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Caleb tasted iron in his mouth. It was the second thing he noticed after the pain in his chest. He looked down, and noticed the sharp point of a monster’s appendage that had gone through his chest. He couldn’t breathe. That wasn’t good. He saw red drip down from his mouth and onto the ground. That definitely wasn’t good. He took in a trembling breath, despite knowing that it would be painful. And it hurt more than the wound that inflicted him.
Caleb looked up once he saw movement in front of him. He saw blue skin. He saw freckles that covered her perfect nose, short curls that framed her face, long horns tied with silk ribbons and other assortments, and beautiful amethyst eyes. Jester looked at him in pure horror, pale cheeks streaked with tears as she trembled against the wall behind her. His hands were placed flat against the rough surface beside her, his fingers covered in soot and dirt. He tasted iron in his mouth. And he grinned despite it all.
“I made it.” Caleb wheezed out. “Ich habe es geschafft.”
Caleb didn’t know why his words switched to his native tongue. His brain was betraying him, he thought. A scream from behind him echoed through the cave, and green flashes illuminated the space for a split second. There was an impact that landed on the monster behind him, and the appendage that had wounded him violently left his body with a sickening sound. A pained grunt escaped his lips, and his legs gave out from underneath him.
“Caleb!” Jester caught him before he could hit the ground. She cradled him, held him tightly as he struggled to breathe. “I got you! I got you!”
“Du lebst…” Caleb wheezed. “Dir geht es gut...was bin ich froh...”
“I can heal you! You’ll be okay!” Jester whispered frantically. Caleb could see a trembling hand hover over him. Her tears landed on his face as she closed her eyes to concentrate. And then…her eyes opened; fear and panic were clear in them. “Oh, no…! No…no, no, no, no!”
Caleb saw her look around her, searching for someone, anyone. Jester took a deep breath, ready to scream. He saw her mouth move, but didn’t hear anything. He felt the vibrations of her cries, but nothing reached his ears. She looked back down at him, and her tears continued to hit his face. He tasted iron in his mouth. And he was choking on it.
Bren…
Caleb blinked. He was losing his mind. It was a woman’s voice. It didn’t belong to any of the Mighty Nein, but it sounded familiar. It sounded like home. An old home. A longing that pulled at his heart.
Bren…
Caleb’s vision started to fade. He blinked once more. He was so tired. But it was okay. Jester was okay. Caleb looked at her. He reached out to touch her face. He felt his mouth move. He couldn’t hear his voice, only the muffled vibrations in his throat. He saw her confusion through her tears. He was so tired. He tasted iron in his mouth.
“Bren.” The voice was clearer, as if someone said it an inch away from his ear. Caleb jolted, and his eyes flew wide open. He gasped, and air filled his lungs. He noticed there wasn’t any pain as his ragged breathing managed to steady itself. He looked down at his hands, but couldn’t see anything. He looked around, but only saw darkness. His body trembled, not from the cold, but an ingrained fear of being in inky black void devoid of anything around him. He rubbed his eyes, hoping to clear his vision, yet the darkness lingered. He put his hands on his arms and legs. He had a physical body…he hoped. He wasn’t imagining it, right?
“Bren. There you are.” The woman’s voice was soft, protective, warm. It filled his heart with an emotion he couldn’t quite place. Caleb stuck his hand out, hoping to feel his surroundings. He expected a wall, or a cage. Yet, he felt a hand gently link with his. He pulled away, suddenly terrified.
“It’s okay! Don’t be afraid.” The gentle voice comforted him. “Bren…my Bren…”
“Mother…?” Caleb suddenly called out. His voice was a whisper, but it sounded loud in his ears.
“My dear boy.”
“I…I can’t see you. Why can’t I see you?” Caleb started to panic. Warm arms wrapped around him in a gentle hug, and he felt his fear subside. Caleb breathed in, and he could smell her. He could smell Una. He could smell his mother and the apple tarts that always clung to her clothes. He heard her hum a tune, a long forgotten song from his childhood. Caleb felt tears run down his face.
“You need to make a choice, son.” Caleb heard another voice behind him. It took him a moment to recognize it, but he knew it was his father, Leofric. His voice was deep, deeper than Caleb’s own; it was stern, powerful, but there was a gentleness to it that was reserved only for him and his mother.
Caleb…you better not fucking leave us…! Don’t you dare! I know I always make fun of your dumb nerdy shit, but…you know that I care about you, right? You have to know! You’re my library buddy! You…you’re my brother!
“You are not meant to be here…not yet.” Una stroked his hair. “You are not ready.”
“I am in Hell, aren’t I?” Caleb sobbed. “Even in death, I am not allowed to see you. Is this my punishment?”
You need to come back to us. Please…Caleb. You mean so much to us. You mean so much to me! We are a family! And…Luc needs his uncle, okay? You inspire him, just as much as you have inspired me! So…please…! Come back!
“Bren…” Una placed her hand on his cheek. “We love you. We will always love you. But you are stuck in between life and death. You must make a choice. And we both know which one you must take.”
“Father…Mother…I want to be with you.” Caleb trembled. “I miss you! So much!”
“You have so many people that care about you. They are calling out to you.” Leofric stated. A hand was placed on his head, and Caleb finally smelled the soil on his father that he associated with him for so long. He could hear the smile in his voice. “I’m so proud of you, Bren. You held on. You found love. And she is waiting for you.”
Caleb…there is so much I want to say, but…I wish I knew which were the right ones. I wish I knew what will make you come back to us! T-To me…! You…always knew what to say to make me feel better. You were always there for me…! And I want to be there for you, too! I…you need to come back! I need you here with me! I need you by my side! You…said something to me, and I didn’t understand! I wish I knew what you said! You need to come back and tell me what you said!
“Jester…?” Caleb felt his heart swell. “Jester!”
“Please…go back.”
“Go back.”
Caleb felt himself rising. The voices of his parents suddenly sounded far away. The warmth of his mother holding him was gone. He felt empty. Soon, an image burned into his mind. Blinding and painful for a split second, but he could see it. He could see them. He could see his mother and father in the distance, smiling at him, tears on their faces. And Caleb understood. He understood why he couldn’t see them before. It was temptation. This world in between removed his need, his want, his desperation. And when his choice was made, the knife twisted in his heart. He saw them, and he was seventeen again.
“No…please, wait…” Caleb’s voice trembled. “Come back! Let me hold you one more time! Please, just one more time! Please! Don’t leave! Don’t leave me!”
Caleb reached out, but was too late; the distinct scent of Blumenthal enveloped him, pulling him back down to the material realm as if attached to a rope. The memories of soil under his father’s nails, the wind through the apple orchards, the smell of his mother’s cooking, it wasn’t enough to placate his soul. Caleb continued his pleas to his parents until he fell back into his physical body. He felt his body arch up and his lungs gasp for air. Caleb tasted iron in his mouth. And he heard his voice ricochet off the stone walls of the cave.
“Bitte! Bitte verlasst mich nicht! Nicht noch einmal! Kommt zurück!” Caleb screamed. His vision was blurry with tears, but he could still see his parents burned into his eyelids. Caleb blindly grabbed on to someone. He didn’t know who. But he heard a gasp as he gripped their clothes. Caleb was aware of the people around him, screaming in shock, or relief, or both; he couldn’t tell which as his pleas to his mother and father rang in his ears.
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Caleb felt like death. Or the equivalent of it. It was nine-fifteen in the evening. At least, he thought it was. He couldn’t tell anymore. He was tired. So tired. He could still taste the iron in his mouth, a constant reminder of his brush with death. He covered it with beer, in hopes that it would erase it. The vision of his parents could still be seen in his mind’s eye whenever he closed his eyes, and the smell of apple tarts was replaced with ale and meats that surrounded the tavern, and he cursed it all.
“Thank the Wildmother!” Fjord stated in a drunken stupor as he clanked his tankard with Caduceus’ glass of milk. The half-Orc chugged his drink, his hand gripping Caleb’s shoulder to steady himself, and slammed the tankard down on the table. “Tell Caleb he’s awesome for me! I gotta pee!”
Fjord immediately got up from his chair and stumbled away. He bumped into a few people on the dance floor, which got a few judging looks. Caduceus could only frown in concern at Fjord, who seemed to walk in the opposite direction of his destination.
“I should probably help him before he passes out somewhere unpleasant.” Caduceus stated as he got up from his seat. He took a moment to look at Caleb.
They decided it was best to give Caleb a break from using any magic so that he could recover from his Resurrection. It would have been unfair to ask him to put up the dome or the tower after all that. They walked in the cold air, knowing a town was nearby. They took small breaks in between, a short rest here and there to gain back some spells to heal each other. Mentally, Caleb wasn’t doing so well, and who would blame him? The man had screamed in Zemnian when he was brought back to life.
They didn’t ask him what he had said, nor asked what he had seen to cause him to react in such a heartbreaking manner. Instead, the group made it their mission to smother him with anything and everything that would make him feel better. Caleb found their actions strange; they acted as if his death was a new experience. The ritual was new, but death? All of them died in one way or another and he couldn’t recall a time where any of them were coddled afterward.
Beau went for hugs. Less awkward than previous times. Caleb made a strange face, far too exhausted to properly respond. She only laughed and shoved her dark vision goggles in his hands. A loaner, she stated.
Yasha would walk behind him to protect him, just in case. Even offered a piggyback ride if he needed it. The thought of Yasha carrying him on his back like some child was not the image his mind wanted at that moment.
Veth braided his hair, which had gotten longer in the recent months. He had debated on cutting it short in the same style as when he had first met the Nein, but Jester and Veth’s sweet compliment on how beautiful his hair was had convinced him otherwise.
Fjord would glance his way, or pat him on the back. Despite him leading the party in the front, he took time to check up on Caleb when the terrain was slightly challenging. “Don’t worry, I got this!” Fjord nodded at him as he used Star Razor to light the way.
Caduceus would make small comments about the winterberry shrubs and the unique smell of evergreen trees. Caduceus’ voice was like a strong hug after a rough day. Or like warm bread fresh from the oven. Or like a comforting cup of dead people tea.
Jester would read from her smut novels while she linked arms with him. She read it out loud, to Fjord’s embarrassment. It was entertaining, and was a good distraction to his scattered mind. It was also nice to feel the weight of another person. It anchored him, grounded him to reality.
Once they reached the inn, they almost stepped over each other to pay for rooms and extra food. As the night went on, after shoving food and drinks in Caleb’s face, hugged him and complimented him, they broke away in a drunken stupor. Caduceus and Jester took turns on keeping everyone alive.
“Keep an eye on Caleb, okay?” Caduceus smiled at Jester. He placed a gentle hand on Caleb’s shoulder. For comfort, or acknowledgment, he didn’t know. Caduceus didn’t say another word. Just a warm smile, and then he was on his way to help Fjord.
“I will!” Jester smiled. She scooched closer to him and poked his red cheek playfully. “Boop! Just you and me, Caleb!”
Caleb only hummed in his fifth tankard of beer. He was singing in Zemnian, slurred as it was. Despite his bleary vision, he could see the pity in Jester’s eyes. He didn’t like that. He didn’t want her to worry. He needed to make her laugh. He needed to see her smile.
“Es geht mir gut.” Caleb stated. He blinked. He hoped he said that in Common. With the way she looked at him, he doubted it.
“Caleb, do you need to go to bed?” Jester asked, sounding more like a concerned mother. She placed a hand on top of his. Caleb was grateful that his drunken face was already red. Her hand was cool against his; it was really nice. Boy, was she pretty. Was that a new ribbon on her horn? Her hair was so cute when it was short. Her eyes were so bright in this light.
“I’m okay!” Caleb repeated, hoping once again that it was said in Common. His uncertainty didn’t last long. Caleb started to sing again, but louder, happier. He had to be happier. He wanted to see Jester smile. He slid his hand away from hers, and gently patted her cheek. It was a playful gesture, which got her to giggle. A small blush highlighted her freckles.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this drunk before.” Jester mumbled. She cleared her throat. “What is that song you’re singing?”
“Blumenthal!” Caleb cut himself off mid song as he answered her question. “Meine Mutter und mein Vater haben es immer füreinander gesungen.”
Jester tilted her head at him, and frowned as she tried to pick out the words that she slightly recognized. “It’s a song from your home? Mother…and…Father?”
“Mother and Father.” Caleb nodded and patted her cheek again. She giggled once more, and the sound of it were like chimes in the wind; it was magical. It made him want to dance. He chugged the rest of his drink before getting up. The floor felt like sand beneath his boots. Everything around him swirled and spun, and he had to close his eyes for a moment to catch his bearings.
“Caleb?” Jester got up as well, a hand placed on his shoulder in case he fell over. He blinked once more, and held her hand.
“Jester?” Caleb took in a deep breath before speaking. “Care to dance?”
“Really?” Jester gasped excitedly. She quickly glanced at the cheerful crowd in the center of the dance floor. She let out a soft chuckle before looking back at him. “Okay, but don’t throw up on me.”
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Caleb heaved into a basin outside of the Inn. It was nine…something. Almost ten? No, nine…eleven? The burning in his throat was painful, distracting, and acidic. Jester was beside him as she held his hair up, her other hand rubbed his trembling back. The cold winter air bit at his neck and his fingers; it was surprisingly helpful in his dizzying state.
“I’m sorry I can’t use a Restoration spell on you.” Jester stated above him. “I can help you out in the morning, okay? I promise.”
Jester got a loud retch as a response, and she rubbed his back again. He gripped the basin tighter after one last push, and groaned from exhaustion. Once he felt his stomach stop turning, he breathed a sigh of relief. Caleb moved away from the basin and sat on the snow. Jester sat next to him, which prompted him to lean on Jester’s shoulder.
“I’m sorry.” Caleb managed to say. “Ich hätte gern noch länger mit dir getanzt."
“Don’t apologize, Caleb.” Jester fixed his braid. “How about we get you some water? Then I tuck you in, okay?”
“Danke, Jester.” Caleb whispered as she helped him up. “Danke, dass du mich nicht in der Gosse hast liegen lassen. Du bist zu gut zu mir. Ich werde mich revanchieren.”
“You’re welcome, I think.” Jester laughed as she brought him back inside the inn. Once Caleb got some water in his system, she led him up the stairs, which was more difficult than it looked. He tripped on a step, and slurred his apology to the stairs. He successfully leaned against the wall by his bedroom, triumphant in making it that far. He stared at Jester as she opened the door, and allowed her to pull him in as she moved closer to the bed.
“Jester.” Caleb mumbled under his breath as she lifted the blankets out of the way. “Meine Eltern hätten dich gerne kennengelernt...”
Jester looked up at him, and grinned. “Caleb…did you think you had cast Tongues on me? Because I still can’t understand you.”
“Sollte ich?” Caleb thought out loud. Jester didn’t need a translator to understand his confusion. She slowly removed his blue scarf, careful as to not choke him, bundling it up in her arms while doing so. Caleb grabbed one of the frayed ends, and fiddled with it.
“It’s been a bit difficult, you know. I want to know what you are saying.” Jester’s smile faltered slightly, her mind drifting somewhere else. Why did she look so sad? Caleb used the fringe to tickle her cheek. She flinched, a small giggle escaping her lips as she swatted at his hand, inadvertently dropping his scarf on the floor. “Stop being cute, Caleb. Now get in bed.”
“Warte.” Caleb pulled away. He groped at his deep brown coat, trying and failing to remove it.
“You want your coat off?” Jester asked. He nodded, and before he realized what was happening, Jester had slid her hands up his chest and under his coat. The sensation took him by surprise, but it only lasted a second when she pulled at his sleeves. He felt the coat fall on the floor, heavy from the components in its pockets.
“Oh, shit. Sorry.” Jester went to pick it up. Caleb reached out and grabbed her waist in a surprisingly strong grip. He meant to grab her arms, but his depth perception was shit. He immediately let go.
“Schon okay, Blueberry.” Caleb went to remove his book holster, but frowned when he had difficulty in doing that as well. “Scheiße.”
“W-Wait. L-Let me help.” Jester stammered as she nudged his hands away. Caleb blinked as he focused his tunnel vision on her. Her cheeks were slightly pink, highlighting the freckles on her face. Her hair was short and curly, a new look after she had grown it past her waist. Her excuses ranged from “it was too heavy” to “it got in the way when I was painting”. Yet, when Caleb noticed the indifference between Fjord and Jester a month ago, he had a sneaking suspicion. But he didn’t ask. He wouldn’t dare.
Jester managed to loosen the buckle that securely fastened the holster around his body. It wasn’t easy, as Caleb kept tilting back and forth, which forced Jester to grip onto one of the straps to keep him steady for a moment longer. If he weren’t drunk, he was positive Jester would have teased him about how intimate this was, but she didn’t say a word. She didn’t even crack a suggestive grin. If anything, she seemed more frustrated with the buckles and his swaying form. Caleb helped by shrugging the holster off his shoulders, and she carefully slid them down his arms. Jester was gentle with his books, knowing that they were like priceless porcelain in his eyes. She placed them on the nightstand, and smiled triumphantly.
“Okay! Now let’s…” Jester’s voice trailed off as soon as she noticed Caleb’s balance fail him. He leaned forward, and Jester caught him in time. Despite her strength, the sudden movement and weight on her caused her to fall backwards, and they both toppled onto the bed. She let out a small squeak, and the cushion underneath gave in to their weight.
“C-Caleb?” Jester stammered. She gently pushed him off, forcing him to lay on his side. She mirrored his position, and spoke in a smaller, quieter voice. “Caleb? Are you okay?”
“I saw them.” Caleb mumbled. Jester froze. “I saw my parents.”
Caleb felt tears drip down the side of his face and onto the bedsheets. Jester could only look at him with wide eyes. The space between them was minimal, but Caleb didn’t care. He was so tired. He was so tired of holding it all in. He finally broke. His filter was officially gone. Jester was right there, and he couldn’t stop crying.
“I…I wanted to stay with them. I wanted to stay. But…I heard your voice.” Caleb gulped as he reached up and caressed her cheek with the back of his fingers. Her face burned under his touch, and he couldn’t help but smile at how cute that blush looked on her. “Meine liebste Freudin. Mein Liebling. Mein Schatz.”
Caleb brushed her hair as he looked into her eyes. Jester hadn’t said anything. She didn’t move away. She only looked at him. And he saw tears. Tears that glinted in the moonlight. Tears that glistened like her diamond tattoo. Tears that sparkled like the snow outside the window. Caleb cupped her face, and caressed her cheek with his thumb. He inched closer, and their foreheads touched.
“Ich liebe dich.”
Jester’s body trembled. Her hands slid up his neck, and her thumb grazed against the hairs on his jaw. He felt goosebumps travel up his body from the sensation, and he took in a trembling breath. Her fingers were soft, comforting, gentle, as she brushed his hair away from his face. He sighed from her touch, and closed his eyes. Fresh tears continued to fall.
“Ich liebe dich, Jester.”
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Caleb winced as the sun’s rays of the new day magnified through the window. He tasted acidic beer in his mouth. His stomach still churned, warned him, reminded him of what happened the night prior. Even with his keen mind, he was having trouble remembering everything. Only bits and pieces stuck with him, but even those were hard to recall. He remembered food. Lots of food. Lots of beer. Everyone was hugging him. That was weird. That must have been a dream.
Caleb sat up from his bed, and looked at his surroundings. Veth’s bed was empty and still made. She had probably passed out in one of the other ladies’ rooms. As he sat up, he paused when he noticed his coat and scarf on the floor; he would never drop it so haphazardly. He patted his body for his book holster, and looked around the room, only to find it placed neatly on the nightstand. He was relieved, but confused. It was strange, but thinking too hard on it was making his headache worse. He got up from his bed and put everything back on. Every part of his body hurt; both from the hangover and from the heavy exhaustion from being brought back to life. Still, he forced the pain down.
When he went down the stairs, he noticed that the tavern was empty, save for the clanging of pots and pans in the kitchen. The smell of cooked meat filled the space, but food was the last thing on his mind. It was eight in the morning (eight-fifteen, to be exact), and he was amazed that Caduceus was not the first face to greet him. He shrugged and stepped outside, taking in the freezing, crisp air. A little ways off, tucked behind the inn, he saw a small, frozen pond; it was inviting, calming in the stillness. He walked over to the pond, and sat on a fallen tree trunk. The ice still clung into the cracks of the bark. He sighed, and took in the view. It was oddly nostalgic, reminiscent of the winters in Blumenthal.
“There you are.” A female voice jolted him out of his trance. He turned around, and saw the blue-skinned Tiefling walking up to him. “I was going to check up on you, but you weren’t in your room. Caduceus is making tea in the kitchen for everyone. Even helping out the cook.”
“Ah…that explains why I didn’t see him.” Caleb nodded as she sat down. “Unfortunately, I have no memory of what happened last night. How much of a fool did I make of myself?”
“Well…not as bad as you might think.” Jester grinned teasingly. “We totally started making out in your room. It was really hot.”
“That so?” Caleb raised a playful eyebrow. Despite his racing mind, he knew that she was trying to get him flustered. “I find that hard to believe, Lavorre.”
“You’re right, I lied.” Jester shrugged, her mischievous grin grew wider. “Not to brag, but if that did happen, you wouldn’t have a hard time remembering.”
“Ah…” Caleb breathed out a nervous laugh, and looked away. Sometimes it was difficult to keep up the charade when it came to Jester, especially when she flirted like that.
“Still, the night wasn’t all that bad.” Jester patted his shoulder. “You were talking to me in Zemnian most of the night. It was pretty fun. Almost like a guessing game.”
“Oh.” Caleb scratched at his bearded cheek.
“And you were singing. And we danced. A little.” Jester winced. “You kinda bolted to throw up outside. That part wasn’t as fun.”
“Shit.” Caleb mumbled defeatedly. “I’m sorry, Jester. I hope you didn’t have to take care of me all night.”
The look on Jester’s face answered his question, and Caleb could only groan in mortification. He wanted to hide in a hole. As nice as it was for Jester to take care of him, he couldn’t help but compare it to the night in Hupperdook. At least that time, he was able to remember the events that transpired, even the waltz. He prayed to any god out there that he didn’t accidentally call her Astrid again.
“I…have been wanting to ask you something, Caleb.” Jester said hesitantly. Caleb tilted his head, taking in the sudden seriousness of her face. “I didn’t want to ask right away, since you…you know… It was a rough night. But…that moment…when you were dying, you said something to me. Do you remember what it was?”
“Hm.” Caleb’s eyes shifted back and forth in deep thought, remembering every painful moment of his death. He remembered Jester screaming. He remembered Jester trying to heal him. He remembered losing his hearing as his brain was shutting down. He remembered touching her face to get her attention. He said something. He said...something. What did he say?
“I’m sorry, Jester.” Caleb shrugged. “That part is hazy.”
“Oh…” Jester sighed, the disappointment clear in her voice. “I think you said it again last night, but you were so drunk, I…I doubt that memory will come up anytime soon.”
Caleb shook his head. He immediately regretted the action when his vision doubled from pain. He winced as the pressure in his head intensified. Caleb pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a small grunt. He felt a gentle hand on his shoulder, and a warmth spread through his body and up his head. His bruised body didn’t feel as sore. The pounding in his head subsided until it no longer existed. The fact that he could turn his gaze to her and not feel a sharp pain in his eye sockets almost made him want to cry.
“I promised I would help you with that.” Jester smiled.
“Did you?” Caleb smiled. “Thank you. And apologies again for last night, whatever I did.”
“Don’t worry!” Jester dismissed his worries with a playful wave of her hand. “I’m glad I could help.”
Caleb chuckled, and brought his attention back to the frozen pond. It looked majestic without his hangover. He heard Jester move, her clothes shifting in the corner of his eye. Caleb knew that a tree wasn’t the most comfortable thing to sit on, so he didn’t say anything. He continued to enjoy the view. It truly was breathtaking. Jester shifted again. He felt a small pressure on his arm, but didn’t think too much of it. It was eight-thirty. The sun had raised higher, adding new shadows to the frozen wonderland.
Caleb felt a heavy weight on his shoulder, dark hair and horns in his periphery. And suddenly, he was aware of her. He could smell the sugar that lingered on her clothes. He could smell her perfume. He could feel her warmth. He could feel her breathing. Heat traveled up his neck to the roots of his ginger hair. His body stiffened, and before he could say anything, Jester stood up.
“Ah, sorry! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to…! No, that’s a lie! I did mean to do it! It was just so magical and kinda romantic, I couldn’t help myself! I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable!” Jester blurted out everything so fast, her accent and high pitched voice made it sound like a language all on its own.
“J-Jester, it’s okay. You…just surprised me, that’s all.” Caleb stood up, and gulped. He noticed her trembling fingers clutching her skirt. Jester wasn’t one to get easily embarrassed. If anything, he was expecting her to make fun of the raging blush on his face. But her face was burning just as much as his was, and his need to reassure her and comfort her was his top priority.
“This place does seem to give off a special kind of atmosphere, huh?” Caleb laughed weakly. His words were met with silence that rivaled the stillness of the air. Caleb wanted to launch himself into the frozen waters. That was one of the dumbest things that came out of his mouth. Why did he think that would help? Why couldn’t he act like a functional human being?
“It’s not just that, Caleb.” Jester stated nervously. She was not meeting his gaze. “I…think I might have misunderstood the situation. At least…I hope I didn’t. Especially with how things ended last night. I wouldn’t call it subtle. But…still. I thought that…maybe...”
“Wait, what happened? What did I do?” Caleb stiffened. He really wished he remembered what had transpired last night. Did he flirt with her? Oh gods, did he do something inappropriate? Did she actually tell him the truth? Did they really make out in his room?
“You told me about your parents.” Jester’s voice was surprisingly steady. “You told me that you saw them.”
“M-My parents…?” Caleb mumbled, slowly registering her sentence. His blush immediately dissipated. His stomach fell and turned, as if preparing to push whatever what was left from last night.
“You…said you wanted to stay with them. You wanted to stay. B-But…” Jester’s voice trailed off, hesitant on what she wanted to say next.
“But?” Caleb encouraged her.
“But…you came back.” Jester took in a determined breath and looked at him. “You came back, because you heard me.”
“I…” Caleb felt his pulse quicken. “Yes, I did hear you.”
“Did you hear Beau and Veth as well?” Jester asked quickly.
“Bits and pieces.” Caleb shrugged. That was the truth. “I felt the sentiment behind them, even if it was a bit scattered.”
“What about me? What did you hear?” Jester pressured him. There was a hopeful tone in her voice, despite coming out panicked and interrogating. Caleb fought his flight response. He wanted to play stupid at that moment, but he could see that this was important to Jester. He didn’t want to ruin this. He didn’t want to lie to her.
“You said that you needed me. That you wanted to be there for me.” Caleb paused. “That you wanted me to tell you what I said before I died, which…I’m so sorry, I still have no idea. I was dying. For all I know, I could have said pocket bacon.”
“Even so! Last night…!” Jester took a step closer. That hopeful tone never left. “Caleb, I may not know Zemnian, but…the way you said it, the way you looked at me, the way you…! I wish I had known. I feel so stupid for not seeing it sooner. Or maybe…I did see it and thought it impossible.”
“W-What do you mean?” Caleb stuttered. His heart needed to stop being so loud against his ears. The frozen environment was screaming as everything around him burned brighter. He saw Jester bite her lip. He could see her uncertainty etched in her eyebrows. Ten seconds of empty silence told him she was debating with herself. He was a patient man, but every second felt like a knife to the chest.
“Caleb…” Jester paused. She closed her mouth, and then took a breath. “T-Tell me you love me.”
Caleb heard ringing in his ears. His brain had shut down. It was as if someone had hit him with a feeble mind spell, and he lost control of all of his senses. The pounding in his chest was twisting his stomach. He felt sweat run down his lower back, an extreme contrast to the cold that numbed his ears.
“What?” Was all Caleb could respond with.
“Tell me…” Jester gulped. “Tell me you love me. P-Please.”
“Jester, I…” Caleb was still trying to figure out how his mouth worked.
“Say it in Zemnian!” Jester blurted out quickly. “I want you to say it, Caleb.”
Caleb was nervous. No, that was an understatement. Caleb felt like he was having a heart attack. His throat felt dry. The pounding in his ears was deafening. Why was he scared? He had lived through more terrifying situations than this. He died to protect her. He saved her. And in her cries, she called to him through the darkness. She brought him back. Caleb would eat a dozen bear claws if she asked him to. No hesitation. Yet, all Jester was asking him to do was to say three simple words. Three, in Zemnian.
“Ich liebe dich.”
Caleb’s voice surprised him. It came out so suddenly, he thought someone else had said it. He didn’t have time to fully register what he said, as Jester grabbed his coat and pulled him down. Caleb felt soft lips on his, and his heart…his heart exploded like the fireworks in Hupperdook. He could hear it in his ears. He could feel the vibrations on his skin. He could see the colors behind his eyelids. Her mouth was hungry against him, and though his brain was trying to catch up on what was happening, he found that he was just as desperate, and just as hungry for the taste of her lips. Caleb was captivated and overwhelmed, and everything felt painfully loud in his ears. Yet it was exhilarating, and Jester was kissing him, and he wanted to scream in pure elation!
Jester separated from him with a gasp, breathless and just as shocked as he was. Her lips were wet, her face was flushed, and her eyes, glazed as it was, kept shifting back to his lips. She stared at him for what felt like an eternity before they heard cheers coming from the second floor of the inn. They both looked towards the noise, and they could see Beau and Veth shouting and laughing at them from a bedroom window.
“WE ARE AT AN INN! YOU CAN LITERALLY GET A ROOM!” Beau yelled as she grinned. Veth followed that remark with a loud whistle; impressive in pitch, but embarrassingly lewd.
Caleb was suddenly shoved away, causing him to stagger backwards. Jester looked like she was about to combust at any moment. Her hands rubbed anxiously against each other, and she made small stammering noises, trying and failing to explain what she had done. This woman…this woman who could read the dirtiest smut novels out loud with a straight face, was having a hard time recovering from a kiss that she instigated. Gods, he loved her.
“Ah…I…I-I’m gonna head back! B-Breakfast! And tea! I hope to kiss you there! I-I mean, I hope to see you there! L-Love you, too!” Jester winced, internally kicking herself, and immediately walked away as fast as she could. The whistling and laughter still followed her while she unsuccessfully hid her face behind her hand.
Caleb slowly sat back down on the log, his wide eyes focused on Jester. The view of the frozen pond was not as interesting anymore. The ice that clung to the cracks of the bark was melting. The sun had risen higher in the horizon. It was eight-forty. Caleb tasted cinnamon in his mouth.
“Father and Mother…” Caleb mumbled. “I hope I do not let you down.”