was painfully, undeniably infatuated with Wanda Maximoff.
This apartment was ridiculously large.
Three bedrooms, two baths, with a living room, bar, foyer, and a respectably large kitchen, all spread across two floors. It even has a balcony. The kind that looks like it's been ripped from a catalogue, with a cold city view and monochrome aesthetic, much like the man who owned it Natasha thought.
She resents how much Vision is able to give Wanda. Or at least what Tony would provide for his 'golden boy' top investment. Their life was picturesque, her only consolation knowing how many of the cracks in that carefully constructed veneer there truly was. Beneath every expensive gift were late nights that left Wanda alone, wounding where her hotshot boyfriend was; with every futuristic daydream of children was met with excuses and the purchase of a dog - one that he refused to acknowledge.
Every aspect of their lives together screamed one above the other, each inch depicting that of the bachelor Jarvis Vision, economic wizard, life and soul of the party. The place barely looked lived in. Not a single item belonging to the witch was on display, many of which Natasha knew still resided in her room at the compound. They were no way her little witch was happy here, in this vast world of grey and concrete. At least that's what Natasha told herself, that's what helped her sleep at night, despite Wanda repeatedly choosing this life over any Natasha and she could have together.
One thing was for certain Vision may have given Wanda a house, but is was the furthest thing from a home.
"You two are cute." Carol mused, her arm wrapped around Maria, gently stroking her hip. Actively drawing Natasha back into the conversation.
Hannah beamed turning to look at Natasha, leaning into her side. "Eh. We're okay, not as cute as you and Hill." The blonde joked winking at the pair. "Isn't that right Nattie?"
"Humm?" Natasha mumbled her eyes finally leaving the brunette across the room; trying not to tense too tightly as Hannah used that nickname. It wasn't one she was exactly fond of but the blonde seemed to have taken a liking to it.
"I was just complimenting Carol and Maria here." The other woman filled in flashing a gently smile and reaching out to touch the redhead's arm.
"Oh right," Natasha mumbled forcing a smile, drawing the blonde close by wrapping her arm around her. "Yes, Hilly and Danny are adorable." The assassin teased winking at her two best friends, who simply rolled their eyes at the redhead.
Carol leaning in to kiss Maria's head, "we are adorable aren't we" she grinned.
The conversation changed from there Hill and Hannah discussing a recent incident at the shield impound, something missing evidence and a company-wide search. Natasha however was having a hard time concentrating, Hannah curled into her sipping her drink between laughing but the laughter only seemed to drown out when a flash of familiar green met Natasha's across the room. Wanda stood there in all her Stepford glory, glued to Vision's side as he and his investor buddies and Tony drowned on and on about statistics and stock markets.
The witch's gaze almost burning through redhead's skull as she watched her newest little fling flaunting about her, squeezing the assassins sides laughing along with their friends, looking like a real couple... something Wanda and Natasha never were. No matter how many secret dates or late-night Soiree's they had or the number of times The assassin held and consoled the Sokovian on those late nights when Vision didn't even bother coming home.
"Watch out Ladies and Labels here they come" Maria whispered over the rim of her glass; as Wanda and Vision worked the room and began to approach them.
"How's 37 feel, Vis?" Carol asks, patting Vision on the shoulder with a taunting smile. Wanda stepping up beside the assassin, their shoulders brushing.
"Feels just as good as 36."
"Getting up there, aren't ya?" Vision joked winking at Carol, who held back the need to roll her eyes. It's not that they disliked Vision... per se they just didn't agree with some of his actions towards Wanda, not that the witch would listen to them otherwise. No matter how many interventions they held for her.
"You'll be 34 next month, Baby, I wouldn't go taunting Vis about his age just yet," Maria says poking at her girlfriend's ribs.
"And you're only a few months behind me. We're all getting up there, aren't we?"
"Part of life I guess. Some of us look better than others though." Natasha says, her eyes flickering up and down the witch in front of her.
"Still as sassy as ever, Widow." Vision mutters.
"Still as cocky as ever, Toaster." Nat quips. Vision narrows her eyes at the Russian but merely laughs lightly and continues the conversation with Carol, Hannah.
Maria slumps back against the wall, Vision always gotten on her nerves - his constant flirting, borderline slimy behaviour. Maybe it's because he's the reason Wanda consistency broke her best friends heart. Despite Natasha constantly denying it, she knows that seeing Wanda with Vision still eats her alive.
She bumps Natasha's shoulder lightly with her own, who despite being obviously distracted, well obviously to Maria smiles softly at her. Her free hand is clasped with Hannah's, as the blonde laughs and converses with Vision.
"Oh my goodness Nattie, you didn't tell me the birthday boy here was such a comic." She giggled causing the man to laugh smugly shooting an all too knowing look towards Natasha.
Wanda watches them with gritted teeth, but it's not her boyfriend's blatant flirting she's focused on. It's the young blonde's hand that is still clasped within the Russian's grasp. Jealous getting the better of her, desperately wanting to be the one standing next to her, touching her - instead of him.
"Anybody want anything to drink? Hannah? Another Cocktai-" Carol starts but is interrupted by the sound of the Clint and Tony all hollering Vision back over to them.
"Vision!" Clint yells holding Tony back with a hand to his chest, "come tell this idiot over here that I'm right, and he's wrong would you?!"
"Yes wish." Tony basically giggles, pushing the other man away from him. "Come on Jarvis! Let's show this idiot our in-sync duo!"
"Ladies if you will excuse me." Vision bows lightly, "Hannah it was a pleasure speaking with you." kissing her free hand gently, before racing off back across the room to his friends, laughing. Completely forgetting about his girlfriend who's been beside him. Practically steaming, not at her interaction with her boyfriend but with the fact she's too preoccupied with other people to give the beauty the attention she deserves.
He says it so smoothly that Hannah practically swoons, but Nat is clearly less than impressed as she shakes Hannah's hand from within her own.
"So Hannah" Wanda bites as if the name itself tastes bad in her mouth. "How long have you and Natasha been seeing each other."
"Oh umm, coming up to about two months now I think, Right Nattie?" The blonde grins looking towards the assassin who's jaw had locked instantly at the question, glaring at the brunette.
"Right," Nat stated with a quick nod and yet another forced smile watching as the brunette smirks at her reaction.
"Well isn't that lovely Nattie." The witch mimics winking at the redhead, whose shoulders tense slightly.
"But they are going strong, they are thinking of going away together - Paris I think, wasn't that right girls." Maria butted in, Carol looking slightly embarrassed watching her girlfriend's entrance to the interaction.
"Kept that one a secret" Hannah joked spinning on her toes to gaze loving at Natasha.
"You know me, just full of surprises." Natasha smiled kissing the blondes cheek gently, trying to avoid the deathly gaze of Wanda. "If you will excuse me," glancing at the bathroom door, "just going to powder my nose." She jokes before walking off.
"I'll come with you." Maria offers and follows after her, Carol excusing herself to gather more drinks for the couples.
Once they'd all left an awkward silence takes over the two women left, Hannah and Wanda.
"How's avenging?" Hannah asks politely, shaking slightly as she slips at her champagne. Being left alone with the notorious Scarlett Witch was doing nothing for nerves - like god, did she have to be that powerful as well as gorgeous?
She wasn't stupid she saw the way she and Natasha looked at each other, but she also knew she was the one that Natasha would be coming home to - if she had it her way soon.
"Oh, it's great!" Wanda mumbled sarcastically downing her drink in the most unglamorous way, her eyes fixed ok the door that Natasha and Maria had disappeared through. "Love the dress." She deadpans watching a familiar brunette exiting the bathroom alone and walks off towards her, without another word to Hannah who now stood alone in her blue jumpsuit.
Natasha stands gazing at her reflection in the restroom mirror waiting for Maria to join her.
"What the hell was that?!" She barked as soon as the door is closed.
"I'm sorry! But I couldn't just watch her stand there and taunt you and your relationship!"
"You know that we're not even dating! You know it's just casual between us! What was all that crap about Paris?"
"I just can't stand back and watch you let the possibility of a good thing, with Hannah go for the likes of Wanda bloody Maximoff!"
"That's none of your business Hill!"
"You're right, it's not! And yet, I still know! Everyone knows! Everyone knows that she's manipulating you! Even if they don't know the extent of things like I do, they'd see the way you look at each other - they watch you jumping through hoops for her. Please don't tell me you're seriously okay being that girls second choice?! Someone to warm her bed and make things better, when her boyfriend is too busy flirting with half of New York to give a shit about her?!"
Natasha pauses for a minute at that, leaning against the cabinet, gripping the sink behind her.
"Look I love Wanda, you know I do. I'd do anything for that girl, she's been a good friend to me and Carol over the years but you seriously can't expect me to sit back and watch her keep doing this to you?"
"So what do you want me to do? Tell her I can't see her anymore? Because I just have soooo many other options?"
"Yes, you do! I know so many nice guys and girl that would love to date you! And just you! Fuck Hannah worships you!"
"M, I know it doesn't make any sense to you, but I am so tired of these 'nice' ones."
"Are you kidding me? What's wrong with a nice girl like Hannah?"
"Because I don't want nice! I want someone to crave me exactly the way I crave them. That Thigh shaking, knee braking, heart-melting! Making pancakes at 3 am, dancing in the rain kind of crave. The kind of craving that means it doesn't matter what we do, as long as we do it together." Natasha gasps her eyes flooding slightly.
Maria sighs and leans onto the sink beside her, arms crossed, looking up at the ceiling.
"And you think that someone could be Wanda. The same Wanda that spent the entire night gallivanting around with her boyfriend?"
Natasha sighs, realizing how crazy it sounds.
"I don't know M, But...I think I want it to be."
Maria shakes her head and Nat feels compelled to explain. Compelled to prove she's not crazy.
"I know you can't see it, at first I couldn't either, but sometimes when we're..." she laughs at the thought, "when we're in bed, or out at dinner and she looks at me... I just— I can see it in her eyes, that longing, you can't fake it. I just know she feels the same way and yeah maybe she's scared... I mean I'm practically the poster child for commitment issues, but Maria... if she'd have me, there is nothing I wouldn't do to keep her."
"You're right. You do sound crazy." Maria laughed nudging her best friend gently.
Natasha lets out a breathy laugh. "I know. Fuck I know." She laughs the emotion in her voice prevalent
"I just don't want you to get hurt," Maria says quietly, leaning her head on Nat's shoulder.
"I don't want to get hurt either," Nat admits. "But I deserve to At least try M, finally after years of waiting, second-guessing, of not belonging - I don't plan on settling for anything less than what I want. I've waited this long... what's a little longer?"
"You think she can give you that? Everything you want?"
"She's the only one who's ever made me what something more than what I am, kids... a house... one of those stupid seven-seater cars. I want that, with her." Natasha sniffs, kissing the brunette forehead. "And I'm sorry I know how much you and Carol like Hannah, but she just isn't Wanda."
Maria shakes her head, "wow crazy and an idiot." She mumbled looking up and grasping the redhead's face between her hands, "look Nat, me and Carol don't care who or what you do with yourself - buy a condo, adopt a billion cats and become a Shrew for all we care" she jokes using her thumbs to wipe beneath the assassin's eyes, "as long as you're happy."
"Even if it's with Wanda?"
"Especially if it's with Wanda." Maria grins "it's the boyfriend and her actions we don't agree with not the little witch herself." The brunette ends bumping her nose against the redheads. "I'll see you back out there, Carol will have my arse if I leave her alone too long. Quite literally." She winks before exiting, leaving the redhead laughing lightly, as she dabbed at her tears with a piece of loo roll. Too preoccupied with fixing how the looks she barely hears the bathroom door open and close once again.
"I was starting to think you'd fallen in." The witch quips edging towards her, hands folded behind her back.
Even her voice is enough to have Natasha captivated., the slight twang of her accent that still peaked through even after years of living in the states, that keep intention that left the redhead exhaling a little too harsh, that she followed immediately with a careful cough.
"Well here I am." Natasha sighed at the feeling of
Wanda's arms wrapping around her waist, the witch's chin resting in the crook of her shoulder.
She tenses in the hold, her mind and heart at odds as she reminds herself yet again that this means nothing. Even if Wanda is treating her like she cares now, it won't be like that later, when there are people again, when they have to pretend again. It's taxing in a way Natasha has never known and she isn't quite sure how much longer she can live in that shadow, her only true chance at happiness kept behind a curtain out of necessity.
Wanda brushes Natasha's hair back, pressing a gentle kiss to the place where her neck and shoulder meet. They share the view now, each gazing back at one another in the mirror.
"What's the matter," Wanda whispers, frowning slightly as she notices the dark smudges around Natasha's eyes. The Russian can't help but sigh because, really, what isn't the matter?
"Nothing for you to worry about, милая." Nat says as she turns abruptly in her counterpart's arms
"Oh, so it’s милая now is it?" Wanda laughs lightly, bending to bit lightly at the assassins chin. Fisting the dark fabric of her dress. "Wasn't back there when you were letting that whore drool all over you."
Ah and there it was that look. The one Natasha both loved and loathed; because beneath her possible glare, the witch held an essence of love.
The kiss is bitter and rough, combining into a unique taste that somehow embodies them perfectly. It is punishing, harsh, but it still has that underlying romance to it that has them pressed together as closely as they can get, clinging tightly to each other like they're drowning in the other's mere presence. Wanda's hands find purchase on the sink just next to where it digs into Nat's back, and the redhead's arms fall around her neck, deepening the kiss with ease as her fingers tangle into the wispy locks of hair that have escaped her lover's bun.
"If you hadn't been so occupied with your little boyfriend, I wouldn't have needed the attention," The Russian teases breathlessly.
Those complex eyes flash with something like guilt, worry, and the assassin notices that familiar coiling in her chest for reasons she can't -doesn't want to identify. There is nothing wrong with what she's done, she's not the one in the relationship.
"Aw did my крошка need some attention?" Wanda sneers, pressing her thigh between the Russian legs soft but strong, and Nat's eyes close out of reflex.
Whispering lightly as the witch brushes a stray curl of her hair behind her ear.
"Well you weren't giving it to me," Natasha shoots back, at last, bringing that element of teasing back into the conversation as she grasps at the brunettes behind. The witch emits something like a purr, pressing herself flush against her partner once again as she hooks her arms more securely around her waist.
Their lips crashed together again, the kiss almost animalistic in its intensity, and Nat pushes them backwards, away from the sink to rest against the wall instead, effectively switching up the power dynamic in one smooth movement. Even that single show of dominance has Wanda breathing heavily, more excited than she probably should be by the prospect of sitting back and letting the Russian have her way with her with the party in full swing just a few feet away. Her boyfriend is in the next room, celebrating his birthday. She moans quietly into the redhead's mouth in reaction to the cool tile grazing her bare skin.
Nat's lips start to kiss and lick a path of fire down the witch's neck, instinctively paying special attention to each and every point of pleasure she had grown to learn and love. Wanda right hand's fingers tangle harshly into red curls, tugging just enough to hurt, and she smiles hotly to herself when Nat releases a groan in response.
"Don't think this means I forgive you for straying дорогая." She practically growled taking a chance to bite down on the Russian's exposed throat; despite her current submissive position. "Tell me, had she touched you? крошка? Have you let her touch you? Taste you? Have what is mine?" Her free hand moves under Nat's skirt, walking up her thigh to locate the slightly rougher patch of skin at her hip that signifies her bullet wound. She traces it with deft fingers. This specific caress is loaded with meaning to both of them; it says that Wanda appreciates, cares for, every part of Natasha, including her past. It says that she has nothing to worry about because Wanda has her.
"I've got you, Talia," Wanda whispers gently against the redhead's neck, nuzzling it lightly with her nose. The brunette shaking at the use of her real name, the one only her little witch was allowed to use.
Her hips begin to rock, head falling back as Wanda lays down another line of kisses, this time to her chest in compliment to her ulterior ministrations there. The brunettes thumb is constantly working her clit, but other digits drift downward, teasing her entrance.
"Please," the redhead grits out. It's weak, feeble and so so out of character.
Wanda purrs in satisfaction, sliding two fingers into her with ease, and Natasha sighs in a combination of pleasure and relief, adjusting almost instantly to the stretch and gripping hard to the witch's shoulders. The pace she sets is hard and fast, Nat whimpers and gasps slipping past her lips unfiltered as Wanda focuses all her energy on guiding her to ecstasy.
Lipstick smeared, eyes bright from arousal, cheeks flushed.
"Mine," Wanda whispers, and it's so quiet Natasha almost doesn't register it, but so intense that it has her breath catching in her throat, unsure how to react. Wanda's head lifts from her chest to meet her eyes, "You're mine, Natalia." She repeats.
Their chests heave with every intake of air and it's becoming so hard to even think about breathing. A sharp bite to her shoulder has Nat bucking her hips hard, as she comes.
"Say it," Wanda grits out, tears suddenly in her eyes. Natasha laying breathlessly against her chest still coming down from her high, when she looks up to the brunettes tears. "Please say it."
She falters for a moment, her hands coming up to grasp at the witch's face. "I'm yours Max." She started kissing the witch's flashed, teary face. "I am yours" she repeats continuing her motions covering the taller woman's face in tokens of her affection.
"I want you." Wanda whispers between her tears, "I want you so badly, it hurts. Every night, Every morning I can't— It's so selfish of me I know, to have you both... but I can't leave him I just can't."
"I've never asked you to." Natasha sighed, resting her forehead against the other woman's. "But this isn't fair on me Wanda, I deserve more than this... I deserve more than being some dirty little secret."
"You are more," Wanda demands, her own hands flying up to grasp the redhead's face - the pair of them clinging on to the other flesh as if it kept on the ground. "You are so much more, fuck! You will never understand how much more you are Natalia."
"Just not enough," Nat mumbles her own eyes wet, biting her lip until it bled.
"God Nat." The witch curses looking away for a moment, blinking rapidly. "There's just so much you don't know; about me and him. So much you won't understand" She clarifies.
"Then tell me!" Natasha cries kissing the witch's eyes quickly, "make me understand" she begs to surge forward to kiss her again, their lips parting with sloppy sound.
Wanda just shakes her head, the tear tumbling down her face faster now, "I can't—-I can't."
"Then why am I here?." The assassin asks her hands falling from the witch's face, as she tried to remove her own from within the brunettes grasp.
"Because... Because I want to be that person for you, Nat. The one that stands beside you at fancy dinners, holds your hand at doctors appointments, the one you tell your sister about... I want to go to Russia with you meet that second family of yours." She declares, refusing to allow the redhead's face from within her grasp. Gripping so tightly to her bones and flesh that it almost hurt. "I cannot bear to see you with someone else, with her."
"But that's not fair on me Max, you see that don't you?" She asks mournfully her hands coming to rest upon the witch's own, turning her head to kiss her palm lightly - despite herself. "How would I even introduce you eh? Oh yes, this is my girlfriend... who's not actually my girlfriend because she's actually got a boyfriend who she lives with... but we fuck a lot and she insists that she wants me, so you know fuck it - who likes monogamy anyway?"
The assassin spits with venom like Wanda had never seen before; slamming her body up against the brunette that snatching her lip with her own again, in a painful kiss.
"You can't ask me to give you commitment when you've not given even a fraction of it to me." She whispers against her lips.
"Please" Wanda begs gently, their lips still brushing against one another's but not kissing, "I love you." She whispered in the most emotionally gust wrenching way.
"I won't say those words to you, Wanda. You know how I feel about you but I won't say those words to you, not when you go home say them to him too. Because once I say them this all becomes real and there's no going back." The Russian explains snuggling her nose against the brunette, kissing its tip gently before stepping away.
"What are you—-" Wanda starts watching as Natasha cleans the damp sweat from her body using a tissue. A masterpiece of Wanda's own making, decorated in lovebites and smeared lipstick. She can feel that her own hair had undoubtedly come free of her bun and is now sticking to her skin.
The witch reminds pinned to the wall, watching the redhead perfect herself again fussing with her hair before turning to the brunette slightly. "I won't tell you to leave him, Wanda, I'll never be the person, the one to jeopardise your happiness for my own. So make a choice, I'll wait- but not maybe forever." With that she left, Wanda still pressed against the bathroom wall crying and alone.